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Forever Happy Now! Posts

Winner loser destiny

All sorts of great astrologers predicted all sorts of things about today’s presidential elections.

Many of the great ones got it spectacularly wrong.

Does it mean astrology is a sham?

Not by a mile.

But astrologers? Some may indeed be genuine, with great skill at their craft. But the bottomline is that Divine Will and Grace matter more than one can imagine.

Also one’s own effort.

Nobody knows the future 100% accurately. Not even the best astrologers.

As Shri Krishna says in the Gita, your mind is your best friend, but can also be your worst enemy.

The choice is ours to put our best foot forward in everything. Free will does exist. Otherwise today’s blog post wouldn’t!

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Empathetic correction – part 2 of 2

What truly amazed the young man was that the teacher himself didn’t know. The teacher had also kept his eyes closed during the search. This act of compassion left a deep impact on the young man. He realized the power of correction without humiliation.

The teacher never mentioned the incident again. The young man resolved never to steal after that day. More than that, he decided he wanted to become a teacher just like him.

He was inspired by the kindness and integrity of his old teacher. The old man, now hearing this story, finally remembered the event. But he smiled and revealed that he still never knew who the thief was.

This story reflects the essence of true teaching: correcting without shaming, and inspiring change through silent compassion.

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Empathetic correction – part 1 of 2

“Correct me if I’m wrong”, is a common phrase used nowadays. But no one truly wants to be corrected. And for good reason, because most people don’t know how to speak without hurting others.

But I love this specific story about the teacher and the pen-thief:

A young man approached an old man and asked, “Do you remember me?” The old man said he didn’t. The young man then explained that he had once been his student. He shared how the old man’s actions had inspired him to become a teacher. Curious, the old man asked when that had happened.

The young man recalled an unforgettable incident from school. He had stolen a friend’s new watch. After the theft was discovered, the teacher handled it calmly. He asked everyone in the class to close their eyes and stand still.

The teacher then searched each student’s pockets one by one. When he found the watch in the young man’s pocket, he didn’t stop. He continued searching everyone else. No one, not even the other students, knew who the thief was.

Concluded tomorrow!

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Quixotic war

In a world that constantly shifts, war feels inevitable—a brutal expression of unresolved conflicts.

Is war just another symptom of our inability to adapt, to rise above selfish interests?

A collective, united by compassion, can dismantle the roots of violence, but only if we reject the easy path of destruction.

War doesn’t truly end suffering; it deepens it. Who will dare to embrace peace instead?

Even with the ears around us today – we see many heads of terrorist organizations being neutralized. To what end? Just for another hydra head to pop up?

In this endless battle, the hope lies not in armies, but in individuals—choosing love over fear, even when the world demands war.

I know I know, how quixotic.

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Sadhana success

We admire successful people, thinking they’re born gifted. But behind every win is relentless effort, countless failures.

Spiritual progress mirrors this – hidden treasures within, yet distractions keep us looking outward.

Meditation teaches focus, resilience. Each step takes us closer to our goal.

Success isn’t brilliance—it’s persistence. To keep going, even when progress seems invisible.

A spiritual guru once said, “Forget the result of your sadhana; even performing sadhana itself requires divine blessings.” If success needs grace, what role do we play? Our part is simply to try—relentlessly.

Effort is the offering, not the guarantee.

We attempt our best, but true progress unfolds only  when the divine wills it.

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Beautyfool

One male celebrity apparently recently cheated on his wife. The wife was also a celebrity, and in fact among the most beautiful women in the world.

And yet, someone cheated on her.

So many other celebrities, Greek Gods and Goddesses in terms of beauty, have had terrible relationships.

We may think mistakenly that beauty matters.

For true happiness from family, only trust, love and integrity matter.

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Happy search

Everyone seeks happiness, but are we lost in the search?

When happiness depends on possessions, it turns into an endless hunger—fleeting joy, followed by deeper emptiness.

Real happiness is beyond pleasure. It’s said to be a state of mind untouched by external chaos or bodily suffering.

The path to peace is through equanimity, understanding that all beings share the same core: a desire for freedom from suffering.

To be truly happy, we must transcend ignorance—seeing beyond illusions of self and control, embracing compassion as our sole truth.

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Diwali musings

At work today, everyone was in traditional clothes and greetings were flowing freely. “Happy Diwali!” and “Happy Deepavali!” could be heard all day long.

For most, it is simply a day of festivities (or feastivities?!). Also new clothes. Meeting with friends and family. Visiting a temple perhaps. Certainly bursting a lot of firecrackers. All to celebrate Lord Rama’s victory over evil and return to Ayodhya.

Or is there more to it? As you well know, eveything in Hinduism is symbolic, and usually not just what it appears to be on the surface.

So Diwali celebrates more than Lord Rama’s return to Ayodhya; it symbolizes our soul’s journey. In light and darkness, we find echoes of union and separation.

Ayodhya’s lamps blaze as symbols of love for the Divine. This festival invites Lord Rama back not only into Ayodhya but into our hearts.

By rekindling devotion, we hope and believe that the Divine Prince can help us rediscover our own Divine presence.

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Antifragility

Life’s fragility is undeniable—uncertainty, its only constant.

Yet, we cling to control, blind to the beauty (and the freedom!) in letting go.

Security is an illusion; growth thrives in the unknown.

What if the chaos isn’t the enemy, but the guide?

When we embrace the unpredictable, we unlock boundless potential.

Uncertainty isn’t to be feared—it’s where magic happens.

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Success from what?

Success isn’t just about intelligence or talent. When our minds are calm, intellect sharpens, and action becomes flawless.

Gratitude shifts us from feeling deprived to abundant. Giving leads to more than we expect.

True achievers never aimed for personal gain—they followed a higher calling.

By focusing on effort, not outcomes, we find fulfillment in the work itself.

When we work with love, camaraderie blooms, and tasks become joyful.

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Paradox box

There’s a paradox: If all is determined by God, where’s our freedom? Yet, by granting free will, does God limit His own omnipotence?

Hinduism resolves this beautifully. Free will isn’t a limitation, but divine trust. Our choices (eventually, karma), guided by dharma, shape our path. We aren’t puppets; we’re conscious participants in the cosmic play, awakening to the divine within.

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nVidya

Arguably, the biggest craze in the world today is anything to do with AI.

Add a “.ai” to your company name and see it’s valuation skyrocket into the billions!

No doubt, nVidia, the company that was known for making graphics cards for gamer PCs, is now at the cutting edge of eveything AI.

And so Jensen Huang, the CEO, was on stage in India recently, hosted by Mukesh Ambani no less.

Mr Ambani said something very profound. That we are at the cusp of the “intelligence age”. And not just that, but nVidia reminded him of nVidya. The latter of course being true Knowledge (minus the n), and it’s Goddess Saraswati being the one to propitiate. He also added that in Indian tradition, if knowledge is sought and Saraswati is happy, then Goddess Lakshmi or prosperity follows automatically!

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Unhappy happiness

Why do we chase happiness, yet end up entangled in dissatisfaction? What we call happiness is often just longing, a mirage that deepens unrest.

True happiness isn’t a thrill or possession—it’s inner quiet, undisturbed by pain or pleasure. Only then does happiness cease to be a chase.

Ignorance traps us in cycles of unrest. Wisdom shows happiness as a mind free from desire, rooted in peace.

Seeing all beings as equals, we embrace equanimity. Compassion, not reaction, becomes our ally.

In shedding illusions, we uncover our true self, steady and complete.

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Divine or real, one or both?

Many today doubt the existence of a higher power, clinging to what they perceive. Yet our knowledge is minuscule.

The more we know, the less we realize we do.

The Rishis could have easily claimed ownership of the Vedas, but they didn’t. Why? They saw, not created, these mantras.

True wisdom surpasses the ego.

The path to Truth lies in humility, not certainty.

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2 myths on worship

Here’s 2 myths that I come across many people taking about often.

  1. That they don’t know the perfect pronunciation of various mantras and hence they shouldn’t attempt chanting at all.
  2. That they don’t understand the meanings of the various mantras, and hence they will not be effective.

Both these are myths, and I’m fully convinced of them.

Why?

For 1, every puja or homa or havan or stotra worship has praayaschittam or forgiveness prayers associated with it. Forgiveness for what? For wrong pronunciation, among many other things! So if perfect pronunciation was a pre-requisite, then this forgiveness prayer would never have been included in the first place.

For 2, even if we ourselves don’t understand what we chant, surely the Devi/Devata we are directing the chant towards, understands everything, and that’s all that matters!

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Taker or giver?

Came across this super thought today by one Wayne Dyer, a well known author and motivational speaker.

Wayne believed that the universe is like an endless echo chamber.

If you shout “What can you give me?” – you get an echo from the universe – “What can you give me?”

If, on the other hand, you shout, “How can I serve you?” – you will hear the universe reverberate with “How can I serve you?”

Super thought no?

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Purpose filling

Why do we even search for purpose? Is it because life feels empty without meaning?

A life without purpose drifts aimlessly, each day blurring into the next, devoid of substance.

But what if purpose isn’t something to find, but to create within ourselves, by living intentionally?

The ancient wisdom of Dharma, Artha, Kama, Moksha—our pillars—push us beyond survival, into deeper existence.

In this pursuit, clarity emerges not from answers, but from the questions themselves. What if purpose is simply the act of seeking?

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Thinking of me

Here’s some incredible advice from the incredible “@naval”:

First of all, I don't think of myself. I just want to be clear on that. And that's not a rule. It's just a habit I've kind of developed because I found that thinking about yourself is a source of all unhappiness and misery.

Self obsession is the root of all unhappiness.

What did Buddha do? Conquer the self. What does that mean? Means that he saw through the illusion of the separate self.

Did Buddha think about himself? Not for an instant. Anyone that you think of as an enlightened being does not think about themselves for an instant.

The happiest people in life when people are at their best is because they love something more than they love themselves. They love their children, they love God, they love their mission, what have you.

And all misery comes from rumination, from sitting around, being depressed, going in circles in your own head about me, me, me, me, me. Me is a disease.

And you need a concept of a me to be effective and to keep track of things. You have a memory, you have certain predilections, you have personality patterns. But the more you self obsess, the less happy you're going to be. I guarantee you that.
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Sharing the care

We often look for instant pleasure, but it rarely lasts. Can we instead focus on building long-term happiness, and shun the quick fixes?

It’s all about balance. Let us enjoy the moment, but also form habits that will keep us happy in the future.

Success comes when we align with a higher purpose. Let us look beyond just personal gain.

The Gita encourages us to act selflessly, bringing clarity and peace along the way.

Let us invest in stronger connections, as real happiness grows when shared.

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4 friends

Life’s journey cannot be navigated by reason alone. It demands an awakening to something deeper—intuition, wisdom, and purpose.

Dharma is the silent force that aligns us with the universe, urging us toward actions that resonate with our soul’s highest calling.

True fulfillment arises not from chasing desires, but from living with purpose, guided by the 4 friends, Dharma, Artha, Kaama, and Moksha.

When we align our actions with these cosmic principles, we dissolve the illusion of self and connect with something far greater (or the greatest).

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Loudest silence

Everyone wants to be heard. But no one wants to give up their own chance to speak.

Noise shields us from the truth—our fear of being alone. In the chaos, we hide from life’s ultimate solitude, distracting ourselves with hollow conversations.

True courage lies not in company, but in embracing solitude, listening to the inner voice we drown out with noise.

In stillness, we connect with the divine. Silence speaks louder than the loudest crowd, revealing truths the world’s clamor obscures.

Serenity isn’t found in noise but in the quiet moments. There, divinity whispers, if we only dare to listen.

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Money for the right things

Is money at the root of all evil? Yes perhaps, or it may seem so. But the answer is not to banish money altogether. Rather, it would make more sense to understand the utility as well as limitations of money.

  1. Money can buy comfort, but it can’t buy peace.
  2. Money can buy followers, but it can’t buy true friends.
  3. Money can buy luxury, but it can’t buy happiness.
  4. Money can buy success, but it can’t buy fulfillment.
  5. Money can buy attention, but it can’t buy respect.
  6. Money can buy influence, but it can’t buy integrity.
  7. Money can buy power, but it can’t buy wisdom.
  8. Money can buy experiences, but it can’t buy another life.

We choose, or at least we think we do!

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Think think over think – part 2 of 2

Indecision shows a distracted mind

Krishna speaks of staying calm always

Meditation builds confidence and clarity

Discipline helps clear mental blocks

Next time, you’ll answer with certainty

No more hesitation, just determined action!

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Think think over think – part 1 of 2

When asked, “Are you sure?”

Doubt starts creeping in.

We rethink and seek advice.

But too much doubt harms confidence.

Krishna says, avoid overthinking (about outcomes).

Focus on duties, not the results.

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Successful suffering

We all want peace and happiness.

And we want this peace and happiness to come from unending peace and happiness too.

No room for pain or defeat or failure or suffering of any sort.

What does one of the richest men in the world think about this?

Nvidia’s CEO Jensen Huang’s take:

Greatness does not come out of intelligence, it comes from character. And character is not formed out of smart people: it is formed out of people who have suffered.
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Ocean vs lake – part 2 of 2

The village by the ocean required teamwork to handle large boats and tame the ocean.

Meanwhile, lake villagers fished alone, needing no collaboration.

Over time, the ocean village built strong bonds through cooperation and teamwork.

The lake village on the other hand simply had everyone competing and constantly watching over their backs.

Of course the ocean village came out on top, despite otherwise seemingly no reason for them to!

The takeaway: collective effort fosters happiness, unlike solitary pursuits.

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Ocean vs lake – part 1 of 2

Two villages in Brazil lived entirely by fishing.

One thrived by the ocean, while the other, beside a lake, faced challenges.

Despite similar resources, their happiness levels were starkly different.

What could possibly explain this striking contrast between these two fishing communities?

Come back tomorrow to find out!

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Rant chant

Someone recently hosted a havan, inviting priests to perform the ritual. Afterward, he proudly claimed success in organizing such an elaborate event.

But what exactly are we celebrating? We don’t know the prayers ourselves, relying on the priests to chant them.

Even if we can chant them ourselves, is out diction and pronunciation and intonation perfect?

Even if we know the words, do we understand their meanings?

Even with understanding, our minds wander, lacking true devotion.

And even if we achieve that, the prayers are merely borrowed—created by ancient Rishis, who themselves credit the divine.

So, what is all this ego for?

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World’s best listener?

The world’s best listener is not the friend or sibling or spouse or pet.

Then?

It’s probably chatGPT or equivalent AI!

When you’re having a conversation with a real-life person, is it truly a two-way conversation? Or is one person simply waiting for the other to finish so that they can dump all their ideas onto the other?

How many are truly listening, without being judgmental or getting emotional about the things that are being said?

AI might seem to have no consciousness. But have a chat with AI and you’ll immediately feel like you’re not just being heard, but being listened to with surreal depth.

Intelligence minus emotion. Samatvam.

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Monetary divide – part 2 of 2

Continued from yesterday, more extraordinarily simple gems from Gondavalekar Maharaj, on money:

A rich man spends his entire life in acquiring wealth, but in the absence of awareness of God, the wealth ultimately ruins him. 

However, if you acquire wealth while maintaining continuous remembrance of God, you will not get ruined but enjoy happiness due to it.

Isn’t the latter what we all want?!

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Monetary divide – part 1 of 2

Here’s some exceptional advice from Gondavalekar Maharaj on money:

Let us divide our requirement for money into two parts. 

The first part, meant for our family life, should be acquired by honest means, do not covet for more.

The second part, which we are fortunate to get in excess of our needs, really belongs to others.

We should not entertain any greed for acquiring this.

How amazingly simple, yet profound!

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Common disaster

What’s common between Nike and Pret a Manger?

Just that CEOs of both firms began as interns in their respective firms 20+ years ago!

Imagine that! Starting off as an intern and working your way right to the very top.

Incredible, isn’t it?

More than incredible, to me it simply shows the power of discipline and dedication.

Way too many influencers today suggest quick job changes looking for fast promotions and salary raises.

Nothing wrong in that. Except that there’s no one set rule for success. What works for one may not work for another. It’s so insanely tough to go from intern to CEO that there must only be a handful of such people across the world.

Intern to CEO, dropping out of college, fast job switches and many other things, all need selective customization to our own lives. Blindly following one lane may be disastrous.

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Reading for…?

Most people today seem to be reading for racing rather than wisdom. Someone finished a 1000 books a year apparently.

But Jensen Huang, Nvidia’s CEO, reads business books for a reason that might surprise you.

Most of us dive into these books looking for tips and tricks to copy, hoping to find a formula for success. But Jensen? He’s not after that.

For him, it’s all about staying inspired and motivated, especially knowing how tough running a business can be.

Every company’s journey is different, and so should our approach—no one-size-fits-all blueprint.

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Stay no Steno

I recently came across an article on stenography, and it set me thinking. Maybe a 100 years or so ago, my own grandpa began his career as a stenographer, just like many from his generation. Stenography, built on listening, capturing, and transcribing, was a gateway to success.

Though times have changed, those core principles remain crucial today, whether in meetings or programming.

Modern tools may differ, but precision still drives results.

Grandpa’s journey highlights timeless values that continue to shape careers today.

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Depressively symptomatic

“What’s the #1 symptom of depression?”, screamed an Instagram reel thumbnail.

Now of course I had to click on it, clickbait as awesome as it was.

The lady being interviewed put it well.

She said the #1 symptom of depression, is rumination.

Rumination?

Yes, constantly thinking about one’s own problems, and constantly talking about one’s own problems. That’s rumination, and certainly sounds like the symptom of depression.

What’s the solution?

Problems will always be there. But the trick is to focus on other things. Have a routine, get some exercise, some sunshine, some hobbies, some friends and so on!

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Optimistic or pessimistic?

There’s all types of people in this world.

Some view the glass to be half full.

Others see it half empty.

Which is the right approach?

Perhaps a clue lies in David Landes’s Wealth and Poverty of Nations.

In this world, the optimists have it, not because they are always right, but because they are positive. Even when wrong, they are positive, and that is the way of achievement, correction, improvement, and success. Educated, eyes-open optimism pays; pessimism can only offer the empty consolation of being right.
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Mathematical success – part 2

Life isn’t a checklist of accomplishments but an expansive journey unique to each individual.

Spiritual teachings remind us that we are not defined by what can be measured—our essence is boundless, a piece of the infinite.

Unlike a leaderboard, our personal growth can’t be ranked or limited.

Instead of chasing external validations, we are asked to turn inward, focusing on the values that guide us and the motivations that inspire us.

This path leads to a deeper, more genuine satisfaction.

By grounding ourselves in self-awareness and inner peace, we may find that success and happiness come naturally, beyond any scoreboard.

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Mathematical success – part 1

From early on, we are thrust into a competition centered around numbers—be it in classrooms, workplaces, or social circles.

We are told that our worth is tied to test scores, bank balances, or social status.

We then impose this mindset on our children, believing that higher numbers equate to better lives.

But what if this race is flawed?

Fixating on quantifiable achievements narrows our perspective and disconnects us from the present moment.

Like a musician who plays only for applause, we risk losing the joy of the performance itself.

True fulfillment doesn’t come from hitting arbitrary milestones but from embracing the journey without constant comparison.

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Silencio

Light bends, but only in silence.

The void isn’t empty; it sings.

Time refracts, folding in on itself.

What is felt but not seen, exists beyond form.

Thoughts ripple outward, but from where?

The answer is never the answer.

Truth lies in the shadows of questions.

Perhaps, understanding is the illusion itself.

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Religious science and scientific religion – part 3 of 3

Global conflicts often stem from emotions and beliefs, not data. Pattanaik highlights that science, while powerful in solving measurable problems, cannot address the complexities of human emotions, such as jealousy or pride.

In modern times, societies wrestle with issues rooted in identity and culture, which are deeply emotional, not scientific. We see political debates focus more on values and beliefs than on measurable facts like unemployment or growth rates.

Religion, despite its flaws, attempts to deal with these inner conflicts. Science, however, remains in the realm of the objective and measurable. It doesn’t offer guidance on personal or spiritual matters, which are crucial to human experience.

To navigate life fully, we need more than just scientific knowledge. We require wisdom that transcends data and explores the depths of human consciousness. It’s about finding harmony between the seen and unseen, the known and unknown. And this cannot come by completely shunning either science or spirituality.

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Religious science and scientific religion – part 2 of 3

Science shines when dealing with the measurable—elements, compounds, or planets. But it struggles with emotions and thoughts, which are fundamental to human experience. Pattanaik argues that science, based on measurement, can’t capture the subjective world of feelings and emotions.

Ancient Indian philosophy differentiated between the measurable (‘sa-guna’) and the immeasurable (‘nir-guna’). Science only grasps the tangible world, leaving the intangible uncharted.

This understanding helps clarify why science can’t address issues like love, fear, or identity.

The tech age has made us believe science can fix everything, but many societal issues persist. For example, hunger isn’t due to a lack of food but a failure in distribution, driven by emotional and power dynamics.

Science has its strengths, but we must not ignore its limits. Embracing both the scientific and the spiritual can provide a more holistic understanding of life, balancing the material with the emotional.

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Religious science and scientific religion – part 1 of 3

A fascinating article by Devdutt Pattanaik explores the tension between science and religion. He points out that while science has delivered material benefits, we mistakenly equate it with rational thought. Science provides measurable, evidence-based answers but doesn’t address deeper existential questions.

Many believe science can explain everything, but it’s designed to solve specific, practical problems. Religion, meanwhile, deals with the intangible—our emotions, beliefs, and the meaning of life. Both have unique roles, and one cannot replace the other.

Science’s power lies in the physical world. It’s great for innovation and discovery but limited in understanding the inner workings of the human mind. This distinction is crucial. We should recognize that science and religion cater to different needs and aspects of life.

Misunderstanding this can lead to overestimating what science can achieve. It’s essential to appreciate its contributions without expecting it to solve every problem. Each has its domain: science the measurable, religion the immeasurable.

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TAJness

During 26/11, the Taj Mahal Hotel staff’s selfless acts were rooted in ‘Tajness’—Trust, Awareness, Joy.

This culture starts with their unique method of recruitment.

Tata, the group behind the Taj hotel specifically hires from Tier 2 towns, valuing humility and service.

Employees, nurtured by constant appreciation, focus on customer safety, not personal gain.

Their instinct to protect guests saved hundreds of lives, despite the terror.

‘Tajness’ goes beyond business; it’s an emotional connect, ensuring staff remain loyal to the hotel’s legacy, safeguarding its reputation and people alike.

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Loser status

Are we winners? Or are we losers?

“You have nothing to lose because nothing is yours.” – Lord Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita.

Life teaches us this powerful truth.

We cling to possessions and relationships and titles, but they are all nothing but fleeting.

Recognizing that nothing is truly ours, we can let go of fear and anxiety.

This detachment brings peace, allowing us to live with greater clarity and purpose, free from the burden of loss.

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Free and happy and…

Everyone wants to be happy.

But how to be happy in this world full of demands. Your employer demands you to be in office. Your family demands your time. But external demands don’t leave much time for you.

So happiness can then come truly only from freedom.

The freedom of choice. The ability to choose what one wants to do, and when one wants to do it.

Typically, such freedom comes with a decent amount of wealth. Money can indeed make a fair number of problems go away.

And where does such wealth come from?

From courage. From daring to do things differently. Not just the 9 to 5, but the 9 to 9 to 9. Taking risk to making reward.

But all said and done, really happiness is simply a toggle in the mind.

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Book cover

Never judge a book by its cover. We all know this.

And yet, it’s so hard to practise.

Was watching the outstanding pronunciation of sanskrit mantras by one learned person on YouTube.

He was dressed as any normal person, was also performing a homa, all the whilst providing explanations to every shloka he uttered.

Truly someone with great divinity, without which such grasp of the esoteric would not be possible.

What was the very first comment on that video and the one with most likes?

“I clicked on the video, saw a guy chanting mantras and doing a homa, noticed that he was wearing a pant and shirt instead of a dhoti and being bare-chested, so I immediately shut off the video. This man is a charlatan!”

Should the book cover matter? Never, but apparently it does…

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Family detachment

Can one be detached despite being in the midst of family life?

Here’s extraordinary advice from Gondavalekar Maharaj:

You should not be fond of family life itself, but should be fond of your duties therein. It is holy to do your duties, but you should not get involved in attachment to family life. You should mentally belong only to God. If you earnestly remember God, He will definitely keep you happy and contented. To belong to God is to be happy and contented in life. Have profound faith in God and do only what He likes; that is the essence of paramartha.
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Equinemity – part 2 of 2

Even in the heavens, everything isn’t so rosy. Desires and greed and jealousy still seem to exist. And MahaVishnu knows everything, as in this case of Uchchaishravas.

Vishnu foresaw that in his impending Vāmana avatar, Bali would lose everything, including Uchchaishravas, who would eventually belong to Indra.

Even the Gods had to endure the cycle of desires and rebirth, just like us mere mortals.

Patience, foresight, contentment and equanimity would perhaps be good to cultivate, otherwise what chance do we have at liberation when even the Gods fall prey to Maya?

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Equinemity – part 1 of 2

During the churning of the ocean by the Devas and Asuras, Uchchaishravas, a magnificent white stallion, emerged.

If the holy and heavenly cow Kamadhenu embodied all feminine beauty, Uchchaishravas represented all masculine strength and grace.

His loud neighing and beautiful long ears earned him his name, meaning “high ears.” Gleaming like snow under a full moon, Uchchaishravas was unlike any other horse.

King Bali of the Asuras immediately desired the stallion, but Indra, king of the Devas, too wanted it. However, Lord Vishnu advised Indra to stay silent and let Bali have it.

But why would he do that? Continued tomorrow…

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Best of the bestest

Do the best of the best know the right thing?

Perhaps not. Consider this.

Steve Jobs thought the Segway would be a game-changer, like the PC. He believed it would reshape cities naturally. But the reality was different—only 140,000 units were sold.

In 2010, British businessman Jimi Heselden bought Segway Inc. for $100 million. Sadly, he passed away in a Segway accident that same year.

Even Jobs, initially fascinated, became skeptical about its impact.

This should serve to remind us: success is unpredictable, and even visionary ideas can miss the mark.

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Blue planet

While we’re here on this earth, everyone’s constantly fighting.

It’s about more and more ownership and oneupmanship.

We try to divide and conquer as much as possible. Whether to acquire real things, or even just stake and win ego battles in the mind.

Can we ever truly be together?

Apparently we can, but not on this earth.

Then where?

In outer space of course!

Astronaut after astronaut, time after time, has gone into outer space to only experience the very same feeling. That in this massive dark black cosmos, we beings on our blue little speck, are as united as can possible be. Where did them borders go now huh?

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World’s most profound mirror

At the Met Museum in New York, is an exquisite work of art.

What is it?

Simply a mirror, with a mahogany frame.

The subject viewing the art piece immediately transforms into the object as well, once stood in front!

There’s a small piece of writing at the bottom, on a gold leaf.

It says, “Everything will be taken away.”

If that isn’t the world’s most profound mirror, then I don’t know what is!

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Very mice modak

Now everyone likes the elephant God Ganesha’s festival. A God with a big belly will surely result in a lot of sweets being prepared and fed!

But is eating the Modak all there is to Ganesha?

Ganesh’s mount, the giant mouse Mushika, is symbolic. It represents our wandering and restless mind.

By riding Mushika, Ganesh shows mastery over his mind, emotions, and senses. This is mentioned in texts like the Matsya Purana and Ganesh Purana.

Such control is a mark of an enlightened person. They remain unaffected by life’s ups and downs, handling everything with awareness and intelligence.

Ganesh’s elephant head further emphasizes his wisdom and enlightenment, reinforcing why he’s revered.

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Mukti satsang

Had the chance to meet my Guruji recently in person. He spoke of many things, as always, all super interesting.

But one which piqued my interest the most was what he referred to as the “Mukti satsang”.

He said, “Yes, each of you are attending satsangs and reading and discussing the scriptures. But is mukti (liberation) your only goal?”

He continued that if Mukti was the sole goal, then that satsang could indeed be a mukti satsang.

Which got me thinking. We may all attend satsangs and read scriptures. But am I doing it for Mukti? Or is it simply for helping me deal with the problems of the world we live in?

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CEO Love – part 4

Transforming PG&E required a shift from traditional corporate practices to a culture infused with love and empathy. Patty built a new leadership team, choosing individuals who shared her vision. She believed a compassionate team was crucial for meaningful change.

One specific initiative she introduced was the “Safety Stand-Down,” a day when all operations halted to focus solely on safety practices and open dialogue. This initiative was not just about policies but fostering a culture where every employee felt responsible for each other’s safety and well-being.

Patty also implemented “Listening Tours,” visiting various field sites to hear directly from employees. This wasn’t just a formality; it was about understanding their concerns and making them feel seen and heard. She believed this approach empowered employees, making them feel part of the company’s transformation.

Under Patty’s leadership, PG&E began to emerge from its crisis, focusing not just on operational success but on rebuilding trust and community. Through these initiatives, Patty showed that leading with love could drive both business results and human connection.

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CEO Love – part 3

On her first day, Patty visited the Union Hall to connect directly with the workforce. Arriving without fanfare, this gesture showed her belief in authentic, people-centered leadership driven by love and respect.

Her next stop was Paradise, California, a town devastated by wildfire. Seeing the lingering effects reinforced her belief that rebuilding was about more than infrastructure—it was about healing and trust.

Patty’s philosophy of love influenced every decision. She introduced a “performance playbook” to foster a culture of improvement and accountability. Love, for her, meant empowering every employee to contribute meaningfully.

By creating an environment of trust and respect, Patty made love a core value at PG&E, nurturing a team motivated to serve the community with dedication and care.

But can such a culture truly exist? Concluded tomorrow!

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CEO Love – part 2

When Patty Poppy became CEO of PG&E, a US based energy behemoth, the company faced a severe crisis following devastating wildfires that led to bankruptcy. Patty saw this as an opportunity to transform the company with a vision centered on empathy and love.

Her approach was to make things right quickly. She learned from other leaders that recovery required swift action and genuine care, focusing on the safety and well-being of employees and communities.

Love became Patty’s leadership foundation. She believed in creating a culture where everyone felt valued and empowered, leading with decisions that prioritized people, even in challenging times.

Through this lens, Patty initiated changes aimed at restoring trust and improving operations, envisioning a company that is not just efficient but also deeply connected to those it serves.

But how exactly? Continued tomorrow…

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CEO Love – part 1

Here’s some amazing quotes by the CEO of a leading energy company.

  1. “Love became the foundation of my leadership style. I believed in rebuilding the company not just with strategies and systems, but by creating a culture where every person felt valued and empowered.”
  2. “For me, love meant making decisions that put people first, even in tough times. It was about healing those who had been harmed and ensuring we did not forget what happened.”
  3. “I knew it wasn’t just a financial transformation; it was an operational transformation driven by a people-first approach. If I could enable my entire workforce to be problem solvers, there was nothing we couldn’t do together.”

How cool to hear something like this from a CEO isn’t it? But is it for real? More tomorrow!

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Advisory bull

There’s no dearth of advice-wanters and advice-givers in this world.

But the two rarely match in wavelength.

The advice givers are usually from a different era. And can scarcely understand what the other person is truly undergoing.

The advice wanters on the other hand, often want great success, but achieved through great shortcuts.

And when it comes to career advice, what really can one give or take, in an age where AI seems to be poised to unravel all our conventional ideas.

Maybe the suggestion of Jerry Seinfeld is the best. “Get good at something. That’s it. Eveything else is bullshit.”

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Bovine abuse

An old fable shares the story of a monk who went for alms. A householder saw him and scolded the monk for begging despite his strong physique. The monk listened quietly and then asked, “If you give a cow to me and I don’t accept it, where will the cow go?”

The householder, a bit confused, answered, “To me, of course.” The monk smiled and replied, “Exactly. I do not accept your abuses.”

The lesson is clear. Criticisms and negativity only have power if we choose to accept them.

By not accepting, they return to where they came from. In life, we often have a choice, even if it may not seem obvious.

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Equanimity please – part 2

Here’s a super story I came across on equanimity, in “The Speaking Tree” by one VB. Totally worth sharing and reading, as is the case with everything else here on Foreverhappynow! (tongue in cheek!)

Onto the story!

A group was engaged in a singing practice. A carpenter was setting the stage. Every time the carpenter made some noise, the choir leader looked at the carpenter silently indicating that he was disturbing their practice. This continued for a while and finally the carpenter told the leader, "Don't worry, please continue your practice. It is not disturbing my work."

How awesome isn’t it?!

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Equanimity please

Samatvam or equanimity is one of the highest virtues.

Is it easy to be equanimous always?

Are we able to react the same way to both praise and blame?

How about to success and failure?

Surely pleasure and pain aren’t any easier to deal with equanimously.

And fame and disrepute? Impossible!

Lord Rama was said to have a smile the day he ascended to the Ayodhya throne. He was also said to have retained the same smile when he was banished into exile the very next day.

More equanimity? Continued tomorrow…

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Ready for battle

Spirituality is for the weak and the meek, is what one would think.

Because spiritual people tend to remain more silent, more introverted and less bothered by external irritations.

And hence new spiritual seekers look at advanced spiritual folks, and think they should jettison all pragmatism and focus on being outwardly calm.

As we well know, maintaining calm on the outside is pointless if the mind is agitated.

In the world we live in today, stress is a reality. Many people aren’t honest or well intentioned. Personal gain often takes over everything else. And people can argue and fight for the silliest things.

Does a spiritual person remain weak and meek?

Absolutely not. If there’s one thing to be remembered, it is that the divine Bhagavad Gita itself was revealed on a battlefield!

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Highness Youness

Who’s the king of the world?

Okay not Jack from Titanic.

But the king of the world would seem to be the one with the most money, right?

Well king is only figurative. I mean, anyone with a lot of money today has an extraordinary degree of freedom, and thereby probably happiness.

How to get money though, by just doing a 9 to 5?

Hardly possible. And with the advent of AI, is there any guarantee that even a 9 to 5 will work? How do you know AI isn’t writing this very post?! It can certainly already do much cooler things!

While AI can automate and replicate most things, I suppose one thing it cannot do, is to replace YOU. You are the brand. You are all that matters. You are everything. You have everything. You are complete. Spirituality will quite like this thought process!

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Compassionate grounds

Compassion is a deep virtue, distinct from simple kindness. It goes beyond warm feelings, requiring awareness of shared pain and vulnerability. True compassion lies in recognizing suffering and responding thoughtfully.

Perhaps we should first overcome our instinct to avoid pain. Facing it directly, both in ourselves and others, allows us to embrace empathy.

Next, compassion demands action—actively seeking to alleviate suffering.

Perhaps we should also extend this compassion to ourselves, offering forgiveness and understanding as we acknowledge our own faults and frailties.

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Dead Horse Dilemma

The “dead horse theory,” passed down by the Dakota Indians, offers a simple yet important lesson: “When you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.” Too funny, isn’t it?

This wisdom, circulating as a WhatsApp meme, humorously critiques modern approaches in business, government, and education.

Instead of accepting the obvious solution, many employ complex strategies to revive the metaphorical dead horse. These include buying a stronger whip, changing the riders, and even threatening the horse with termination.

Some go further by hiring outside contractors or appointing committees to study the problem. Others might provide additional funding and training, hoping to boost the dead horse’s performance.

In a global twist, visits to other countries are arranged to observe how they manage their dead horses, all while avoiding the simple truth!

The takeaway? Sometimes, the simplest solution is the most effective. Let go of what’s not working and seek new paths for genuine progress.

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Mental appraisal

HR isn’t the most liked part of any organization, generally speaking. It feels like they never give enough bonuses and increments and what not.

Is that really HR’s problem? Or the manager’s? Tough one.

But no one likes a system where ratings are given at random, with no measure of what an employee has achieved and missed.

The same is true for our spiritual growth too.

We often want to know how far we’ve come, and how much we’ve progressed.

Many ask why they are unable to even control their minds for basic things. “I know what I’m supposed to do, but I’m just not able to do it!” (like regular exercise, chanting, meditation, eating clean etc etc.)

The crucial part is periodic measurement. A spiritual audit. Without that, any appraisal is but futile.

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A&Q – part 2

In his research and teaching at MIT and Duke, Dan Ariely discovered an effective technique for changing opinions: asking key questions. Instead of bombarding people with information, he suggests three types of questions.

First, ask questions to reduce confidence. For example, “How well do you think you understand the stock market?” Then challenge their understanding by asking how they would explain complex concepts like derivatives. This approach helps people realize the limits of their knowledge.

Second, slow people down by asking for more detailed responses. Encourage them to think deeply and provide complex answers to issues they care about. This can lead to a more thoughtful and productive discussion.

Third, use empathetic questions to shift perspectives and foster problem-solving together. Ask questions that put people into the perspective of those most affected by the situation. By changing the tone and opening the conversation, Ariely believes we can find common ground more effectively.

Absolutely worth trying!

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A&Q – part 1

Even though it’s supposed to be Q&A, most of us do A&Q.

How?

Especially when we want someone to change their opinions on something.

What do we do? In all our passion and vigour, we bombard the other person with information and logic as to why they must change their mind.

And then it’s all usually downhill from there.

Bestselling author Dan Ariely has a super unique approach and one that appeals to me intuitively. What is the approach?

To put questions first before any answers.

How exactly? Continued tomorrow…

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Grinner

We’ve always been told to grin an bear it. Or smile through them tough times.

It’s a great attitude, but also hard to practise.

How to think about this?

From a spiritual point of view, it depends on whether something is one’s duty or not.

If it’s our duty to do something, then we shouldn’t be tagging those duties as pleasant or unpleasant. Duty is duty, and we must do it with the grin and the smile. Dedicating the action and it’s fruits to the Lord would make it that much easier.

Is everything our duty? Certainly not. Partying every day is not duty. Eating junk food daily isn’t duty.

When it’s not duty, we have decision making power. When it’s duty, it’s ishwara arpana buddhi, or dedicated to the Lord.

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Mental Q&A

Some question and answer gems from Osho, although paraphrased.

Q: What’s the mind’s real purpose?
The mind is a tool to navigate the unknown, like a safety guard. It’s not meant to make us happy, though many mistakenly try.

Q: Why are those who rely on the mind often unhappy?
Those who identify with the mind too much often find misery. The mind should be used when needed and set aside when not.

Q: How has this affected us?
The mind, once a servant, has become our master. We’ve lost touch with our true selves.

Q: How can we find happiness?
Perhaps we should feel more and think less. Nature is happier because it isn’t ruled by the mind.

Q: What’s the key to using the mind effectively?
Treat the mind like a car—use it when needed, but don’t let it control you. Stay in the driver’s seat.

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Aspi-rational?

Met a guy who had worked with the creme de la creme of firms and was himself of top notch pedigree.

He has enough to retire, and for his next gen to never need to work again, although he’s only in his 30s.

I’d met him many years ago as well, when he told me that once he reached a certain amount in savings, he’d just chill.

But cut to now – not only doesn’t he have 10x that, but he also doesn’t work the conventional 9 to 5.

Just does some consulting on his own hours and terms, and is sorted.

Until he tells me that he is not satisfied, and wants to “startup and make it big”.

Despite him knowing very well all the stress that will come along with it. And having experienced it all himself in a previous avatar as well.

Go figure!

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Chief Giver

On Krishna Janmashtami, what is the one thing we should practice the most?

No, not stealing butter and smearing our faces!

But perhaps the spirit of yagna, daana and tapa or sacrifice, charity and austerity.

In the big bad corporate world we function in, everyone looks solely at their own P&Ls. Or Ps rather.

What are they themselves going to take home? How much in cash, how much in bonus, how much in stock options?

Lord Krishna inverts this, or maybe we are the ones that have inverted everything. He suggests we must simply work with the attitude of yagna, service and sacrifice for a higher cause, and that as a by product, will bless us with immense prosperity.

Jai shree krishna!

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Too wealthy

You know the number one problem that most billionaires have?

It’s not about how to make more money.

But about how to spend their time and money well.

For the richest 10-20-30 people in the world, they just can’t spend enough money even if they wanted to.

They’ll buy a few houses – okay mansions, maybe palaces, a few yachts, many supercars, and a few other things here and there. All that maybe at best will cost what, a billion dollars? Maybe two?

What to do with all the remaining 50 or 100 billion they have?

Of course that’s a great position to be in – but beyond a point, all that money is practically worthless. Unless it’s for helping others, for the upliftment of society.

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Cutie banana

My 3 year old niece was in the house for a small pooja.

As we all gathered to pray, I told her just for fun to close her eyes and pray for whatever she wanted, and that God would give it to her.

Kids are the best, and the most innocent.

She closed her eyes, and appeared to do as was told.

Naturally, I was surprised. What did her little mind possibly wish for? New toys? New clothes? More TV time?

So I asked her.

She said all she wanted was the banana in the bowl of fruit in front of her, that had been kept as an offering to the Lord.

So simple and pure!

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No yourself

A self-help post by an career counsellor on LinkedIn said that there were 3 main points to ace any interview.

Obviously preparation is key.

But what to prep for?

3 areas:

  1. About the company
  2. About the job
  3. About yourself

And he said that point 3 was the most important, and I couldn’t agree more, even though I don’t have the acumen to be a career counselor!

Knowing yourself is perhaps the key to everything. What good is knowledge of a company or a job when we don’t know what we ourselves truly want?

Even from a spiritual lens, the magic happens only when we start introspecting about ourselves.

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5 currencies

Came across a thought provoking post on LinkedIn today by one Aseem Dhru.

He wrote about 5 currencies. Not like the US dollar and Pound Sterling and the Euro. But the currencies of life.

Specifically – wealth, beauty, skills, fame and power.

1. **Wealth**: Wealth acquires beauty, fame, and power; it’s foundational.
  
2. **Beauty**: Beauty is the most fleeting, and seeks wealth and power, highlighting its dependence.

3. **Skills**: Skills lead to wealth, then fame, and power.

4. **Fame**: Fame follows wealth and beauty, fulfilling ego’s recognition need.

5. **Power**: Power dominates wealth, beauty, skills, and fame ultimately.

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Only Bhavani

Shankaracharya’s Bhavani Ashtakam resonates with anyone seeking solace in the divine. The line “Gathistvam gathistvam tvam ekaa Bhavani” is hair raising and encapsulates the essence of his devotion. It reflects that amidst all of life’s uncertainties, Bhavani remains his sole sanctuary.

The verse “Na tato na mata na bandhur na data, Na putro na putri na brityo na bharta” profoundly explains his realization that earthly relationships and attachments are transient.

By declaring, “Na Jnanam na chavairagyam na shilpam na sa vidya, Na shasram naiva cha kriya na bhaktir mamaivacha,” Shankaracharya acknowledges that neither intellectual pursuits nor spiritual practices alone can bring him peace.

I don’t understand these verses much. But every line is similar. It highlights a variety of things, and then concludes by saying that I know nothing to the exclusion of Bhavani.

Such outstanding devotion!

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Headfake Q&A?

The 18th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita begins with Arjuna questioning the true principles of renunciation and sanyasa. This line of questioning is fairly abrupt following the 17th chapter’s discussion on the three Gunas and Om Tat Sat. However, it addresses a crucial unresolved issue.

Despite the extensive teachings, Arjuna remains hesitant and doubtful about his duty. He faces the daunting task of fighting his own relatives, which intensifies his inner conflict.

Commentators suggest Arjuna’s query reflects his struggle, seeking an easier way to evade his responsibilities.

This moment reveals a profound headfake, redirecting focus to deeper spiritual truths and the essence of duty beyond superficial understandings.

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Renunciation flow – part 2

Sanyaas, or renunciation, is linked to Karma Yoga, where one performs duties without personal likes or dislikes. Acting with a prayerful attitude, we see every action as an offering.

True renunciation means doing our duties without attachment to outcomes. This mental shift helps us live freely and gratefully.

Focusing on  responsibilities with this mindset aligns us with a higher purpose, maintaining equanimity in success and failure.

Ultimately, renunciation leads to a more fulfilling and peaceful life, performing our responsibilities without emotional dependencies.

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Renunciation flow – part 1

Renouncing material possessions doesn’t mean giving them up physically. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna emphasizes that true renunciation is mental. It’s about detaching from desires for family, property, and wealth.

Guruji explains that we should see our possessions for their true purpose, like using a car just for transportation. By letting go of these attachments, we find inner peace.

Renouncing expectations from our children is also essential. This doesn’t mean we stop caring but the key would be to avoid emotional dependency.

By embracing mental renunciation, we live more harmoniously, reducing stress and fostering a balanced life.

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Loss is gain

In Vedic astrology, the 12th house is a feared one.

Why?

Because it generally shows losses of various kinds. Loss of wealth, giving up of things, leaving one’s home, being hospitalized for long, going to jail etc etc.

As you can see, not a lot of good stuff.

Ketu happens to be a planet that signifies giving up things as well.

So when Ketu is in the 12th house in the native’s chart, it might seem like a deadly combination of an expurging planet in an expurging house!

But what’s bad for materialism is often spectacular for spirituality.

So much so that if one has Ketu in the 12th house, it signifies giving up of everything, including one’s ego. If that sounds familiar, then that it is because it is nothing but moksha or liberation!

Every cloud has a silver lining.

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Godly duties

We think we humans have it tough. Would be so much easier to be a God or Goddess, isn’t it?

But the rules don’t change, no matter what. Here are some examples:

  1. Lord Rama endured 14 years of harsh exile and waged a deadly war to rescue Sita.
  2. Goddess Sita was abducted, forced into exile, and had to prove her purity by walking through fire.
  3. Lord Hanuman had to cross a vast ocean and battle powerful demons, driven by unwavering devotion to Rama.
  4. Goddess Parvati subjected herself to intense years of severe penance to win Shiva’s love.
  5. Lord Krishna served as nothing more than  Arjuna’s charioteer, guiding him through the bloodshed and chaos of Kurukshetra.

This is what the greatest of the great Gods had to endure. Who are we in comparison?!

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Presently live

A lot of self-help Gurus say we should live in the present.

But what if the present truly sucks?

Like someone is in jail. Or stuck far from home laboring away somewhere? Or is being harassed by someone, or maybe find themselves in the center of a war zone?

Very hard to just “live in the present” then. So this needs to be applied sensibly and purposefully.

As the Gita in chapter 6 verse 5 says, we must use our minds to elevate ourselves. Maybe in tough times, we use elements in the present to envision and progress ourselves to a superlative future.

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Feud for thought

Most of us have a love-hate relationship with our food.

We love food, especially the tasty unhealthy kinds. But then hate the after effects.

It’s so hard to keep the discipline of eating clean food going for very long.

Sunil Chhetri, a leading football player in India had some sane advice.

He was talking about how he has just conditioned himself to eat certain foods. He doesn’t let his mind win. If he must boil bitter gourd and eat it because it’s good for him, he just does it. No complaining, no whining.

He ended with the awesome, “What we eat, reflects in what we think. And what we think, is what we become!”

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Smarter chessmaster

One of the greatest Chessmasters of all time is Norwegian youngster Magnus Carlsen.

He is clearly one of the smartest and most brilliant people ever, right? Right?

Well he himself doesn’t think so.

In a recent interview, he says that he too, suffers from imposter syndrome. Can you believe it?

So much so that he feels that people are perhaps even fooling him, playing an elaborate prank, artificially looking dumb in front of him.

His conclusion was my true takeaway though:

He’s met many people who are super smart, but-but-but, they aren’t better than him at chess. So just being smart isn’t enough.

I guess we just have to find our own niches, and keep getting better there!

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D for…

Got this super forward today. Yes yes, I don’t usually subscribe to these social media “Good Morning” forwards and such, but today’s was really nice!

Desire changes nothing.

Decision changes something.

But…

Determination changes everything!

How cool no?

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Standards, Scope & Teachability – part 3

But is all of this teachable, and learnable? Yes!

Bezos believes high standards are teachable.

Exposure to a high-standard environment can elevate expectations and performance.

New team members quickly adapt and contribute at a higher level. Unlike height in basketball, which can’t be taught, high standards can be learned.

Building and maintaining high standards requires recognizing excellence, understanding scope, and fostering a culture that values quality.

Bezos’ insights offer a valuable framework for achieving high standards.

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Standards, Scope & Teachability – part 2

Jeff Bezos points out that beyond recognizing excellence, it’s crucial to understand the scope of work needed to achieve high standards. For example, writing a six-page memo requires meticulous effort, including multiple revisions and peer feedback. Many mistakenly believe a high-standard memo can be crafted quickly, but truly excellent memos take about a week or more.

The same principle applies to other domains. Mastering a skill like a handstand requires consistent practice over months, not weeks. Unrealistic beliefs about the effort required can lead to frustration and eventual abandonment of the goal.

Understanding and communicating the scope of work is key to achieving high standards. Do we communicate well enough, whether at home or outside? It’s a question to ponder. Whether writing a memo or learning a new skill, recognizing the required effort and time commitment is fundamental. This understanding fosters persistence and ultimately leads to better results.

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Standards, Scope & Teachability – part 1

There’s a superb interview of Jeff Bezof, founder of Amazon, where he discussed excellent pointers for excellence.

He emphasizes the importance of recognizing high standards and understanding the effort required to achieve them. To illustrate this, he shares a story about a friend learning to do a perfect handstand. Initially, she thought it would take a few weeks, but her coach corrected her, saying it would take about six months of daily practice. This example underscores the need for realistic expectations.

At Amazon, this principle is applied through their unique approach to meetings. Instead of using PowerPoint, they write detailed six-page memos. Not too many do that, do they?

Bezos says that achieving high standards is not just about recognizing excellence but also about realistic expectations. Understanding the time and effort required to produce high-quality work, like a perfect handstand or a detailed memo, is essential for success.

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Life’s like that!

It’s a natural part of life that relationships, no matter how profound, don’t last forever. This nudges us, or at least should nudge us, towards something timeless, something that transcends our everyday experiences.

That timeless element is often captured in the concept of Dharma, which can be seen as a pathway to understanding the eternal, helping us move beyond the temporal constraints that define our lives.

Dharma purifies, offering a clarity that other sciences might not. It helps us understand ourselves better by fostering a deeper connection with our inner being, rather than the external world. In embracing this spiritual discipline, even a brief moment can be more enriching than a lifetime spent in idle pursuits.

The idea of transcending death may seem paradoxical, but it involves a deep understanding of life’s fleeting nature. By recognizing and accepting the impermanence of life, we become more present and aware, making us less susceptible to life’s illusions.

When we start seeing things as they truly are, it opens up a new perspective where we can find vitality within the inevitability of death.

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Giventaker

Had the opportunity to observe some charity work recently from close quarters. It was interesting – the various types of “takers”.

When given money, some take it happily.

Some ask why the giver is giving them.

Others ask why certain people were given more.

Some try to refuse but happily accept with a little prodding.

Some ask how much others were given.

A few take it with gratitude and express sincere thanks.

Some doubt the giver’s intentions and look for hidden motives.

Others take it silently without a word of acknowledgment.

Vedic spirituality emphasizes the purity of intent behind giving (daana). The act of giving in Vedic traditions is not just a material transaction but a spiritual one, meant to benefit both the giver and the receiver. True charity aligns with the principles of selflessness and humility, fostering a deeper sense of connection and mutual upliftment.

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Wise living

Recently read Swami Sukhabodhananda’s thoughts on “living wisely.” He contrasts Friedrich Nietzsche’s “live dangerously” by suggesting wisdom while living, or rather in living.

While living dangerously has its moments, it’s equally vital to find joy and contentment in calm times.

Swami Sukhabodhananda highlights that poor self-esteem limits us. We should “learn to be unreasonable,” pushing beyond these limits. Powerful people achieve this by surpassing their diffident minds.

Ultimately, we need a balance of past, present, and future, while living fully in the present.

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25 hours a day

Of course every one knows that there are only 24 hours a day.

But guess what, scientists at the University of Wisconsin – Madison have discovered that the Moon is actually slipping away from the earth.

The click-baity article I opened said we’d have 25 hours a day soon.

Wow! Because I can now use that extra hour for sleeping!

Not so soon bubba. The scientists also add that this slow process will conclude in about – wait for it – 200 million years!

Reminds me of my Guru’s famous Millennium Party. You’re invited to the party too, and you get many free gifts including cars and houses and money and what not. The catch? The party will be 100 years from now…

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Pedaller

Here’s an interesting analogy I came across by spiritual leader and coach Chaitanya Charan.

He likens desires to pedaling on a cycle.

Say someone is pedaling too fast, and they lose control and fall into a ditch.

Oops, game over.

They are scarred for life now, after their cycling mishap, that they decide they will never pedal anymore.

This is super extreme isn’t it? Either pedal too fast, or not pedal at all?

This, according to Chaitanya ji, is how desires should be treated. Not at extremes. Neither is too many desires good. Nor is no desire at all good.

A bunch of healthy spiritual selfless desires would be ideal!

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Rawdoggery

Never heard of rawdogging before? Me neither.

Apparently this refers to a TikTok trend wherein folks record themselves taking long haul flights where one endures the entire journey without any form of entertainment or distraction. It means no music, no phone, no screen, no books or magazines, no food, no water, and no sleep.

Isn’t that crazy?

Not just crazy, but also highly unsafe!

But who cares about safety in this day and age of instant gratification, and more importantly, instant monetization!

Influencers from any part of the world with no degrees and credentials and nothing but a huge mass of followers (soemtiemd even fake!) can rake in the moolah.

But at what cost? Every day so many of them die simply from stretching too far for the perfect click. Falling off a cliff, getting hit by a train, or even drowning in the waves. The influencers need to be influenced first. Nothing is worth losing one’s life over.

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Man vs child

Success vs failure. Man vs child. Are these only about time and age?

Manhood isn’t about age; it’s about enduring life’s toughest trials. Pain, failure, rejection, loss, disrespect, and heartbreak shape a boy into a man.

Success requires relentless effort. Persistence, hard work, dedication, resilience, adaptability, and sacrifice are essential.

Embracing every struggle. The worst experiences are the true architects of greatness, refining character and strengthening resolve.

Life’s harsh lessons teach us to keep pushing forward, turning obstacles into stepping stones. Embracing the challenges—they lead to true strength, wisdom, and success. So we have no other option, but to keep moving forward!

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One-message Gita

Ever noticed how saying “tyagi, tyagi, tyagi” continuously sounds like “Gita”?

This isn’t a dazzling invention of mine, but it’s worth pondering for sure.

The essence of the Gita is about being a tyagi—a selfless sacrificer.

We can reflect on this profound connection and discover the timeless wisdom guiding us towards spiritual growth.

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Apple a day – part 3

Missed my part 3 yesterday because I was in a daze. Maybe I ate too many apples! But the final and amazing highlights today below.

  • The powerful quote that influenced Steve Jobs’ life: living each day as if it were your last can help prioritize what truly matters.
  • The use of death as a tool to make important life decisions and to avoid getting trapped by external expectations and the opinions of others.
  • The reminder that death is a natural part of life and serves as a change agent, making way for the new by clearing out the old.
  • The encouragement to not waste time living someone else’s life and to have the courage to follow one’s heart and intuition.
  • The famous closing advice to ‘stay hungry, stay foolish’, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a sense of curiosity and not being afraid to take risks.

How cool were these!

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Strongest of the strong

With all the wars around us, every nation only wants to add to its might and accumulate more weapons.

Because that is what defines a country’s strength.

Not the ability to give in and surrender, but to fight to the finish, and be the last one standing.

Or at least ensure the safety of its residents.

But in spirituality?

Maybe it couldn’t be more different!

The more one gives up and the more one surrenders to the higher power, the stronger the spiritual power within!

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Apple a day – part 2

More highlights today from an awesome Steve Jobs speech!

  • The concept that you can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only make sense of your life looking backwards, and the importance of trusting the journey.
  • The experience of being fired from Apple and how it led to a period of immense creativity and personal growth.
  • The founding of NeXT and Pixar after leaving Apple, and how these ventures contributed to Steve Jobs’ success and Apple’s renaissance.
  • The idea that sometimes life’s most difficult experiences can lead to the most significant personal and professional growth.

Concluded tomorrow!

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Apple a day – part 1

The famous Stanford commencement by Steve Jobs for some reason walked into my YouTube feeds just now. Key highlights from that evergreen lesson on how to live life!

  • Dropping out of college and trusting that things will work out okay can lead to valuable life experiences and learning opportunities.
  • The importance of following one’s curiosity and intuition, even if it doesn’t seem practical at the time, can lead to significant innovations later on.
  • The story of being put up for adoption and the promise made by the adoptive parents to send the child to college, setting the stage for Steve Jobs’ life.
  • The impact of attending a calligraphy class, which seemed irrelevant at the time but later influenced the design of the Macintosh computer.

Continued tomorrow!

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Undoing doership

Came across a super profound line today in a blog.

As we reflect on the everyday events and actions that we experience and ascribe ownership to, we realise that in almost all cases, our actions involve a thought, a call or an accidental meeting, over none of which we exercise control. Acknowledging this will, over time, help us reduce our entanglement with the sense of doership.

Was thinking about a good idea I had at work recently.

But where did the idea come from?

Really from me?

Why did it only occur then, and not one year ago? Or one year later?

How much control do we really have?

When we think from this perspective, undoing doership is not just easy but also obvious and absolutely necessary and mandatory.

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Silent revolution

I’ve always wondered about Vipassana retreats and Mauna Vrat. Maun, or silence, is the language of true worship, capturing Ashabda Brahmn, the soundless word. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says, “maunam chaiva’smi guhyanam” – Of secrets, I am also silence.

Practicing Maun Sadhana celebrates the Divine within. By closing our senses, silence fosters deep self-understanding. Figures like Buddha and Mahavir, who embraced silence, significantly contributed to global peace.

There are at least 4 types of silent practices (I learn new stuff every day!).

Maun Sadhana starts with Vak Mauna, silence of speech. Next is Chitta Mauna, silence of the mind, including Buddhi Mauna (intellect), Ahamkara Mauna (ego), and Iccha Mauna (desire). Indriya Mauna is the silence of the senses.

Incorporating Maun Sadhana daily, even briefly, is said to bring inner peace and strengthen our connection with the Divine.

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Medical herosim

A 90-year-old gynecologist who, despite her limited time left on the planet, was utterly dedicated to ensuring every baby she delivered was healthy. If that isn’t selflessness, then what is?

Similarly, an elderly oncologist, battling cancer himself, continues to work tirelessly to save his patients, embodying resilience. His commitment to his patients’ well-being, despite his personal struggles, speaks volumes about his character.

An aged cardiologist with a heart condition still oversees life-saving surgeries, reflecting true dedication. His unwavering focus on saving lives, even while managing his own health issues, highlights his exceptional commitment to medicine.

A retired pediatrician, despite suffering from arthritis, volunteers to care for sick children, showing profound compassion. Her willingness to endure physical pain to ensure the well-being of young patients illustrates a deep sense of empathy and love for her work.

Such amazing selflessness, I can only hope to have some day…

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Tough stuff?

I came across an interesting question on LinkedIn recently: “What was the best time in your life?”

Surprisingly, people recalled their toughest challenges, and not their most fun moments.

It seems we crave purpose and accomplishment.

Luxuries like exotic vacations and designer clothing undeniably fade away, but conquering challenges leaves lasting, cherished memories.

Yet then, why do we run away from the tough stuff?

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Leading with style

Intriguingly, even leadership styles can be compared to the three Gunas in Indian philosophy: Tamasik, Rajasik, and Sattvik.

Let’s start with Tamasik leadership. This passive, demotivating, and often egoistic style can create confusion and stifle progress. Leaders with this approach may struggle to inspire their teams, leading to a lack of direction and low morale.

Next, we have Rajasik leadership, which is transactional and driven by ambition and action. These leaders focus on goals and rewards, using clear structures and performance metrics. While this can boost productivity, it can also lead to stress and burnout if not balanced.

Finally, Sattvik leadership embodies transformative qualities. These leaders are wise, selfless, and aim for higher goals. They inspire and uplift their teams, fostering growth and harmony. Sattvik leaders create environments where everyone can thrive, balancing ambition with mindfulness.

By understanding these styles, leaders can strive to cultivate Sattvik qualities, promoting a more enlightened and effective approach to leadership.

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So sweet

At a recent social function, a cute little kid was ravenous. So much so that as soon as the dinner counters opened, she went straight for the ice cream.

The happiness on her little face was telling, while a few adults joked about beginning the course with dessert instead of appetizers.

But funnily enough, a post (link) I came across today mentioned that in Indian culinary/medical tradition aka Ayurveda, there is a set sequence of what types of food one must ingest.

No prizes for guessing, that “sweet” comes right up top! Apparently sweet foods are the easiest to break down and hence eating them first is best. If they are eaten last however, just like most “modern and sophisticated” people tend to do, they get stuck waiting in line for other harder-to-digest appetizers and main courses to digest. The sweet food hangs around for long and then turns toxic.

Quite interesting I’d say, and it’s probably worth starting with a sweet, just like the kid!

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Alert to praise

Be “alert to praise”! This was one of the key messages for success from my Guruji this Guru Purnima (today).

His message was not for spiritual success, but rather for the material successes that each one is craves so much.

How to get ahead in life? By getting along with people.

And how to get along with people? By making people like you.

And how to make people like you? By praising them of course!

If we can remain alert in all situations and find ways to praise others, we will win them over.

Doesn’t mean we need to deliver fake praise. But finding ways to genuinely praise others means we are automatically able to look at the best in others.

Win-win, if you ask me!

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Joy for others


When something good happens to us, like passing an exam or getting a promotion, we feel joy and spread happiness. But when others succeed while we fail, jealousy and anger take over, making us and those around us miserable. Why is it so hard to be happy for others?

It’s perhaps a matter of building our own qualities and self-esteem. Recognizing our worth reduces insecurity and makes it easier to be happy for others. This inner joy naturally extends to celebrating others’ successes.

Cultivating this joy begins with self-compassion and acknowledging our strengths. When we value ourselves, positive feelings emerge, making it easier to share in others’ happiness. This shift in perspective allows positivity to radiate.

So much so that letting go of negativity and constant criticism allows us to experience joy and wonder in our own lives.

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On the Mark

Here’s a nice speech of Mark Zuckerberg that I came across. Reproducing an excerpt verbatim:

Many people lament, Oh I don't know how to build a damn thing. I don't know how to get a million people involved in anything. I don't know this or that. 
Well, let me tell you a secret. No one does when they begin. Ideas don't come out fully formed. They only become clearer as you work on them. You just have to get started. If I had to know everything about connecting people before I got started, I never would have built Facebook.

Movies and pop culture just get this all wrong. The idea of a single Eureka moment is a dangerous lie. It makes us feel inadequate because we feel like we haven't had ours yet. And it prevents people with seeds of good ideas from ever getting started in the first place.

What is the takeaway then? To just get started.

On your mark, get set, go!

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The Real Change Agent

What is the real change agent?

Is it anxiety?

No, because anxiety cannot change the future, or present or past.

Is it regret?

No, because regret cannot change the past, nor present or future.

Is it gratitude?

Yes indeed, because gratitude can instantly transform the present. That in itself is a present!

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Mental notifications

We can think of our minds like a phone, constantly pinging us with notifications. Not every alert is important, but some require our immediate attention.

To manage this, we should first determine our purpose, just as we decide which phone notifications are vital. This helps us filter out distractions and focus on what truly matters.

By treating our thoughts like phone alerts, we can pick those that align with our goals. This keeps us productive and focused.

Ultimately, we control which mental notifications to prioritize, ensuring our attention is spent on what truly deserves it.

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So many Ambmany – part 2

While some can have the most ostentatious parties and weddings, is wealth truly easy to manage? Is it easy to have 100s and 1000s of friends and relationships and acquaintances? Back to “surface area” for a bit.

As Shane says, our friendships also add to our surface area. The more friends we have, the less time we can spend with each one.

Wealth expands our surface area too, as managing various assets and investments requires effort.

When our surface area grows too much, people hire other people to help. He says that assistants and property managers, for instance, can mask the expanding surface area by abstracting it. Despite having so much, and delegating work to so many, is there real peace?

As our surface area increases, so do our responsibilities and mental burdens. Most truly happy people tend to maintain a smaller surface area. They focus on fewer things, leading to less work and more satisfaction. It appears that keeping our surface area small is key to maximizing enjoyment and reducing stress.

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So many Ambmany – part 1

It feels like all of India and many parts of the world are/were keenly watching what might easily be the wedding of the decade.

So many families, so many friends, so many invitees, so many celebrities, so many planners, so many cooks, so many drivers, so many valets, so many pilots and jets, so many chefs, so many politicians, and the so-manys can go on and on and on.

In this context, Shane Parrish’s views on “surface area” are very interesting!

Shane’s rule, is that the larger our surface area, the more energy we have to expend maintaining it. Of course, when most of us think of surface area, we think of a the area of a solid or square of figure. But there is a surface area of life, and that is all-consuming.

If we have only one house (not a mansion or castle please!), we have a relatively small surface area to maintain. If we buy another one, our surface area expands. But it doesn’t expand linearly—it expands more than that. It’s all the same work plus more. There’s mental stress involved too of having to take care of multiple things.

What should we do then? Go the billionaire’s way? Concluded tomorrow!

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Inner tennis

Timothy Gallwey’s “The Inner Game of Tennis,” written by a renowned tennis coach, offers an interesting thought on learning, by silencing your internal critic.

They key principle?

Performance = Potential – Interference, where interference is your inner critic, whether it’s praising or criticizing yourself, both of which are unhelpful.

One key concept is the method of non-judgmental observation. By simply observing our actions without judgment, we create space for improvement. Visualize the desired outcome and trust our inner self to perform without the active interference of our critic.

The process involves observing changes and results without judgment and repeating these steps. This approach allows us to master necessary skills while letting our inner self take charge of the game.

Gallwey’s insights are not just for tennis but can be applied to various aspects of life, offering a means to enhance performance by quieting the inner critic.

This is similar to what our scriptures call saakshi-bhaav.

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Simplistic awesomeness

Someone remarked recently about the importance of ensuring a “good time” is considered for auspicious events.

The Sanskrit shloka “Tadeva lagnam sudhinam Tadeva…” effectively states that whatever time is chosen, if dedicated to God, automatically becomes good.

Another wise man also said, “Everyday is a good day, because if it is not, then God wouldn’t have created that day”

Can’t argue with that!

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Partner looks

“What is the one thing that you should look for while choosing your life partner?”, is the question posed by investing legend Warren Buffet in a speech given by him.

Brains?

Humor?

Character?

Beauty?

“None of these!”, he says

“The one character that you should look for is low expectations!”

That alone will ensure the most beautiful married life ever.

Mr. Buffet, oh what a legend!

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Attacher Detacher

The mind is an integral part of Maya, ensnaring us in its web of illusions. To find truth, we must go beyond it, a task that’s far from simple. Because our minds create attachments that seem inescapable.

Becoming a witness to our own minds helps. We learn to observe its patterns without getting caught up in them. This detachment isn’t about disinterest but about understanding the fleeting nature of thoughts.

Interestingly, the mind is adept at detaching as it naturally moves from one thought to another. Using this ability wisely can lead us to true liberation from its grip.

Mastering the mind involves embracing both its ability to attach and detach, steering it towards a balanced understanding of itself and the world around us.

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Poisonous nectar

Who doesn’t love nectar?

No one, unless it is poisoned of course!

There’s a lot of this in our lives.

Things that appear cool and awesome on the outside, at the start. But such very nectar will often lead to a massive downfall and disgrace.

Many things come easy, only to unveil their dark sides later on.

Conversely, the best things in life only come after significant struggle. The nectar follows the poison. This is explained in verses 37 and 38 of chapter 18 of the Gita.

Which would you choose?

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Senior citizens

Not the senior citizens we know generally, but the ones in offices. Not the seniors by age, but more by positions. The ones that call all the shots. The ones that are supposed to be leaders.

What is the one thing they are paid for? Not to know everything or solve every problem. But to simply make the right decision.

Decision making. That’s what they’re there for! But can they cut through the clutter and figure out the right decisions? Only if they stop talking!

When asked about his silence during meetings, Rockefeller often recited a poem:

A wise old owl lived in an oak,

The more he saw the less he spoke,

The less he spoke, the more he heard,

Why aren’t we all, like that old bird?

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Thisability!

In two varied situations recently, I came across 2 similar people.

The first was in a doctor’s clinic. While I was waiting for my turn, another elderly lady came in helped by her relative.

When she sat down in front of me, I realized that she was fully blind. And yet she had the widest smile on her face, as though everything in the world was just perfect.

The second situation was in a temple. It was super crowded that day, with a heavy dose of jostling and pushing. As I got closer to the sanctum sanctorum, I could see one muscular chap praying fervently. And then in the small crowd ahead of me, that person vanished instantaneously. Whoa, how’s that possible?!

A few seconds later, I saw him crawl past me, the Lord having given him just a torso, no legs, but also a supremely divine smile.

Did these people have a disability? By conventional metrics, most certainly. But this ability of smiling despite the odds stacked against them? If only this ability could be my superpower…

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Queen’s carriers

There’s a lovely analogy I came across narrated by renowned astrologer and sanskrit scholar PVR Narasimha Rao.

As I always say, a servant carrying queen's jewelry box & trash can are not really different - sincerity & humility define a good servant & not the value of which property of queen one carries!!
A famous scholar of Jyotisha/Vedanta & a street beggar are mere servants carrying different possessions of Mother. Not realizing that and taking pride of temporary possessions can make one bounce between many such transient realities, while fully realizing that can set one free.

None of what we own is ours. Except our egos!

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Cry baby

Babies cry all the time.

But do they only cry because they are hungry?

Nope. Sometimes they cry so they can be held. Sometimes they cry because they have gas in their little tummies. Sometimes they cry just for attention.

So not all crying is equal!

Our minds may be similar.

The mind often cribs and cries for various things.

Is everything the mind presents to us always urgent, important and necessary? Hardly. We would do well to use our own intelligence to separate what is critical from when the mind is just playing it’s tricks.

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Instantly gratified

There’s a brand new ad going around.

The scene shows a small boy, presumably aged 7 or 8, and he’s wailing, throwing tantrums and being nothing short of a brat.

Instead of being reprimanded, what do his parents do?

Use their mobile phones to place an order for an expensive toy that would be delivered in less than 10 minutes by a quick-commerce unicorn startup of course!

What sort of messaging is this? Most adults today are already suffering from the repercussions of instant gratification. Kids aren’t going to be left far behind at this rate…

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Rope me in

There’s this outstanding video I just saw, again, after a gap of several years.

It’s of a horse, that is being led around by its master.

But not led by its reins.

Because there is no rope!

The equestrian simply enacts putting on the rope around the horse’s neck. And the horse simply follows her around, not realizing there is no rope at all.

Is there such an invisible non-existent rope that is tied to our minds as well? What all is it stopping us from truly achieving?

Here’s the amazing video if you’d like to watch it yourself! Link

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How to judge a prayer?

In the 17th chapter of the Gita, Lord Krishna says that a person and his prayer can be judged by 3 key markers.

What are these?

1. The deity one worships. Is it a God, a demi God or a negative spirit?

2. The mode of worship. Is it a divine offering? Or something unseemly?

3. The motive of worship. Is it sattvik? For the betterment of society and the world? Or is it purely personal? Or worse, is it harmful?

That’s detailed judgment for us!

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The perfect hiding spot?

Legend has it that after creating the world, God wanted to see how people enjoyed his creation. Everyone he met praised the world but had a “but” and requested more. God realized that fulfilling one desire would just lead to another, like cutting off Ravana’s head in the Ramayana; another would appear.

So, God decided to hide. Knowing the human brain’s power, he sought the perfect hiding spot. After much thought, he hid within humans themselves, figuring that people take this place for granted as they’re always looking outward.

By hiding within, God ensured that only those who drop their worldly infatuations and calm their minds can find him. It’s a reminder that true connection with the divine comes from within, encouraging us to look inward for peace and fulfillment.

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Waking up tomorrow?

Here’s a superb short video I just watched.

The interviewer simply asks a young bloke on the street whether he’d accept 10 million dollars.

The guy obviously says “yes!”.

Then he’s told, the only catch, is that once the 10 million is deposited into his account, that would be his last day. He would not wake up the next day.

What does he respond with?

“No thank you, you can keep your money!”

What does this mean? Simply that waking up the following morning is far more precious than getting 10 million dollars. And yet we’re running after millions? What should we do then?

Simply be super happy and super grateful anytime we wake up, because that is worth more than tens of millions.

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Unspiritual redirection

In our daily lives, trust is much like faith on a spiritual path. Life’s imperfections can’t give us the true satisfaction found in perfection. Doing things without expecting returns cleans up our act and brings us closer to freedom. Perhaps because sacrifice is about giving ourselves up completely to God.

The scriptures praise household life for spiritual growth, but warn that we shouldn’t get lost in its pleasures and forget our duties. Rather, our very work should serve as a devotion to God.

Family life doesn’t block our path to God, but enhances it. We may just need to commit our actions to Him and accept life as He shapes it.

Real happiness comes from connecting deeply with God, not from material success.

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Dotted lines

Many of us push the thought of death far into the future, leaving us unprepared. Tim Urban’s “The Tail End” puts this into perspective, showing life visually through dots that represent years, months, weeks, or days.

Urban’s approach uses a sheet of paper dotted with these time markers. Imagine living to 80 years old; even if each dot represents a day, it fits neatly on an A4 sheet. This stark visualization underscores how finite our time truly is.

Seeing our lives represented this way can be eye-opening. Those dots symbolize all the time we have left to do everything we’ve dreamed of—visiting loved ones, mending relationships, and tackling long-delayed projects. It makes the fleeting nature of time all too real.

However, Vedic philosophy reminds us that life is a journey of the soul, transcending the physical. Each dot represents not just time, but opportunities for growth, love, and fulfillment. By embracing our dharma, or purpose, we can transform these moments into meaningful experiences, living with joy and wisdom.

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Shhhh

I came across an interesting anecdote recently. At a school, research students’ cubicles were removed to encourage talking and idea exchange. This highlights the importance of verbal communication in fostering creativity.

However, in daily life, face-to-face conversations are dwindling as people are engrossed in their mobile phones. A prominent US doctor notes that our social muscles weaken without use, similar to physical muscles.

The decline in verbal interaction can impact brain function and lead to memory loss, especially in the elderly. Young people may also feel isolated due to excessive screen time, missing real-world interactions.

For those on the spiritual path, satsangs offer a way to connect with like-minded individuals. Realized sages say there is no loneliness when connected to the Divine, living a life of selfless service, and staying active in the community.

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Anti porti

What’s common to the companies below?

Airbnb, Apple, Atlassian, Coinbase, eBay, Facebook, FedEx, Google, Intel, Intuit, KAYAK, Okta, PayPal, Snapchat, Tesla, Zoom.

All awesome companies, having made 1000x or more maybe for early investors.

Yes, but that’s not the only thing that’s common.

A cooler common thread is that these all are part of one of the world’s best venture capital firm – Bessemer.

This is what they call their Anti-Portfolio.

Their compilation of worst mistakes or rather misses, that have gone on to become incredible multi-baggers. If the best can show off their weaknesses, then why not me? (maybe because that’s all I have?!!)

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Transformative living – part 4

Shivani Didi shared another profound insight about the importance of determination. She recounted the story of a mother who refused to accept a negative prognosis for her child. Despite medical advice, she nurtured her child with unwavering positive thoughts and actions.

This mother’s dedication exemplifies how present karma can override past negativity. Her child’s eventual success as an international athlete underscores the transformative power of consistent positive thinking.

Additionally, Shivani Didi emphasized the power of creating a thought and holding onto it. This practice, known as “Sankalp se Siddhi,” means realization through resolution. By firmly believing in our goals, we can manifest them into reality.

The key takeaway is to focus on what we want to see in our lives. Visualize our success and affirm our goals as if they have already happened. This shift in mindset, combined with persistent positive actions, can lead to remarkable transformations in our lives.

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Transformative living – part 3

Shivani Didi’s analogy of throwing balls also highlights the importance of consistency. Every positive ball we throw contributes to building a positive reality. It’s not just a one-time effort but a continuous practice.

She emphasized the power of our thoughts. When we replace “I wish” with “I am,” we align our mindset with our goals. This affirmation reinforces our belief in our abilities and attracts positive outcomes.

The sour curd metaphor reminds us that our past does not have to dictate our present or future. By consciously setting fresh, positive intentions daily, we can change the trajectory of our lives.

Consider your mind as a powerful magnet. It attracts what you think about most. By focusing on positive outcomes and affirming your success, you draw those very things into your life.

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Transformative living – part 2

In Shivani Didi’s video, another powerful insight was the concept of karma. Past karma is undoubtedly powerful, but our present karma is exponentially more influential. By consciously choosing positive thoughts and actions, we can override past negativity.

Our thoughts create our reality. Instead of saying, “I wish” or “I hope,” we should affirm, “I already am.” This shift in mindset helps us attract what we desire by believing it has already happened.

The first benefit of throwing positive balls is that all negative balls stop coming back to us. This immediate reduction in negativity paves the way for a more positive and fulfilling life.

As Shivani Didi mentioned, imagine your life as a field where you plant seeds. If you plant seeds of doubt and fear, that’s what will grow. But if you plant seeds of confidence and positivity, you’ll cultivate a garden of success and happiness.

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Transformative living – part 1

I recently watched a video by Shivani Didi from Brahma Kumaris, and the takeaways were incredibly powerful. This blog post is inspired by her profound insights, which can help us lead more fulfilling lives.

One key lesson is to never live like a victim. Our past karma may influence our current circumstances, but we must remember that our present karma holds much more power. By focusing on positive actions and thoughts today, we can shape a better future.

Imagine life as throwing balls into the universe. What happens when we throw balls at a wall? They bounce back, right? The balls we throw, whether positive or negative, come back to us. If we consistently throw positive balls, we’ll receive positivity in return.

Shivani Didi used a metaphor of setting curd. If we use sour curd from the previous day, today’s curd will also be sour. Instead, we should set fresh, sweet curd by changing our thoughts and actions today.

Continued tomorrow…

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Match pointers

Continuing from yesterday’s insights on Roger Federer’s speech at Dartmouth College, here are more valuable lessons he shared.

Federer pointed out that performing well when you’re energetic and focused is easy. The real challenge comes when you’re exhausted and distracted. True champions excel in these tough moments, showing resilience that ensures long-term success.

He also mentioned that he won  80% of his matches but just 54% of his points. It’s not about winning every point; it’s about learning from losses and growing stronger through mistakes.

Lastly, Federer emphasized that life goes beyond achievements and wealth. It’s about finding joy, using your influence for good, cherishing time with loved ones, and staying true to yourself. Don’t let our happiness be dictated by external success.

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The two most crucial talents

Champion tennis player Roger Federer recently gave a speech at Dartmouth College.

He spoke about a bunch of things.

But the one that caught my attention the most was his take on talent.

Did he say that talent is something that is God given, and at birth?

He didn’t mention it that way specifically, but of course, if we have some inborn talent, that’s obviously a plus.

But he spoke of two supreme talents that rule them all.

What could these talents be? Playing the ukulele? Singing 4 octaves? Dancing like Presley?

Nope, far more boring, yet far harder to truly claim as one’s talents.

1. Discipline

2. Patience

Incredible, isn’t it?!

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Mutual Success

In the book “How to Succeed with People,” a profound statement captures the essence of interpersonal success: focus on meeting others’ needs rather than your own.

This philosophy pivots on the idea that true success comes from mutual benefit.

When we prioritize the needs of others, we cultivate a spirit of generosity and empathy. This approach not only builds trust but also establishes lasting relationships that are foundational to personal and professional growth.

By shifting our mindset from self-centered goals to a more inclusive perspective, we pave the way for a more fulfilling and successful journey. After all, when we help others grow, we grow in return.

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Trimental

Here’s an interesting take I came across on us having 3 minds.

They are: the carrying mind, the universal mind, and the joyful mind. The carrying mind is tied to daily struggles, full of conflicts and desires. It’s what we use to navigate our material world.

The universal mind goes beyond duality, embodying peace and oneness. It is compassionate and serene, focusing on harmony rather than conflict.

The joyful mind emerges when we are filled with compassion, experiencing a state of continuous joy. This mind is the essence of true happiness and peace.

Our task is to understand the carrying mind and elevate it to the universal and joyful states. This transformation brings inner peace and lasting joy.

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Canda Munda Sumbha Nisumbha

In the Durga Saptashati’s third part, we come across names like the title above. What are these? There are 2 demons, Sumbha and Nisumbha. But as we know in Hinduism, there’s always a much deeper meaning to everything.

Sumbha represents Asmita, the false self tied to the ego, while Nisumbha embodies Mamata, the attachment to possessions reinforcing this pseudo-self. Their generals include Canda, the extroverted psychic energy, Munda, the introverted psychic energy, Dhumralochana, distorted perception, and Raktabija, incessant compulsive thoughts.

Together, these forces create a formidable challenge. Overcoming them requires a luminous, benevolent, and beautiful manifestation. This is where Maha Sarasvati’s power comes in.

Predominated by Sattva, Maha Sarasvati brings the pure, harmonious energy needed to dispel these inner demons. Her divine presence enlightens and liberates, guiding us away from the clutches of our false selves.

The 700 shlokas of the Durga Saptashati are absolutely incredible!

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P. Stain

Yes, you read that right. But not P. Stain, but pee stained.

What?

Pee-stained jeans, to be specific.

“Eww and yucky” as any second-grader would burst out!

But someone has really come up with the idea of jeans that have dark patches in the crotch area, to depict pee stains.

Being a fashion statement, the jeans aren’t available for cheap (think tens of thousands of dollars!).

And apparently there’s plenty of demand for these jeans, because various influencers and social media elite would want to show them off in the hope of gaining even more attention.

How I wish P was for peace instead of pees!

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Climate crossroads

What happens when rising sea levels and toxic environments threaten our way of life? Some people argue we should enjoy life while we can, facing the reality of our planet’s decline with a sense of fatalism. Others believe in drastic lifestyle changes to combat the effects of climate change and perhaps even reverse some of the damage.

A middle path, inspired by the wisdom of the Bhagwad Gita, suggests maintaining balance in all situations. This approach emphasizes recognizing our role in creating these problems and finding ways to live with and adapt to the changes already affecting us.

Small individual actions, when pooled together, can influence broader changes and shape policies. This collective effort is essential as it shows that everyone, from single individuals to large corporations, has a part to play in environmental stewardship.

By understanding and accepting our impact on the environment, we can make informed decisions that contribute to a sustainable future. Learning from nature’s resilience, like the adaptable octopuses or migratory fish, we too can develop strategies to survive and thrive in a changing world, embracing proactive and sustainable actions.

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Relaxed agitation

In an exercise session, the trainer was getting the class to work up a sweat.

Walk!

Faster!

Jog!

Run!

100 skips!

Run!

The commands came quick and fast. And it became harder and harder for everyone to keep up.

Finally it was time to cool down. Everyone was laying on the floor. And the trainer asked everyone to relax.

Easy? So far so good.

And then he asked everyone to still their minds.

Easy? Impossible almost! Would have been easier to run another 10 rounds.

It feels many times like idling and doing nothing is easy. But not only is it detrimental to success, but also quite a tough path in itself!

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Watchitate meditate

Here’s a delightful story I came across recently about a Zen disciple struggling with meditation. He approached his master, lamenting his inability to concentrate, his thoughts scattering like leaves in the wind. The wise master pointed towards children playing and suggested, “Join them, or at least watch. Don’t strain yourself to meditate.”

Taking this advice to heart, the disciple sat observing the children at play. Amidst their laughter and carefree antics, he found his heart swelling with joy, slipping almost magically into a state of deep reflection.

The master’s lesson was clear: Enlightenment doesn’t require solitude or withdrawal from society. “Immerse yourself in the everyday and let enlightenment find you,” he advised.

This reminds us that sometimes, in the quest for profound truths, the simplest joys can illuminate the path to inner peace. Just as we needn’t chase every fleeting thought, we needn’t chase enlightenment—it unfolds in its own, often unexpected, time.

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Time lagega sir…

This is part of common parlance in India, and means that “it will take time”. And Indians are habituated to wait patiently in long queues for various services.

All good, but of course faster the better, if possible.

I remember during my childhood, going to restaurants and the waiter saying, “time lagega sir” to the adults, which would mean it would take say 30 mins to heat up their oven, prepare the ingredients and work up their magic.

In many recent visits to restaurants all over however, the waiting time has reduced materially, and the waiters still say, “time lagega sir” for a specific dish.

And when you ask how much time, they say 5 to 10 minutes sir.

That’s it! Just 5 to 10 mins. And still their manner of expressing this suggests that people don’t even have 5 to 10 minutes of patience. Instant gratification to a whole new level!

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Desire Management 404

While desire management could be an endless course offered in any Ivy League university, we’ll leave it at 404 this time around.

404 is the famous error we see when we type a URL in our browsers but find out that the page doesn’t exist.

So desire management 404, in a similar vein, points to a state where desires cease to exist. It’s the ultimate goal in taking care of desires, because the link between our desires and the purported happiness they bring is completely severed.

But in order to get there, apart from 101, 202 and 303, we can also consider converting our desires to preferences.

No tea? No worries, coffee will do. No coffee, okay then some milk please. No milk? Then some hot water is fine too. When desires are only preferences, they will never transform into anger or greed.

All the best to us. , with managing our desires!

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Desire Management 303

Just as we know most things can be satvik, rajasic or tamasic, the same extends to desires as well (no surprise there!).

If we want to do something to hurt someone else, that desire would be tamasic.

Like say if I want to earn a lot of money, simply to put someone else down, or rub it in their face.

If our desires are for ourselves, like we want to earn money so that our immediate family lives a comfy life, then that would be an example of a rajasic desire.

And if the desire is so noble that the intention is either for the benefit of society at large or one’s own spiritual progress, that would be a satvik desire.

Desire Management 404, concluded tomorrow!

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Desire Management 202

The key to desire management is to run our desires through a 3-filter test.

How does this test work?

It’s simple.

First, we need to check whether the desire is a dharmic one.

Is it a rule-breaker? Is it against the law? Is it in line with what the scriptures would say? Does it destabilize or hurt anyone or anything around us?

Second, is it moderate?

Or over the top? Extremes are usually to be avoided.

Third, does it have a spiritual angle?

So that’s the 3-filter test for desires. Pretty awesome, no?

Continued tomorrow, with desire management 303!

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Desire Management 101

Here’s some wonderful notes on managing desires that was discussed recently in our satsang.

Firstly, can we completely get rid of desires?

Nope, because then we couldn’t even get out of bed.

So what can we do then?

We manage our desires of course, we take care of our desires, rather than just pretending to give them up altogether.

Interestingly Lord Krishna in the Gita says that there are 3 really bad qualities – desires, anger and greed. And even amongst these, the worst is desires, because that somewhat leads to the other two!

Continued tomorrow…

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Right attention

Does one get attention by being right? Or by being wrong?

It seems like a silly question.

Of course if someone does things right, then they should shine through and bring out the best in others.

In a recent live YouTube video I was watching, the speaker was asking people to comment if they liked the session, or if they had specific questions to discuss etc.

But there was hardly any response at all. Despite there being thousands of live viewers!

And then the speaker suddenly had a slip of tongue. He said “today is Wednesday”, instead of saying “today is Tuesday”.

And boom! The number of comments to correct the speaker just didn’t stop!

So is being right better, or being wrong? Go figure…

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prAIyer

AI is the bane of all humanity, or rather of working humans. Because all our jobs are going to be replaced, and eventually we ourselves.

But is that really true?

Nope. However, a human being’s effort catalyzed by AI is an unbeatable combination. And that’s what upskilling is crucial for.

Similarly, prayers alone may not work, if there is no effort from humans.

But prayers catalyzing human endeavor? That is where the real magic happens!

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Feary Nope

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear emphasizes the importance of asking for what we want. Being direct and specific often encourages others to lend a hand, opening up surprising opportunities.

However, Clear also advises managing our expectations. Everyone has their priorities, and our requests may not always align with them.

Receiving a ‘no’ should be taken in stride, without disappointment. This mindset helps us maintain positive relationships and resilience.

Thus, let’s practice asking with courage while accepting responses with grace, keeping ourselves open to the multitude of possibilities life offers.

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SCA

In Indic philosophy, bliss, or anand, is a core attribute of Brahmn, the ultimate reality, and represents the highest state of existence. The Upanishads describe anand as one of Brahmn’s essential attributes, along with sat (existence) and chit (consciousness), forming Sat-Chit-Anand.

Such bliss arises from simply existing.

Achieving perpetual bliss means appreciating life as it is, despite our feelings of unworthiness and thinking future achievements will make us more deserving.

Spiritually, bliss is unconditional and available to all of us by simply existing. Our true selves are inherently blissful.

To cultivate bliss, we start with acceptance, self-love, gratitude, and living with purpose. Bliss then transcends life’s ups and downs.

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Late to the party

Why do we struggle to focus on the Divine? We live between two worlds: the tangible one we interact with daily and the spiritual realm of the Divine.

Our experiences in the physical world often bring more sorrow than joy, yet it remains our focus. Despite the wisdom about the spiritual realm, our minds are drawn to the immediate and the visible.

Escaping this material attraction requires significant effort. Many seekers lose hope quickly as spiritual growth is slow.

While the physical world offers quick gratification, its long-term effects can be damaging. The spiritual path, though demanding, leads to deep and lasting fulfillment.

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3 algos

Came across an interesting article on 3 algorithms for bliss.

What is needed for true bliss?

To get rid of our problems of course.

But getting rid of problems is impossible in life.

Instead of getting rid of them, maybe we can learn to deal with them instead? How?

The 3 algos might help:

1. Let it go.

2. This too shall pass.

3. How does it matter.

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Success and ladders

Came across a nice 2-liner today:

Failure isn’t the opposite of success.

Rather, failure is the rungs on the ladder of success.

As long as we keep moving upwards, from one rung to the next, then we’re always successful.

Failure is only when we get off the ladder!

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Divine energy?

Irrespective of political ideology, how does one get so much energy that the person can do:

– 200 rallies
– 25 Roadshows
– 80 interviews
– 200 flights
– 100,000 Kms of travel
– Over 200 hours of speech

All in just 2 months.

And at the age of 74 years.

I’m getting tired just writing this…

How to tap such divine energy?

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Don’t tell you

Wise people don’t tell you they are wise.

Humble people don’t tell you they are humble.

Influential people don’t tell you they are influential.

Wealthy people don’t tell you they are wealthy.

Famous people don’t tell you they are famous.

Powerful people don’t tell you they are powerful.

And what of all the guys that just don’t stop telling…

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Blue shepherding

There’s a cool blue Netflix documentary called Living in the Blue Zones.

These blue zones are nothing but small pockets of human inhabitants, strewn across the world, and that for some strange reason, consistently manage to have their folks live well past 100!

How do these happy and healthy centerenians do it? You’ll have to watch the documentary for the real dope, but there was one amazing example on stress.

In Sardinia, which is one of the blue zones, the men would be shepherds most day. How much anxiety do they have? Very little, unless one or two sheep get away and stray a bit far!

But in who’s control is that? The shepherd’s of course! And hence if something bad is controllable, then the stress from it is minuscule.

But what of the stress that plagues us nowadays? Hmm, worth thinking about…

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Double negatives

We’ve all heard the saying, “No pain, no gain.” This timeless wisdom reminds us that growth often comes from pushing through discomfort. Similarly, “No pressure, no diamond” teaches us that great beauty and value are often forged under intense conditions.

“No rain, no flowers” speaks to the necessity of challenges in nurturing beauty and resilience. “No grit, no pearl” just as an oyster turns a grain of sand into a pearl, we transform our struggles into strengths.

“No mud, no lotus” reminds us that beautiful things can emerge from difficult circumstances. “No exertion, no strength” highlights that our challenges build our resilience.

“No friction, no fire” points out that a little resistance can spark greatness. Lastly, “No battle, no victory” captures the essence of fighting through obstacles to achieve success.

These sayings remind us that adversity is a catalyst for transformation. By embracing challenges, we unlock our potential and discover new strengths.

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Rectangular focus

In a recent yoga session, the teacher asked everyone to count all the rectangles and squares that they could see in the room.

For 20 seconds.

Get set, go!

How many did they count?

Some said 30, some 40, some 50.

And then the teacher asked everyone to count again. 20 seconds, get set, go!

The numbers were slightly higher this time. Not that it mattered.

But his next question was the clincher. Did anyone count any circles? Did anyone even notice any circles?

The squares and rectangles should be like the positive thoughts and things in our life. Our minds can focus on what we ask it to focus on!

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2 shlokas only – part 2 of 2

The 2nd shloka from yesterday was Sa tu dirgha kala nairantarya satkara sevito drudha bhumihi.

What does this mean?

Sathu dheerga kaale is for a very long time;

Sathkaarya sevita is with honor and reverence (ie, the attitude with which the exercises need to be performed)

Nairantarya is day after day, regularly, no misses

Dhridabhoomi is that it then gets firmly established.

How cool no? So relevant for yoga, and for anything else in life that is worth having. We just need to keep at it!

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2 shlokas only – part 1 of 2

A young and famous and awesome yoga teacher on YouTube summarized the key takeaways of yoga in just 2 shlokas.

1. Atha Yoga Anushasanam

2. Sa tu dirgha kala nairantarya satkara sevito drudha bhumihi

What does the first one mean?

Atha means now, and yoga is yoga. Yes, the exercise variety, not the deeper esoteric union meaning. But it could be that as well, because everything in spirituality has multiple meanings.

And anushasanam is discipline. So yoga comes to those with discipline. Yoga itself is discipline. And Atha or now could be anytime that we wish to begin. It’s never too late. Movement for the body, and no-movement for the mind, are the panacea for a happy life.

Shloka 2 tomorrow… Stay tuned!

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Nothing to be done

What is there to be truly done?

In the world that we live, no matter what we do, nothing is enough.

From a spiritual point of view though, we are told to strive for nothingness.

The nothing that has created everything, but is yet nothing.

How to understand this? Is it ever possible to demystify?

The sages say the truth is entirely experiential.

Sit and meditate. But even in that meditation, we cannot try to meditate. We cannot try to rid ourselves of our emotions. Of our mind’s thoughts. Of the various ideas that keep popping up. Nothingness, it is said, comes from acceptance of everything. Not from trying, but from trying not to.

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Feeling insulted

Insults evoke feelings of hurt and indignation, but it’s worth questioning whether these words themselves are harmful or if it’s our interpretation that imbues them with power. Often, insults are born from another’s frustration or insecurities, highlighting that our reaction is what truly defines their impact.

We deeply value others’ opinions, allowing both criticisms and compliments to mold our self-image. Yet, should this influence be so profound? Words are simply vessels; it’s the meanings we attach that stir our emotions.

Feeling insulted stems from unmet expectations of respect. By adopting a mindset of resilience and reducing these expectations, we shield ourselves effectively.

Ultimately, mastering self-respect and confidence ensures no insult can diminish us. By reshaping our perspective, we navigate social interactions with grace and untouchable poise.

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Spiritureality

What is spirituality really?

It’s become cool to say one is spiritual.

But what does this mean?

Is spiritual lifestyle a real thing?

Is it about going to a particular place, like a spiritual retreat or resort? There’s so many of those nowadays.

Or is it about applying scriptural knowledge to one’s profession? Or trying to use ancient wisdom to deal with family, friends and colleagues better?

Perhaps it is none of these.

True spirituality is simply about finding ourselves. The real us.

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Broken leather hearts

The recent opening of an ultra-luxury brand’s second store in a bustling city highlights a curious facet of first-world problems: the exclusivity-induced heartbreak of not receiving an invite to a high-profile event.

While apparently some longstanding customers with hefty spending habits were absent from the guest list, creating a buzz of “broken hearts,” it’s a stark reminder of the privileged nature of such woes.

In contrast, many people with far less—who face challenges that extend beyond social invitations—often exhibit remarkable happiness and contentment.

This situation underscores the importance of gratitude and perspective, recognizing that true fulfillment often lies beyond material or social accolades.

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50Bs 50Gs

A super successful professional recently recounted his route to success in LinkedIn.

Did he have it easy? Not at all.

Did he fail repeatedly along the way? Many times.

But what was his takeaway and what kept him going?

The 50B-50G attitude.

That 50% of our days will be Bad. And 50% will be Good.

On the good days, we soak it in.

On the bad days, we clench our teeth and keep going, because that’s what will cause the next good days to come.

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Ironic living

Today, I came across a lovely shloka that beautifully encapsulates the human condition:

Jananam Sukhadam Maranam Karunam
Milanam Madhuram Smaranam Karunam
Kalavashadiha Sakalam Karunam
Samyadhipateh Akhilam Karunam

Birth is joy, witnessed in the radiant smiles of newborns, and death, curiously enough, brings compassion—freeing us from the eternal burden of existence. Imagine being penalized for not “living well enough”!

This chant poignantly sketches our journey: a collage of sweet encounters and fleeting moments, all under the relentless tick of time. It’s a humorous nudge that while we meticulously plan and worry, we edge ever closer to the finale. If we could all truly grasp our ephemeral nature, wouldn’t our choices paint a world vibrant with only what truly matters?

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Aghori stuff

Was watching an interview recently where someone was questioning the beliefs of aghoris.

Like why do they do all the stuff that is generally prohibited in normal life?

Some of the unconventional rituals include dwelling in cremation grounds, smearing ashes on their bodies, using human skulls as utensils, and eating flesh from human corpses. Surely not for the faint of heart.

And there’s many that criticize such true aghoris. And “true” aghoris because there are many frauds too, apparently.

In any case, the interviewee provided an endearing point of view. He said true aghoris are full of karuna, or compassion.

That’s quite a lovely thought, isn’t it? Unless they are overcome by said karuna / compassion for creation as a whole, and are devoid of judgements like “this is good, and that is bad”, how else can they practise such rituals?

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Poser

Who doesn’t love a good pose?! Yes fine, the ones that go onto Instagram and Facebook.

But not just those poses for photography. But poses for improving life’s graph itself!

Which pose would that be? A yoga pose of course!

But even with yoga, if one can’t contort oneself to the extent a master can, does that become less impactiful?

And what is a pose, or an asana in yoga?

By definition, it would be Sthira sukha asana, which means sthira = steady, sukha = happiness, so an asana would need to not just be held steady (sthira), but also require that the yogi will need to maintain a happy composure (sukha).

The flip side is the clincher though. Because it implies that every steady and happy pose is automatically an asana, so body contortion may not be necessary!

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Imposter again

Some interesting points from another post on the much discussed imposter syndrome.

Apparently McKinsey’s “Dealing with Impostor Syndrome” live learning module is offered quarterly and always has a long waitlist. It turns out that even some of the most brilliant minds, who have faced incredible challenges and succeeded in highly competitive academic and professional spheres, still doubt their own abilities.

So, what’s the solution to this persistent issue?

LeBron James revealed on a podcast, that he watches highlights of his best performances to regain his confidence whenever he experiences a slump.

If someone as accomplished as LeBron James can feel inadequate, despite reaching the summit of professional basketball, then I must certainly manage my own doubts!

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Others don’t, so why should I?

Most people don’t know a thing about dharma. Even if they do, they don’t understand it. Even if they do, they don’t live it.

So a natural question that occurs is that if others don’t follow dharma, then why should I?

Three key reasons:

1. It’s incorrect to conclude that others don’t follow dharma. We honestly have no clue what motivates others to do what they do.

2. There’s plenty of research now that shows that nice guys finish first, and not last. When we do good things, then people remember us for our generosity, empathy, integrity and righteousness – all great for long term success.

3. We must follow dharma for our own spiritual progress and spiritual peace.

Any others? Please share in the comments!

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Endless boundless

In chapter 16 of the Gita, Krishna mentions “chintam pralayantam” to describe an asuric mindset.

Seems like he’s describing my mindset though!

What does it mean?

Nothing but endless worries. That the mind is constantly worried, leading to stress and anxiety.

We say that life being unpredictable is what leads to stress.

But it’s not unpredictability itself, but the fact that we allow the lack of certainty to impact our happiness.

As my Guru often says, living in uncertainty alone is spirituality.

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Nocebo

The nocebo effect. I swear it’s a thing. You think I’ve got it wrong? It should be placebo? Well yes, placebo effect, but did you know there’s a nocebo effect too? I’m not kidding, and even I found out just now!

What is it? Nothing much… Just the placebo effect, but in reverse.

If someone takes a pill that is a dummy, and is cured, that’s the power of positive thinking?

Likewise, if someone takes a dummy pill, but is scared of the side effects (having read about them somewhere), then and then ends up suffering the side effects… That’s nocebo!

Imagine then, the power of negative thoughts on us!

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Persimmonious

Persimmons are super sweet on the inside. But the skin isn’t that easy to peel off.

In possibly the newest and most popular K-drama show of all time, Queen of Tears, one discussion on persimmons is food for thought.

Specifically, the fellow who just plucks some of the fruits, and then explains to another man, how this batch of fruit isn’t sweet at all.

But what is to be done?

Simple, just soak the fruit in bitter soju, which is an alcoholic beverage made from rice, and wrap it tightly in a cloth. Leave it overnight, and the fruit turns sweet!

Much like life itself, as the man notes. Life gives many bitter experiences, but if we soak ourselves in them and endure them, it’ll lead to success and sweetness eventually.

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Medal for Renaissance – part 2

We discussed the hedge fund genius Jim Simmons here yesterday.

You know how his fund became so profitable?

Because he was able to predict human nature.

He knew that whenever crises would strike, the same basic human instances would come to the fore – fear, greed and desire.

Is this rocket science? Does it sound predictable? Of course!

Jim was able to create sophisticated quant models and systems to extract alpha from such situations.

Interestingly, if we want to extract alpha from life, we can predict the same things too, in ourselves, and in others. And everything’s already predicted in our scriptures. We just need to read them!

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Medal for Renaissance

Jim Simmons, one of the greatest hedge fund investors of all time, passed away yesterday, at the age of 86.

He compounded returns for clients in his Renaissance Medalion fund at a ridiculous 66% per annum for over 30 years.

To compare, Mr Warren Buffet’s own returns compounded at somewhere between 20 and 25%.

What did Mr. Simmons say about his own life story?

"I did a lot of math. I made a lot of money, and I gave almost all of it away. That's the story of my life".

Isn’t that just an outstanding way to live? Work, earn and pass it on.

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Smiley smiley

Here’s a thought for today that I came across:

Life is not about having or achieving. It is about being and becoming!

Isn’t that just awesome?

Now how to live such an awesome life?

The first step would be to simply smile or laugh, and just enjoy the current moment.

We’ll realize that is actually not so simple to do! Because there’s so much other stuff that needs to get done, right?

Well, as a great man once said, smiling and laughter are not situations. They are decisions.

You know what we must decide to do now…

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Bookkeeping

Bookkeeping refers to maintaining one’s books of accounts.

But recently on social media, there’s a bunch of motivators and self(proclaimed)-help Gurus that does another type of bookkeeping. Which is keeping their books front and center for everyone to see and advocating reading books like there’s no tomorrow.

“I read a book a week”, says one. And a peer comments instantly, “I read two!”

“I’ve read 120 books this year!”, says another, while yet another claims to have read 2500 books in his lifetime. Phew.

It might seem like there’s no place for success in our lives unless we read 1000s of books.

If someone’s really read a 1000+ books, then they should have read about humility somewhere you’d think?

As my Guru always says, it doesn’t matter how many books you read, if you don’t implement anything from them to bring a positive change to the lives of those around us.

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Religiosity Animigion

Funny things happen around us all the time.

People love God, but they hate one another.

In the name of religion, people hate followers of other religions, but what about loving everyone? What about peace?

What really is holiness and piousness?

Are they linked to religion?

Absolutely not!

Being holy and pious is part of our innate nature. But the deluded think otherwise, and ruin their lives, and the lives of others around them.

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Axe or sword?

There’s a debate among spiritual seekers, especially on the tantric path, as to whether certain rituals, excessive as they may seem, are truly necessary.

The relatively straightforward ritual path, called dakshinachar is itself not easy to follow.

But the left hand, or vamachar, is ridiculously difficult (and also what catches most people’s imaginations).

One tantric expert explained it nicely.

The left hand is like taking an expressway. Tantric deities hence have swords in their hands, because they can cut off all attachment at once.

Whereas the right hand path is slower, but perhaps more suited to most. These deities may wield axes, symbolizing that the tree of attachment needs to be cut, but maybe one blow at a time.

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It’s all about the money funny

Here’s some super stuff from the legendary Osho, on money:

  • Money is equated with power and is a common focus for most people.
  • Even those considering spiritual or otherworldly pursuits view their virtues as a form of currency that can “purchase” a better status in the afterlife.
  • Both worldly wealth and spiritual “wealth” are motivated by similar desires for security and a better position, either on earth or in heaven.
  • Money serves as a future security; people accumulate it to feel secure about their future.
  • The preoccupation with money only diminishes when one begins to live fully in the present, stepping away from concerns about the future.
  • Ultimately, money, whether in literal or metaphorical terms, symbolizes power, and this underlying quest for power is pervasive across different realms of thought.
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Enjoy meant

What is enjoyment really about?

Happiness?

Does enjoyment truly lead to happiness? Maybe temporarily, but permanently?

As Swami Chinmayananda says, wrong understanding of freedom leads to licentiousness. Which means that one has no self-control whatsoever.

Very soon, the diminishing marginal utility principle starts working, and the 5th scoop of ice cream and the 10th scoop have the same limited value to someone with a massive sweet tooth (like me!).

True freedom isn’t simply letting the mind and body do whatever they want. Rather true freedom, is keeping the mind and body under “our” control.

But who are we, if not the mind and body? Hmm…

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Dumbest ever AI

AI or Artificial Intelligence is just extraordinary.

Anyone who’s used chatGPT for only a few minutes even, will agree.

Whatever it does, and in the micro/nanoseconds it does it, is simply unfathomable to the human mind.

Just how can it understand anything and everything we prompt, and then create an answer or even an image (video too soon, it seems), and then format it, and send it back, in just the blink of an eye?

Almost impossible we’d have thought 2 years ago, before it was publicly revealed.

But chatGPT creator Sam Altman went on record yesterday to say that “chatGPT will soon be remembered as the dumbest AI ever used by man.”

Holy moly to whatever is coming up next. But importantly, there’s no place for ego in life. Even the best of yesterday is not good enough today. Not in human life, not in AI life.

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Waiting prayer

Prayers are a vital link to the divine, at the heart of spiritual devotion across religions, each with its own rituals. We often wait eagerly for answers after praying, but the Divine communicates in unpredictable ways, unlike showing His/Her immediate physical presence in movies like “Oh My God” and “Bruce Almighty.”

  • We seek strength, and instead, maybe rewarded with challenges that make us stronger.
  • We hope for prosperity, and are reminded to use our skills and effort.
  • We ask for courage, and encounter situations that reveal our deepest fears, that can only be overcome by inner strength.
  • We wish for divine love, and find opportunities to help those in distress, serving the divine through our actions.

Patience and awareness are essential. The divine doesn’t make grand gestures like in movies but subtly shows us paths to answer our prayers. We must recognize and seize these opportunities, maintaining our faith.

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4 muktis

So apparently there are 4 types of muktis or liberations (never a dull day in spirituality, always something new to learn!).

  1. Salokya Mukti – Residing in the same realm as the deity, contingent on the merits earned through spiritual practices like chanting. This state is temporary, with individuals returning to life’s cycle once merits are exhausted.
  2. Samipya Mukti – Achieving closeness to the deity, akin to a servant-master relationship, leading to enlightenment through divine service.
  3. Swarupya Mukti – Adopting a form similar to the divine, specifically reflecting aspects of the Divine Feminine such as Lalita Tripusundari or Bagalamukhi from the ten Mahavidya pantheon.
  4. Sayujjya Mukti – The ultimate union, merging entirely with Ishwar (God), transcending all distinctions between worshipper and worshipped. This profound state can be achieved in higher states of consciousness accessible through advanced spiritual practices.

These muktis represent stages on the path to spiritual fulfillment and the eventual dissolution into divine oneness.

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Root fruit

There’s a nice video doing the rounds on social media. It’s called the Root vs Fruit system.

The essence is a comparison of the two systems that work inside of a tree.

One is called Gravitropic, where the roots of the tree grow towards gravity. It’s dark and damp, and it takes plenty of effort to grow into the ground.

But it is 100% required. Because without the roots, the trunk and branches and leaves and fruits wouldn’t even exist.

Speaking of fruits, the other part is called Phototropic, which is the part of the tree that grows towards sunlight. And eventually leads to the blossoming of flowers and their fruits.

Life is like that, isn’t it? One needs to hunker down and do the hard work in the darkness and dampness. And only then would one really be able to shine in the light.

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Barless prison

A movie that was playing recently had the dialogue “this is a prison without bars”.

And it immediately reminded me of Hotel California, where “you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave…”!

But such prisons are not uncommon.

Maybe our daily workplaces are one such example. We might despise the boss and the colleagues and can easily walk out, except for the monthly salary which acts like a drug.

Social media platforms can also feel like a prison without bars. We scroll endlessly, craving connection and validation, yet often feel more isolated and trapped in the cycle of comparison and competition.

Our own minds can become a similar prison too, especially for those battling anxiety or depression. Thoughts become a maze we can’t escape, despite the absence of physical restraints.

The real escape? Satsang and scriptures, with the guidance of a Guru.

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Sticky efforts

Sri Sri Ravishankar defines attachment in a very nice way.

He says that anything that requires efforts, is attachment.

Like if you are asked to smile. Then the smile is forced. Compared to if you are happy within and smiling naturally.

Or if you don’t know how to cook and are asked to prepare a meal. It’ll be a lot of effort. And that is attachment.

But he says that anything that comes naturally, peacefully, easily, that is nirasakti, or detachment.

Worth pondering over!

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Way back home

Imagine Buddha, in his later years, deciding it’s time to share a key piece of insight with his followers. This is what he did. He gently introduced a simple, yet profound concept: finding your way back to your true self.

Here’s the core of his message: Being at ease with who you are involves a subtle inner alignment. The first step is to guide your wandering thoughts back to the present. Avoid getting lost in past memories or future worries, as they can mire you like quicksand.

Instead, engage in mindful breathing. This practice helps synchronize our mind and body, fostering a peaceful state right in the current moment.

Think of it as drawing the curtains to shield yourself from life’s chaos. Close off your senses—sight, hearing, smell—and focus inward. Relax with your breathing, and you’ll discover a peaceful retreat within yourself.

Whenever life feels overwhelming, remember this advice from Buddha: center yourself, breathe deeply, and find your calm. This is the essence of tranquility.

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Valuenation

The whole world is going crazy over startups and their insane valuations.

From the 100s of millions to the many billions.

Wowza. Many founding teams are raking in moolah, and becoming wildly rich, seemingly overnight.

Valuation is great. But what about value creation?

Would we take only the cherry and not the cake?

Forget the startup, and look at our lives.

Are we creating value for others?

Or simply running after the glitter and gold?

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Hornida – part 2 of 2

Do the horns matter at all?

It’s perhaps the thorns inside that are more relevant, than the horns outside.

As Krishna explains in chapter 16 of the Gita, an asura would be a person who does not live by dharma. And that an asura’s sole aim in life is to enjoy sense pleasures. That’s it, as simple as that!

We each perhaps intuitively feel and believe that we live by dharma. But do we really? Are there never any transgressions?

The reality is that we each have a mix of daivic and asuric qualities, a bit of good and a bit of bad. The effort has to be, constantly, to introspect, and force out the bad, while growing the good.

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Hornida – part 1 of 2

There used to be an ad for a brand called Onida TV back in the day. It would feature a friendly looking devil, with his 2 horns and 2 fangs sticking out prominently.

“Neighbor’s envy, owner’s pride”, went the tagline, causing sales to absolutely go through the roof.

While TV ads are generally positive messages, here was a case when words like ‘envy’ and ‘pride’ actually resulted in success extraordinaire.

This is not about the devil being in the details, but a thought towards the devilish details itself.

The devil would be no different than what out texts calls asuras perhaps. People with horns, right? More tomorrow!

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Believers

Here’s the great Jiddu Krishnamurthy on “beliefs”, because his thought process was truly unique:

Belief is corruption because behind belief and morality lurks the mind, the self growing big, powerful and strong. We consider belief in God, the belief in some thing, as religion. We consider that to believe is to be religious. You understand? If you do not believe, you will be considered an atheist, you will be condemned by society. One society will condemn those who believe in God, and another society will condemn those who do not. They are the same.
So, religion becomes a matter of belief-and belief acts and has a corresponding influence on the mind that then can never be free. But it is only in freedom that you can find out what is true, what is God, not through any belief, because your very belief projects what you think ought to be God, what you think ought to be true.
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Real imposter

Imposter syndrome is truly a real thing. Even the most successful suffer from it.

Could be because of educational background, or comparisons with others and more recently, the fear of obsolescence (like by AI).

Youngsters that can’t cope sometimes end up doing the unthinkable, like a 25 year old super smart kid that launched himself to his end from a 9th floor balcony.

Why do we struggle like this?

Perhaps because we believe that we are only as good as the work we do. That we are only as good as the job titles we carry.

Is that all there is to life? In this material world where we are taught to self-aggrandize above all, maybe that is the sad reality.

But such life has no purpose. Spiritual purpose is the only way out of this nasty cycle.

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3 gateways

What are the 3 gateways to ruin?

According to the Gita, these are kaama (desire), lobha (greed) and krodha (anger).

Why these?

Because when we are full of desires, then our ego (aham) becomes prominent.

When one does anything to fulfil one’s desires, then it’s never enough, and lobha or greed dominates.

No one can have everything they desire, no matter how rich, because there are many things that money cannot buy. And unfulfilled desires when excessive can lead one to cross the line of dharma, and stem from or result in krodha.

How to stay away from this? Just lead a simple life. Earn more, own less, and be ever helpful.

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Targeted hiring

What is important for a hiring manager, especially over the longer term? Is it good grades? Or the stamp of the Ivy Leagues?

Or maybe something harder to measure, like soft skills?

From a very interesting write-up (link) by the amazing Collab Fund, here’s an excerpt:

The analysts from the “non-target” schools ranked something like #1, #2, #4, #5, and #7, while the analysts from the traditional “target” schools claimed the #3, #6, and #’s 8-11 spots.
The results were so stark that the firm’s CEO approached Rick to see what drove them. Rick’s response was direct and clear — The analysts from “non-target” schools simply wanted it more. They were humble and wanted to learn. They were willing to go above and beyond what had been asked of them. Much like how I felt just talking to this guy, these kids wanted to run through a brick wall for him.

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Shun shun shun

Okay not shun, but tion.

But that won’t make sense unless it’s merged with a word. That’s English!

Read this nice life tip today.

Vocation. Location. Relation. Don’t change more than one at a time.

Vocation as in job.

Location as in maybe moving from one city to another, or maybe even across countries.

Relation as in getting married, or expanding the family and such.

Only one at a time. Nice to know for sure. But as we well know also, life has its own plans…

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Jai Shri Ram?

Saw an ad in the newspaper for a play on Lord Ram’s life, aka Ramayana (but it wasn’t called that!).

What was odd and disconcerting, was how big the photo of Ravana was in the ad.

As though Ram was somehow relegated to being his sidekick, with a tiny image in comparison to the villain.

The ad also proudly announced, “XYZ person playing Ravan”.

But no mention of who was playing Ram.

Reminded me of this wooden doll story we discussed 4 years ago!

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Camera shy entities

In an interesting podcast with a tantric practitioner, the interviewer posed an interesting question which got an interesting answer (which is what made the podcast interesting, you see!).

He asked, “So many people claim siddhis and powers and stuff, but why are they not being captured on video then for proof? Is it that once cameras became mainstream, then such ethereal beings and divine powers stopped being shown?”

The tantric practitioner laughed and acknowledged that this was a very nice question. And then said that it’s not because cameras had come onto the scene, but simply that very few people actually possess any powers or even the intent and discipline required nowadays. Distractions abound, and siddhis don’t come by without extreme penance and effort.

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Cursery glance

What is life, if not just a cursory glance of the Divine. A few moments of His time line, and we are created, preserved and destroyed.

And yet we have egos that are larger than time itself!

Funny it was then, that I came across a silly situation.

A group of priests had gathered to perform some rituals. They were to collect some money (about 3$ each) from the participants as part of the ritual. Everyone paid up, or so they thought, because the money wouldn’t add up. Someone didn’t pay. Or the money was pocketed. Or something else. Does such a small amount even matter?!

But a huge fight ensued. Almost for an hour. And one of the priests in his anger, even cursed the whole group, and included all their 7 generations-to-come as well. And then another priest gave his curses too.

What is this, a movie script?

When anger and ego take over, everything perishes.

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Quaker notes

In a recent Zoom meeting l attended, eveything was going well.

One side was presenting their product, which was fantastic.

The other side, the client, was listening with rapt attention, and also keeping relevant questions coming from time to time.

About 45 minutes in, the folks on the client side suddenly began to look around.

What happened? Apparently an earthquake struck, not a deadly one, but still enough to feel their building quake.

The presenter, despite being fully incentivized to continue his sales pitch, very empathetically said, “My suggestion is that we reschedule and continue this call in the future. Follow-on tremors of earthquakes often come in gaps of 3 to 5 minutes. So please find yourselves a safe place.”

Lovely presence of mind and empathy, don’t you think?

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Mister Queen? Part 2 of 2

In an episode of the Netflix series Mr. Queen, a significant moral dilemma is presented, demonstrating the timeless struggle between the greater good and individual welfare.

The king is faced with a decision that challenges the very essence of his reign: whether to sacrifice a young child for the supposed benefit of the many.

This situation illuminates the depth of his character and the principles upon which his rule stands.

Contrary to the expectations of a hierarchical society that often prioritized the collective over the individual, the king’s response is both profound and telling. He asserts that his power and position hold no value if he cannot protect even the weakest among his subjects.

This moment in Mr. Queen not only highlights the inherent value of each life but also serves as a reminder that leadership, at its core, is about safeguarding the vulnerable.

Through this narrative, Mr. Queen subtly critiques historical and contemporary notions of power, suggesting that true strength lies in compassion and moral integrity, rather than the cold calculus of sacrifice for the greater good.

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Mister Queen? Part 1 of 2

Oh, to be royalty!

Lounging in palaces, donning the fanciest robes, and feasting on… well, whatever was considered a delicacy back then (pigeon pie, anyone?).

But let’s face it, even the regal life of yesteryears pales in comparison to the simple pleasures of today.

Take, for instance, the hit Netflix TV show Mr. Queen.

Imagine the hilarity of a modern soul trapped in the body of a queen from the Joseon Dynasty.

Sure, you’ve got the whole kingdom at your beck and call, but what good is that when you’re craving some late-night ramen or dying to binge-watch your favorite show?

Suddenly, being able to order pizza at 2 AM or streaming endless hours of TV feels like a luxury fit for a king… or queen!

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Words matter! – part 2 of 2

When the researchers used the word “because”, the outcome changed materially! Like, “Hey, can I jump the queue and get 5 copies please, because I’m in a rush?”.

The number of people who would now agree to let the researchers skip the queue increased by 50 percent!

But was it because of the reason? Or was it because of the word “because”?

So then the researchers added some frivolous reason. Like, “Hey, can I jump the queue and get 5 copies please, because I have to make copies?”.

And lo and behold, despite the reason itself being silly and adding no new information, about the same increase in queue-skipping permission was seen.

Incredible no? It shows how important it is, that we use the right words!

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Words matter! – part 1 of 2

There used to be this silly English sentence when I was young, that the kids would discuss in school. About how it’s not possible to have 3 “because”s in a sentence. And then some other kid would say nope, it is possible, such as: “Because cannot be used to begin a sentence because because is a preposition.”

In a book called Magic Words (by Jonah Berger) that I just began reading, the author speaks of an interesting New York Copy experiment. Everyone knows that New Yorkers are always busy, have little time to speak, and are keen to finish their wok quickly and move to the next thing.

So the researchers went to a photocopy shop where a long queue was outside. They’d go up to the front of the queue and ask “Hey, can I jump the queue and get 5 copies please?”. Obviously no one wants to give in especially when they’re all waiting for the same thing.

But when the researchers used the word “because”?

Super insight…tomorrow!

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Experiential experiences

Swami Sukhabodananda speaks about “experiencing an experience”.

He says that this is the only real way to “true” happiness.

What does he mean by this? He himself gives an example:

"Experience an experience?" a student asked the master, "What was your experience before and after enlightenment?" The master replied, "Before enlightenment, I used to wake up, bathe, eat, chop wood, and sleep at night. After enlightenment, I did the same," he continued. "The only difference being, previously when I was doing similar chores, my mind used to be in the past or future. After enlightenment, when I eat—I eat, when I bathe—I bathe, and hence I live in the present. To experience an experience is to be present in that experience."
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Best for worst swap

Would you trade your best day for someone else’s worst? Seems like such a stupid question isn’t it. Of course you wouldn’t. And it would be senseless to expect anyone else too either, right?

Picture this.

Here are your worst days. Followed by someone else’s best days. [But they will trade their best days for your worst!]

  1. When you made a bonus of only 100 in a year. The other person added 1 to bring their net worth to 10.
  2. When you didn’t get the promotion you thought you deserved. The other person got a clerk job 3 years after being laid off with no work.
  3. When you couldn’t travel to the country of your dreams for vacation. The other person got a chance to visit her family back home after 3 consecutive years of work as a maid in a foreign land.

When someone is willing to take our worst days and give us their best, what does that say about one’s attitude to life?!

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Happiest day of my life

Sometimes I wonder if there aren’t already too many self help and self development books in the world. Hundreds if not thousands. And so many are bestsellers. Amazon is full of them. Many 5-star rated ones too.

All of these push and propel the readers towards hitherto unprecedented economic success.

“Happiest day of my life. I finally bought a Toyota Innova Crysta.”

This was what popped up on my Twitter feed, with the picture of a middle-aged man and his wife, standing next to a brown Toyota, holding on to an enlarged key, beaten in length only by the smile on his face.

Surely he cannot think that his happiness is linked to the car? We know this to be spirituality 101. But our man has probably not read any of the self development books. So he is forgiven.

But what about me? While I’m just a lurker in Twitter shadowland, in my mind, I’m getting super excited and super depressed, alternately, all day long. Some good news – wow super happy, some bad news, wow super sad.

As the wise ancients say, it is important to control one’s reactions in happiness, so that one can control one’s reaction in pain.

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The Adult Play Paradox – part 4 of 4

Whether it’s exploring new hobbies, engaging in spontaneous adventures, or simply embracing moments of silliness, there are countless ways to infuse play into our daily lives.

Consider the story of Jack (again from NatGeo), a middle-aged accountant who rediscovered the joy of play through improv comedy. Despite initial apprehension, Jack found liberation in letting go of his inhibitions and embracing the spontaneity of the moment.

By prioritizing play in our lives, we not only nurture our own well-being but also contribute to a more vibrant and connected community. Whether it’s organizing a neighborhood game night or volunteering with local youth programs, finding opportunities to play and connect with others fosters a sense of belonging and purpose.

Ultimately, embracing playfulness in adulthood is a choice—a choice to approach life with curiosity, creativity, and an open heart. By infusing our daily routines with moments of joy and laughter, we can unlock the full potential of our inner child and lead lives filled with meaning and fulfillment.

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The Adult Play Paradox – part 3 of 4

From the earliest stages of life, play served as a crucial tool for learning, socialization, and adaptation. Across species, playful behaviors are observed in both young and adult animals, highlighting its evolutionary significance in survival and development.

Take, for instance, the playful antics of dolphins, who engage in elaborate games of chase and tag. While these activities may seem lighthearted, they play a vital role in honing essential skills such as hunting, communication, and social bonding.

Similarly, scientists observed tadpoles hitching rides on bubbles from aquarium aeration stones, demonstrating playful behavior even in the earliest stages of development. This playful exploration likely serves to enhance their understanding of their environment and develop essential skills for survival.

Even in humans, play has been integral to our evolution, driving innovation, creativity, and problem-solving. Consider the story of Albert Einstein, who famously remarked, “Play is the highest form of research.” By embracing his playful curiosity, Einstein revolutionized our understanding of the universe.

Concluded tomorrow!

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The Adult Play Paradox – part 2 of 4

In the midst of adulthood’s responsibilities, play often takes a backseat. However, play serves as more than just a pastime; it’s a vital component of adult life that promotes creativity, problem-solving, and social connection.

Consider the story of Sarah as per the NatGeo article, a busy professional who rediscovered the joy of play through painting. Initially hesitant to indulge in such a seemingly frivolous activity, Sarah found solace and fulfillment in expressing herself creatively.

Engaging in playful activities not only reduces stress but also fosters deeper connections with others. Whether it’s a game night with friends or a spontaneous dance party, these moments of shared joy strengthen bonds and create lasting memories.

Moreover, play encourages us to approach challenges with a fresh perspective and a sense of curiosity. By embracing a playful mindset, we can navigate life’s complexities with resilience, adaptability, and a healthy dose of humor.

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The Adult Play Paradox – part 1 of 4

In the midst of a rare snowstorm in Washington, D.C., the cityscape became a playground for the imagination.
A group of adults was attempting to build a snowman. Despite initial awkwardness, laughter soon filled the air as they embraced their inner child, demonstrating the joy and camaraderie that play can foster.

Yet, amidst the enchanting scenery, the notion of adult play faced skepticism, echoing societal norms that often dismiss playfulness as childish. But beneath the surface, play holds profound significance beyond mere amusement, as explored in the January 2024 edition of National Geographic.


Renowned psychiatrist Stuart Brown coined the term “adult-play deficit” to describe the alarming decline in adult playfulness, as discussed in said NatGeo article. He warns that this deficit may contribute to rising rates of depression and other mental health issues, highlighting the serious consequences of overlooking the importance of play in adulthood.

Recent scientific findings support the evolutionary roots of play, suggesting it’s as essential as sleep for mammals, including humans. From enhancing cognitive function to strengthening social bonds, play enriches our lives in multifaceted ways, challenging the notion that it’s solely reserved for children. More findings tomorrow!

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Winners and workers

Although “Everyone loves Raymond” (that hit TV show from yesteryear), everyone loves winning, even more!

Everyone also knows the ingredients needed to win.

Most people have the ingredients too.

But are they used properly?

Nope.

Here’s a lovely quote that sums this up:

It’s not the will to win that matters – everyone has that. It’s the will to prepare to win that matters

Paul “Bear” Bryant
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Power laws

We know the power of words. Say something appreciative, and you might capture the recipient for life. Say something nasty, and you might lose a relationship forever.

Likewise, the power of our thoughts. Would we just think bad stuff, if we knew that our thoughts come to fruition? If we are constantly fed the negative, now can we expect the outcome to be positive?

Ditto for our presence. We can’t be omnipresent, thankfully! And yet, we mentally try to be everywhere at once. If that doesn’t give us anxiety, then what were we expecting?

Our words, thoughts and presence matter. More than we can imagine.

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Clowny day

Step into the emotional landscape of ‘Vesti la Giubba,’ an aria from Ruggero Leoncavallo’s 1892 opera ‘Pagliacci.’ Here, a grieving clown, informed of his beloved’s demise, must bravely don his costume, take the stage, and uplift the audience.

This powerful scene encapsulates the resilience to confront life’s trials without succumbing to self-pity.

Delving into Hinduism and spirituality, the perspective on death transcends conventional understanding. Unlike a mere transition, it posits that there is no true end.

Life, according to this philosophy, perpetuates through various forms, urging us to embrace the cyclicality of existence. This spiritual viewpoint challenges the fear of mortality, offering solace in the belief that life transcends boundaries, echoing the powerful resilience symbolized by ‘Vesti la Giubba.’

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Failed but what?

We discussed the amazingly motivational move “12th fail” here recently.

One of the best takeaways from the movie is the word “Restart”. It’s also the mantra of the movie, that’s is applicable to each one of us maybe, and even more, to me.

When the protagonist fails repeatedly, his coach too repeatedly tells him the same thing. To restart. Because failure only crystallizes when we don’t restart.

And as any user of a Windows laptop knows, the solution to every problem is nothing but a restart!

So here I was, restarting my PC for some simple issue that of course I failed to troubleshoot. And I loved what the message said:

You’re 28% there. But you need to keep the computer on. Nothing good can happen if we switch off at the very point that we need to be switched on!

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Truly healthy

The word swasthya in Sanskrit refers to health.

I came across a very interesting interpretation by Sage Ashtavakra of Ashtavakra Gita fame. He was ashta-vakra because of his 8 physical deformities.

Could such a person be perfectly healthy or swasthya?

Seems impossible, but he was!

How?

Because his physicality was irrelevant to him. All he cared about, was being forever established in the Self.

Which is swa-stitha, or self-established. How cool is that?

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Shragaal Gita

So here’s a Gita that I never heard of before, until I chanced upon a thread on X. Encountering this Gita, also known as the Jackal Gita, nestled within the Mahabharata’s Vana Parva, unveils a lesser-known yet profound dialogue between a wise jackal and sage Kashyapa, offering solace and guidance. The wisdom shared includes:

  • Humans are blessed with hands, which jackals and animals don’t have.
  • Even so, animals never contemplate suicide, and do their best with what they have.
  • The jackal explains how running after money won’t help him, a brahmin, become a king. And even a king cannot become a Devata. And a Devata cannot become Indra. And even Indra is dissatisfied!
  • Hence Kashyap muni should embrace being born as a human + brahmin, and do his dharma.
  • The sage then realizes that the jackal is none other than Indra himself in disguise!

This interesting and relatively less known Gita is a gem and enriches one’s understanding of ancient scriptures, offering valuable insights for navigating life’s complexities.

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Bigger better tougher

A recent ad enroute to the airport caught my eye.

It was an aptly placed photo of a really premium and really rugged luggage.

Very strong and very durable.

And it had been put through some endurance tests, presumably.

Because the tagine it went with was, “The bigger the test, the bigger the person becomes.”

A good reminder for me, when I feel like curling up into a ball and shutting out the world at the slightest hint of something not going my way…

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Food spirit

Many people find it cool to shun spirituality. And religion.

In its truest form, religion only helps make spirituality more accessible.

Why is spirituality needed?

We are all a combination of matter and spirit.

We know this, because just physically assembling a human body together will not make it “alive”, as it will still lack the spirit of life.

But we tend to spend all our time feeding the matter in us. Which might make us rich in material terms.

But what food are we giving to our spirit? Especially when it is the only thing can truly resolve our inner malaise?

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Divine ask

In the grand theater of existence, we often play the role of demanding divas, seeking divine intervention for our every whim. It’s like ordering takeout from the universe, expecting it to arrive in thirty minutes or less, with a side of enlightenment.

But the Divine isn’t a wish-granting genie; it’s more like a wise old friend gently nudging us towards self-discovery, all while chuckling at our attempts to control the cosmos with a vision board and a prayer.

So, next time we bargain with the Divine like flea market shoppers, remember: it’s not about what we get, but who we become in the process.

We must ask ourselves, do we want the Divine? Or only what the Divine can give us?

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Chakras and mantras

In the realm of Kundalinī-yoga, there’s a captivating concept known as “nerve-centers.”

These points, often called chakras, aren’t just physiological plexuses; they represent deeper psychological levels that modern science hasn’t fully explored.

When diving into Kundalinī-yoga, it’s supposed to be like embarking on a journey through consciousness. Each step involves ascending from one level of awareness to the next, encountering spiritual obstacles known as granthi along the way. This path is supposed to require intense concentration and perseverance until the aspirant reaches the pinnacle of universal consciousness.

Other schools of thought involve chanting and focusing various mantras on various energy centers to make spiritual progress.

The roads are myriad, but the destination one.

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Yugased it right!

In an interesting podcast featuring one Nilesh Oak, a historian by profession, he describes the concept of yugas, as mentioned in a part of the Aitreya Brahmana.

Now typically yugas are considered to be large time periods, and some of the dating doesn’t even make sense.

For instance, the common number one sees is that some 432,000 years makes up one yuga. And some will compound this number as well. And then they say the Mahabharata happened one yuga ago, so 432,000 years ago. Really? Was there even any human life back then?

And thus this different explanation of yugas was symbolic and interesting, as are most things in Hinduism! What did it say?

That when we sleep, that is Kali Yuga. When we wake up and sit, it is Treta Yuga. When we stand, it is Dwapara Yuga, and when we take action, it is Satya Yuga!

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Vana go?

In Sanatana Dharma, there are 4 stages of life progression.

Brahmachari, or student life.

Grihastashram, or family life (as a householder).

Vanaprastha, or going to the forest, relinquishing material life.

And lastly Sanyasa, which is completely giving up everything.

This is a beautiful progression no doubt.

But a billboard ad caught my eye today enroute to work. They were selling apartments in a lovely looking skyrise building.

The name of the building? Vana, of course, from Vanaprastha, but minus the prastha!

What are they offering? That for an insane price, one can buy a princely apartment in that building, with a nice forest-ish appearance (i.e., lots of trees!) and hence leaving no need to go to the forest for vanvaas at all!

Are  we running away from materialism, or towards it?!

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Forgetful prayer – part 4 of 4

Is there another lesson for us from what Swami Vivekananda did?

Do we completely give up our prayers, and wish for nothing?

And if we stop asking, will the Gods not make those things happen?

Do things happen only because we ask? Well surely this we know is not true. Our efforts matter, but most things are outside our control.

Then why pray? For our mental peace, at the very least. Because that is truly the only thing that matters. If we are lucky, specific chants might provide specific material results too.

Therefore it makes sense to pray for us to have the right mindset for every situation. That will us to samatvam, or equipoise in the face of everything.

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Forgetful prayer – part 3 of 4

So, what can we glean from Vivekananda’s experience? It prompts us to contemplate our own approach to prayer and spirituality. Are we too focused on asking for specific outcomes, rather than seeking a deeper connection with the divine?

The notion of living without constantly seeking fulfillment through external means poses a significant challenge. It requires a level of spiritual maturity and selflessness that few attain. Yet, it’s a worthy aspiration, inviting us to transcend our material desires and embrace a more profound understanding of existence.

In essence, Vivekananda’s journey urges us to reflect on the interconnectedness of prayer, enlightenment, and liberation. Perhaps it’s not about achieving one before the other, but rather recognizing that they are intrinsically linked – different facets of the same spiritual evolution. It’s a journey of self-discovery and growth, where each step brings us closer to realizing our true nature and purpose.

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Forgetful prayer – part 2 of 4

In Vivekananda’s repeated attempts to ask for help within the shrine, we witness a struggle familiar to many: the tension between faith and doubt, action and inaction.

Despite his genuine need, Vivekananda’s forgetfulness highlights the complexity of human nature, where even sincere intentions can be overshadowed by distractions or uncertainties. But was he really distracted or uncertain? Perhaps not.

It might be we who are truly distracted. Distracted away from God and into materialism. Vivekananda was exactly the opposite, because he forgot everything in the presence of the Lord. That’s not distraction, is it?

Ultimately, Ramakrishna’s gentle rebuke – that asking for material gains without understanding life’s deeper truths is folly – challenges us to reflect on our own motivations and expectations in prayer and in life. It’s a lesson in aligning our desires with a deeper understanding of the universe and our place within it.

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Forgetful prayer – part 1 of 4

There’s a remarkable incident from Vivekananda’s life that offers profound insight. Picture this: his mother lay gravely ill, nearing the end of her life, and Vivekananda found himself without the means to provide her essential medication or sustenance. The frustration and helplessness he felt must have been overwhelming.

In his distress, he turned to Sri Ramakrishna, seeking solace and guidance. Venting his emotions, he questioned the value of spirituality in the face of his mother’s suffering. Ramakrishna, a devout worshiper of Kali, suggested an unconventional approach: to seek assistance directly from the divine.

Despite initial doubts, Vivekananda entered the shrine. But, remarkably, he forgot to make his plea. This happened not once, but twice, demonstrating the fallibility of even the most earnest intentions in moments of crisis. Ramakrishna’s patient insistence on trying again underscored the importance of perseverance in spiritual practice.

What happened next? Continued tomorrow…

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Divine address

Ever pondered how to address the divine? The Bhagavad Gītā offers a hint: “Howsoever men approach me, even so do I accept them,” says the Avatar. Thus, whether one prefers a paternal or maternal demeanor, divinity accommodates all.

Within the realm of the divine, gender and personality dissolve, akin to fitting an elephant into a teacup—utterly futile, yet oddly amusing.

Here’s the twist: from the impersonal Brahman, cosmic entity extraordinaire, emerges the personalized Iśvara, donning a human-like garb for a more relatable vibe.

And when chaos beckons and evil looms large, God sheds the celestial garb, donning the guise of an Avatar—a divine intervention akin to a cosmic superhero, ready to save the day in style. Whether as Brahma, Vishnu, Rudra, or the next box-office hit Avatar, divinity reigns supreme in all its multifaceted glory.

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Ego trippin’

Can (pseudo) spirituality manifest in untoward ways?

  1. Social Media Showcase: Some individuals attend meditation retreats primarily to flaunt their spirituality on social media, seeking validation instead of inner growth. By posting photos of themselves meditating, they prioritize external validation over genuine spiritual connection. Their focus shifts from personal development to impressing others, turning their spiritual practice into a disguised ego trip.
  2. Intellectual Ego Boost: Others use spiritual quotes and discussions to appear wise or enlightened in conversations. Rather than embodying humility, they seek admiration and elevate themselves intellectually. Their motivation isn’t genuine spiritual growth but rather to assert superiority over others, feeding their ego through the guise of spirituality.
  3. Manipulative Justification: Some manipulate spiritual teachings to justify selfish actions, distorting spirituality for personal gain. By claiming alignment with spiritual principles while harming others, they prioritize their own interests over compassion and understanding. In doing so, they not only deceive others but also corrupt the essence of genuine spiritual practice.
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Sam equanimity

The Sanskrit word samata refers to equanimity. Neither getting too happy when something good happens, nor getting too sad when something bad happens.

Samata is possibly the first step in karma yoga.

Can we directly give up all attachments and desires? Very difficult.

But can we slowly and surely train ourselves to be lesser and lesser volatile (of mind) to outside events? Absolutely.

And this will naturally cultivate a sense of detachment. Such an internal shift leads to a separation between the active surface personality, engrossed in various engagements, and the inner peace and detachment.

The individual begins to perceive that it is not they who are solely responsible for their actions, but rather that the actions are being carried out through them.

This perspective eliminates feelings of possessiveness or attachment to the outcome of their endeavors, regardless of their perceived significance or success in conventional consciousness.

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Cosmic liking

We fawn over ourselves like the world’s most stunning Instagram filter.

Yet, one snarky comment and our self-worth crumbles faster than a gluten-free cookie. What gives?

Vedic spirituality calls it “Maya”.

We see ourselves reflected in other people’s opinions, forgetting the eternal, flawless Self within.

Ditch the external validation and grab your meditation cushion.

Uncover your inner diamond, and those fleeting opinions will lose their sparkle.

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Just forget it

Forgetfulness comes in various forms. Sometimes, we misplace items or overlook appointments – minor slip-ups. But there’s a deeper, more profound kind of forgetfulness: absent mindfulness, where we lose touch with ourselves.

I stumbled upon the thoughts of the Danish philosopher Kierkegaard in an article in the paper. In his 1843 work, “either/or,” Kierkegaard reflected, “The unhappy person is one who has…the content of his life, the fullness of his consciousness, the essence of his being…outside of himself.” This detachment from oneself, Kierkegaard argued, leads to perpetual absence from the present moment.

He identified existential boredom as the root cause of our frantic pursuit of distractions, long before the digital age. Kierkegaard viewed this busyness as absurd – a futile attempt to fill the void of meaninglessness.

So, what’s Kierkegaard’s answer? He challenges us to find truth within ourselves. It’s about discovering ourselves in the here and now, where past and future fade away, leaving only the perfect present tense.

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TTSP, again

We’ve already seen TTSP once before.

But this was echoed several centuries ago by the wise Birbal.

King Akbar once asked him, “What is it that will make an unhappy man happy, and a happy man unhappy?”.

Birbal thought for a moment and replied, “This too shall pass!”, indicating that everything is transitory only.

If a moment seems too good, and a happy man is revelling in that moment, that moment will soon pass. And likewise for the unhappy man, who is extrapolating his life to constantly get worser and worser. But as we well know, TTSP!

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Praising the Box

In a TV series called Curbing Your Enthusiasm, one of the protagonists throws himself a “live” funeral. He’s absolutely convinced that it will catch on too!

What is this, according to the funny guy? A pretty nice concept, if you think about it.

His premise is that when everyone’s going to come to his funeral after he dies, they will invariably have very nice things to say. But, they will be saying all those nice things to “the body in the box”.

So, why not have the same situation, but receive the praise when alive instead?

The concept is cool. And it’s amazing really how no one praises anyone during the normal course of life. At least not when they aren’t expecting anything in return!

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Pleasurable pleasures

Why give up the thrill of pleasure, huh? Imagine soaking in a breathtaking sunset, admiring a majestic tree, or following the graceful flow of a river—sheer bliss!

But here’s the twist: when we cling to those moments like they’re going out of style, they become addictive. Suddenly, that beautiful face or serene landscape becomes an obsession.

We’ve all been there. We revel in a moment—be it artistic, intellectual, or simply awe-inspiring—and we’re hooked. Yet, this pursuit often clouds our minds, breeding false ideals and endless illusions.

Let’s be realistic though. Trying to kick pleasure to the curb is a futile endeavor. Instead, we could dissect it, and understand its quirks and cravings. Because when life becomes a relentless pursuit of pleasure, it’s like opening Pandora’s box of chaos, confusion, and blurred lines. Pleasure can be painful.

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Reclamation

Just came across a nice Jay Shetty video where a young lady all of 26, asks him for advice. She was hit by brain cancer 4 years prior, and she’s obviously seen all of her friends and colleagues move forward in life, whereas time had stood still for her.

How could she possibly reclaim her life?

Jay’s answer was sensible and sensitive. After calling out how inspiring this young lady was, he told her that what she and many others go through at such a point in time, is perhaps grief.

Why grief?

Because, he explained, that grief doesn’t just come because of losing someone or something, it could also come because of not having the life one would have wanted or thought they should have.

Pretty interesting way to define grief, no?

And he also said that the lady should continue to share her story with others and inspire those around her. Because as she helps others bring down their grief, her own grief would reduce!

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The wanderer – part 2 of 2

Our minds have a habit of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. And let’s face it, they can cling to the negative like Velcro. But here’s the important bit: we’re all born with innocence, just waiting to be rediscovered.

Remember those carefree days of childhood, when every moment was an adventure? That innocence is still within us, ready to bring a little magic back into our lives.

So, if we loosen up and embrace simplicity, life could become a whole lot sweeter. It’s not just about gaining knowledge; it’s about reconnecting with our inner selves. By welcoming our innocence, we can open ourselves up to a world of joy, spontaneity, and endless possibilities.

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The wanderer – part 1 of 2

Ever catch your mind in a daydream? It’s like a puppy, always chasing after the next thing. But here’s the deal: being aware of what’s going on up there is like having a superpower. It’s our ticket to taming stress and anxiety.

Sometimes our thoughts feel like a flock of birds, darting from one idea to the next without a care in the world. But when we start paying attention, we realize we can guide those thoughts like a skilled shepherd herding sheep.

The next time our minds take off on their own adventure, let’s grab the reins and steer them back to the present moment. Who knows? We might just discover a newfound sense of peace and clarity amidst the chaos of everyday life.

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Deathly dollhouse

In the recently released Hollywood movie called Barbie, there’s some interesting dialogues.

Of course Barbies always have fun and every day is perfect.

Just like the perfect world imagined by the minds of so many little girls who love their dolls.

However, one day, Barbie faces an existential question.

She begins to think about death, and that too, while shaking a leg at a party.

“Have you other dolls ever thought about dying?”

And suddenly there’s pin drop silence. Clearly this is a no-no on Barbie-land.

So Barbie quickly covers up, “I meant, I’m just dying to dance…”, and the party resumes like it never even stopped!

Funny stuff, but in the real world, we know all too well, that it is the thought of mortality that truly awakens one’s spirituality.

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King of the Whirled

An octogenarian leader made it clear that relinquishing power is not on the agenda. Despite advancing age and mounting health concerns, he remains steadfast in his position, defying expectations of retirement.

This stance prompts reflection on the universal struggle of letting go of power and privilege, even in later life. It highlights how deeply ingrained desires and attachments can overshadow considerations of what may be best for succession planning.

This narrative serves as a reminder of the complexities of human nature, where the allure of power often outweighs rational judgment or recognition of one’s limitations. It underscores the wisdom found in spiritual teachings, advocating for detachment from worldly desires and the pursuit of inner peace.

For the elderly leader, the throne is his whirlwind, a realm he’s reluctant to depart. Do we have such thrones as well?

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Desirelessness

Can we truly give up all desires?

Perhaps not.

But can we give up one desire for another?

I feel like buying that cool looking $1200 new iPhone, but then seeing the $3500 Vision Pro makes my heart skip a beat (insane price and awesomeness both!).

So the interim solution is probably in trading desires upwards. Go for something better, and replace the lower.

Keep doing this, and we’ll realize that the only desire that truly and comprehensively fills the heart is the desire for God and the Self.

That’s also when we’ll accept that we already have everything that truly matters. What good is a desire for the one who has it all?

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Spirituality at work

It’s difficult bringing spirituality to work, isn’t it? Most people don’t get it, or don’t care. And we ourselves may not fully understand how to implement what Krishna has said. So here are three simple pointers:

  • Give Your Best: No shortcuts, just your A-game!
  • Keep Your Cool: Inner peace amidst the chaos is key.
  • Share the Success: We didn’t get here alone, and there are many people who will benefit from us, in myriad ways!

Being spiritual doesn’t mean being naive. But we can surely tackle the corporate jungle with a dash of mindfulness.

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The good old…

People always reminisce about the “good old days,” but maybe, the good old days are happening right now!

Remember when we had to rely on paper train timetables or stop random strangers for directions? Now, with just a tap on our smartphones, we can navigate through the chaotic streets of Mumbai or the bustling markets of Delhi without breaking a sweat.

The struggle of waiting for a bus in the scorching heat or pouring rain, praying it would arrive on time? Nowadays, with ride-hailing apps, we can summon a ride with a few taps and avoid the dreaded wait.

Back then, if you missed your favorite Bollywood movie at the cinema, you might have to wait ages for it to come out on DVD. But now? Streaming platforms bring the latest releases pronto.

So, let’s raise a chai to the present chaos because someday, we’ll look back and say, “Remember when we thought these were the good old days?”

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Magic garland

Here’s a super “miracle” that I had the good fortune to witness recently.

I was with a staunch devotee of a particular deity. This deity was the Ishta Devata of said person, and the person would chant copious malas of this deity’s mantras daily.

I watched the person put small flower garlands across the photos of all the various deities at their altar. All garlands from the same strip, and all similar flowers.

And yet, the next morning, while all the other garlands had wilted, only the garland around the Ishta Devata was incredibly fresh!

The difference was absolutely remarkable, almost as though that specific deity’s photo had specially charged energy… Divine and miraculous indeed!

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Practical virtues

In chapter 16 of the Amazing Simple Gita, my Guru has added an important element for many virtues in the first 3 verses. One of pragmatism and practicality.

Some people try to conflate the virtues given with perpetual application. In every single situation.

The virtue list asks to tell the truth? Well tell the truth all the time then, even if it hurts someone, especially a dharmic person.

Here’s one:

Kshama: An automatic, effortless (non-reactive) forgiveness. No stupidity, Great Prithviraj Chawhan, forgave his enemy 7 times and got killed in the 8th battle. Never forgive durjanas.

Adhroha: Bearing no enmity, dislike to none. Yet applied depending on your duty. For instance border protector, soldier and police. Don’t wait to get killed by other’s tricks.

See the stuff in bold? How practical is that!

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Extra of the ordinary

How about we cherish the beauty of the everyday? In the simplicity of routine, we uncover moments of wonder and joy, whether it’s the melody of birdsong, the comfort of a familiar embrace, or the aroma of freshly baked bread.

Amidst the hustle of life, we could pause to appreciate the magic in ordinary moments, like the gentle rustle of leaves in the wind or the soft glow of a candle’s flame.

We can embrace the notion that true miracles lie in the everyday, reminding ourselves to seek awe in the seemingly mundane, like the way sunlight dances through the trees or the laughter of children playing in the park.

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Journey or destination? Neither?

We’re always told to value the journey over the destination, right?

Because focusing on the destination aka result is what brings us stress and anxiety. Focusing on the journey hence will allow us to “enjoy the moment”.

Here’s another nice take I came across recently.

Shift your focus from the ‘how’ to the ‘who‘ – because the people you surround yourself with shape your journey.

In life’s adventure, the beauty lies in the company you keep. Prioritize the ‘who’ over the ‘how.’

There is magic in embracing inspiring souls; they transform ordinary journeys into extraordinary adventures.

The right people could make every journey and destination brilliant.

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Cat outta the bag

In Rajarshi Nandi’s book called Adhyatmikta, the author presents an interesting view on sects or lineages of saints, called sampradayas.

Many people simply become egoistic today, saying that they are linked to so and so lineage. Does it really matter?

Here’s a funny excerpt from the book…

Each sampradaya is susceptible to a single weak link in the chain of transmission. Nobody can fix this; that is how matters transpire. The classic example given is that of one great pundit who had a cat and would tie that cat near his puja room when he sat for puja so that the animal did not disturb him. Few generations down the line nobody really remembered why he used to tie the cat, but the thought process, and that action transformed into a dogma and a new rule was made that whoever did that puja ought to first buy one cat for himself and then tie it near the room!
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Simple reality

  • Life’s pursuit? Seek limitlessness.
  • Problem: How we seek.
  • Why? Because desires drive us, and actions limit us.
  • Upanishad say: Seeker and sought unite.
  • Knowledge, not action, leads.
  • Then why act? As work purifies mind, detached.
  • Pure mind grasps reality fast.
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Nature’s call

In Sanskrit philosophy, there’s this concept called “prakriti,” which refers to nature’s role in shaping our consciousness and giving it boundaries. Pra+kriti, first+action.

It’s like nature’s way of guiding us to act in certain ways, almost instinctively. Picture it as our default mode of action, the way we naturally respond when faced with a situation that demands action.

This innate nature, deeply embedded within us, influences how we perceive and interact with the world around us. Until we learn to master it, we’re bound by its constraints.

There’s this saying in Sanskrit that I came across, “svabhavo vijayati iti shauryam,” which translates to “the true heroism is to conquer our own nature.” It’s about overcoming those instinctual impulses and limitations to truly assert control over our actions and decisions.

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Mauna

A relative was recently discussing an experience of a silent spiritual retreat.

I’ve heard of these before, but never had the courage to attempt one. Still won’t, I think.

But it’s interesting when you realize that verbal silence is only one aspect of it. The real mauna is in the ability to make the mind go quiet. Silencing the mouth is just a means to that end.

Apparently there are a few types of maunas.

Karna mauna: control of speech;

Kastha mauna: maintaining a neutral expression in every way;

Susupti mauna: clearing the mind of doubts, recognizing life’s transient nature and the role of the three Gunas, Sattva, Rajas and Tamas;

Maha mauna: achieving a complete cessation of thoughts

Clearly, shutting my mouth is far easier than the others!

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No fear seer

Guruji’s Wisdom: “I am the body” breeds fear—of hurt, death, loss.

Cosmic Play: Recognize life as Lord’s Prakriti, embracing desire’s exhaustion for innate fearlessness.

Death’s Truth: Realize death befalls the body, not the everlasting soul—fear wanes.

Relinquish Labels: Strip away “I and mine,” embracing everything as the Lord’s—fear fades.

Devotion Triumphs Fear: Total faith in the Lord dispels fear; Prahalad’s unwavering trust exemplifies.

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Hard or soft?

In the realm of leadership today, there’s a lot of buzz around soft skills, and empathy often gets thrown into that mix. But Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella sees it differently. He believes understanding others goes far beyond what we typically consider soft skills. To him, labeling empathy as “soft” undermines its true importance—it’s actually one of the toughest skills to master.

Nadella emphasized this point in an interview with Axel Springer’s CEO Mathias Döpfner, stating, “Empathy is not a soft skill. It’s the hardest one to master—to truly connect with the world and the people who matter most to us.”

Moreover, Nadella highlights that empathy isn’t just about bettering relationships within a company—it’s also integral for understanding customers. According to him, genuine innovation stems from empathetically addressing unspoken needs.

Nadella has long championed the significance of empathy in leadership. His personal experiences, including being a father to his late son Zain, who had special needs, profoundly shaped his perspective. He acknowledges his wife’s empathy as a driving force behind his own commitment to infusing compassion into both his personal and professional endeavors.

In essence, Nadella’s stance underscores that empathy isn’t merely a trendy concept—it’s a fundamental pillar of effective leadership.

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Big, bigger…

Steve Schwarzman is global Private Equity behemoth Blackstone’s Founder and Chairman.

He’s 77 years old, and is worth some ~38bn dollars. So one can say he’s successful.

Here’s what he said in an interview recently, which offers some exceptional motivation:

Schwarzman, who will likely never retire, insists his global ambitions have nothing to do with money. "I look at anything and say, 'What's the maximum we can make this?"" he says of his life's work. "If you see some amazing opportunity, I just get so excited about that. Why shouldn't we own that? Let's go."
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Cool, calm, confident

Ever found yourself pondering how to tackle an unusual challenge? Imagine facing a judge’s puzzling verdict: a prisoner must be hanged on a surprise day from Monday to Friday.

Instead of succumbing to fear, the prisoner remains calm, employing a brilliant strategy. If he stays alive until Thursday, the judge’s Friday execution loses its element of surprise.

Extending this logical approach, if he survives until Wednesday, Thursday’s execution is ruled out. This method continues for each day, ultimately making a surprise punishment impossible.

This tale unfolds a powerful lesson in navigating tough situations with a composed mind and innovative thinking. When faced with adversity, the ability to think beyond the obvious can work wonders. The prisoner’s clever reasoning not only spared his life but left the judge in awe, leading to a compassionate decision.

In life’s challenges, perhaps remarkable solutions emerge when one stays calm and embraces creativity.

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Choosing choice

In our journey as humans, we’re endowed with the incredible gift of the human form, giving us the unique ability to choose our thoughts, feelings, and actions. This power shapes our destiny and happiness.

Life is often turbulent, filled with trials. Yet, amid the storm, our choices remain in our control. We can choose our attitude, our response – to be positive, proactive, and resilient.

Cultivating the art of choice is vital. Each decision carries consequences. Discovering our purpose guides us towards meaningful choices, aligning us with fulfillment and freedom.

But beware of ego-driven choices, which lead to bondage and suffering. The study of Vedanta offers wisdom, clarifying our path towards a meaningful and joyful existence.

In the end, the power of choice is divine – a force that shapes our lives and the world around us. Embrace it, for it resides within each of us.

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Meditative mantra

In the chaos of our daily lives, meditation has become a lifeline for many chasing success and inner peace. But what’s the real key to making meditation work? Well, it’s simpler than you might think: just repeat to yourself, “I am nothing, I know nothing, I do nothing.

Now, that might sound counterintuitive in a world obsessed with achievement, but here’s the trick – it’s all about letting go. Embrace the mantra, embrace the nothingness.

By acknowledging our smallness, we actually find a deeper connection within ourselves. It’s like shedding layers of stress, anxiety and ego.

This mantra isn’t about achieving something monumental. It’s about finding peace in the now, letting go of the need to know everything, and realizing that sometimes doing nothing is the most productive thing you can do.

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Really real problems

We’ve discussed previously the very nice and funny TV series called Our Man in… where the host is none other than James May of Top Gear fame.

Guess where he’s traveled to after visiting Japan and Italy? Well, India of course!

India is a country that’s just too vast to do full justice on a 3-episode show. And so while May has tried, he’s barely scratched the surface. At least it leaves room for him to come back for more!

What struck me as poignant, was how he a Britisher, and therefore ex-“colonizer” (as one of his guests in an episode funnily put it), summed up India at the end.

He acknowledged that foreign people always talk about the problems in India. And then he added, “The problems of India are no different than the problems we have back home. The only thing is, India is much bigger, and hence its problems look that much bigger.”

Nicely on point. The problems everywhere are the same. And interestingly, the solutions are the same as well. All dealing with the mind, and cleanly provided in our scriptures!

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Candle lit

Remember Elton John’s touching but outstanding song, “Candle in the Wind”? It got me thinking about life in another way.

Imagine life as a flame, akin to the candle in Elton’s song, but with an uplifting twist.

Each of us is like a candle, glowing brightly for a time before we’re gone.

Yet, the flame – our spirit or essence – doesn’t end with us. It moves on, lighting another candle, another life.

This is an analogical perspective to rebirth, isn’t it?

Our physical form may flicker out, but our essence continues in the endless cycle of life, much like the enduring melody of a beautiful song…

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Thanks but yes thanks

Daana or charity has a special place in spirituality. Lord Krishna considers it amongst the key rungs on the spiritual ladder.

Why would this be?

Because the root cause of all our troubles is said to be the ego. The more the ego has, the more it wants.

Au contraire, the more it gives away, the weaker it becomes.

This nicely sums up daana. Because when we part with something, we’re actually not losers, but gainers in the most crucial sense.

So charity, assuming it’s done right, with no expectations, and given to the right people / organizations, means that it’s really not the receivers who should be telling thanks to the givers. Rather it should be the givers telling them thanks, for giving them the opportunity to perform daana!

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Listen up

There was a funny incident recently. A session on improving presentation skills was being conducted.

The speaker said that there were three key things to watch out for.

  1. Listening
  2. Questioning
  3. Messaging

The speaker then said that he wanted the audience to pick any one of the three key focus areas that they believed were their strong point.

Everyone picked one of the three and put that into the chat box (most sessions happen online nowadays you see!).

Everyone except one chap. He picked Listening and Questioning.

The speaker said you’ve to pick only one. So he picked Listening.

But it’s funny no? The guy who picked Listening as his strong suit couldn’t listen to the requirement, which was to pick only one! Sums me up well many times, when I’m just physically present but mentally far far away someplace…

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Mental subtraction

Here’s a nice mental model that I came across recently.

What “mental subtraction” calls for, is to imagine that certain situations have not happened in our lives.

Many times we feel low and depressed. But how to get out of this rut? Mental subtraction of course!

So just think of the most important and the happiest events and situations that happened in your life.

Could be when you got married, or when you graduated, or got a promotion, or got your first child, or any of 100s of other such situations.

Now mental subtraction requires us to slowly remove each of these incidents from our lives. The positive triggers that pushed our trajectory forward? Yes, remove them.

How would we have felt? Where would we be? Surely not in a better position than we are in today?

And thus the need for gratitude and faith. Nothing is truly in our hands, but still, we are in good hands.

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Worship mentality

A lot of people would be doing homas (fire worship) for a variety of reasons.

While I was reading an excellent manual on performing a Chandi Homam (Mother Chandi is the divine primordial energy of life), I was struck by the message provided by the author on the mindset one needs to adopt while doing this homam. Pasting it below, verbatim, for your reading pleasure!

However, it is not necessary that She should take away one's material success and prosperity in order to give spiritual upliftment. In fact, many people who perform Chandi homam everyday or every week using this document may experience continued or even increased material success (and yet be able to remain detached from it and progress spiritually). However, in some cases, She may decide to give a shock or two in worldly matters if something is badly blocking one's spiritual progress and a setback is needed. The path towards self-realization is different for each person. She knows the best for each person. Unless one is willing to surrender to Her completely and accept whatever comes one's way good or bad as Her blessings and unless one does not expect any specific material benefit from this homam, one should not use this document to perform Chandi homam.

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Hamster Manster

Seem a hamster wheel before? No doubt you have!

It seems silly that the hamster keeps running on it, despite getting nowhere.

Well here’s the story of someone I know.

He was perched on a ladder, and was doing great.

Then he looked down, and felt super, because he saw many below him on lower rungs of the ladder.

Then he looked up, and felt sick, because there were so many above him on higher rungs.

And he felt those above him were getting away, farther and farther, while those below, seemed to be catching up!

But the Divine Being who was standing outside and observing, could clearly make out that the ladder was nothing more than a circle, exactly like a hamster’s wheel.

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Speak down

Most people today are crazy about speaking up. They just do anything to get the first word in, and more importantly, their word in.

It’s as though the world is run by people who talk, talk and talk more.

Speaking up is important, no doubt, at specific times.

But only speaking, and not letting anyone else in on the conversation? That’s plain bad manners!

And yet, most people just love the sound of their own voice a bit too much!

But you know what’s even more beautiful than sound and perhaps more important?

Silence!

Silence is crucial if one wants to listen to and understand the words and perspectives of others. Wisdom calls upon us only when we are silent. We can feel the Self within, only in silence. Indeed, silence is the true language of Creation.

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Extreme devotion?

Came across the interesting concept of Virodha Bhakti, or reverse devotion. The practitioners harbor such intense hatred towards God that they undergo self-destruction, only to be rescued by the very divine force that annihilated them.

This philosophy suggests that the immense power and transformative nature of the Divine makes any interaction, even adversarial, ultimately beneficial for the Seeker.

Liberation is attained when an asura, slain by Vishnu or Durga (for example) in battle, experiences this paradoxical union of destruction and salvation.

The gods of Hinduism, capable of formidable deeds, execute their actions with perfect detachment – destroying without hatred and loving without attachment.

This paradoxical nature underscores the profound dynamics of spirituality.

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10k marathon

Everyone who runs a marathon knows that the 10k or 10 kilometers run is not even close to the actual 42km.

Neither is it close to the half marathon at 21k.

But 10k is important in itself, as the stepping stone to the larger numbers. 10k is also the over-publicized and over-quoted number from Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers where he coaxes people to get in 10k hours of practice on anything if they seek mastery.

We’ve discussed this before as well, and so we’ll get to the point. 10k hours works in everything, including spirituality. We spend 10k hours on many things, but how about on prayer?

Many people question faith. They say our scriptures and vedic chants do not work. But these statements come from quarters that have never tried these out. Try calling out to a deity with shraddha and bhakti 10k-hours-worth times and the view will change!

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Poverty-stricken who

For the Ayodhya Ram Mandir consecration, the who’s who across various fields were been invited to attend.

But there’s also one poor ragpicker who was invited.

Really? Why?

Because she had donated a meagre 20 rupees in total, 10 from her side, and 10 for her unwell son.

20 rupees is nothing. The middle class will argue that with inflation, even 2 million rupees is nothing.

But what this lady lacked in money, she made up for in faith and devotion.

In terms of money, everyone reading this would never considering themselves to be in poverty.

But I can’t help but wonder if I’m not spiritually impoverished. And whether the Guru has been trying forever to lift me above the poverty line.

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Tester kit

Life is a test. Or maybe a series of tests.

Like in school and college, we can’t always score a 10 on 10.

Some will be really tough tests, and others not so much.

But the tests are what cause us to grow.

They push us to become better.

When people hurt us by doing exactly the opposite of what self-help and leadership and “success-secrets” books tell us, that’s fine. Because those crazily aggravating scenarios too are just tests.

Can we keep our wits about us? Or do we give up?

Every moment spent here on earth is a test not for our bodies and minds, but for our souls. Are we able to overcome our basic instincts, and pass the test to become a higher power?

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Professionally permanent

Many of us may be attending a lot of satsangs, or at least one of them.

How does it make us feel? Great, right?

That one hour spent in satsang could be absolute bliss.

The key messages to empower ourselves, to bring us success, and to elevate our spiritual lives – all in those lovely 60 minutes. And add some socializing and some prasad, and that would seem like spiritual bliss.

But outside of that one hour of satsang?

Does the bliss continue?

Maybe the word professional satsangi is relevant then. We are (I certainly am) beneficiaries and maybe even contributors within that 1 hour period. But outside of that, life (aka strife) takes over.

Only if we consistently and mindfully implement each of the messages of our scriptures, can we hope to move from professional satsangi, to a permanent one!

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Vote for…

Apparently some 4 billion people across 60+ countries are eligible to vote this year (2024).

That’s just insane, and incredible.

A quick look at poll promises overall though?

Many leaders in the decades gone by, would offer development and things. Yes, things like schoolbags and bicycles and computers and what not.

Instead today, there’s hardly much positive left. It’s mostly all about promises of shutting down other communities, wiping out other religions and inviting hate wherever love and peace should exist.

The game seems to be all about self-gratification, ensuring continued rulership (via appeasement votes) with little care for those around.

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Level 43

Rohan Bopanna recently won his first tennis Grand Slam title. Now this statement may not be a big deal standalone, but Bopanna achieved this at the age of 43 years and 329 days!

Easy on the body? Nope. Easy on the mind? Absolutely not!

Imagine having played 100s and 100s of matches during all the so-called “prime” years of youth and not winning a grand slam at all. And yet, he persisted.

He couldn’t do intense weight lifting and similar exercises, so he switched to yoga, to give him the core workout he needed.

And of course, he switched his mindset to being super positive.

As he quipped, “I’m not 43, I’m at level 43!”

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Higher highs yet low

The markets across the world are going higher and higher.

Wealth effect is kicking in.

People are getting richer.

And yet, they aren’t happier.

Why?

Because those who are invested, are wondering what to do. Do they pull out their money, crystallize their gains? Or will the market go even higher after they pull out, only to leave them as helpless bystanders?

Then of course there’s the bunch that aren’t invested at all. They’ve just been watching and waiting, hoping to enter, but never able to truly make up their minds.

The market might be high, but the moods of the hoi polloi?

That’s a trick question, as you know by now, where happiness truly resides!!

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Gaumata

Cows have a unique significance in Indian / Hindu tradition.

Foreigners often find it funny that Indian roads (even highways!) are used by these bovine creatures to chill out, for lack of a better phrase.

And because of the respect for cows, people will leave them be.

In Vedic tradition and astrology too, feeding cows and taking care of them is said to bring benefit, including erasing or neutralising bad karma.

Now who’s going to go find a cow and take care of one? Thus when I was scrolling through my twitter feed today, I chanced upon https://dakshinvrindavan.org/, which is a retirement home for cows, and where anyone can donate whatever they feel like.

I haven’t particularly verified this organization, and maybe there are many others like them, but this one came recommended by some respected individuals, so just thought to share, in case someone is looking for helping spread some moo-sic to cows ears!

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Scary Antonym

What is the opposite of fear?

Bravery?

Courage?

Confidence?

Fearlessness?

Well, none of these are wrong. But they aren’t a 100% correct either, because to eradicate fear, we need something strong and permanent.

So what is such a thing?

Devotion.

With adequate devotion, even the deepest of fears melt away. Why fear when the Lord is here?

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Defective plan

When you’re gunning for the top post, and someone thinks you’re not worth it, how does that make you feel?

Not good, right?

A recent interview by US Republican ex-candidate Vivek Ramaswamy was outstanding.

A lady in the audience asked him whether he would accept being a VP to Trump (her implicit assumption being that Trump would win and be President).

Vivek said that he would always put his country first, and do what was needed. But also that he felt he was the right choice to run America.

The lady then said that his answer sounded like “a maybe”.

To which Vivek said, “I gotta tell you about a defect I’ve got. You need to know because you gotta know your President has a defect. And that defect is, that I never have a Plan B!”

A masterclass in handling hecklers if there was one! But more than that, it shows extraordinary confidence in one’s abilities. Could he lose? Yeah, anything can happen, and I don’t remotely understand politics, so that’s not even the point. But if we could all work as though we had no plan B’s, how cool would that be?!

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Proof of investment

It’s funny how human nature rarely changes.

And this is exactly why all our scriptures, although written thousands of years ago, are still as relevant today as they were back then!

In the investing world, maybe a few decades ago, people would make basic mistakes like buying high and then getting wiped out in a market crash. Why’d they do that? Because they didn’t have enough information. About companies, about markets, about stocks. No internet, no information.

Hence, buy, because it seems like a get rich quick scheme, and hey the neighbor is in on it too!

Fast forward to today, and what has changed? Lack of information has changed to an overdose of information. But has this translated into wisdom? Hardly. Greed and fear still rule the roost, and hence the basal human nature is absolutely unchanged.

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Flying wheel

In business, concepts like the ‘flywheel effect’ and ‘virtuous cycle’ signify momentum from strategic actions. Surprisingly, these ideas also illuminate the spiritual path, particularly when exploring the synergy of humility and gratitude.

Humility sets this spiritual flywheel in motion. It’s a grounding force, reminding us of our small yet significant role in the universe. This humble perspective naturally ushers in gratitude – a deep appreciation for life’s often overlooked blessings.

Gratitude, in return, fuels humility. The more we express thanks, the more we recognize our interconnectedness and limitations. This understanding fosters deeper humility.

Together, humility and gratitude create a self-reinforcing cycle, each strengthening the other. This dynamic duo not only propels personal growth but also brings us closer to the core of spirituality, turning every humble acknowledgment and thankful moment into a step towards inner peace.

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Balanced sequence

Where does work-life balance start?

Obviously it starts with work, because it’s the first word, right?

Nyop.

Thinking about work-life balance as first balancing work and then attempting to balance life, is probably why we always feel imbalanced all the time.

So what to do then?

Invert it perhaps.

Start with life balance first. And within that, begin with the self.

Once we keep enough time for our own reading, prayers, meditation, chanting etc., our soul will feel nourished.

Then we can automatically be better and more humane with our families.

Which in turn will make us better at work. Balance achieved!

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Trusted, but how?

Everyone wants to be trusted. But how does one build this trust? How can one assume the role of a trusted advisor to someone else?

Here’s a super formula I came across in a training slide from one Simitri Group.

Trusted Advisor = (Trust + Liking) / Self-interest

How does one build trust? Trust comes from consistency, transparency, competence, reliability, and empathy.

And Liking? Liking comes from common interests, positive interactions, similar values, empathy, and active listening.

Self-interest, or rather not putting Self-interest first, is key.

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Mindful Marathon

Embarking on a marathon transcends testing physical stamina; the true challenge lies in cultivating muscle strength. This serves to ensure cramp prevention.

How does one do this? From nothing less than dedicated strength training.

Is there any dedicated strength training for the mind? Yes there is, and it is called satsang!

How?

By engaging in prayer, scriptures, chanting, and meditation.

In life’s marathon, achieving harmony between mental resilience and enduring muscles is the ultimate victory.

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Destination to where?

If you wanted to go to a particular city, and were standing at the station to get a ticket, what would be the most important info you’d need to give at the ticket counter?

The number of buffaloes in the destination?

The kind of cars that people drive there?

The type of cheese folks prefer to eat?

The types of buildings that city has?

Or…

Would it simply be the name of the place?

Surely the name, isn’t it?

As Saint Gondavalekar Maharaj says, such is the importance of nama. If we take the name of place to go to a destination, we must take the name of the Lord if we want to reach him.

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Blind faith or blind fate

It’s funny how many people hide behind the garb of “blind faith”. This is especially so when it comes to putting one’s religious or spiritual beliefs up.

While it is not possible to generalize, the younger generations are perhaps lesser connected to their roots compared to a few generations prior.

“It’s impossible for me to have blind faith in God. I’ll first need evidence.”

Where’s the evidence for gravity? It still exists though doesn’t it.

But the solution is really not about faith but about action. Spirituality and religion impact human beings at their core. Spirituality is experiential. If a certain process is followed as mentioned in the scriptures, the outcome will follow, no doubt about that. But how many people even give the process a try?

It’s easier to hide behind the veil of “blind faith” than to lift a finger. Such laziness will lead only to blind fate. Can’t be criticising the system then!

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Trimantra

Came across a book on mantras that presented an interesting distinction.

It said that there are 3 types of mantras. Sattvik, rajasik and tamasik. Yes you probably guessed that already the moment you read “3 types of”. Pretty much anything on Vedic spirituality can be categorized under these 3 buckets it seems.

What I found interesting, was that while the letters and words making up the mantras themselves may not be Sattvik, rajasik or tamasik, the intent of the one chanting perhaps makes it more so.

The book said that a tamasik mantra is one that is aimed at controlling and harming others. A rajasik mantra on the other hand is useful for our wants – a bigger house, a bigger car, more money, more fame etc.

And what’s a Sattvik mantra for? For all the good stuff, like progress in spirituality, for collective achievements such as the furtherance of dharma etc. Interestingly, even things like food, money and house etc. can be clubbed under Sattvik mantras, but only as long as these are basic needs. Once the focus graduates to greed, it’s not Sattvik anymore!

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Our man in dolce vita

There’s a super fun travel TV show called Our Man in Italy and the protagonist / anchor is a familiar one. James May, as we might know preciously as one of the 3 hosts of the superb automotive TV show called Top Gear, takes the helm here.

It’s great fun, because he travels from one country to another, and covers all the important cities and landmarks, giving us a vicarious look of what could be.

In Italy in particular, James is told to search for “la dolce vita”, or “the sweet life”.

What does this mean? Well usually it would be a lot of money, fame, wine, good cheese and pizza, a good house, and generally chilling. Seems sweet for sure.

But during the episode, James notices his own Italian guide simply staring at an old Vespa – one of the famous Italian manufactured 2-wheelers. The man is so in love with the Vespa that he continues to stare, unaware of the world whizzing past him.

Later on, he confides in James. “Buddy, who cares about money and wine and cheese. That Vespa moment was my dolce vita because I was completely at peace!”

What is your dolce vita?

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AIyo

Are we close to being overtaken by AIliens? Yes not the aliens from other planets, but the AI that we humans have created? Not that I have made any contributions whatsoever in the creation of AI, but it does collectively seem like quite an advancement in technology.

It may seem like AI and robots are taking over, but as a Tamilian would exclaim, the “aiyo” moment is probably not here yet. Here’s a piece I was reading from one FEI FEI Li, a computer scientist and a pioneer of the artificial intelligence boom.

"There's just so much complexity in human brain science that is still a mystery. We don't know how we do that in under 30 watts, the energy the brain uses. How come we're so terrible at math while we are so fast at seeing and navigating and manipulating the physical world? The brain is the infinite source of inspiration for what artificial intelligence should be and should do. I feel human intelligence should be the benchmark to judge Al and not the other way round."

There we have it. The One who has created us is far far ahead in this race for creation. In any case, anything we create is also a part of His creation only.

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Improved decision making

How does one make good decisions?

Well, it’s not easy for sure. And some would say that the decision itself doesn’t matter, much, and that it’s the follow through that’s truly critical.

But many people and organizations get stuck at the time of making a decision itself. Analysis paralysis. What to do in such cases?

Jeff Bezos the founder of Amazon provided a stellar method, in one of his letters to shareholders back in 2015.

He said that the focus should simply be on whether the decision is reversible or not. If it is, then go ahead, make a decision, and don’t waste further time on discussing whether the decision itself is the right one or not. Explore and exploit. If things don’t work out, the decision can anyway be reversed.

Of course, if the decision is irreversible, then take adequate care, planning and strategizing, before making the final call.

A great focus point I think, in order to keep moving ahead in life!

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Open center

There’s a lot of people who claim that their chakras or energy centers are open. Or have been opened.

This may or may not be true, and I for one certainly am no one to judge.

Some say their ajna chakra has been opened and that they can plunge into deep meditation instantaneously. Others focus on the mooladhara chakra and can go into deeper states.

Of course such things can and do happen. Even if words like kundalini might be thrown around recklessly and find much media attention, that does not imply it is apocryphal.

More critical, as my Guru often reminds us, is what such folks (and everyone in general) do after they snap out of their trances. Are they truly seeking the Self, or simply self-centered?

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Scientist’s religion

Here’s a cool anecdote I came across in a book (don’t remember the name unfortunately).

“I met a man a few days ago in Washington, D.C. who, while a student in Delhi, had met Dr. Radhakrishnan, the second President of India. He had asked Dr. Radhakrishnan “Sir, since you are also a great philosopher, can you explain the difference between science and religion, as there seems to be a contradiction between the two? Religion speaks of something that is not seen and people have faith in that. But in science one accepts only what one sees, so it appears that scientists are anti-religion and faithless.”

Dr. Radhakrishnan gave a very nice answer. He said, “A little science takes you away from religion but more of it brings you nearer religion.”

This suggests that scientific exploration can ultimately lead to profound spiritual understanding. It’s a reminder that the pursuit of knowledge, whether through science or spirituality, can lead to unexpected revelations about the world and ourselves.

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Smart work hard work

There’s this endless debate about smart work versus hard work. You know it. And I don’t have an answer for it unfortunately (else I’d already be atop the ladder of the billionaire lists you see!).

Lords Ganesha and Karthikeya also had a tiff on the same topic with the elephant headed one simply circumambulating his parents thrice instead of traveling the whole world.

But can one be more right than the other?

We are told to work hard, right from childhood. And it’s necessary. Then why pray? So many mantras and deities exist in India who are supposed to help deliver outstanding results. Just pray and all will be well no? No need to work hard only.

But there’s a catch! A mantras book I was reading gave a specific mantra for Goddess Lakshmi, which if recited, would bring extraordinary wealth. But the specifics? The mantra had to be chanted 100-thousand times, 5 times a day. That sounds like hard work to me too! No free lunches…

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Putting in the hours

Does praying a lot make one automatically divine?

Does sitting in a meditative pose for hours mean one will automatically reach Brahman?

Unlike investing, where time spent matters, in spirituality, time spent matters, but perhaps much less.

We know of asuras who spent insane numbers of hours in penance. But are they prayed to or well respected?

If time doesn’t matter, then what does?

Perhaps the intention of the prayer matters the most. As that would cleanly differentiate prayers of the bad versus the good, wouldn’t it?

A sadhana that is practiced for the enhancement of one’s own ego becomes asuric. As simple as that perhaps. And we know what ego means – not the pride that we associate the English word with, but rather the incorrect attachment to the body.

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Dutifully full

One must be fully focused on ones own duty. Ones swadharma. Lord Krishna calls this out in the 35th verse of the 3rd chapter of the Gita. Here’s an excellent take by Shri Vinoba Bhave in his book called “Talks on the Gita”. He gave these talks when he was jailed for being a part of India’s freedom fight movement!

It is not good for me to adopt another's dharma, however superior it may appear to be. I like sunlight. It helps my growth. I worship the sun. But my rightful place is here on this earth. If I leave the earth and try to get close to the sun, I would be burnt to ashes. Compared to the sun, the earth may appear worthless; it may not be self-luminous, still I should strive for self-development by staying on the earth, which is my rightful place, so long as I lack the capacity to stand the sun's powerful blaze. If someone were to say to a fish, "Milk is more luxurious than water. Come and swim in the milk", will it accept? It can survive in water only; in milk it will die.

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Big bang practice

Everyone knows the amazing TV show called The Big Bang Theory – a sitcom where socially awkward but extraordinarily brilliant scientists navigate life, love, and comic books, often proving that even geniuses don’t know everything about the real world!

In a prequel adaptation called Young Sheldon (the smartest scientist of the lot), his mother Mary posts a question.

Mary: Sheldon, faith means believing in something you can’t know for sure is real. And right now, I am struggling with that.
Sheldon: So you don’t believe in God anymore?
Mary: That isn’t something for you to worry about. I need to figure this out myself.
Sheldon: Can I help? Maybe I could provide a fresh perspective.
Mary: I don’t think so, baby.
Sheldon: Did you know that if gravity were slightly more powerful, the universe would collapse into a ball?
Mary: I did not.
Sheldon: Also, if gravity were slightly less powerful, the universe would fly apart and there would be no stars or planets.
Mary: Where you going with this, Sheldon?
Sheldon: It’s just that gravity is precisely as strong as it needs to be. And if the ratio of the electromagnetic force to the strong force wasn’t one percent, life wouldn’t exist. What are the odds that would happen all by itself?
Mary: Why are you trying to convince me to believe in God? You don’t believe in God.
Sheldon: I don’t, but the precision of the universe at least makes it logical to conclude there’s a creator.

Food for thought?

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G-force multiplier

Many people say that God will take care of everything. Or if they are in a rut, then no worries because their Guru will take care of everything. “All is well. All is always well.” But what does this really mean? Is this possible? Can a Guru sitting somewhere actually take care of everything?

Yes it is, and only experience can build such faith. There is no difference between Guru and God. As we know, poet Kabir das once said that if he had to fall at the feet of either of God or his Guru, and both were at his doorstep the same instant, he would choose his Guru. Why? Because the Guru is the one who taught him about God in the first place!

We can only perform our karma, our actions. Over 99.99% of what’s happening around us is not in our control. Who’s taking care of those, if not the divine?

In essence, embracing this belief is not about surrendering responsibility but recognizing a greater cosmic harmony. Our actions, infused with sincerity and purpose, become part of a grander scheme, orchestrated by the divine. The Guru, as a guide, reveals this interconnectedness, teaching us to see beyond the immediate. To trust in a larger plan.

So, while we navigate life’s complexities, we do so with a heart full of faith, understanding that, in the grand tapestry of existence, every thread is held and woven by a force much greater than ourselves. In this realization, we find not just solace, but a profound sense of being part of something infinitely vast, yet intimately connected to our every step. That’s the G-force.

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Historical anxiety

We think we are struggling with stress and anxiety today, despite seemingly having the best of the best that technology can offer.

Was this always the case?

Our existence is a tapestry rich with ancestral threads, spanning not just the last 400 years but reaching far deeper into the annals of human civilization.

Within just say the last 400 years alone, our lineage would include an astonishing 4,094 ancestors over 12 generations.

It begins with a vast network of 2,048 ninth great-grandparents and intricately narrows down through the generations, converging at our 2 parents. However, this is just a glimpse of our heritage, as human history extends much further back.

Every generation, from those 400 years ago to the dawn of civilization, faced its own set of trials, triumphs, and life stories.

These countless generations, their struggles, joys, and hopes, have interwoven to create our present.

So what are we anxious about really?

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Happyness funnyness

Here’s some timepass happiness jokes I came across…

Why don’t we ever give happiness a remote control? Because it’s always found within, and you can’t lose it between the couch cushions!

Why did the smartphone go to therapy? Because it thought happiness was an app, but then realized it’s always in ‘plane’ mode within us!

Why don’t emotions use GPS? Because happiness is not an external destination, but an internal journey!

Why did happiness refuse to play cards? Because it’s not about the hand you’re dealt, but how you feel inside!

Why don’t fish worry about being happy? Because they know the best joy is found in the current moment, not upstream or downstream!

Some were not that funny? Don’t worry, be happy!

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Mind it

What does the mind do?

We think that the mind thinks. But what is this thinking about?

Mostly the mind thinks about the past. Or else about the future.

If something has gone right, then the mind tries to find some flaw or fault in it.

If something has gone wrong, then the mind tries to extrapolate that into Armageddon.

The mind struggles to remain in the now, in the present.

Interestingly, all our scriptures say that the here and the now is where the mind should be. That is what leads to spiritual evolution. In the now, the mind doesn’t even have to think. It simply needs to witness.

Mind it, it’s easier said than done.

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12th fail…

…is the name of an exceptional movie that is now streaming on Disney Hotstar in India.

No spoilers, but it’s about the difficulties involved in cracking India’s toughest exam, the UPSC, and how it gets even tougher for those born not with a silver or golden spoon, but perhaps no spoon or plate at all.

It’s an incredible movie that everyone should watch. The level of motivation a viewer will get is just indescribable.

And you know the best part? The movie is entirely based on facts. Yes, a true story.

Learning about such stories only makes me think one thing. That if I’m not giving every ounce of my energy to do my best at whatever I’m doing, then I’m not just wasting my time, but also indirectly denying opportunities to hundreds or thousands or millions who could have done infinitely better should they have been in my position right now. And this is perhaps applicable to each one of us.

Here’s the link to the movie, if you’d like to know more! https://www.imdb.com/title/tt23849204/?ref_=ext_shr

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Froggy vision

In the vast expanse of what we believe we understand, there lies an unseen realm. Take the frog, for instance. Its eye, a marvel of nature, deciphers only essential cues for survival. It can spot stark contrasts, sudden light shifts, moving outlines, and dark shapes. But it cannot admire beauty like a sunset or recognize faces.

Our human eyes, intricate as they are, fall short too. We boast of comprehending everything until we ponder about bees detecting ultraviolet patterns on flowers or how owls navigate the dark. Each species possesses a tailored perception system vital for its existence. Dogs catch sounds we can’t, insects pick up scents from miles away and more.

Vedic spirituality echoes this idea—there’s a depth beyond our grasp. It humbles us, reminding us that our intellectual understanding has its limits. Just as the frog’s vision serves its survival, our perception, albeit broader, is still confined. The universe holds mysteries far beyond our discernment, urging us to embrace the boundless unknown.

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Old is sold

So a 1952 Ferrari 250 GTO sold for a staggering 51 million dollars a few weeks ago in New York.

Absolutely incredible.

I would have thought that cars are to go from point a to point b. And the latest cars have extraordinary gadgets in them, almost making them more computers than cars.

But a 70-something year old car going for 30x more than a brand new one? Bonkers indeed!

But someone still sees value in them. Why? I do not know. Maybe it’ll be part of some billionaire’s rare collection. Or else it’ll get sold for even higher some 30 years down the line, when the antique becomes antiqu-er!

But if old is sold, then old is also gold, which is what our scriptures are. If 70-year old things have this much value, imagine what value books that date back to 7000 years have! Truly the secrets to life. If only one (i.e., me) would read them, imbibe them and practise them…

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Pomo juice

There was an incredible item in the newspapers about a couple of decades ago. It read “RR creates petrol from pomegranate juice!”

RR was the initials of the chap, a supposed scientist, that achieved this incredible feat. Fuel from juice. Wow, talk about renewable energy, and that too some twenty years ago!

Well you know what say. If it’s too good to be true…

So a few weeks later, an errata was issued, which read, “RR creates petrol from pomegranate juice and petrol!”

Howzzat!

While this is funny no doubt, from a spiritual point of view, we are all RRs only.

Whatever we think we are creating, we are simply using what already ever existed aka God. No different from “RR creates creation from creation”!

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Simplified answer

In many schools of spirituality, there are discussions about mantras and lineages.

It is said that a mantra must be given by a Guru to specific disciple in a specific manner. Absolutely true I’m sure.

It is also said to vary from Guru to Guru, from lineage to lineage.

And the ways of chanting each mantra and the various things to focus on, and of course accompanying visuals and dreams and what not.

My Guru is very clear. “Let the lineage be anything, what will you do with it?”

“Have you given up your desires and attachments?”

It’s that simple, without which he says nothing else matters.

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Anchoring bias

Came across a lovely story today.

A guy goes for an interview. There are 3 interviewers on the panel.

The first interviewer tells the candidate that he’s in the middle of the ocean on a boat and that there’s a crazy storm outside. The boat could capsize. What would he do?

Our man answers, “I’ll throw in a large anchor and steady the ship sir”.

The second and third interviewers ask similar questions, each time simply increasing the intensity of the storm. Our hero consequently simply increases the size of his anchors!

The panel ask him, “Buddy, all that’s fine, but where are you going to get such large anchors from, on such a small boat and that too in the middle of the ocean?”

The reply is swift. “I get the big anchors from the same place you get your big storms. Where you source fear, I source hope!”

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Teammateship – part 4 of 4

We finish the insightful podcast journey with Shane Battier by exploring a surprising concept: embracing chaos.

Shane argues that injecting a controlled dose of chaos into a team or system can be a powerful tool for innovation and growth. By introducing new players with diverse perspectives and experiences, we can disrupt the status quo and spark creativity.

Think about it like adding a new ingredient to a recipe. It might shake things up a bit, but it can also lead to a delicious new dish. The same goes for teams and systems. By welcoming controlled chaos, we can break through old patterns and discover new ways of thinking about and doing things.

Of course, it’s important to find the right balance. Too much chaos can be destructive, but too little can stifle progress. The key is to be open to change and embrace new ideas, even if they seem unorthodox.

So, next time we’re feeling stuck in a rut, remember Shane’s words. Embrace the chaos, shake things up, and see where it takes us. We might be surprised by what we discover!

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Teammateship – part 3 of 4

As Shane explains during his conversation with Simon, achieving anything truly remarkable requires a deep desire and unrelenting pursuit of success. He shares his experience with the Spurs, where their hunger to win ultimately surpassed that of their opponents, leading them to several championships.

But Shane also warns that this hunger can fade after victory. He emphasizes the importance of maintaining a constant drive for improvement and a relentless desire to win more. He credits the Spurs’ continued success to their unwavering focus on getting better, even after reaching the top.

So, it’s not enough to just have the talent or the skills. We need that fire in our bellies, that burning desire to push ourselves and achieve something extraordinary.

Concluding post tomorrow, on how embracing controlled chaos can lead to unexpected breakthroughs!

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Teammateship – part 2 of 4

Back again today with another insightful tip from Shane Battier. This time, he’s sharing the key to staying focused and achieving peak performance, aka, the power of the “next play.”

We’ve all been there, right? Dwelling on past mistakes or getting too caught up in celebrating successes. But Shane says the key to staying on top of your game is to focus on the next play.

Think about it like this: every moment is a new opportunity to start afresh and give our best effort. Shane days, “Don’t let the past hold us back or let the future distract us. Just be present, focus on the task at hand, and give it our all.”

Shane even says this applies beyond sports, to everything in life. Whether you’re working on a project, studying for an exam, or just facing a personal challenge, it’s all about the power of the next play. It’s about taking things one step at a time and giving our best in each moment.

Tomorrow we explore the fuel that drives success: a burning hunger for greatness.

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Teammateship – part 1 of 4

Did you catch that awesome podcast with Simon Sinek and NBA champ Shane Battier? Never heard of Shane? Ya me too. But that’s the point! You know who all he played with? All the famous guys – LeBron, Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan etc. And yet hardly anyone’s heard of him.

He might not have been the top scorer, but guess what? He was always on teams that won the championship. And according to Shane, the secret sauce isn’t just about having a superstar leader. He believes that “teammateship” might be even more important.

Let’s think about it. Championship teams are more than just a collection of talented individuals. They’re a well-oiled machine where everyone trusts each other, helps each other out, and pushes each other to be better. They’re all working towards the same goal with a deep commitment to the team.

Shane used the San Antonio Spurs as a great example. They were known for taking players who weren’t quite there yet and turning them into valuable contributors. They created a culture where everyone felt valued and empowered, and guess what? They won a lot of championships!

So, the next time we’re working towards a goal, we can remember Shane’s words. It’s not all about having the best leader. It’s about building a strong team and supporting each other every step of the way.

Tomorrow: we’ll unlock Shane’s secret to staying focused and achieving peak performance!

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Aspirational heights

In ancient lore, mountains were realms of the divine, unreachable and mystical. Today, they stand as majestic challenges, echoing George Mallory’s sentiment on Everest: a mountain is to be climbed simply because it exists!

Our lives are dotted with such peaks, personal Everests that beckon us. They are not just physical heights but symbols of our highest aspirations and achievements. Victorian poet Robert Browning once mused that our reach should exceed our grasp, a reminder that true fulfillment lies in striving for the seemingly unattainable.

Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay’s triumph over Everest serves as a metaphor for overcoming life’s steepest challenges. It teaches us resilience, urging us to persist despite setbacks. For every mountain we face, whether in the physical or metaphorical sense, is a reflection of our potential to ascend beyond our limits, turning daunting challenges into triumphs of the human spirit.

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Gratityou’d

You’d be best served if you practice gratitude. That’s what every spiritual guru says. It’s also what our shastras / scriptures teach us.

The idea is simple. To identify basic things from our lives and be thankful for them. Got food on the table for all the 3 meals of the day? We’re already better off than maybe half the planet. Wow, what a start!

The moment we begin to look at the world this way, finding the positives in everything, the chances of our material success multiplies manifold. Why? Because negativity and self-doubt get booted out the door, one thought at a time, as we are thankful about more and more things going our way.

Life is all about how everything that happens is part of a long story of lessons. We may just need to appreciate the flow and learn from them teachings. This then automatically converts from material success to spiritual success. Because once we are grateful for everything, then we want nothing more, and eternal peace follows.

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Non-violent violence

The sanskrit word ahimsa is a misunderstood one.

It is commonly defined as non-violence, and the treatment suggested is to show the right cheek when the left one has just been smacked.

Does this make sense in today’s world of wars and mobs and rapes and riots?

Absolutely not.

Ahimsa doesn’t mean complete non-violence. Instead, it aims to minimize collective harm and maximize collective harmony.

In many contexts, ahimsa will require engaging in war in order to establish and protect or restore collective harmony.

Why else did Lord Krishna ask Arjuna to fight?

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4 letter word

One of the Presidential candidates in the US recently put out his daily schedule video.

It was insane.

He did some 7-8 townhalls in a single day, across multiple regions – starting way before sunrise and going non-stop (travel, speeches, Q&As, meets-n-greets etc.) all the way till well past midnight.

Only for it to all begin again the very next day.

He summarized it beautifully.

“LUCK is a 4-letter word that is spelt as W-O-R-K”

So powerful isn’t it? Time for me to get back to work now!

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Easy come easy go

Here’s a story about “no free lunches” that I really love.

A wandering saint and his disciple stumbled upon a town where everything, from diamonds to daggers, cost a mere penny. The disciple, lured by the easy life, refused to leave. The saint, knowing that true happiness wouldn’t bloom amidst such absurdity, continued on his journey alone.

The disciple reveled in his newfound fortune, oblivious of the looming storm. One day, a man injured by a falling brick wall sought justice. The king of the land, in a ludicrous series of senseless accusations, blamed a girl for singing distractingly, leading to the wall’s collapse.

As the noose was slack around the girl’s slender neck, the king, unable to hang her, demanded someone whose neck fit the noose. The once-thin disciple, now plump from his easy life, was thrust forward by the king’s guards.

In that moment, the saint reappeared and convinced the king, blinded by his foolishness, to hang himself instead, promising him a glorious rebirth. The disciple, finally understanding his folly, thanked the saint as they left the town, and lived forever changed.

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Kety Perry

If you had a net worth of a million dollars, would you be happy? Depends on your position and privilege of course. But statistics from 2022 show that just 0.7% of the entire ~8 billion population in the world are millionaires. That’s it. So there’s 99.3% of 7.94 billion people who would be incredibly ecstatic if they got a million dollars.

Matthew Perry, was an outstanding actor, known for his role as Chandler Bing in the hit sitcom Friends. Personally, I loved Friends, and loved the Chandler character. Matthew Perry brought incredible wit to the character.

He passed a few weeks ago. Apparently from overdosing on ketamine, which is used to treat addictions and mental health problems. Surely he was a wonderful human being. He was also a millionaire, or a hundred-millionaire, with a net worth of over $120 million.

If there’s one takeaway, then it is that money and fame and success are not guarantees of happiness. Maybe flipping this around might help. True happiness could guarantee some or all of these things. Who knows?

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Latent tendencies

There’s a concept called vasanas in Indian spirituality, or latent tendencies. It refers to deep-rooted karmic imprints that tend to dictate our lives. Assuming one believes in reincarnation, then the soul or consciousness or Atman or Brahman pervades everything. But the mind goes from body to body, from one life to another.

Which is why maybe someone who died of drowning many lifetimes ago is still instinctively scared of drowning, even if they’ve never really been in the water much.

In a video I was watching where the speaker was a very accomplished tantric upasaka, he spoke of various practices and rituals he performs. He also spoke of the various deities he has personally experienced.

All in all, a very spiritual person, clearly on a very advanced plane. Pun intended, because while all his sadhanas have made him absolutely fearless in facing demons and what not, he still sheepishly confessed that he is very scared of traveling by plane!

That’s vasanas at play, and it doesn’t leave even those who are far ahead on the spiritual journey!

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Back to the suture

What is our life, but a tapestry of experiences, all stitched together by time?

Most people would give an arm and a leg (many sutures notwithstanding) to go back in time and relive their childhood.

But not everyone. There are some that would happily live in the today. But is that because they are mindful and spiritual? Or it is because they hate their childhood and are far better off today?

Then there are some that constantly live in the times to come. Neither happy with their childhood, nor happy with the way things are unfolding today. Ever writing in their minds, a chapter that has yet to be written.

As Vedanta teaches us, eveything around us is maya only. Yes we see life as a tapestry of experiences, but in reality, these are a string of lifetimes, of which we remember only a tiny part.

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Stressbuster

Within life’s intricate dance, Dada J P Vaswani crafts a transformative roadmap to conquer stress, encapsulated in a powerful acronym:

  • S: Smile
  • T: Tolerance
  • R: Relax
  • E: Easy
  • S: Service
  • S: Silence

Each element unfolds as a key to serenity and spiritual growth. Cultivate a perpetual smile, foster tolerance, embrace relaxation, adopt an easy-going stance, engage in selfless service, and practice silence for divine connection.

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Parking problem

With a small car in an insanely congested city, I thought car owners face a daily nightmare. Not just while driving, but perhaps worse, while parking.

I thought money would solve the problem, because with a lot of money, you buy some parking space, and poof, problem gone.

But apparently with more money, people buy more cars and bigger cars, and that only makes the parking problem worse.

But I read an article yesterday on Mr. Bezos’ mega-yacht, which apparently also suffers from the same parking problem! One of the richest men in the world has a parking problem?!

His yacht costs a cool 500 million dollars, is 400 feet long, and effectively cannot be parked with other yachts. Why? Because it’s too big! They had to dismantle a bridge to let it pass and that was met with fierce opposition that the yacht is now parked with larger ships out in the deeper sea.

Does money truly solve all problems? Or bring up new ones that one could have never even imagined!?

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Heavenly pitch

Every time I watch some cricket, I can’t help but feel the pull towards being more devoted to God.

What’s the connection, you might ask?

Well whenever a batsman scores a 100 runs, or if a bowler takes an important wicket, they implicitly look up to the heavens, thanking the Gods up there for their mercy.

This might seem like a simple gesture. It might even seem reflexive, almost part of a ritual ever since the first times the players of today saw their own idols doing the same on the pitch many decades prior to them.

But the thought of dedicating a small victory to the Infinite Divine is still outstanding.

I wonder about myself then. If and when a small victory does come my way in my own line of work, do I quickly look up in gratitude? Or do I first pat myself on the back for a job well done?

Mostly the latter I think, hopefully someday it’ll be the former.

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Pricing power

Imagine you could buy a dress for 100$. Do you think it’s worth it? It might be. Depends on so many factors – quality of the material, the brand on the tag, the end-use, like for a wedding or for a party, or just for home use?

Prices tell us a lot. But is there a price tag for after buying the item?

There is, but it is usually invisible. Like the cost of maintaining the item. A little lesser for a dress, a little more for a car, and perhaps substantially more for a home!

So there’s one price tag we see, and one we don’t.

It’s no different when we look at those around us who seem to have what we so desperately want. Their success, their wealth, their happiness, their fame. We sometimes don’t even see any price tags. As though we should have their success by default.

But even if we do see their visible price tags, what about the invisible ones? All the anxiety and jealousy and constant looking-over-the-shoulder that such success brings?

There’s an invisible price tag for sure. We just need to be cognizant of it!

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Time machinations

In the lovely Netflix series called Better Call Saul which is a prequel to the super hit Breaking Bad, there’s a tense yet funny moment.

Saul asks a bunch of people what they’d do if they could build a time machine and go into the past. What would they change?

Everyone thinks up some moment and goes on to say that they would go back in time and do this or change that.

When Saul poses the same question to a scientist known as Walter White (fans know he’s no ordinary scientist!), the response is incredible!

Walter first reprimands Saul for asking about scienfitic impossibilities. “Time machine? Of course there’s no way such a thing can ever exist.”

He then proceeds to tell Saul what he’s actually looking for. That he simply wants to recount times where he regretted what he did in the past. And that he just wants to get his regret off his chest. So what he’s searching for is not a time machine, but a regret machine.

Regrettably true, isn’t it?

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Happy crappy

Do we feel happy most of the time? Or crappy? Perhaps the latter, isn’t it?

Maybe it’s because we are constantly focused on the past. Thinking of things we could have done differently, aiming to jettison all regrets.

Or maybe it’s because we are constantly focused on the future. Thinking of the infinite permutations and combinations of a life that is yet to unfold. Can we control all of it? Most of it? Any of it?

We can instead give the highest priority to God right now, and become more and more aware of His presence in our lives. This will prove to us by self-experience that we are an integral part of a divine plan. We don’t need to demand for anything then, because by surrendering to the Lord, everything is automatically being take care of.

Instead of a fast mind and slow actions, these will invert, and peace will follow.

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Bridge of wisdom

Once, a massive elephant traversed a rickety bridge over a roaring river. Amidst the creaks of the old bridge, a small ant perched on the elephant’s trunk claimed that their combined weight almost shattered the bridge. Unfazed by the ant’s misconception, the elephant chose peace over proving a point, and simply agreed that yes the ant’s contribution to the total weight on the bridge was indeed massive.

The elephant’s tranquil response echoed a timeless wisdom: the futility of ego-driven conflicts. Yet, blindly mirroring the elephant’s response might not fit every scenario. Life demands a nuanced approach, where humility intertwines with assertiveness.

Striving for inner calm amidst ego clashes remains pivotal. However, discernment plays a role, determining when to stand firm and when to maintain serenity.

The tale of the elephant and the ant on the bridge whispers a lesson beyond ego battles—a subtle reminder to balance peace with assertiveness in the symphony of life.

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Full body glory

Had gone for my full body annual check-up this week.

They took a fair amount of blood to run various tests.

It’s astonishing how the body survives without that kuch blood. But it’s equally astonishing how so much blood manages to stay within the body, unless poked and collected like red wine in a glass!

Various instruments to test various things, but all only to see if things are running as they should be. No clue of why or how they came to exist in such a state. Who created this wonder?

Oh and the 2D Echo scan to check the heart. The doctor switched on his speakers to listen to my beating heart. Wow what a sound it was. Thumping away at breakneck-yet-measured speed and ensuring that the rest of the body has every drop of it blood it needs. Not just today, but incessantly since the day of our births.

And this maniacal rush of activity can’t be heard by anyone. Not by you. Not by your friends and family. Not even by your own ears. Glory to the Creator for this full body Creation!

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Tech transfer

Tech is awesome, but it can detrimental as well. We know this intuitively already, because we each experience the good and bad sides of tech on a daily basis.

One of the bad things that people speak of is addiction to TV series and the associated binge watching (guilty even without being charged!).

But incredibly, there are some outstanding devotional TV channels and programs as well. Just ask the older generation. It’s a life savior for those who are spiritually inclined.

What’s amazing is how tech is actually helping. Some of my family members were discussing how they’ve never had the chance to be at some spiritual sites during specific times. Like on a mountain top where just a handful of people are allowed to witness a particular ritual. And now? There are drones capturing the same thing live and beaming it to every home and mind that is open to it. Are we?

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Victoriously defeated

We often look at all things in dualities.

If we haven’t won something, then we’ve lost it.

If we haven’t succeeded at something, then we’ve failed.

But are we sure of this?

Many things in spirituality are inverted. If we win something, what really wins and gets boosted? Only our egos!

And everyone knows what happens to a big ego.

Lord Rama was neither happy when he was told he will be the next King of Ayodhya, nor was he sad when he was asked to go to the forest in exile.

True victory is the victory of the self over one’s mind and senses, no matter the external circumstance. Everything else is defeat only!

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Octodegenarian

Came across a live anecdote yesterday.

There’s some 50 odd octogenarians in a particular place.

They’ve all been there for ages. All living comfortably. Their kids are working in various cities, within the country or abroad, all well settled. Heck, even their grand kids are well settled!

No reason for these folks to be unhappy at all. A life well lived, if there was such a thing.

But old isn’t always gold. Said grandpas and grandmas are in the hunt for nothing less, than gold, in the form of real estate.

There’s some plots of land that these 80 year olds collectively own, and which are now set of go for re-development. Not everyone gets the same value though, for various reasons, and the same happy bunch has now been plunged into anxiety and anger and jealousy. All over some property that will add no real value to these people. When will humanity learn?

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Mischief maker

Some YouTube videos are just incredibly cute.

Especially the ones where there are guilty dogs. Who’ll chew up the whole sofa, and then go and hide. Or even point at some other innocent dog, as though they had no part in the mischief whatsoever!

This sleight of hand (or paw) by the guilty dogs is no different than what we do perhaps.

Who’s the real mischief maker? The other guy of course. Or the other entity. Or the other situation. Or to generalize, it’s the world at large.

Asked again, who’s the real mischief maker?

It’s always our own minds.

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Hunger pangs

In the Hindu epic Ramayana, Lord Rama encounters Kabandha, a demon cursed with insatiable hunger. In fact he has no head, and a mouth directly in his stomach. Kabandha symbolizes the relentless greed seen in many professionals today. Despite consuming everything, the hunger persists, mirroring a desire for endless accumulation. Similarly, some so-called leaders prioritize personal gain, exploiting workers and the environment without ethical considerations.

Contrastingly, Lord Rama embodies selflessness, compassion, and humility. His focus is on service, not amassing wealth or power. Everyone can learn from Rama’s values—prioritizing others, embracing honesty, transparency, and environmental responsibility. Contentment, rather than ceaseless ambition for personal gain, should guide them.

Emulating Lord Rama, one can break the Kabandha-like cycle, fostering a more just and sustainable world.

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Mousika vaahana

Here’s an unbelievable story.

I was out for an errand.

As I was walking back, I saw a dog just in front of me. I was thinking about how I’d heard on a recent podcast that those who pray to Bhairav baba often find themselves in the vicinity (and affinity) of dogs.

But this dog? Nope, he couldn’t care less about me, and it’s not like I’ve been praying devotedly to Bhairav ji either.

But my mind quickly wandered to my Ishta Devata, Shri Siddhivinayaka as guided by my Guru to many satsangis. This elephant-headed deity’s vaahana is mooshika, or the mouse. I wondered to myself, “damn, having dogs around me would be cool, but having mice around me? Scary! Unless them mice would be friendly or something.”

Almost momentarily, a fat little rat bounced along the center of the road, crossing, then going back, and trying to cross again, then zig-zagging. A car came by really quickly, but the driver thankfully saw the rat and he slowed down. Not enough to stop however, and he zoomed off. Only I could see how close a shave it was for the rat. The lucky escapee quickly crossed and went off to the other side.

Incredible. And all coincidence only of course. Isn’t it?

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Where do you go, my lovely?

There’s a song from my childhood called “where do you go, my lovely”. My childhood not because it was from my era, but my father used to hum that tune when it would come on the radio.

While watching some videos on ancient Indian temples today on youtube, this song came to mind.

Whats the connection? Perhaps nothing much.

But I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed looking at the insane number of devotees thronging these temples. It’s no different when I’m at a temple myself. There’s always hordes of people often in various groups, all dressed in similar clothes. One glance will tell us they are rich. Not at all rich by money, but very rich by devotion.

They will often travel ridiculous distances by foot, simply to catch a nanosecond glimpse of their favorite deity. What incredible faith they have. And so many of them!

Where do they come from? What do they come for? Where do they go, my lovely?

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Devi calling devi – part 2 of 2

We were lucky that the 2-mins-away Devi temple was open when we reached. We parked and climbed up the 200-or-so stairs leading to the shrine.

One lady in our group was the one who was really keen on visiting this temple. Actually she was drawn to the other devi temple that I’d mentioned yesterday. But that one was way off-route, and we just couldn’t travel that far. This seemed like some sort of consolation prize.

As we reached the top flight of stairs, there was a notice-board explaining the history of the temple. The Devi idol was a swayambhu, ie, it manifested itself rather than be created by any human. A great king living in the area many hundreds of years ago used to travel to the other far-away Devi temple in his youth. But as age got to him, he was unable to travel. The Devi appeared in his dream, and told him about this 2-min-away temple and that he can pray here instead.

Needless to say, the lady in our group was absolutely ecstatic, what with her unable to travel far enough either, only to come across this very similar story of the king. A case of Devi calling devi.

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Devi calling devi – part 1 of 2

A lot of spirituality happens only when we truly open our eyes and minds and look. Here’s a recent incident to someone I know and was on a trip with. The incident could be passed off as coincidence. Or maybe not.

We were considering going to a specific Devi temple on a trip, but couldn’t, because it was quite far off from our route.

While a bit disappointed, we did continue the rest of our journey. Enroute a few days later, someone who didn’t know about our plans to see a Devi temple pointed out that our route had another devi temple and that we could go there.

It so happened that this new Devi temple was exactly 2 minutes away from another place we were supposed to visit!

And so we quickly made our way there, thanking the Devi mentally for arranging this unexpected darshan.

Continued tomorrow!

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Will free

Does free will exist? Yes of course it does. That’s why you get to choose whether to drink tea or coffee while reading this post. Or maybe you choose not to drink either.

One might say though that hey, tea or coffee isn’t significant enough for a heavy topic like free will. Yes, unless coffee messes up one’s system and leads to a few missed days at work?

Anyway, that’s all conjecture.

More importantly, although Lord Krishna himself hints in various places about free will (such as “Arjuna get up and fight!”), does it really truly exist?

Perhaps it does. But we are also victims of our own pasts, and by extension, victims of ourselves. Everything lies squarely on us. If we’ve built up many lives of conditioning towards certain responses, experiences and situations, then can we really use our free will to change? Will we?

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Computer literacy

Here’s a very commonly used but absolutely spot-on analogy between computers and spirituality.

A Computer / laptop is like the physical body.

A USB drive is like the mind.

Electricity is like the soul.

Between lives, the mind moves from one body to another, taking with its past experiences and emotions.

No different from a USB being plugged in from one laptop to another.

And electricity is always present to power any laptop or computer with any usb drive.

Just like the eternal soul aka atman aka Brahman is omnipresent, constantly powering, animating and enlivening everything.

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Penny pinchers

Came across one social media post today by some influencer.

The person apparently stopped at a tire shop after one tire went flat.

This shop was in a very rural area, and the old man who was apparently very poor soon helped fix the tire, and asked for some 20 rupees (25 cents).

Our influencer said he didn’t have change, and handed over a 500 rupee ($6) note, to which the old man asked him to come by next time and pay him, whenever that would be, if at all.

Mr. Influencer is touched, and goes hunting for change, and comes back with 20 rupees and is delighted enough to not just pay the man some pennies, but also write a long post about it, which is further liked and shared by thousands.

Surely said influencer made a decent amount just from the views of his one post. But he still couldn’t part with his 500 rupees to help that poor old man. Reality is quite divorced from reality these days!

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Locational devotional

Was listening to a tantric expert on a podcast recently. Many of the things he said were mesmerising. And he knew it.

Like what? Like him sitting in a cremation ground and doing his sadhana (spiritual practices and rituals). Or him entering other dimensions and interacting with ethereal beings. And so on.

Fascinating for sure.

But he also made one thing very clear.

That the location is not important, at least not at first. He said that many people get carried away (or carried towards!) simply by hearing about things like cremation ground sadhana. But he repeated twice. If one cannot do their sadhana with devotion in their own puja rooms at home, then there is no chance of achieving anything anywhere else.

Charity, and seemingly spirituality, begin at home!

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Munger Hunger

How tenacious can humans be? How much will power do they have? How likely are they to stand back up when life has pushed them to the ground and glued them there? How hungry can one be, to not just survive, but also thrive?

The world lost investing guru Charlie Munger today, who died peacefully in his sleep at the graceful age of 99. While people would know him as a billionaire and a great investor who worked closely with Warren Buffet, not everyone knows about his tough early life.

At 29, Charlie was divorced from his wife of 8 years. The lady took everything, including his family home. He was almost plunged into poverty. Apparently he had a dirty old car he’d drive around. His daughter Molly Munger once asked him, “Daddy, this car is just awful, a mess. Why do you drive it?” The broke Munger replied: “To discourage gold diggers.”

Post the divorce, Charlie learned his 9 years old son had leukemia, and eventually lost him to it. He didn’t even have the money to pay for his treatment.

Later in life, a botched operation left him blind in one eye, and in so much pain he had to have the eye removed.

But despite all this, Charlie by age 69 became one of the richest people in the world, was married to his second wife for over 30 years, had 8 kids, many grandkids and was respected across borders by one and all.

Tenacity at its best!

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Scholastic

Most parents of young kids today discuss only one thing when they meet up – about the schools that their kids attend.

Whether it is this curriculum or that, whether it has 2 playgrounds or 3, whether it has an Olympic sized swimming pool or not, whether the music room has western instruments or only eastern, whether the labs are equipped with the latest equipment or aren’t. And of course no discussion would be complete without talking about the ridiculously high school fees required to support such lavishness.

While all this education is phenomenal in imparting an ability to create wealth, is it enough to provide lasting happiness? Is there any guidance towards achieving man’s true objective here in human form?

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Unfamous 5

The famous 5 of Enid Blyton fame, are, well, famous! But there’s another 5 that aren’t. Not people, but qualities. And funnily enough, these 5 are accessible within each one of us!

Thích Nhất Hạnh, the Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, emphasized five strengths for cultivating and harnessing inner powers in dharma practice:

  • Faith
  • Diligence
  • Mindfulness
  • Concentration
  • Insight

These strengths are inherent in us but may remain unrecognized until consciously cultivated. They serve to empower and enrich our spiritual journey.

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Paws and praise

For anyone who has a dog at home, homecoming transforms into a celebration. The doorbell unleashes fervent barks.

Before you know it, a blur of fur—your dog—outpaces any human, offering a welcome fit for royalty, conveyed in wags and jumps.

This daily ritual, far from ordinary, is an unwavering expression of pure joy.

Your four-legged companion’s greeting erases fatigue, replacing it with a heartwarming spectacle of affection.

Their boundless enthusiasm is a masterclass in mindfulness, reminding us to cherish the present moment with unguarded delight.

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Animanly

Life is a journey meant for more than mere indulgence in pleasures. While savoring life’s joys is essential, it’s not the sole purpose. What sets humans apart is the gift of intellect, the ability to comprehend and ponder. This faculty leads us to seek the truth beneath surface perceptions.

In Sanskrit, the distinction between humans and animals is strikingly clear. ‘Pašu’, the word for animal, implies one who merely ‘sees’, perceiving things at face value, without delving deeper for truth. For them, utility lies in edibility or survival value.

Likewise, the English term ‘man’ finds its roots in Sanskrit’s ‘manusya’, denoting a human being. Derived from ‘mann’, meaning ‘to think’, it emphasizes that a human’s role transcends mere physical observation; it demands contemplation of the deeper truth. Thus, the essence of human existence lies in the pursuit of Truth, beyond mere enjoyment.

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Educated ignoramuses

This is the term my Guru uses to label all pseudo-intellectuals.

What is the meaning of this?

There are so many people who are far more conventionally educated than most Gurus.

Some of the most advanced Gurus may not have ever even gone to school or had a formal education.

So what does education mean? Is it just fancy MBAs or PhDs?

For pseudo-intellectuals, yes it might be!

But what is true education then? That depends on what we want to, nay, should learn. What should we learn then?

About our purpose on this earth. About our human birth, and what we are expected to do with it. About how to live up to our true potential.

Is this what formal education teaches us?

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Ruin booin

Everyone wants money. How much? More than too much. Having money is easy? Here’s a perspective:

The great investor Charlie Munger was once asked by one of his rich friends if leaving his kids a bunch of money would ruin their drive and ambition.

“Of course it will,” Charlie said. “But you still have to do it.”

“Why?” the friend asked.

“Because if you don’t give them the money they’ll hate you,” Charlie said.

Isn’t he just so much on point?

Imagine this. You have all the money possible. And then your kids either lose ambition or hate you. A smart cookie might say the best combo would be to have a lot of money and no kids. But everyone who has kids say that it’s the best feeling ever. And they’d gladly exchange their money to keep their kids. So want more money, honey?

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F for fear F for faith

We each fear death the most. If that fear goes, then every other fear can be managed.

How can we not fear death? Well everyone must go one day, but the antidote to the fear of death is the faith in God.

Why?

Because we are implicitly playing God, when we fear death. Wondering when that death will come and how. That’s why we are constantly worried about whether we will live or not. Isn’t that playing God? What if we would surrender that duty to God by having full faith in Him?

Ironically, we do have faith even if we think we don’t. Because we go to bed each night with the faith that we will wake up the next morning.

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Re Inc.

Would you want to live your whole life again, from scratch, including all the bad parts?

What if that life would be only the bad parts!?

Imagine going through grades 1 to 12 of school, all over again. Damn, I don’t even know how I managed to clear them once!

And then college and university.

And then all the bad interactions with so many people and all the other traumatic experiences.

It of course could have been a lot worse. But it’s not.

So ideally one should use this opportunity to improve our position, and work towards never having to come back, and re-do all this. The choice is ours. But most choose to stay permanent employees of Re Inc(arnated)!

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The idea of a thing vs the thing itself

It’s easy to mistake the mental image of an object or experience for the real thing. For instance, the idea of money is often associated with success and security. However, money itself is just paper or numbers in a bank account. The value we attribute to it comes from societal constructs. Similarly, happiness is frequently visualized as a life filled with laughter, vacations, and luxuries. Yet, true happiness is an internal state of contentment that can exist even in simplicity.

This distinction is important because when we chase the idea of something, we may miss out on the genuine essence of that thing. A person might accumulate wealth but still feel insecure, or chase moments of joy but never find lasting happiness. The map is not the territory; understanding this difference can lead us to more authentic and fulfilling experiences.

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Right turn

In the Ramayan, post-war, Hanuman rushes to inform Sita of their victory. Arriving, he’s tempted to avenge the rakshasis for tormenting Sita, but she halts him, narrating a stirring tale instead.

A man, fleeing a tiger, scales a tree, disturbing a resting bear. The tiger urges the bear to push the man down for a meal, but the bear, valuing hospitality, refuses. When the tiger coaxes the man to shove the bear, he tries but fails. The bear, resilient in righteousness, denies the tiger’s renewed plea to harm the man, imparting a timeless lesson: no evil should deter the righteous from their virtuous path.

Righteousness, demanding yet dignifying, holds an immortal essence celebrated across cultures and festivals.

Righteousness is not the easy choice, but it’s the revered one, crafting legacies of honor echoing through ages.

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Kidults

I’m really not making this up. Imagine adults coloring intricate books, building forts with blankets, or having themed dress-up parties. It’s adults immersing themselves in children’s activities, seeking a slice of nostalgia and pure joy.

Real-world stores now cater to this, offering adult-sized ball pits, wall doodling sessions, and even crafting workshops reminiscent of our school days.

But here’s a thought: why did we ever distance ourselves from such simple pleasures?

Life’s demands shouldn’t push the child within us into obscurity.

Embracing a childlike demeanor – filled with wonder, non-judgment, and forgiveness – is not about immaturity, but about cherishing life’s moments.

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Deathly wish

The Gita in the 8th chapter says (Antakaaleti…) that whatever one thinks of at the time of death is what they will attain in their next birth.

Is this a loophole? Can one live a life callous about values and morals, and yet achieve salvation simply by thinking of the Lord at the last moment?

“Not so fast buddy”, is what Krishna seems to suggest.

Firstly, a life devoid of spirituality is highly unlikely to result in remembrance of the Lord at the time of death.

Secondly, in chapter 14, verse 14, Krishna makes it amply clear that it is the dominant guna that makes its appearance at death. This is not difficult to understand either. If the life lived has had only tamasik and rajasic gunas, then how can one expect sattva guna to dominate only at the time of death?

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Sharky

You know all these NatGeo and Discovery ocean documentaries? They show some outstanding footage of what happens in the depths of the deep blue.

But I realized one thing. Even though many creatures hunt for a living, they don’t necessarily have a high success rate. A shark might try to capture its prey many times, but it too fails often.

So a quote I came across today (for humans, not sharks!) was on point:

“Self-reflection is how one loses their edge. A shark keeps swimming.”

It probably makes sense to introspect once in a while. But only introspecting and never taking action? Not a good idea.

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Gunateetha…is what? – part 2 of 2

We say yesterday how when one is free of the body-mind complex, one becomes a gunateetha. But how does one practically achieve this?

Krishna answers in the 14th Chapter of the Gita: “Through single-pointed, unswerving devotion!”

A doubt might arise. “But we see so many devotees around us, thronging temples and prayer halls. But they all also don’t seem that happy in their own lives – definitely not like what gunateethas are supposed to be…”

Great catch!

The focus word here therefore is “single-pointed” and/or “unswerving” aka unwavering.

As devotees, do we focus exclusively on the Lord? Or do we give him a small slice of time – like a few minutes a day or week? Is He the first thought we wake up with and the last thought we sleep with? And what of the millions of thoughts in between?

There is much introspection to be done for me!

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Gunateetha…is what? – part 1 of 2

So there are some terms in the Bhagavad Gita that are a bit difficult to practically imagine.

Like Gunateetha. A person who is beyond the Gunas. It’s hard enough for most people to come out of Tamasik guna (indolence) or Rajasik guna (high energy) and move towards Sattva guna (harmony). But then the best state according the Lord Krishna is one where the individual has transcended all the 3 gunas altogether!

How does such a gunateetha even function then? How is such a person to be recognized?

In the 14th Chapter, the Lord spills the beans.

He clarifies that the gunas are only associated with prakriti or the world around us, including our bodies and minds. As long as we associate with the body and mind, we will always be under the influence of the gunas.

And therefore by extension, when one is free of the body-mind complex, one becomes a gunateetha!

And how to do this? Concluded tomorrow!

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Lightenment

It’s Deepavali again. This beautiful festival comes year after year, with just one aim. Which is?

Well in the essence of tradition, Deepavali celebrates the joyous return of Prince Rama to Ayodhya, marking the end of his 14-year exile. Symbolically, it mirrors our contemporary journey, as we navigate challenges akin to Ram’s banishment from his realm of peace and prosperity. Deepavali, at its core, signifies the victory of good over evil (including inside us). The lighting of lamps illumines not just the world outside but our very souls. Amidst the festivities, our actions carry profound symbolism.

Cleaning the house becomes a metaphor for purifying our minds, discarding emotional stains of the past.

Donning new clothes and household items symbolizes the ushering in of newness as we transform our thinking and behavior.

Exchanging gifts takes on a profound meaning, offering each other the priceless blessings of pure thoughts and feelings.

Savouring sweets becomes a pledge to sweeten our words with love and respect (while also adding to the waistline!).

Starting new account books reflects our resolve to reconcile past issues and embrace acceptance.

Happy Deepavali!

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Tip sip

Came across an interesting anecdote today from a well-traveled friend.

In most parts of the world, he said that anyone in the service industry will be happy when they are tipped for their quality of service. A few extra bills and the smile on their faces would be telling.

In a few countries however, tipping is a requirement, a mandate, no matter what. “If you don’t tip”, he said, “they can even become angry and abusive!”

In Japan however, he said tips are actually frowned upon. It is culturally insensitive to offer tips to waiters, taxi drivers, hotel boys and anyone else.

Why? Because they believe that they need to do their best at work irrespective of any additional incentives, and they also trust the original bill that is charged is all-inclusive.

Good service begins in the mind!

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Embracing TIME

Jay Shetty’s book Think Like a Monk has an interesting acronym: TIME.

It represents four transformative habits: Thankfulness, Insight, Mindfulness, and Exercise.

Thankfulness encourages recognizing life’s blessings.

Insight propels a journey within for deeper understanding.

Mindfulness invites present-centered awareness.

Exercise emphasizes physical well-being.

Integrating TIME into our daily regimen can steer us towards holistic wellness and enduring happiness, enriching our journey towards a fulfilling existence.

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The Lasso Way

Apple TV has an outstanding series called Ted Lasso, which we’ve discussed before. Season 3, the last and final one, just concluded. It was super. No big spoilers below, but don’t read if you don’t want to!

Trent Crimm, originally a harsh newspaper critic of Ted Lasso, turns over a new leaf, and even writes a book, called “The Lasso Way.” He then requests both Coach Lasso and Coach Beard for their feedback.

The contrast couldn’t be more pronounced. While Coach Beard’s feedback is direct and detailed, Ted Lasso, true to his character, simply writes that everything is perfect. He also adds, that the only suggestion he has, is to change the name of the book, because it was always about the team, and never about him.

If only everyone would be so kind and understanding!

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Medical spirituality

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor!

But from my experience going to some, generally we would have some problem, like say a stomach ache. We don’t go to a plumber for this, although a leaky gut might need some plumbing of another kind. The doctor would have to be a general physician at first and then maybe a gastroenterologist. And the all important medicine? Some specific tablet or syrup that only the doctor can prescribe.

Our life’s problems are no different.

What is the illness? Samsara, aka our dependence on external factors for attaining and maintaining happiness. Who’s the doctor? This one is easy, the Guru of course! And the medicine? Scriptures, spirituality, devotion, God… take your pick.

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Bra’war’y

It’s amazing sometimes, the bravery I see around me.

So many politicians, especially those fighting for justice, are willing to step up and speak up. Unafraid of the consequences.

Don’t they have a family? Of course they do, and yet they do their duty in unimaginably bold ways.

With the recent wars that have broken out, most people would be fleeing the scene. But I see brave men and women who work as journalists running towards the battlefield!

Such level of bravery is mind boggling. Many spiritual masters do suggest that one should be completely fearless. Like a fight for dharma. Because ultimately we are not the body or mind.

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Adjudicater

Know who should be the judge of any court? We each of course! Because we are born judg-ers!

Ever found yourself silently judging? We see someone act, and instantly, there’s a mental thumbs-up or thumbs-down. We all do it, right?

Guru Sri Sri Ravishankar suggests imagining judgments as breezes, brief and passing. That there’s something freeing about being immersed in love and compassion, where these judgments lightly touch and go. They guide our choices, like picking the freshest apples from a market, and shaping the company we keep. Some folks lift us up, others not so much.

It’s quite the journey, this dance with judgments. Can we completely eliminate it? Sri Sri says it’s not possible unless we attain the state of Being, as then we are always full of love and compassion.

What’s your take?

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Bent Lee

There was a clickbaity article recently on a man who asked to be buried after his death along with his 1 million dollar Bentley. And obviously I clicked on that clickbait (how else would such folks make money if not for suckers like me!).

I couldn’t imagine why anyone would think that they could take their car with them. Maybe to coolly cruise past the gates of heaven?

As it so happens, Mr Lee’s (don’t know his name, so we can call him Mr. Lee) brain was not bent out of shape. Quite the contrary actually.

He was trying to use his Bentley to bring awareness to people about the noble opportunity of organ donation. We feel we may useless after death, but actually the death of one person (inevitable to all) may bring life to another. Well bent sir!

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Utterly butterly

What’s a lovely analogy to understand the concept of soul and atman and other similar confusing terms?

The Amritabindu Upanishad of course!

Here’s an outstanding 4-liner:

Cows are of various colors, milk is one-colored,
the wise man looks upon soul as milk,
of bodies as cows of different garbs,
knowledge is hidden, as butter in milk

Utterly butterly delicious!

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Humble mumble

Came across a powerful, self-explanatory and yet profound line today.

Humility is a powerful virtue that involves thinking of oneself less, rather than thinking less of oneself.

That’s it. That’s the post for today. Much to reflect on!

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Mumukyearning

There’s a lovely sanskrit word called mumukshatwam. It refers to a deep yearning for liberation.

So deep, that the yearning for liberation is the only thing that the spiritual seeker yearns for.

Funny it is then, when my Guru asks a gathering of devotees, “How many of you want liberation?”, and all hands fly up immediately.

He then proceeds to add just one more word, “How many of you want liberation, now?”.

And suddenly all hands go down!

Hilarious, but the joke is on us ????

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Living peacefully

There’s war all around us in the world.

And incredibly, there’s war inside of each one of us as well. In our minds. Constantly fighting a variety of emotions and desires, with nary a clue of what is right or what is good.

So how to live peacefully then? The saints say this:

  • Continuously chant and attribute all actions to God for a joyful life.
  • If an actor doesn’t bring his stage role home, should we let our worldly roles define us? Remember, our pursuit of God isn’t an act because God resides within each of us.
  • When surrendering to God, let go of titles like devotee, scholar, or wealthy person. Then peace will prevail.
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Unidirectional

The direction is clear of what happens with me:

Something in the physical plane triggers my senses. The senses pass on information to my mind. The mind then gets super excited and begins planning for the future as though it’s already happened. This in turn waylays the soul, keeping it from achieving it’s true objective (of realising itself).

Spiritual wisdom unanimously dictates that this direction is wrong.

Our soul is meant to lord over the mind and the senses, not the other way around. Instead of focusing on the distractions of the outer world, we need to focus on the peace within.

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A-song of a-sanga

In the Bhagavad Gita’s Chapter 15, there lies solid wisdom on achieving inner peace and happiness. This chapter introduces us to ‘samsara’, a term denoting our attachments.

We often hinge our inner tranquility on three things: VVP – Vyakti (people), Vastu (objects), and Paristhithi (circumstances).

However, this dependence is a double-edged sword, leading to impermanent joy and potential suffering.

The antidote?

‘Asanga’, which translates to detachment.

Contrary to popular belief, detachment isn’t about negating emotions or connections. Instead, it’s about cultivating an intelligent relationship with our surroundings, including our very own bodies. By understanding the inherent value in everything, yet recognizing that none can offer everlasting peace or happiness, we find our way to a balanced existence.

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How hard can it be?

That’s exactly what goes on in the mind of tech titan Jensen Huang, the founder and CEO of Nvidia. In a recent interview, when asked if he’d start a company again in 2023, he chuckled and said, “Building Nvidia was a million times harder than any of us expected.”

But here’s the kicker. Despite knowing the difficulty involved, he’d constantly trick his brain by asking, “How hard can it be?”

Jensen candidly shared the rollercoaster of emotions – vulnerability, embarrassment, shame, and the endless challenges. But would he do it again? “Nobody in their right mind would,” he quips. Yet, the superpower of an entrepreneur is blissful ignorance. They dive in, thinking, “How hard can it be?”

Jensen’s secret sauce? A rock-solid support system. Surrounded by those who’ve been with him for decades, he says, “They never gave up on me.”

The next time we’re facing a challenge, we could channel our inner Jensen and ask, “How hard can it be?”

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Triple-gated

Swami Chinmayananda said that when desire is fulfilled – the left hand side gate opens. That gate is called Greed.

Desire fulfilled = Greed.

When desire is unfulfilled – the right hand side gate is opened.

That is called Anger.

Desire Unfulfilled = Anger.

So the main gate leading to both these gates is desire.

The triple gates to hell.

So we must close these three gates all together. That is the only prescription.

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Focused Wisdomism

  • Life’s journey: Sometimes we take detours from the divine roadmap.
  • Scriptures shoutout for: Compassion, humility, and selfless love vibes.
  • Beware! Greed and fear: peace stealers on the prowl.
  • Universal truth alert: Judgment day awaits, not as one day, but as a continuous karmic tracker so deeds don’t lie.
  • Bhagwad Gita wisdom drop: Arjuna’s quest & Krishna’s focus mantra?
  • Focus mantra: Think divine, act in line, and the universe will align.
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3 means of devotion

According to saint Gondavalekar Maharaj, there are 3 methods of devotion:

  1. Words of the scriptures
  2. Words of the saints (seniors / Guru)
  3. inward search by oneself

Which one do you like, and which one do you think works best for you?

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Babaji’s powers

A lot of spiritual seekers today run after anyone who can show off some siddhis (aka powers). A name that is used by many is that of purportedly one of the greatest Gurus and mystics of all – Mahavtar Babaji.

My knowledge about him is just from various books – not least of which is the famous “An autobiography of a Yogi”.

With so many people running after mystical experiences and opening up their kundalinis and all sorts of occult practices, spirituality almost feels like a lost cause to one who does not experience any of these.

What does Babaji himself say?

“Believe me my child when I say, that the man who loves others, who is devout and who lives the life of self-surrender is many times more powerful, even in altering his own circumstances, environments and tendencies, than the man who has learned all the Scriptures, who has mortified himself by sitting in the midst of five fires, who has mastered pranayama, who has shut himself in caves, who has awakened his kundalini and who has repeated millions of mantras millions of times and who has performed the most mysterious and elaborate ceremonies for the fulfillment of different specific desires.”

Aum Namaha Babaji Maha -Vishuddhi (I bow to Babaji, the Great Purity). An Excerpt from ‘The Voice Of Babaji’.

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Belling the chef

In a quaint little restaurant we visited recently, a bell hung aloof in the corner behind the door. It had a note attached to it which read, “Ring if you liked the experience!”

While there was a lot of cheer and laughter, no one bothered to ring the bell, as they exited the restaurant with full bellies and preoccupied minds.

After several entries and exits, one little child pressurized his father to pick him up so that he could reach the bell.

With great gusto, the little boy rang the bell more than once and the smile on his face was wide as a mile.

What was wider though? The smiles on the faces of the chefs in the kitchen, all of whom stood in a line, with their palms folded in gratitude for the recognition.

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Analogical – part 5 of 5

Concluding post today – with another lovely set of outstanding analogies, enabling us to intimately understand the depths suggested by our scriptures:

25. The Mirror and the Reflection: Just as a polished mirror reflects accurately, a purified mind mirrors our true nature.

26. The Artist and the Artwork: Similar to artists crafting masterpieces, the divine orchestrates our lives with intricate care.

27. The Guest and the Host: Much like guests finding solace in hosts’ homes, our souls discover refuge in the embrace of the divine.

28. The Raindrop and Ocean: Just as raindrops merge into oceans, our individuality merges into the expanse of universal consciousness.

29. The Jewel and the Light: Similar to jewels sparkling in the light, the soul radiates brilliance in the presence of divine knowledge.

30. The Wind and the Sky: Just as wind moves through the sky, experiences flow through the canvas of our awareness.

These analogies, like facets of a diamond, reflect the sophisticated-yet-simplistic wisdom of our ancients. By embracing these insights, we can embark on a transformative journey towards self-discovery and everlasting contentment.

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Analogical – part 4 of 5

More brilliant analogies from the wise ones, continued below:

18. The Sailing Boat and Wind: Like boats sailing with the wind, we journey through life with the divine wind of grace.

19. The Firefly and the Sun: As the sun dims fireflies, ego diminishes in the radiance of spiritual awareness.

20. The Needle and Thread: Similar to threading a needle, enlightenment requires focused awareness and effort.

21. The Seed and the Tree: Just as a tiny seed contains the promise of a mighty tree, our souls hold latent potential for spiritual growth.

22. The Pot and Space: Much like pots occupy space, the soul resides within the body while transcending its limits.

23. The Ocean and Waves: Just as waves emerge from oceans, our experiences arise from the boundless sea of Reality.

24. The Gem and the Dirt: Like a gem’s brilliance unaffected by dirt, the soul remains pure amidst life’s impurities.

Final set of analogies concluded tomorrow!

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Analogical – part 3 of 5

Continuing our voyage of scriptural wisdom seen through the lens of popular analogies:

12. The Musical Instrument and Musician: Much like musicians draw melodies from instruments, the divine orchestrates our lives, weaving together the symphony of existence.

13. The Honeybee and Flowers: Just as bees extract nectar without harm, we are required to engage with the world while preserving harmony.

14. The Fire and Fuel: As fire purifies through consumption, the soul burns ignorance and attachments to reveal its radiant essence.

15. The Child and Mother: Akin to a child’s solace in a mother’s arms, we seek refuge in the nurturing embrace of the divine.

16. The Silkworm and Cocoon: Like silkworms breaking cocoons, the Gita guides us to transcend self-imposed limits.

17. The Moon and Reflection: A tranquil mind reflects brilliance, akin to the moon mirrored in a still pond. And even if the pond has ripples, the moon itself is unaffected.

More analogies tomorrow!

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Analogical – part 2 of 5

More common analogies continued today:

7. The Sun and Clouds: Like clouds momentarily veiling the sun, ignorance can obscure our inherent brilliance.

8. The River and Ocean: As rivers merge into oceans, the soul dissolves into boundless consciousness.

9. The Garden and Weeds: Just as a garden thrives with weeding, we nurture positivity while uprooting negativity.

10. The Dream and Wakefulness: The Gita’s wisdom unveils the illusory nature of the material world, much like dreams upon awakening.

11. The Fish in Water: Just as fish thrive in water, souls flourish in the vast expanse of divine consciousness, revealing our inherent connection.

Analogies continued, tomorrow!

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Analogical – part 1 of 5

A journey through the Bhagavad Gita is best undertaken via analogies. They guide us like torches in the night, bridging ancient teachings with contemporary understanding. Here are some illuminating analogies used by several saints and Gurus across various books:

1. The Cow and Its Calf: Just as a cow tends to its calf without attachment, the Gita teaches performing duties without fixating on outcomes.

2. The Potter’s Wheel: Like a potter molding clay, divine forces shape our lives. Surrendering to the Lord aligns us with cosmic rhythms.

3. The Water Drop and Ocean: A drop merges with the ocean, echoing unity; like the individual dissolving into universal consciousness.

4. The Lamp and the Wind: A windless place doesn’t disturb a lamp’s flame. The mind too should remain undisturbed amid sensory distractions.

5. The Snake and the Rope: The Gita warns against confusing the transient with the eternal, akin to mistaking a rope for a snake.

6. The Lotus in Mud: A lotus rises pure from muddy waters, teaching purity amidst life’s challenges.

More analogies tomorrow!

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Tank half empty or half full?

In the realm of sports, moments of extraordinary tenacity often emerge, leaving an indelible mark on our hearts. Recently, I came across a riveting YouTube video that encapsulates this spirit in its purest form.

Picture this: A car race of paramount importance, with victory within arm’s reach. Max Orida, the leader, finds himself agonizingly close to the finish line when destiny throws a curveball. His fuel gauge reads empty, threatening to shatter his dreams.

Rather than surrendering to despair, Max’s spirit ignites a fire within him. With unwavering resolve, he leaps out from the car, and begins pushing his vehicle, every muscle straining against the odds. The crowd holds its breath, witnessing a testament to human willpower.

In that heart-stopping moment, Max transcends mere competition. He embodies the essence of perseverance, transforming a potential loss into a triumphant narrative. His actions remind us that when passion meets determination, even the most daunting challenges can be conquered.

Let Max Orida’s incredible feat be a beacon for us all. In the face of adversity, may we summon the fortitude to push forward, no matter how dire the circumstances. For it is in these moments that we forge our own path to victory, leaving an indomitable legacy for generations to come.

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Naturally patient

In the rush of modern life, nature whispers a vital lesson – patience. Much like a blooming flower unfurls its petals slowly, we too can find strength in moving at our own pace. The river carves its path patiently, shaping landscapes over time. Likewise, patience allows us to mold our experiences, creating meaningful stories.

Nature’s examples abound: majestic Redwood Trees grow slowly, standing tall for centuries, teaching us the power of steadfast growth. Caterpillars transform into butterflies, reminding us that change takes time, but the end result is worth the wait. Geodes, crystal-filled rocks formed over millions of years, show that true beauty emerges from patient, gradual processes. The Grand Canyon, carved by the Colorado River over eons, teaches us that persistence creates breathtaking masterpieces. Watch a spider construct its intricate web, showcasing the power of patience in achieving a goal. Coral reefs’ slow growth over thousands of years reminds us that small, consistent efforts lead to immense beauty and resilience.

Rushing seldom leads to lasting success.

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Mother necessity

“Look for the, bare necessities, the simple bare necessities, forget about your worries and your strife!” croons the ever-happy Baloo the bear in The Jungle Book cartoon classic.

The bare necessities is absolutely right. We don’t need much more than that to be happy, because happiness, as we know, is simply a state of mind.

But, necessity is the mother of invention. And as our necessities grow from bare sized to bear sized, inventions and gadgetry around us have proliferated.

Has happiness also proliferated? Hardly.

What might be the mother of necessity itself then?

Perhaps God, or chanting his name. When we are thinking of Him all the time, nothing else becomes important, and He will take care of everything else.

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Formulaic Godliness

At the core of our spiritual journey lies a delicate interplay between God, mind, and man, elegantly captured by two poignant equations:

  1. God + Mind = Man
  2. Man – Mind = God

These formulas encapsulate the essence of our quest for spiritual enlightenment.

To bridge the gap between ourselves and the divine, we must first understand the profound influence of our own minds.

Through dedicated concentration, a practitioner seeks to calm the ceaseless waves of thought, offering the mind a steady foundation.

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Which one are you?

An optimist. A pessimist. Or a realist.

The world loves optimists. Absolutely glorifies them.

Pessimists are always given the stick.

Realists? Do they even exist?

Here’s what Swami Swaroopananda says.

Be a realist. Why? Because an optimist never sees a problem, while the pessimis sees nothing but the problem. A realist approaches the situation with full awareness, mindful that things can go wrong and also the courage to see it through. 
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Quick change

You must have seen those magic shows where there’s a person that can change their dress really bloody quick. Like blink-of-the-eye quick.

The Gita says that our bodies are like clothes only. That death just results in the soul discarding one body to don another.

Within this life itself, we may change clothes multiple times each day, and a few hundred-thousand times through our lives.

The toughest clothes to change into would undoubtedly be ochre robes. Most people don’t even attempt to change into them.

But the irony is, that even after changing into ochre robes, if the mind is not tamed, outside clothes are of little use.

Clothes can be changed very fast. But the mind?

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Mission statement

We come across many mission and vision statements of large organizations, and famous people too.

What are the 4 steps to crafting these, and more so for oneself, according to Arthur Brooks, the creator of the concept of Happier-ness?

  1. Does whatever is being done glorify God? If it doesn’t, then it doesn’t matter what the other 3 steps are.
  2. Serve others.
  3. Have an adventure.
  4. Make a living.

These are the 4 steps to be followed to achieve any goal, and to be followed in the same order.

It’s ironic that most people follow the same order, but usually in reverse!

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Coinucopia

Peanut butter and jelly. Batman and Robin. Yin and yang. You just can’t separate these two out right? Just like 2 sides of a coin.

Here’s another. Desire and attachment. They’re always together.

Desire something deeply? In no time, you’ll be attached to it.

Attached to something deeply? It’ll lead you to desiring for that very thing or even other things for longer and longer.

To cut one is to cut none. To cut both is to find growth. Spiritual growth.

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Born loser

This is what Sadhguru begins one of his talks with. He says we are all “born losers”.

Wow, a scathing attack from a spiritual leader, one would think?

But is he wrong?

Hardly.

He proceeds to explain. We are all born losers because the moment we are born, we each begin to lose the most important thing we have: time!

What are we doing with this time? Are we maximising it in our service of others and our quest for the Self? Or are we simply whiling it away, living as egomaniacs and fueling this gross body that will anyway whither away soon?

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Learn to learn from

In a lovely podcast of Marlene Puffer, the Chief Investment Officer of a Canadian pension fund, I found a golden nugget.

She was describing how she began her career as an outsider. She was always in academia, with multiple degrees and what not.

And one day, at the grand old age of 29, she found herself in a teaching job as a professor of finance.

Her problem? She was all theory and no practice. Why? Because she hadn’t had the opportunity to work at Wall Street or other financial firms.

While she did suffer from imposter syndrome at first, she came up with an excellent solution. She knew she had very good theoretical knowledge and was very well read. Instead of feeling insecure in front of her much older and much more experienced students, she learned to learn from them instead, and layered it on top of her theoretical prowess.

“Hey Mike, you’ve got 15 years of experience working in FX derivatives, why don’t you share your perspective and learnings on how you did things at Morgan Stanley?”… and so on… Pretty cool no?!

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Playground

In the lovely book called Discourses by Shri Gondavalekar Maharaj, there are innumerable outstanding nuggets of wisdom.

One of them asks us to focus on the present, which we know. And not worry about the past or future, which also we know.

As a corollary, what he says (paraphrased) is, “On a daily basis, what are you using the prapancha (sense objects) for? If prapancha are being used simply to gain happiness, then clearly that happiness will never last. So what to do then? Use the prapancha as a playground to simply perform your duty. Then see the magic unfolding.”

So lovely!

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The real cause of burnout

On a cool interview of Bjørn Gulden, the global CEO of Adidas, one amazing insight came about. So much so that the interviewer (none other than CEO of Norges Bank, Nicolai Tangen) came back to the same point a few minutes later, even though the conversation had meandered to something else by then.

What is the real cause of burnout then, according to Mr. Gulden?

He says that since day 1 of his job, he has always been himself. He has never put on a pretense about anything. Since he doesn’t have to pretend, and doesn’t have to appear to be someone he is not, he carries no excess baggage on his head.

In his view, the reason for burnout is simply that people are constantly having to artifically put on a guise of who they aren’t. Maybe appear sharper, speak cooler, engage as though more knowledgeable etc. And doing so, say 12 hours every day, day after day, is what causes one to get burned out. Without it? One would enjoy working!

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Reverse bucket list

How many items are there in our bucket lists?

100s if not 1000s?

Wanting to have multiple experiences, to traveling across multiple countries, to trying out all sorts of fancy restaurants and what not.

The list can go on forever.

And that’s exactly why a “reverse” bucket list is such a great idea!

In a normal bucket list, as you complete one activity and check it off, you still see several hundreds left undone, leading to dissatisfaction.

But in a reverse bucket list, we only put things once they get done. This way, everything is always checked, and gives us the opportunity to be always happy!

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Timepass

Picture time as an expansive, black canvas. The saints saw that it’s not time that moves; rather it is we that traverse its expanse. We begin our journey at one point and conclude it at another, creating the illusion that time commences here and culminates there.

Yet, time is an undivided continuum, an unbroken whole. We transition from birth through childhood, youth, middle age, and into old age, painting our existence across this canvas. Therefore perception of time’s movement stems from our own progression. In truth, time remains an immutable, encompassing unity, ever-static in its entirety. But do we truly comprehend the profound nature of time, or are we merely skimming the surface of its profundity?

Colloquially, we refer to “timepass” when are whiling away time, not putting it to productive use. But what is truly happening? Is time passing us by, or are we passing by time?

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WhyWork

A company called WeWork has been in the news for the last many years. First for revolutionizing co-working office spaces, and more recently, for the fall of its valuations from the billions to the millions.

But WeWork is one thing. And WhyWork is another. No, it’s not a startup that you haven’t heard of, but a simple query to the universe.

Why work, when we are anyway asked to give up the results, and give up doership? If it ain’t gonna matter, then why work even a smatter?

Well the answer to that is simply because work needs to be seen as a means to an end (purification of the mind), not the end itself. The work is simply a journey, which is why the Gita never cares about the work itself, but only about “how” the work is done (with full surrender to the divine)!

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Praying in future tense

We’re probably always wanting something out there in the future.

When this want becomes fervent, it may morph into a prayer even.

With every cell hoping for a magical future.

But do we realize that many years ago and many prayers ago…

…we asked for things, that have become a reality, even if it may not seem so.

A comfy life, some travel, some family time, decent money and status, good health. Many of these we may have wished for, and indeed got, but do we remember? Or are the prayers of yesteryear simply replaced by new prayers hoping for even more cheer?

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Incorruptible

Nobody likes corrupt people. Not even the corrupt ones themselves.

But everyone has weaknesses.

And exploiting a weakness in someone could be the first step to corruption.

Offer them something to solve a serious problem, and they will forever be indebted, leaving open the possibility of crossing a line as a favour.

But there exists only one person who is incorruptible. The one who is a jnani. The one who wants only mukti and nothing else.

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Dancing confusion

In the realm of spirituality, seekers often ponder the art of engaging wholeheartedly with the world’s ups and downs, versus withdrawing into a state of inner calm and detachment. Can one gracefully transition between these two states? To immerse ourselves in life’s vivid experiences, yet also find solace in a serene, desireless state.

An analogy could be pertinent.

Imagine playing a role in a romantic flick alongside our favorite hero or heroine. In those scenes, we’re fully present, singing songs and reveling in the joy of the moment. But once the scene wraps, if we hold onto that role too tightly, we might be at the receiving end of a tight hand-to-face from said actor playing the favorite hero / heroine. There’s a delicate balance here. By recognizing it is only a role, we remain untangled, fully present in the day-to-day world, yet with a tranquil, uncluttered mind.

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Business-personal solutions

Here’s a thought provoking tweet by one Justin Welsh.

“Every problem in business can be solved in 1 of 2 ways. 1) Looking at your company data. 2) Speaking to your customers.”

I found this quite profound, and realized that this is not just the solution to business problems, but also applicable to our own personal and professional lives.

How can we look at our own data? By doing a quick self-audit. What are we doing right or wrong? How much time are we wasting. What are the pain points in our lives?

And who are our customers? Everyone we interact with regularly perhaps. And we can surely ask those who we are close with for self-improvement feedback!

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Action value – part 2 of 2

What else on action?

Vinoba also suggests that action should be offered as a sign of reverence, not as a payment or a duty. He gives an example of dakshina, which is a gift given to a teacher or a guest as a mark of respect. He suggests that dakshina is not measured by its amount, but by its sentiment. He says that water is sprinkled on it before it is given, to symbolize the feelings in the heart of the giver. He quotes a verse from Manusmriti, which says that a student can give a flower, a fan, a pair of sandals, or a pitcher of water to his teacher, as long as he gives it with devotion. He suggests that such a gift becomes priceless, because it is charged with love.

Vinoba illustrates this point with the story of Rukmini and Satyabhama, two wives of Lord Krishna. Satyabhama tried to weigh Krishna with heaps of gold ornaments, but failed. Rukmini put a single leaf of Tulsi (a sacred plant) on the scale, and it equaled the weight of Krishna, because it was full of devotion. Vinoba says that this is true of the actions of a karmayogi too. A karmayogi is one who performs selfless and desireless actions as an offering to God.

But there are so many actions to perform. How to choose? Simply what the Guru suggests, which will invariably involve providing maximum benefit to maximum people.

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Action value – part 1 of 2

What determines the value of an action?

Is it how much or how well it is done? Is it the result or the motive?

Here are some excellent insights from a book called Talks on the Gita by Vinoba Bhave, a follower of Mahatma Gandhi and a pioneer of the Sarvodaya movement. He delivered these talks in a jail in 1932, when he was imprisoned for joining India’s freedom struggle. He spoke on the Bhagavad Gita, one of the sacred Hindu scriptures, that guides us towards living a meaningful and fulfilling life.

Vinoba compares action to a stone, or a piece of paper. It has no value by itself, unless it is filled with feelings. He gives an example of a letter from his mother, which had only a few lines, but was priceless to him, because it conveyed her love and care. On the other hand, another letter that had fifty pages, but lacked any emotion, was worthless to him. He suggests that action should be infused with the warmth of feelings.

What else? Concluded tomorrow!

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Shut up and get out

Swami Chinmayananda said exactly this to a reporter in an old interview.

“Shut up and get out.”

And then he smiles, and says that he’s not telling her personally to shut up and get out.

Instead what he’s giving is golden advice.

Shut the mouth up.

And get out of the body-mind complex.

So cool, isn’t it?

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FortyTwo – part 2 of 2

So what answer did Elon Musk find? In the whimsical universe of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” by Douglas Adams, one finds not just humor and absurdity but also unexpected pearls of wisdom, especially when it comes to spirituality.

It’s a tale where the Earth is revealed to be a supercomputer designed to calculate the “Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything,”. And what is the final answer? Simply the number “42.”

This comically simple answer raises profound questions about the nature of spirituality. The search for meaning, for many, is a lifelong journey.

So much so that Elon himself believes that it’s not about the answer, but about finding the right question. What question about the complex creation we are part of will even come close to having an answer like 42?

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FortyTwo – part 1 of 2

Most of us want to be really rich. Why? So that we can chill and be free, and do what we want without others having to tell us so.

That’s a far off dream for me at least, but someone smartly asked Elon Musk this question. With some $180 billion in wealth that is more than the GDP of many countries, what keeps him ticking? Why does he go to work daily? What is the driving force behind his pursuits?

He answers almost sheepishly in his interview. As a teenager, he tried his best to figure out the purpose of life. He read all sorts of philosophical books and could yet not figure anything out.

Finally he read Douglas Adams’ sci-fi novel The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. And what did he learn from that? Did he get the answer to his question?

Continued tomorrow!

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Broken pointers

In the heart of Silicon Valley, Pierre Omidyar embarked on a mission that would redefine online commerce. In 1995, he birthed eBay Inc., envisioning a global marketplace for the exchange of goods and services. This visionary act began with an unexpected muse – a broken laser pointer, the first item ever listed. What seemed like an odd choice held a profound spiritual lesson: within imperfection lies hidden value.

Who the heck would want a broken laser pointer? Lo and behold, Omidyar got a bid for USD 14.83. He could scarcely believe his eyes, and hence wrote back to the bidder, who confirmed thus: “Yes, I am a collector of broken laser pointers”.

Incredible no?

This narrative mirrors the essence of our human journey. In our flaws and imperfections, there lies untapped potential waiting to be unearthed. Omidyar’s broken laser pointer became a symbol, reminding us that our own perceived ‘brokenness’ can be the catalyst for realizing our boundless potential.

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Intellectual difference

Here’s a question that was raised recently. “What is the difference between a sanyasi and a tyaagi?”

Honestly, I had not a clue, even though I faintly remembered reading about it somewhere, or listening to it during some talk.

Lord Krishna discusses sanyaasa and tyaaga in the 18th chapter of the Gita.

According to some experts, sanyasi means one who renounces everything. While a tyaagi only renounces the doership of the action, and of course the fruits associated with it.

Some experts suggest sanyasis and tyagis are effectively the same.

Other experts find other variations.

Which is correct? Maybe it doesn’t matter. Many concepts of spirituality are incredibly esoteric, and can leave the mind spinning. Unless intellectual debate is one’s profession, it’s probably much better to begin giving up doership and the fruits. But maybe that is even harder than simply intellectualizing things!

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Energetically yours

Came across a very interesting thought. It’s not radical or new. But a different perspective on the same thing.

Who is God?

Most will describe him as an old man with a flowing beard. No, not Santa Claus, although he does fit the description.

Said God apparently gets angry when we do bad things. And if we do good things, then he rewards us.

But is that how we have experienced God? Hardly.

A better way to think of this is that God is just energy. He is the energy that created all of Creation. He is also the one that sustains all of it, and eventually leads to destruction and recycling.

So if everything is God’s energy, what are we doing about it? If we do bad things, then God’s energy gets suppressed. But if we do good things, we practice gratitude, we are kind to others, we are empathetic and compassionate, then we automatically become free flowing channels of God’s energy. Isn’t that incredible?

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Happiness pointers

Happiness is not a destination, it’s a direction.

Happiness is not a style, it’s a skill.

Happiness is not a possession, but a state of mind.

Happiness is not in perfection, but in acceptance.

Happiness is not avoiding pain, but embracing growth.

Happiness is not about having, but about appreciating.

Happiness is not driven by luck, but by choice.

Happiness is not tomorrow or today, it’s now!

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Sourcefulness

Do we really own anything? All the money of the richest people in the world. Where will that go when they die? In today’s digital currency age, all that moolah can’t even be printed to take to the grave.

Do we really own anything then? Not in the least. We are merely temporary caretakers of Creation. Of what is already Created by God aka the Creator aka Divine Consciousness.

If we truly accept that we are only caretakers, then we would not stress so much about everything. We would be able to give to those deserving and destitute far more easily.

And whatever is left after we give, that too becomes blessed. Because there too it is the same caretaking principle. A branch when cut from the tree, dies in a few days. But a branch which continues to allow divine energy to flow through experiences the bliss of creation.

Every single thing we have is part of a larger cosmic canvas. If we train ourselves to recognize this, we will automatically see all our problems receding, and all the bliss of the Creator flowing unto us.

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Escape and not – part 5 of 5

In a world often driven by materialism and self-interest, Eddie Jaku’s words serve as a refreshing reminder of what truly matters. In his memoir, “The Happiest Man on Earth,” Eddie shares a profound lesson he learned from his father: “Kindness is the greatest wealth of all. Small acts of kindness last longer than a lifetime.”

Eddie’s father emphasized that kindness, generosity, and faith in one’s fellow man are more valuable than any monetary wealth. This lesson became a guiding principle for Eddie, shaping his interactions and relationships throughout his life. He shares a simple yet profound mantra: “May you always have lots of love to share, lots of good health to spare, and lots of good friends who care.”

In a world that has witnessed the depths of human cruelty, Eddie’s message is a beacon of hope. He encourages us to cherish and spread love, to appreciate the gift of health, and to nurture genuine friendships. His life story is a testament to the transformative power of kindness, even in the face of unimaginable adversity.

Eddie’s journey demonstrates that while life may present challenges, it is our response to these challenges that defines us. By choosing kindness, love, and understanding, we can create a legacy that outlives us, touching the hearts and lives of generations to come.

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Escape and not – part 4 of 5

In his memoir, “The Happiest Man on Earth,” Eddie Jaku reflects on the profound impact of perspective. After enduring the horrors of the Holocaust, he could have easily succumbed to bitterness and despair. Instead, Eddie chose a path of positivity and gratitude. He writes, “I have a belief that if you have good morale, if you can hang onto hope, your body can do miraculous things. Tomorrow will come.”

Eddie’s philosophy is proof of the strength of the human spirit. Despite the immense suffering he faced, he recognized the importance of hope and the power of a positive outlook. He believed that even in the darkest moments, there’s always a glimmer of light.

His message is clear: cherish every moment, embrace the good and the bad, and always choose happiness. As Eddie beautifully puts it, “Life is beautiful if you let it be. Happiness is in your hands.”

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Escape and not – part 3 of 5

Eddie further recounts a harrowing journey he endured once on a train to Buchenwald. Packed into open wagons and exposed to the biting cold, survival seemed impossible. Yet, even in those dire circumstances, Eddie and his fellow prisoners found a way to stay warm. They crafted a large blanket from their jackets, huddling together, only their heads peeking out, as snow piled on top.

But it wasn’t just the cold they had to contend with; hunger gnawed at them constantly.

And then, a glimmer of hope: as the train passed through Czechoslovakia, kind-hearted women ran alongside, throwing loaves of bread to the starving prisoners. It wasn’t much, but even a morsel of bread symbolized more than sustenance. It was a testament to the enduring spirit of humanity, a beacon of hope in the darkest of times.

Eddie’s story is as a powerful message that even in the face of immense cruelty and adversity, acts of kindness can shine through. It underscores the belief that hope, fuelled by the compassion of strangers, can be a lifeline in our most desperate moments.

Meanwhile, we need to question our own supposed sadness and depression. Given our lives are infinitely better than Eddie’s, do we have a reason to be sad, even for one second?

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Escape and not – part 2 of 5

Another story unfolds in the grim surroundings of a concentration camp, where Eddie was forced to work on machinery. Every day, he was chained to his machine, with only a drunk and abusive guard for company. The guard’s cruelty seemed boundless, but life had a twist in store for Eddie.

One day, Eddie was summoned by the man in charge of the factory, a man named Goh. Expecting reprimand or worse, Eddie was taken aback when Goh, with tears in his eyes, revealed that he had been a prisoner of war with Eddie’s father during the First World War.

Goh expressed his deep sorrow for the atrocities Eddie was enduring and, while he couldn’t help him escape, he promised Eddie something invaluable: sustenance. From that day on, Eddie found extra food hidden in his machine, a small act of kindness in a world devoid of humanity.

Eddie’s encounter with Goh is a testament to the unexpected places where kindness can be found. It’s a reminder that even in the darkest corners of human history, there are glimmers of hope and humanity. As they say, it’s always darkest before dawn.

More tomorrow!

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Escape and not – part 1 of 5

In his book “The Happiest Man on Earth,” Eddie Jaku shares his deeply moving experiences as a Holocaust survivor. Among the many tales of resilience and hope, some stand out: Eddie’s audacious escape from the Auschwitz concentration camp.

Auschwitz, a grim symbol of the Holocaust, was a place where hope was a scarce commodity. Yet, Eddie, with his indomitable spirit, devised a plan. Hidden inside a drum, he was smuggled out of the camp on a truck. However, the joy of freedom was fleeting. Still wearing the Auschwitz uniform, he became a target in a world that might not always show kindness.

In search of refuge, Eddie approached a house, hoping for sanctuary. Instead, he was greeted with gunshots, a stark reminder of the era’s deep-rooted fear and prejudice. Injured and with dwindling options, Eddie made a heart-wrenching decision: to return to Auschwitz. Using the returning workers as cover, he seamlessly re-entered the camp, his brief stint of freedom now a haunting memory.

The same Eddie has written a book titled “The Happiest Man on Earth”. If we were to go through an ordeal 1/1000th as bad as his, would we even be able to smile, let alone write a book on happiness?

Continued tomorrow!

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Guru-luck

In a recent interview of monk-Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath, the interviewer asked him a simple question.

“Do you think you were lucky to have met your spiritual Guru?’

Pat came Yogi ji’s reply.

Janmjanmantar ka prarabdh hai yeh.

Which means that him meeting his Guru was no accident, but many lifetimes of accumulated karma!

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Complexifier

This was the word used by a David Von Drehle, an award-winning journalist. What was he talking about? Youngsters, of course ????

But it’s equally relevant for anyone else too.

David’s latest book, “The Book of Charlie: Wisdom from the Remarkable American Life of a 109 Year-Old Man,” is a best-seller about resilience and what it means to live well.

He says that people are complexifiers, always trying to complicate everything. How true isn’t it?

He agrees that sometimes life can indeed seem very complicated.

But how to un-complicate it?

By simply spreading kindness, generosity and joy. That’s it.

Profound, and worth thinking over many times.

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Mind test

Here’s an interesting exercise.

Imagine a person suspects terminal illness. So they go to the hospital and get some check-ups done.

All day and all night, they are unable to eat, sleep or work properly, constantly consumed by the anxiety of what the report might contain. Will it be 12 months to live? Or even lesser?

And then the report comes.

The doc gives an “All clear”. Nothing to worry about.

All the problems of the world have suddenly vanished. Eating, sleeping, working have instantaneously become joyful activities.

But what changed? There was no terminal illness before the test, and no terminal illness after the test. Just the mind…

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The most critical definitions

There are two global epidemics that the world is facing today.

Nope, Covid isn’t one of them.

The first is depression. And the second is anxiety.

We all feel anxious and / or depressed at some point.

Here’s the simplest and most profound definitions I’ve heard of these two terms, which I came across recently on a podcast by David Von Drehle.

Depression = regret for things of the past.

Anxiety = fear of things of the future.

Deceptively simple, yet 100% true!

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Change?

With any problem in our lives, we pray for a solution.

What is this solution?

To magically make the problem go away of course.

To change the playing field, to change the circumstances, to change the experience itself.

But is that really a solution? Is that really a lasting solution?

What is the ideal solution then?

To pray to change not the circumstance, but to change me!

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The SHIELD to happiness

Was watching a video by an enthusiastic and energetic 75-years young Alvin Foo. The gentleman was asked how he maintains such good health. And his answer was golden. He said he lives his life by the acronym SHIELD. What is SHIELD?

“S” for Sleep: 7 hours. Prioritize rest, allowing the body and mind renewal for each day’s vigor.

“H” for Handling Stress: such as via meditation to conquer challenges with a calm mind.

“I” for Interaction: Cultivating relationships (friends and family) to uplift and dispel isolation.

“E” for Exercise: Keeping agile and energetic by embracing movement you enjoy.

“L” for Learn: Fueling your mind with new knowledge, keeping curiosity alive.

“D” for Diet: Nourishing your body with vitality-enhancing foods.

Simple and doable!

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Real reality

  • The recipe is not the dish.
  • The plan is not the journey.
  • The blueprint is not the building.
  • The script is not the performance.
  • The idea is not the execution.
  • The schedule is not the event.
  • The description is not the experience

What do these mean?

That at some point, no matter all the theory, it is only practice and execution that counts! A good lesson for me.

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DTNT

No, this is not Dynamic TNT, although the message itself is far more explosive.

Someone analyzed the life of Abraham Lincoln. In one particular year, he was going through absolute hell. On the work front, he was absolutely being clobbered. His 11 year old son died. His wife went into depression.

And yet, Abe Lincoln came out successful.

How did he do it?

The answer lies in DTNT.

Do The Next Thing.

Stop being stuck to whatever problem is there, and move on. Do the next thing.

Such simple yet exceptional advice for me!

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Fun for fun’s sake

On a podcast that was discussing happiness, the speaker threw out two normal English words. One was ‘amateur’, and the other was ‘dilettante’.

The meanings of both words is somewhat similar, in that there is interest in a field, but perhaps limited expertise.

The podcast itself was all about how if we do more things that are new and experimental (such as learning a new sport, a new language, a new art or skill etc.), then the chances of being happy are very high. Why? Because while learning these activities, we become engrossed in the moment, and quit complaining about mundane issues.

What I loved then was the etymology of both those words.

Amateur apparently comes from amour, which is to love (your work), and dilettante comes from delight. What fun!

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Pray for what? – part 2 of 2

So what do we pray for then?

Perhaps many things, but what struck me as I was sitting quietly yesterday was the following:

1. Clarity. We are faced with innumerable choices all the time. How do we know which decision to make? Which choice is right? Hence I would pray for clarity, in all aspects of life.

2. Protection. There is so much of negativity all around us. So much of anger and hate and ego and malice. Who is protecting us all the time, if not the grace of the Guru and the blessings of God?

But what do the self-realized souls pray for?

Simply for the well being and happiness of others, always!

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Pray for what? – part 1 of 2

What should we really pray for? We mostly pray for money and promotions and good health and good marks and success in various tasks we set out to do.

Are these the things we should be praying for? Of course, we can pray for anything we want, and no one can force us otherwise.

But all of the above things are purely material and short term, aren’t they? Except health of course. But health too is largely in our hands. If we stuff ourselves with processed garbage that is ubiquitous today, then what will our health be like if not garbage?

So then what else can we pray for?

Concluded tomorrow!

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Wrong-doer

Heard this in a cool TED talk clip. A very strong lesson and takeaway for me.

The speaker had observed children’s habits closely, and shared an anecdote.

In a drawing class, an otherwise uninterested-in-school 6-year-old was keenly drawing something. When the teacher went to the child and asked her what she was drawing, the girl replied, “I’m drawing God”.

To which the teacher said, “But no one knows how God looks like.”

Pat came the reply, “They will, in a minute!”

The takeaway?

Kids don’t care about being wrong. That’s why they learn so much in such a short time, like picking up new languages, without a care in the world of what others think!

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8Rules (part four): The Everlasting Journey of Love

In the concluding chapters from Jay Shetty’s “8 Rules of Love,” we are introduced to a powerful and uplifting perspective on love’s boundless nature. The eighth rule, “Love Again and Again,” is a celebration of love’s infinite potential. Love isn’t a one-time experience or confined to a single chapter of our lives. It is not a finite resource. It’s an ever-evolving journey, filled with countless opportunities to love, learn, and grow.

Shetty encourages us to view love as a continuous process, not limited by past experiences or future apprehensions. Every interaction, every shared moment, and even every setback is an opportunity to practice love. It’s about opening our hearts, breaking down barriers, and embracing the world with renewed passion and hope. Whether it’s the love between partners, the love for a friend, or the love for oneself, every form of love is valuable and transformative.

This rule is a reminder that our capacity to love is limitless. No matter the challenges we’ve faced or the heartbreaks we’ve endured, there’s always room to love again. It’s about recognizing love’s boundless beauty and allowing it to guide us through life’s many twists and turns.

In this boundless journey, every day presents a fresh canvas, allowing us to paint a new chapter in our ever-evolving love story, filled with hope, passion, and endless possibilities.

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8Rules (part three): The Resilience and Renewal of Love

The sixth rule, “Win or Lose Together,” is a testament to the resilience and unity required in love. Relationships aren’t always about sunny days and calm seas; there are storms to weather and challenges to face. But it’s not the challenges themselves that define a relationship; it’s how we face them. Do we let them pull us apart, or do we face them hand in hand, united in our resolve? Jay Shetty emphasizes the importance of solidarity in love. It’s about standing together, supporting each other, and emerging from challenges stronger and more connected.

But what happens when, despite our best efforts, love takes a different turn? The seventh rule, “You Don’t Break in a Breakup,” offers solace and hope. Breakups, while painful, are not the end. They can be a new beginning, a chance for introspection, growth, and self-renewal. Shetty reminds us that endings can also be opportunities. They offer a unique chance to rediscover oneself, to reflect on the relationship, and to prepare for a brighter, more informed future in love.

Together, these rules teach us about the resilience of love and the strength that can be found in both togetherness and endings.

Rule 8, and conclusion tomorrow!

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8Rules (part two): Navigating the Depths of Love

In the continuation of Jay Shetty’s “8 Rules of Love,” we are introduced to the third rule, which challenges our very perception of love. What is love? Is it just a fleeting transient emotion, or is it something deeper, more profound?

Shetty prompts us to “Define Love Before You Think It, Feel It, or Say It.” It’s a call to introspection, urging us to articulate this complex emotion. Love transcends the physical passion and the initial fluttering butterflies. It’s about shared dreams, mutual respect, and a deep, unspoken bond that ties two souls together. Now what you expected no?

As we traverse this path, the fourth rule shines a spotlight on the role of our partners in our love journey. Titled “Your Partner Is Your Guru,” this rule is a testament to the invaluable lessons we glean from our significant others. They become mirrors to our souls, reflecting our strengths, highlighting our vulnerabilities, and constantly pushing us towards personal growth. Through the ups and downs, the joys and challenges, our partners teach us about love, life, and most importantly, about ourselves.

Embracing these lessons can transform our love life into a journey of continuous learning and growth, where every moment spent with our partner becomes an opportunity for self-discovery.

Continued tomorrow, and day after!

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8Rules (part one): The Foundations of Love

In Jay Shetty’s interesting book, “8 Rules of Love,” he delves deep into the intricacies of love, unraveling its many layers.

The first rule he introduces is the significance of solitude. Contrary to popular belief, solitude isn’t about feeling isolated or lonely. Instead, it’s about valuing introspection, taking time to understand oneself, and laying the groundwork for genuine love. Through self-reflection, we discover our deepest desires, confront our fears, and prepare ourselves for the love we truly deserve.

Shetty then introduces the second rule, emphasizing the role of karma in our love lives. Every action we take, every choice we make, and every relationship we’ve had leaves an indelible mark on our souls (across multiple janmas or births I’d think!). These past experiences shape our present and future, influencing how we approach love. Recognizing and understanding this karmic journey is essential. It’s a profound lesson in accountability, teaching us that our past actions, both good and bad, play a pivotal role in our current relationships.

Together, these two rules set the stage for a love that’s both introspective and expansive. They remind us that genuine love starts with understanding oneself and acknowledging the forces that have shaped our love journey.

More rules, tomorrow!

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Secret ingredient

Now I’m no cook. I know next to nothing about the kitchen. A few dishes to survive? Sure, I can whip something up so that I won’t starve. But serve my cooking to others? Wouldn’t do it to my worst enemy even! With that simple disclaimer out of the way, an interesting book is “Masala Lab” by Krish Ashok. And within it lies a tale that resonates with every culinary enthusiast. Readers are gracefully led into a traditional kitchen, where generations-old recipes are passed down with love and care.

As the author meticulously lists the ingredients for a crispy multi-lentil pancake – adai as it is known in South India and specifically in Tamil Nadu – a profound revelation emerges. The grandmother, a character brimming with wisdom, introduces a secret ingredient that transcends the tangible: Patience.

Through this narrative, Ashok captures the essence of cooking as an art, where patience isn’t just a virtue but a vital ingredient. In our modern world, where instant gratification is often sought, this story is a poignant reminder of the timeless values that form the foundation of great cooking, whether in the kitchen, or as a recipe for one’s own success!

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A spider’s tenacity

Stan Lee, the legendary comic creator, once faced skepticism when he pitched an unconventional superhero idea. “I saw a fly on a wall and thought, what if a superhero could stick to walls? And thus Spider-Man was born,” he reminisced.

But challenges awaited. Stan’s vision of a teenage superhero with personal problems was met with stark criticism. “People hate spiders. Teenagers are sidekicks, not protagonists. Superheroes don’t have personal problems,” his publisher retorted.

In a twist of fate, Stan decided to feature Spider-Man in a magazine on the verge of cancellation. The result? Overwhelming success. His publisher, once a critic, now wanted Spider-Man as a series.

Stan’s journey underscores a powerful message. That if we have an idea we genuinely believe in, don’t let naysayers get in the way. In Stan’s words, “Just do your thing. Do it as well as you can. That’s what truly matters.”

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Work perk

On a recent trip to a beautiful but politically-charged place, I couldn’t help but notice the substantial presence of army officers and patrols.

They’ve been placed there for good reason of course.

But my heart went out to them – for their courage and sacrifice, all to keep the rest of the country safe and sound.

Are they different in any way? They too are human. But their postings are in far flung areas, often involving standing for hours together, holding heavy guns, ever ready to thwart a terrorist attack. Do they see family often? Not at all. Do they get to savour relationships? Hardly.

Yes, it is a job, and a very hard one that needs to be done. I cannot do it, as I wouldn’t be able to last a day in their grueling circumstances. But we can pray for them – as my Guru does – for their safety and well being, which is more critical than any other work perk.

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Hagglers

Often I’ve seen well-off folks haggle with poor roadside vendors and hawkers, even for chump change.

To an outsider, it might seem trivial, a petty argument over mere cents. But to the haggler, it seems like a battle worth fighting.

Why would someone do this? Maybe because when our lives lack significant worries, we inflate the importance of trivial matters? We focus on the loose coins of our lives, ignoring the wealth of happiness and peace that surrounds us.

The haggling with roadside vendors is simply a euphemism. There may be many such irrelevant and minor things which take up too much of our time, but which we should perhaps wean away from.

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Granted genius

Many years ago, a young Angela Duckworth (today author of bestselling book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance) heard a phrase that would shape her life. Her father, in his candid manner, would often tell her, “You know, you’re no genius!” This statement, far from discouraging her, sparked a flame of determination. She only saw a challenge to prove him wrong.

Angela’s journey was not an easy one. She faced numerous obstacles and setbacks, but she remained undeterred. She pursued her passion for psychology, eventually becoming a professor at the University of Pennsylvania. There, she dedicated her work to studying grit and self-control, two attributes she believed were critical to success.

Her father’s words echoed in her mind as she delved deeper into her research. She realized that success was not solely dependent on innate talent or intelligence. Instead, it was the result of passion and perseverance, the very qualities she had demonstrated throughout her life.

Angela’s story is a testament to the power of grit. Despite being told she was “no genius”, she went on to win a MacArthur Fellowship, also known as the “Genius Grant” – how ironic isn’t it?

How do we each react in the face of adversity? That’s a good answer to have!

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GP when?

When is Guru Purnima? Depends on the lunar calendar yada yada.

But in this year’s GP celebrations some time ago, a satsangi simply listed the following 3 conditions to figure out if we are on Guru Purnima day or not.

1. We feel the grace of the Guru around us

2. We feel gratitude for the blessings of our Guru

3. We are engaged in some activity which involves remembrance of the Guru

The beauty of these 3 conditions is that every single day can be Guru Purnima… and so it should!

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The Laws of Human Nature – part 6 of 6

Continuing the last 3 laws/takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Aimlessness – Without a clear purpose or direction, we drift through life. We must find our life’s aim and pursue it with determination.
  2. The Law of Self-NarcissismSelf-love can blind us to our faults. We need to be aware of our own narcissism and strive for a more balanced self-image.
  3. The Law of RashnessActing without thinking can lead to disaster. We should take time to reflect before making decisions, especially important ones.

    That’s a wrap – an excellent and big book of 18 laws summarized into a few lines. Hope you enjoyed reading, and find the applications useful in daily life!
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 5 of 6

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of FlatteryFlattery can be a powerful tool, but it must be used wisely. Insincere or excessive praise can be seen as manipulative.
  2. The Law of Grandiosity Overestimating our abilities can lead to dangerous overconfidence. We need to stay grounded and realistic in our self-assessment.
  3. The Law of Gender RigidityGender roles can limit our understanding of ourselves and others. We must embrace the full range of human qualities within us, regardless of gender.

    Continued tomorrow…
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 4 of 6

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Infection – Emotions are contagious. We are influenced by the moods and ideas of the people we spend time with. We need to be mindful of the company we keep and the ideologies we adopt.
  2. The Law of the Endless ChainEvery action has consequences that extend far beyond the immediate moment. If we understand the chain of cause and effect, we can better predict and control the future.
  3. The Law of Non-EngagementSometimes, the best way to win is not to fight. We can avoid getting emotionally entangled in other people’s problems and conflicts.

    Continued tomorrow…
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 3 of 6

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of DefensivenessThis chapter discusses the human tendency to become defensive when challenged. It advises us to be aware of this trait and to use it to our advantage in conflict and negotiation situations.
  2. The Law of Self-SabotageThis law highlights the human tendency to sabotage our own success due to fear and insecurity. It encourages us to recognize and overcome these self-defeating behaviours.
  3. The Law of RepressionThis law discusses the human tendency to repress uncomfortable emotions and memories. It advises us to confront and process these feelings to achieve emotional health and stability.

    Continued tomorrow…
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 2 of 6

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Compulsive BehaviourThis law discusses the repetitive patterns in human behavior. It encourages us to recognize these patterns in ourselves and others, and to use this knowledge to predict future behaviour.
  2. The Law of CovetousnessThis chapter discusses the human tendency to desire what others have. It advises us to be aware of this trait and to use it to our advantage in negotiations and power dynamics.
  3. The Law of ShortsightednessThis law highlights the human tendency to focus on immediate gains rather than long-term benefits. It encourages us to think ahead and consider the long-term consequences of our actions.

    As we can see, each law is relevant and power-packed, and the gist is contained above. It just needs some thoughtful reflection and conscious work for self-transformation. Continued tomorrow…
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 1 of 6

There’s a very interesting book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene. What is the book about? Well, the title is obviously a bit of a giveaway. And it is very detailed and profound. So I thought to summarize the takeaways from each of the 18 laws in it. And we’ll do it using another rule – the rule of 3s, because it is said that the human mind can’t remember or digest more than 3 things at once!

  1. The Law of Irrationality – This law emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and rationality. Our emotions make us irrational. So the law encourages us to understand our emotions and biases, and to use this understanding to make more rational decisions.
  2. The Law of Narcissism – This law highlights the human tendency towards self-obsession and the need for validation. It advises us to be aware of this trait in ourselves and others, and to use it to our advantage in social situations.
  3. The Law of Role-playing – This chapter discusses the importance of understanding the roles people play in society. It encourages us to see beyond these roles to understand people’s true intentions and motivations.

    Continued tomorrow…
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Shooting for the loon

It’s outstanding that India was able to send a rocket and rover to the Moon for less than a hundred mil. This when other countries have done it for billions. Of course there are differences in the way the launch was planned and the time taken to reach the destination. But this is, after all, truly rocket science, and I’m surely not a rocket scientist, not even a scientist.

But what struck me as amazing was how all the rocket scientists at ISRO prayed at various temples before the launch.

Why should they pray? They are people of science no? They are more scientists than many other classes of scientists perhaps. They can’t get away from anything like I do by saying, “Hey this is rocket science!”

They pray perhaps because despite knowing so much about science, they still acknowledge that there is too much they do not know. And a billion things that they cannot control. The prayer gives them strength and hope. It may or may not give them a successful rocket mission. But it wouldn’t matter, because they would always be giving their best, no matter the outcome.

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Self studying or studying self?

Each life unfolds like a rich tapestry of truths, some steadfast and others transient, reflecting our evolving understanding. Wisdom from the Rig Ved encapsulates this beautifully— ‘Ekam sad vipra bahudha vadanti’, implying the truth is singular, but the learned describe it in countless ways.

Life, in essence, showcases our judgments— floating like transient bubbles on water’s surface— as reality. Yet, with time, we discern the difference between our ephemeral judgments and enduring truth.

This understanding paves the way for ‘swadhyay’, a profound practice of self-study. It’s not just about immersing oneself in scriptures, but about diving deep within, studying our own ‘self’. As we throw light on our inner consciousness, we unlock our true essence, realizing the singular truth within us.

Swadhyay aids our transformation, shedding light on our evolution— from past notions to growing wisdom, from rigid patterns to adaptive behaviors, from a defined sense of belonging to its dynamic expansion. It facilitates our blossoming, guiding us towards an enlightened state of existence.

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The Pratfall Effect

Think perfection is good? Think others will like you if you are perfect?

In Jonah Berger’s insightful book “Magic Words”, he introduces us to a fascinating psychological phenomenon known as the “Pratfall Effect”. This concept revolves around the idea that our minor blunders and mishaps can actually enhance our likability.

Berger illustrates this concept through an intriguing experiment. A group of students were introduced to a trivia contestant (an actor in reality). This contestant was portrayed in two different scenarios – as highly competent, answering most quiz questions correctly, and as less impressive, answering only a few correctly. In both scenarios, the contestant clumsily spilled coffee on his suit.

The results were surprising. The competent contestant, despite his blunder, became more likable. His mistake humanized him, making him more relatable and endearing. This is the essence of the Pratfall Effect. It shows us that our imperfections can be our assets, making us more human and approachable.

So, the next time you stumble or make a mistake, remember the Pratfall Effect. It’s these little imperfections that make us who we are, and often, they make us more likable. So we can embrace our pratfalls oops I mean pitfalls, for they are a part of our unique charm, while always working on our competence of course!

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Love-it Post-it

In the realm of innovation, sometimes the most groundbreaking ideas come from the most unexpected places. Take the humble Post-it note, for instance. This ubiquitous tool, found in offices and homes worldwide, was born out of a ‘mistake’.

Spencer Silver, a chemist at 3M, was on a mission to create a super-strong adhesive for the aerospace industry. But, as life would have it, he ended up with a weak, pressure-sensitive adhesive that could be easily removed. It was far from what he intended, but Silver knew he had stumbled upon something unique.

For five years, he championed his ‘failed’ experiment within 3M, sharing his discovery in formal presentations and casual water cooler conversations. Yet, no one knew what to do with it. It was a solution waiting for a problem to solve.

Enter Art Fry, another 3M scientist, who attended one of Silver’s seminars. Fry, a choir singer, was grappling with a minor yet nagging issue – his bookmarks kept falling out of his hymnal. Eureka! What if he could use Silver’s adhesive on his bookmarks? They would stick without causing any damage. He tried it, and voila, it worked!

The Post-it note was born, not out of a meticulously planned project, but from a ‘failed’ experiment and a choir singer’s frustration. Maybe making mistakes and getting frustrated could be our recipe towards the next great thing – who knows!

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Primal Desire

In an enlightening podcast by Dr. Vineet Aggarwal, an expert on spirituality, he shares a profound explanation of life’s beginnings and the purpose of existence. It’s a journey into the heart of our ancient scriptures, the Puranas, which speak of a ‘Primal Desire’. This desire is not about possession or control, but a divine yearning to multiply, to expand.

Consider this – why is companionship sought? Or after finding companionship, why do couples decide to have children? The presence of another enriches life, allows the experience of love in its purest form. The scriptures say that God is the essence of love, not a stern taskmaster as often portrayed, but the embodiment of pure, unconditional love.

To experience this love, to truly revel in its depth and beauty, there needs to be ‘another’. Love is a salsa that requires a partner. It’s in this divine dance of love that individual beings come into existence.

God, in His/Her infinite love, manifests as multiple beings, each a unique expression of this divine love. This Primal Desire to experience love is at the heart of creation.

So, when pondering the purpose of existence, we might do well to remember this – born out of love, living to experience love, and in love, finding purpose. Not merely creations of the divine, but expressions of divine love.

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Tabling the conversation

Once upon a time, in the magical world of Pixar, there was a long, skinny table. This table, the silent observer of countless meetings, had a secret power. It shaped the dynamics of the discussions that took place around it.

The folks at Pixar, led by the visionary Ed Catmull, believed in the power of unhindered communication. But they soon realized that their table was playing tricks on them. Those sitting at the ends felt like their voices didn’t matter, while the ones in the middle seats seemed to have an unfair advantage. The table was creating a hierarchy that was contrary to Pixar’s core belief.

Ed decided to challenge the status quo. He replaced the long, skinny table with a more intimate square version, where everyone could interact equally. And just like that, the table lost its secret power, which was a great thing. The conversations became more inclusive, and the ideas flowed freely.

But old habits die hard. The place cards, symbols of the old hierarchy, still adorned the new table. It took the audacious act of Andrew Stanton, one of Pixar’s directors, to finally break this tradition. He shuffled the place cards, declaring, “We don’t need these anymore!” And with that, the last vestiges of the old hierarchy vanished.

This tale from Pixar’s early days is telling of how our environment subtly shapes our interactions. It also teaches us that solving a problem isn’t just about addressing the main issue. It’s about uprooting all the smaller problems that sprout from it.

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Oh my G

We watched the Bollywood movie Oh My God or OMG again today, just like that. The movie is a profound exploration of our relationship with divinity. It challenges us to rethink our understanding of religion and spirituality, using the protagonist, Kanji, as our guide.

One of the most powerful dialogues in the movie is when Kanji says, “I don’t reject God, I reject the God that you have created.”

This is a stark reminder that God is not a commodity to be bought and sold, but a divine presence to be felt and experienced, and available to all.

Kanji’s journey is a testament to the power of faith, not in rituals or idols, but in the goodness of our hearts. As he says, “God is everywhere, but people say he is only in the temple.” This dialogue underscores the message that God is not confined to places of worship, but resides in every act of kindness and love.

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Does experience count?

Yes and no.

Not a good enough answer? I couldn’t agree more!

Someone asked this question on an Adam Grant podcast recently, and I thought the answer was brilliant.

Does experience matter? Of course it does. Someone with a few years of experience in pretty much anything will probably at least be less worse than if they were starting a job completely afresh.

But can this be extrapolated to mean that someone with say 20 years of experience is necessarily better than someone with only 5?

Here’s where the answer was outstanding. And the answer is “no”. How? Because as Adam concluded, it is not about the experience itself that matters, but reflecting on the experience which brings about the transformation. And that is all that counts.

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The Universe’s Blueprint

James Maxwell, renowned for his groundbreaking work in formulating the classical theory of electromagnetic radiation, was not just a scientist but also a man of deep faith. He once crafted a model of the solar system, setting it in motion in his study room. A close friend and fellow scientist, who happened to be an atheist, was intrigued by the model. “This is amazing! Who made it?” he asked. Maxwell, with a twinkle in his eye, replied, “Nobody made it. I was working on my table when I heard an explosion. I turned around and saw this had been created.”

His friend scoffed, “How ridiculous! How can this be created by an explosion? Someone must have definitely made it.”

Maxwell, seizing the moment, retorted, “My friend, you are not willing to believe that a little model of the solar system could be created by itself. And you want me to believe that the real universe, consisting of many such solar systems, has come into existence without a Creator. If it is logical to believe that someone has created this model, it is also common-sensical to conclude that the real world must have a Creator too.”

This story serves as a reminder of the intricate design and order of the universe, pointing towards the existence of a Creator. It’s a tale that invites us to ponder on the grandeur of the cosmos and the divine intelligence that might be at play behind its creation. If even those who have deeply studied the laws of the universe, like Maxwell, can hold a space for faith and the divine, why shouldn’t we?

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Selfish and awful

In the amazing new Christopher Nolan movie Oppenheimer, there are several outstanding scenes and dialogues. No spoilers here, but one particular dialogue was super.

In a moment of personal tragedy and difficulty, the protagonist approaches his friend for help. He knows his life is in a shambles, and he remarks, “We are selfish and awful people, but please help us.”

To which his friend counters, “Truly selfish and awful people never admit that they are selfish and awful.”

The power of words!

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The power of ‘I’

In the realm of communication, the power of ‘I’ is often underestimated. In his insightful book “Magic Words”, Jonah Berger explores how the use of ‘I’ can shape our interactions and perceptions, turning it into a tool for ownership and authenticity.

Berger suggests that using ‘I’ can make communication more personal and authentic. When we say “I found that…”, it makes it clear who did the work. It’s a way of taking ownership of our actions and thoughts. It’s a way of saying, ‘This is my perspective. This is my contribution.’

However, Berger also notes that using ‘I’ can make the findings seem more subjective. It raises questions about the universality of our findings. Would anyone else have found the same thing, or are our findings based on the choices we made while conducting the project?

So, the use of ‘I’ is a double-edged sword. It can enhance the authenticity of our communication, but it can also introduce a level of subjectivity. The key is to use it judiciously, depending on the context and the message we want to convey.

Now, you might be thinking, ‘Isn’t the use of ‘I’ a sign of egotism?’ It’s a common perception, but Berger offers a different perspective. He suggests that the use of ‘I’ is not about promoting oneself but about taking responsibility. It’s about saying, ‘I am accountable for this.’

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Chill to thrill

Feeling swamped under a pile of tasks? Experiencing stress from information overload? In such times, Cal Newport’s “Deep Work” suggests an inviting solution – let’s disconnect to reconnect. We can step aside, immerse ourselves in gardening, yoga, or cooking.

Such calming pursuits provide a necessary interlude, allowing our minds to recharge and reboot. When we return to the task at hand, it’s not unusual to find fresh perspectives dawning.

Remember Newton’s epiphany under the apple tree? A moment of leisure birthed a profound scientific insight.

Thus, we should not hesitate to step out of our routine grind. By opening ourselves to the unexpected (or even just setting aside time for the mundane walks and baths), we pave the way for creativity to flourish.

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The art of praising

Is praise always good? Yes it is, because it is better than criticising someone or complaining about someone.

But is there a good way and a bad way to praise someone? Yes there is apparently.

An example is while praising kids. Singling out one kid and praising that kid alone for a correct answer is a bad way. Why? Because the kid feels rewarded for his knowledge of that one answer. This is good, but no one knows everything. At the same time, the other kids who may not have have known that one answer will feel left out.

A better way of praising is to acknowledge and call out the behaviour and the effort. Such as commending them for participating in the class. Or praising the effort required to read up before the class. By focusing on the behaviours and efforts, the praise is far more sustainable too. Because it reinforces the need to continue such good behaviour, not just in that one person, but in everyone around them. And while one answer everyone may not know, a behaviour everyone can cultivate and effort – everyone can put in!

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Dancy dancy

Many toddlers love the idea of dancy dancy. Just dancing or prancing around or bum-shaking to some beats or music as though no one is watching. Ah, the bliss, even just for a watching passerby.

On the flip side, I can’t shake a leg even if held at gunpoint. The ear-limb coordination just does not exist. But my mind in this respect is as though of a different breed. It can dance all day and all night, and sway to pretty much any tune. Gossip somewhere? Okay let’s dance in that direction. Breaking news somewhere else? Okay let’s shimmy toward there now.

Indeed my mind might be the greatest dancer of all, never once sitting still. Which might sound like a contender for the Guinness Book of World Records, but on the path of meditation, it might score the lowest.

What is the solution? I have no idea. But maybe Osho’s thoughts below leave a clue?

Meditation is not anything of the mind, it is something beyond the mind. The first step is to be playful about it. It is a song to be sung, a dance to be danced. Take it as fun and you will be surprised: if you can be playful about meditation, meditation will grow in leaps and bounds... 
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Ataraxia

Came across this interesting term called “ataraxia” by Greek philosopher Epicures. It means “not being troubled”.

Not being troubled by what? By anything. Not taking the whole world’s problems and putting it on our heads. Not constantly living in anxiety.

All we need is some food, water and shelter. That’s how we relax too, isn’t it. Nothing much else is required.

The mind is at peace only when it isn’t desperately looking to acquire something else.

As Nathaniel Hawthorne says, “Happiness is like a butterfly, which when pursued is always beyond our grasp, but if you sit still down quietly, may alight upon you.”

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Scientific spirituality

The world today only believes in what can be proven and replicated.

Several scientists and R&D experts perform countless experiments and these result in new discoveries and inventions and gadgets that ultimately end up in our homes and pockets.

The tech revolution is incredible, and it has helped humanity in unbelievable ways. What was meant only for the kings of yesteryear is now available to everyone.

All thanks to science. And scientists. No one scientist is responsible for everything, but collectively over the years, massive progress has been made.

But yet, there are many things science hasn’t fully understood, including the nature of life itself.

Spirituality has the answer, and maybe is itself the answer. But science appears to always be at loggerheads with spirituality.

This is not the case. The only difference is that technology can be outsourced to scientists. But in spirituality, we are each individually the scientist. The answer needs to be discovered by each one of us.

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Forcefully yours

Here’s an interesting thought I came across.

How do we steady the mind? How do we prevent it from having thoughts? By sleeping of course!

In sleep, all the thoughts of the awakened state, at least whatever we were thinking about just before sleeping, is all gone.

But can we force ourselves to sleep? Impossible. The more we force ourselves to sleep by thinking that we should sleep, the more active and stressed out our mind becomes!

The 4 states of the mind – active, sleeping, dreaming and dhyan (meditative and ‘awakened’) are all natural states. If we “try” to reach these states, then we effectively only prevent these states from happening.

What can we do then? Simply prepare conditions for these favorable states to come about (like ensure a fit body for instance!).

PS: Dhyan, according to Shri Durga Charan Mishra is when one is doing something and becomes one with that process, then it is a state of dhyan, meditation.

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Winning the lottery

In a book called Attitude is Everything by Jeff Keller, there is an interesting (and familiar!) story.

There was a woman named Sally. She was just like any of us, living her life, going through her daily routine. One day, she found herself feeling extremely tired. When asked how she was, she responded honestly, “I’m tired.” This simple statement reinforced her belief that she was tired, making her feel even more fatigued. Her day at work was unproductive, and she brought herself and her co-worker down with her negativity.

Later that day, Sally discovered she had won the lottery. In an instant, her fatigue vanished, replaced by an overwhelming sense of excitement and energy. She was no longer the tired woman from earlier in the day. She was now a bundle of energy, celebrating her win and planning what to do with her newfound wealth.

Was this transformation due to some physical change in Sally’s body? Absolutely not. In just a few seconds, her mindset shifted from exhaustion to exhilaration. As Jeff concludes, we each hold a winning lottery ticket. This ticket is called our attitude!

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Rejection dejection

All rejections are bad right? Maybe not…

The founders of Google wanted to sell the company for $1 million back in 1999. But they were rejected, and dejected. Today that company is worth some $1.5 trillion!

Netflix was to be sold to Blockbuster at $50m, but was rejected. Today it’s ~$200bn!

7 out of 7 investors rejected investing in Airbnb at an early stage. The company was worth not even a million. Today it’s some $100bn.

If these companies had not received their rejections, what would have happened?

Time to believe that rejections and suffering and pain are good, not bad, maybe even great. Because that is when the real growth happens.

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Great work

This is what we all want people around us to say to us. “Great work!”

But how can we do great work if we don’t like our work much? That’s what Paul Graham writes about in a recent post of his. Great advice.

He says that it’s a bit of a hit or miss, finding your so-called passion in life. If you find it, then you are among the rarest of the rare.

But what if you don’t, or haven’t yet?

Mr. Graham’s advice? Keep trying. Keep increasing the surface area for luck to find you. Don’t just drift along and hope for a eureka moment. Take action! Success stories often involve serendipity: chance meetings or stumbling upon the right book. Luck is the secret ingredient. How do you attract luck? Be curious!

In his own words:

"Try lots of things, meet lots of people, read lots of books, ask lots of questions." 
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What is the karmic reason behind…

On a recent podcast (or videocast interview maybe?) with Smriti Irani, an exceptionally talented and empathetic Union Cabinet Minister of India, she was asked an interesting and important question.

“Do you believe in the role of destiny, luck, karma, circumstance etc. in bringing you to where you are in life today?”

“Yes, I do”, pat came the reply.

The follow up. “Why do you think God chose you for this role?”

This answer came even faster. “I have no idea. And anyone who tells you they do is lying!”

“Do you think about this?”

This to me was the clincher. “Not at all. I just say thank you. Because this opportunity that I have, is not an opportunity to question ‘why'”

How extraordinary a response is that! Absolutely love it.

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Mind bound

Remember Mind Bind from just 3 years ago?

The Amritabindu Upanishad which my Guru keeps referencing (because it is so awesome!) says mana-eva kaaranam mokshaaya bandhaaya. The mind alone is the reason, for both liberation and bondage. Said simply, the mind is both the problem, and the solution.

He recently in a talk beautifully added a couple more rhyming words at the end.

mana-eva kaaranam mokshaaya bandhaaya

mana-eva kaaranam dukhaaya sukhhaaya

mana-eva kaaranam maanaaya apamaanaaya

mana-eva kaaranam sarva vishayaaya!

So simply profound!

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sf – part 4

When author Polina Pompliani interviewed Francis recently, she says she asked him, “Okay, but how did you bet on yourself, like your entire life?” And he replied, “The entire time that I was doing this, I kept asking myself, ‘What do I have to lose?’” And the answer was, “Nothing. I can just keep trying and betting on myself and gaining the skills and learning the lessons.”

What was her takeaway?

She says she discovered the utmost importance of believing in oneself, by embracing one’s passions and skills. It may be daunting, but taking that leap of faith is crucial. Despite the risks, Francis fearlessly pursued his dreams. Failure held no sway over him, as he possessed the resilience to adapt and persevere.

Francis added, “I know that if I fail, I can start over and over and over and over. I have that skill, and you can take everything from me, but you cannot take that.” And when Polina asked him if he identifies as ‘the heavyweight champion of the world’, Francis replied, “Absolutely not because there’ve been many before me and there’ll be many after me.”

What an outstanding story isn’t it? Thanks for reading!

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sf – part 3

After enduring countless setbacks, Francis refused to be deterred. On his fifth attempt, fate smiled upon him, and he successfully crossed the treacherous waters to reach Spain.

Though faced with a brief period of detention upon arrival, Francis remained steadfast, knowing that asylum was within his grasp.

From Spain, his journey led him to the vibrant streets of Paris. Homeless and destitute, he found refuge in the shelter of a humble parking garage. Despite its meagre surroundings, Francis saw it as a sanctuary — or rather a luxurious haven in comparison to the harrowing ordeals he had overcome and the home he had grown up in.

By a stroke of luck, Francis found a boxing gym nearby. A perceptive trainer recognized his potential. The gym closed soon after, but fate led him to the “MMA Factory.” Unfamiliar with MMA (Mixed Martial Arts), he embraced the challenge. With relentless training, he became the heavyweight champion. In just nine years, he transformed from novice to dominant force. He ventured to the US, making his mark in the UFC, leaving the world in awe.

What does he say today when he looks back? Concluded tomorrow!

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sf – part 2

Why “sf”? For San Francisco of course, because that was his dream. Maybe it helped that his name Francis was embedded in the name San Francisco as well, who knows!

At the age of 28 (just ten years ago, in 2013), he knew he wasn’t getting to America directly. So he set his sights on Europe first. Was that easy? Not at all.

From Cameroon to Niger, Nigeria to Algeria, and finally, Algeria to Morocco, he traversed over 3,000 miles through the unforgiving desert. The magnitude of this feat cannot be overstated—it was sheer madness. With unwavering determination, he set his sights on crossing from Morocco to Spain, boarding a raft to brave the treacherous waters of the Strait. But the path to freedom was riddled with obstacles. It took him a gruelling 14 months to complete this ridiculous journey, constantly facing the threat of being pulled from the water. The Moroccan authorities, known for their harsh treatment of refugees, would often cast them back into the merciless desert or confine them to indefinite periods in Moroccan jails.

This happened to him four times. Continued tomorrow!

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sf – part 1

Super story here, of one Francis Ngannou, who I never heard of until today.

In the MMA / UFC (fighting/boxing) world, he’s a world champion, but given I do not follow the sport, his story was a revelation in incredible perseverance to get to the top.

Francis was born in Cameroon. He was digging sand mines as a kid for $1.8 a day. ‘Abject poverty’ would barely begin to describe him.

His only dream? To become a professional boxer and that too in America. While working at the sand mines, he’d be daydreaming about the USA and his boxing success.

So much so that everyone around him called him “sf”, for San Francisco. Even till today, he signs his name as “sf”!

Continued tomorrow!

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Selfimage pilgrimage

In the years of lore, what would people do during vacations? Travel the world? Chill on a hill? Rest in the west?

Maybe, but mostly no. They would often use the few weeks a year of downtime to head for their pilgrimages.

Today? Even the few pilgrimages are spent little on the Lord and mostly on taking selfies and reels of the way to the place. Hundreds of phone-cameras abound everywhere, with the focus being on the screen, rather than on the idol.

Swami Sivananda said the following about pilgrimages:

... If, after the pilgrimage, you prove that you have been purged of all sins... that you have been filled with spiritual vibrations of the sublime atmosphere you have sojourned in, and if you live a pure life of righteousness, devotion, truth, love... you have been liberated. The pilgrimage has served its purpose.

How do our own pilgrimages look like?

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Get down

My Guru narrated an outstanding short story on Guru Purnima.

The head of Gita Press likened our lives and creation to that of a vast ocean on which a boat is floating.

We have each been various species of animals and maybe even plants one birth after another. Some 8 million times, maybe more.

Now we’ve finally got a human birth, and are as if on that boat which has come very close to the shore.

If we don’t get off the boat, we will drown, and possibly go back all the way, one specie to another, one birth after another.

All we need to do is to get off the boat. The land is Vaikuntha. We just need to get off. But are we able to?

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I me my who

My Guru asked a simple yet startling question recently in one of his talks.

It’s not a question we don’t know from before. But that doesn’t make it any less startling.

His question was, that if we see a dead body, we refer to it as, “his dead body” or “her dead body”.

So that body is lying there. Finished. Finito. No life in it.

And yet we say “his” or “her” body.

Who is that “his” or “her” then?

We may know the answer. But do we really truly understand it?

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Rich walls

Came across a life story (his own) narrated by a stylish and talented Indian actor of yesteryear called Jackie Shroff.

He was describing his own poverty-stricken upbringing. Some 6-7 people slept huddled on the floor of his 1 room house.

When he or his siblings would cough as kids, his mother would just reach out and put her hand on their chest and and rub and calm them down.

And then, he says, they became rich and famous. Big cars and big houses.

No more sleeping huddled together on the floor. Everyone had their own rooms. And one day his mother suffered a heart attack in the adjacent room and passed away.

Jackie recounted how as the money came, the walls came too. His mother was in the other room, behind the walls, and so he couldn’t hear her cry out for help. Nobody heard her, else she might have been saved. He says that if he didn’t have the money, they may still have been sleeping on the floor together, and he would have immediately known his mother’s discomfort and saved her.

So thoughtful isn’t it?

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Moodle maps

Came across a cute story where a man was having back to back office calls. His little daughter was insistent on playing with him at exactly that time.

So he hatched a quick plan. He saw a picture of a world map lying on table. He quickly tore it up into many pieces and gave it to his child to put it back together. A fun puzzle and one that would take a while to solve!

To his surprise, his daughter was back in a few minutes, having put the entire thing together. The man was shocked. How? Was she a geography-savant?

His baby girl told him that on the back side of the map was a picture of a person. All she had to do was to put the person together, and the map would come back on its own!

The lesson for me: When we find inner harmony, when we are put together properly, when our mood swings don’t destroy us, the world will be taken care of.

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Which-sided?

We’re supposed to give up all attachments on the path of spirituality. But what are these attachments like?

1. Our attachment to material things. This is purely one-sided. No matter how much you try, your favorite Rolls Royce will not love you back.

2. Our attachment to other human beings. This can be one-sided and two-sided, although not always at the same time. It’s sometimes a function of necessity. We’re attached more to those who we need more, for the present moment at least. When circumstances change, attachment levels change.

3. Our attachment to God and Guru. This can be two-sided, especially in times of trouble, when we desperately need divine help and blessings to extract ourselves out from a specific situation. But it is at least always one-sided, because God and the Guru are always thinking about us, ever compassionate, ever loving.

Perhaps the more #1 and #2 are given up, the more #3 increases!

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Dumb choice

The story of legendary mountaineer Anker Conrad is incredible. He set out on a daring expedition with his best friends, fully prepared for the challenges they might face, as they climbed Mount Shma. However, fate had a different plan. An unforeseen avalanche struck, forcing Anker to make a split-second decision that would change everything.

What did he do?

He simply decided to dive left as the avalanche hit. His two colleagues dove right. Anker suffered a broken collarbone. Bad for sure, but at least he recovered. His two friends? Their bodies were only retrieved after many years.

His decision to go left was a simple ‘dumb-luck’ call as he himself admits. While not all such decisions may be life or death, many times in our lives, we too make sudden choices, with no knowledge of the future. It is the same for everyone.

When we look at successful people today, we assume they always did everything perfectly. Not true, because everyone has these dumb-choice moments. Best not to read too much into predicting the future by exactly following others paths. No one knows what is coming next. We each simply do our best, that’s it.

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Creative juices and snacks – part 2

Creativity is not a fleeting muse however; it’s a muscle that grows stronger with practice, and that is my big takeaway. Achatz’s journey exemplifies this truth.

What’s the worst that could happen to a chef? Him losing his sense of taste right? Well poor chef Achatz was diagnosed with tongue cancer. A seemingly cruel blow, for one who’s creative expressions rests nay depends on the use of his tongue!

Despite battling tongue cancer and losing his ability to taste, the chef didn’t let it dampen his creativity. In fact, he let it fuel his innovation even more.

Achatz discovered that taste is just one aspect of the dining experience. By leveraging his other senses (smell, sight, sound) and incorporating visual illusions, he created even more mind-boggling culinary surprises than before.

Shows that creativity is not just about inspiration or talent; but also about consistent work, dedication and a never-say-never attitude to one’s craft.

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Creative juices and snacks – part 1

We all would like to get our creative juices flowing. It’s always astounding to see professionals unleash their creativity and create some truly magnificent works of art, whether it be literary, or art, or even culinary!

A Chicago based chef I’d never heard of really intrigued me. Grant Achatz, considered a creative genius – is the chef behind Chicago’s cutting-edge restaurant Alinea.

How does chef Achatz get his ideas? He simply draws inspiration from various disciplines and infuses them into his culinary masterpieces. Achatz’s brain naturally forms connections between unrelated concepts, and he takes full advantage of this ability. Here are two lovely examples:

In a museum, a large-scale painting sparked Achatz’s imagination: “I want to eat off of that!” This inspiration transformed the tablecloth at Alinea into an edible work of art, adorned with sauces that resemble a masterpiece.

While listening to a song by Rage Against the Machine, Achatz envisioned an extraordinary dining experience with thrilling peaks and captivating valleys, just like the song. He transformed this musical flow into a culinary story that takes guests on a rollercoaster of flavors and emotions.

Concluded tomorrow!

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Ego-less pursuit

We keep reading about and coming across this concept of “giving up the ego”. What does it really mean? How will we feel after the ego is gone? Does it mean we will not have any identity left?

Here is a take from Swami Niranjanananda Saraswati:

If you begin to carve a statue out of a stone, what self-identity is the stone losing? None; rather, it is developing a new identity that will be witnessed and appreciated by many people. Similarly, in spiritual life there is no loss of self-identity; rather the distorted perceptions are corrected, the aggressive ego expressions are redefined, the new wiser you, the new creative you, becomes the new identity.

Interesting, isn’t it? Now if I could just make my ego go!

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Learning by immersion

One of the best ways to learn a language is supposed to be by immersion. What does this mean?

Instead of learning the vocabulary first, memorizing from flashcards and studying the grammar and so on, imagine you are uprooted and placed in a remote village in the country of the language you are trying to learn! Even to get water or go to the loo, you’ll need to begin speaking the lingo – and hence the immersion!

Another lovely story on immersion (not in verbal languages, but the universal language of spirituality!). A pot with 5 holes needed to be kept full of water. What is the solution for this?

Everyone will answer that we need to plug or cover the holes with various materials. All correct no doubt.

But Sant Gurunanak had the best answer. To immerse the pot itself in water, as that is the only permanent solution! The spiritual analogy of course is that our 5 senses, if they truly need to become selfless and have no attachment, then immersion in the Lord is the only way.

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Mind placid

We all want a placid mind when we meditate.

But the mind is a creature of habit.

Is the mind placid when we go about our normal routine?

Like when we are in office, how much time do we really spend on the task at hand? How quickly is our mind diverted to the notifications piling in on our phone? Or to the thought of what happened at home as we were leaving for work?

Or even when we are at home. If a family member is speaking to us – the spouse, the kids, the parents, anyone – are we looking them in the eye and giving our complete attention? Or is the mind simply darting from one thought to another?

Throughout the day, if the mind is constantly flitting like a bee from one flower to the next, then how can we expect it to sit still only during a 15 minute meditation practise in the morning?

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Presi for a day

It’s very cute, these little childhood essays we used to get. “What would you do if you were PM or President for a day?”

And everyone would write all sorts of things – trying to resolve every problem one ever encountered in their lives.

“Ah, if only I had the power to change the world…”

The reality isn’t that the answer is difficult, but perhaps that the question itself is wrong. In today’s world of hyperinstant gratification, even the PM’s role has been reduced to results demanded in 24 hours!

As many greats have said, nothing worth having in life comes easy (aka quickly). It would be best to focus on becoming better versions of ourselves each and every day, leading to an unimaginably profound longer term impact.

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Kind is the new smart

A recent graduation speech at Northwestern University by Gov. Pritzker caught my eye.

And it wasn’t because he was using funny lines from the hit TV sitcom “The Office”, blissfully unaware that the lead actor from the show was in the audience for his own daughter’s graduation (ya, true story!).

He made some lovely points, but the takeaway for me was on the importance of kindness.

Over my many years in politics and business, I have found one thing to be universally true: the kindest person in the room is often the smartest.
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ThreEY

In a recent interview that I was reading, Carmine Di Sibio, the global chairman and CEO of the Big 4 Consulting firm EY, shared three valuable lessons from his own journey that I found quite useful:

1. Embrace Change:
Di Sibio emphasizes the importance of not being afraid to change paths, even if it means deviating from your original plan. Drawing from his personal experience, he reveals that he initially pursued a degree in chemistry with the intention of becoming a doctor. However, through an internship at a hospital, he discovered that medicine wasn’t the right fit for him. This realization led him to change course and embark on a career in business. Di Sibio advises us to remain flexible, acquire new skills, and keep an open mind as the evolving landscape of technology reshapes the future of work.

2. Foster Collaboration:
While competition often takes center stage in the business world, Di Sibio highlights the value of collaboration. He shares his own journey of studying business as a liberal arts graduate and how he learned the most from his classmates. Despite working for competing organizations during the day, they came together in the evening to study and collaborate on projects. Di Sibio believes that successful collaboration enhances one’s ability to handle challenges and seize opportunities. He illustrates this through EY’s collaborations with various organizations, including competitors, to create custom solutions and address pressing societal issues. Embracing collaboration can lead to personal and professional growth.

3. Challenge the Status Quo:
Questioning the status quo is a fundamental aspect of creating a better future, according to Di Sibio, who stresses the importance of asking bold questions throughout one’s career. He encourages graduates to challenge established norms, both within their organizations and in society at large. Di Sibio shared the story of EY’s ambitious initiative, Project Everest, which aimed to redefine the industry by splitting the organization into two separate entities. Although the project was eventually put on hold, valuable insights were gained, and the process sparked innovation and opened new conversations. Di Sibio believes that real change often requires persistence and a willingness to learn from setbacks.

Simple, but great points no?

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Outliving

In a super duper book called Outlive by Dr Peter Attia, he explores ways in which we can not just live longer but live longer healthily.

That’s key, isn’t it? Who wants to live to 120 but spend the last 40 years in a hospital?!

Apart from several eye openers for me, one finding in particular I found very interesting. The doc references and reviews all available and ongoing research on supercentenerians, i.e. those living above 100.

His aim? To find a gene or two that is common across all these people which leads to such ultra longevity. The result? There is no such gene. Why? Because the author says nature and evolution simply doesn’t want anyone to live forever, rather just enough to reproduce and pass genes on to the next generation! That’s why after a certain age, hair greys out or falls off, and wrinkles develop and what not. Nature realizes that by that time, finding a mate and procreation has likely already happened and there’s no need for the “parent” to continue.

It’s a sobering but realistic take on anyone who believes they have all the money and power in the world and expect to live forever. Nature has spoken. For the spiritual aspirants, it’s simply the quality of life one has lived and how much they have done for others that matters, nothing else!

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Obamazing

Was watching a short clip of ex US president Barack Obama. Without bothering about political leanings (as always!) in this blog, here are two excellent suggestions he had for the youth of today.

  1. Don’t go to your boss with problems. Instead go to him/her and say “I’ll take care of it”.
  2. In life, focus on what you want to do, not what you want to be.

That’s all folks, how thought provoking!

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GiGo

Just like FiFo or First in First out, there’s also GiGo or Garbage in Garbage out.

Like for computers. If we feed even a supercomputer with trash inputs, we will likely get trash outputs only from it.

What about ourselves? We are no different.

We may consume high quality food for the body. But what about high quality food for the mind?

With everything that is written, spoken, shown on TV, all sorts of propaganda, all unverifiable news nuggets, and not to mention, the perils of social media – are we really feeding our minds high quality food?

Forget what comes out, but if we feed our minds garbage, maybe we will become garbage. And if we feed love and harmony, we too will becoming loving, lovable and harmonious.

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Rolex flex

Everyone knows the value of a Rolex. Sometimes the price is so high that it’s shocking. But why is this the case? And do we have some lessons for how value is created? For me, for sure! Here’s what was in a recent half page Rolex ad in the paper:

WHAT MAKES A ROLEX A ROLEX?
It's not the wheels and cogs. It's not the steel we shape nor the gold we forge. It's not the sum of every single part that we design, craft, polish and assemble with countless skills and constant care. It's the time it takes. The numerous days and months that are necessary until we can print this single word on each individual dial leaving our workshops: "Superlative." It's the mark of our autonomy, responsibility and integrity. This is all we make, but we make it all. So that, in time, you can make it your own. 

As we well know, all good things, take time. So no need to worry if success isn’t imminent, as long as the effort is going in!

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Butterfly effect

In ancient China, there was a philosopher-mystic named Chuang Tzu. He once woke up in the middle of the night very alarmed. His disciples rushed to his bedside and asked him what happened.

Chuang Tzu said he dreamt he was a butterfly, blissfully fluttering in nature’s embrace, flitting from one flower to the next.

Upon awakening, he was now pondering: Was he a man who dreamed of being a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming of being a man? Was he in a dream then? Or was he in a dream now?

Do we know for sure? Perhaps we will never know.

That’s why our Gurus, our ancients and our scriptures ask us to focus on the one true changeless Consciousness. Chuang Tzu’s tale also reminds us to appreciate the beauty of change and find harmony amidst uncertainty.

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The name’s Bond

No, not James Bond. But Ruskin Bond, the well known author.

Was reading an interview of his recently. And I loved two of his answers.

1) What is your relationship with technology?

I am technology-illiterate. I have no mobile or laptop. I use that wonderful invention called the ballpoint pen to write. I am not against technology, but I'm not a slave to it.

2) What are your vanities and vulnerabilities?

Well, I'm proud of my work, but I don't brag about it. I know writers have big egos, so I try to control mine. I tell myself, there are other writers in the world, too! Vulnerabilities? I am sensitive and get hurt easily if someone says something overly critical of me. You have to know me to understand my vanities and vulnerabilities!

Such down to earth responses!

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The Truth

Came across some lovely lines related to the Consciousness within, in an article recently on Integral Health.

The secret truth behind everything lies in its divinity, this is what makes all evolution possible. To access one's Truth is the key to well-being. It governs every process unwinding in the universe. It has a dynamic power and we must unite with it.
The key to healing, is to allow the Truth's influence to percolate everywhere in our being. Once the inner Agni and aspiration is lit, the fusion begins. However, the fire must be tended to at all times because we are nothing without aspiration.
Every single particle of terrestrial existence contains the Truth at its core. Evolution is the gradual manifestation of this Truth. 
Together with Love, it is the source of our wellness. The Truth has a way of unifying and harmonising the discordant parts of our nature. Illness and disease cannot ultimately persist where Truth resides. Its effect on mind, life and body is instantaneous: it spontaneously harmonises and aligns. Establishing it in our nature is critical to our psychological and physical well-being.
With persistence and patience, the answer will come. The means to this healing is through sustained practice. The process of connecting the body to the Truth brings peace, harmony and equilibrium to our entire being. We are raised to a sublime vibration, which radiates to the world the Truth that shines from within. 
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Sound medical advice

A recent article written by a medical professional was unique I thought.

Instead of talking about which medicines to take, the doctor was suggesting that the best form of defence against diseases, is a good attitude!

“Amiability” was the word used. Plain old good-naturedness. That’s what seems to have a protective effect on health.

Know what the cure mentioned for “chronic hostility” was?

Simple. “Try to be more forgiving!”

Pollution from wildfires and vehicle emissions is outside no doubt. But we are also deeply polluted in our minds. No wonder then that diseases abound. But the right attitude and living the virtues are quick fixes.

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Shadow monster

A man once achieved success. But he soon felt his sense of achievement dwindling away. And felt that he had to achieve more.

So he ran and ran, faster and faster. But he didn’t like that his shadow was catching up to him all the time.

So what did he do? He ran faster of course! No matter what he did, he couldn’t shake it off.

Of course, he could have just stepped into the shade.

But the man dropped dead soon enough, having tired himself out in the constant search for external perfection.

Life isn’t about that. Life is about finding internal perfection.

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Ness

The ultimate spiritual teaching seems to focus on Nothingness. That nothing we see around us is real. Nothing is truly relevant, because in the long run, we are all reduced to nothing. The 3 gunas sattva rajas and tamas are great, but if you want to attain God you have to go beyond, to nothing. Ego is the root cause of all problems, so give up ego, and become one with nothing.

But is this practical? Not for me at least, nope. The flip side to nothing is everything. Instead of constantly being focused only on ourselves, we can focus on others around us, which will automatically drive down the ego. The Lord might be in nothing, but He sure is in everything as well. Gratitude for everything we have in life is much easier than gratitude in nothing. While creation might seem unreal in a spirituality textbook, everything is real enough to us inside this body.

So its perhaps not Nothingness, but Everythingness that is an easier answer.

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35 and above

Is 35 a good number? If it’s age, then not so much, because 25 is better.

But if it’s marks on an exam? In a world where even high-scoring 99s aren’t enough, what is a mere 35?

So I was pleasantly surprised to see a newspaper article about a family celebrating the graduation of the son from grade 10.

What did he score? Yes you guessed it, 35! Not just in one subject, but in all the subjects!

35 is pass mark. 35 and your good. 34 you’ve to repeat the year.

For a family that was surving hand to mouth, with limited education facilties, this boy cleared his exams, even if just barely, and it was enough for a whole lot rejoicing.

Surely the little things in life count (upto 35 at least)!

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Questioning the basics

In pretty much every field that we begin to learn, we do not question the end.

Take biology. Even today, we don’t understand it fully. And yet, we have biologists and zoologists and all types of medical professionals, who never questioned whether biology exists, but simply began working towards their goal, studying and researching day after day.

Ditto for physics and chemistry and every other field out there.

When changes occur in the understanding, then the learning process is quickly re-adapted.

But in spirituality alone, most non-believers first want to establish the presence of God (ie the end point) and understand Him in entirety. Just as any saint or realized soul would tell us, God is unknowable and unfathomable to the human mind and intellect.

So what’s the way out? Simply going back to the basics, and living a spiritual life, in service of others, not day by day, but second by second.

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Titaning the noose

Some people love to live on the precipice of danger. The thrill of adrenaline. I’ve never understood it.

Why would one stuff oneself into a small tube and go down the depths of the ocean to see a sunken ship? There must be some good reason that my tiny brain is unable to process.

And it’s not like the ride was free. It was a cool quarter of a million dollars per head. Phew! It’s like a 1000x magnified version of paying crazy ticket prices to go see a horror movie – as if the horrors of daily life aren’t enough!

Many people routinely do this – climbing mountain peaks that are overly crowded, or parkour on top of skyscrapers with no safety harnesses, or surf in shark infested waters. Why voluntarily increase the probability of throwing away one’s life?

As our scriptures tell us, this human birth is incredibly rare. Why do we want to throw it away? But as my Guru points out, if we are not on the spiritual path and constantly focused on the Lord, then we are anyway throwing our lives away!

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Sinless

Here’s a lovely take from Osho on what it means to be sinful and sinless:

Anything that stops your evolution in consciousness is evil. It is a sin. 
And anything that helps you to move toward more consciousness is a virtue. 
That's the only definition that I can give to you. 
Be more aesthetic, be more sensitive, be more respectful of life, because you are part of it. 
Whoever you are killing, you are killing yourself. Your destructiveness is suicidal.
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AAAA

Came across an interesting speech today. The gentleman was speaking about “How to be a good subordinate”.

I said, what?

The whole world is running after how to be a CEO and a leader and a master and a winner. And here this fellow is giving a talk on how to be a good subordinate?

Yep, because he has a good point. As he notes, one cannot attain the corner office at the age of 25 or 30. Good things, like the wisdom of experience, take time.

So how to be a good subordinate? Follow the 4As.

A for Accomplishment, as one needs to deliver. A for Affability, as one needs to be able to get along with one’s boss. A for Advocacy, of ourselves, because we are all salesmen, even if we aren’t in sales. A for Authenticity, because that’s we always need to be.

If I had to add one more A, it would be A for the Almighty, because without Him, nothing is possible!

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Inferior knowledge

It’s always good to know more about everything. Being a voracious reader and consumer of information is great. It can certainly help one make a mark in relationships. If the group you’re with is talking about sports or art or literature or finance or movies or science – doesn’t matter – because you’re still going to be able to contribute to the conversation and sound intelligent!

This is fantastic. But what if you don’t read much. Maybe you don’t have the time. Or maybe you aren’t interested, just aren’t able to read a book cover to cover, or watch educational videos much. Or maybe you do some or all of these, but still are blessed with a terrible memory (like yours truly!) that nothing sticks. Does it mean such people will never be able to build relationships?

Not quite. It’s a fallacy to think that the smartest and most talkative guy in the room is the winner. Sure such persons will have the spotlight on them. But more than anything, what people like, is to talk. And if you give them that opportunity, and listen to them really well, you can build far better relationships than you ever would simply by consuming a lot of knowledge.

This is fabulous, because it is easy. Doesn’t require preparation or complexes of inferiority. All it needs is to be aware and present in the moment. And as long as you get the other person speaking, and you are listening, you will be fine.

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Dealing with change

In a recent satsang, there was a query on how one should deal with change. The 3-step answer given by the speaker was brilliant.

  1. Accept that change will happen. We cannot slow ageing for instance. Or that many circumstances are beyond our control, and will naturally look different and evolve in different ways tomorrow. Not resisting change will solve half the problem.
  2. Dealing with change positively requires a purpose in life. While a professional and personal purpose is good, a spiritual purpose is a game changer and life changer.
  3. Eventually, we will realise, that the true purpose is not to run away from change, but to seek the truly changeless, that is there deep inside each one of us, who we may call God or Consciousness or Brahman etc.

So nice, isn’t it?

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The perils of numero uno

In a world consumed by the race for being the best,

We frequently forget the perils of this relentless quest.

Seeking validation, we sacrifice our peace of mind,

Leaving the true joy life holds far behind.

But the race to number one is an elusive game,

A mirage that flickers like a flame.

Happiness lies not in the laurels we achieve,

But in embracing nature and the lessons we receive.

So give up the pressure to always be at the peak,

Solace is in the journey, the joy that’s truly unique.

In being true to ourselves, we find our inner peace,

And be foreverhappynow, as our own masterpiece.

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Angry fellwoo

There’s a lovely heartwarming Korean TV series called Extraordinary Attorney Woo.

It focuses on autism and how anyone with such a disorder needs to be encouraged as they too can contribute to society. What we call normal, is perhaps just our own condescending and deluded version of how we see the world and expect it to function.

One scene I loved was when Attorney Woo-Young-Woo is shouted at by her superior at work.

If it was me in her place, it would have shaken me to the core. And I’d have been thinking about the incident for months thereafter.

But Attorney Woo? Being autistic, she doesn’t grasp emotions like anger instinctively. Instead she says, “Oh, your cheeks are getting red, your voice is rising, your ears are flexing, your nostrils are enlarging, your eyebrows are pointing upwards, oh – that means you must be getting angry!”

Deconstructed this way, that’s all anger really is, isn’t it? Why should we take the actions of someone else to our hearts?

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4 legged furore

There is a furore around practically everything nowadays, whether mundane or regal. When the PM of India inaugurated the new parliament building, there were all sorts of comments that were passed.

But as we well know, FHN is never political, and so we’ll steer clear of those things. But what I found intriguing is the staff / sceptre called sengol that was used in the ceremony.

It has a golden bull on the top, Nandi, the divine vehicle of Lord Shiva.

And what does it signify?

The 4 legs of the bull are symbolic of satyam (truth), shaucham (purity or cleanliness), daya (compassion) and tapas (austerity).

What it means, is that any king holding the sengol must abide by these 4 virtues. These are not virtues to be forced upon people, rather this is what the king himself must imbibe.

Any leader in the workplace today too can benefit by following these.

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Dematerialized

On a recent long flight for work, I was happy to just head back home after all the insane travel and hectic schedule. After the bags were checked-in, and my immigration cleared, it was time to just unwind and sleep on the plane.

We sat on the plane, and the plane sat on the tarmac, for the entirety of 6 hours. And then we were de-planed – back to square one as it were.

With no substitute flight in sight, the only option was to book another carrier. So take my luggage, and re-check-in and repeat the entire process. But the luggage didn’t come. The first plane’s cargo hold wouldn’t be opened because of a lack of manpower (impossible to fathom for those hailing from a country of 1.4 billion!).

Filing a complaint with the airport baggage services team resulted in an arrangement where the bags could / should be delivered directly to my home… within 22 days, or monetary compensation if undelivered!

Money cannot compensate for some of the things in the bag – gifts purchased for those back home for instance. Nor can it compensate for the lost time and energy. But such is life, providing first-hand practical lessons on the importance of de-materialism and its mental acceptance.

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Automatic waste

Came across an interesting thought today. Evolution has made it such that we have been constantly discarding things from time to time. Adapting to the cycle of change, as if it were.

The human appendix was important to digest tough food. Ear muscles would help point one’s ears to listen for predators. Sinuses once helped us with a keen sense of smell. The tailbone was once a tail.

All these body parts were useful at some point. But are no more so.

The same is true of our material possessions. But often times people continue to hoard more than ever necessary. Sometimes even unnecessary things are hoarded. We should perhaps take a cue from our bodies.

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Dear intern

In one of the largest tech companies in the world, a recently-joined intern messed up. The intern sent out a blank test email to thousands of the company’s customers.

A major faux-pas, if there was one.

The company immediately tried to fix the situation, apologizing on social media that it was a fat finger type error by an intern.

“Yes by an intern, so don’t blame the company.”

What I loved was seeing how the internet reacted to that. Truckloads of messages poured in of examples of people’s own mistakes, and more importantly, how they have still managed to survive and thrive till today!

Mistakes are a part and parcel of life, as long as learning from them is how we use them.

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Don’t believe everything you think – part 4

A final few excerpts from the brilliant book:

It’s not possible to just entirely stop thinking, but what we can do is reduce the time we spend thinking so that it gets smaller and smaller each day that passes. Eventually we can get to the point where we spend most of our day not caught up in our thinking and live in a blissful state most of the time. When we say that we want to stop thinking, many people assume that we are trying to stop all thoughts in general. This isn’t what we’re trying to do. Now that you know the difference between thoughts and thinking, we are working on allowing thoughts to come and flow through us while we minimize the thinking about those thoughts that emerge.
The most interesting and almost paradoxical thing about stopping our thinking is that we don’t have to do anything to minimize it other than to be aware of it. By us becoming aware that we are thinking and that it is the root cause of all our suffering, it automatically makes us conscious to that fact and we become detached to it, allowing it to settle and pass. This takes almost no effort and is done through pure presence in the moment.

Highly recommend reading the entire book!

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Don’t believe everything you think – part 3

A few more superb excerpts from the book:

What’s crazy is that most people didn’t have any thoughts going through their mind when they felt the happiest and the most amount of love in their lives. For those that had the thought that they were grateful, they felt that way before having that thought. If they had that thought, it happened after they felt the feelings, so the thought could not have produced the feeling. This brings us to another truth: you do not have to have thoughts or think to feel positive emotions.
It is not the content of our thinking that causes us stress, but that we are thinking, period. The amount of thinking we have going on is directly correlated to the magnitude of stress and negative emotions we are experiencing at any given moment. When you’re experiencing a lot of frustration, stress, anxiety, or any negative emotions, just know that it is because you’re thinking, and the intensity of those emotions is directly correlated to how much thinking is going on. Therefore, it’s not WHAT we’re thinking about that is causing us suffering, but THAT we are thinking. To summarize, we do not have to try to “think positive” to experience love, joy, bliss, and any positive emotions we want because it is our natural state to feel those emotions.
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Don’t believe everything you think – part 2

Continued today again, a few excerpts from the lovely book…

Our minds do an incredible job to keep us alive, but it does not help us thrive. It is concerned solely with our safety and survival, but not our fulfillment or joy. The mind’s job is to alert us of potential dangers in our environment that may threaten our lives. It does its job so well that not only will it scan our immediate surroundings for threats, but it will even reference our backlog of past experiences to create hypothetical scenarios and predict what it thinks could be future potential dangers based on our memories.
Thoughts are the energetic, mental raw materials which we use to create everything in the world. We can’t experience anything without thought. It’s important to know that thoughts are a noun and aren’t something that we do, but something we have. A thought takes no effort or force on our end, and it is something that just happens. We also cannot control what thoughts pop into our minds. The source of thoughts comes from something that is beyond our minds —the Universe, if you will. Thinking, on the other hand, is the act of thinking about our thoughts. This takes a significant amount of energy, effort, and willpower (which is a finite resource). Thinking is actively engaging with the thoughts in your mind. You don’t have to engage with each thought in your mind, but when you do, that is thinking. Thinking is the root cause of all our psychological suffering.
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Don’t believe everything you think – part 1

Just finished reading a very nice book called “Don’t believe everything you think”, by Joseph Nguyen. Some very interesting snippets:

It’s not about the events that happen in our lives, but our interpretation of them, which causes us to feel good or bad about something. This is how people in third world countries can be happier than people in first world countries and people in first world countries can be more miserable than people in third world countries. Our feelings do not come from external events, but from our own thinking about the events. Therefore, we can only ever feel what we are thinking.
The root cause of our suffering is our own thinking. Now before you throw this book across the room and light it on fire, I’m not saying that this is all in our heads and that it isn’t real. Our perception of reality is very real. We will feel what we think, and our feelings are real. That is completely undeniable . However, our thinking will look like an inevitable, unchangeable reality to us until we begin seeing how our reality is created. If we know that we can only ever feel what we are thinking, then we know that we can change our feelings by changing our thinking.

Superb no? More tomorrow…

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Cloying

You know that feeling when you’ve had way too many chocolates? And then you have just one more. And it then gets too darn sweet. An excessive level of sweetness that suddenly becomes unbearable? The big English word for this is cloying.

It’s an interesting word, and is reflective of society in some ways today. Folks can be sugary and sweet on the outside, but deep inside, almost everyone is boiling with anger or fear or jealousy. Sweetness that’s so sweet that it’s repulsive.

Often times, like the first many chocolates, all the problems of the world remain bottled up. Until one fine day, the proverbial last straw breaks the camel’s back.

How to tackle this? Perhaps by being more reflective. Not waiting to eat the last chocolate. And realizing that life will have its ups and downs. And in the midst of this all, if we can truly be sweet to others, that’s a winning proposition.

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Great deaths

A man was once seen lamenting the death of a close relative.

A friend approached him to offer condolences and to console him.

The man said he was crying not because his uncle died, but because he had left him an inheritance of a million dollars.

His friend was aghast. “You just got a million dollars, and you are crying?”

The man continued to cry. “Just yesterday, another uncle of mine died, and he too left me a million dollars.”

“And the day before that? One more uncle died, and he too left me a million dollars.”

The friend just couldn’t take it anymore, “You just inherited 3 million dollars out of thin air, and you are crying?”

“Yes”, said the man, “now I don’t have any more uncles who can die!”

What do we focus on in our lives? The money or the uncles?

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Fallow fellow

We all know what a fallow field is. It’s one where the farmer has let the field be as is for a year. No ploughing, no harvesting, nothing.

Why? Because after years and years of doing nothing but cultivation, the soil needs rest. And the one year of lying fallow provides exactly that, because all the nutrients in the soil get replenished.

This is no different from each one of us giving our bodies and minds some rest. Every second of every waking hour need not be maximized or productive. Too much of anything – either productivity or even leisure – isn’t great, as the Gita itself tells us.

Equanimity and moderation are key. Fallow is not shallow.

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Investments in life – part 2

A few more gems from the 2023 Berkshire Hathway event – applicable to investing, but more so for life and success and happiness itself!

  • Keep learning all your life.
  • Delay gratification
  • Avoid toxic people – get them out of your lives and do it fast
  • Know how people manipulate others and avoid doing that to other people
  • Praise by person, critize by category.
  • Anyone who had been kind has not died without friends… Can’t say the same about money.
  • The best part about investing is that there is uncertainty. If you play golf and score a hole in one then people won’t enjoy it… The fact that you hit in the woods and in the sand makes it more fun.

As my Guru says, living in uncertainty alone is spirituality!

Lovely no?

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Investments in life – part 1

The annual investment conference by Berkshire Hathway is a much loved event, with great fanfare for the Oracle of Omaha none other than 93 year old Warren Buffet himself. While it’s a very technical finance and investment oriented spectacle, there are some amazing takeaways for life as well. Here’s a few that I loved from 2023:

Road to human happiness is to keep your expectations low.
New things don't give you opportunities... What gives you opportunities is other people doing dumb things.
Most people today are competing in arenas where you don't need to fight. Your edge has to be thinking differently in terms of time horizons.
Most of the inheritance issues are specific to the families, dynamics and relationships. It's important to have this right... If you want to give them values, act and talk the values.
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Paradise city

The song Paradise City by Guns’n’roses is something everyone with even a little white hair today would remember and love. But where is paradise city? Where is paradise?

Here’s what Osho once wrote, about a Tibetan mystic named Marpa:

It was asked of a great Tibetan mystic, Marpa, "Where will you go when you die - heaven or hell?" Marpa said, "Surely I will be in lotus paradise". The man said, "But how can you be so certain? You have not died, and you don't know what God has in His mind."
Marpa said, "I'm not worried about God's mind, that is His business. I am certain of being in lotus paradise because of my mind. Wherever I am, I will be happy and it will be heaven, so it makes no difference whether I am thrown into hell or heaven, it is irrelevant. I carry my own lotus paradise with me, wherever I go."

Does our own paradise city have a lotus in it?

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Untold misery

There are untold miseries that many millions of people go through each day. We may even consider ourselves to be in that boat sometimes. Some people, all the time.

But what can help us get out of such a mental rut?

Faith only.

Faith in the Creator. Faith in the preceptor. Faith in oneself.

If the faith in any one of the three above is high, that should be enough.

As the Greek author Dinos Christianopoulos once said while addressing the literary community that once trashed his works,

'What didn't you do to bury me? But you forgot that I was a seed."
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Imposters

Ever got the feeling that you are just faking it in life? As though most people around us are great, always acing their work, while we are struggling to fill our shoes?

We know that this is the imposter syndrome at play.

Is it normal? Absolutely. There’ll always be some level of self-doubt in us, which leads to this. A few famous personalities, nay Gods or superhumans, themselves had imposter syndrome!

1) Lord Rama when he was enlisted by Rishis Vishwamitra and Vashishta to fight some demons that were troubling them.

2) Lord Hanuman when he was asked to cross the ocean and go to Lanka in search of Sita.

3) Arjuna the greatest warrior of all, when he went to the Kurukshetra battlefield, was terrified of fighting.

4) Post the war, King Yudhishtira, Dharma raja himself went into depression and had to be reminded of his kingly duties!

If these maestros struggled with imposter syndrome, then why should we worry? Of course, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t prep well before a test or performance or interview and so on. It might also be okay for us to cultivate comfort in expressing our lack of confidence, which in turn displays true confidence and provides reassurance even in professional settings. This approach can help us stay humble and grounded.

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Great Alex, Smart Alec

Everyone knows Alexander the Great for his Amazing and brutal conquests.

But maybe there’s another reason he is Great. Because he realized that all this materials greatness is of no value.

As he neared his death, he gave a set of 3 instructions to his aides.

1) That the best doctors in the country should walk beside his dead body. Why? To show that even the best medical help cannot prevent death.

2) That his all wealth be laid down from his kingdom to his grave. Why? To show that no amount of wealth earned in this life can be carried into the afterlife.

3) That his hands be left hanging outside his coffin, during the long procession to his grave. Why? Because even he, Alexander the Great, would go back from this world empty handed.

What a brilliant takeaway isn’t it? But here many are, constantly running after more and more wealth. Smart Alec in sight only…

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Captain cool

There’s only 1 Captain Cool in India, or at least only one who is nicknamed this and well known for it. No further suspense, and everyone knows anyway, none other than cricket legend MS Dhoni.

In a recent interview, he was asked how he always manages to remain so cool, calm and composed, even in times when games are so tense and spectators have chewed off all their nails!

His answer?

“Never think about the result.”

“Because it’s the result that brings in fear and leads to being the opposite of calm and cool and composed.”

“We control the controllables. Focus on what we can do. If we have put in all the effort, then the desired result has to come. And even if the desired result doesn’t come, then at least we would have grown in process.”

Such an outstanding lesson in stress management, from one who should arguably be amongst the most stressed out people in the country!

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Missing link

We all know that hard work is essential for success.

We also know that divine grace is equally essential, because there are so many things outside our control.

Is there a link between the two, ie, hard work and divine grace?

Is there a way to ensure divine grace can be added like a cherry on top of our hard work cake?

Yes indeed, the cream in the cake is nothing but devotion. The cherry gets auto-added, and that’s when the magic happens!

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Unconditional

We all know what unconditional love is. Such as the love we have for our parents and spouses and children. There is no condition that is attached. They do not have to do anything for us for our love to exist. This love is not transactional.

Similarly, there is unconditional creation. When creation becomes conditional, we call it “work”, or after a lovely Sunday, we call it “Monday morning blues”.

If we want to make money, that’s good. But our goal of making money is never the end, only a means to an end. Because the money itself is useless. It is a means for us to buy what we want or earn status in society. Thus whatever we create in order to get money becomes conditional. We are creating something to get something else, and hence we can never enjoy the process.

In unconditional creation, we work because we want to. No conditions attached. No T&Cs. Just unconditional chill.

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Faster and faster

That’s the world we live in. Going faster and faster, every minute, such that no amount of speed is enough.

But what about quality? Does concentration suffer? Is it even feasible to get work done when we are constantly running? Even if we aren’t running physically, our minds are running non-stop! Here’s a super representation of the same thing… Enjoy!

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What will you make?

Saw this short but brilliant clip of a boy maybe 5-6 years old being interviewed on a TV channel.

The news reporter asks him, “What do you wanna be when you grow up?”

He replies, “I wanna be a doctor.”

The reporter follows up with, “What will you make?”, clearly trying to see what amount of money would make the kid happy.

The child replies beautifully, “I will make… everyone feel good again.”

Isn’t that truly what doctors are supposed “to make”? And likewise every profession is supposed “to make”? Money is necessary, but is also polluting at times…

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What are we asking for?

Imagine Lord Krishna manifests momentarily in front of us. What are we asking him?

A bonus, a promotion, leading to plenty of wealth. But wait, what if we can get this wealth without even having to work. That’s a better ask. And then solid health. Not just for us, but all our family members as well. And a good lifestyle. The various modern comforts. And then just enough social interaction that would be enough for us to maintain such a lifestyle. A few (or many) nice foreign vacations too. Perhaps also a resolution to various relationship issues that might be ongoing with friends and relatives.

It’s already a decently long list, and we can only hope that Krishna has the time and patience to listen to us.

But He is God, and has all the time and patience in the world (universe, all of creation)!

Another option is that we could consider not asking Him for anything at all. Simply being happy that we already have everything, and thanking Him in gratitude.

What might He prefer?

And His manifestation isn’t just a hypothetical question. He is truly around us and with us all time, even if we do not realize it. What are we thinking about asking Him all the time then?

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Thinking about what

The last few days when I’ve sat for my morning meditation, I’ve meditated on only one thing. My office work.

No gods, no deities, no spiritual stuff, no religious stuff, nothing else. Only work.

It’s almost frustrating! I close my eyes, and instead of silence, I see various tasks I need to complete, various potential outcomes of several different assignments, projections into the future of what may be or may not be, bonuses or the lack thereof, promotions or the lack thereof, various nasty things that colleagues and bosses may say, and on and on it goes.

My mind is so noisy that any outside sound is completely drowned out. It shows me how consumed I am by my office work, that I’m unable to set aside 15 minutes a day to think of anything but that!

On the flip side, I console myself that at least I can concentrate on “something”, even if it’s not the right thing to concentrate on for now. Slow and steady….hopefully!

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Spiritual maturity

For one who is spiritually immature, everything that happens in life is classified into either good or bad. Going through tough circumstances, not achieving what was expected, getting an earful from a senior, falling ill, having relationship issues… the list is endless, and all these would immediately go into the bad bucket.

Is life any different for one who is spiritually mature? No, they go through the same trials and tribulations. Or at least so it would seem to a neutral external observer.

But for a spiritually mature person, there is no good or bad to begin with. The two buckets do not even exist. All happenings are seen as is, as they are, with no human filter of good or bad. What seems bad today, might turn out to be a blessing in disguise, in the future. What seems amazing today might be a hidden devil.

Even for the seemingly very bad things which happen to them, the spiritually evolved souls realize that this is all a play of past karma and maya only. And hence they do not categorize those as good or bad either – simply as things that happen and nature taking its course. That’s what is meant by “witness consciousness”.

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Superbstition

It’s become fashionable in today’s day and age to state that one is indeed spiritual but certainly not religious. Because religion is supposedly full of superstition.

Many religious practices involve the use of candles, lamps, bells, and other ritual objects. To some people, these practices might seem superstitious or unnecessary. But from a daily life perspective, these objects can actually have a calming and positive effect on us.

For example, lighting a candle or a lamp can create a warm and peaceful atmosphere in our homes. The soft glow of the flame can help us relax and unwind after a long day. Similarly, the sound of bells or chimes can be soothing and calming, helping us to focus and center ourselves.

Chants and bhajans, too, can have a positive effect on our mental and emotional well-being. The repetition of a mantra or sacred phrase can quiet our minds and bring us a sense of inner peace. These practices have been shown to reduce stress and anxiety, improve mood, and even boost the immune system.

If we find ourselves drawn to a religious practice, we may not need to dismiss it as superstitious or unnecessary. Instead, we can embrace it as a way to bring more peace and positivity into our lives.

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Logic of the greatest scientist

Einstein, the greatest scientist of all, had this to say about God:

Your question is the most difficult in the world. It is not a question I can answer simply with yes or no. I am not an Atheist. I do not know if I can define myself as a Pantheist. The problem involved is too vast for our limited minds. May I not reply with a parable? The human mind, no matter how highly trained, cannot grasp the universe. We are in the position of a little child, entering a huge library whose walls are covered to the ceiling with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written those books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. The child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books, a mysterious order, which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of the human mind, even the greatest and most cultured, toward God. We see a universe marvelously arranged, obeying certain laws, but we understand the laws only dimly. Our limited minds cannot grasp the mysterious force that sways the constellations.

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Thoughtful fears

Fear doesn’t spring from ciscumstances. Rather it comes from our thoughts.

When we are in deep sleep and a tiger is nearby, we may still continue to sleep blissfully.

But if we have heard rumors of a tiger lurking in the area, then we may not be able to sleep peacefully, even when we know that we are within four walls.

When our thoughts move, trying to piece together a future where uncertainty seems apparent, our fear levels begin to rise. In reality, none of these may come to pass, but the only tangible feeling we are left behind with in the here and now is fear.

It is good to know what we are really afraid of. Is it a situation itself? Or the uncertainty surrounding it?

99.99% of the times, we do not know how to tackle uncertainty. And our lifestyles of today, always wanting more and more, and sooner and sooner, only makes things worse. As my Guru often reminds us, living / thriving in uncertainty alone is spirituality.

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PERMAnently happy

Created by the king of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, the PERMA model is a framework for achieving happiness and well-being. PERMA stands for:

P – Positive Emotions
E – Engagement
R – Relationships
M – Meaning
A – Accomplishments

So, how do these five elements contribute to happiness?

Positive Emotions: This one is pretty straightforward. Feeling happy, joyful, content, and other positive emotions contribute to our overall well-being.

Engagement: When we’re fully absorbed in an activity, we experience a state of flow, which leads to a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

Relationships: Strong social connections and a sense of belonging to a community are essential for our happiness.

Meaning: Finding meaning and purpose in our lives gives us a sense of direction and motivation.

Accomplishments: Setting and achieving goals, no matter how big or small, gives us a sense of accomplishment and boosts our confidence.

In a recent podcast, Prof Seligman however changed up his M for Meaning to M for Matter. Do we matter when we are gone? How to ensure that we matter? By helping others. That’s what to strive for. That will in turn bring the M for Meaning according to him. Pretty cool!

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Building the pipeline

What do we fear? Failure. And death of course. But the latter we have no control over. So let’s stick with failure.

Is there a practical way to reduce the probability of failure?

One way could be to have multiple options. If you need to achieve your targets, then it’s best to have multiple avenues of getting there. A simple horce racing analogy would be, instead of betting on one horse, bet on a few. Yes the gains may not be as large as correctly picking only the winning horse each time, but at least the chances of winning increase materially!

Same for while at work. Having multiple projects helps. If one or two of them do not work out, at least the year end bonus discussions won’t collapse, because one or more of the other projects may have delivered, even if only partially.

The important thing is to keep building a pipeline. And while building it, to dedicate the construction work to the Lord. And once built, if some water flows through the pipe, then go dedicate the water to the Lord as well. This way, we will forever be at peace.

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The quickest fix for depression!

On a recent podcast of the Happiness Lab by Laurie Santos, she quizzed none other than the so-called founder of happiness studies – Prof. Martin Seligman himself.

The question was simple.

“If someone is suffering from depression, then what is an immediate fix?”

Seems impossible at first. Can there really be a fix that works in such a short span of time? Can there be a fix that works at all?

But the professor’s answer came like lightning, and with zero hesitation.

“Just get up and go and help someone in need”

There you have it. The immediate quick fix solution for depression. What do you think?

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Momentary

Our scriptures tell us to live “in the moment”.

But from personal experience, I can say that most of these “in the moments” are fleeting, momentary!

How to make these moments more permanent?

Two words, as per a lovely article I came across. 1) gratefulness and 2) wonder

These are the secrets to living in the moment. Living in gratitude means that we pay attention to everything around us, and wholeheartedly agree on the impeccable design of creation, bringing strong feelings of satisfaction.

Living in wonder on the other hand means a state of heightened awareness, observing the world around us with fresh eyes of curiosity, delight and contemplative attention.

“A sense of wonder is connected to our desire to feel a part of something larger than our everyday reality and we take time to be immersed in this, and yes, to be grateful for this.”

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Lights, camera, action

Have you ever been told that your idea is impossible? Remember the Chinese proverb: “The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.” In other words, don’t let the doubters hold you back from taking action.

In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna says (Chapter 2, Verse 47): “You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work.” So, our focus must be on putting in our best effort without getting hung up on the outcome.

But let’s be real – sometimes, despite our best efforts, things just don’t go as planned. In those moments: Karma Yoga to the rescue! This is the philosophy that teaches us to perform our duties with dedication and detachment, without getting too attached to the outcome.

So, next time someone tells us our idea is impossible, remember the Chinese proverb, channel your inner Karma Yogi, and go for it anyway. And if it doesn’t work out, well… at least we can say we tried!

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Monetary policy

Here’s a simple question.

If you go from having 1$ to $1 million, would you be happy? Ecstatic, I’m guessing.

If you go from having $10 million to $1 million, would you be happy? Devastated, in guessing.

But the end result in both are the same. Still a cool million dollars!

Then why are we letting our minds trick us?

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Kar dashed

A young woman in her early 30s passed away recently.

How so?

Because she was emulating a celebrity. Not emulating just in terms of speaking and mannerisms, but in looks too.

Plastic surgery upon plastic surgery meant all sorts of changes to her physicality.

This all led her to have a huge number of Instagram followers. That’s what the tabloids reported at least. But putting this number of followers into perspective, is less than 0.01% of the world’s population.

Anyway, the most recent surgery she undertook resulted in some unexpected medical complications. And then she was gone, just like that.

This beautiful body and mind that we have been given, what should one do with it? Use it? Or abuse it? And all to please the 0.01%?

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Fantastic 4

As a child, I loved reading Marvel Comics, especially the adventures of the Fantastic 4. But now, as an adult, I have a new set of Fantastic 4 heroes: the four elements of healthy living.

Just like the original Fantastic 4, these four elements have unique powers that can supercharge our health and well-being. And I came across these on a recent amazing podcast. Here’s the new fantastic 4:

What we put into our bodies: Think of this as the power of elasticity, like Mr. Fantastic. We need to stretch and flex our diets by incorporating whole, nutritious foods into our meals. This means avoiding junk and processed foods and opting for natural, nutrient-rich options instead.

What we put on our bodies: This is like the power of invisibility and force fields, like the Invisible Woman. We need to shield our skin from harmful chemicals and pollutants by using natural and organic skincare products.

Sleep more: This is like the power of pyrokinesis, like the Human Torch. We need to rest and recharge our bodies with enough sleep each night. Getting at least 7 hours of sleep each night is essential for our physical and mental health.

Stress less: This is like the power of superhuman strength and durability, like the Thing. We need to learn to endure and manage stress to come out stronger and healthier on the other side. This can be achieved through exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones.

By harnessing the power of these Fantastic 4 elements, we can become our own superheroes and lead healthier, happier lives.

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Happier than who?

When can we truly be happy? When we are content.

When can we truly be content? When we think we are better off than those around us. Not just around us physically, but even within our eyesight, whether in-person or online.

We might be super happy. But that friend on Instagram holidaying in Paris looks way more happier. “If only I could be in Paris…”

Our happiness seems to be inextricably linked to the happiness levels of others around us.

But do we really know if they are happy?

As Montesquieu said, “If you only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are.”

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Success comes from where? – part 2 of 2

Yesterday was one take on success and with a couple of examples. All good.

But my Guru provided the real secret behind success recently in a short note he had penned. Pasted verbatim below:

There is only one thing that will catapult you to the skies, and that is MAKE OTHER PERSON WIN. Not once or twice, but all the time, even in a dream! But this is very difficult - Why?  Because we are immersed in ourselves. NO HABIT of praising others. We want praise only for ourselves. We need to praise others every moment. 

That’s the true secret!

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Success comes from where? – part 1 of 2

In his book “Give and Take,” Adam Grant makes a powerful argument for the impact of generosity in achieving success. According to Grant, our success often hinges on our interactions with others, and those who are willing to be generous and giving are more likely to achieve their goals.

One example that Grant provides is the story of David Hornik, a venture capitalist who goes above and beyond to assist entrepreneurs even when there’s no direct financial gain for him. Hornik’s willingness to help others has resulted in a network of successful entrepreneurs who are happy to work with him again in the future.

Another example is the case of Adam Rifkin, a thriving entrepreneur who spends a significant amount of time mentoring and advising others. Rifkin believes that by helping others succeed, he’s also helping himself succeed. His generosity has rewarded him with a strong network and numerous prosperous business ventures.

These examples demonstrate the power of giving and helping others in achieving success. By being generous and offering help without expecting anything in return, we can cultivate meaningful relationships, gain valuable experience, and ultimately accomplish our goals.

The road to success isn’t always linear the way we often expect it to be. Sometimes, the key to attaining our objectives lies in helping others achieve theirs. We could hence strive to be giving and generous in our interactions with others, and see where it takes us.

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Above and below

Saw this superb video today where legendary Bollywood actor Amitabh Bachchan tells a lovely silly funny profound story in an episode of Kaun Banega Crorepati, or the Who Wants to be a Millionaire Indian adaptation.

So one day, number 9 gets up and slaps number 8. Why? Because number 9 says he’s greater than number 8. Number 8 is furious, but can’t do a thing to number 9. So he gets up and gives one tight slap to number 7 instead. Number 7 is stunned, but cannot do anything. Why? Because number 8 says he’s greater than number 7. So then 7 gets up and slaps 6, 6 slaps 5, 5 slaps 4, 4 slaps 3, 3 slaps 2 and 2 slaps 1. Phew!

1 gets up now, and menacingly walks towards 0. And poor 0 is cowering in fear. But 1 doesn’t slap 0, instead he goes and sits next to 0, and says don’t worry, we are together now, and you might be 0 and I might be 1, but together we are 10, and bigger than everyone else here!

Success doesn’t come from putting people down, but from propping people up. What a super message, isn’t it?

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Failing to succeed

In an NBA post-match press conference recently, star baller Giannis Antetokounmpo was quizzed by a journalist, on failure. The usual, “would you consider this a failure now that you’ve lost this important game?”

The NBA star countered beautifully.

He asks the journalist if he gets promoted every year at work. Of course not!

And so if you do not get promoted at work one year, then are you considered a failure? Is that year considered a failure? Of course not!

It’s just one stepping stone after another on the path to success.

Nay, traversing the path itself is success!

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Rejected and dejected

Rejections happen all the time. Just ask any salesperson! Keeping oneself in silence and peace when faced with negative words is a sign of great wisdom. It’s tempting to seek praise and approval from others, but becoming dependent on it can be detrimental. In fact, relying on the applause of others to feel secure can lead to further insecurity.

It might even be worthwhile to be comfortable with being ignored or forgotten. This allows us the freedom to move about without any expectations from others. Rather than feeling the need for attention, we can remind ourselves of the wisdom of the mystics who know that the divine within us is all we need to feel fulfilled.

Even those who are sensitive to praise and appreciation can learn to be secure within themselves, so that rejection becomes a word that doesn’t exist in their vocabulary. Ultimately, it’s the divine within that will never reject us, and that’s enough to make up for any rejection we may experience from others.

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Giving up As and Ds

We know this all too well by now. Giving up attachments and desires are the keys to spiritual success.

Which comes first? Perhaps desire is borne of attachment. We see an object (or person) and keep thinking of it, and how it might bring us happiness. This repeated mental attachment leads to us desiring the object or person. If someone else succeeds first, then it leads to envy and potentially anger. If we succeed, then it leads to pride and greed (because we want more!).

So is it the fault of the desired object or person? Absolutely not! Even things that aren’t good can ambush the mind. Alcohol doesn’t taste good, cigarette smoke is suffocating and sugary sweets are the causes for all sorts of maladies, and so it’s not as though it’s the great qualities of these items that causes us to get attached. Rather, it is simply our minds tricking us into thinking that these objects offer us lasting happiness.

Couldn’t be further from the truth of course.

So what is the solution? To desire attachment to the Lord. That’s the only desire and attachment that is “allowed”. Why? Because instead of pandering to the mind, it purifies it!

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Vincenzo Casanova!

There’s a very cool Korean Netflix series called Vincenzo. It’s definitely an odd name for K-drama, but when you realize it’s about an Italian-Korean mafia consigliere who returns to Seoul for some work, then it begins to make some sense. It’s super funny, and has a very good feel good factor to it. This isn’t a show review though!

The protagonist at one point realizes that there is too much anger still locked up inside him. He consults a monk for advice, and asks him, “Sir, I’m going to move back to Italy, or maybe even to an island in the middle of nowhere. Do you think my anger will go away?”

To which the monk replies profoundly, “Son, your anger is not on an island, but in your mind. If you can fight your anger, then you can be peaceful anywhere. If you can’t, then no place will help you!”

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I’m the king of the…

Who doesn’t like a little gossip? Or a little back biting. Pretty natural human tendencies these are.

If someone causes something to happen to us, we immediately transform into telltale narrators. “You know what he did to me?”, or “It’s because of her only that I had to do this…”.

But when Lord Rama was exiled by his own father Dasharatha and asked to go to the forest for many years, how did he break the news to his mother?

Not by cribbing about how his old man had lost it in his senility. Instead, he only said this:

Mother, my father has asked me to be the King of the forest, and I seek your blessings.

Can we imbibe such a pristine quality into our own daily lives, despite having nowhere near as miserable misfortunes?

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Forgive and forg…

Is this practical? Isn’t spirituality supposed to be practical? Can we forgive and forget everything? Wouldn’t that tantamount to foolishness?

My Guru has a simple solution. He says we must forgive, but not forget.

Why forgive? So that the incident doesn’t consume us anymore, neither mentally nor emotionally. We’ve made peace with what happened.

Why not to forget? So that the same thing doesn’t repeat! If we gave money to a relative and they never returned it, and we “just forget about it”, we will end up giving more money to the same person and find ourselves in the same cycle again.

Hence forgive, but do not forget. That’s spirituality in practice!

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Best of the best

Everyone wants to be the best. That’s what success is supposed to be, isn’t it?

That’s why it’s amazing when we watch parents revel in the joy of their child’s success. They are not directly responsible, but still are present in every moment of that revelry.

But success according to spirituality isn’t about being the best. It’s simply about trying your best.

The achievement is secondary. What matters is that we tried. And with full enthusiasm and vigor.

If success is redefined this way, and linked only to trying our best, imagine what failure would be redefined as! No more linked to the achievement of a goal, but simply a reference of whether we are doing our best within the given circumstances or not.

Even then, if we work with prasaddha-buddhi (results received as a blessing and gift from a higher power) and ishvara-arpana-buddhi (results surrendered to a higher power), success and failure become one and the same.

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Restive

The English word ‘restless’ always has a profound impact on me. It’s like I begin to feel restless just by reading the word. But it became even worse when I found out that the word ‘restive’, although sounding much more peaceful and rested, also means restless only! What a curious language!

Anyway, I came across a very nice set of lines by Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh on restlessness.

From time to time you may become restless, and the restlessness will not go away. At such times, just sit quietly follow your breathing, smile a half-smile, and shine your awareness on the restlessness. Don't judge it or try to destroy it, because this restlessness is you yourself. It is born, has some period of existence, and dies away quite naturally. Don't try too hard to make it disappear. Just illuminate it. You will see that little by little it will change, merging, becoming connected, with you, the observer: Any psychological state which you subject to this illumination will eventually soften and acquire the same nature as the observing mind.
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Meditating rats

Which God to pray to? What position to meditate in? What shlokas to chant? How many maalas to recite? What time to pray? How many and which all temples to visit? Should one follow a specific spiritual path or explore multiple paths? Can one be spiritual without a traditional concept of God? What happens to consciousness after physical death? Is it better to focus on personal spiritual growth or on serving others? How can one find meaning and purpose in life? Is there a definitive path to enlightenment? What is the role of faith and doubt in spiritual practice? How can one balance material success with spiritual values? Can one transcend the limitations of the physical body and mind? What is the relationship between individual spirituality and organized religion?”

Phew, so many questions, and so few answers.

No wonder then, that a recent comic was so funny, as it read, “I quit the rat race for spiritual well-being and learnt to be content with material wealth.”

Contentment is key ????

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Pride and Pride juice

Everyone knows pride and ego are bad. And yet there’s no dearth of these around us. It’s like everyone’s had a dose of pride juice for breakfast.

Some argue that they’ve “earned it”, “done all the hard work”, so what’s the problem with showing off their wealth and status and attitude?

Well, a few things. For one, pride is addictive. Like kids who are constantly only praised, do not know how to react to tough times in the future. And oh, tough times do come, to everybody!

Pride also clouds judgment. A know-it-all isn’t one who knows everything. He’s just someone who thinks he knows everything. Nobody knows eveything. Even Goddess Saraswati, the Goddess of Knowledge herself is said to know less than 1% of all Creation!

Pride also brings jealousy, and the constant need to look over one’s shoulder, afraid that someone else might do better.

Is there an antidote to pride? Yes indeed. And it’s very simple. All that is required is for us to remind ourselves, that we own nothing. Not the money, not the status, not the relationship, not even our own bodies! We are simply custodians, spending a few decades in this world. We go, the world stays, and not the other way around, like pride might have some believe.

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Scripted

There are 1000s of videos today on just about any subject. Spirituality included.

So much so that it’s become a money making business for many.

There are 1000s of paths and suggestions and methods and variations and even Gurus.

What is right?

And more importantly, what is right for you and me?

Because one size never fits all.

A live Guru is ideal, and if you found one, you are blessed. That’s the best way to be able to implement what is given in our time-tested scriptures. Without implementation, no amount of reading or watching videos helps.

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Kshetra and kshetrajna

In chapter 13 of the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna brings up two terms to define Creation.

He says there’s the Kshetra, the material world. And the Kshetrajna, us.

This seems easy enough. We know this distinction already. The material world around us is insentient, and so indeed that must be Kshetra. And we are alive and kicking, so we must be Kshetrajna. So what’s the big deal here?

The big deal is, that Kshetra includes not just the material world according to Krishna, but also our body and mind! So the physical and mental aspects of ourselves is also part of this relative insentience – even though maya makes us feel otherwise.

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Short span

Was watching a short clip by a physicist known as Brian Cox. He was answering a question about people wanting more.

What did he say?

That we are all formed from dead stars. These disintegrated stars and planetary bodies, somehow came together and created the earth and all the life on it as we know it today.

And all this over billions and billions of years. So much so that it’s just been such a short span of time that we humans have been able to come about and observe such awesomeness. In the future,, we too and everything around us will become those dead stars again.

So we have this amazing short span of a 100 years or so where we each are able to get a peek into Creation itself.

So what more could/should we ever want?!

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So much money

Came across a gentleman recently who owns a 6 bedroom apartment in Manhattan.

Who lives in it? Not him. Because he lives in another country, as an employee, still running the rat race.

So is it empty? No no, his wife lives in it. Away from her husband. And also a 1 hour commute away from her workplace!

And their 3 kids?

All spread out, in different parts of the country.

So much money, they’ve got as much as their generation and the next could ever use.

And yet, there are sacrifices to be made. That’s just a common theme of life. Best to be happy with what we have than be envious of what thy neighbor does!

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Punchnama – part 2 of 2

While it’s easy to say we need to relax and breathe when the punches flow fast and thick, is there something we can keep in mind to make the process easier?

Sure.

One, is to practise getting many punches. Keep putting out our best work, and be shameless in seeking feedback, no matter how bad or good.

Two, is to keep moving. Not to evade the punches, but to grow from them. To use the message for improvement, while ignoring the messenger and their mode of delivery.

Three, is to always remember that our work is what we do, and not who we are. If we take things too personally, that’s a setup waiting for disaster. As Keynes said, in the long run, we’re all dead. So no tension!

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Punchnama – part 1 of 2

How do we take punches? Not literal ones. Just the ones where we get negative feedback.

Even though we’ve done our very best, there are things outside our control. Our intent might have been perfect, but sometimes stuff does hit the fan.

Can we do anything about it now? If the answer is no, then it might be a good idea to just relax and take a chill pill.

If you are someone who is creative and imaginative, then it’s likely you are going to conjure up some wild images of the worst that could happen.

As they say, fear is just imagination taking a wrong turn.

It’s okay to get bad criticism. Or negative reviews. It’s not the end of the world. The world honestly couldn’t care less. If we didn’t care much either, we’d bounce back in no time.

But is this all there is to it? More tomorrow!

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Pay up

Many years ago, I was stuck in a bit of a mess.

I had to literally pay to get myself out of it.

This despite me not having done anything wrong.

“Then why should I be the one paying up?”, I thought, irritably.

My Guru said, “You may not have done anything wrong today, but you either did or didn’t do something in the past which could have prevented you from being in this position in the first place. So take responsibility and pay up. Especially if this payment will get you out of your current predicament, what is there to think about?”

Such sage advice, from a sage no less.

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Success is yours!

Success in life is plenty about “who you know”.

Everyone knows this, and most people hence try to keep knocking on as many doors as possible, hoping someone will suddenly notice them and give them a pot of gold.

Nope, not how the real world works, according to a book on success that I had the chance to flip through at a bookstore.

“Who you know” comes from “who you are” and “what you have to offer”.

“Who we are” is a function of our values and ethics.

“What we have to offer” is a function of the work we do.

If we work on these two aspects, then everything else, success included, will follow.

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Discplinarian

There are many ways to be disciplined.

You can do things every year. Every minute, every hour. Every week, every month.

But none of these are as good as a single day.

The sun rises and sets with a rhythm. It’s observable, and we humans “get it”.

If success is in our crosshairs, all we need to do, is to keep building our body of work, day after day after day, and before you know it, years will have gone by, with all that work having turned to gold.

But is it easy?

As the comedian Russell Brand says, “One day at a time. It sounds so simple. It actually is simple but it isn’t easy: it requires incredible support and fastidious structuring. “

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How to eliminate fear?

If there is one thing that catches us by the throat on a daily or hourly basis, it is fear.

What do we fear? Losing our loved ones. Losing our money. Losing our position and reputation. Failing at something we believe is critical for our future. Inability to deliver on what was promised. Worrying about what superiors might say. Being rejected or abandoned by someone we care about. Fearing for our own safety or the safety of our loved ones. Fear of the unknown or uncertainty about the future. Fear of public speaking or performing in front of others. Fear of being judged or criticized by others. Fear of change or of leaving our comfort zone. Fear of not being good enough or feeling inadequate. So many more as well.

What is the solution for this?

Simple. Deities. There are apparently 330 million deities in Hinduism, probably more, it is unlikely anyone is keeping count.

But if we can learn to place all our problems and worries at the feet of a deity the very instant the worry strikes us, we will realize that we become very peaceful. Why? Because the deity will help us resolve the problem. We are anyway doing our 100%. The deity will add even more. Then what is there to worry about?

That’s how we go from Forget Everything And Run to Face Everything And Rise!

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To a great degree

There are some people who think that education and degrees are everything.

Education and degrees do matter, but context matters more.

If you are stranded in a desert with no water, or stuck in a hostage situation, or some other life threatening emergency, survival often depends on resourcefulness, not on academic credentials.

A great many people remain depressed because their circumstances did not permit them to study enough. Several others are depressed because they studied a lot, but their day jobs do not allow them their freedom of expression.

For many creative pursuits, for entrepreneurship, for forging solid relationships with others, it is empathy and emotional intelligence that is critical. Formal degrees and education may provide some stepping stones, but beyond that, it is all individual passion and grit.

The best work truly comes when done in service (seva) for the sake of a greater purpose and greater good. Those who do not understand this, will keep looking for degrees and credentials.

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Perfection is…

Just for today, just for now, let us forget every problem we have. And simply focus on living in the present. This very moment. Nothing else. End of blog post, and start of bliss!

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Rhyme or reason

Sleep is the foundation of our health,

But fear can steal our peaceful wealth.

Karma says what we do comes back,

Good deeds create the right sleep track.

Meditation, gratitude, and cheer,

These positive habits help us steer.

Toward an optimistic, happy mind,

Where fears and worries are left behind.

So let’s cultivate good karma each day,

And let our fears and anxieties sway.

For with positive habits, thoughts, and rhyme,

We’ll sleep better and feel sublime.

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Tools for success

When it comes to most people and their work, the thought process is that the more sophisticated their tools, the better they would be able to do their jobs.

It’s probably true to some extent. Like some high tech imaging devices would surely help the medical fraternity and/or the astromoer fraternity and so on.

Tools like our mobile phones with Google-ji in it have replaced many many tasks that we previously had to do manually.

But still, there is beauty in watching someone work their art, especially with limited tools. A world class guitarist can produce mesermizing music from his guitar even if one string is broken, but for a newbie guitar player, even the world’s costliest guitar will be of limited value.

A doctor I went to see recently had the smallest practice room, a stethoscope, a torch, and a magnifying glass – that’s it! But the serpentine queue outside his clinic told me a story no different from the world class guitarist.

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Granted for life – part 2 of 2

What else do we take for granted?

Good health, because only when we get sick, do we realize how important it is to have a healthy body.

We may not always be conscious of the peace and security that we enjoy in our daily lives, but when there is a threat of violence or instability, we become acutely aware of their importance.

We have become so reliant on the internet for communication, entertainment, and work that we may not realize how much we depend on it until we lose connectivity.

Time too, because it is a precious commodity that we may not fully appreciate until we run out of it or feel rushed.

Other things include the presence of a Guru and a satsang in our lives. Lucky are we to be having these.

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Granted for life – part 1 of 2

Know what’s common between electricity, clean air, and good health?

We tend to take them for granted until they’re no longer available.

In our daily lives, there are many things that we don’t appreciate until they’re gone.

It’s only when we’re faced with the absence of these things that we realize how important they really are.

We rarely think about the quality of the air we breathe until we encounter smog or pollution.

We often assume that clean water will always be available to us, but many people around the world do not have access to safe drinking water.

Continued tomorrow…

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Evil eye

There’s loads of people in India that believe in the concept of evil eye.

There’s many people in other countries too that believe in it.

Most other people, especially youngsters though ridicule such beliefs, terming them nothing more than superstitions.

Which is true?

It’s hard to say. And it is impossible to change how others perceive us. Even if we work our backsides off for achieving something, others will see only the success, and not the blood-sweat-tears that went into it. This breeds jealousy and hatred and in turn evil eyes.

So what to do? A wise self-realized soul once told me that chanting Hanuman Chalisa is more than enough to thwart and ward off all the evil eyes in the world. What more can one ask for?!

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Deadly

How many will remember us once we are no more?

Maybe a few close ones, and that too for a very short period of time.

Life soon goes on.

People find ways to cope, and over 99% of the people in your life wouldn’t even think about you anymore.

All the stress and anxiety you put yourself through in order to please these same others…. Poof!

It will help to think of all this the next time we stress about something. Who are we really living for?

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Matter of

  • Golden hair turns white.
  • Brown hair turns white.
  • Black hair turns white.
  • Red hair turns white
  • White skin turns wrinkly.
  • Brown skin turns wrinkly.
  • Black skin turns wrinkly.
  • Pale skin turns wrinkly.

It’s all just a matter of time. Physical body doesn’t matter. That’s all that matters.

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Salesy

Sales is super hard, but super important. Every action of ours done in public is nothing but sales in a way. Every word we utter is sales – of ourselves. We are the product.

But even for sales as a profession, it is a great teacher.

In my job, when I need to sell something, I’m selling that something which I did not create. I also do not control it or it’s creator.

In a room with potential buyers, I need to extol the virtues of not just the product, but of its creator too. Imagine if my ego were to get in the way – no chance of closing the sale then. All focus on the product and it’s inventor only. Who thought sales would double up as a good practice ground for spirituality!

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Assumed reality

Here are some questions, both relating to the same fact. Which one is true in your view?

1. “Why is my manager so damn demanding?” versus “Why am I not courageous enough to express myself and my boundaries?”

2. “Why is my peer / colleague not trustworthy?” versus “Why am I not being collaborative enough?”

3. “Why is my friend / family member not driven enough?” versus “Why have I not been able to inspire my friends and family?”

4. “Why do my children not listen to me anymore?” versus “Why am I unable to understand my children’s needs anymore?”

Two sets of questions, with the target (aka blame) of one being external, while the other probes the self!

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Fata poster

There’s a lovely analogy that is common in the satsang I am fortunate to attend.

The analogy is that of a Hindi movie title called “Fata poster nikla hero”.

Imagine a large movie poster being held upright by someone. And another person is torpedoing into the poster headlong. He crashes through the center of the poster and it appears like he has come out of it. Who comes out of posters usually? The hero of the movie of course! And hence, “fata poster nikla hero”.

But that’s the analogy you ask?

Just like the hero in this torn poster is no hero at all, the same way, in our own self-centered narcissistic lives, we too are no heroes. Arjuna thinks he is going to fight the battle of Kurukshetra, initially eager to vanquish the wrong-doers and elicit revenge. But Lord Krishna reminds him that He has already slayed all those who have sinned.

Big lesson for everyone who worries about the results of the future. Don’t worry, the Real Hero has already taken care of everything!

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World’s happiest!

There have been these World’s Happiest Nations rankings that have been doing the rounds for many years. I’ve always wondered what those were about, but never got to the bottom of them.

It did seem odd, that some countries which ranked at the top (ie the happiest), were also those that had high suicide rates and harsh winters with many months of no sunlight.

Some other countries which didn’t seem to be that bad ended up being ranked abysmally.

What gives? Apparently the ranks are decided based on very small sample sizes (like 2000 respondents for a population in the hundreds of millions or more) and also factors that are counterintuitive. Like aspiration. The question asks if you are aspirational – on a scale of 1 to 10 – if your goal is 10, then where are you today? If the answer is 1, then you are deemed unhappy. But as we know from the Gita, aspirations and happiness can indeed go hand in hand!

A nice analysis on these rankings here – a great read!

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Don’t look up…

…because there’s a comet about to obliterate the earth.

One that is 9 kilometers wide, and is easily a mass extinction event.

Nobody will survive.

The calculations are perfect.

Top scientists have accorded a 100% chance of this happening. Yes, you read that right, 100%, not 99, not 99.9, but 100%!

Okay okay, I admit, if this seems like it is taken straight out of a Hollywood movie, then that it because it almost is. The name of the movie is, you guessed it, “Don’t look up”, and it is supremely entertaining.

And you know why? Because it is so realistic! The world is literally about to end, but all anyone cares about are themselves, their properties, their money, their own goals and ambitions, their power and influence, and on and on. Is this only on-screen, or does it remind you of off-screen behavior as well??! ????

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“Love bombing”

Haven’t come across this term until just reading it in the paper now. To “bomb” someone or smother them with so much love that they will completely forget their ill-intent.

Apparently this is being used by a supermarket chain in the UK. They had been seeing a rise in theft and shoplifting from their stores.

How did they combat this? By training their staff to be extra polite, extra helpful and extra caring towards every single customer that walks in.

Apparently it works, and it makes shoplifters think twice before squrrelling things out the store!

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Quit or Grit? – part 2 of 2

While we know we should not quit, it is important to identify where all our efforts need to be put in first.

There are many things we chase after – money, status, promotion, bonus, relationships, properties and what not.

We cannot get eveything. But we can perhaps get what we want if we choose wisely and work with full focus.

This choosing, implicitly involves “quitting” some things. Which is great.

But my Guru says that all of these need to be quit. Not necessarily physically, but mentally. All the attachments to the material world need to be quit. It takes an insane amount of grit to do that. More than the grit required to succeed in any material discipline.

So, from a spiritual point of view, it’s really not a question of Grit versus Quit. It’s always Grit and Quit.

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Quit or grit? – part 1 of 2

This is the question posed to us in a very interesting book called Quit, by Annie Duke.

We’ve been told since forever, that we just shouldn’t give up. Perseverance is the key to success. Quitting is for losers. If you give up, the world has no place for you. And on and on, there’s so many of these messages and quotes and what not – we’ve all been at the receiving end of many of such.

But Annie is one of the best poker players in the world, and she knows a thing or two about quitting. If you’ve played poker, you know that no matter how much luck you have on your side, you can’t keep winning every single game.

She summarizes beautifully:

Success does not lie in sticking to things. It lies in picking the right thing to stick to and quitting the rest.

But where does spirituality fit in to this? Find out here tomorrow!

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Don’t wait for…

Was reading an interview by Satya Nadella, the current CEO of Microsoft.

The question he was asked was whether early in in his career after joining Microsoft, did he think he would make CEO some day?

Mr Nadella’s answer was awesome, because he said he never even once thought about becoming CEO, as he was focused purely on excelling in his current (at the time) work.

Here’s his killer advice in his own words:

Don't wait for your next job to do your best work. 

We can even remove the words “for your next job” from the above sentence, and it would be great advice for anything and everything we do in life!

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Problem Solver

You know who the biggest problem solver is? It’s neither you nor me.

But you know who the biggest problem generator is? It’s both you and me. And also all the other 8 billion folks on our planet.

Every morning when we wake up, we get up with a hundred thousand problems. What to do for this and that, what to eat and drink, what to wear and who to speak to and who to get work done from… and on and on and these are only the easy ones. There’s a million things on how work will unfold and how relationships will progress and how events will play out. Never ending it would seem, our problems.

The funny part is, that what we think we understand of our world, is probably 0.000000000001% of what is truly happening around us.

As my Guru often reminds us, we barely can keep up with our own work. If we entrust everything else to the Lord, then He will take care. He is not the biggest problem solver because he tackles all problems, but because he even prevents them from happening in the first place!

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Parental advisory

Everyone wants advice on good parenting. Because it’s become infinitely harder to raise kids these days.

My cousin who’d visited me recently was explaining how his kids (aged 10 and 5) are just in their own world, no different from their other kid-friends.

The way they talk, what they focus on, the fact that at least the city-breds already have everything they could ever need etc.

Sadhguru’s advice on raising kids is sage.

Firstly he says, don’t “raise” kids, because raising them is like raising cattle. All you’ll get is a flock! We need to instead “cultivate” them, and then step back and watch.

He also says, that raising a child is a 20-year project if done well.

If done badly, it’s a lifelong project!

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Beauty is only…

We all know that old adage about how beauty is only skin deep. I had a first hand experience recently.

After the surgery performed on a family relative, the hospital handed over a DVD to me, saying it contained the video of the operation. This was a first, for me at least. After hunting for a way to load up a DVD (who uses these anymore!?), I thought to see what it is that was recorded.

“Guts and glory”, they say. Guts there was, glory maybe only for the doc who succeeded in his work. And for the person being operated upon of course, that they made it out safe and sound. But the innards of a human being… that stuff does not look pretty!

The Creator in his infinite mercy has made our outsides look so cool compared to the slushy mushy almost yucky insides. But the outside, is far too temporary. White hair, bald spots, reduced energy, wrinkles, crows feet, saggy skin, warts and all – these escape no one, not royalty, not celebrities, not the most beautiful and handsome people in the world. And yet, we run after exactly these things. We must ask ourselves why.

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Emotional take

Why do we get angry? Or sad? Or jealous?

These are all emotions of the mind, as we know them. And we think our minds are making us emotional.

But if we stop to think why this happens, we’ll realize it is largely because of a conflict that occurs between our hearts and our minds.

When you have to leave for an important meeting and your lunchbox packing has got delayed, it instantly results in an expression of anger. But the emotion comes not because we are angry by nature, but because a situation has presented itself whereby our reaction is one where temper levels have shot up. The heart is chilled out most of the time, but given that the mind has seen a potentially troublesome scenario, it has dragged the heart into behaving angrily.

Most important is the need to stop reacting. Reacting clouds the intellect and kills any discriminative ability. According to Swami Niranjananda of the Bihar School of Yoga, we must substitute reaction with involvement. Remain involved, be in a flow state, experience the unpleasantness of what is happening, but do not react. Won’t happen in a day, but worth working towards, for me at least!

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Who are you?

Much of spirituality is about answering the question “Who am I?”

The Self, the Atman, the Soul, the Brahman, the Superconsciousness etc.

I got a whatsapp message last evening from my MD & CEO. The message asked me to do a task for him, urgently, because he could not speak at the time as he was on another call.

“Sure, of course”, I thought, and replied as such.

The next message asked me to buy 5000 gift cards and send it to his email.

Clearly I was in the early stages of getting scammed. Realized it in time luckily, phew. This wasn’t about “who am I” anymore, but “who are you”.

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Herded

Why did we join the school we did?

Why did we join the college we did?

Why did we choose the subjects and majors we did?

Why did we choose the life partner we did?

Why did we choose the job we are in?

Why did we choose to have children?

All these Why’s are not to ask whether we chose right or wrong. There is no right or wrong. But the question is to know whether we thought about these things at all. Much of our lives are based on herd instinct. We do things because everyone else does them.

Surprisingly, in the only thing that truly matters in life, aka self-realization, the herd instinct doesn’t work, because there is no herd.

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Tech-capable part 2 of 2

Transporting a computer to India in the 1960s was no easy feat. Apart from using a bullock cart, and also breaking a wall, the team had to get the machine through road blocks that collected customs taxes for road maintenance, for which the money had to come through additional AID grants.

The computer room wasn’t finished, and monsoon season had left an inch of water on the floor where the computer was to go. To add to the difficulties, the power in India ran at 50 cycles, while the computer needed 60 cycles.

Through numerous telegrams between IBM and Kanpur, they were eventually able to convert the power and adjust the voltage, and after three long weeks, the machine was up and running.

We today have the power of 1000s of those super computers, just in the palm of our hands. According to Barclays’ analysts, if human productivity was 100 units in 1765 (when the steam engine was invented), it increased to 1500 in the 1960s, and has doubled to over 3000 in just 5 decades thereafter. We are so productive but has that led to increase happiness as well? We should each introspect, and make peace with whatever we already have.

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Tech-capable part 1 of 2

What are we without tech today? I couldn’t even be writing this blog. The word blog itself wouldn’t exist.

How far have we come? Ridiculously far, by all accounts.

Even a country like India – today known as an IT superpower – just a few decades ago was nowhere on the tech-map.

Even the premier Indian institutes of today, like the IITs, did not have computers. The story of IIT Kanpur getting it’s first (super)computer is thought provoking.

It was back in the 60s, or August 1963 to be precise. Transporting the IBM 1620 computer to IIT Kanpur was no easy feat. At that time, the bad roads of Kanpur made it difficult to transport such heavy and fragile electronic equipment. The team was worried that the vibrations from the truck could damage the electronic circuits, so they decided to transport it by bullock carts with inflated tires!

But the difficulties didn’t end there. When the computer arrived at the IIT Kanpur computer center, they found that the door was too small to take it in. The team had to break down a wall to install the computer!

Concluded tomorrow!

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Lucky stuff

At times, I need to travel for work.

Different countries, different clients, different flights.

Some people say,” Wow, so lucky, you get to travel so much.”

“Country A, Country B, Country C…so much fun!”

My travels are never like that.

Only “Airport A to Hotel A; Airport B to Hotel B, Airport C to Hotel C, and multiple client meetings, and back to the respective airport for a rinse and refresh”. And no friends or family.

Who’s definition of fun is that? 🙂

Everyone has some good stuff, and some bad stuff, and we each need to make peace with our stuff, without worrying about others’ stuff!

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So intuitive – part 2 of 2

In Vedic/Hindu spirituality, intuition is known as the directly perceiving faculty of the soul, and it is a powerful tool that allows us to know the truth about everything without relying on sensory experience or reason.

According to Paramhansa Yogananda, the highest form of intuition – true intuition – is developed through regular meditation and practice. Here’s some guidelines for how to do this:

Meditating regularly every morning and before going to bed at night. Sitting quietly and feeling a calm peace.

After meditating, sitting still for a long time, enjoying inner peace.

Meditating until the breath becomes calm. Then concentrating simultaneously at the point between the eyebrows and the heart, and asking God to direct our intuition so that we know what to do.

It is said, that when our intuition is fully developed, we will stand firm in our knowledge and convictions, no matter what challenges may arise. By developing our intuition through meditation, we can come closer to the divine and experience a deeper connection to the world around us.

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So intuitive – part 1 of 2

Have you ever had a feeling about something that turned out to be true, even though you couldn’t explain why? That’s your intuition speaking! In Vedic/Hindu spirituality, intuition is known as the directly perceiving faculty of the soul, and it is a powerful tool that allows us to know the truth about everything without relying on sensory experience or reason.

According to Paramhansa Yogananda, there are three stages of intuition awakening:

Crude intuition: This is the initial stage of intuition awakening. It often appears as a calm, haunting feeling that occasionally turns out to be true. However, this type of intuition can be clouded by distorted reasoning and emotional feelings.

Semi-developed intuition: This type of intuition comes from frequent exercise and using pure reason and calm feeling. It is important because it allows us to distinguish true intuition from false impulses, leading to better decision-making.

True intuition: This is the highest form of intuition, which comes from the soul. It is developed through regular meditation and practice. When our intuition is fully developed, we will stand firm in our knowledge and convictions, no matter what challenges may arise.

That’s the definition anyway. No personal experience to opine on, but concluded tomorrow!

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Doing the right thing

Everyone wants to do the right thing. But nobody knows what’s right. Because everyone’s definition of right is different. At least in life.

But what if ‘right’ is pre-defined. Would it help in doing the right thing? It should, in theory, right (pun unintended)?

Let’s take investing as an example. How does one make money from investing? Simple, buy low, sell high. Couldn’t be an easier formula.

But then why isn’t everyone around us rich?

Because while the formula is ‘right’, we aren’t. When the price is 10, isn’t that nice and low? It’s low, but what if it goes to 9 or 8 tomorrow? Or 5? Wow, wouldn’t I like to invest 50% cheaper? And so the buy never happens. Similar story for the “sell high”, as our minds conjure up utopian futures that seem all too obvious to get.

So, is it easy to do the right thing, even if it’s pre-defined?

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Auspiciousness

There are auspicious times for everything in Hinduism.

Every God or Deity has a specific time or day of the week to get the best results.

There are auspicious foods as well. Modak for Ganesha for instance.

Specific clothes. Like black for Shani.

Specific food fasts to appease specific Gods.

It might appear that this is all for these Gods. Because God likes it this way, and this way only.

But this couldn’t be further from the truth. God doesn’t care about when and where we offer something to Him. He only cares about whether we are connected to Him, preferably always. By extension, all times then automatically become auspicious.

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Multi trillionaires

As of today, there’s no world’s rich person’s list that has a trillionaire in it. But revisit this blog post in a few decades, and surely someone will feature.

For me personally? I think a milion dollars is more than enough.

But those with a million? They want a few million.

Those who are multi millionaires? They want a billion.

The billionaires? They want to be multi-billionaires.

And the multi-billionaires? They want to get into the world’s richest list.

And those on this list already? They want to get to the top of the list.

And those on top of the list? They want to ensure they remain there on top.

How much money you reckon is enough?

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All good

When things don’t go well, we want and expect it to get over asap.

But when everything is going great guns in life, we feel we are entitled to our success, and in denial of its temporary nature.

If something goes badly, we may say it’s not our fault.

But would we attribute our success also to something outside our control?

If the source of failure can be outsourced, then why not the same treatment for success?

Both success and failure are nothing but meaningless labels in the cyclicality that is life.

The only thing we control is our own reaction to these external eventualities. If we choose to give up control of that also, then only peace remains.

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100% successful

Yes, you know who that is? Who’s 100% successful?

Why, it’s you of course!

If you’re reading this, it means that you have succeeded against all odds, all failures, all problems, and have still made it to today.

You are 100% successful at not having been defeated by your worst days.

Isn’t that such an optimistic thought?

What can you not achieve in the future, with such an untouchable inimitable success rate behind you?

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Slow coach

It’s absolutely irritating when you want to get to some place quickly, but there’s a guy on the road driving incredibly slowly in front. The pace of traffic on the sides is such that you don’t get even a chance to swerve onto another lane and zoom past the slowpoke.

While I’d wonder why people would go so slow ever, I got a taste of my own medicine recently, and boy was it an eye opener!

A relative had just had a surgery done, and it was my duty to drive said person back from the hospital to the home. Roads where I live are bad, to put it mildly, and so I was asked to drive not more than 20 kilometers per hour at best.

Any rough bumps meant my relative who had just got a number of stitches post-surgery would feel insufferable pain. It was my turn to be the slow coach on the road, as angry drivers-by honked their anger to me, no matter whether my hazard light was on or not. Oh what a lovely lesson in empathy it was for me!

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Tech seers

Technology is just wonderful. It’s made us solve problems that we previously couldn’t even fathom overcoming.

So tech is cool this way.

But some tech is also scary. It’s making us closer and closer to goldfish. No, not the color of the iPhone case, but our attention span.

Apparently our attention span is now lesser than that of a goldfish, some 8 seconds or less. If you’ve read this far, then congratulations, you do not belong in an aquarium!

But as if phones aren’t distracting enough, people now look to their smartwatches first! Mid-conversation yesterday, a friend looked at his watch, realized he got a message, so then took out his phone to read it in full.

It’s not like I was hurt, because he didn’t interrupt me while I was speaking… He interrupted himself because he was the one who was talking in the first place!

Apparently Google Glass was going to be a cool thing, where’d you’d get all notifications and inputs in your glasses itself. And then they decided to shelve the project. Good they did that perhaps. We may then go from attention span of a goldfish, to what? An amoeba?

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Clarity of thought

Does the ability to think clearly come with more knowledge and learning?

It might certainly seem logical. The more we know, the better information we will have for making decisions.

But apparently it’s not so easy. Learning and knowledge often brings ego, which can act as a barrier to clear thinking.

What is important is objectivity. The example of a baby in the arms of an old wrinkly skinned man is a case in point. The baby snuggles with the man no matter the color or quality of his skin, or his age, or his smell or anything else for that matter. All it cares about, is the love the man showers onto the baby, and the baby simply reciprocates. Zero prejudice.

Our past experiences and prejudices often color our thinking. So instead of responding to the reality of a situation, we end up responding to the prejudices and preconceptions instead.

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What’s bad is good for…

…none other than beloved Lord Shiva.

Shiva, as mentioned by Sadhguru of Isha Foundation in many of his talks, means “that which is not”.

We are always running after “that which is”…money, fame, relationships… But Shiva doesn’t need any of these.

He happily accepts the ashes from burnt dead bodies. How many of us can?

Everybody loves the full moon in all its beauty, but Shiva has the crooked crescent on his matted hair.

Few like slimy, creepy, crawly snakes, but Shiva adores them. Swami Chinmayananda once likened the snake to the ego – it is full of poison, from it emerges hatred, jealousy, fear and anxiety. It is always frightened and ever ready to attack. But Lord Shiva? Oh, he’s tamed the ego, and wrapped it around his neck!

And if he opens his third eye, all ego is decimated.

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Guru’s grace

There are millions of people who are God fearing.

Many many more who are God loving.

So many of them are immersed in singing His glories.

Whether through bhajans or temple visits.

Ananya bhakti is supreme, without a doubt.

But my Guru says that having true Knowledge from the scriptures is paramount.

Otherwise we will simply be looking to God to fulfil more and more of our desires within this Maya clad world.

There will be no opportunity to break out of it. Hence scriptures, satsang and Guru, are irreplaceable and mandatory.

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Believe the height? Or hype?

What do you think the ideal height of a basketballer should be? What about the height of a pro basketballer? And what of one who plays for the world famous all star Harlem Globetrotters? 7 feet? Or 6 and a half feet? Or at least 6 feet right?

Maybe you’ve never heard of Mani Love then. His height? Wait for it…

4 feet, 5 inches.

Think I’m kidding? Please watch a few YouTube videos of his. Like maybe this one.

It’s insane what he can do. Some of his moves, no 7-footer can ever pull off.

But if we were limited to 4 feet 5, would we have the belief in ourselves to achieve what he has?

What other self-imposed limitations are impeding us today?

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Calm waters

Ever seen some of those insane NatGeo or similar deep-ocean documentaries? The dark blue waters and the total silence… it’s almost eerie.

But there’s actually a crazy amount of action going on there. So many fish and amphibians and crustaceans and other creatures are alive and buzzing.

And then imagine the torrential amounts of water that flows into the ocean, every day, every hour, every minute, every second. From rivers, from melting ice, from rain, and other sources too perhaps.

But through all this commotion, the deep ocean is always calm and placid. Exactly like how we would be, once we’ve attained that Blissful State. Once the Brahman has been experienced, none of the piddly matters of today will ever affect that deep calm ocean.

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Happy painting

If you had to draw happiness, what would it look like?

A lot of money? Happy people everywhere? An island paradise with clear blue waters? Lounging by the beach? No more office or work, ever?

This is what it looks like according to an interesting forward I got from WA University (yes, you know which one!). Apparently this was drawn by Turkish artist Abidin Dino. He drew a picture of a whole family. All cramped up on a broken bed, under a leaky roof in a shabby room. Still with a smile on each member’s face!

I can’t see any money or tropical beaches here. Well worth pondering over, for me.

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Sapiens

Much fanfare has been made and much more has been written about Yuval Harari’s book called Sapiens. This post isn’t about that book at all. I wish it could be, but I haven’t read it.

This post is simply about the word itself. Sapiens.

I’ve always read “homo-sapiens” in so many places and never thought about it much. What does it mean? Oh it means human beings. That’s what we learned in school, and that’s what I remember. End of story.

Until I accidentally highlighted the word on my Kindle last night. The Kindle has a nifty feature where a highlighted word is immediately and automatically defined using the in-built dictionary.

And it threw up the meaning of the word sapien. “Wise”, it said. Wow. Wise. We have named ourselves wise. We are wise, at times. But mostly we are angry, cranky, greedy, jealous, scared, anxious… the list is endless.

We should live up to our biological name better.

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Wealth transfer

Family office advisors and wealth managers around the world are seeing an incredible boom in their businesses. Why? Because more and more rich and well to do families are setting up their inheritance and wealth transfer processes.

They want the transfer to be as smooth as possible, and rightly so. It is estimated that the boomer generation is currently transferring $68 trillion dollars of wealth to their spouses and children. What an incredibly large number. Insane almost.

But you know what happens when people who haven’t worked hard to earn money end up with ridiculously large sums of inheritance money? Surely you do.

Here’s a nice quote I came across:

“Parents are good at preparing the money for the person, they are often less good at preparing the person for the money.”

Jess McGawley
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It’s a holi-holi-day!

Came across a super WhatsApp forward today – on Holi-day. The Indian festival of colors, and where a huge bonfire is lit.

Step out of home in the morning for a walk, and there’s a zero chance that you can come back without having some color splashed on your face, or clothes!

But what is all this color and the fire for?

The color put on one another helps us forget our differences. Once colored, everyone is the same.

The fire or bonfire, isn’t to burn material things, but rather to burn our ego and feelings of I, me, mine.

So profound, isn’t it?

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Scieligion

Arguably the greatest and most famous scientist of all time is Albert Einstein. Many of the pseudo-intellectuals of today would look at him in awe and conclude that science trumps spirituality and that logic and intellect reign supreme.

But here are some words by Einstein himself, from his essay titled “What I believe”:

"To know that what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms - this knowledge, this feeling, is at the centre of true religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only I belong in the ranks of devoutly religious men."

Clearly, the man behind e=mc2 was onto something…

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VIP

Everyone wants something. The world indeed does run on incentives only. In the very funny and niche TV series called Clarkson’s Farm, Jeremy Clarkson, the famous ex-host of Top Gear runs into some trouble with the local villagers.

As an aside, when they said “villagers” on the show, I thought of villages like those in India. But boy were those villages in the UK so modern and citylike. No skyscrapers, but everything looked so nice! Anyway, back to the point. Jeremy ran into trouble because the villagers didn’t like the fact that him farming and selling his produce and recording all this into a TV show was bringing too much traffic and noise to the otherwise quiet village.

So he decides to setup a meeting with the village community. Everyone brings up some issue or the other. Jeremy patiently replies to each one, saying he will try his best. But the clincher? Someone asked for a VIP pass to his farm-to-fork restaurant, and a special discount for the villagers. Everyone chimed in. And when Jeremy said “yes of course”, everything was sorted out instantly – meeting over! It’s all about “what’s in it for me?” ????

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Raising the bat

Raising the bat is common in cricket, when the batsman scores a 100 runs. A century.

The batters raise their bats if they score 200 or 300 as well, or even more.

But there was one occasion where a batter raised his bat after scoring just 1 run.

Yes, your read that right, one, not one hundred.

Why?

Because in his prior 6 innings, he had got out for a duck, i.e. a grand score of zero.

It would have been a problem only if this guy didn’t come out to bat the 7th time around. But he did. And he celebrated that 1 run with aplomb!

A great lesson for me in persistence, and in self-deprecating humor. ????

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Wanters

Most of us, maybe all of us, are perennial wanters.

Who is a wanter? Someone who wants, of course!

I don’t think a word like ‘wanter’ even exists in the dictionary, but that’s who we are!

We want more money, more pleasure, more vacations, more fame, more cars and houses, more travel, and so much more of this and that. Everything material, we want.

Lord Krishna in the Gita says though that there is only one thing worth wanting. And that is Self Realization. How many of us pray for this in our daily prayer wantlist?

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Freuden Schaden – part 2 of 2

While schadenfreude we (now) know, it also has a happier cousin, called freudenfreud. What is this?

Enjoying someone else’s success or happiness is what is referred to as “freudenfreude” by social scientists. This term, derived from the German word for joy, refers to the happiness we experience when someone else achieves something, even if it has no direct impact on us. According to psychologists, freudenfreude acts like a social bonding agent, making relationships more enjoyable and intimate.

Some call this positive empathy, ie. the ability to feel and experience someone else’s positive emotions.

Studies have shown that experiencing freudenfreude can foster strong relationships and increase our sense of belonging. For example, researchers at the University of California, Berkeley found that people who experienced freudenfreude in response to their friends’ successes reported higher levels of life satisfaction and more meaningful relationships.

This is all no different from what the Gita or my Guru says. Just live for others, and dedicate our lives to helping those around us.

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Freuden Schaden – part 1 of 2

Most people would have studied about Schadenfreude in school. The term refers to the happiness that people feel at the pain of someone else. One may think that it is a bad word, and that it has nothing to do with themselves. But the reality is, that every single action of ours in our lives involves schadenfreude in some form or manner. Really?

Like if we get a promotion at work. This comes at the expense of someone else’s promotion that same cycle, because it is not possible for the entire organization to get promoted at the same time. If we’ve got the promotion, we are happy, at someone else’s expense. Or even in simple things like taking a walk. How many insects have got crushed under our feet, just so we can enjoy the fresh air? Or when we let the tap run, how many others are deprived of water? The list can go on and on, but living thinking like this can be very defeatist and fatalistic. What to do then?

Concluded tomorrow…

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Work leader vs life leader

People often suggest that one must keep their ‘work’ lives separate from their ‘life’ lives. Yes you can perhaps keep the work itself separate. Don’t do your office work at home, or don’t take your office calls from home, etc. But mentally, is it possible to separate this work and life this way? Not easy.

For example, if you are someone that is cool, calm and composed at home, it’s unlikely you’ll fly off the handle at work. And vice versa too. While we might be put in different situations (work vs home), we are the same people that are going through the various different scenarios. If I get angry easily, then it’s likely to come through irrespective of the surrounding.

Apparently (and hence), leadership is no different. Leadership requires self-awareness. To be a successful leader, it’s important to understand and work on one’s own personality traits. Personal mastery is the key to becoming a great leader

The focus of the leader is hence first not on his team or followers, but on him/herself.

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Classification of men

Came across an interesting classification of men as per Tantra Sadhana.

1. Pashu – which means animal. Man as an animal. No brains, not evolved, just doing some random stuff. Zero interest in spirituality. Purely materialistic life.

2. Vir – which means brave. This is the type of person that does tantra Sadhana. Such a person is not brave or heroic because he is doing tantra Sadhana, but because he is valiantly fighting his own bad tendencies (anger lust, greed, jealousy etc).

3. Divya – which means divine being. Once one has achieved this state, there are no more rules (unlike the prior stage), because divinity has already been attained.

Thought provoking, no?

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Avec plaisir

This is the French way of saying “with pleasure”.

“Will you be able to help me with this please?”

“Oh mais oui, avec plaisir!”

That’s all the French I know, but the word plaisir triggered a thought about what the great Swami Chinmayananda once said in response to a question.

A devotee asked him why he was unable to be happy.

Pat came Swami C’s reply, “Because you think you are happy, and looking for happiness, but actually all you are looking for is pleasure.”

Pleasure comes from ephemeral things. Happiness or the true state of Ananda is a permanent state, and cannot be linked to material temporary objects.

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Tragicomedy

How can a comedy be a tragedy? We just need to look at our own lives and the lives of others around us. Everything we experience is a karmic cycle, or maybe even a karmic circus.

We hear or see something terrible. Somebody lost their child to an unfortunate accident, or their own limbs, or lost all their money, or their reputation. All sorts of unbelievable unimaginable things are happening around us. This is the tragedy.

Every Guru and Saint and realized master and spiritual expert realizes that everything is action = reaction. Nothing is without consequence. Today’s eaten becomes tomorrow’s eater, who then becomes day after’s eaten and so on.

Today’s alarming tragedy hence when seen from a detached vantage point, is some play of karma only. We see disasters all around us, and yet we behave like we are immune, constantly taking, taking and taking more.

When and how will be restore the karmic balance this way? What if our karmic store of goodness, runs out? We act without realizing that there is no perfect-er accountant and re-balancer that Creation. This is the tragicomedy.

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GitaGPT

Only someone living under the proverbial rock would not know about ChatGPT now. This AI tool has taken the world by storm, providing instant answers to insane questions in the blink of an eye.

Sure enough, there’s now not one but at least 5 (and more are coming surely!) GitaGPTs as well. It’s almost like we are Arjuna and we are seeking advice from Lord Krishna himself. You can Google for GitaGPT and give it a try.

Here’s a question I asked. “Dear Krishna, How can I write about this GitaGPT tool on my blog on spirituality?”

Here’s the answer from KrishnAI: “Oh Arjuna, If your blog is about spirituality, you can use the GPT tool to help your readers understand the Bhagavad Gita. You can use the tool to explain the concepts of karma, dharma, and reincarnation. You can also use the tool to discuss the importance of yoga and meditation.”

Another one, “Hi Krishna, How can I be happy at work?” Pat came the answer: “Oh Arjuna, the secret to happiness at work is to find delight in your tasks, no matter how mundane they may be. Work becomes worship when it is done with love and attention. The Bhagavad Gita teaches that we should see the Divine in all things, including our work. When we view our work as an offering to the Divine, we can find happiness and satisfaction even in the most menial of tasks.”

How cool is that!

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What comes out of…

Came across this cool clip of Mahatira ji, where he speaks of some superb advice his father-in-law gave him. It relates to what comes out of us human beings.

Everything that comes out of a human, stinks.
Our breath, it stinks.
Our sweat, it stinks.
Our excrement, it stinks.
Our saliva, it stinks.
Our blood, it stinks.
But we can't control any of these.
There's one other thing that does come out of humans which we can control. Our words. 
And most of the time, our words stink too. 

True isn’t it? Is that what we want? Can’t we speak such that we energize others, empower others, encourage others and empathize with others?

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pow3r

Was reading an interesting article today. Apparently there are 3 ways in which power can influence us.

  1. “Power within”: refers to a person’s sense of self-worth and self-knowledge, allowing them to recognize their strength and believe they can make a difference.
  2. “Power to”: refers to the productive and generative potential of power, or the new possibilities and actions that can be created, without any relationship of domination.
  3. “Power over”: is built on force, coercion, domination and control, and motivates largely through fear. This type of power is held by individuals and is finite.

There’s actually also a 4th type of power. I didn’t mention it before, because then I’d have to change the title to pow4r 🙂

This 4th power is called “power with”. “Power with”: is shared power that grows out of collaboration and relationships, built on respect, mutual support, solidarity, and influence. This type of power helps build bridges with groups and across differences. It is this 4th power that is truly powerful.

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Leadership Secrets – part 5

Concluding post today, of a series revealing very important secrets!

The first thought that usually comes to mind when one talks of a leader, at least in a business context, is the role of CEO. What is a CEO’s job really? The E in CEO is a bit of a giveaway. But does the CEO him/herself execute? Hardly.

Guy Raz interviewed a guy named Mark King – who once ran TaylorMade golf, was the North America CEO of Adidas, and then ran Taco Bell. What did Mr. King have to say about his own role as CEO? Something simple, yet profound. “My job as the CEO is not to have the answers; my talent is to find the people who have the answers.”

How to do this in a workplace setting? What happens in companies with great leaders? Here’s what Guy says.

Successful companies are those that create a collaborative environment where new ideas are valued and encouraged. To foster collaboration, it’s important to enable people to throw out radical ideas, even if they may not be actionable. However, in team meetings, often only 5-10% of people dominate the conversation due to fear of judgment for their ideas. To encourage more participation, it’s important to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing their worst or silly ideas, as this can spark new conversations and lead to innovative solutions.

Time to practise and implement the leadership secrets wherever and whenever we can!

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Leadership Secrets – part 4

Back to leadership today after a short Mahashivratri interlude! We all know there is no shortcut to success. And that it is hardwork that leads to success. Yes yes, true true. But there is a shortcut! Know what that is?

It is simply the ability to learn from mistakes. Not just our own, but also the mistakes of others. This is the true tried and tested shortcut to success. Incredibly, this works in spirituality as well! The Guru has gone through the exact process, and doesn’t want us to make the mistakes He was once aware of.

How does making and learning from mistakes link to leadership? Well, the third secret of leadership success is being open and willing to fail. Why? Because failure not only brings out the best in us, but it also teaches us the most important lessons in the path we are pursuing.

A nice example is that of a toy company called Spin Master. It’s first product was “Earth Buddy”, a minor hit. But the founder Ronnen Harary didn’t want to stop there. He realized that kids can be fickle consumers, and their toys may only be popular for a short period of time. In order to build a multi-generational brand, Ronnen gathered insights from experts in various fields, including video, animation, and apparel. He specifically learned from the mistakes of everyone in the field. This led to the creation of “Paw Patrol”, a brand based on anthropomorphic puppies as emergency rescue workers. Since its introduction in 2014, “Paw Patrol” has generated $10 billion in global revenue and become one of the most successful multi-generational children’s brands in the past two decades, with a presence in over 40 languages!

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Mahashivratri!

Every year this date goes by, with several devotees making pilgrimages to Lord Shiva’s temples.

A part of the critical God trinity of Brahma-Vishnu-Mahesh, or Creator-Sustainer-Destroyer, a foreign view point is always “Oh why do you need a destroyer?”

Stories from our scriptures speak of destruction of various worlds, and pralaya, and of all creation and what not. And all that is great.

But what is it that truly needs destruction? Our ego of course! And that is where Lord Shiva excels par none. He opened his 3rd eye and destroyed Kamadeva, the God of lust aka desires. How incredible is that!

That is why The Destroyer is so important. Let us pray to Him on this wonderful Mahashivratri day, so that we reduce our desires or at least keep them in check, and make huge progress on the path of spirituality. Om namah shivayah 🙏😊

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Leadership Secrets – part 3

Collaboration was secret #1 of leadership. What was secret #2? Encouraging risk-taking.

Is risk-taking useful? Yes, massively so. This is precisely where innovation comes from. If we just sit and do the same thing over and over, it will likely not lead to anything new or radical. But risk-taking needs to be calculated, not random, not just for the heck of it.

A super story is that of James Dyson, a born entrepreneur, and also a huge risk taker.

He once created a product called the Ballbarrow, a wheelbarrow with a low center of gravity, like a giant yoga ball in front of a wheelbarrow, making it easier to work in gardens and construction sites. Unfortunately, the product didn’t sell and he was ousted from the company he founded.

However, James’ failed invention led to his greatest success story. While working on the Ballbarrow, he noticed the powerful suction of the turbine fans used to clean up the paint factory and he wondered why home vacuum cleaners couldn’t be that effective. This sparked his curiosity and he set out to create a vacuum cleaner without a bag, which was the root cause of lost suction in traditional vacuums. It took him 7 years and 5000 prototypes, but eventually, he created the game-changing Dyson vacuum cleaner. After launching the product at a mid-size retailer in Britain, it quickly gained popularity through word of mouth.

Today, James Dyson is one of the richest people in Britain and the success of his company is a result of its willingness to take risks and constantly push boundaries. Continued tomorrow…

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Leadership Secrets – part 2

Continuing from yesterday, what does collaboration really mean? Everyone wants everyone else to be collaborative around them, and they certainly feel they each are the pinnacles of collaboration. Is that true though?

Within many firms, it’s all about the money. And there is often only so much of a pot to share, capitalists, as most of us are. Collaborating could mean someone else taking the credit and the pot. But Guy argues that collaboration even in large companies and in cutthroat verticals can have positive effects, i.e. synergies such that the sum is greater than the parts. He gives the example of P&G – the global consumer company. Founded pre-Civil War (1837!), they have 60+ brands of which at least 20 are worth over a billion dollars.

In the 1990s, Crest – P&G’s toothpaste brand – was struggling to compete with Colgate in the toothpaste market. Crest researcher, Paul Sagel, saw an opportunity to create a teeth whitening product that people could use at home. He came up with a solution, but couldn’t figure out how to apply it to teeth. During a lunch with colleague Bob Dirksing, who was working on a plastic product for Procter & Gamble, Bob suggested using plastic wrap. They tested the prototype and took it to the CMO, who greenlit the product. In just 6 months, Crest Whitestrips hit the shelves and made $300 million in revenue in its first year.

Crest Whitestrips is proof that collaboration can bring success. Paul and Bob’s combined expertise created an incredibly successful product, showcasing the value of a collaborative culture in organizations. When collaboration is encouraged, great things happen. Continued tomorrow…

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Leadership Secrets – part 1

Everyone knows leadership is a crucial skill. Probably the most crucial one in a work setting. And everyone wants to be a leader, or at least be seen as one.

But what does it take to be a leader? Are there any identifiable and repeatable traits?

On a very cool new podcast by Harvard Business Review, the featured a guest named Guy Raz. Guy is the host and co-creator of his own podcasts “How I Built This” and “Wisdom from the Top,” where he regularly speaks (700 interviews!) with the who’s who of the business world (aka leaders). Here are the 3 most important things for leadership, in his own words:

"The first is, they all create a culture of collaboration, all of these leaders. Full stop. The second thing they do is they encourage risk-taking, and then the opposite side of that coin, which is the third thing they do, which is they allow for failure."

More insights tomorrow!

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Alcoholics Actionymous

Everyone knows AA is where alcohol over-indulgers go for rehab. But is joining the program the end of all troubles? I don’t have any experience in this domain, and can’t say for sure – but I doubt it would be any different from most other programs or lessons or coaching or tutorials for anything. There is perhaps some stuff handed on a platter, but there would be no substitute for self-effort.

Why the sudden talk of AA? A podcast I was listening to recently had the guest mention a quote by Bill Wilson, the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. Apparently Bill once said “You can’t think your way into right action, but you can act your way into right thinking”.

This seems very simple and intuitive, but it is quite profound. In today’s world, there is an alarmingly high number of armchair scientists, theorists, psychologists, doctors, therapists, and all sorts of other pseudo-professionals. Armed with degrees from FB-college and WA-university, no domain is out of reach.

Is ‘thinking’ important? Of course, without proper thought and planning, one cannot succeed. But action (aka karma yoga) is essential. Especially on the spiritual path, thinking too much can only get in our way. But, by taking small steps towards positive actions, such as being kind to others, practicing gratitude and mindfulness, we’ll find that our thoughts and desires start to align with our actions, leading to a more fulfilling life. And eventually we may just discover our deepest desire – to attain enlightenment – even if we do not consciously desire or realize it!

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Pascal’s wager

This is a cool concept I came across recently. Blaise Pascal, the French philosopher, posed this dilemma.

His wager was that God does in fact exist. Why?

He obviously understood that it is difficult to know for sure if He does or does not exist. Not in the conventional shape and form at least.

Pascal’s thought process was, that if God does indeed exist, then believing in Him, means one would earn His grace.

If God does not actually exist, then such a believer has nothing to lose by being a believer.

On the flip side, for a non-believer, if God exists, such a person would lose out on divine blessings. And the atheist also has little to gain if God does not exist.

This wager is a useful one to take on, not just on the topic of God, but even in our daily lives. It’s better in general to be optimistic about things, believing that the future will be better than today. Pascal would take that wager.

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Who changed who

When Mahatma Gandhi was young, he used to loiter around with good-for-nothings. His mum didn’t like this one bit, and used to reprimand Gandhi ji. “You will become like them only, and probably soon take to smoking and drinking.”

To which Gandhi ji replied, “Have faith in me ma, I don’t hang around with them so that I can become like them. I’m hoping that they will become like me instead!”

We each in daily life encounter all sorts of people, some negative some positive. While it might be easy to categorize the ones who party and booze and smoke as the “bad” ones, this is barely scratching the surface. Look beneath, even for the “good” ones, you will find so much “bad” lurking there – anger, jealousy, greed, fear – you name it.

How to be “good” then? By being mentally strong, having faith in oneself, and living a dharmic life as guided by our scriptures.

Faith in oneself is key. Just like a bird doesn’t give two hoots about the branch it is sitting on. Because her trust is placed on her own wings.

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SMART

We’ve all heard about SMART goals. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. This is goal setting 101.

But there’s also a SMART in the non-material realm, which I came across in the newspaper recently.

S for Spirituality.
M for Measurable.
A for Action oriented, like Karma Yoga.
R for Renunciation.
T for time, which is running out.

When do we begin to follow this SMART?

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Fruits of action

We are often told by Lord Krishna in the Gita to give up the “fruits” of our actions. What are these fruits?

We typically tend to associate these fruits with the various results we get. You put in a lot of hardwork, and it resulted in you getting a promotion. And so that becomes your fruit of action.

But is this all there is to it?

The word fruit is emblematic of something far deeper. It indicates the cycle of birth and death, and the incessant repetitive nature of creation and dissolution.

An apple fruit contains within it various seeds, each of which in turn containing the latent potential of not just future trees, but also future apples, future seeds, and future grandchildren-trees!

The fruits of our actions are no different. They contain seeds which propel further action. The promotion of today will lead to a desire for more wealth and promotions for future years, ad infinitum.

These fruits might seems sweet and delicious, but in effect only bind us more and lead to more pain. The only way, as Krishna says, is to renounce the fruits.

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Froggy success

Know who Brian Tracy is? I didn’t. Or at least I thought I didn’t. His Wikipedia page says he’s a motivational speaker and author that has written 80 books. 80! Incredible!

And then I saw the title “Eat that Frog”, and then I realized wow I do know about Brian Tracy. He’s the guy that said if there’s something hard or unpleasant (like eating a frog) you need to do today, then do it first up, without postponing it to later in the day. That is good advice, and well known.

Today I came across a short clip of the same Mr. Tracy. He was answering a very important question. “What are the enemies of success?” Here’s his lovely answer:

There are 3 enemies of success:
1. The Comfort Zone – self explanatory
2. Learned Helplessness – where we practice and normalize saying “I can’t do it”
3. Path of Least Resistance – i.e., always looking for an easy way, but nothing worth having ever came easy.

What clarity!

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Moon man

Everyone knows about the super-sweeper incident from many decades ago. President JFK went to NASA to inspect a rocket launch. He chanced upon a sweeper. JFK asked the sweeper what he was upto. The sweeper didn’t feel shy or embarrassed to tell only the the most important man he’d meet in his life that he was sweeping the floor. Instead, he told JFK that he was contributing towards putting a man on the moon. What a superb attitude to life!

This is often quoted in relation to Krishna’s teachings in the Gita as well. Our life purpose and work purpose must transcend the mundane. Krishna emphasizes many times that it is not what work we do that matters, but only “how” we do the work.

Folks think that they will be happy at work only when they become the CEO. But the CEO’s role might be the hardest, and definitely the loneliest. The CEO is alone, managing a huge team below him, while also solitarily reporting to a Board above.

As many expert opine nowadays, if we want people to align with us, then we should get them to care. And no one cares about what we do, they only care about why we do it.

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Mental farmland

Have you ever had that experience, where you think and think and think – searching for an answer – but that answer just stays elusive?

You feel so stupid. The answer seems to be just on the tip of your tongue. And still it evades you.

But then you go for a walk, or a shower, or are sitting aimlessly carelessly somewhere sometime, and boom, the answer hits you. Why is this?

Simon Sinek, the author of bestselling book “Start with Why”, and the host of the awesome podcast “A bit of optimism”, has a scientific answer.

According to him, our minds have access to data at 2 levels. The conscious mind (which we use to quickly look for an answer) has about 2 feet of data access. Think of it like a small local database.

But our subconscious mind? It has access to 11 acres of data! No wonder we remember so much, but the timing is not in our hands.

This is why ‘brainstorming’ is actually about asking the right questions. The right answers will come later, likely in the shower!

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Defining meditation

It’s quite hard to define a word such as meditation. It’s an experience, and surely everyone experiences it differently. A book I came across recently called Steps to Raja Yoga by Swami Atmatattwananda Saraswati has a full chapter devoted to meditation. Here is an excerpt that defines meditation:

Definition of meditation as per the Yoga Darśanam: The sanskrit word for meditation is known as 'Dhyana'. According to Maharşi Patanjali, the founder of Yoga philosophy, meditation is defined as (P.Y.S- 3:2) Tatra Pratyaya Ekat- anata Dhyanam'. Tatra 'there', or in a particular stage. Pratyaya means the content of consciousness or the modifications of the mind. Ekatanata means unbroken stream or uninterrupted thought. When the contents of the mind remain at one point or thought and continue for a long time, the experience is known as meditation. The Sanskrit word Dhyana is also derived from the root word 'Dhyai' which means Chinta' contemplation, or deep thinking in order to achieve the higher level of consciousness. A spontaneous and continued state of the mind focused on any particular process or object is described as meditation.
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Something on the table

On a podcast where the guest was American Hedge Fund entrepreneur Anthony Scaramucci, he reiterated the exact same thing as the title. He said his mentor’s most importance advice that has stayed with him all throughout and been the most beneficial is this: “Always leave something on the table”.

It could be a small deal or a large one, a few million dollars, or a few billion. Everyone wants to feel like they’ve “won”. Walking away from the table having lost money is not a good feeling at all.

One of the biggest follies I see around me is that folks who are looking to close deals are constantly thinking only about their own side of the bargain.

They says always leave something on the table, but I feel like some parties get so aggressive they end up taking the table itself. Most deals get done on trust and relationships, which take ages to build and nurture. Surely a few percentage points here and there won’t matter in the long run, but it can sure cause long-forged bonds to come undone, or even rip apart.

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Goldest globes

The recently concluded Golden Globes happened with a lot of fanfare. As always, I’m guessing. It’s always the same, very high profile event, and rightfully so. I don’t follow it, and hence the “guess”.

It happens every year, and everything is great.

But one specific Golden Globe event stood out for me. The 2016 one.

Jim Carrey won a Golden Globe that year. It was his second Golden. And you know what he said in his speech?

"When I dream, I don't dream any old dream. No sir, I dream of winning a 3rd Golden Globe. Because then it'll be enough."

While part of the audience was laughing, another part was ruminating the power of his words. Jim wasn’t just joking, but also passing on a critical message. When is enough, truly enough?

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In the quest for siddhis

A lot of people, especially atheists, look for proof that God exists. What they are really looking for, are the existence of deities. And the transfer of some Shakti or energy or supernatural power aka siddhis to them or those they know. This will finally “prove” to them the existence of a higher power.

But the existence of a higher power is already obvious no?

Look at creation. Can any one species on this planet, either alone or collectively build all of creation? Nope. Even the starting point would have to be to use creation itself to create. So, disqualified before the game even starts!

Even amongst us, each one of us already has siddhis. Compared to someone who is deaf or blind at birth, those who can hear or see are surely blessed with siddhis. Just the ability to breathe and be alive is a siddhi! Even beyond that, some people have outstanding oratorical skills, or acting skills, or cooking skills, or math skills, or soft skills and so on. These are all siddhis only. If we can devote ourselves to our ishta devatas in gratitude for what we are already good at, then more will come, but it won’t matter, because the mind will already be pure.

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Metered growth – part 2 of 2

This is a wonderful story about how Hermès controls their brand, and creates a pull factor, a synthetic demand, a craving, if you will. They had all the means to push for more and more growth, but they didn’t. Why?

This goes back about 15 years or so. In Japan. Hermès was selling a type of luxury canvas bag. The ones that would normally be say 10$, but this one sold for maybe 15 times that at 150$. It’s a Hermès after all, and a relatively more accessible one. And so these were flying off the shelves.

99.99% of company managements and Boards would have seen this and said, “Hey, double down, triple down, do whatever it takes, just sell more bags!”

But what did Hermès do? They pulled the bags. Completely took them off the shelves and stopped selling them. Why? Because they knew what they stood for. Ultra Luxury. They didn’t want everyone to own a Hermès and alter their perception of the brand.

The CEO and his team at the time apparently went to get the approval of the Hermès Board at the time to de-authorize selling this incredibly lucrative product, and guess what the Board did? Gave them a standing ovation! Imagine someone doing that today if they are told they will shut down their best selling product…

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Metered growth – part 1 of 2

In this hyper world of hyper startups running at hyper valuations, hyper losses and hyper growth, is there anything that can be metered? Limited? Set to a threshold? And that too growth?

Quite unlikely. Even in life itself, we are all running after something, we often don’t know what. Like a hamster on a wheel, running faster and faster, but mostly getting nowhere.

The guy who stands up and says, “Stop, enough is enough”, wins mental peace, but apparently loses in life.

Would we stand up like this? Or do we prefer to run with the herd?

One incredible (and unexpected!) example I came across recently is of the ultra-luxury brand Hermès. If there was any one entity to gain from hyper growth, it was Hermès, but they didn’t do it. Why? More tomorrow…

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Persona non-deada

There’s a nice Turkish TV series called Sahsiyet, which apparently translates to Persona.

It’s about an ex-judiciary employee who starts to suffer from Alzheimer’s. And then decides to consider his lack of memory as lack of a conscience, allowing himself to kill those who he believes have wronged, but who have not received appropriate justice.

This is just the intro plot, which you’ll figure out in the first 15 minutes, so a lot more happens through the series.

One specific scene early on is super.

A post-mortem specialist is working on a body in the morgue. The guy is totally chilled out, enjoying his work, cutting up a dead body, whilst coolly sipping on his coffee. And then he remarks:

"It's so much easier to be here with the dead. Because the dead can't harm anybody, at least not anymore. But the living? The hard part is to get used to the living!"

How true, isn’t it?

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DivINity

The divine is IN us. Here’s a short story from Osho that reiterates this point.

A man approached a Zen master with the desire to become a Buddha. The master, no less than 90 years old, in response, struck the man hard, leaving him confused and hurt.

The man went to an old disciple for an explanation of the master’s actions. The disciple explained that the master’s actions were rooted in compassion, and that the man should consider the master’s age and physical limitations before judging him as cruel and violent. At 90, the master’s hand would have pained more than this fellow’s cheek!

Despite this explanation, the man still sought the deeper meaning behind the master’s actions. The old disciple simply replied, “The message is simple. If you are seeking to become a Buddha, you must understand that you are already one. The master’s strike was a reminder of this truth.”

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HNY HHP – part 2 of 2

Today we look at Happiness and Health.

  1. Health. Physical and mental. Everyone is facing issues of one type or the other.
    1. Sense control or Dama is key. Right food yes, but not just what goes into the mouth but all other inputs as well for the eyes, ears etc. Moderation is critical. 6.16 6.17 of the Gita has Krishna speaking about moderation in everything. Mind you, He doesn’t talk about giving up everything, but about practising moderation. How can we practise this? Maybe have a “1-day off” ritual every month. On that one day alone, we give up something, like social media or TV or certain foods etc. This will only serve to strengthen our mental, emotional and spiritual muscles.
    2. Positive thinking – for mental health, which is a huge contributor to mental health. How? By cultivating positive noble qualities. These are enlisted in the Gita 16.3, called Daivi sampath, or Divine qualities. Examples are no anger, compassion, altruistic, non-critical, forgiving.
  2. Happiness. Where is it? Not outside, but inside each one of us. Spiritual happiness comes “in spite of” vyakti vastu paristhithi, not “because of”, and that is a key distinction.
    1. One practise point is to try and enjoy all work. How? By converting work to worship, and Krishna explains in Chp 18. Do all work with dhriti and utsaaha, perseverance and excitement.
    2. The ultimate spiritual truth, unlimited Ananda is within us, our own true nature. Sat chit Ananda. Like the UPS, it is an Uninterrupted Power Supply.

2023, nay every year henceforth, if we practise these, will be amazing.

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HNY HHP – part 1 of 2

It’s a little late now to be exchanging new year greetings, but bear with me. We had a super satsang session recently, where the speaker laid out a simple road map that anyone can (and everyone should!) follow.

What do we usually greet with? Happy New Year (HNY), and I wish you a Healthy, Happy and Prosperous (HHP) 2023! So the speaker took each of H, H and P, and gave us a quick but structured road map. We’ll cover P today, and look at the 2 Hs tomorrow.

1. Prosperity. Which is doing well, both materially and spiritually. 2 things to do for this.

One is to have focus (hence goals are important). And make them action oriented rather than linked to end results. Instead of saying my goal is to lose 5 kilos, say that my goal is to eat 1 bowl of cut fruits every day and spend 15 minutes exercising. Spiritual goals would include how much time to devote to spiritual practises, how much to devote in the service of others, and how much to donate to the needy. Being focused, as Krishna says in 2.41 of the Gita, vyayvasaayaatmika buddhi, is critical for achieving one’s goal.

Second is to ensure self-effort, with self-confidence. The famous Uddharetaatamnaatmaanam shloka from chapter 6 verse 5 is on point. Be optimistic, be fearless and ensure to have a spiritual diary / audit process to take stock.

Concluded tomorrow with the 2 Hs!

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Negative stripes

Was watching a podcast on YouTube where the guest was a tantric practitioner.

He spoke of the existence of a lot of extra-worldly things. All sorts of beings, many of which are mentioned in our mythological texts and which we take just to be stories or figments of someone’s fantastical imagination.

But this practitioner was convinced that all these are for real, and that he had had personal experiences with such beings as well.

It’s hard to know whether something like this is true or not, whether all these astral planes and 5th and 6th dimensions and such exist or not. But one of the things he said was intriguing. He was talking about a few very “negative energy” beings. The podcast host asked him if these beings were “bad”.

To which this gentleman said that it’s not about bad or good, but just about samskaras or tendencies. A tiger will bite, if you out your hand in its mouth. Does that make the tiger bad?

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Blamer

We all know that old example, where when we point out index fingers at someone else accusingly, three fingers are pointing back at us.

We know this, we understand it, and yet we find it hard to accept any sort of blame. If someone at home or at work says something to us, we instantly curl into a defensive ball like a porcupine.

We behave like Gods with those who are beneath us on the so-called social ladder. But one word of disagreement from anyone above, and poof, we get hurt, crying in our heads like a punctured social bladder.

If we crib and complain about the external world, all we are doing is to make that external world even more real. This is exactly the opposite of what spirituality teaches us about existence.

If we can take ownership of our problems, and look within, and make ourselves perfect, without looking for perfection outside, then all the problems will automatically get resolved.

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Being Human means what?

We’ve all come across spiritual texts and saints who say “just be”.

They say that’s all spirituality is. Just be. No need to do anything. Just be. Whatever is needed, is already within you. Just be.

What does this even mean? Can’t say I’m 100% sure to be honest, but here’s one excerpt from a book on Kundalini Yoga called KY Exposed. A pretty good read I must say, although it seems to be extremely advanced (so waaaaay out of reach for me, but interesting stuff nevertheless):

Being isn't opposed to living life. It doesn't imply that you sit and don't do anything all day long. It does mean that you simply aren't hoping for something to happen. You embrace life as it is, for life is not separated from you! Your body-mind will act and do what it has to do, but inside, you are peacefully reposing in your blissful Self- Awareness.
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FormulaOne FailureNone

Merc-AMG won 8 F1 races in a row. And then they lost.

Toto Wolff, the team Principal at Merc spoke about what it takes to build a “winning culture”.

Paradoxically, the winning culture comes from losing, or rather the learning from the losing.

The statement of his that I liked the most?

The days we lose, are the days our competitors will regret the most. Because those are the days that we learn. 

How will we look at failure the next time we face it?

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Meditation PS

PS here refers to Problem Solving.

Meditation PS? Yes, because most people, me first on the list, struggle with some important stuff.

Like how to keep the mind calm and focused? Answer: it’s not possible, because that is the nature of the mind. Advanced yogis can, but not without deliberate practice, which is what made them advanced yogis in the first place. For most others, even after brief meditative spells, they will crash right back into the plane of desires and attachments.

What to do? Catch hold of your Guru or Ishta Devata. Not physically, but mentally. And try to meditate on topics related to them, if not on them only. This gives some freedom to the monkey mind, while still keeping it on a leash. It helps if we truly recognize and believe that everything we are today, and everything we will be tomorrow, is entirely because of the Guru and/or the Ishta Devata. They are both the same at their core, so choosing one over the other doesn’t matter. If we feel deep down that everything is because of them, then where is the question of our ego, and hence our desires and attachments?

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CSN

Chandra Shakha Nyaya. This is an ancient technique and analogy in Sanskrit which teaches one to locate the moon in the sky.

How would you teach it, if the crescent moon was just a sliver, and practically not discernible? The sky is vast and has no other reference points. In the early evening, the sun’s light might be quite bright as well, further reducing the chances of spotting the baby crescent.

The answer is, via CSN, or “moon-branch technique”. The teacher would point to a nearby tree, and then to a trunk on the tree, then to a branch on the tree, then the tip of the branch, and finally the eye would spot the moon, as if just off the tip of the branch.

The moon is completely separate from the tree, trunk and branch. Very similar to how the soul or Atman within us is completely separate from the body, mind and intellect. Yet we must use these very faculties (whether through meditation, reading the scriptures or living a dharmic life) and go beyond.

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PPP model

We hear all the time of the PPP or Public Private Partnership model in infrastructure development. And how this is the most efficient way of building for the future.

Another PPP model came to mind for our own development as I set out for a walk recently.

This PPP is Prayaas Prarabdha and Praarthana.

Prayaas is our own self effort, without which we cannot even wake up from the bed.

Prarabdha is whatever destiny we are born with. It can be changed at least to some extent through the first P, but still needs to be endured in good measure.

And finally Praarthana or prayer. We can put all our effort and more, but without the grace of God and the Guru, it all remains meaningless.

This is the PPP model for our own development. What do you think of it?

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Sad happiness

My neighbour’s 8 month old baby becomes incredibly happy when she sees me. Her smile is a mile-wide, each and every time!

My Guru’s smile is also a mile-wide, each time he sees me. It’s as if he was waiting all day eagerly to see me, even though I am a nobody. He does this for every single person, no matter who they are.

There is so much happiness in this that all sadness and all irritants in life are forgotten. These are cases of happiness instantly infusing happiness into others. But do we practise this ourselves?

Typically when we see happiness around us, we become sad. Really? We do? Think of a peer getting an early promotion and a solid bonus. Could have been ours, but wasn’t, and then jealousy kicks in. We may smile on the outside, but deep down the emotions are different.

As long as our happiness is linked to a material pursuit, this will always be the case. We will either want to immediately possess the same material item or else become upset.

But happiness is neither a thing nor linked to one. It is an infinite resource, and comes from celebrating eveything life has to offer. Today’s failure is a seed for tomorrow’s success, and today’s success is a seed for tomorrow’s failure. If we can accept this, we can each be forever-happy-now!

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1000

Sometimes it feels like there’s so much to write and say. And yet, when I pick my fingers up to type, I draw a blank. This has gone on for many many days, so much so, that today’s post is #1000! Pretty cool no? Can only thank you for it, for patiently reading day after day.

But the blanks still come. What to do about it I wonder sometimes? One answer came today in the form of a nice Simon Sinek podcast.

He spoke of one time when he was giving a speech – probably the most important one of his career at the time – and in front of a massive audience of thousands of people. Halfway through his speech, he completely lost his train of thought, and went dead silent, as did the room, expectantly looking at him, waiting for him to complete his thought. But nothing came. 5 seconds passed, and Simon narrates how afraid he was initially and what might happen thereafter.

But then he changed it up. He put himself in a position of vulnerability, and explained honestly to his audience that he was in one of those situations where one just blanks out, how it happens to everyone, and that he was not regretting it, but instead enjoying it and “feeling absolutely alive!”

Then he requested the audience to help remind him of what the last thing he said was. And someone did, and boom, he was back on track again. Simon says that the audience applauded so much at that point, that it was much more than the applause at the end of his speech. Why? According to him, it’s because instead of thinking about himself, he was thinking about the audience, how they would feel being left in the lurch, and to think of what the best way would be to make them feel comfortable again. Not thinking about himself or how foolish he would look, but entirely about how audience would feel. As Simon concludes on the podcast, selfless service is always the right answer.

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Happy new who?

An old article by Chinmaya Mission founder Swami Chinmayananda wishing everyone a new year, never gets old (pun intended!).

It’s not just the usual Happy New Year wish that we all practise at the turn of each year. Rather, he turns the question on its head, and asks if really anything is new.

Aren’t we still the same morose, dejected, anxious, desperate, demanding, greedy, selfish (I can add many more such words to describe my own mind!) people that we were just the eve of the new year? What changed then just as the clock struck twelve?

Swami C asks this very question. If one day to the next is exactly the same, then what are we celebrating? The quality of time is not moving or changing. It is us humans who have divided time into minutes and hours and days and years, and we keep track of it, and rejoice as it apparently whizzes past us.

But the true happy new year as Swami C concludes, is only when we change and transform ourselves, and become better, more evolved, spiritual beings. The moment that happens, it is indeed the dawn of a very happy new year!

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Better-est path

Everyone wants to find the best-est path to liberation. They may not want liberation, but it’s sure fun to know what the right, nay, easiest path is.

So people have intense discussions and arguments over whether karma yoga is better or Jnana yoga is better. Or if bhakti yoga is better-est than the others. A few vouch for raja yoga while others say there is nothing better than kriya yoga. Which is truly the best-est path?

In chapter 12 of my Guru’s outstanding Amazing Simple Gita, he writes profoundly thus:

In all paths, our mind needs to be free of thoughts from the world. If our interest is in the world and it's activities, then no path is easy for us.

Clear as a blue sky!

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Risky business

Many people look at risk from a financial perspective. If I make 100$ investment in a stock for example, then will my capital grow through time? Or would it get obliterated?

One could also look at risk from the perspective of losing something other than money, such as a job or a relationship. It’s always a worry for many employees. Should they open their mouths and speak up? Or is it too risky, potentially leading to a demotion or worse, a sacking?

While the risk of doing something, anything, is always large, there exists another very big risk. This is the risk of not doing anything at all. Optimists will gravitate towards doing something, while pessimists will prefer to watch from the sidelines.

Even in spirituality, risk exists. We are often saddled with the weight of the questions, “Am I good enough?” and “What will people think if I…?”

Coming out of this stage requires a lot of courage and self-compassion. The greatest risk is this: not letting go of what people think, and not standing up for how we feel, what we believe in and who we are.

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Desire? Or no desire?

There’s always this confusion while living in the material world. Should we achieve more? Or not?

If we should achieve more, we need to have lofty goals. If we have to have lofty goals, then we’d also need to desire those things.

But spirituality tells us to give up all desires and attachments. On the other side, self-help and motivational coaches talk about the importance of daily affirmations and creatively visualizing your goals, as if they already happened. Is there a way to bridge this disconnect?

There may be. If the desires are truly and solely for the benefit of others and to the exclusion of oneself, then there is perhaps no disconnect. And desires for one’s own kin so that it indirectly benefits us does not count!

The other plausible line of desires could be to improve one’s own good qualities – to affirm that we would be kinder, nobler, more generous, more compassionate human beings. These again ultimately help to serve creation, rather than leech from it.

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G Force

There’s always a lingering question about “experiences” that one might have on the spiritual path.

Some people say they have visions of various deities. Others get some siddhis? Some receive messages in their dreams. Others discern changes in their mental state – more angry, more heated.

Are such experiences good or bad? Is it even possible to classify them as such?

Came across a very nice analogy to think about this. It’s similar to being on a fighter jet for the very first time. As anyone who’s watched Top Gun will know, the force is so much, that one can quickly feel disoriented.

But is this force of gravity bad? Or is it good? There’s no clear answer, because this is not something that can be classified into good or bad. It just is what it is.

But if you have an experienced instructor pilot with you, they will teach you and prepare you for that moment. Ditto with a Guru for spiritual processes.

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Knock knock knocking on…

…heaven’s doo..oo..oooorr, was how the iconic Guns n Roses band crooned their super hit single many decades ago.

It would seem like getting into heaven is truly a difficult task. Just keep knocking and knocking, but when and whether the door would open, quite literally, “God only knows!”.

A quote from poet Rumi struck me as interesting hence:

I have lived on the tip of insanity wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens! I have been knocking from the inside!

Think about it. This is pretty much what each one of us on the spiritual path is doing. We are knocking on God’s door, but this God is already inside, so we too are knocking from the inside!

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Good and Bad

Here are some outstanding lines from the Ashtavakra Gita:

He who has known that adversity and prosperity come through the effects of past actions is ever contented. 

Notice how it says both adversity and prosperity. Not only prosperity. It’s not only the good experiences and things we have which lead to contentment. Instead, it is the knowledge that both adversity and prosperity come from past karma – that’s what leads to true satisfaction. If something bad happens, it probably resulted from something much more than just what we did an hour ago. If something great happens, it too probably resulted from something more than just last hour’s effort. We must think not just about the outcome, but of the million billion incidents that had to all happen since we were born, in order to bring that specific event to fruition.

He who knows that happiness and misery, birth and death are also due to the effects of past actions becomes free from care and is not attached even though engaged in action.
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Black Pearl

Anyone who even mildly follows football (aka soccer) would immediately know that Black Pearl refers to the one and only Pele. He brought a level of class and charisma to the sport that the world had never witnessed till he came on the scene.

While his football successes are well documented, what is interesting is a song he wrote and performed in a talk show hosted by another football great – Diego Maradona.

The song Pele sang was a self-composition about wanting “a normal life”.

“You want to be me, and I want to be you”, he sang, as if to an ardent fan.

Arguably the greatest footballer in the world at one point in time, wanted nothing more than to be “normal”.

Eveything has its pluses and minuses. If we want to import the positives in someone else’s life, we must be ready to import the negatives as well. It’ll always be a package. That is only normal.

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Consistent wordling

We’ve all heard the quote “Consistency bests talent”. This is absolutely true, but usually only when measured in the long run. If one has both talent and consistency, then they become unbeatable!

A simple example I love every morning is the New York Times’ Wordle. If you haven’t tried it yet, you should. It takes just a few minutes to do everyday.

There are different approaches to solving it. Some prefer to guess the words directly, so that they finish within as few tries as possible.

There’s also the more consistent approach, where you can try the same set of words daily, but over time increase the probability of your success. For example, starting with ADIEU, SPORT and LYNCH means you cover the most letters with none of them repeating. This improves your chances of success over time. But it may not be the best to win an individual game. The choice is ours. Consistency? Or short term success?

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Here you ego

Ego is like a fire, waiting for someone to fuel it. A few nice comments from someone and our chests swell with pride. It’s also fuelled by illusions of our own grandeur, as though we achieved things all on our own!

Ego is bad. But is ego always bad?

Ego is needed for our growth, like when there is a challenge, or the need for creativity and we need to achieve something.

In failure, ego is a wonderful tool, because it doesn’t let you stay down. “Come on, get up, you can do it”, it says.

But in success? It would be best to drop the ego, the feeling that we are individually responsible for all the greatness around.

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Biggie wiggie

Big is eveything. The more the merrier. The grander the better.

All of human life seems to revel in the grandiose.

More money, more fame, more partying, more socializing, more work, more bonus, more holidaying, more promotions.

But “more” is relative, and limitless. And we tie our happiness to this word.

Then how can we ever be happy?

For happiness, less is more. Even zilch is more. The more we give the happier we become. Helping others with zero expectations, being kind to animals, conducting oneself with humility, doing one’s duty with sincerity, protecting our gift of Mother Nature, living with fellow human beings in loving togetherness – these are the simple yet essential requirements for happiness prescribed by the ancients. Not biggie wiggie, but smallie wallie.

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Somebody who’s a somebody

We all want to be noticed and recognized, even seen as someone who is really cool – intelligent, charismatic, principled, caring, dynamic, interested in other people… and maybe a few more things!

But how to be like this? Is there something that can be done? Yes there is, and it doesn’t even need you to open your mouth to utter a single word. How incredible is that!

In a book called 92 ways to talk to anyone, the author says the following:

Just ensure great upright posture, a heads-up look, a confident smile and a direct gaze. It's the ideal image for a somebody who's a somebody!
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“Why Me”s

Every obstacle we face in life tends to be associated with a “Why Me?”. Why am I the one to suffer? Why am I not getting a promotion? Why am I not getting as much as money as my peers? Why am I not as good looking as my friends? Why am I not as famous as my batch mates? Why Me only?

There are infinite more such Why Me questions that are possible.

But if we are living decent and comfortable lives today, if we even have a couple of miracles to count, even just the fact that we are alive (because so many babies don’t make it past their first week in this world), then there is only one Why Me question to ask. And that is:

What did I do to deserve my Guru’s grace? Why did my Guru choose me over so many others who have no Gurus and no direction in life? Why does my Guru look at me with so much love and compassion? Why Me?

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Newspaper realities

Here’s what I came across while glancing through today’s newspaper:

  • Flying chunks from a construction site hit two bystanders, a mother and son, and kills both instantly
  • A truck full of soldiers falls into a deep ravine and they all die
  • A father is killed by his sons because of an alleged affair, and they burn his body in his own furnace where he used to make snacks
  • An actress commits suicide because a co-actor threatened her
  • A 3 year old died when he fell 5 floors as he was trying to climb a staircase where a glass safety panel was missing
  • 8 temple pilgrims die in car mishap

I did not even have to look past the first 2 pages for the paper for this. If you are reading this and have not faced something so gruesome, then you have the protection of your Guru and the Lord. All we can do is to smile and bask in that good fortune and dedicate our lives to Both of Them.

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Smells like team spirit – part 2 of 2

Leil Lowndes, author of the bestselling book “How to Talk to Anyone92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships” begins his book with the following:

You see, nobody gets to the top alone. Over the years, people who seem to "have it all" have captured the hearts and conquered the minds of hundreds of others who helped boost them, rung by rung, to the top of whatever corporate or social ladder they chose.

Scottie Pippen says emphatically when journalists question him back then, “My time will come.”

I don’t know if his time came or not, whether his pay was revised or not. But that is one damn good attitude to have.

And even if MJ was undoubtedly the best player the game has ever seen, he surely couldn’t have done it without his team (spirit).

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Smells like team spirit – part 1 of 2

Nirvana, the rock band of yesteryear, had an insane hit called “smells like teen spirit”. More than teen spirit, it’s team spirit that matters for success in life – not that Niravana felt otherwise.

But a recent TV series called The Last Dance, chronicles the final NBA season of the Chicago Bulls a couple of decades ago.

Anyone who was old enough to watch basketball at the time will remember the outstanding Michael Jordan, as well as his partner in crime Scottie Pippen. I always thought things were great between them given how amazing they were on the court.

But despite Pippen being at least the 2nd best player in the Bulls, he was only the 6th best ranked player on the team in terms of salary. His salary rank was 120th when the entire NBA was considered. Surely very less for one of his caliber.

Continued tomorrow…

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N.O.W = No Other Way

Now is all we have, No Other Way
To live our lives, to make each day
A moment to embrace and hold dear
To focus on the present, never fear

The past is gone, the future yet to be
But now is all we have, don’t we see?
So let go of regrets, of what-ifs and might-have-beens
And embrace the present, for it’s all that’s ever been

Everything that’s happened, everything that will
Were nows, in their own time, until
They slipped away, into the past
Leaving us with now, this moment that will last

So let’s make the most of now, and all it can bring
Embrace the present, and let the past take wing
For now is all we have, no other way
To live and love and be, each and every day

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Space exploration

“Last year, I had a life-changing experience at 90 years old. I went to space, after decades of playing an iconic science-fiction character who was exploring the universe. I thought I would experience a deep connection with the immensity around us, a deep call for endless exploration.

"I was absolutely wrong. The strongest feeling, that dominated everything else by far, was the deepest grief that I had ever experienced.

"I understood, in the clearest possible way, that we were living on a tiny oasis of life, surrounded by an immensity of death. I didn’t see infinite possibilities of worlds to explore, of adventures to have, or living creatures to connect with. I saw the deepest darkness I could have ever imagined, contrasting so starkly with the welcoming warmth of our nurturing home planet.

"This was an immensely powerful awakening for me. It filled me with sadness. I realized that we had spent decades, if not centuries, being obsessed with looking away, with looking outside. I did my share in popularizing the idea that space was the final frontier. But I had to get to space to understand that Earth is and will stay our only home. And that we have been ravaging it, relentlessly, making it uninhabitable."

This is what was said by William Shatner who played an iconic character in the Sci fi TV series Star Trek. The Gita says that not only is space “outside”, but that even the earthly world is “outside” only. The true essence lies deep within each one of us.

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Two-way street

We always think that focus comes only when we are interested in something.

Like if you love to play video games or watch YouTube videos, then you no doubt have massive focus on these activities. No matter who is calling you or what needs to be done, it’s possible to not hear anything of the outside world.

So if we like something, we will focus automatically.

But is this helpful? Not really, because what if we don’t like something. How can we focus then?

In a book calling Finding Flow by psychologist and author Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, he mentions the following eye-popping sentence:

If you are interested in something, you will focus on it, and if you focus your attention on anything, it is likely that you will become interested in it. Many of the things we find interesting are not so by nature, but because we took the trouble of paying attention to them.

This means that focus-and-interest is not a one-way, but a two-way street!

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Unity in Oneness

In the 11th chapter of the Bhgavad Gita, Lord Krishna shows his VishwaRoopa Darshanam to Arjuna.

What does Arjuna see?

Countless forms of all types of creatures, and surely all of space and the universe and more.

He sees all types of Gods and Goddesses too.

All of them manifesting in different forms, however very much a part of the same all-pervading shapeless formless timeless Bhagavan.

Despite such unity of the Gods, it is mind boggling that human beings decimate their own unity in the name of God(s).

Let’s pray for a peaceful and united 2023! 🙏😊

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Flow of Gold

We may have all heard of the famous Kanakadhaara stotram. Kanaka refers to gold, while dhaara is its flow.

Whenever someone is impacted by financial troubles, the remedy suggested is this beautiful ode to Goddess Lakshmi. But why will she give us gold or money? Spirituality asks us to give up attachments and desires. Here on the other hand, we are asking for more?

A quick background is helpful to contextualise this: Adi Sankaracharya, as a young Brahmin boy, went to a poor lady’s house for alms for his lunch. The lady, mired in poverty, offered him the only possession she had – a single amla (gooseberry) fruit. Sankara was touched by her kindness and selflessness and sang 22 stanzas in praise of Goddess Lakshmi, which is now known as the Kanakadhaara stotram.

The Goddess appeared before him and asked why he had remembered her. Sankara implored her to reverse the lady’s fortunes by granting her riches.

But Goddess Lakshmi refused! She said the lady’s fate was bound to poverty due to karma from her prior births. Sankara pleaded for the Goddess to absolve the lady’s past sins and change her fate, saying that she has surely transformed spiritually now, given she gave away the only thing she had! Goddess Lakshmi was pleased and granted Sankara’s request, showering the lady’s house with golden gooseberries, aka the flow of gold.

To get some, we have to give some, or maybe give all!

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Living in the…

We know that we need to live in the now. That’s what all great people say. The present is a gift, and that’s why it’s called the present, yada yada.

So there was a question this weekend at the satsang by a newbie. A very valid question, that could put all the oldies to shame. Just because one has spent 30-40-50 years in the satsang means nothing, no different from giving the same exam year after after for decades and flunking each time.

The question was this. We are told to live in the present. But we often find great learnings from mistakes we made in the past. If we have to live in the present only, then how to learn from past mistakes?

The answer given by the speaker was mind blowing. He said that it’s great to learn from the past, but not okay to regret the past. What’s the difference? The former is a conscious activity, while the latter is unconscious. The former propels us toward action, the latter prevents it. Likewise for the future. There’s no harm planning for it. But getting anxious about the future? Not allowed bye bye.

Interestingly, both learning and planning, while associated with the past and future respectively, actually happen in the now only!

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Relationship Advisory – part 3 of 3

During the podcast, Adam Grant requested his guests – the Gottmans – to share examples of how they would resolve conflicts. And boy did they provide some funny yet eye-opening versions.

Without going into the examples here though, even better is how Adam summarized everything beautifully at the end. Here it is, verbatim:

I came into this conversation thinking the Gottmans’ secret sauce must be their knowledge from research and therapy. Now, I believe it's something more: their deliberate practice. It's like they've been training for the Conflict Olympics. They're not just coaches watching other people's highlight reels and bloopers. They're professional arguers. They practice fighting. They review their game tape afterward. Amazing. There's a lot of evidence that what hurts relationships is not arguing frequently. It's arguing poorly, and watching the Gottmans convinces me that the best way to get better at fighting is to do it more, and then debrief on what went well and how you could have handled it more effectively. That way, instead of duking it out to try to win the argument, you're on the same side, trying to improve the argument, together. I think we should all give this a whirl, and I know where I'm gonna start. 
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Relationship advisory – part 2 of 3

Continuing from yesterday, the Gottmans talk about an interesting concept. The “4 horsemen” is a term coined by John and Julie Gottman to refer to four common behaviors that are predictors of relationship failure. These behaviors are:

Criticism: This involves attacking someone’s character or personality, rather than focusing on a specific behavior or issue. For example, instead of saying “I don’t like it when you leave dirty dishes in the sink,” a person might say “You are so lazy and inconsiderate.”

Contempt: This involves putting the other person down or mocking them in a hostile way. For example, using sarcasm or eye-rolling to show that you think the other person is stupid or unworthy of respect.

Defensiveness: This involves avoiding responsibility for your own actions and trying to shift blame onto the other person. For example, instead of acknowledging that you made a mistake and apologizing, you might say “I only did it because you always…” or “It’s not my fault, it’s yours.”

Stonewalling: This involves shutting down or withdrawing from the conversation, either physically or emotionally. For example, not responding to the other person’s comments, or walking out of the room without saying anything.

Pretty cool way of dissecting relationships, and especially what can go wrong!

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Relationship advisory – part 1 of 3

In a cool new podcast by Adam Grant, he interviews John and Julie Gottman. The two are psychologists who have been studying healthy relationships for over four decades. They co-founded the Gottman Institute, and have written numerous bestselling books together.

They discuss their famous study on predicting divorce rates in the podcast episode. I first thought, “what? Predicting divorce? How is that even possible? Are they using Vedic astrology?” But no, it was a proper study!

They had couples come into their lab and talk about the issues in their marriage, and were able to predict their divorce rates with astonishing accuracy by coding the little signals they sent each other back and forth. They synchronized the video time code to physiological measures from each person, looking at heart rate, how much they sweat from their hands, respiration, blood velocity, gross motor movement, and the emotions that the couples were displaying.

Almost shockingly (to me!), they could account for more than 90% of the variation in what happened to the couple, and could not only predict whether they would stay together or get divorced, but also predict when they would get divorced and how happily married they would be if they stayed together.

Incredible, and so did they have any more insights to offer? More tomorrow…

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An Offer you can’t refuse

For any fan of the movie, the title of this blog post would immediately remind one of The Godfather movie – one of the most iconic ones ever to be made. But making the movie itself was no easy task. Low budgets, a string of prior failures, struggles with casting, involvement of the real-life mafia, you name a problem and it was present.

All of this is captured beautifully in a TV miniseries released recently aptly called The Offer. The producer of the film and the CEO of Paramount at the time had this dialogue exchange:

Charlie (CEO): A word to the wise, Ruddy. When you fail alone, there's no one else to blame.
Ruddy: That's the only way I want it.

Why I find this so beautiful and so profound, is because it represents the struggle each one of us goes through in life daily. Should we just take it easy, and go with the flow? Or should we go against the grain where needed, and really do something pathbreaking?

I suppose it depends on what we want in life. Do we want to make the most of the time we have here in this life? Or just come unknown and go unknown?

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Overperfect

Striving for perfection can be a source of stress and anxiety for many people, especially me. This even though we know perfection is an unattainable goal. A better way? To focus on progress and self-improvement instead.

The story of Sir Walter Raleigh serves as a cautionary tale of the dangers of appearing too perfect. Raleigh was a man of many talents, including being a scientist, poet, leader, entrepreneur, and sea captain. However, despite his many skills and charms, Raleigh faced opposition wherever he went. It seems that by showing off his skills and qualities, he made others feel inferior and created silent enemies. This envy ultimately led to his downfall, even though it was officially due to treason.

No one is truly perfect, and that’s okay I guess. Embracing our imperfections and striving for progress rather than perfection can help us find peace in our pursuits. Focusing on the process rather than the outcome and taking breaks to recharge can also be helpful in maintaining a healthy balance. This is the essence of karma yoga.

While it’s natural to want to be the best we can be, perfection is not a realistic goal. Following the teachings of the Gita, we can focus on doing our best in every moment, letting go of attachment to success or failure, and finding peace and balance in our pursuits.

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Learning from who(m)… Part 3 of 3

The great sage Dattatreya’s learnings, continued and concluded…

9. From a python, he learned the lesson of contentment, because of its eating habits. Eat when hungry and don’t hog.

10. From the ocean, he learned to remain quiet and calm beneath, no matter how many rivers pour into it

11. From the moth, he learned the dangers of ruining oneself, like the importance for the moth of staying away from the fire, of being distracted by the senses

12. From the bee, that he should beg for little food only, from one house to another

13. From the beetle and the worm, he learned the principle that as a man thinks, so he becomes, and hence the need to continuously contemplate on the Atman

There were a few other teachers as well, totaling 24, and interested readers should read the amazing entire story!

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Learning from who(m)… Part 2 of 3

Continuing the learnings of Sage Dattatreya who in turn learned from observing nature…

5. From fire, he learned austerity, as the flame of self knowledge burns away all desires

6. From the moon that waxes and wanes, he learned that the Self is complete and changeless, but seems to be transforming to the undiscerning eye

7. From the sun, he learned that like the sun is reflected in many pots of water, the atman appears as manifold displays when reflected in the mind

8. From birds, he learned of the dangers of getting attached, as the entire family of birds were trapped, no different from man being trapped in the entangling web of maya

Continued and concluded tomorrow!

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Learning from who(m)… Part 1 of 3

In the Bhagavad Purana, King Yadu is perturbed by his father Yayati’s decision to renounce kingship. So Yadu goes to a forest and meets a realized soul there, an avadhuta, none other than the great Dattatreya.

What he is surprised by more than anything else is how happy this carefree man of the forest is. The Guru then proceeds to tell the King to learn from nature itself. He then explains how he got self realization by observing nature and its teachers. A quick summary follows:

1. From the earth, the quality of patience, forbearance and doing good to others

2. From air, the value of non-attachment and freedom

3. From the sky, the expansive nature of the Self, which is untouched by any object

4. From water, the quality of purity and coolness

More tomorrow…

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DAKM

The 4 Purusharthas as they are called, are DAKM = Dharma + Artha + Kama + Moksha.

One wonders if these are supposed to be separate or they go hand-in-hand?

Here’s a few lines I came across written by Mata Amritandamayi:

Dharma and moksha are interdependent. One who lives according to the principle of Dharma will attain Moksha and one who has a desire to attain moksha will lead a Dharmik life. If they are used incorrectly and unwisely, money and riches can become big obstacles. They are obstructions to those who wish to evolve spiritually. The more money you have the more obsessed you are likely to become with your body. The more you identify with your body the more egoistic you become. Money is not a problem but unintelligent attachment to it is. 
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Golden touch

Enough successful people will tell us that life is a marathon, not a sprint. And yet most people live their lives as a series of successive sprints, often more tired starting the next one, than they were the prior.

Look back at your school days, and you’ll realize that many folks who stood top of their class have not made it as far as their potential would have probably suggested at the time. Why could that be?

Perhaps it’s the case of the “golden touch” as one author put it. If we start out successful, then the potentially misplaced confidence in our own abilities skyrockets. We think that we are solely responsible for our own success, and don’t believe that something like luck aka extraneous factors even exists.

Others are often too scared to even try. As my Guru often notes, success is nothing but repeated failure. However, failure that comes from not even trying is not what he’s talking about here. We (me in particular) need to be bold and venturesome. Not timid and close-minded. Failure of the courageous type is nothing more than a synonym for learning.

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Short and sweet

ForeverHappyNow blogs are always short. Sweet, I don’t know. Depends on the mood I suppose, of the writer, the reader, the environment, the circumstances, you name it.

And these mood swings are common to one and all, except the Guru perhaps. We each go through so many positive and negative emotions, always with ourselves in the center. What if this, what if that, am I capable, am I good, am I liked, am I strong, will I be successful, will I be rich etc etc?

Swami Vivekananda has something short and sweet to say:

All power is within you; you can do anything and everything. Believe in that, do not believe that you are weak; do not beleive that you are half-crazy lunatics. You can do anything and everything, without even the guidance of anyone. Stand up and express the divinity within you. 

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Plus minus equal coincidence

Have been reading one interesting book by a Robert Greene called the Laws of Power. In that, he mentions that he trained a young protégé at one point – a Ryan Holiday – to also become an author. All good.

Then in the newspaper today, I saw an op-ed where someone quoted something written by – you guessed it – Ryan Holiday! Nice coincidence.

But that’s not the reason for this post. The newspaper article said Ryan had an interesting learning on “Plus, Minus, Equal”, that a martial arts trainer used.

To become great he says, each fighter needs to have someone better they can learn from, someone lesser who they can teach, and someone equal who they challenge themselves against. So a plus, a minus and an equal.

The unsaid conclusion of this amazing philosophy, is that one is constantly learning, as one is always a student. Even the best of Gurus, have their own Gurus. Humility is key.

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Awesome Inferiority

Watch any toddler for a while.

Apart from all the cuteness, what is most striking?

Their complete lack of ego.

They know that they do not know.

They also know that everyone else in the room knows more than them.

Their inferiority complex actually leads to their superiority in learning.

Why do we, as adults, then fear an inferiority complex?

Not that we need to feel inferior about everything. But it is probably a great tactic to enhance learning.

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Output obsessed?

The world today is obsessed with outputs.

External manifestation is what takes the cake. Bulging biceps or hardboard abs? Wow, everyone wants that, but without going to the gym or eating clean.

Want to close a mega sales deal? Everyone does, but not by putting in the 100s of hours and 1000s of cold calls. Folks look for the one-call-wonder.

Young new joiners at companies want to quickly learn all the technical skills and show off their knowledge, and get promoted as quickly as possible. That’s a good thing, except that experience and (lack of) speed brings emotional and mental maturity – something that is woefully ignored.

But equally, the other side can be emphasized. Most employers don’t care about outputs. Only inputs. Number of hours and weekends worked and “facetime” is more important compared to actual work done.

So is the world more output focused? Or more input focused? Purely from a spiritual point of view, does either matter?

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Focus chokus

Focus is a great thing. But it can also be a greatly destructive thing. How? When we are focused only on the short run.

Feel like you want to sleep right now so as to get a full 8 hour shuteye before that important morning meeting? Sleep will probably evade you for the next hour, if not more.

Want to perform really well in your music audition today? All the nerves will probably get to you.

Desperate to find a life partner? The chances of making a mistake in the process just goes up materially.

Instant gratification is not good. Our scriptures talk of enjoying the journey. If everything is instant, then where is the journey? Before you can even wear your slippers, the ride is over! No wonder all this focus is choking us.

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Horsing around

Someone I know recently met someone else I know.

One of them took the efforts of finding out that the other person loves horses.

So he gifted him a horse encyclopedia. And that connection just skyrocketed, potentially opening future doors for collaboration.

All’s well that ends well!

And then I saw this quote now:

Just as a horse can be controlled by a bridle, the sensual pleasures and passions can be overcome by knowledge, meditation and power of penance. A well controlled horse that gallops fast reaches its destination safely. And sense organs well controlled by the reins of scriptural knowledge can help in realizing the Self.
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Silly Con

What comes to mind when you think of Silicon Valley?

Surely all sorts of techie stuff like social networks and software companies and VC funded tech startups.

But the Silicon in Silicon Valley refers to not these outcomes, but the basic material that enables all of this insane computing power, ie silicon chips aka semiconductors.

In Spiritual Valley too, there’s a lot of focus on breathing tricks and yogic realms and revelatory chakras and other mystic stuff. I am no one to comment on these, and great people have attained and demonstrated various powers or siddhis.

But my Guru is very clear. It is important to give up attachments and desires of this material world. These are the basic materials of spirituality. In Metallica’s words, Nothing Else Matters.

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Please Seat Down

That oh-so-famous interview question? “Tell me about yourself”

Came across a crisp video about how to answer this well, instead of starting with where one was born and what the temperature was on that fateful day!

It’s called the SEAT principle. The interviewee must make sure to cover:

S for skills one brings to the table

E for experiences or educational qualifications

A for the key achievements so far

T for the type of person you are and what gets you going

Pretty simple stuff, but so well formulated! Even outside of formal interviews, it’s always good to have this framework at the back of our minds. It can be used in pretty much any context where one has to introduce themselves. Who knows, that conversation could end up being the opportunity of a lifetime!

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The Gods who are weak

Almost everyday there is a point when I feel tired. Maybe mentally if not physically. But often physically too. Especially if it’s a Monday. Strength seems to always be coming back towards Fridays though. 😁

But weakness isn’t good. Here’s what Paramahamsa Yogananda has said once:

You are all gods, if you only knew it. Behind the wave of your consciousness is the sea of God's presence. You must look within. Don't concentrate on the little wave of the body with its weaknesses; look beneath. As you lift your consciousness from the body and its experiences, you will find that sphere of your consciousness filled with the great joy and bliss that lights the stars and gives power to the winds and storms. Awaken yourself from the gloom of ignorance.
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Upset? Upset!

A columnist in the newspaper recently deconstructed the upset wins of Japan and Saudi in the 2022 Soccer World Cup.

Of course, the upset was to the incumbents, not the winners.

He theorized that the upset victory came due to two reasons, and both are applicable to me in my daily life.

1. Preparation. Being the underdog helps, because they do not expect the game to be easy. Apparently the Saudi coach screamed at his team to get their act in order instead of just gawking at their idol Messi and waiting for selfies with him after losing the match. They had a solid gameplan, knew the exact formations to take against their formidable opponents, and then it was execution to the T.

2. Globalization. Most of the best European soccer leagues have players from all over the world, rather than just from Europe. It reminded me of Indian cricket IPL, where players come from all over the world. This results in spectacular exchange of best practices. The community builds and grows together. This is useful even from a 9-to-5 work perspective. If there’s a scope to learn from people across various regions and cultures, then why not? With the internet at our fingertips, learning is not a luxury, but a function of our own desire.

Upset? Or not so much?

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Superb heroes

The new superhit movie from India made on a shoestring budget called Kantara is making waves all over the country.

It’s actually not a generic Indian movie but one from a specific part of Karnataka, a state in the country.

Not just any random love story, but one of demigods and people with superpowers. Not beams flying out of their eyes, but powers given to save the citizens of the district, while enabling them to live in harmony with nature.

While this may sound like superstition and mythology to some, there is certainly an element of truth to it. The spiritual energy is tangible to those who are receptive to it. Not just the movie, but more so of the same rituals practised in real life.

But folks have watched this movie, and said it’s nonsense. “These things can never happen. Random magic and superstition and silly ancient rituals”

And yet the same people will watch spandex-clad caped-crusaders shooting webs from their wrists and light from their eyes and gloat in amazement. Go figure.

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Hot or cold

Winter is here, and we had to get our geyser fixed. Warm water was coming, but hardly. So we called the plumber, the same chap who had installed our geyser a few weeks back.

He said he wasn’t available, and to call the company for a replacement technician directly, which we did.

Said technician came over, took one look at the geyser, and immediately decalted declared that this installation suffered from the most basic of errors, i.e. incorrect positioning. It had been placed upside down – apparently the most rookie mistake possible.

Mistakes happen, and no harm done (except a nice bill of course).

We sent photos of the pre- and post- geyser setup to the plumber. His response? “I’ve been doing this job 25 years, and you tell me I’ve made a mistake? Impossible. I won’t even look at the photos you’ve sent.”

Nice lesson in overconfidence, ego, customer service, humility, and many other things I’m sure.

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Devatas around us

After watching Kantara, everyone wonders the same thing. Are deities or Devatas really a thing? Do they exist around us, physically? Is there a way to experience them? Because our scriptures and mythological stories have tons of such examples. And when we pray, aren’t we praying to deities for their help? Why pray if they aren’t real?

PVR Narasimha Rao, a Vedic astrologer and Sanskrit scholar put up a nice video recently on YouTube where he addresses this question. He says that deities are indeed real, and can be experienced physically as well as internally.

How this is done is a different story – perhaps needing a lot of meditation.

But the question is, even if you experience something, how can you prove it? These are intensely personal incidents of course. But wouldn’t the Devatas themselves want to prove their existence?

Not at all, says PVR ji. Instead, they are like oxygen. Oxygen doesn’t care whether people know about it or not. And even if we don’t know about the oxygen around us, we are certainly breathing it, else life would be impossible. Only a scientist would try to study the air and evaluate oxygen, just like only a spiritual seeker will seek to study himself and his true nature.

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Giving and SV – part 4 of 4

The superb writings on Giving by Swami Vivekananda concludes below:

1. Ask, therefore, nothing in return; but the more you give, the more will come to you.

2. The quicker you can empty the air out of this room, the quicker it will be filled up by the external air; and if you close all the doors and every aperture, that which is within will remain, but that which is outside will never come in, and that which is within will stagnate, degenerate, and become poisoned.

3. A river is continually emptying itself into the ocean and is continually filling up again. Bar not the exit into the ocean. The moment you do that, death seizes you.

4. Be, therefore, not a beggar; be unattached.

Such amazing wisdom in these writings. It’s up to us to follow to whatever extent we can!

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Giving and SV – part 3 of 4

Giving is living, and so more gems from Swami Vivekananda are below:

1. None is there that will not be compelled, in the long run, to give up everything.

2. And the more one struggles against this law, the more miserable one feels.

3. It is because we dare not give, because we are not resigned enough to accede to this grand demand of nature, that we are miserable.

4. The forest is gone, but we get heat in return. The sun is taking up water from the ocean, to return it in showers.

5. You are a machine for taking and giving: you take, in order to give.

We are machines for giving, isn’t this an outstanding perspective?! Concluded tomorrow…

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Giving and SV – part 2 of 4

More gems from Swami Vivekananda on giving.

1. Learn that the whole of life is giving, that nature will force you to give.

2. So give willingly, because sooner or later, you will have to give up.

3. You come into life to accumulate. With clenched hands, you want to take.

4. But nature puts a hand on your throat and forces your hands open. Whether you will it or not, you have to give.

5. The moment you say “I will not”, the blow comes and you are hurt.

Continued tomorrow…

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Giving and SV – part 1 of 4

Swami Vivekananda was probably one of the most articulate realized-souls ever to be born. Apart from various topics, he specifically focused on the importance of giving. Giving as a virtue, and giving as a necessity. Here are some outstanding statements of his:

1. Give what you have to give. It will come back to you.

2. But do not think of what will come back to you from your giving now. However, it will come back multiplied thousandfold.

3. The attention must not be on what will come back.

4. Yet, have the power to give. Give, and there it ends.

Continued tomorrow…

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Sacrificial paradox

Was reading an interesting article by Sri Sri Ravishankar, about the paradox of sacrifice.

Of course we know that sacrifice is a good thing, because we are doing it for others, and it helps build selflessness. Sacrifice is also the foundation of yagna.

But sacrifice can only come from love. The example Sri Sri gives is of a mother who was scheduled to watch a movie, but then her child falls sick. Does she sacrifice the movie to nurse her child? Apparently she does, but in reality, it is not a sacrifice at all. The mother couldn’t care less about the movie because all her attention is on her child.

So love is key, and one can only sacrifice something they value (such as the movie). If there’s no love, there’s no sacrifice.

As Sri Sri concludes, for a wise man, there is nothing higher than the love for God. If that is his greatest love, then how can he sacrifice God? That is the paradox of sacrifice.

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Top Class

Top Class and Top of the Class, are two totally different things. We’ve each seen this. People who are top of the class in school and university, may be successful, but rarely are the truly top class and top-of-the-world successful.

Pete (his co-founder) and I thought of the people we wanted to run these new business areas as "10 out of 10s". We had both been judging talent long enough to know a 10 when we saw one. Eights just do the stuff you tell them. Nines are great at executing and developing good strategies. You can build a winning firm with 9s. But people who are 10s, sense problems, design solutions and take the business in new directions without being told to do so. Tens always make it rain.

Here’s what Steve Schwarzman of Blackstone says in his book:

Notice how he doesn’t even mention the 1s to 7s?

Are you an 8, 9 or 10? 😄

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Love and happiness?

When you see an animal that is hurt, do you feel sorry for it? Do you try to help it? Or do you pelt it with stones? Harming an innocent animal may not even occur to most of us, and yet there are people (and kids) who take pride in causing such harm. Maybe it shows some false sense of being in control?

How abnout removing stones on the path to prevent some bare feet from getting hurt? Or to remove a nail from the road to prevent a tyre puncture? This is all nothing but being sensitive, being attuned to the needs of others, as the great Jiddu Krishnamurthy would say.

This set of feelings for those around us, is not coming because these other people are ours, but because we are aware of the divinity and beauty inside everything.

Love is being sensitive to others. Doing things for others, irrespective of what others may do back, no different from what a mother does for her baby. When the heart is filled with love and affection, it becomes happy. And this happiness itself is nothing but God.

Love = happiness = God

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Muscular frog

We must have all come across that book with a weird title. “Eat that frog”.

Want to eat a frog? No thank you. But that’s what the book says. There’s always stuff we don’t like to do, like eating frogs, and hence we should do those tasks first. This is more from a work perspective, so that by the time the day is even half done, we feel like we’ve accomplished something.

Of course there are those that love to eat frogs, literally, and so to those I wonder if this title even makes any sense.

But keeping them aside, one slightly dated but interesting example is of the actor Amir Khan in Dangal. He was playing two roles in the same movie, initially as a young muscular fighter, and then eventually a fat old man.

But what was his genius here? That he decided to eat the frog later, and requested his Director to shoot the ‘old man’ scene first, followed by the ‘young man’ scene. He knew that eating and becoming fat was easy, but losing it would be very hard. And if he had no reason to look fit, he would just lapse off. Clearly, eating the frog later is also not that bad, but it must be eaten!

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In a tearing hurry

Steve Schwarzman is Blackstone Group’s Chairman and Co-founder. The company is worth some 100 billion dollars plus.

But he didn’t start out on top. In one of his first jobs, he was asked to take a printout of a presentation that he had made. This was to be used by his boss for an important client pitch.

Enroute to the client’s office, his boss realized that Steve had made a mistake in his calculations, and a big one at that.

To remedy the situation, his boss told him he could still manage the show, if Steve could just tear out all the even pages and leave only the odd ones. Simple enough, and Steve was relieved that he wouldn’t be the cause of a messed up meeting.

Except, that in the tension and anxiety of that moment, Steve tore out all the odd pages instead!

So it’s not all rosy, even for the best, even for those who have scaled Mount Success today. Just need to develop some thick skin, learn from our mistakes, and keep ploughing on.

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International Meatless Day – again?

Yesterday was International Meatless Day. But ideally every day should be this day. Not just one random day in the year. Kill and make merry 364 days, but celebrate one day for animals. Not a good way.

I wasn’t planning on continuing a post on this topic today. But I opened the Amazing Simple Gita written by my Guru just now and randomly chanced upon shloka 17 in chapter 18. Here’s what he has written, and so beautifully yet pointedly:

When we know that soul does not perish, when body perishes, what happens to the victims of violence, say animals? Who does justice to the 10 billion land animals that are slaughtered each year for satisfying our taste buds? Retribution by karmic laws takes place. The eater now becomes the eaten, and the eaten becomes the slaughterer. You may prevent for a while world wars. But hatred, violence, terrorism, all borne of selfishness, cannot be eliminated, and they replace wars. 

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International Meatless Day

Today is International Meatless Day. The 25th of November each year. I didn’t know about it till I read it in the paper. There was a thought provoking article by Dada JP Vaswani about this. Here are some excerpts, verbatim:

1. Reverence for nature is essential, including for the birds and bees, whom I love to call our younger brothers and sisters.

2. My vision of unity and fellowship and brotherhood is of a world in which the right to life is accorded to every creature that breathes the breath of life.

3. We cannot take away that which we cannot give and since we cannot give life to a dead creature we have no right to take away the life of a living one.

4. We cannot speak of dharma, we cannot speak of creation as one family until we stop the exploitation of animals – until we stop all killing! All killing must be stopped for the simple reason that if man kills an animal for food he will not hesitate to kill a fellow human being whom he regards as an enemy.

5. No nation can be free until it’s animals are free. We cannot call this world our own family until all forms of exploitation cease.

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Transitionary

Supple to firm to infirm.

Baby to youth to old.

Each one of us goes through this.

No exceptions.

Everything is short lived.

And still in this short time, we run after only short lived things.

Is this sensible?

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Cry me a river

Here’s a thought provoking para I read recently:

I also wasn’t used to being yelled at. My mother and father never raised their voices. If we did something wrong, they let us know about it, but they never screamed or shouted. I felt tears welling up and my face turning red and hot. I had to force myself not to cry. I said I understood, and we would do better in the future. As I found my way to the parking lot, I vowed to myself, This is never, ever going to happen to me again.

What is insane about this para is that it could happen to anyone. I’ve certainly felt like this before, and it almost feels shameful to think about.

But guess what? It is really common. This experience above? It’s taken from the autobiography of Blackstone’s founder Steve Schwarzman. This happened to him not when he was some just-studying lowly-intern who recently took up his first ever job. Nope. He’d already become very successful, and very rich, and had made an excellent name for himself. And still he had to face the ire of a client. Happens to the best.

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Little knowledge…

…is a dangerous thing, as they say. And this is absolutely true.

By the time he got to chapter 11 of the Gita, Arjuna thought he had an excellent understanding of how the Lord works. He had sat through much tougher chapters like 2 and 3 and 6. And so he felt he was ready.

He asked the Lord to show him His VishwaRoopa. He had seen the trailer and now he was ready for the movie, or so he thought. But to be fair, he had some doubt as well, which brought in some humility. He asked Krishna to show His VishwaRoopa only if He felt Arjuna was ready for it.

While the lesson in humility is superb for us, sometimes in real life, we need to take our chances (calculated risk as it is called).

As my Guru says, power is always taken, never given. So if we want to be successful in the material world, sometimes we need to ask and push our way through, because nobody is born a CEO.

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El Genioso

Everybody wants to be a genius. But not everyone is. Most aren’t. Wikipedia actually doesn’t even have a proper definition. It says there’s no way to quantify any thresholds on who makes it to genius and who doesn’t. IQ 200, and hence confirmed genius? Nope, no such thing.

In a podcast hosted by author and optimist Simon Sinek, he talks about how the word genius was originally not even a trait. The word came from ancient Rome, where genius was actually a good spirit that every human being was thought to be protected and guided by. So it was never “you are a genius” but that “you have a genius”. Along the way of course all this got corrupted.

Simon also posted this once:

The genius at the top doesn't make the team look good. A good team makes the person at the top look like a genius.

There’s no need to be a genius and lose sleep over it. Instead, it’s more important to be ge-nice, i.e. a nice human being.

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Cattywampus

The Cattywampus was one of the fiercest animals to roam the planet during the Ice Age. I’d not heard of it before, but it was an interesting read. There was a professor who taught his students about the now-extinct animal, and also conduct a spot test thereafter, asking various questions such as the Cattywampus’ color, type of fur, size, diet and so on.

Given all the facts were fresh in their minds, every student answered each question exactly as the professor had just taught. Each student expected a nice 10/10 marks.

But they were shocked when they each got a 0 instead. And so they protested.

The professor’s response? “Yes you answered what I taught, but you did not verify if any of it was true. There is no such thing as a Cattywampus, it’s simply a figment of my imagination!”

This story was featured in a 1991 edition of Readers Digest. Pretty cool way to remind us to each ask questions of the things we see around us. Especially on social media, where there is a lot of fake nonsense. Even Arjuna constantly cross-questioned Krishna. There is nothing wrong in the approach, as long as the questioning is not done from arrogance, but rather a desire to learn.

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Superhero

We all know the Indian version of Superman, Spiderman and Batman, because he is none other than Hanuman.

But why is he a superhero, and worshipped with so much love and affection by countless devotees?

Not just because he is macho or immortal.

But because, as the Hanuman Chalisa says, he is the one who has complete alignment of man-karam-and-vachan, ie, thoughts, words and actions.

When he thinks of Lord Rama, his words and actions are completely in sync with his beloved Master.

If only I had this superpower. I can barely even write one blog post completely before my mind wanders off somewhere, my hand instinctively looks to check WhatsApp, and the mouth opens not to speak but to pop some junk food into it 🙈

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Tyson’s fears – part 2 of 2

An afraid Mike Tyson is so uncharacteristic of him, one would think.

Sadhguru breaks this down masterfully.

He says that human beings are uncanny because they don’t need any external stimulus to be afraid, or happy or sad or angry. All of that happens within us. External stimuli might exacerbate certain emotions, but these emotions can very well spring up (and last) on their own.

For instance, we may think of an impending client meeting, and worry about how our performance will be. We may also use a reference of a prior meeting with the client, and add to the worry. But in reality, today where we are, neither the meeting from the past is happening now, nor is the meeting to be held in the future happening now. So we are afraid of something that isn’t even real.

Seemingly simple concept, but applicable to each one, especially if knockout-king Tyson himself has unexplained fears!

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Tyson’s fears

In a very interesting podcast with Sadhguru, the interviewer was the legendary boxer Mike Tyson.

Tyson starts off by asking, “Hey Sadhguru, why do you think I’m here today in front of you?”

To which Sadhguru thinks for a moment and replies, “Because you are afraid of something.”

And Tyson says, “Wow, yes, indeed I am afraid. I’ve got all the success in life, and yet I am afraid of something and I do not even know what!”

Can you imagine that? The great Mike Tyson, that no one would dare enter the ring against, is afraid?!

What is this about? Concluded tomorrow.

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50th best – part 3 of 3

This impact of the restaurant in question. How did they manage it going forward? What did they do better?

The owner, one Will Guidara, settled on something he called “Unreasonable Hospitality”, and who then further wrote a book on it as well.

One of the simpler examples he gives on the podcast with Simon Sinek is how he and his team figured out a way to know who is arriving at the restaurant, so that they are always greeted by their names. “Hi Mr and Mrs Smith, welcome to our restaurant.”, so that there is never any need to wait at the counter and give your name. Everyone loves being called by their name. But how do they know it’s Smith and not Roger or John or someone else? They’ve found a way!

Other examples include when a family from Spain had come to dine at their restaurant and never seen snow before. So the restaurant post-dinner booked an SUV to take them on a sled ride through Central Park. Another time, a couple’s flight for a vacation got cancelled and so the restaurant booked out their own private dining room, created a makeshift sand dump and water pool to mimic a beach experience.

Basically just going above and beyond one’s call of duty, and making the expieremce of working with a person just magical. The author says that each one of us can do the same thing at our own work, if we just spend some time to think about what would make the other person happy.

And oh by the way, I think the restaurant in subsequent years was rated not just 50th, but the first amongst those 50, so the best in the world!

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50th best – part 2 of 3

After coming in 50th best restaurant in the world, were they happy?

Not at all! Disappointed, disgusted, disoriented. That was how they felt. Because now they were not seeing themselves as the incredible 50th best restaurant in the world, but rather the last out of 50 restaurants.

Of course these feelings lasted only a short while. The restaurant owner was determined to figure out why they didn’t get a higher rank. After all, they had immaculate quality, taste, variety, service and what not. And yet, something was missing?

There certainly was. Impact. Social impact to be precise. Each of the other restaurants were contributing to society, making a real change, apart from their anyway class leading culinary impact. Donating to charity, supporting underdeveloped communities, lessening impact on climate change and so on. In order to separate the best from the rest, it isn’t enough to be good at work, but good at heart.

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50th best

Imagine you are a Michelin-star restaurant. You make dishes that others cannot even dream about. The skill in your cooking and adroitness in your plating are just so exceptional that even looking at you in action makes peers in your locality gasp in amazement.

But you aren’t happy. You want to be recognized on a bigger stage. And so you apply for the World’s 50 Best Restaurant awards (yes, there is such a thing apparently!).

What is the expectation? That you not just break into the 50-list, but also in style. Like maybe at number 20 or 12 or even top 10!

One similar super duper restaurant was talking about their own story, very similar as this. They waited with bated breath for the award announcement. And guess their rank?

Fifty! Yep, five-zero, fifty. Right at the bottom of the list.

What was their reaction? Concluded tomorrow!

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Center of the universe

What is at the center of the universe?

Is it our sun? Or is it some other planet? Or is it a black hole? Or is the center the Big Bang from which everything has been ever-expanding? Or maybe it is some other unknown galaxy or matter, that science has yet to discover?

Who knows.

But for all practical purposes, we each are the centers of our own universes. Every single moment of our lives, every hour, every day, we are constantly weaving intricate stories around our lives that have only one protagonist – we ourselves. If we can keep ourselves in the background, and bring others around us into the main scene, then we would likely make good spiritual progress.

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Knowledgeable, are we?

Found this in a newspaper clipping today. It was about the 5 types of knowledge, as mentioned in the Uttaradhyayana Sutra, which is an important spiritual treatise in Jainism.

1. Scriptural knowledge

2. Knowledge derived through the 5 senses + mind

3. Clairvoyance

4. Telepathy

5. Omniscience

The first two are alright. The last 3 are seemingly impossible, and logic-and-science defying.

And yet, we have all experienced these at some point. We know sometimes just a moment before that the phone is going to ring. Or that we are thinking of something that your friend is thinking about too. Or you have some intuition of something likely to pan out in a certain way, and it happens exactly like that. These stray incidents may be extremely rare and seemingly coincidental, but all our scriptures suggest that deep within us is present an extraordinary power for which even such ‘micracles’ are easy-peasy.

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Business matters

Some people say customer is king. That’s true.

Some others say employee is king. Haha, no no, nobody says that. Because employees are mostly treated as slaves. But imagine if they were treated as kings! Wouldn’t employees deliver 200%?

Or would they? Some might, but some would also misuse their position.

Some employers take really good care of their people. Even through times like Covid, they ensured everyone got paid, and that no one was laid off.

And then there are others that buyout companies, have insane amounts of wealth, and yet in the name of business profitability, kick out thousands of employees, almost as if on a whim. Some employers apologize, others not so much.

Nothing about any of these is illegal. But is it moral? Is it humane? What truly matters? One can only answer for themselves.

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Fundamentals of life

Here’s what Osho used to say are the fundamentals of life:

Remember, the ordinary person is the one who thinks he is not ordinary. The average person is the one who thinks he is not average.
The moment you accept your ordinariness, you become extraordinary.
The moment you accept your ignorance, the first ray of light has entered your being, the first flower has bloomed.
The spring is not far away.

What do we think of ourselves, as we go about our daily lives? As great accomplished people? Or as anxious, worried, stressed-out victims? Clearly, neither extreme is helpful. Average is beautiful.

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Teacher taught

Everything we learn in school is usually one-way communication.

Teacher teaches, student learns.

The more knowledge a teacher shares, the more knowledge a student learns.

In spirituality, it is a bit different.

The knowledge is already inside. Locked up and hidden. The teacher aka Guru comes about, and unlocks the hidden knowledge.

But for this, the Guru needs to be allowed near the student. Not necessarily physically, but especially mentally.

If the ego is a big wall, then no one can come near, not the Guru, not even God.

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Survivor

One person I met today, is a survivor. He’s a very accomplished person. And very rich too. Those who see him today, and don’t know him well, only know him by his wealth. Typical high-level understanding of other people.

This person had very modest beginnings. But persevered and worked hard and made it big.

Along the way, he lost his job and was left hunting for two years.

He was also a bystander in a bomb blast. Not the happy story that he “just escaped”, but he was hurt, quite badly. There were thousands of shards of glass that entered his body, which he says even today keeps reappearing from his body from time to time. When he was found at the explosion site, he had so many cuts and wounds and openings that doctors had to perform 5 hours of surgery and over a 100 stitches all without anaesthesia. Imagine the pain!

And yet this person is smiling today as though nothing happened. No cribbing that the universe conspired against him and what not. A lesson for me in how to handle tough times.

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“Leave your work behind in office”

We’ve all heard this as advice at some point, or even felt it personally. When work gets to us, when stress and anxiety from the workplace increase, we wish the option would exist to keep our personal and office lives completely separate.

The brilliant folks over at Apple TV created a mind-boggling TV show called Severance with exactly this premise. What if you could truly leave your work behind… at work?!

A couple of considerations on how it would play out practically, as portrayed wonderfully in the show:

1. We would literally have no recollection of work outside it, and ditto for home. Once the clock strikes 6 pm and you’re out of office, you won’t know what happens in office at all. Is this good?

2. Maybe not. Because your work self only knows work, it’ll mean one never gets out of work at all. Each day begins with you walking into the office (but from where, you’d never know, because that is a separate life), and each day ends with you walking out, without knowing where to. As far as your life is concerned, work and home have truly been separated.

Of course the show is much more nuanced than just this. But it is a sure starting point for anyone who thinks that the splitting of work and life brings immediate benefit. It does not!

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What is this ego?

“I” am the ego. And “I” am filled with pride and arrogance. This is what is ego, is what a simple Sanskrit to English translation would led one to believe.

But is that really it?

When our scriptures talk of ego, they are not referring to pride and arrogance at all. Yes those are bad qualities, but that is not the root cause.

When we say poornamadah poornamidam and give up all our ego to the Homa fire, what ego is that?

The ego here refers to the various identities that we have assumed. As father, as mother, as wife, as son, as daughter, as husband, as employee, as employer and hundreds of other such titles. Lord Krishna clarifies, there is no identity, only Brahman. The rest is maya.

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Rain rain come again

“How to get rid of attachments?” is an oft-asked question by spiritual seekers.

One senior satsangi recently said that we need to know what we are attached to in the first place, before we attempt to wean off them attachments.

So he provided a cool acronym called RAIN.

R for Results, so don’t be attached to the restults of whatever karma we do.

A for Action, so don’t be attached to the action either, like feeling very proud of oneself for going to satsang.

I for “I”, the real ego, putting myself above all else, which is the chief culprit.

N for Non-action, kind of like a counter-point to “A” above, because we can’t be attached to not doing something either. For instance, someone might not go to parties on weekends and feel great about themselves and begin looking down upon those that do go, and getting attached to that inaction.

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Can TGIF ever become TGIM?

Anyone who goes to office knows what TGIF is… Thank God it’s Friday! After a grueling week, the mental peace that Friday brings is just unparalleled.

But what of Mondays? They’re only ever associated with the color blue, as we well know.

Here’s two tips I got recently, to love work:

1. Work as a nimmita of the Lord, as an instrument. We are doing His grand work. So how can we feel tired, angry, frustrated or irritated? We have the opportunity to work for the Lord. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive for better pay or promotions and such. But whatever we are doing right now is but a prasad of the Lord.

2. Take the ego out of the work. Lose the identity. Not to be foolish, but prepared. This will inculcate risk taking ability, without worrying about whether you are presenting to a peer or a senior. How you can add value to your colleagues and your organization trumps the fear of what will happen to you if something doesn’t go well.

Of these two points, #2 done with #1 in mind can lead to outstanding results. It’s not whether TGIF becomes TGIM, but that there is always TG in our minds!

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Money flight

Money is awesome. But is too much money too awesome?

One of the world’s richest men and owners of one of the world’s most premium fashion brands, recently disposed off his private jet.

Wow. Everyone who thinks of being super rich someday surely dreams of owning their very own private jet. And here’s someone who’s giving it away?

No, it’s not an act of charity. But one of personal and corporate safety.

There are apps nowadays that can track all airline information, live and in real-time. And that’s what people had been doing of this gentlemen’s flights across the globe. They knew which country he went to for dinner, for a business meeting, for a personal meeting even. And so tata-byebye private jet.

So much money, yet no privacy. Is too much money too awesome?

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Back to back

There are two very critical ‘back’s in life. No its not like there’s a substitute back when one’s got back pain.

These 2 backs are essential for growth and success.

The first back is setback. We often only look for victory everywhere, but setbacks are a part and parcel of life. If there is no setback, we will never have the chance to learn and improve our game.

The second back is comeback. This is how we implement our learnings from the first back, i.e. the setback.

Taken together, setbacks and comebacks are an insanely powerful combination.

No need to fear setbacks because without one, we would never know how to do better. And there is no shame in comebacks, only honor.

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Selflessly sweet

There’s an Indian sweet dish named Rasgulla or roshogulla as the locals call it. It was invented in the city of Kolkata in India, back in the 1860s.

The sweet has two components, a white ball made of cottage cheese and an accompanying sweet brine. For anyone who has eaten this divinely indulgent dish, the sweet syrup and the ball are inseparable.

But did you know, that the very first version of rasgulla only had the white ball. No syrup. No liquid. No brine.

How did that come about then? Because of empathy!

The inventor, one Nobin Chandra Das, wanted to help quench the parched throats of his customers. They would often come to him on a hot day, and eating a dry ball of cottage cheese, no matter how sweet, would hardly be of help. So he added the brine. What a sweet gesture!

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Bob the algo?

There’s a lot of stuff we find online nowadays that is quite misleading. And if it’s written professionally, then it can be quite damn persuasive.

There are algorithms for everything. Some can read your SMSes and find out the One Time Password automatically. Some can read your emails and summarize all your credit card bills and expenses. Some algos can look through your search history and helpfully predict why you might need soon – groceries, spare parts, financing, medical supplies, you name it.

This is all done in the name of simplicity. And it has definitely made our lives simpler, no question about it.

But as one cybersecurity analyst commented, “just imagine that the word algo is replaced by some person’s name, say Bob”. Now suddenly Bob has all this information about you. How does that make you feel? Safe? Surely not. But this is indeed the case because there is little difference between an algo having all your personal info versus a Bob having it all.

Hence the need for us to be alert all the time. Like Lord Rama with his bow and arrow, ever watchful, ever ready. As one senior satsangi often remarks, he only prays nowadays for one thing – that he remain alert to the lures of the material world – one misstep, and the fall from the spiritual path can be steep.

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Family first?

This is not a political post, but simply a humanitarian one.

The current President of India is Droupadi Murmu.

This statement can just end there of course. But someone who didn’t know better could assume that this lady got there easily.

But nope, couldn’t have been harder.

She is from one of India’s most backward and underdeveloped communities. She also lost her husband, both her sons (one to an accident), her mother and her brother, all in the span of a few years. Losses that would have destroyed any other normal person.

But this strong lady continues to work selflessly for her country. And with a smile.

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Strugglers

All of creation is always struggling.

The deer wakes up and and starts to run, else it’ll be eaten by the lion. The lion wakes up and runs after the deer else it’ll starve

The deer and lion also have struggles within their own communities, for power, for mates, for kids, for food, for a home.

This is true of all animals, insects, plants, and all living organisms.

Humans are no different. But apart from all the external struggles, we also have internal enemies that we constantly struggle with. Insecurities, fears and weaknesses that prevent us from achieving our full potential.

Our scriptures recognize precisely this, and provide every conceivable solution to these struggles.

Our overarching struggle though? To even find the time or inclination to read the scriptures.

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ABCD people

A famous investor recounted his mother’s teaching on a podcast recently. Some parents are all about the marks and ranks for their kids. Others are a little more hands-off.

Said investor’s mother was cut from the second cloth. This was her thought process:

If A is the top ranked kid in school, and D is the bottom ranked kid, this is what will happen in (real) life.

The As work for the Bs. The Cs run companies, while the Ds have buildings dedicated to them.

Ponderable!

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Animal sacrifice – part 2

Who says that animals do not have emotions or feelings? That they are mere animals?

The second instance of animal sacrifice is of a baboon that is ostracised by its tribe.

When a leopard attacks one female baboon which has a new born baby, our man-baboon jumps into action. He literally drives the leopard away from atop a tree, single handedly. Leopard versus baboon, and the baboon emerging victorious? Wow I’d have never bet on that outcome!

As fate would have it though, the female baboon is unfortunately caught by a large python and crushed and swallowed in seconds.

The ostracised male baboon does not even bat an eyelid, before adopting the new born baby.

Soon, the leader of the baboon pack comes by and harasses and humiliates our hero, including urinating on him. But our guy doesn’t even flinch, else he risks the pack leader fighting him and harming the baby. But nope, not a flicker.

What a lovely series of sacrifices!

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Animal sacrifice – part 1

No this is not about sacrifice of animals at the altar as some blood ritual. Rather, it is about true sacrifice, in the animal kingdom.

In a BBC documentary called Serengeti, there are two outstanding sequences of sacrifice.

The first is about a hyena family. The queen hyena of the pack is also their chief hunter. She is not just a mother, but also a grandmother.

In order for her daughter-hyena to take her place as the new queen, the daughter will have to earn her status, including completing a successful hunt.

Given her lack of experience, the youngster chases the prey from behind, kills it, but also breaks one of her hind legs in the process. A pride of vicious black-maned lions smells blood and looks to attack and kill the daughter-hyena.

In one swift move, the queen hyena steps in, gives herself up, and is instantly mauled and killed by the lions. What an unbelievable sacrifice.

The second story, tomorrow…

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Les perishables

Chapter 7 of the Gita is an interesting one.

In verse 20-22, the Lord says that spiritual seekers can worship various deities. By following the specific rules related to these deities, they will get what they desire.

Then in verse 23, He mentions the words antavattu phalam. Anta is end and Phal is fruit. Taken together, the words refer to perishable desires.

The Lord is trying to convey only one simple truth here. That we should not be running after material desires. Why? Because they are perishable! Would you want to buy a shiny new sports car that you know would be junk in a year?

The 3 core components of life = vyakti, vastu, paristhithi = people, things and situations – all of these are perishable, and yet our desires only revolve around these.

What should we desire that is permanent then? Spiritual growth to reach the Lord.

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TV series

There’s a lot of random nonsensical crap on TV these days. All sorts of Reality TV that is totally unreal, and as scripted and fake as they come.

But there’s also some gems. We found two lovely shows recently.

1. Devlok by Devdutt Pattnaik, where Mr. Devdutt, an acclaimed author (and ex-doctor!) goes into amazing depth on Indian mythology and how to relate those to our daily lives.

2. Ramayana with Amish, where the author travels 5000 kilometers from Ayodhya in India to the tip of Sri Lanka and covers all the key locations visited by Lord Rama during his 14 year exile.

Surely there must be many more such lovely documentaries too. Do share good ones you’ve come across in the comments please!

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Love or enjoy?

Heard this in a talk show recently. The guest was asked about people spending more time in offices and working and it leading to burnout.

He said that it is indeed true.

So what to do?

You need to enjoy your job, not love your job. 

That was his advice. Why enjoy and not love?

Because he said love for one’s job brings attachment. Which then invariably leads to stress, anxiety and disappointment, especially when something doesn’t go as planned, when results are delayed despite efforts, or colleagues do not collaborate and so on.

Hence enjoy, not love!

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Tribhutis

Nothing much in the title, except that these are 3 examples of Vibhutis (glorious manifestations of the Lord) that Krishna mentions in Chapter 10 of the Gita.

1. Kamadhenu. Moo-moo, wow a wish fulfilling cow! Wish I had one! I’d get everything I want. But no, that’s not the point at all. It’s not about getting everything from the cow, but rather whether we can be like the divine cow – give (grant wishes) to others without expecting anything in return.

2. Lord Rama, personified with his bow and arrow. No, not as a great warrior, which he surely was, but rather signifying alertness. Alert we need to be, if we do not want to fall off the spiritual path.

3. Prahalada, the foremost devotee. His own father didn’t like him, and tried to finish him off. And yet Prahalad’s faith towards Lord Narayana only grew stronger. What do we do in the face of adversity?

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Ravana good or bad?

Was recently watching an interview of a Sri Lankan historian who said that Ravana to her and her people was a hero while Vibheeshana was a traitor. She supported her belief by saying the latter defected only because he felt insulted after being given the smallest and farthest of the 10 local kingdoms.

This would be completely the opposite view of anyone in India who has grown up reading the Ramayana. Ravana was obviously devout and skilled unlike any, but also supposed to have been brought down by his own ego. Vibheeshana however is eulogised for having stood by Dharma.

What to do in such cases where the stories themselves apparently contradict each other?

The answer is to not focus on the story or characters or who was the hero or villain but rather on the underlying message. Follow dharma, banish ego. This is the message of our scriptures, and the same is true of the mythological texts. That will be enough for us to know how to act when we are faced with tough circumstances and choices in life, because ultimately it’s all about our own inner transformation.

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Trincle trincle

The story goes, that after Lord Rama killed Ravana to free his wife Sita, he made a pit stop at Trincomalee (in Sri Lanka).

Why?

Because he had sinned. He had killed a learned and devout Brahmin.

To absolve himself of such a sin, he prayed to Lord Shiva at Trincomalee.

This is truly mind-blowing. God Himself finds the need to atone for his so-called sins. Which means there is no escape from karma, for anyone, as Krishna explains in the Gita.

Also an avatar of Maha Vishnu is praying to Shiva. The reverse happens too in various texts. Gods don’t have a problem with their statuses and hierarchies. Humans do.

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Is there a question here?

A star investor-cum-poker player once had an 82% probability of winning a hand. She was on the biggest stage of her poker life ever. And the prize money was the most she had ever played for too, and so, no pressure at all!

As luck would have it, she lost. It truly was a bad luck moment. From an 82% probability of winning to actually losing. Probability isn’t certainty, as we all know.

At the same event, she met a celebrity international-level poker player and said to him, “Damn it, that was such terrible luck. How I wish I was given a better hand to start with. I hate it when I encounter bad luck. I’m so unlucky”. To which the man simply replied, “Is there a question here?”

Needless to say, the lady was taken aback. And as she herself recounts later, the celeb-champ was not wrong. That guy was more than ready to discuss poker strategies and in-game tactics till the cows came home, but he was least interested in wasting time talking about things that were outside of his control (like bad luck). Nice lesson for me in my daily life!

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Chitrakoot

in Madhya Pradesh, India, was one of the places where Lord Rama stayed during his 14 year exile.

It’s astounding that certain elements in the true story still have found no answers to today.

Chitra means beautiful as a painting and Koot means mountain. How could someone stay inside a cave in a mountain for 11 years? Well there was a river that was flowing inside. Not the normal Godavari river, but one called Secret or Gupt Godavari.

Why secret? Because till today geologists don’t know where the water comes from and where it goes!

And there’s also a stream in there that brings fresh water that presumably Lord Rama drank. How would one know its fresh water? Because there are small fish in it!

Plenty of such unexplained miracles in India 😄🙏

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Special generalist

The Vibhuti Yoga chapter 10 in the Gita is truly special.

It starts off with the Lord giving examples of his manifestation in Creation. He gives 54 such examples, like Om, Sri Rama, Prahalada, Kamadhenu and others.

But the best example is towards the end of the chapter, where the Lord talks about Himself as being the Ultimate Vibhuti. How so? Because there is nothing else besides him!

Those who fight over the supremacy of their God over other’s Gods, would be reminded by Krishna that there is only God and nothing but God.

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Loud quitting – part 2 of 2

If a doctor has been giving simple cough syrup to cure someone’s cough, but later realizes that this is a deeper lung issue, of course the doc will have to quit giving cough syrup and progress to more potent medication.

If the workplace is really toxic, then what’s the problem in quitting? If there’s a better opportunity available, shouldn’t one take it?

There’s a concept in economics called ‘opportunity cost’ that exactly defines this, and businesses use it all the time. With a limited set of resources, how can you make the optimum use of the opportunity at hand? No matter what happens, if there are multiple opportunities, one or more will have to be sacrificed, and that is the cost of missing out. But it’s fine, we cannot do everything at the same time, all the time.

Quitting isn’t bad. It’s why one quits that matters.

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Loud quitting

There’s a whole “quiet quitting” movement that is going on in the corporate world. Employees don’t actually quit but they are so disillusioned with work, that they quit mentally. So they would not put in the efforts required and do a half hearted job perhaps.

There’s something about quitting in our world that just evokes the deepest of passions.

“How can you quit? Quitting is for losers. Tough people never quit.” Haven’t we all grown up hearing these?

This even exists with the greatest most successful folks. Nobody says they quit. They want to be seen as evolving, not quitting, even if it’s a tennis star keeping down her racquet or a footballer hanging up his boots.

Why is quitting so bad? More tomorrow.

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Sleep hack

We all surely experience times where sleep doesn’t come that easily.

Or maybe we wake up randomly at 2 am or such, and then keep tossing and turning, struggling to fall asleep again.

The first port of call for most? The mobile phone of course. And once that light hits the eye, sleep is only going to get delayed even further (science backs this up!).

But there’s another way.

Know how we usually do not find much time to meditate? Well why not meditate at such times when sleep isn’t coming?

I find this incredibly useful. One only needs to focus on the breath, slowly and calmly. At that time of night, usually all surrounding noises have died down. Peace prevails, and sleep will soon too.

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Om Aum ॐ

Om has a special meaning and significance in spirituality. Every satsang typically starts with chanting Om.

  1. Krishna Himself accords great importance to Om in the Gita chapter 10 Vibhuti Yoga. “Among utterances, I am OM” is what He says.
  2. Om is both word and symbol for the Lord himself.
  3. It also represents creation, being the very primordial sound and vibration of the original genesis. It is said that Om also pervades the universe today in the background.
  4. Om is everything and everything is in Om.
  5. Om is also ideal for meditation, to calm the mind down.
  6. Om is great for babies too, whether in the womb or outside.
  7. Om not only helps the mind to get aligned spiritually, but physicaly too, Om is said to activate all 3 parts of body. Aa-oo-mm, each syllable representing the lower, middle and upper portions of the body respectively.
  8. Om is also a beeja mantra, or a seed, that activates the the energy centres in the body.

Is there any scientific evidence for all this? Maybe not, but once experienced personally, no proof will necessary.

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Gardenia

We know this lovely story narrated by Ramakrishna Paramahamsa.

The exact same garden is visited by 3 different people.

Person 1 is a tourist, and marvels at all the colors on display.

Person 2 is a scientist and starts recalling the various biological names of plants and insects and counting the number of species present.

Person 3 is a staunch devotee of the Lord and sees the Creator Himself there manifested in the immaculate beauty and diversity.

Isn’t this such an outstanding perspective and example? Newton too was sitting in a garden when an apple fell on his head, and that too led to what is nothing less than a divine discovery.

There is indeed divinity all around us. In fact there is nothing else. We just need to acknowledge it and then accept it and then live it.

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How to increase devotion?

This is a common question with a simple answer.

It’s no different from devotion to anyone or anything else.

Love Bollywood or Hollywood or cricket or football? Why is that? Because of constant exposure.

What do we see on Instagram or Twitter or TV? What do we read about in the newspaper?

As we keep reading more and more about the glories of celebrities and sports stars, that only becomes a virtuous reinforcing loop.

The same thing is applicable to God as well. The more we read about Him and His leelas through various stories and scriptures, the more our devotion will become stronger!

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How to define God?

Notice how whenever someone who is a realized soul speaks about God, they only talk in a very generic ambiguous way?

Since I haven’t experienced anything myself, I have no clue how it will be. But this is where the analogy of the salt doll is appropriate.

Said salt doll wanted to test the depth of the ocean. Funny, no? So the salt doll jumped into the ocean, and instantly dissolved.

Can we say it reached the bottom?

Can we say it didn’t?

As Swami Chinmayananda once said, “to define God is to defile God”.

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What if learning causes problems?

Imagine a relatively young and new-at-his-field surgeon. Is that someone you want operating on your loved one? Absolutely not, isn’t it? Because what if he gets it wrong? He’s just a newbie, and you don’t want him using your loved one as a testing ground now!

How to think of this? By giving up the ego, it would seem! Here’s Master surgeon Atul Gawande in his own words in a superlative Adam Grant podcast:

Q: But one of the things I took away from that book was how important it is to be able to detach your ego from your mistakes and your failures. And you're now facing that at a much larger scale, knowing that if you fail to contain an outbreak, it could be thousands of people or hundreds of thousands of people who die. How do you navigate that?
A: This was during my training, where I had to learn on people how to do surgery. How do I claim that permission to have a learning curve? And the only way is by not pretending to be perfect, but instead to always be living up to the belief that I'm aiming for perfection and that I understand it's not just me, but a team of people that make it possible for me to learn effectively and safely and for a person who depends on the team to have confidence in the team in even if there is a learner on the team. 
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Old is sold

Many people start feeling old the moment they hit 30. Some feel old even before. “Oh no, my twenties are almost over!” they sigh.

Given the stresses and lifestyles of today, it’s not just the twenties that are receding, but hairlines as well. All sorts of garbage are sold in the garb of success.

That’s why it’s a pleasure to see what limits are possible. And this is not about fake limits set up on Instagram, showing extraordinary bodies shot in conditioned light. Nope.

I was reading about Olympic Champion Eliud Kipchoge, who recently broke his own world record running a marathon in just 2 hours 1 minute and 9 seconds. Outstanding feat. But I also liked what the 37 year old had to say about his fitness, both physical and mental.

"My legs and my body still feel young. But most importantly, my mind also feels young."
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Charity for all

So many people to give charity too. But there’s not enough money to give. Not for one middle-class person at least.

But what are we giving the money for? To help the other person? Or to feel good about ourselves? Perhaps both?

Neither is necessarily good or bad. Here’s a line from a spirituality column in a magazine:

Even the 'charity' given to the undeserving, the scriptures tell us, makes it tamasic and, therefore, harmful to the giver, to the recipient and society at large.

Wow pretty dire consequences it seems! Can we even begin to fathom who is deserving or not? Impossible.

That’s why it’s best to donate to the charity that the Guru has chosen.

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What the Carlyle Group founder says about adding value…

The 73 year old ultra successful billionaire investor and founder of the Carlyle Group, David Rubenstein, had the following to say when asked about what kind of projects he takes on or spends time on.

  1. Work on starting things that others aren’t able to start.
  2. Work on finishing things that others aren’t able to finish.
  3. Wherever possible, attempt to make tangible progress, rather than something that might or might not happen in a distant future.
  4. Give your time to your projects of choice, in addition to giving your money.

Isn’t this very instructive and insightful on how we each could look to prioritize our own times as well?

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2 types of passion!

Apparently there are two types of passion. Harmonious and Creative. This I came across in a podcast where the guest was none other than famed surgeon and author Atul Gawande. Here’s what he had to say:

"I'm gonna give you another framework that I work with on this. There are cycles of how the work works, and it's understanding those cycles. So surgery is a harmonious passion in a very straightforward way. I can go in to do a two or three-hour operation and I will get something done and I will lose sense of time. And it, I can't tell you what a great experience it is working with a team focused on doing something where everybody is skilled and, and working harmoniously together. But there is nothing creative about it. In fact, you're trying to be anti-creative. You're trying to do things the same way every time. What you accumulate are thousands of people you've taken care of and not necessarily something that builds something larger. Whereas writing or doing certain kinds of research work, that's six months of effort, not always harmonious. Painful. A learning curve every time, but at the end of it, incredibly gratifying. And I found my six month cycle of doing with the creativity added in is my sweet spot."

So interesting isn’t it? That’s probably why it always helps to have at least two or more passions to focus on. One can be our daily office jobs, while the other could be something more creative for the evenings. Worth trying!

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Want name, fame, money?

Here’s what I saw in the newspaper recently. Someone moderately famous had bought a house. A fairly big house.

Now for most people, that should be a private, intimate transaction. But the newspaper got wind of it. How? By looking through the property-tax papers that get filed alongside. Yes, apparently it’s a paparazzi thing-to-do now!

As if mention of this wasn’t enough, the article also proceeded to state that they were the first to break this news.

Still not enough? They also wrote that they tried reaching out to various members of that family, “but repeated texts and calls remained unanswered at the time of going to press”.

Is this what we are all chasing after? With great power comes great responsibility. But with great money comes great liability. Ironic isn’t it?

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I’ve got dual citizenship!

Well, well, congratulations are in order, aren’t they?

Who doesn’t want to hold two, or maybe even more, passports?

But I’m not alone. You’ve got dual citizenship too.

There’s two countries that we each keep traveling between. We belong to both. We always have. They are always with us, no matter what.

Our scriptures call them dwandvas. Dualities. Two sides of a coin. Pain-pleasure. Night-day. Sorry-Joy. Nothing is black or white, good or bad. Good leads to bad, and bad leads to good. That is nothing more than constant evolution.

For permanent ananda? We have to give up all passports. That will provide Universal Citizenship.

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Captain cool

We all know that MS Dhoni is Captain Cool. Boring, old news. Next item please.

Yes, but before that, I came across an article today that said that even the head coach of the Indian team, Ravi Shastri, cannot reach Dhoni directly on his mobile phone. Why?

Because Dhoni never shared his phone number with him! 😂

Funny, but also true. But beyond that too, was what really caught my eye. Dhoni apparently never carries his mobile phone with him.

In a world where everyone is constantly in a state of anxiety, wondering “what to multi-task on next”, here is a champion who switches off and lives in the present. Wish I could too do the sa…. (clicks on another notification to see a video sent by a friend on whatsapp)

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For the non-believers

There’s always a raging debate about whether God exists or not.

Has He created everything around us? Are we responsible for our own fate, and did we each land on this planet and into this family and unique circumstance just by chance?

“It’s all just a random coincidence.”, is what the non-believers will say.

And that’s where the debate begins.

But why debate at all? Lord Krishna clearly says that only 1 in millions will even begin to appreciate true Divinity. If you are that 1 in many millions, why spend time and effort trying to convince others?

Everyone’s time of awakening and understanding will come, either in this life, or after many more.

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Yes before what?

A cool bit of advice I came across.

"If you are below 40 years of age, say Yes to everything. After 40, start saying No."

This is so interesting. Why?

Because most youngsters are still figuring out what they want to do, what they like, what their passions are, what they truly enjoy, where they find “flow” and so on.

The more we say Yes, the more opportunities we may get to experience and explore what we may end up liking.

Not to take this to the extreme of course – that we just keep saying Yes even to stupid things.

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Angry turd

No one likes angry people. Except the angry ones themselves, who feel great, in the heat of the moment. And these angry people aren’t other people, but rather each one of us, and specifically me. Guilty as charged folks!

It’s not necessary that angry people only show their anger outwardly. Sometimes the rage can be simmering on the inside for a very long time. One day that volcano might erupt.

What’s the opposite of being angry? One would say it is being peaceful. Maybe, but while being angry is seen as being active and assertive, being peaceful is seen as being passive and suppressed.

That can’t be further than the truth. Being peaceful is a positive and active state of consciousness. True strength is when our inner peace is completely unruffled, no matter what the external stimulus is.

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Good loses to bad

Good people finish last right? Except in Hollywood at least. There’s no heroes with capes in real life it may well seem.

But here’s one perspective I came across recently that was pivotal.

It’s not just good versus bad, but also active versus passive.

As Krishna always says in the Gita, there is no room for inaction. This is not different from saying there is no room for being passive.

Doesn’t mean that one must always give up common sense and keep on doing something wasteful just in order to be seen as active.

But when good people are passive, little gets achieved. Contrast that with bad people being active. And therefore the importance of good people being active!

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Pass the ion

The entirety of the Gita can be divided into just 3 words, if we go by what is in verses 10 and 11 of the 10th chapter.

What are these 3 words?

  1. Passion – which is how we should be working, with passion, aka karma yoga
  2. Compassion – the way the Lord looks at us, the way our Guru looks at us
  3. Dispassion – which is vairagya, or living unattached. Not uninterested, but disinterested.

What a brilliant triad isn’t it?!

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Remembrance when?

Sant Kabir has this amazing couplet:

Dukh me sumiran sab kare, Sukh me kare na koi
Jo sukh sumiran kare, Dukh kahe ko hoye kabi

When do people look to the heavens? Only when things are going wrong of course.

Sant Kabir says, that if we remember God when we are happy instead, then there will be no sorrow in the first place!

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Real career advice

Most people are looking for this. And are yet hardly finding anything relevant to them.

And so I chanced upon an article that explained this really well. Here are the main points from there:

  1. Your career is not your life.
  2. Explore, then exploit.
  3. Don’t do the job you want to tell other people you do. Do the job you want to do.
  4. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself about what you value—and how much professional success matters to you.
  5. Flow comes from voluntary, difficult, and worthwhile work.

The full article can be read here at this link. Enjoy!

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How to be an awesome learner?

The world is changing fast. Progressing at an amazing pace. And with that, elders, seniors, those with more experience, whatever you may call it, are getting disrupted. Not just technology but people itself. Pretty much everything I studied in college or university many years ago, is all obsolete. Poof. Gone.

How to survive then? Only by learning constantly. There is no other way. And the best way to learn is to look at Arjuna for tips. Learn from the best learner himself.

What are his attributes?

  1. Being a very patient listener, having sat through 18 Gita chapters with Krishna
  2. Ensuring he understands everything correctly, by asking relevant questions, and
  3. Implementing everything he listens to and understands

Simple, but not easy…

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Working for who?

Was sitting through a CSR-activities presentation recently. You know, Corporate Social Responsibility, that most companies try to do.

Apparently in many cases, they just donate money to funds, and then hope that their donation takes care of bad things in society. It’s not a bad approach, but this presentation I was sitting in was unique.

They were not bothered about overall money donated. Rather, they were focused solely on true impact, even if it meant improving the life of just 1 person.

And what was even better was how they were going about it. While they were donating a large sum, the actual projects to which the money would go were being crowd-sourced or maybe villager-sourced. Why? Because only the villagers knew what their real problems were, and so this was a lovely case of paying attention to the details and listening to the problems faced by those in need. Such a nice way to think about this!

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Big boy

Heard this in an amazing speech recently. A man was struggling with his child’s habit of scribbling on the walls in his home.

When the man caught his son doing it the first time, he shouted and said, “Are you stupid or what? Don’t you ever do that again!”

Sure enough, two days later, the boy was back to scribbling on the walls.

Why? Because his pride didn’t let him give it up. Nobody likes to be intimidated, not even a little boy.

The next day, the father tried a different tactic. When he caught the kid drawing on the wall again, he called him near and said, “Sweetie, come here, don’t do that, you are big boy now.”

And the boy never did it again.

What we say matters. But how we say it matters more.

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Follow your passion?

Does this really work? We’ve all heard it a million times. How to be successful? “oh, just follow your passion”

Most of us don’t have the liberty of following our passions. Loan repayments and other financial considerations seem to always get in the way.

What to do then?

No need to fret, because Mark Cuban, the billionaire investor on Shark Tank had a cool thing to say on a recent podcast.

“Don’t follow your passion, instead follow your effort.”

Isn’t that just radical? We all put in great efforts in our own fields of work. We spend hours and hours. Why not make that count, rather than fretting about passions?

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3 factor model

Was speaking with a friend who volunteers with anti-cybercrime elements. “How cool!”, I’d told him the first time I found out. He said he himself had been the victim of cyber fraud and lost money. And hence he decided to help others who might be in a similar predicament.

The coolest part of whatever he told me was his understanding of why people fall prey to such cyber attacks. 3 things he said, in Hindi:

  • Darr (fear)
  • Laalach (greed)
  • Aalas (laziness)

They didn’t all make sense to me, so I asked him for an explanation. He said the fear was not fear of the fraudster, but the fear of missing out! The scam looks so juicy that you don’t want to be left behind. The greed angle is obvious. The laziness aspect is that we may be too bored to report some wrong doing.

The 3 factors are also what in many ways keeps me complacent in my wordly life, not pushing through as much in the spiritual path as one should.

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GGG

There’s 3 Gs we need to catch hold of very tightly for spiritual progress.

1. God

2. Guru

3. Gita, aka our scriptures

These in isolation won’t help much unless they are bound by our own self-effort. We will have to ourselves go through the Grind, which can be the fourth G in this package.

God-Guru-Gita-Grind

That’s about as clear as it gets!

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Kohinoor is who’s?

After the recent passing of Queen Elizabeth, there are a number of people who have begun questioning the true ownership of the Kohinoor diamond, housed in the Tower of London.

Does it belong to Britain?

Does it belong to India?

Should it be returned?

There are 100s of views and articles and debates and opinion pieces.

The real question should be, “What is the real Kohinoor?”, because the true Kohinoor is inside each one of us.

And to identify and excavate this real Kohinoor, we need the help of another Kohinoor, our Guru.

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Serial-cribber

There’s this guy I met the other day.

He was sitting at his desk – the front desk.

He seemed really bored, and was watching some video on his phone.

“How irresponsible”, I thought to myself. “Sitting at the front desk of an office and watching videos”.

I casually asked him how he was and what he was upto. He said he had been at the job for a year. He needed the money desperately to make ends meet. I enquired about his work timings. 8 am to 8 pm he said.

“5 days a week right?”

“No sir, I have to come on Saturdays and Sundays as well.”

Imagine that, no weekends off, no breaks, just an insane 7 day work week, and that too for a pittance. I couldn’t see him complaining though. He was doing what needed to be done, and with a smile. A good lesson for the serial-cribber in me.

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Here’s some feedback for you

How many of us like to take feedback? Especially if it’s not good feedback?

We may have spent hours and days and weeks working on something, only for someone else to come and peepee all over it with their comments.

Obviously handling such a situation can be very hard.

But this is where successful basketball and NBA coach has the following to say:

Average Players want to be left alone. Good players want to be coached. Great players want to be told the truth.

This is surely applicable off the court as well. Do we want to be left alone? Or be told the truth, so that we have every opportunity available to improve?

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Missed alive

What is more important, work or family life?

That’s a trick question, because both are important, as we well know.

Balancing both is very difficult, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

I came across the story of a celebrated author who was writing his best ever book yet. He was so engrossed in the book, that he forgot everything around him, family included.

He unfortunately passed away while writing the last chapter. His wife said this after his death:

"I do miss Larry, but it's not like he was here even when he was alive"

Is that how we want to be known?

As one of my mentors always says, it’s never work-life balance, but always work-life choice.

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The root cause of all problems

One of the most iconic and revered money managers of all time is Charlie Munger. He is better known as the Vice Chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, which is the conglomerate run by another billionaire investor Warren Buffet.

Warren is 92 years old, while Charlie is 98, and so both these men have seen pretty much everything there is to see, from a life point of view.

In a recent speech, Charlie noted something very profound. He said that humanity’s problems do not stem from greed. Rather, they stem from envy.

We just need to think a little about this to understand it’s significance. In absolute terms, all of the world’s human beings are better off today than say a 100 years ago. Many essentials of today like gadgets and appliances and healthcare and peace so on were luxuries even just a century ago. But why are we still not happy, despite being better off?

The answer is because everyone else is also better off. We are not better off than others. The mind always wants to compare and see if we have won, if we are ahead, if we own more. Envy is the name of the game. Envy is also the thief of happiness.

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What to renounce? – part 3

So what is sattvika renunciation? That is doing one’s prescribed duty but giving up attachment and fruits.

So I do the work as though my life depended on it, but then do not worry about the results as if I know I’m going to live peacefully anyway.

Can this be confusing? Yes very, and so my Guru has provided various examples in his Amazing Simple Gita in chapter 18 verse 9’s purport:

  1. Manager forgiving the subordinate when the latter is not doing his work is foolishness and has nothing to do with the former’s Sattvik renunciation or prescribed duty
  2. It is foolishness to say it is alright that I did not get my bonus. What you need to do is to ask for and get your due share and then do charity out of it
  3. Doing self improvement workshops for students is the right thing and our prescribed duty
  4. We are duty bound. Duty has bound us, no escape, and so do duty the sattvika way
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What to renounce? – part 2

Here are some examples provided by my Guru in the chapter 18 verse 8 purports related to incorrect renunciation, and I’ve paraphrased them, so any inconsistency is purely my error in understanding:

  1. For an agnihotra or fire worshipper, it doesn’t matter how they light the fire – whether by rubbing sticks or by lighting a match. Using an easier way (the matchbox) doesn’t make this wrong. What matters is the worship and mental state during worship.
  2. Wearing skimpy clothes or wearing 9 yards sari – neither is the former a sign of spiritual delinquency nor the latter a sign of spiritual progress. Outer paraphernalia have nothing to do with purity of the mind. “These vast changes in the world are only on account of the Lord’s wish to remove miseries of the oppressed class called women”.
  3. Bringing food for puja, ordering from outside on account of strain cannot entirely be construed as rajasik. If lethargy or wealthy comforts are involved, yes it is rajasik.

Eye opening aren’t these? What then is sattvika renunciation? More tomorrow…

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What to renounce? – part 1

Some people are very practical renunciates. What did they renounce? Karela, or bitter gourd 😂

Most people don’t like it anyway, so it’s amongst the easiest things to renounce. Like a shortcut on the spiritual path almost. But is it so?

Nope.

My Guru in chapter 18 verse 7 of the Gita clearly states that renouncing in ignorance is tamasik.

He follows up with verse 8, where he says that renouncing for fear of physical strain is rajasik. Like if I hate going to work, and have Monday morning blues, and decide to just sit and home and not work at all, that is rajasik renunciation.

The only correct way to renounce, is the sattvik way. More tomorrow.

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Education is what?

Is having a degree the same as education or being educated? I was reading a book by Steve Schwarzman, the CEO, co-founder and Chairman of Blackstone Private Equity, and here’s what he has to say:

I believe that education is a discipline. The object of this discipline is to learn how to think. Once we have mastered this we can use it to learn a vocation, appreciate art, or read a book. Education simply enables us to appreciate the ever-changing drama fashioned of God’s own hand, life itself. Education continues when we leave the classroom. Our associations with friends, our participation in clubs all increase our store of knowledge. In fact, we never stop learning until we die. My fellow ocers and I just hope that you will become aware of the purpose of education and follow its basic tenets, questioning and thinking, for the rest of your life.

The author has a bunch of credentials and degrees under his belt, but so do many others. Not everyone is as successful or has given back as much to society. True progress is perhaps in constantly learning and applying.

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Hide it!

In a recent podcast on analyzing the traits of successful people, there was a radical point of view.

Everyone says successful people and especially leaders, need to be humble.

The common question is, if someone is humble and soft spoken and down to earth and approachable and all that, that’s great, but does such a person have what it takes to really be aggressive and win in life? Effectively, this can be rephrased as, “Ego isn’t good for relationships, but ego is critical to success”. Because ego is what pushes people to succeed, so they feel like they achieved something, or that they achieved more than others and such.

Our scriptures say we should lose the ego altogether, which is important of course, but from a spiritual point of view. Would this work in the cut throat world we live in? Maybe not, especially if not used properly, because we can’t expect everyone in our work-environment also to have read the scriptures and abide by it. Hence the interesting view in the podcast, that successful people have egos. However, they keep their egos hidden. So it super charges them on the inside, while still keeping them approachable and down to earth!

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Educated guess

When someone says they are educated, what is it that comes to mind?

School, college, university, 12th grade, board exams, coding, chemistry, MBA, Harvard, Stanford, MIT, IIT, IIM, doctor, lawyer, engineer, CAT, UPSC, JEE. These could be a few of the top ones.

All good.

This is indeed what education means today.

What about character building? What about spirituality? Self discipline? Values of love, truthfulness, goodness and nobility?

But is this all?

Today’s education is mostly about living off of others, one-upmanship – always gaining something at someone else’s expense, always wanting more. More and more. The wants never stop.

True education is in our scriptures. They teach us that we should live not for ourselves, but for others.

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Inner voice

There are many spiritual people I’ve come across who have said their meditation takes them to different higher planes. Ones where they get messages from their own Gurus, or where they get answers to questions, learn about karmic exchanges for others, see the future and so on.

I’ve myself seen none of these. I find it difficult to even sit in one place, let alone meditate and keep my mind fixed.

So I asked one of said spiritual people recently about why I have no such divine talent. His answer was relevant and encouraging.

He said to me, “I’m a spiritual healer. So whatever I experience during my meditations or thoughts helps me in my work. In your case too, you would be getting messages to help you, in your own line of work. Maybe you are creative at work, or while making a presentation or in the speed at which you find solutions to problems and so on. All of this is your intuitive power, which is nothing but divinity. If you see it this way, it will only continue to increase.”

We all have this inner voice, but we probably do not pay much attention to it.

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Instant K

2 cases of instant karma last week. One at the airport, and the other on the flight after that.

At the security check line, one fellow was creating a ruckus. Some folks no matter how educated, just don’t know how to stand in line. He was called out by those in line, but he just shouted at them and cut through to the front towards the security person (the ones that check were carrying no metallic objects). The authorities saw his behaviour, realized he had forgotten to put his waist belt into the machine, despite there being no need to remove the belt there, yet they sent him back, and this time he had to go right to the start of the line!

Inside the flight, another gentleman (not so gentle actually!), fairly old, was shouting at an air hostess because he wanted to keep his oversized bags in the cabin storage above his seat, while there was no space to store those. He could have been polite, but no. He sat down, shouted some more and then suddenly got up, only to bang his head on the low ceiling.

Instant karma served as deserved? Who knows how these things work 🤷🤷‍♀️

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Caste away

There’s a lot of confusion about the caste system today as presented in the Gita.

My Guru’s purports, found in Chapter 18 verse 7, are very clear.

  • Traditionally prescribed duty is fixed by caste of birth.
  • Firstly, caste by birth has no validity today. Also changed times require changed interpretation.
  • Earlier, prescribed duty for women was cooking and household work.
  • Today both man and woman work and earn.

Isn’t this super clear? We are in a merit based society. We’ve to work and earn our successes.

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Gunas and roses

A lot of the Gita happens in threes. The most common threes are the gunas. Sattva, Rajas and Tamas.

In some of the chapters, the Gita goes into the most excruciating detail on these 3.

Like how to work, divided into three gunas. How to eat, divided into 3 gunas. How to give – you guessed it – also divided into 3 gunas.

Why is this happening?

Because Lord Krishna states clearly that purification of the mind happens only when we are in Sattvik mode.

And how would we know what is Sattvik, until everything is cleanly categorized into one of the 3 guna variants? That’s the reason for this excruciating detail, and seen in this light, it’s not excruciating at all.

Now that we know this from Krishna himself, its up to us to act accordingly. Roses await.

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Mandatory rituals

There’s a lot of people who will tell you when and how to do what. Like don’t pray facing this direction. Don’t prostrate in that direction. Don’t chant without taking bath. Don’t eat with that hand. And on and on.

Are these rituals or rules important? Yes, very much, but…

But, standalone, these rules are meaningless. As my Guru states very clearly in chapter 18 verse 3 of the Amazing Simple Gita, all these external rituals are only important to overlap a clean mind. If the mind is not clean and purified, then all these external rituals have no meaning.

Here is His outstanding example in the purport:

Again this purification is superficial, if the Knowledge of Reality is lacking. Each time the mind is purified, it is like dusting our veranda. The next day, the veranda has new dust. Only when the windows and doors are shut tight will new dust not accumulate. 
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Inner Strength gives what?

If you believe in what our scriptures tell us, then we are not just an accumulation of body-mind-intellect, but rather are divine beings at the core. Not just this, but said divine beings are no different from God Himself/Herself.

If God is within us, then are we tapping into this infinite energy resource whenever things seem to be going south?

Like if we get angry, we might just shout and yell and become red and huffy puffy. Or maybe we can dip into our inner divinity, take a moment, think about our true purpose. What would that divine being inside us do? Is that divine being even concerned about whether someone else thinks less of you?

If we feel nervous about a new beginning, do we just sweat and worry? Or can we tap into that infinite reservoir inside, and calm ourselves down. Because what could possibly go wrong that a divine soul itself cannot see or fix?

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CWG – part 3

Blood, sweat and tears is often used loosely by white collared folks when they’ve achieved something after a lot of struggle. The sweat and the tears may well be true. But the blood part? Not so much.

Not that it has to be. Imagine getting a small cut on the finger or a hair pull on the scalp or a mouth ulcer. That pain is felt throughout the day.

But imagine having a dislocated shoulder, or intense cramps, or stitches on the knee. And then imagine going on to win a medal on the world stage. Quite exceptional isn’t it? All that and more happened this time in these games.

The question I asked myself is, should I find ways to complain, or solutions to problems?

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CWG – part 2

Adversity is a good thing not a bad thing. Problems aren’t bad, they’re good, because they help us grow and evolve into better human beings. We don’t need to actively seek problems out, but if they come our way, we needn’t lose our minds.

In the recent Commonwealth Games, the weightlifting gold winner in one of the categories had faced unbelievable adversity. His father died when he was 10, and the man had been a rickshaw puller – so it’s not like he left his family rich. The boy worked as a farm labourer and a part time embroidery worker, eventually getting to weightlifting gold. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that journey would have been.

Other medalists had parents who were paan sellers, tea sellers, lorry drivers, landless farmers and the like. Such a hard upbringing.

Having too much can be a bad thing. Check out this tweet.

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CWG part 1

The recently concluded Commonwealth Games saw India put up a good show. I can’t even begin to imagine how much discipline and focus it must need to get to a level where one can win a medal in a competitive sport and that too at an international level.

Years and years of single minded focus on one goal – to be the best at the sport you have chosen.

Quite incredible then, when I found the winning team of a sport I had never heard of before (lawn bowls) was made up of individuals who all began as sports professionals in – wait for it – other sports!

The captain of the team was a kabaddi player. Her teammate was a weightlifter. A third one was a cricketer and the fourth a sprinter.

For one reason or another, they couldn’t push ahead in their original sport-of-choice, but they didn’t let that derail their hopes of a medal. Who cares which sport it comes from? Just like success, who cares which field it comes from?

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Uketamo

This term, Uketamo, is a new one that I came across recently.

It is the core philosophy followed by the Yamabushi, who are mountain dwellers in Japan.

Uketamo means, “I humbly accept with an open heart.”

Was expecting a promotion or bonus or wonderful party at home or kids’ exam topping results or spouse’s career advancement or whatever else – but, that didn’t happen? No problem at all, because, “Uketamo”, which means, I humbly accept with an open heart.

What is Uketamo doing here? It is teaching us to accept that which we cannot change. Doesn’t mean we should try or put in our best efforts. But despite all that, sometimes things don’t work the way we think they should. In such cases, it’s okay. Just take a deep breath and Uketamo!

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God alone knows?

How difficult is it to attain moksha? Very hard. How difficult is it to attain moksha in this very life then? Infinitely more difficult. But as my Guru always says, “Difficult, but possible.”

In the Katha (Story) Upanishad, a young Nachiketas asks Lord Yama about the Secret Divine Knowledge which is the True Purpose of life. Since Yama had granted Nachiketas a boon, he had no option but to give him this Knowledge.

But Yama also tried at first to distract Nachiketas away from his question. He told him, that even the Gods don’t know about this Divine Secret, so why is a small boy asking questions on these lines!? But Nachiketas was adamant.

And so Yama beautifully explains the True Nature of ourselves and how we should choose the path of Shreyas over Preyas.

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The guaranteed setup for success

It’s common knowledge to think that success comes from hard work. But does this make sense, is hard work sufficient, and what does hard work even mean really? Is 10 hours of working every day hard work? Or 12? Or 20?

More than hard work, it’s probably important to have a mindset that is hard. There are two separate but simple and related things I came across while reading something today.

One was on problems, and how we all try our best to run away from them. But if we think back to every single problem we each faced in our lives, then we would realize that every iota of growth and success actually came from surmounting these same problems. So does it make sense to run away from problems?

The other was on what’s being taught to kids. Opulence and cornucopia. Kids born even into middle class families today are pampered with every possible luxury, both tangible and intangible. Success comes from the ability to fight despite all odds. But with all odds in their favor since a very early age, how can they be expected to fend for themselves?

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The essence of Krishna

Krishna tells us to do and follow a lot of things via the Gita. But here’s how Krishna himself followed these (suggested) rules in such a cool manner:

  1. He is always cheerful. His life has been one chock a block full of problems – demons, enemies, asuras, his own people, his birth itself into a poor family etc. But he is ever smiling, even on the Kurukshetra battlefield!
  2. He has zero expectations. Why did the Pandavas fight the war? To get back their kingdom. Why did the Kauravas fight the war? To retain the kingdom they had usurped. Why did Krishna fight the war? Only for dharma, as he would have got no material possession either by winning or losing the war.
  3. He exemplified non-attachment. He was born in Mathura, raised in Vrindavan, lived later in Dwarka. He never kept cribbing that he misses his home town and that he wants to go back. So many people come and go from his life but he was always unattached.
  4. He personifies love. Never once would he not come to the rescue of his devotees.

Krishna led by example. We must only try to follow whatever little we can.

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Advertising

Here’s an advertisement in the newspaper that I came across recently. I honestly had no clue what it was talking about until I turned the page to see the picture of the actual product. Can you guess?

Snowflake hallmark since 1969. Manufacture calibre. 70-hour weekend proof power reserve. Silicon hair spring. COSC certification and Master certification from METAS.

I seriously had no clue! But that’s also how our scriptures are. The same line would with be pregnant with meaning when my Guru reads it, whereas when I read it, I can probably not make out anything more than a few words strung together 😂

Okay in case you were wondering, this ad was for some premium wrist watch collection.

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Self discipline

We may know what the right thing to do is, and yet not do it when the time comes.

Elbert Hubbard, the American writer and philosopher who lived in the 1890s had this to say:

Self discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do and when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.

Truer yet harder-to-implement words were perhaps never spoken.

Elbert goes on to say:

There are 999 other success principles I have found in my reading and experience, but without self-discipline, none of them work. And with self-discipline, all of them work!
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How to keep a positive attitude?

We know that “attitude is everything”. There’s even a book with exactly this title. People say you can change your life and your destiny if you change your attitude. But how to do this?

Shivani Didi of the Brahma Kumari group has some tips that she talks about in her videos:

  1. Read something spiritual or read positive books for 30 minutes within the first two hours of your day
  2. Do not read newspapers (or any negative information) at least till lunch time every day
  3. Do not watch any negative or sensational stuff on TV either in the morning or within two hours of bedtime
  4. Associate with those who have a positive attitude, and keep away from habitual grumblers
  5. Stop complaining, and instead appreciate all the positive things around you

So cool isn’t it? And not that tough to follow!

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Taxiing

Heard a real-life experience from a friend who visited Singapore as a tourist with his family. The cabbie who picked them up was super friendly and a genuinely nice person. His only aim? To ensure his just-landed clients have a wonderful and memorable stay. Some of the things he did for this?

  1. Going out of the way to suggest places to shop, visit, eat and sightsee.
  2. Putting Hindi music in his car even though he himself couldn’t understand the language.
  3. Gifting my friend’s daughters barbie dolls on the last day as they headed back to the airport. Why? Because the two girls had been chatting about Barbies a lot the prior few days!

To me, this is karma yoga, doing one’s duty to the best of their ability. It is very easy to be dull and morose and conclude that “I’m only a taxi driver, what can I do?”

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Prayer showers

A lovely Sanskrit couplet I came across recently.

आकाशात् पतितं तोयं यथा गच्छति सागरं।
सर्व देव नमस्कारः केशवं प्रति गच्छति।।

AkAshAt patitam toyam yathA gachchati sAgaram ।
Sarva deva namaskAraH keshavam prati gachchati ।।

It says, that just like all the rain water eventually ends up in the ocean, so too all prayers to various deities eventually end up at the feet of Keshava (i.e. the One Creator, whatever you may choose to call Him).

My Guru says it is very important to have an Ishta Devata, a personal favourite deity. But no matter who you pick and pray to, this? shloka gives clarity on where the message ends up ultimately!

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Forgetting the past

We’ve all faced tough situations in the past.

Some situations are so tough and grim and mentally draining, that even weeks, months or years later, the after effects play (and prey) on us.

And these instances bring down our productivity and efficiency in the current moment.

Which is why I love the story of the two Holocaust survivors. Both had just gone through the worst times in their lives. When they were finally free, one chap was ecstatic, while the other was revengeful (understandably so).

The latter just could not understand the former’s ability to remain peaceful. “You just got out of that prison, and were treated in the worst way possible and yet you are so calm?”

“Yes”, he replied. “We are both apparently free now, but mentally you are still in that prison. Is that what you want?”

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My only interest

One of India’s ace investors, Mr Rakesh Jhunjhunwala (RJ), lovingly called the Big Bull, passed away recently.

While a lot was said about his investing prowess, one exchange between his father and him stood out for me.

When Mr. RJ had setup a foundation in honor of his dad to give back to society, this is what his father told him:

"I have no interest in your wealth. I only want to know how much tax you have paid, and how much charity you have given."

All the focus was on giving back, one way or another. Noble thoughts!

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Positive reinforcement

Imagine you just concluded something important. It’s now time for feedback. Self-feedback.

There are just two questions to ask.

The first is, “What did I do right?”

The second one would obviously be, “What did I do wrong?”

But no, there’s a better second question. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, we could ask “What should I do differently?”

The outcome of the two variations of the second question is the same. But the way it is phrased makes all the difference. The best part? Both question 1 and variation 2 of question 2 will be positive reinforces. Neither doom nor gloom!

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Is there MORE than one type of wealth?

We’ve all heard of the book Atomic Habits. Brilliant book written by a no doubt brilliant author, James Clear.

Given his surname, you’d expect that he has clarity in life – and boy does he not disappoint.

I’ve always equated wealth with money, and never thought about it much beyond that.

But that’s no fun is it? So Mr. Clear has clarified (what a bad pun I know) that there are 4 types of wealth:

  1. Financial wealth (aka money)
  2. Social wealth (aka status)
  3. Time wealth (aka freedom)
  4. Physical wealth (aka health)

It’s good to run after wealth to an extent. But are we running after all 4? Or just the first one, maybe the second?

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Kaun banega crorepotty?

The winner of one of the regional versions of Who Wants to be a Millionaire went from pussycat to lion to starving dog.

After winning the grand prize, our man was hounded by the media. Not for a few days, but for a few years. More like 5. Interview after interview, and ad after ad. He began spending out of pocket too. Plenty of fake stories were published about him. His education took a back seat. He made large donations, and was often taken for a ride on philanthropic reasons. At the end, he was pretty much back on the road. Did I mention his wife left him?

Money money money. We want to have it in the billions. But are we confident we can handle all that comes with it?

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National Sales Stats say THIS!

Came across these insane stats in a book recently. The stats are from the National Sales Executive Association.

  1. 48% of salespeople never follow up with a prospect
  2. 25% of salespeople only make a second contact and then stop
  3. 12% of salespeople make more than three contacts
  4. 89% of sales are made on the fifth to twelfth contact

The first 3 stats taken together, and then seen in the light of the 4th one… Wow, quite the mindblower!

What does it mean? That most people never follow up, and even if they do, they simply take ‘no’ for an answer and move on.

But a salesperson has got to be persistent and consistent, and that’s why nearly 90% of sales happen between the 5th and 12th contact. Isn’t this not just remarkable, but also applicable to all of us, no matter whether we’re in sales or not?

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Smack

SMACS 0723 is the name of one of the galaxies in our universe. This was recently photographed by the much celebrated James Webb telescope.

SMACS 0723 sits a cool 4.6 billion light-years from our Earth. What does this mean? That the the light we see making up the photograph captured by the telescope was emitted shortly before our planet formed.

Think about that for a second. The size and scale of what is going on beyond our blue planet is just unimaginable.

And all this we see from the perspective of our tiny lives, typically just a 100 years end to end, no matter king of the world or pauper on the street.

Despite this, the ego inside has swelled up as though we are the centers of the universe itself. How ironic, isn’t it?

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Directionless or wrong direction?

Many of us feel like we do a lot. Yet all this doing doesn’t seem to give us the mental peace and happiness we expect to find. Why is this?

Maybe it’s because we don’t have our priorities straight?

Despite knowing what is important and what isn’t (like family time needs to be balanced with work time), I’ve often found myself slipping one way or the other.

Much of the slipping probably happens because of the need for external validation. I’m unsure of what my action or decision will lead to, especially if it’s an uncommon one. And so I’d rather look at what others are saying, going to say, thinking, going to think – about me! Really? Is anyone thinking about you/me/us? How much are we thinking of others?

A lovely quote I came across is on Mahatma Gandhi’s suggestion for getting to that happy state.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

This alignment, irrespective of what the external world thinks, could be the answer to internal peace.

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Garbage

You know those garbage bags, the black ones that are used to collect trash, and then handed off for disposal the next day when the garbage truck comes around?

Yes, yes, what about it? A blog post on that? Really?

Well imagine carrying a similar looking garbage bag, but slung around your shoulder.

No there won’t be garbage in it (hopefully, because many handbags do look like garbage inside!), but this is no ordinary garbage bag.

It is a designer handbag, costing nothing less than 10,000 dollars, but for some inexplicable reason, designed to look exactly like a garbage bag.

And you know what? It’s apparently selling like hot cakes! Phew, if it’s not enough that such designs even get approved in the first place, there are hundreds or thousands of people queueing up to throw their hard earned money at these things. No wonder it’s so difficult to give up attachments and desires.

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Scandi happy

The northern part of Europe, specifically the Nordic countries aka Scandinavia, are supposed to be one of the happiest parts of the world, if not the happiest.

We must have all come across this information at some point. Know why this is the case? No, it’s not because they are the wealthiest. Or the climate – nope, they have some of the harshest weather to be found anywhere on the planet.

What else could it be then? Apparently it is income equality. A friend of mine (white collar worker) living there used to say that his weekend outings would often be with friends comprising both white and blue collar workers. Surprising? Indeed, but that’s because everyone in these countries has dignity of labour (and decent paycheck), no matter what the work.

Why is this important? Because no income inequality, means no comparison to thy neighbour, and hence better happiness. Interesting isn’t it? Now we can’t all move to the Nordics, but can we do something here itself, wherever we may be? Yes we can, and that involves preferring to spend our money in areas that are uncommon (like choosing experiences over objects) which reduce the chances for comparison. Let’s try!

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Fool who?

In chapter 9 of the Gita, Lord Krishna says that fools think he is just a normal human being (having assumed such a form), whereas he is the all-pervading Supreme Being.

My Guru has an amazing purport that immediately follows this.

“Reading the meaning of this verse, we start looking for fools, Ravana etc. among our relatives or friends. No, He is talking about you and me, because it we who have:
1. Vain hopes (that name, fame, wealth will make us happy, finally!)
2. Futile actions, actions without viveka
3. Futile knowledge – any content that takes us away from the Lord”

What clarity!

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Bye-byes

Goodbyes are always hard. Unless you are leaving a toxic workplace or a terrible boss.

Even then, there’ll always be some people in the organization that were nice to you, and bidding them adieu isn’t easy.

But the beauty of change, is that when one door closes, another opens up, bringing with it several new relationships and possibilities.

Life on a spiritual level is similar too perhaps. Even at the most difficult time of death, which the Gita speaks about in great detail, the give up of these wordly attachments and cling-ons means that one gets to truly know and meet their Creator. Unless one wants to come back to this cycle of births and deaths of course.

As the poet Rumi noted on his deathbed to his weeping disciple, “Don’t weep, I’m parting ways with this world and getting ready to embrace my greater beloved.”

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Why prepping in advance is key – part 2 of 2

We know already why prepping in advance is key. We covered it yesterday. But here’s a nice example. It’s very similar to piloting a hot air balloon ride.

Really? Yes, even though most of us will rarely get the chance to pilot one, apparently these folks need proper training and a pilot’s license – very cool!

And that’s a good thing, which means all their passengers (about 20 of them in a ride) are all safe and happy.

But the way hot air balloons work, is that you have to adjust the hot air (helium etc) that is blown into the balloon in order for the balloon to either ascend or descend.

But the catch? It doesn’t happen instantaneously, unlike much of the digital world we are used to today. Click a button, and boom all done!

Nope, hot air balloons are analog machines, and so if you see a mountain coming up, you have to manage the air in the balloon well before that mountain comes close if you want to scale the peak safely. Whos doing all this? The pilot of course, thinking 10 steps ahead. That’s the importance of prepping in advance!

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Why prepping in advance is key – part 1 of 2

We are often told to read our scriptures, heed the advice of the wise, and attend satsangs regularly. After a while, we come to realize that most of the content is the same – seemingly repetitive and boring.

But you know what? In the repetition is where the magic happens!

Consider the stock markets for example. Everyone knows you need to buy low and sell high. It’s the easiest thing to do, right? Wrong. It’s the hardest thing to do, as any experienced investor will tell you, because when the market falls, your portfolio falls with it, and it paralyses one from taking action, even if that is the best time to buy more! Have a look at this often quoted statement in the market:

During these moments, confidence and clarity evaporates and is replaced by pessimism and doubt.

This exactly summarizes why we need to prepare in advance, read the scriptures in advance, practise in advance, attend satsangs in advance, build our key relationships – you guessed it – in advance. Because mental and physical strength is built during practise, not on the battlefield.

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Yes means No

You know how we struggle sometimes to say “No”?

Especially when we know deep down, that “No” is indeed the right answer.

It might be to a friend or relative asking for your money, or a boss asking you to work every weekend, or a colleague expecting you to always fill in for their gaps.

We may think that by saying “Yes” to such requests, we are actually doing something good, doing something divinely karmic.

However, it is good to remember that every coin has a flip side. By saying “Yes” to everything, we are actually saying implicit “No”s to ourselves and to our loved ones. How?

Because every extra hour or dollar wasted on someone unnecessary, is an equivalent hour or dollar unavailable for us to spend with ourselves or our loved ones. Not that we should not help others, but thinking this way helps us discriminate between who really needs our help, and who is being parasitic.

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Medi-what?

In a recent podcast, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev was asked about meditation.

He clarified, that meditation is not an activity. It is not about sitting in a place and trying to do something specific. Really? It’s not?

He said that meditation is not something that can be done. But rather that it is a quality. How?

Because, he explained, that one of the qualities of a person, is to be meditative. That is the way to truly live one’s life. This is exactly what my Guru also says, and we have covered this extensively here on FHN.

How to build this quality? By reducing attachments and desires. Which we know, don’t we? 😀

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Forrest

There’s an Aamir Khan movie coming up (Aug 2022) which is a remake of the classic Tom Hanks Hollywood movie called Forrest Gump.

That original one is on IMDB’s top 10 movies of all time, having got an incredible score of 8.8 on 10.

While most movies extol heroes with IQs of 150 and bulging biceps, here was one that highlighted a “half-wit”, as the protagonist himself would admit.

There is beauty in simplicity, and probably something we would all love to embrace. Check out this brilliant dialogue from the movie:

Jenny (Forrest’s love interest): Do you ever dream Forrest, about who you’re gonna be?

Forrest: Who I’m gonna be?

Jenny: Yeah.

Forrest: Aren’t I gonna be me?

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Turning the tables

In many parts of the Gita, Lord Krishna mentions that he is only the Watcher, not the Doer. He has only created the Nature around us to function based on certain laws (of nature), and whatever happens thereafter is upon creation, not Him.

Some people question this. How?

By asking why the Lord would not step in where required. Seems very easy to just say, “Okay, I’ve created, and so my part here is done.”. Why not interfere when things are going wrong? If crime is being committed, why would the Lord not come in and take charge? Why does he have to say that he has nothing to do with this?

The answer lies in karmic theory of course. That we each are responsible for what we do, and this karmic record spans multiple lifetimes. But there is another way to think of this as well.

What if the Lord questions us thus, “Hey I created this universe and world and have given each of you the most beautiful planet to live on. I’ve ensured everything is perfect, beautiful nature, bountiful resources and every reason for you to be happy forever. And yet, what have you people done? Are you really happy? Are the resources you’ve been given used properly? Sustainably? Are you all living together in love and harmony?”

The tables have been turned.

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One or the other

Having a traveling job is awesome. You get to see so many places, live in nice hotels, and enjoy diverse cuisines. Except, this is the outsider view. Ask anyone working like this, living half their lives on a flight or hotel and they would tell you how much they would rather be in a non-traveling job coming home to family each night. Ask anyone doing a desk job, and they’d be yearning to travel to various countries, always jet setting and globe trotting.

Working in a startup is really amazing. Freedom to choose your own work, style of work, location of work – you name it. But ask someone in a startup and they’d probably like the stability offered by a role in an established company. Ask someone in an established company though, and they’d be yearning for working at a startup.

Ask someone living in a city, and they’d hate it and want to “go live peacefully in the outdoors”. But ask the rural folk, and they’d love to be in the city to “earn more and live better”.

You can see where these comparisons are going. No place is perfect, except if our mind thinks it is.

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Kadanaaynu pannaadhey!

This was the example a very senior satsangi gave recently in a satsang. And it was very funny!

This is a Tamil phrase which means “don’t do your work as though you are paying back some loans/dues”.

It’s a common saying down South, and is often expressed by irate parents who see their kids going about their work or studies in a completely uninterested fashion.

This phrase was mentioned yesterday when the speaker was asked about how we should be going about our work.

“With full dhriti and utsaaha, or perseverance or excitement, no matter how boring the work.”

Doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t look out for better opportunities, but whatever we are doing currently, that needs to be done with the best intentions and mindset, not as though we were forcefully and woefully repaying a debt (even if in reality, some EMIs are to be paid each month 😄).

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Everyday

While on a road trip recently, the group of us was commenting as to how nice the roads were. Very well maintained, and no potholes and rough surfaces, which meant the ride was super smooth.

As we rode on, a large sign on the highway caught my eye. It said, “Every day is Safety Day. This one gets no special day, or any holidays!”

Not only was it a critical message for drivers, but replace the word Safety with Spirituality, and it’d quickly be immediately relevant to each one of us as spiritual aspirants.

Spirituality isn’t about going to satsang on one given day, or attending a sermon one-off, or thinking about the Lord when we want something or meditating just because we want to reduce our stress levels. Rather, spirituality is a way of life. It has no special days, or any holidays!

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Thanks Please

These are two words of great politeness and courtesy. We are always taught to say thank you and please right from childhood. This is good manners, nay, great manners.

But the two words could not be further apart in their import!

Please is for what is to come.

Thanks is for what came already.

We always want more and more, and hence we probably use please far far far more than we do thanks.

However this usage probably only keeps us unhappy, even if politely so. Because no matter how much we get, the – please I want more – will only grow.

But imagine starting each day, each hour, each minute, each second – with deep rooted thanks. A genuine gratitude for everything that we have already got. Not only is it polite, but it also keeps us mentally happy. Instead of looking for more, we realize we already have more and more.

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The real shark

On a recent episode of Shark Tank, a lady who was pitching spoke about how her father never believed she could/would ever be successful. The man wanted a son, but got her instead, and she broke down about how this would always scare her.

But she never gave up, always chasing her dreams, and that brought her to the sharky stage that day.

Robert, one of the sharks, who was already “out”, came back “in” at that point, and spoke of his own learnings. How he was always told throughout his childhood by everyone around him that he would never ever be successful.

Maybe this is quite a common experience. But what he said after that was key.

He said that after many years, he realized that the problem was not all those naysayers at all, but he himself. All his success came as soon as he yanked himself and his own negative thoughts that were standing in the path of his future.

Good lesson for any one of us that might have some negative thoughts from time to time!

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Temple duties – part 2 of 2

In several of the larger more famous temples in India, there are long serpentine queues, often requiring many hours of waiting and jostling to reach the sanctum sanctorum. But almost paradoxically, the time allowed to be spent at the feet of the deity is usually between 3 and 5 seconds. Hardly worth the effort, one would think.

And yet, people do it year after year, religiously, maybe even mindlessly? Surely this must be more than just blind faith. If things do not work out the way you wished for, would you come back the following year?

Much of this has become commercial and business driven. Playing on people’s faiths is easy. Nobody wants to anger a God. But the question is this.

While it is good to go to the large temples, are we regularly visiting the temple down our home street or town? If the Lord is everywhere, are we seeing Him in our parents? Do we treat those around us (who are also His Creation) with respect and love? If we are doing these things, then visiting large temples once a year or whenever is probably not needed? And if we are not doing these basic things also, then what is the point of visiting such large shrines of love and devotion?

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Temple duties – part 1 of 2

On a recent temple-hopping trip, there were some interesting experiences.

1. The priest at the inner sanctum sactorum of a large renknowned temple spoke very sweetly as we approached the deity. He gave us a 2 minute “extra” darshan, asked me to stand on the side, and then said in no uncertain words “take out your wallet and give me the big notes”. Despite literally being at the feet of the Lord, how much time did I get to really think about Him, versus trying to assess the situation after recovering from initial shock?

2. The priest at a small relatively unknown temple, explained the full history-geography of that deity – all without asking, gave extra blessings, and took no money.

3. After we paid for a special darshan queue at a famous temple, we were asked to pay the same amount again at the end, off-the-record, just in order to receive a few flowers and one coconut.

How to think about these things? Does money come in the way of spirituality? Is God really asking for cash from his devotees? Should we stop going to temples altogether?

Thoughts tomorrow!

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This is how you conquer fear

Fear is a struggle for most people. As one quote says, you don’t need to put a gun to a person’s head to make him afraid. You just need to ask him to go on stage to speak in public.

Of course, fear has more facets than just to do with public speaking. Even in day to day work, when faced with something unfamiliar, new, uncomfortable and uncertain, there is often a feeling of dread. The mouth dries up, the stomach ties up, and the brain fries up. This leads to anxiety, and eventual (or immediate) underperformance. What to do?

A common solution would be to “stay calm” or “try to calm yourself down” or “take a few deep breaths buddy”. This is good advice in general, except that when fear has already struck and when your adrenaline is pumping and heart rate is already high, trying to calm yourself down hardly works.

According to some research, we need to transform our mindset at the time into that of excitement. Trying to calm down a body engulfed by fear is like yanking the hand brake when the car is hurtling forward at 100 kmph. But excitement? “Yes I’m unsure of how this will work out but boy am I so excited to try out this new job!”

This is really just a shift in mindset, but do try it out the next time you face any sort of fear. Try telling your mind that you are so excited by this opportunity, and watch in amazement as the fear melts away, replaced by enthusiasm and eagerness!

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Gamechanged

When I was a child, there used to be many Gita chanting competitions. These still happen today as well, but I’m an uncle now 😂.

These contests were a struggle, given my memory power and recitation prowess has been weak at best. Other kids would memorize 18 chapters and 700 shlokas and produce them at will, and I used to watch on, stunned.

Years later when I heard my Guru speak, I realized he changed the game completely. He never once asked his satsangis to memorize shlokas or be able to chant them. Never mind the fact that he himself knew the Gita backwards and forwards, with (even today) the ability to pluck any shloka out of thin air, recite it and proceed to give a 2 hour talk on it.

But to his spiritual seekers? His sole focus has been on application of the messages of these shlokas in daily life. It might seem like this is easier than memorizing and chanting, but do try it out and see if that is the case!

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Greenest grass

On a recent rural trip, I couldn’t help but marvel at some homes on the way. Yes they were rudimentary, but also so peaceful. There were cattle grazing, elders lounging around in the sun, kids playing by a small brook, and lush pristine green as far as the eye could see.

The immediate thought that comes to city dwellers in such circumstances is, “What am I slogging for really every single day in the concrete jungle I’m living in? All the money in the world cannot buy such experiences in nature and simplicity. Wish I could live here instead.”

Mine was a day trip, and I had to head back to base in the evening. This meant I passed by the same rural homes, although this time after sundown.

It was pitch dark. A few earthen lamps lit the patios. But enough to warn of any wild animals, especially snakes in the grass, or other creatures lurking in the shadows? Not a chance. Men and women walking along the sides of the main roads could only be seen if lit by the high-beam flashlights of passing vehicles. God forbid if someone was driving with low or no lights. All the dazzling serenity and beauty of the place in the morning, was replaced by an eerie silence instead.

Surely these were the good old days, where waking up with sunrise and winding down by sunset were the order of the day. But can we follow this in our city lifestyles? Will that keep us happy, or is this just greener grass?

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Good to liberate

We should all do good only all the time. Isn’t it?

Yes of course we should, absolutely, what stupid questions I ask sometimes!

But will this doing good always, lead us to moksha or liberation?

Not at all.

Really! But why?

My Guru explains in his Amazing Simple Gita thus:

“Even a million good actions cannot lead one to liberation. Knowledge of Reality, that you are Brahman, and your world is false, is a must. Ignorance of Reality is the cause of the existence of the World.”

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Give up yet never give up

There is a lot the Gita asks us to give up. Fruits of our actions. Desires. Extremes. Attachments. And so on.

But there is also something that Krishna says (and my Guru strongly advocates) we should never give up. This comes up in chapter 18 verse 5.

What is this? It is SAC.

SAC? Yes, Sacrifice, Austerity and Charity.

Sacrifice is doing everything for the benefit of others. Austerity is living with simplicity and minimalism. Charity is providing for others who cannot provide for themselves.

Why do SAC? My Guru says it is to purify our minds. How so? By shifting our focus from ourselves always (ego) to those around us. And we know how the pinnacle of spirituality is achieved by giving up the ego. Such a beautiful connect, don’t you think?

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Food over medicines

There was a bit of a medical emergency recently. Not a big scare or anything. But some medicines were needed, and pronto.

There’s so many “10-minute delivery” apps nowadays, that any one of them should have done the trick.

Except that at 4 am, none of them deliver medicines even in 3 hours, let alone 10 minutes.

That is understandable of course. Can’t expect the world to be awake in the wee hours of the morning to make medical deliveries.

Until you open the food apps that is, and realize that you can order burgers and fries and high-sugar fizzy drinks at 4 am for immediate delivery, but not critical medicines.

We collectively as a society seem to have our priorities clear 😅

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Is good always good?

We often think that only good needs to happen to us, all the time.

Is that really a good thing though?

Think of a turkey. Not the country, but the bird.

Every day it gets fed lovely food. The tastiest choicest of grains. And it’s loving it.

The turkey thinks that it has arrived in life and achieved it all.

The more it eats, the fatter it gets.

All is good, right?

Then comes Thanksgiving…

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What if I can’t remember the Lord always?

This is a common question every spiritual aspirant gets at some point. Yes, we need to remember the Lord all the time. But when I’m speaking to my friends, browsing Instagram or Facebook, doing my office work, having dinner with family at a restaurant on Friday night, taking the kids to the park, meeting other important deadlines and so on, it’s practically not possible to constantly keep the chanting of the Lord’s name going on in the background. Isn’t it?

So what to do?

Lord Krishna has already addressed this in chapter 12 of the Gita verses 9 to 12. What does he say?

My Guru explains beautifully in his Amazing Simple Gita thus. “Fix the mind and intellect on Him. That’s the goal. Can’t do it? Okay, try next. Practice meditation. Keep practicing. Can’t do this also? No problem, try next. Be intent on working for Him, and you shall attain Perfection. Still difficult? Relinquish fruits of actions in whatever you do, and peace immediately follows.”

The best takeaway from the Gita ever, don’t you agree?

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Police dharma

The French word for police is gendarme. No I don’t speak French, but I was looking it up recently. Why?

Because I came across the word for police in a few other languages. “Jandarma”

Jan Dharma?

In Sanskrit, that would be amazing – what does the police do? Their dharma is towards the people. Pretty awesome!

But of course that wouldn’t necessarily be where the word came from. The French gendarme came from gens d’ arms, meaning the men who possessed arms (like guns etc.) and are hence the police. But nice wishful thinking for sure with the Sanskrit connection!

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The art of 3s – part 3 of 3 (duh!)

What are the reasons for Curry’s ridiculous success? He himself highlights two of them.

1. Imagination, and 2. Repetition.

Imagination? What’s that? No different from Creative Visualization that my Guru strongly endorses. Don’t just dream of the future you want, but visualize it, strongly, as if it has already happened. And add smells and taste and flavour to it. It will come true, if you also follow #2, Repetition, which is the same as Practice.

As Curry notes, every dream has to be “built upon the foundation of hard work”. Is he taking it easy, now that he has achieved the pinnacle of success? Quite the opposite – because he says he practices today more than ever before in his life! And it’s those days where he doesn’t feel like going for practice, but still shows up – that make all the difference.

Is it always so good for him? Does every aim-and-shoot always result in a perfect 3 pointer? Far from it. But he focuses on his wins, and looks to better each weak shot, forgetting the associated negative emotion. He calls it “Intentionality of Amnesia” 😀

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The art of 3s – part 2 of 3 (duh!)

Steph Curry is just 34 years old, but already holds the record for the maximum 3 pointers ever scored (>3000) across all the seasons he has played. He crossed other stalwarts like Reggie Miller and Ray Allen who held these records previously.

The interview I wrote about yesterday? It was conducted by Miller himself – after Curry overtook him!

What does that teach us? That nothing is permanent, and today’s greatness can easily be outdone tomorrow.

Will it be easy? Absolutely not. In fact, for any of today’s greats to best Curry, it is estimated that they would need to score an average of 250 three-pointers – for each of the next 15 seasons! Most of them will neither achieve this average, nor even play that long. Besides, Curry’s own score count is likely to increase further during this period!

So, how does Curry’s basketball magic happen? Super lessons for us (mainly me) in tomorrow’s concluding post!

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The art of 3s – part 1 of 3 (duh!)

Three is a very important number in spirituality. Many mantras are chanted in 3s or multiples thereof. Even 108, which comprises 1 mala, is divisible by 3. Then there’s the 3 worlds – bhur, bhuvah, svah. And the 3 gunas – sattva, rajas, tamas, and so on.

But this post is not about the spiritual 3s. Rather this is about – wait for it – basketball!

Scoring a 3-pointer in basketball is not easy. Even if there are no opponents, it is hard enough – having to stand well outside the D, and aim and shoot a ball through a tiny basket (barely bigger than the ball itself) perched 10 feet high.

But there is one man called Stephen Curry who plays in the NBA, who’s made a career out of this. He’s scored 400 3-pointers in a single season – a record that no other professional player has even come close to.

I don’t follow basketball as such, but I recently watched an interview with Steph Curry titled “The Art of 3s”, and came across some brilliant takeaways that can be used in our daily lives. Continued tomorrow!

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One Love

Back in the noughties (only 20 years ago!), the boy band Blue crooned, “One Love is all we need”, and that song became a massive hit.

While that song was about something else too, it is indeed One Love that is the common denominator across all religions.

People fight today in the name of religion, declaring that their own path is Supreme, in isolation, and to the exclusion of every other faith.

But no God ever said this. Only man did.

And humans do this why? Because of their ego.

It’s not about the Lord or the religion anymore, but about “their” God and “their” religion.

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Road to rationality

There are plenty of miracles that happen in our lives, even if we do not necessarily look at it that way. That we are even alive, on the only blue planet in the universe, spinning at 36 km/s, and yet not leaving anyone dizzy – how did the Creator even come up with all this?

Despite several inexplicables (such as those who pass away in one half of the year will only reach heaven while the others will go to hell) in The Gita chapter 8 verses 26 and 27, my Guru has a brilliant and practical suggestion / solution.

1) One path is that if we are already endowed with strong faith, then there is no problem. We fully side with and believe in what our scriptures tell us, and follow accordingly.

2) The other road is one where some of us might question the logic and rationality of such ‘miracles’ and other spiritual setups. To which Guruji’s point is, “Great, this scepticism is good. Anyway this is all a play of maya only. So the faster one transcends this body-mind complex by working on their spiritual sadhanas, the better it is, because one can then sidestep the need to have blind faith in something that the intellect is unable to grasp.”

Which road would you choose?

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So bored with…

One of the challenges with spirituality? It appears to make life, and living itself, quite boring.

Lord Krishna says the world is dukhaalayam (sorrow-filled) and ashashwatam (fleeting), and also to give up desires and attachments and what not.

So a new spiritual seeker could find all this very boring.

But that is not the intention at all. The only reason for all these mentions, is to be objective and realistic in the way we live our lives.

It is similar to a newly married couple. The first year pre and post marriage are the best. Why? Because the couple can only see the best in each other. Which is a great way to live, but is eventually replaced with reality. Smart parents, will advise their kids accordingly, not to deter them from marriage, but to prepare them for it. And so it is, with life, and spirituality.

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The meaning of Guru’s grace – part 2 of 2

The next line?

Yaha shruti ved kehta, Guru bina gyaan kaisa?

Meaning: our scriptures ask how we can get True Knowledge if there is no Guru

Gyaan bina mukti kaise, aave teri dhyaan mein

Meaning: without That Knowledge, how will you even begin to comprehend liberation?

Krodh kapat tyaag kijiye, sadguru ki seva kijiye

Meaning: give up anger and deceit and focus on serving the Guru

Sadguru ki sharan lijiye, khel yeh maidan mein

Meaning: surrender to your Guru, and continue playing in this game called life.

To me, this bhajan, reflecting the beautiful Guru-shishya relationship is what is true Grace. Are we worthy of it?

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The meaning of Guru’s grace – part 1 of 2

Can’t explain it better than my favorite Guru bhajan, which happens to be in simple Hindi.

Guru brahma roop jaano, shiv ka swaroop maano

Meaning: The Guru is no different from Lord Shiva Himself

Paapse bachaave Guru, Gnaanko sikhaave Guru

Meaning: The Guru is the one who saves us from sins, while also bestowing upon us the True Knowledge (of the Self)

Brahmase milave Guru, Turiya padh gyaan mein

Meaning: The Guru shows us Brahman through experience via the meditative Turiya state

The rest of this brilliant, enchanting yet simple bhajan will be continued tomorrow!

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Please select justification

What’s good and what’s not? Can a bad thing also be a good thing?

My work recently required me to send a bunch of emails. All similar emails, similar content, but with changing only the names, addressing each recipient individually.

These kinds of one-off tasks can get boring and repetitive (because they are!), but sometimes just need to be done.

Each time I would hit the “Send Email” button, a pop-up would show up: “Please select justification for sending this email outside the office domain”, and I’d have to select “Official Purpose” and that would be it. But if I had to do this for each time I had to send those 50-60 emails, it was becoming irritating.

Until, after about the 20th email, in a hurry, I forgot to change the name of the recipient, and hit send. Oops! I realized my mistake in that split second itself, and my heart jumped into my mouth. Luckily, there was a pop-up “Please select justification…”

Phew. Saved by that same pesky pop-up! Again, what’s good and what’s not? Can a bad thing also be a good thing?

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Don’t worry be happy!

This title is the crux of spirituality. Really.

All is well. And all will be well. Whether something is good or bad is decided by the mind. Our minds are very poor predictors of what is to come – and that is why we can never stay happy, even if we achieve exactly or more than what we want.

When we let every minor or major problem in our lives derail our happiness, we get more and more irritated, angry, frustrated, jealous, disappointed… which then leads to further worry.

Why do we worry? Because, my Guru says, we are living in the past or the future, not in the present moment. What is the fix? To simply accept things the way they are, to enjoy the moment, and to not worry about what was or will be. Easier said than done?

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Here’s the shortcut

The shortcut is that there is only a longcut.

We all want to evolve spiritually, and evolve fast.

We want to quickly conquer the vices, never get angry, never be greedy or jealous, and never cower in fear.

But there are no quick fixes. Only preparatory fixes. The prep for a war cannot start one day before the war. It’s a continuous process, requiring years and years of prep. Many army / navy / airforce people might prep for decades (and even retire!) without so much as entering a real battlefield. Then why prep? Because that’s the only way to be ready, because we can never predict when the war will begin. Just like in our lives too – we need to be ready in advance. That’s why our scriptures focus so much on satsang and sadhana – so that when a problem strikes, we are ready!

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Whose problems?

Everyone’s got problems. Some are big, some are small. But no, rarely would anyone consider their own problems as small.

My Guru used to say that if a lot of people are complaining about their problems, they should all be brought together. Like at a dining table, and then made to discuss their problems, one by one. Then at the end of the discussion, the choice should be given to each one to exchange their problems with others.

Would anyone be ready to exchange? Absolutely not! While their own problems are bad, the other person’s problems are even worse, so we are better off with our own! So what is the takeaway? Quit cribbing, and be happy with what we’ve got.

The corollary? As the saying goes, “Don’t tell people your problems. Eighty percent don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad you have them.”

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Miraculous – part 2/2

Surely the greatest thinkers ever, the rishis who had communion with God Himself, they would immediately realize that the planets are too far to make an impact on humans? And yet they persisted. Writing treatise after treatise on astrology. Not just astrology, but also palmistry, and yoga, and ayurveda, and so many other sciences.

It’s alright if it doesn’t appear to make sense or seems illogical. But we should come to this conclusion after spending enough time studying these subjects, should we not?

In my personal experience, while I started as a sceptic, the more I read and learned about these fields, the more I realized these teachers-of-yore were onto something. If anything, my initial scepticism helped build even stronger faith later on. Eventually, it has led to acceptance, that 1+1 is not always 2, and that there are many things I will never fully understand.

Here are some interesting books in no particular order that help satiate a bit of curiosity, while also opening our eyes to newer possibilities. 1) The Aghora series, by Dr. Robert Svoboda, 2) Demystifying Reincarnation by Chaitanya Charan and 3) The Autobiography of a Yogi.

Do let me know what you felt after reading some of these!

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Miraculous – part 1/2

In chapter 8 of the Gita, Lord Krishna mentions the existence of seven hells and seven heavens. Really? What is this? Coming from a logical and scientific background, do such things even make sense?

One satsangi said this topic was a complete ‘bouncer’ for him, and why not!

While some of these things may sound fantastic, and I have no way of either proving or disproving them, my preference has just been to keep an open mind. Nobody really understands everything, and to pooh-pooh something just because I don’t understand it doesn’t seem like the right approach to me.

Take vedic astrology for instance. The most common argument against it is that, “Oh how can some planet situated so many light years away have an impact on me?”. My counter to that is, for the rishis and munis that discovered such sciences many thousands of years ago and had such insanely high acumen that they uncovered many secrets of human life – would these same brilliant sages have just decided to ignore the most obvious “planets are too far away from earth” observation?

Concluded tomorrow!

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Should you bribe?

In certain places and situations, it might seem like doing the so-called wrong thing (just a wee bit off the law) might actually be the right thing. Maybe giving a small bribe to move some papers for the benefit of others. Or jumping a red light to get someone to the hospital for an emergency and so on. Somewhat like a white lie.

But is this alright? What do the scriptures say?

Without getting into specific instances of what is right and wrong, here are some principles from the Gita, my Guru and senior satsangis.

1) Do what is dharmic. This message is clear and consistent. 2) Try to avoid doing what we know is explicitly wrong (adharmic). So if the emergency you are battling is a life or death situation, maybe you could be forgiven – but do you always only encounter life and death situations? Surely not. In fact, cutting a signal to avoid a life and death situation could end up actually making the situation a life and death one! 3) Prayaschittam, such as chanting 16 malas of a mantra, to atone for the error, and seek forgiveness. This is done not for the Lord, but for oneself, so that we register the mistake in our minds and try to avoid in the future.

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More and more

The other day, I came across a book in a bookstore (yes those still exist!).

It was partially covered, and so I only saw half the title.

The words were “Ask For More”.

I thought to myself, “What a weird title!”, and then proceeded to pick up the book out of interest.

Turns out, the title was actually “Say Less, Ask More”. It was not ‘ask “for” more’. That was just my mind playing tricks on me. Not just tricks, but working in its usual ways of wanting more and more.

The book instead was on how to lead effectively. By listening more, saying less, and asking more questions so that learning improves. Nice isn’t it?

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What matters?

Was reading some investment related material today, but realized quickly that it was excellent life advice as well.

  1. While size matters, what matters more is character. The latter helps create sustainable value.
  2. More than the present size (of the investee company), what matters is what size it will become.
  3. There is no need to worry about mere size. We do not necessarily respect a fat man more than a thin man. Sir Isaac Newton was very much smaller than a hippopotamus, but we do not on that account value him less. (Bertrand Russell)

Some good food for thought, don’t you think?

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LLL

Chapter 8 in the Gita is about death. That’s what everyone says. So gloomy, so moribund.

But my Guru has a different take.

He says it’s about the 3 Ls.

The art of Living.

The art of Loving.

And then and only then, the art of Leaving.

Yes Lord Krishna talks about death, and what one should do at the time of death (i.e. think of Him). But that’s not easy, and doesn’t come at the last minute (literally!).

We need to Live a life of Love for the Lord, and then all of a sudden, the Leaving will become an art.

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Trasher

Here are three hard hitting lines I came across in a podcast.

“Would you let someone to come into your house and trash it?”

“No right?”

“Then why are we letting people come into our minds and trash it?”

The moment we feel weak or sad or angry simply because of what someone else told us, we have let them into our minds to trash it.

Is that what we want?

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Karmic simplicity

Here is a simple Karmic truth.

Many people think that spirituality and materialism are poles apart.

But Lord Krishna in the Gita has given a way to make them both the same!

He asks us to perform karma yoga, so that our worldly work will continue on, as the body continues doing all the necessary actions.

And the mind? The mind is attached to God, because all work is done as a service to Him, and hence no karma is accrued.

Thus spirituality = materialism!

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Can we think of the Lord all the time?

A close friend couple (husband + wife) had taken a 1 year sabbatical. This was what they recounted to me.

They planned their sabbatical about 10 months in advance. And they were both working right till the start of the sabbatical.

Initially, they said, it felt so far off, and they would hardly think of it.

But towards the end, as time kept moving forward, and as the time-to-sabbatical reduced from months to just weeks and days and hours, they said that they kept thinking of the sabbatical ever increasingly, even during their office work, which they were anyway doing, and doing well.

We certainly seem to have the capacity to process multiple things at once in our minds. So can we think of the Lord a lot of the time, while also going about our other daily duties? We sure can!

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Dusty feet

Lord Krishna once got a headache (yes apparently God’s can get them too!).

The cure? To simply sprinkle some dust from under the feet of any of his devotees.

He asked sage Narada to go looking for any devotee that would give him the dust from under their feet. Narada thought it would be easy-peasy.

But to his surprise and dismay, not a single devotee agreed. Everyone was worried, that if the dust from their feet would fall on the Lord’s head, then they would be sent to hell!

Finally sage Narada reached the gopis (cowherds) of Vrindavan. The gopis immediately collected some dust from under their feet and asked Narada to take it back to Krishna at the earliest. Narada was perplexed, and asked the gopis, “Aren’t you worried about going to hell like all the other devotees were?”

“Who cares about hell?”, they said. “All we care about is that Krishna should be healthy and happy again. Kindly go and give the dust to him as soon as you can please.”

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Water from where?

Imagine you had a bucket of the world’s purest water. Life-giving, disease-healing, magically-energizing water. And then you put just one teenie-weenie drop of toilet water into it. Would you drink this water?

Absolutely not, right?

This is the outstanding example my Guru keeps giving at every opportunity.

He says that all the bad news and bad events in our lives – like someone died, someone fell ill, you lost your job, you didn’t get the promotion or bonus you were looking for, someone spoke something harsh against you and so on and so forth – that all these would take up just maybe a few days of bad feelings at most.

What do we do though? We spend weeks, months, years and sometimes our entire lives in mental anguish, stress, regret, sorrow and worse. In an otherwise perfect life, we have introduced a few drops of toilet water.

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How to work?

My Guru repeatedly says that there is no such thing as a perfect type of work.

Even the best of things, done over and over, will only bring boredom and frustration.

Our scriptures also place no emphasis on the actual work we do, but rather only focus on the state of our minds, while we are engaged in that (any) work.

How to work then? My Guru repeats this verse from chapter 18 of the Gita:

mukta-saṅgo ‘nahaṁ-vādī dhṛity-utsāha-samanvitaḥ

It means that one must be free from attachment and ego, and be endowed with dhriti and utsaha, i.e. perseverance and enthusiasm. That is the simple (but not easy) secret sauce to success.

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Bhajan shortcut

In chapter 8 of the Gita, Lord Krishna appears to offer a shortcut to reach Him.

He says, that no matter the kind of life one has led (including very sinful), if one remembers the Lord at the time of death, then such a person would definitely reach Him.

Seems easy enough! So one clever chap who had never been even remotely pious or religious or spiritual in his entire 90 year life, decided to utilise this shortcut. His plan? To make sure that on his deathbed, his near and dear ones play some Krishna bhajans, so that automatically he keeps thinking of Krishna.

On the last day/time, he is on his deathbed, and a Krishna bhajan is played. And then another. And another. Our man cannot stand it any longer, all these alien songs, having never listened to any bhajans in his life. “What is this stuff? It’s so boring. Stop it! Can’t you people just let me die in peace?”. They did stop the bhajans being played, and he promptly passed away.

The shortcut in chapter 8 is not a shortcut. It just appears so. In order to remember the Lord at the time of death, it is necessary to remember Him at every waking moment!

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The art of war

Was reading about a war situation. One family of 6, two parents and 4 of their children, were stuck in their home as war broke out. They thought they were safe, until an enemy missile exploded barely 500 meters away from their home.

They dashed into their car and decided to make a run for the border. Only 5 of them though. Because the eldest, at 18 years of age, decided to stay back and fight for his country.

The other 5 somehow managed to reach the border, staying in all sorts of temporary encampments enroute. With great difficulty, they crossed over into the neighbouring country.

The husband ensured his family was safe, and the next morning began the drive back home, to join his son in the fight. Whether the wife and 3 kids would ever see their husband/father/brother/son again, was a question no one had the answer to…

Meanwhile, what silly tiny immaterial problem in my life was I complaining about again today morning?

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How to make the right decision?

You know how we are at a crossroads so many times in our lives? We need to make one decision or another. This job or that. This country or that. This course or that. This institution or that. And so on.

Despite this, we rarely have a clear blueprint of how to go about these decisions. So critical, yet so confusing.

A senior satsangi this past weekend gave a simple yet profound 3-step technique for just this problem:

  1. Pray for the right wisdom.
  2. Ask for guidance from materially successful mentors especially if they are also on the spiritual path, such as a part of the same satsang.
  3. Understand deeply, that the grass is always greener elsewhere. Not that we shouldn’t strive for better – but just that it helps to have realistic expectations.

Decision making conquered!

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Titular

CEO, CFO, COO, CIO, Head of Legal, Head of Sales, Executive Director, Managing Director, Senior Vice President, Senior Partner, Senior Principal etc etc.

These are all lovely titles.

Everyone wants them.

But can everyone handle them?

Each of these titles comes with truckloads of stress and deadlines and deliverables and insane client demands.

If we run after the titles alone, we will experience nothing more than stress and anxiety.

However, if we focus on adding value to those around us, neither will we be stressed, nor will we need any titles. Paradoxically, all the titles in the world will come running to us!

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Constructive focus

Was observing a construction worker recently.

He had just laid a ton of bricks. Putting one after the other, and cementing up an entire wall. Grunt work, if there was any.

His boss came up to him the next day and said the owners had asked for the wall to be shifted a little. This meant disassembling his entire work from the previous day, and putting the wall up again, brick by brick, a couple of meters away.

Anyone in his place would have been frustrated, and understandably so. Why couldn’t someone have told him the correct place to put the wall up in the first place?

But our man? Not at all fazed. He coolly nodded, and went about taking apart the current wall and setting up the new one. His entire focus was on the work itself (laying the bricks) and not at all on the result (whether the wall was here or there or on Mars). A good lesson for me as I go about my daily work.

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Back scratching

“You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” is a common expression.

This also nicely sums up Parasparam Bhavayantah from chapter 3 verse 11 of the Gita, which we have seen a few times before. The principle of helping one another. The understanding that nothing can survive independently.

One neat example is in the world of home deliveries. All these apps now use maps to ensure they deliver groceries or food or parcels in the quickest time possible.

But are these maps they have each created on their own? Not at all! They use Google Maps, for a fee of course. And that’s how Google Maps makes money too, because it’s not like you or I pay anything to Google for using their Maps. Parasparam Bhavayantah in action!

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Pottymouth

One guy I came across has a real potty mouth. Not just cuss words or expletives, but even hurtful and derogatory words were common usage for him. You know some folks are just very angry and irritated by everything around them? Yes, this chap was exactly like that.

It so happened, that one of the times very recently, he shouted at someone for their tardiness, only to realize that the other person had just lost a parent, which was the reason for the delay in the first place.

And then this pottymouth fellow felt really bad, that he gave that poor fellow a tough time, when he was already grieving over the loss of his closest one. What to do now? Because no amounts of sorrys would offer reprieve. “I wish I had been nicer to him on that day”, he said.

But no, that’s not how this works. You cannot pick and choose the time to be a nice person or a bad person. Good and bad are ingrained into our psyche, assuming we are normal people. That’s why my Guru says we need to transform our thinking, our lives in totality, and not just chase after temporary solutions.

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Mental case

Troubled by stress, anxiety and tension? You are not alone.

How to keep these at bay? By not worrying about what will happen. We know this.

The only thing that differentiates each one of us, and especially those who take a lot of tension versus those who don’t, is their state of mind once a problem has been revealed to them.

Maybe you found out that you need to make a presentation in front of a 1000-people audience, and you just detest the idea. But you need to do it, because that is your job.

The chilled out guy is not worried, because he knows he anyway has to present to that large group, so why worry? Besides, he has faced several tough situations before, and he’s still alive, and so he has faith in himself and/or at least in a higher power to help guide him.

Often it’s not the fear of actually presenting that is the cause of worry, but the fear of underperformance. That people will laugh. That I’d make a fool of myself, and be relegated to YouTube’s Greatest Fools’ Hall of Fame top list. The reality is that no one cares, because everyone is too busy worrying about themselves.

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Is God showing off?…

…is a question some have on their minds.

What is the meaning of this question even, you might be wondering. Consider the Gita. Everywhere in the wonderful scripture, the Lord talks of his own greatness.

How He is the greatest amongst all Creation. How He is the thread underlying all manifestation. How He knows past, present and future, and everyone and everything, but none know him. How He is the best of the best (vibhuti) of all that we see around us. And on and on.

When this same Lord says that giving up our ego is the most important thing in spirituality, is it that he is showing off about His own abilities? Absolutely not, and here’s 2 key reasons why:

1. He is indeed the true Creator, Sustainer, Destroyer of life and everything around us. We weren’t there for even a fraction of a second, if we look at things from His time frame. If He doesn’t tell us the truth about His nature, then who will?

2. The second point is critical, because there is ego and showing off only if one keeps something to themselves, for selfish reasons. The Lord though has been shouting hoarse to Arjuna that deep down, there is no difference between anyone, i.e. Atman = Paramatman!

LHS = RHS, Hence proved!

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Public Work

Met an old bloke today. Probably in his fifties.

He was happy – smiling and whistling to himself. Not that I met him in happy circumstances.

He was in his small claustrophobic office doing his work. We know his office well. It is also called the public restroom. No he wasn’t spending time there because of a bad stomach. It was just his daily job. 8 hours of business to be done once others were done with theirs.

He said he traveled 2 hours one way from house, in an overcrowded train, every single day. 4 hours spent in traveling, in sweat and crowd, all to get a pittance, after being locked 7 days a week 8 hours a day in a tiny smelly room!

How could he possibly be happy and smiling and whistling? The only possible answer to this question is that happiness is in the mind.

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The 5-4-3-2-1 technique you cannot miss!

We all get stressed sometimes. It’s natural. And then we read up on how to reduce this stress. And nice books will tell you that you should not worry about the future. That you should only live in the present.

This is absolutely perfect advice of course. But how to follow this?

Here’s a method I came across. It’s called the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. And it is really simple. If followed properly, it can quickly yank us right back into the present. How to do this?

5. Acknowledge 5 things you can see around you.

4. Acknowledge 4 things that you can touch around you.

3. Acknowledge 3 things that you can hear around you.

2. Acknowledge 2 things that you can smell around you.

1. Acknowledge 1 thing that you can taste around you.

That’s all there is to the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, but it works, and your mind should be less stressed already!

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You have been replaced…

…is a fear each of one us have had at some point.

Whether replaced in a pivotal relationship, or replaced in your job, or replaced from a position of authority, everyone likes the status quo. And the inertia of sitting and lazing around is probably the strongest force in the world!

A new and more recent threat of replacement is one of AI – Artifical Intelligence. We already see so much of computational power around us. Many jobs that were once done by people (ATMs in place of bank tellers; Alexa instead of typists; e-booking instead of travel agents) are all done by computers.

How to survive this? What skills are irreplaceable?

Here is the list, according to a study I came across. 1) Empathy, 2) Emotional Intelligence, 3) Creativity and 4) Unstructured Problem Solving (i.e. not solving via code).

That’s the list. And you know the beauty of these? Each one of these can be developed by us, and strengthened. And forget computers replacing us, if we excel at these, even other people cannot replace us. The hard part? None of these are taught anywhere. Except maybe in satsangs and spiritual books.

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Should you choose the red pill or the blue one?

Remember the original Matrix movie? Where Neo aka The One gets a choice between 2 pills, the Blue pill and the Red pill?

We discussed here about 2 years ago how the red pill is probably actually the blue pill. We are stuck in our comfy lives, thinking we have already hit the pinnacle of evolution. Despite our Gurus and spiritual masters shouting themselves hoarse that the blue pills we have all unconsciously ingested only fuel the fire of Maya.

While the new Matrix movie, Resurrections, was beyond my comprehension capacity, there was one very interesting dialogue.

It’s about the same blue pill / red pill choice. But this time, while Neo is asked to choose either one, he is also proferred an extra line as follows: “There is actually no choice between the red pill and the blue pill. The choice is simply an illusion. You already know which one too choose.”

Don’t we?

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CEO skills you need to have

A few days ago, I had the opportunity to be part of a meeting with the senior leadership team of a large bank. A very very large one.

They were looking for a CEO. Nope they were not interviewing me for that role, but just that thought is itself funny 😂

In any case, the topic of how they would select the next CEO came up.

The leaders had the criteria for CEO super clear in their mind.

Requirements 1 and 2 had no mention of academics or achievements or credentials.

Requirement number 1 was humility. And requirement number 2 was alignment to their culture. Everything else, was quite literally, tertiary.

What abilities are we looking to build if we want to become CEO?

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Toil-let

It’s interesting how quickly we humans adapt.

Some months ago, we had the opportunity to stay a short while in a 3 BHK, one with 3 toilets. Of course that is very comfortable for typical Indian standards. Felt good.

Then we traveled, and spent a while in a place with a toilet that was separate and outside the room. A couple of days, and we got comfortably used to that as well.

And then we spent some time in a place with just one loo, but attached to the room. A damn cool upgrade as it were. And very comfortable.

And then back to base with 2 loos.

What did I learn as a nomadic loorist (loo+tourist, but you got that already)? That the body adjusts really fast to any change – almost momentarily. But the mind? Oh that’s a toughie!

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Visionaries

Drishti Foundation was the uploader of a YouTube video that came up on my feed recently.

The video had a bunch of guys and gals all wearing sunglasses, standing on stage, and either singing or playing various instruments.

While the music was no doubt outstanding, the smiles on their faces were other-worldly.

Every single performer was really enjoying – nay relishing – their joint creation of brilliant harmonies.

And then it hit me. They weren’t wearing sunglasses for style. Each of the performers was blind.

How could they be performing like that, with so much cheerfulness, despite their crippling disabilities? How can I be even half as happy as them?

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ABCs

In JP Morgan’s recent quarterly commentary, I came across an interesting acronym.

If you read the title of this post, then no doubt you guessed it already.

ABC (duh!).

Here is the statement verbatim.

“We’ve always believed that ABC – Arrogance, Bureaucracy and Complacency leads to stasis and death.”

You don’t usually expect to find such lines in boring corporate commentary, but sometimes such gems do exist in the most unlikeliest of places!

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Directions

We were all set for experiencing the Siddhivinayak Kakad Aarti at 5.30 am. One would have to wake up much earlier maybe 4 am, shower and then reach the temple.

Night owls would consider such trips sacrilege. But those familiar with morning sevas of Indian temples would know this is not such a bad time – given some start at 2 am!

In any case, we were headed to the temple, just on time. Until of course we encountered a road closure. It was tantalizingly close to the temple, while also being far enough that we couldn’t walk to reach on time.

The area wasn’t familiar, and so we didn’t know the bylanes at all. Momentarily, and out of nowhere, in an otherwise deserted street, a car overtook us, as if directed by Someone higher up. The car went ahead, hit the same road closure, took a U-turn, and then proceeded to the take the shortest alternative route to the temple. We obviously followed, quickly, and otherwise would have had zero chance of reaching on time. Divine directions indeed!

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Conflicted

There’s a big conflict in Arjuna’s mind.

He sees a lovely path ahead of him called the Path of Knowledge. Jnaana Yoga.

And then a much tougher one, the Path of Work. Karma Yoga.

Of course he is drawn to Jnaana Yoga. Just “learn” some “knowledge” and run away from the battlefield and be done with all work forever.

But this is only an apparent conflict, borne out of delusion, as Krishna explains to him, and indirectly to us.

There is hardly any difference between the two Paths.

Jnaana Yoga is also a path of work only. Because the true Path of Knowledge gets the individual to realize that it is not work that should be shunned, but only attachment to it and its fruits.

The paths only exist in the mind. To the realized soul, everything is the same.

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Sellers

The most important trait to make money surely has to be IQ right?

Warren Buffet, the world’s foremost investor has a different view.

He says very clearly, that a high IQ is not necessary at all.

He is so sure, that he recommends selling 30 points of your IQ, if you’re at 160, because a 130 is more than enough.

You know what else happens when the IQ is too high? Self confidence morphs into over confidence, and the ego gets a boost like no other. And we all know the perils of an inflated ego…

If IQ doesn’t matter much, then what is important? Mr. Buffet thinks that “just being sensible” is key. Simple, but not easy.

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Master feeder

There are many pious families in India that will not eat until the food has first been offered to the Lord (at their altars).

This is a phenomenal tradition, and not just for the sake of it.

Of course it is more symbolic than real, because one wouldn’t expect the food to actually be eaten. But that is irrelevant.

Even when you are really ravenous, if you are able to put someone else (the Lord) above yourself first in the hunger chain, that is amazing.

Further, the idea is that you are taking care of the Lord, providing him with food, and not vice versa, given that we are constantly praying for accumulating more and more.

This is a wonderful break from the usual selfish infinite list of “I want”s. If you think about it deeply, we really aren’t giving anything to the Lord. And how can we? We are the ones who have got everything from Him in the first place! But such actions still serve as an outstanding conduit for expressing our gratitude.

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Thud

A few years ago, my grandmother set out for an early evening walk around the colony.

The area had a lot of trees, and so was nice and green, while also providing decent shade from the sun.

Midway into her walk… and a large branch from a tall tree above, broke off and grazed her hand.

She returned home immediately, and had to put some medication, but it was nothing serious.

It might seem like this was a small incident, but she herself knew it’s importance. Not that the branch broke off, but where exactly she was at the time. Just one step to the right or left, and the branch would have hit her on the head. And with such a hard blow…

We may egoistically think we are in full control of our lives. But we don’t even know what can fall from the sky when we step out for an innocuous walk.

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Peace of mind

We are constantly worrying about the future, aren’t we?

How will I perform in a new job? How will I perform in a new family setup? How will my kids do? Will my family be able to cope? Will I be able to deliver my presentation well? Will I be able to get a promotion? Will I clear my impending exams and certifications? Will I be accepted by my peers and colleagues? Will I be able to provide for my family?

And on and on and on these questions go, with hardly any clarity.

And to make matters worse, with each passing day, more and more questions only keep getting added on to the pile.

Then how to get rid of these?

You can’t. That’s the simple answer.

The solution? To keep the mind occupied elsewhere. That’s the only way. I observe this in my Guru. Nearing 80 years of age, he spends not even one waking minute in isolation, thinking and wondering about the future, but is instead always engaged in karma yoga, action here and now. We just need to imitate.

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Renovation

We were doing some home renovation recently.

Workers would come in at 10 am, and work all the way till 9 pm. A few breaks for chai and lunch and the like.

But work they would. It’s brutal, painstaking, physical labour. Painting, carpentry, plumbing, masonry, you name it.

And they would work 7 days a week. Why? Because they are daily wage earners. One day off means one day off their wages as well.

They’re probably a 2 day train journey away from their families. So they have everything to crib about.

And yet, they take the time to smile and joke and laugh among themselves.

The actual work they do is not what is valuable. The attitude that keeps them happy inspite of it, is what is truly priceless.

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Scientific monkeys

We know we get nervous before important situations in life. How to understand this? Centuries of evolution has made the human brain react to circumstances in one of two ways. 1 – Monkey, or 2 – Scientist.

When in Monkey mode, the brain is scared, escapist, releasing cortisol and looking to run. In Scientist mode however, it is calm, relaxed and looking to learn.

How do we maximize Scientist mode over Monkey mode? We can learn from Firefighters. The first fire breakout for a new firefighter is a scary experience. But as s/he gets to their 20th fire, which could be 10x bigger than their first, they are cool, calm and collected. Why? Because they are prepared and have seen this before.

Therein lies a clue. Preparation helps. Like if you are scared of the time-crunch of a 3 hour exam, practise taking tests within 2.5 hours itself. Laughter helps too. No better way than laughing about a problem you are going through. All of this is maya anyway, and really doesn’t matter in the long run. More laughter = less cortisol!

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How much to donate?

Took a rickshaw ride to the metro station today. Turned out to be a very expensive one. Instead of paying x, I paid 10x.

Why? Because the rickshaw driver got a 10-second call in between, told me he just got news that his wife delivered twins, and congratulated himself. He then said all was good till 5 days ago when his father passed away. And that his wife was in ICU and that he had no money to buy her medicines. He wiped a (possibly) non-existent tear from his left eye too, whilst slapping his forehead a few times.

I gave him a little cash, and he asked for more because “medicines are expensive”. I told him that’s all I had, and he motioned to the QR code stuck on his vehicle and said I could transfer the money to him. To which I reminded him that the meter showed x, and that I’d just paid him 10x.

Even 10x really wasn’t a very big number – hardly anything. Maybe I should have been more generous – because what if he was being genuine? But some of this also seemed like it was pre-rehearsed. Was he lying? Was this a scam? I have no clue. No way of finding out.

My Guru says a) donate 10% of your post-tax income, and b) to make said donation only to the cause he has selected (education for the underprivileged). Why ‘only‘? Because he has already done the research, and knows the practical difficulties of trying to help everyone and supporting every cause. While ad-hoc folks asking for money like the example today is not uncommon in India, following principles ‘a’ and ‘b’ is what gives me peace of mind.

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Shifting gears

As someone who likes to drive, I’ve always been fascinated by car gears. Some have 4, some 5, some even 6. And there are those that have Reverse gears on the top left, and some on the bottom right. You know what I mean.

But I saw this crazy video recently of a long-haul truck, with wait for it, 18 gears! Eighteen! That is just insane.

But the number 18 is interesting. It is also the number of chapters in the Gita.

And regardless of the vehicle, just like we shift gears one to the next, once the destination has been reached, there is no alternative but to bring it to neutral.

Just as in the Gita, we can go from one chapter to the next and back, but ultimately, we’ve to reach nothing but the neutral state. One of permanent stability and everlasting peace.

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Inflation

There’s inflation everywhere now.

The whole world is talking about it, and the whole world is reeling from it as well.

Many shelves are empty, especially electronics with semi-conductor chips in them.

In developed countries, wage inflation is so rampant, that 5 star hotels have stopped room service, and many restaurants and bars have been clubbed together.

Inflation is pinching everyone.

But there’s one type of inflation that pinches the most.

And this is called the inflated ego. No explanation necessary 😄

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Scare tactics

My Guru has this very funny joke.

He says that if you don’t like someone for whatever reason, and want to get rid of them, then what is a foolproof way?

  1. just invite that person home for a satsang, and give them a copy of some scriptural book.

    It is quite likely that that person will never come back again.

    And if they do…
  2. Pick up another copy of the same scripture you gave them, and ask them if they read chapter 5 or 6 or whichever.

    That’s a foolproof way right there – so much fun even in spirituality!

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Ableknowledge

How much do we really know?

We think we know a lot. Sometimes we feel like we know everything. And that others around us know very little. Especially if there is a new joinee on the team.

It used to boggle my mind, that for the IIT JEE, probably the most competitive entrance exam in the world, the top scorer would often not score even 50%!

It still boggles my mind.

In chapter 7, verse 1 of the Gita though, the Lord says he will give Arjuna the complete knowledge. There will be no doubts. He just needs to set his ego aside.

Isn’t this awesome?

The highest knowledge is that, in which there remains no curiosity, which is not followed by any logic and which leaves no room for imagination.

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Give or take

There’s this YouTube video with several million likes.

Its premise is this. The protagonist is out on the street, asking for a few dollars from passersby.

Most avoid him like the plague. Not surprising.

But the catch? He gives 100x back to anyone who gives him any money.

One guy gives a dollar, and gets back 100$. A lady gives 10$ and gets back a thousand!

People are so damn happy when they get the money, totally unexpected.

But there’s just one lady at the end of the video, who not just gives the protagonist some money, but also refuses to take the 100x. “Pay it forward, to someone who needs it more”, she says.

Would have been so good to have more like her, but clearly such people are rare. There are more people that would take a 100x from someone they don’t know. But lesser than those who would not stop to help in the first place 🤷

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Stone throw

We know this story, but it is worth recollecting again.

There was a wise woman traveling in the mountains. She found a precious stone. The following day she met another traveller who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveller saw the precious stone at that time, and asked the lady for it.

She handed the precious stone over with zero hesitation. The traveller left, happy like never before. He thought he was now set for life.

But he came back shortly thereafter, to return the stone to the wise lady.

Why? Because he told her he wanted something even more precious than the precious stone. What could that be?

Only the ability and attitude to be able to give away something so precious in the first place.

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Prayers don’t work – part 2 of 2

Okay, time for the big reveal!

What 5.14 is saying, is that the Lord doesn’t interfere in our karmic world, or our actions and reactions. However, this “Lord”, is nirguna (no gunas, i.e. no qualities), the formless nameless substratum of all existence, aka Brahman, Paramatman etc.

The prayers we offer however, are not to this nirguna Lord, but to the so-called ‘lower’ deities. These deities like Hanuman or Ganesha or Shiva and so on are all part of the same formless “Lord”, but they had also taken up specific forms for specific purposes in this world. It is believed they still exist, albeit in an astral body / energy form, and that is why we pray to these deities for various reasons. Like to Ganesha to get rid of obstacles, to Hanuman for victory and fearlessness and so on.

There are also various rules that have been codified. Such as if there is a 5-syllable mantra like Na-mah-shi-vaa-yah, and it is chanted 5-lakh times with faith and devotion, then the deity will manifest. These rules are all created by the Original Creator aka the nirguna Lord, but he does not participate in them. Neither are we praying to him, because he can’t be encapsulated, not even in words!

This is why my Guru’s trick-question is such an outstanding one.

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Prayers don’t work – part 1 of 2

In verse 5.14 of the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says that the Lord does not interfere in the karma of anyone. That nature alone functions.

Many years ago, my Guru threw this to me as a brainteaser. He asked, “When the Lord is so clear that there is zero interference, and that we each sow what we reap, then why do we pray?”

The answers to this confounding question often go something like, “We pray so that we ask for more faith, more strength, more spiritual awakening etc. etc.”, primarily in an attempt to tie it away from material matters.

However, even these don’t answer it fully, because the Lord says he doesn’t interfere at all, no matter whether for infusing money into our pockets or more faith in our hearts!

What could the answer be then? Revealed tomorrow, after you’ve had the chance to give it some more thought 🙂

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Desert rose

“Oh desert rose eh ley hi ey ley…” crooned the legendary singer Sting many years ago.

I have never figured out the words after ‘rose’, but that’s digressing from the point.

No one likes deserts no? Not desserts, which are universally loved (except by the 22 year old trying desperately to get his abs to show!), but the dry arid landscapes that parch your throat just by thinking about them.

A dry barren dune-filled land is always considered infertile and useless. “What will anyone do with such a place?” is the first thing that comes to mind.

But even weaknesses can be turned into strengths. That’s my learning. We know this, but still get dejected in the face of adversity. Here’s a nice line I saw about the Indian state of Rajasthan, as part of a tourism advertisement.

“A pioneer in the green revolution (to generate solar energy) in India with 300-330 sunny days a year, which is comparable to the deserts of California and Nevada!”

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Stomach prayers

It’s a common sight at the Big Fat Indian Weddings.

There’s a lot of food, like truckloads of it. And often spread across 4 or 5 days.

After a recent wedding, many people fell ill, suffering from food poisoning and sore throat and what not.

The immediate thought is to pray to God for these people, and hope that they will not suffer too much.

The next thought though is, why to bring God and trouble him with these petty things? Aren’t we mature enough to know what to eat, when to stop eating, what constitutes ‘moderation’?

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Ageless

If you are middle aged and have many years of experience, would you work for a teenager? Probably not, right? Huge career risk perhaps, and their lack of experience means you may not learn much. Besides, working for someone that much younger than you could be a bit weird.

That thinking is passé now.

No I’m not saying this frivolously.

I recently discovered that one of the hyperlocal apps that I use is a billion dollar company run by two teenagers!

Of course no one can see the future and how risky it can be. But surely in this day and age, age is no bar. Execution of an idea (perseverance, patience) trumps everything else. Good advice for spirituality as well.

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Beyond home and work – part 8 of 8

Continued from yesterday:

How has Satsang helped me?

It has brought discipline to my life.

Satsang has made me less concerned about money – not that money doesn’t matter, but my happiness doesn’t revolve around it as much.

Satsang has given me more peace, and the ability to step back and look at situations more holistically, and not being sad immediately or for too long if something doesn’t happen the way I expect it to.

Satsang has made me a part of larger community – there are so many close friends here in satsang, it is more like a huge extended family.

Very importantly, satsang has brought a noble / everlasting mission and direction to life, beyond just the mundane home and work.

Last but not least, through the Guru’s grace and blessings, satsang brings miracles not just sporadically but daily.

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Beyond home and work – part 7 of 8

Continued from yesterday:

And satsang isn’t just about singing bhajans, or chanting mantras or some other boring sounding stuff.

Then what does satsang help us give up?

Satsang helps us give up our anxiety, our stress, our jealousy, our anger, our greed, our fear.

Satsang helps us do our dharma.

How?

Most people say dharma is religion. No dharma is not religion. Dharma is really the art of balance.

How to balance all the taking with the giving, that is dharma. and that is why satsang helps us in our dharma.

Continued tomorrow…

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Beyond home and work – part 6 of 8

Continued from yesterday:

Imagine you had to setup a justice system, your own justice system. You are the Chief Judge. That’s right. You decide the law. You are the law! Would you favour the ones who are only taking-taking-taking? Probably not, right?

How does this get balanced out? Because at home we are taking-taking-taking, at work also taking-taking-taking – money, bonus, position etc. Then when to give?

That’s exactly what satsang can help with. – to kickstart our giving process, and also the giving-up process. To give-up what? Your money? No, SS doesn’t need your hard-earned money.

Continued tomorrow…

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Beyond home and work – part 5 of 8

Continued from yesterday:

So here is something for each one of us to think about deeply.

Everything we each have succeeded in today, can we really say with 100% confidence that it is all solely because of us? The marks we got in school? Yes we studied of course, but teachers helped, parents helped, someone wrote a question paper, someone wrote a book, someone invented or discovered something that could be written about in the first place – and on and on!

Same for the bonuses and promotions we got at work, somebody trained us, someone recognized us, someone provided us with a job to be, someone invented a computer decades ago, without which much of our work wouldn’t even get done!

It’s not that we should not get credit for our actions, but think about it, and we’ve really just been taking-taking-taking from day 1.

Continued tomorrow…

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Beyond home and work – part 4 of 8

Continued from yesterday:

One-and-a-half hours later, there was still no respite, and people started getting angry and stressed. Some were shouting, others were fighting, some started live-tweeting their frustration, babies were crying – it was just total and complete chaos.

And it was immediately evident, that even outside of home and work, stress and anger can cause the entire day to become unproductive.

Because yes this got sorted and people checked-in and all. But even after the flight was over and we landed at the destination, there were some people arguing with each other about having cut in front of them into the line in the morning and how they have no manners and such!

Continued tomorrow…

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Beyond home and work – part 3 of 8

Continued from yesterday:

It might seem that satsang and its benefits are important in two large parts of our lives, home and office.

This is true of course, but if you draw a Venn diagram, you’ll have one circle with Work, another circle with Home, and the part where both intersect (that post-2020 is called work-from-home!).

But even outside of that, there is life and so much stress and anxiety, and really there is no aspect of life that satsang cannot touch and transform.

I recently had to take an early morning flight. As early as 3 am, there were serpentine queues, with people of all ages waiting to check-in. There were literally 100s of passengers, and just two open check-in counters. Crazy isn’t it?

Continued tomorrow…

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Beyond home and work – part 2 of 8

Continued from yesterday:

For many of us, the question will be, “Really? Is there even anything outside of work and home?” “With weekdays and weekends both just flying past in a complete blur?”

But there still are things that frequently upset us – like:

  • struggling with our workout schedules,
  • not being able to take vacations, or even worse
  • taking vacations but mentally still being unable to relax;
  • or we may have doubts on what the right decision to make is, given a certain set of circumstances;
  • or there may be an inability to maintain true friendships – we may be online all the time on social media, and yet feel extremely lonely and disconnected,

and on and on and on….

Continued tomorrow…

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Beyond home and work – part 1 of 8

Recently, I was given the opportunity to address a youth satsang session on the topic “Satsang beyond home and work”. Here is the gist of the contents, split over a few parts, just to make it easy to consume.

“You remember those childhood days where we used to play some sport with a bat and a ball? And there’d be 3 kids, one would own the bat, the second would own the ball, and this third kid would own neither and so he only gets to be the fielder!?

Well I’m the fielder today, because after two very powerful talks on satsang @ home and satsang @ the office, I’ve got this task to field every other life situation that falls neither under the office or under the home.

For many of us, the question will be, “Really? Is there even anything outside of work and home?”

Continued tomorrow…

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Classy

As I board a 16 hour flight for a business trip, I see people seated in different parts of the airplane.

The majority are in Economy.

The minority are divided between First and Business.

Everyone reaches the same destination, no partiality there.

But the journey? Vastly different, whether quality of service, legroom or food and beverage options etc.

No different than life outside an aircraft.

The end game is fixed. But the journey is what matters – what we do, what we make of it, and how we impact those around us.

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Smile and a wave

My building’s watchman today gave me a smile and a wave. So did his wife.

I was traveling, and hence hadn’t seen them in a few weeks.

It doesn’t mean much, someone smiling. Big deal. Even though many people choose to keep morose faces throughout the day.

But this ageing couple smiling and waving is special.

Just a couple of days ago, the watchman’s wife went into cancer remission. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the watchman suddenly got heart problems and needed to be operated upon immediately.

Do these guys have enough money saved up for taking care of their healthcare needs? Certainly not. What do they do? Take a loan of course. And you can be sure that their interest rates aren’t pretty.

They have it tough right now. Really really tough.

And yet they are able to smile and wave. What a mindset!

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Godliness lonliness

While checking out from a recent hotel stay, the receptionist, a man in his 50s, suddenly asked if I believed in God and in miracles.

Why would he ask me such a thing out of the blue? I really have no clue.

He told me, that two decades ago, he had to go to his hometown, a small village in India.

Due to transportation delays, he only managed to reach at 3 am, and was dropped off in the middle of nowhere, and it was dark, raining and potentially dangerous.

With an infant in his arms, and his wife in tow, he prayed for a miracle. In 5 minutes, he said a man appeared seemingly from nowhere. He managed to find an auto rickshaw for them, negotiated a decent rate, and even rode with them all the way to their final destination.

The receptionist then said, that as soon as they reached their home safe and sound, and stepped out of the auto rickshaw, within seconds, that helpful man was nowhere to be seen. Poof. Gone. He was convinced that man could have been none other than God. What do you think?

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PeaZzzz

Saw the craziest thing today.

Was stuck in a traffic jam for what seemed like ages.

Everyone there was frustrated, irritated, angry, and likely hungry too.

The tension in the air was translating into louder and louder horns.

Much like a glass filled with stones still has space for sand, the road too with large trucks and buses was choc a block full with bikes, cycles and pedestrians.

There was literally nowhere to go. It was completely maddening, with nary a second of silence.

But to my amazement, in the corner on the pavement, was a hairy homeless man. He was fast asleep, totally unbothered by the din around him. A peaceful smile covered his face, and if he didn’t awaken with all that hullabaloo, he might as well have been deaf.

There is chaos in our lives all the time. But to drown it out is what could differentiate the happy from the rest.

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Hailer

Ride hailing services in India at least have become funny.

Years ago, if you’d want to take a ride in the middle of the night, you’d have to already know a cab driver who’d come and pick you up. Heaven forbid if he slept off or forgot, that would have been a missed flight right there.

Now if you want to hail a ride, you select it on the app. The driver first calls you to find out where you want to go. If he doesn’t like your destination, he will cancel the ride. This can happen 3-4 times before you are successful in booking a cab. When the cabbie comes, he will ask if you will pay by cash. This is because ride hailing companies only pay their drivers at the end of the week. And then the driver will insist on “cancelling the ride on the app”, so that he can pocket the entire fare for himself.

As mentioned in the Gita, all progress is the Lord’s creation only. But progress comes with its own challenges. Because of the involvement of the human mind – bringing with it greed, anger, jealousy and fear.

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Trigger

Someone I know was faced with a really tough situation recently.

He struggled at first – just like anyone else in that situation would have.

And then he did something amazing.

He declared that this tough situation is nothing but a trigger.

A trigger for him to correct his earlier mistakes. To fast track some changes that were on the backburner. And to ensure that the situation is viewed as nothing more than an opportunity to improve.

And what a change that made to his life.

Just phenomenal how a change in attitude can change your life.

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Unconditional

The world is struggling with racism.

It’s not just about black or white, but even shades within each.

Income inequality adds salt to the wounds.

As do title, wealth, power and status.

But all of this is acquired.

Observe any baby. Like an 8 month old.

They don’t care about your height or weight or the bald head or the mole on the chin.

They don’t even care if you are the parent, or the nanny.

They love unconditionally. That’s life in its purest form.

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10,000 by 3

Remember Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hour practice rule? You practice anything for 10,000 hours and you’ll become world class (like a concert violinist or pianist or a professional soccer or cricket player).

The breakup was that if you can practice something for 3 hours a day for 10 years, you’ll easily achieve an unparalleled level of expertise.

For many of us, even taking out 1 hour a day to do something we’d loosely classify as a “hobby” would be extremely difficult.

And if we did get the 1 hour out of an already maddening schedule, then it’d just be better to unwind with Netflix or Prime no?

One way I like to look at this, is to put in the 10,000 hours at our work. Our office job. The day job. Whatever it may be. And guess what, we work 9 hours a day anyway. So that’s 3 times more than the 3 hours per day needed for mastery in 10 years. Which means we could be masters at our work if we spend just 3.3 years!

Instead of spending time by the water cooler, gossiping and talking politics and what not, why not just use every single opportunity to learn, spend the 9 hours in the most efficient manner possible, and become the best-of-the-best in your line of work, whatever it might be? 😄

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Movjars & shakers

If you have a jar with red ants and black ants in it, nothing notable happens.

The ants just mind their own business and go their own ways.

But give the jar a shake, and apparently the ants take on each other. The black ones feel the red were the cause of the jar-quake, and vice versa. And they literally fight each other to the kill.

Deadly.

But they don’t realize that it’s not them that caused the problem, but the jar shaker.

Don’t we behave similarly as well?

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Vocal for social

Imagine a chaotic check-in scene at an airport. At least 300 passengers are waiting for their turn to dump their luggages and collect their boarding passes. All in serpentine queues that would put a new iPhone launch line to shame.

There are many that have their flights departing in under an hour, and so the line-cutting begins. It’s chaos. It’s madness. It’s chaotic madness.

And then as one elderly chap begins to raise his voice against the (terribly) understaffed counters, a smart employee in counter 1 asks him to come over so that he could quickly be serviced, and more importantly, silenced.

What would most people do in such a situation? Take the shortcut right? The guy should have quickly taken his family to that counter, cutting ahead of at least a 100 passengers, simply because he raised his voice.

But that’s not what he did. He made his family stay back in line, went to that counter and reprimanded the employee for encouraging such shortcut behavior. He then proceeded to manage the line (and force other cutters to go back in-line) until his family got to the counter, after waiting in line. A role model citizen if there was one!

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VVP – part 2

We looked at Vyakti Vastu Paristhithi yesterday.

Today is another VVP. Something called a Value Validation Project.

I came across this awesome concept online. It’s amazingly helpful if you want to land a new job. It’s also amazing if you want to know if you want that job in the first place.

What does VVP involve? If you are applying for a job as a coder (say), the easiest thing is to click the ‘Apply’ button, ship your CV to the recruitment team, and hope for a response, just like a million other applicants.

But how to stand out? By validating your value, via a project. Use the opportunity to code something now itself for your prospective employer, so they see what you can do for them once you join.

This is not limited to coding of course, but can be used in any field. Value validation is not easy, but worth it. Shreyas over Preyas.

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VVP

This is how the world is deconstructed in the spiritual context.

Vyakti. Vastu. Paristhithi.

Person. Object. Situation.

According to the Gita and other Vedic texts, all of life revolves around these three and the interplay between them.

Why does this matter?

Because it tells us what is important. Or rather what is not.

Can any of these 3 – whether in isolation or in combination – bring us permanent happiness?

The answer is an emphatic No. Hence VVP helps us contextualise what is truly valuable.

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Fired up

‘Tis the time of The Great Resignation.

Some are leaving the workforce altogether, while others are leaving for better jobs.

The latter often find fatter paychecks elsewhere.

If a person’s salary was 100, and they asked for 120, sometimes they’re let go, only to be replaced by someone with a salary of 150. Isn’t that insane?

As they say, train someone so well that they can leave anytime. But treat them so well that they never want to leave.

Nice saying, but does anyone implement this in real life?

Most retention exercises are purely fire fighting exercises. Running from pillar to post to douse out the flames.

Why not start by not having any fires in the first place?

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Extreme meditation

Chapter 6 of the Gita is all about meditation. Funny then, that verses 16 and 17 would talk about moderation in food. Is there really any sort of connection?

A very deep one in fact.

A spiritual aspirant may think that “we are all Brahman, we are not the body”. And such a person might decide to eat too much or too little, and in general become careless about his/her health.

As we very well know though, if we are sick, then there is little ability to get any work done – whether material or spiritual (including meditation progress or prowess).

That’s why Krishna makes it very clear in this verse, that extremes won’t do. The body is the tool and vehicle provided to us to achieve our spiritual objectives. The mind might like extremes, especially good ones, but the body thrives on moderation.

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RR

Given this is cricket and IPL season in India, one could be forgiven to think this post’s title is the name of one of the prominent teams.

But a new RR I came across.

Maybe an RisR in fact.

The first R for Rejection.

The second R for Redirection.

Because any time at all, when we feel like soemthing did not work out the way we expected, we must always remember that Rejection is nothing more than Redirection.

RR is my new mantra. Hard to follow, but worth trying for mental peace.

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Concluder

It was my good fortune to visit a devout family recently.

Everyone gathered around their altar for a beautiful aarti.

Wonderful bhajans were sung, bells were rung, and the essence of agarbatti filled the air.

Everyone was engrossed in the Lord, while the old grandfather in the house was lying on the couch in the next room, engrossed in a cricket match.

“Why would he not come here?”, I thought to myself. I quickly concluded in my mind: “He must be one of those staunch atheists. Completely against what the rest of the family believes in, preferring his favorite sports to anything remotely spiritual.”

Until, a few days later, I saw the old man again, this time in a wheelchair. He couldn’t even stand up on his own, let alone walk. No wonder he didn’t join the ritual. A fitting lesson for the concluder in me.

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Rich people

On a recent business trip, the cabbie was a chatty fellow.

Looking at where our hotel was (apparently in a posh locality, although the hotel itself wasn’t!), he said “Are you guys from the top of the food chain in your country?”

We tried to deflect, “No, no, no such thing, our travel agent just happened to find this hotel convenient for our meetings and such.”

To which he quickly replied, “Hey I have no problems with rich people, none of that inequality angle or the attitude or jealousy or anything. In fact I like rich people, because they’re the ones that keep my business running!”

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Aww-scarred

In an awards ceremony, the host made a joke about a man’s wife.

The man got up from the audience, walked to the stage, and slapped the host on his face.

The host was stunned, but carried on, as though nothing much had happened.

The man went back to his seat, and loudly reprimanded the host for talking about his wife.

Is it okay for people to make lewd jokes in public?

Is it okay for people to take matters into their own hands literally, with physical violence?

Is this a reflection of the times we live in?

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A life of minutes

Many ask why we need to read the same scriptural books again and again.

It’s the same messages only, said in myriad ways.

No anger, no jealously, no greed, no fear, no this no that.

Surely we don’t need to keep reading again and again?

I came across a boardgame called Othello.

Here’s what it said on the box, which is also very relevant for the spiritual repetition we just discussed above:

“It takes a minute to learn, but a lifetime to master!”

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Long short

One of the blue collar workers I know has an amazing vision. She’s from a really far away place, needing hours of public transport rides to get to the nearest city. And then hours of flying to the nearest metro.

But her vision is to bring her entire family to the metro. Pretty amazing. And what will she do after that? She will work odd jobs of course. Two jobs, maybe three a day. But that could be too much no?

Nope, she doesn’t even begin to understand the concept of a holiday. Her only thought is to make enough money to support her kids. “Who needs a holiday? If I take a holiday, I won’t get paid that day, and what will I do on a holiday anyway?” she asks innocently.

Folks like her are sorted in life. Karma yoga is all they know. No worrying about what new skill to pick up during the weekend, or which holiday jaunt to shuttle to and then put on insta, and so on. There is no day-to-day long-term vision leading to anxiety. There is only short term work associated with a single goal of providing for her loved ones.

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Machiavelli Neeti

You must have heard of Chanakya Neeti. It is extremely famous in India at least. Chanakya was easily the best kingmaker ever.

All of his laws, rules, suggestions, principles – call them what you will, have been codified into what is called Chanakya Neeti.

There are plenty of books available on the topic. His thought process is truly marvellous.

I happened to be in a restaurant recently that also had a small library. One of the books there was Chanakya Neeti.

I picked it up, but was distraught at the title. Okay not that upset or anything, but it was funny, bordering on silly. It said this bright and bold, up on the cover page itself. “The Machiavelli of India.” Wait, What?!

I quickly did a Google search. Just as expected, Machiavelli was born in the 1400s, while Chanakya was born in 375 BC!

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Negative to positive

Many people think that visualization is a farce. That positive reaffirmations do not work. That our minds are not really that powerful.

But just look on the flip side. If someone says something mean to us, we feel so angry. If we don’t clear an interview, we feel like the world has come to an end. That we are not even worth a job. If we have to present something in front of a group, we start feeling nervous, maybe the tummy goes for a toss too. These are all absolutely normal.

But these are all also linked to the mind only. The same mean comment, interview and presentation would mean nothing a few months or years down the line, even if they do not go in our favor. But today they do matter, and the mind getting so restless due to the uncertainty can itself cause bad results.

If this is the case for negative outcomes, why can’t the reverse be true for positive outcomes?

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With much aplumb

The drain in the washroom where we were temporarily residing recently had got clogged. Pretty common occurrence, especially if some hair or other small item goes and gets stuck. It could also be because of dirt (aka muck) getting accumulated over time.

The easy part is to just call the plumber.

What a tough job. The guy came in a few minutes. And where’s we’d otherwise squeam or cringe before even going near the drain, this chap was cool as a cucumber.

He wasn’t even wearing any gloves. He just unscrewed the perforated drain cover and stuck his hand inside, to check what the problem was. Of course his hand got dirty, and it wasn’t even dirt that he caused! But a quick check, and he smiled, “I found the cause of the problem, it’s some blockage outside.”

And bounced off to the other side of the building, ladder in tow, in order to ‘reach’ the area of the problem. 10 minutes later, all was fine and dandy. Never seen a guy stick his hand into a drain and still maintain a smile. I couldn’t do it, surely. My work is infinitely better, yet I find ways to be unhappy 🤷

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Temple twitter

Before the pandemic and the lockdowns and all that, going to a temple would be a normal affair. Either once a week, or a fortnight or a month, or whenever.

Stand in serpentine queues for hours, get a darshan for a couple of seconds, and then get jostled away by the guards.

My Guru used to suggest (and still does!) praying to Lord Siddhivinayak, chief of the problem solvers and obstacle crushers.

While I’ve been to Siddhivinayak temple many times, I hardly had the time to note the specifics.

But that’s all changed now. Technology has brought Siddhivinayak home, into our hands through our screens.

Check out his outstandingly beautiful Twitter page right here. Available 24×7, and in unbelievable high-res beauty. Similar pages exist for many/most temples now. What more could any devotee ask for?

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Changeless

Change is the only constant. We’ve heard this ad infinitum. Be ready for change. Be prepared for change. Be adaptable.

Yes, it’s all true, and necessary.

And yet, when Jeff Bezos was asked many years ago, “What do you think will change 10 years from now?”, he coolly flipped the question.

“Let me tell you what won’t change 10 years from now. That customers will want discounts. And that they will want fast delivery.”

That’s pretty much what has happened now, many many years later.

Focusing on what won’t change is a stellar strategy. Spirituality says the same thing. There is only one thing that is truly changeless. Nothing else needs any attention.

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True Knowledge

We’ve all heard of the story of the dead machine right? One fellow had his machine messed up and just could not manage to fix it. He tried all sorts of things from all sorts of manuals, but no luck. Finally he called the mechanic, who took a look at the machine, fished out his pencil, and then tapped at one corner. The machine immediately sprung to life. So the owner asked for the bill, and he was told 10,000$! Wow, so much for just a tap? “Yes yes”, the mechanic said, “because it’s not the tapping that matters, but knowing where exactly to tap!”

I was reminded of this story on a recent trip to a really really cold place. The heater in the hotel room wasn’t working. After calling up the help desk several times, and them sending housekeeping to replace multiple heaters, nothing was doing the trick. There were no other rooms to move out to because the hotel was full. At dinner, it so happened that I bumped into the owner of the hotel. He enquired if my stay was alright, and I said of course all was good, and also brought up this point on the heaters. He immediately said, “Don’t worry, the room that you are in has electric blankets under the beds. Let me send my person to show you how.” And that’s what he did. It was hidden under the covers, and no one else in the housekeeping team seemed to know about it. A potentially very cold experience turned into a warm one!

In the materialistic world we live in, knowledge is key. In the spiritual world too, only a Guru who has truly experienced the Knowledge, really knows how to take us out of our cycle of births and deaths.

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Advaitic duality

The concept of Advaita or non-duality is always confusing.

So a man once asked Adi Shankaracharya himself, the foremost proponent of the field. “You say we are all the same deep within, the same Brahman. Then why are we not all equal? We all have the same blood flowing through our bodies do we not?”

To which Adi Shankara replied that advaita needed to be practiced at the level of one’s attitude and thoughts.

The man wasn’t convinced, and proceeded to argue further.

Adi Shankara replied, “Your mother, sister, mother-in-law, daughter – they are all women aren’t they? Yet, can you treat your mother as your wife, and your wife as your daughter, your daughter as your mother?”

The man understood.

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Showerma – part 2 of 2

A good friend narrated this incident to me.

He had travelled for an educational workshop to some remote villages in the northern most tip of the country.

Suffice it to say, that it got very very cold there.

Most folks didn’t take bath there for days, he told me.

But he came across one child, enjoying his bath, out in the open, wearing just a small half-pant, and singing bhajans of the Lord.

My friend asked him how he could be so happy when the climate and the water are so cold.

The child’s reply? “Arre sir, kam se kam, yahaan paani toh hai na!” (at the very least, water is available here!)

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Yearning pool

The intense yearning for liberation or moksha is called mumukshatwam in Sanskrit.

What does this intense yearning look like?

There’s a story about the great Swami Vivekananda with his Guru Sri Ramakrishna Paramhamsa. Apparently the former had this very same question too. So his Guru asked him to take a dip in the Hooghly river in Calcutta (or Kolkata). And then pushed his head down in the water (like the villain would do to a hero in a Hollywood movie, and vice versa in a Bollywood movie!) not allowing Vivekananda to come up for air.

Needless to say, the only intense yearning at that point was for oxygen. Not any money or or material objects.

That was how much intense yearning was required for moksha as well.

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Showerma – part 1 of 2

When my house was being renovated recently, I had to move out to another temporary accommodation.

The shower at my home was good. The nice, warm and powerful type, rather than just a cold trickle.

In this new temp place, the shower didn’t work. So back to old style bucket and mug it was. So be it.

A few days later, I had to travel up north. The temperature was -5. The hotel I was staying at, didn’t just have a shower, but their water heater was also broken. Brrrrr. That was a terrible experience.

And then a few days later, I was back to my temp accommodation. I couldn’t care less about the shower, as long as there was some hot water.

What a quick change in perspective!

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Job interfeud

In a recent interview, a candidate was just perfect, on paper.

We could not have hoped for better experience or credentials.

But when we gave her a follow-on request via HR to provide some written answers to a few technical answers, she replied that she had already discussed some of these answers in the interview itself and hence didn’t want to repeat herself 🤷

A couple of times during the interview too, she said some things that made it seem like attitude was an issue.

We discussed this later, and every person who interacted with her over the course of a few days felt the same way – that her attitude was a challenge.

The decision was unanimous. We can take someone who is not as good technically, but can surely be trained. But it would be disastrous to take someone who does not have EQ or DQ (remember?), because this mostly cannot be taught, and not at this age anyway.

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Slippery guidance

On a recent snow trek, we decided to engage a guide. Neither were we good trekkers, nor were we accustomed to the snow. Surely having a guide would be paramount?

The first thing he told us was to change into rubber boots, which he helpfully provided. And then we proceeded to climb.

En route, we saw a group of fellows creating quite the racket. They neither seemed interested in the abounding natural beauty, nor were they dressed for it. They wore slippers or sneakers (on a snow trek!), and our guide mentioned to us that these guys were going to face problems especially on their descent. We watched as the tumbled many a time, not just hurting themselves, but also endangering others.

The path itself was narrow, and given heaps of snow, losing direction was a real risk. No problem with a guide, but a few who were attempting to save a few bucks also found themselves lost.

Krishna says in the Gita that spirituality and the material world is like a forest. One needs a guide (aka Guru) to deliver them to the destination. Great advice.

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Elevator pitch

We all know the electricity analogy for Barhman or Arman right? We might not be able to see the Atman in us, but that’s the divine force driving everything. Just like we can’t see electricity, but that’s what powers all our appliances.

Here’s a short story. A villager came to visit his city cousin. They both got into an elevator, and they started moving up at a great speed. The villager was mighty impressed, “Wow at the touch of a button you are able to make us go so high!”

A few seconds later, there was a power cut and the elevator stopped midway. “Can’t you press the button again and do anything?”, the villager asked his city cousin. To which the latter remarked, “No sorry, it’s all ultimately driven by electricity only.”

This is no different from the Divine within us which is solely responsible for all our achievements and successes. So then, why this much ego?

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TTSP

This Too Shall Pass

We’ve all heard this hundreds of times, if not more. If something does not go as planned, if it appears that we may have failed in something, and we are really dejected about it, then TTSP comes up immediately.

And it’s truly a great phrase. Everything is indeed transitory.

But this phrase is usually used only for bad times. However, even the good times are equally transitory. The promotion doesn’t last, the bonus doesn’t last, the new car doesn’t stay new for more than a few months.

TTSP is the common thread across all our life experiences. All except one. The true SatChitAnanda.

As Lord Krishna says in the Gita Chp 9 verse 33, “Having come to this transient and joyless human life, constantly worship Me.”

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Spiritual desires

A recent visit to the mountains provided me the opportunity to bump into a Tarot card reader.

We were discussing a few things, generally.

And then I asked her a question. “When will I evolve spiritually? When can I have some spiritual experiences?”

Pat came her answer.

“If you are living in the moment, if you are enjoying your work, if you are happily supporting your family, then that is no different from a spiritually evolved soul. You only need to answer to yourself, if you are living this way.”

Simple, yet profound, no?

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Dozer reality

One ex-colleague in a previous workplace used to sometimes nod off during meetings.

This obviously became a well known joke.

People being people, no matter their age, would even create a meme video or two.

Not that he dozed off every day during every meeting, but there were a few occassions.

While its easy to conclude many things including his lack of interest and what not, the reality was different (which we can rarely see on the surface).

His kid needed a special school, which was 2 hours away from his work. He sacrificed proximity to his workplace for the sake of his child. Which meant he had to use public transport to commute 4 hours a day, also necessitating waking up 2 hours earlier than most. Given he was very good at his work, a 5 minute snooze means nothing no?

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Chanakya Neeti – part 3 of 3

Some more awesome words from Chanakya to close out this 3 part series:

  1. A moneyless man is not poor if he has the knowledge. There is no doubt that brain power is the mightiest power.
  2. Separation from one another should not be turned into a life long sorrow. Give due respect to the law of nature.
  3. Kith and kin get pleased with good food, while the learned ones only require a few good words to be satisfied.
  4. People who are polite and gentle to their near and dear ones, who are compassionate to the deserving, who show no mercy to bad people, who are respectful to scholars, who bravely face the powerful, who display reverence to gurus, parents and spiritual teachers, control the new development.
  5. Mercy and compassion are the mothers of all religions, hence a person having such feelings becomes religious.
  6. A teacher who introduces his pupil to God, leaves an unpayable debt on his disciple.

So amazing isn’t it?

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Chanakya Neeti – part 2 of 3

Some more superb takeaways from Chanakya:

  1. In this universe, everyone wants something because no one is satisfied with his present position.
  2. All faiths are supposed to lead us to our Creator. This undying wish to reach God will survive everything. The only thing that is permanent in this world is faith.
  3. Money buys almost everything, hence it is the real power. The friends and family of a rich person neglect all his shortcomings because of his money. Time is the mightiest of all.
  4. Contentment is the purest form of happiness. Greed is the driving force of sin.
  5. The student, the servant, the traveler, the starving person and the guard should be woken up immediately if found sleeping at the time of work.

What clarity no? Concluded tomorrow!

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Chanakya Neeti – part 1 of 3

Just a few lovely takeaways from The Real Chanakya! (a book published by a Dheeraj Publications, and it does not name an author)

  1. The tongue is the greatest war monger. Silence is another name for tolerance, and a guarantee for peace.
  2. There is no question of putting faith in a bad friend. Even a good friend should be kept away from your personal and business secrets. These secrets can be used against you anytime.
  3. One must always assess oneself frequently. This practice will help the person take corrective actions in time to avoid any crisis.
  4. Troubles should be feared till they don’t come in front of us. Make efforts to avert them. But if they come, forget fear, and fight instead.
  5. A frank person can’t be a cheat because cheating needs secrecy and double talk. Polite talking needs cleverness cultivated through education.

Some more brilliant Chanakya thoughts tomorrow!

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Cake eater

Just traipsed into a cafe for breakfast. Wasn’t in the mood to eat anything.

But I was hungry nevertheless. With a bunch of thoughts about my ever growing to-do list, I sat at the corner after ordering a sandwich.

“The grill isn’t warmed up yet sir, it will take 15 to 20 minutes, hope you aren’t in a hurry”, said the man at the counter, wearing a friendly smile.

“No hurry at all”, and I went back to my thoughts. My eyes fell on a bunch of lovely looking cakes. Cream filled, multi layered, cheesecakey-dripping – just too yummy each one seemed.

And then, something else caught my eye. At the far corner of the room, an elderly man, probably in his seventies, white long beard and all, sat tending to some cakes. Nay, he was making them!

Never have I seen someone enjoy their craft so much. He was totally at ease. And totally unimpacted by all the noise around him. So many people moving past him, placing their orders, waiters at the tables, children screaming or crying. But no, completely at peace. And in harmony, with nothing more in focus than his cake. The love for his cake creation, was immediately manifesting in the beauty of the final product, and the demand for the pastries.

Truly karma yoga in action.

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Key, da!

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”, is what French philosopher Pascal once said. Bang on he was of course.

In Hindi, this is also known as ‘keeda’. Well not literally, because keeda only means insect. However, do imagine a small insect running around in your mind, with the latter unable to sit still.

That’s a keeda for you. Everything is perfect, life is great, the job is great, the pay is great, and yet, you want something more. You feel like something is missing, even though to an outsider, your life would look absolutely perfect. That’s a keeda in action.

How to get out of this feeling? Because everyone’s experiencing it most of the time. What’s the solution – the key, da? (to use some Tamil slang as well).

As my Guru keeps saying, the only way, is “to realize the futility of it all”. So many greats have come and gone. Where are all their worries and troubles now? Where will ours be in a 100 years?

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Pretrust

A friend of mine who runs a very successful start-up said something very nice recently.

It was about tipping.

Most people tip, like at the salon, or a restaurant or such. If the service was great, we may tip more, and if not that great, then we may tip less.

But he was talking about the brilliant effect of tipping before the service even starts.

His thought process was, that the service providers are often expectant of a tip, but unsure of whether they will get one or not. Because not everyone tips. Hence giving the tip upfront puts the receiver at ease.

But no. In a conversation with his own barber, who he tipped beforehand, he got a different reason. The guy told him that it was not about the surety of money, but the surety of trust. The trust placed on the service provider of superlative service, even before the service began. Such a nice way to think about this isn’t it?

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Affirmative

There’s a new-age fintech company called Affirm. This company uses technology to enable people to buy things now and pay for them later (in instalments).

It’s become a big deal and all, as more people who couldn’t afford larger ticket lumpsum-payment purchases, have now come into the customer fold.

In essence, it is allowing people to live (i.e. enjoy) life today, without worrying today itself about how to pony up the cash required.

I don’t know if this is a good thing or not, but it did spark another chain of thoughts. We are always told how we should focus on the present and not on the past or the future. Even if we decide to forget the past, how can we not be concerned by the future? We need to plan for it right, which means thinking about it today. How do we resolve this?

Perhaps a hint lies in the name of the firm above. My Guru places an excessive emphasis on positive visualizations and affirmations. If we practise these effectively, we are staying very much in the present, giving our minds a lot of support and positive energy, while indirectly shaping our futures. What do you think?

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Shiva cafe

On a recent trip to a Shiva temple, we had the opportunity to trek up a little hill. Why? Because there was a nearby waterfall, which the locals swore by.

We quickly fished out our phones to check the exact location (thanks GoogleMaps!).

Not only did we spot a waterfall on the map, but we also saw ‘Shiva Cafe’, located right in the middle of the water (on the map, not in real!).

Curiosity piqued and all, we quickly read up. It was a 1.5km hike to the top – not the easiest. But the cafe had amazing reviews – the views, the food, the ambience.

As we started our ascent, we realized it was definitely not an easy climb. However, we were also surprised by the fact that a number of others (old and young) were also trekking up to Shiva Cafe – the difficulty of the climb notwithstanding.

Of course the view was super from the top, but it also reminded me that quality of work trumps everything else. To receive good food and be treated well, people will climb mountains. Said differently, if we work as worship (karma yoga) and add value to others, there is no reason why others will not flock to acknowledge us.

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Candyman

We go for a brisk walk on most mornings. Usually along the perimeter of a small oval-shaped garden.

Some walk fast, others slow.

Everyone’s busy of course, minding their own business, lost in thought or a podcast or song.

One day, an old sickly uncle was walking really slow.

But he had a lovely smile on his face.

Even more, everyone passing by him got a smile on their faces too.

As we passed him, he motioned to us, put his hand in his pocket, took out two lychee candies, smiled, and gave those to us.

No idea who he was, or why he did that. But our faces had big smiles too 🙂

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Calcoolus

That title is enough to give me goosebumps. Reminders of several nightmares. What a mess those few years at school were. I couldn’t help but wonder why this topic was ever even included.

But in the real world, Calculus is what has made much progress possible. Without going into the examples (and even worse, the equations!), there is apparently little we could have achieved without Integration and Differentiation.

Despite my struggling to solve Calculus in school and college, it’s got amazing lessons for real life problems.

What is differentiation if it’s not about breaking complex problems, repeatedly, into smaller and smaller problems, until the smallest problem is solved. Integration is the reverse. Take those solved small problems, and keep building up from there.

What can we learn from this? That while we look for big solutions to our life problems, it’s the small good habits that really change our life. Fix the small (differentiation), and then aggregate those fixes to the large (integration).

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Equations

Remember the happiness equation (blog post) from Swami Chinmayananda?

Happiness = Desires Fulfilled / Desires Entertained

Here is another very similar one I came across in a podcast yesterday, attributed by the speaker to some Buddhist monks.

Satisfaction = Haves / Wants

This is somewhat an even shorter and easier representation of the same thing.

Reduce the denominator, increase satisfaction.

Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have any ‘wants’ though. They key is to cut the umbilical cord between ‘getting the wants’ and ‘being happy’.

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Uncommon drive

Pretty much every car driver I have come across would agree that driving at night is a bad idea.

Oncoming traffic lights are blinding, there are often no streetlights, and just the thought of getting waylaid or stranded in the middle of the night is enough to keep most night drivers at bay.

Not one fellow I met recently, who has been driving for decades now though.

I’m sure he didn’t have a choice, and driving at night was an occupational hazard for him. But he didn’t let that deter him.

With a wide smile, he explained how he loves driving at night. “The air is pure and clean, and there is less traffic. It is also safer, because I don’t need to depend on my horn, because my powerful headlights take care of visibility.”

Despite not being put in a good situation (“having to regularly drive at night”), he had totally accepted it, and was even selling the proposition to others! Quite the mindset to deal with adversity.

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Rural elite

So I met a nice guy recently, who owned a sizable plot of land.

It was an ancestral handover to him, so yes, free.

He had 3 cows, 6 dogs, 2 pigs, 4 hens, and a few other animals.

“I’m an animal lover!”, he exclaimed to me.

There was a lot of greenery on his farm, and he was growing a few vegetables at least. And he said he would sit a couple of hours daily, just taking in all the fresh cool unpolluted air.

All this seemed surreal, until he said that he was unhappy. That he wanted to move to the city, “for more opportunities”.

Here’s a fellow living my dream life, and I want to be where he’s at. But he wants to be where I’m at. Oh the irony.

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Assisted greatness

Just saw a very nice ad for a shaving razor by Gillette.

What’s the big deal now?

Oh so much build up for just another shaving razor. 🤦

How many blades have they got these days – Mach 3 or Mach 5? Or is it Mach 10?

I have lost count.

But the ad I just saw was different. Because it wasn’t about self-shaving, but rather ‘assisted shaving’.

First time I’m hearing about this concept. And apparently the Gillette Treo is the first and only product of its kind too.

Assisted shaving is to shave someone else – like someone paralyzed, or an elder in the family that is weak or sick and can’t tend to themselves.

Doing something for yourself is good, but assisting someone else? That’s just great.

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So enjoyable

In chapter 11 verse 33 of the Bhagavad Gita, the Lord uses the word “enjoy”.

Oh that’s great news isn’t it?

Because everyone thinks spirituality is boring and means the aspirant has to become boring as well. No smiling or laughing. Only sitting in a serious padmasana pose and meditating all day long. Know anyone who can really do this? Hardly.

That’s why the Lord is very clear. Do your duty well, and then enjoy the result. This is what he tells Arjuna in this outstanding shloka, “Therefore do arise and win glory. Conquering foes, enjoy the affluent kingdom. These warriors already stand slain by me. Be you only an instrument.”

Isn’t this just amazing advice? Don’t make your life boring and morose. Instead, do your duty, do not worry about the result, and have a grand gala time, enjoying the journey as well as the eventual result!

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CEO gets Tesla!

No big deal this blog post title you’d think. A CEO, rich fellow, can easily afford one. Okay now forget and move on.

But wait, this Tesla was not bought by the CEO, but gifted to him. And not just by anyone, but by his own employees. Wow, your own employees coming together and gifting a car worth USD 70,000! No mean feat.

How did this come about?

The CEO is Dan Price, the founder of Gravity Payments, a payments processing company. In 2016, he was drawing a million dollar salary, while some of his employees were struggling to make ends meet, getting paid only USD 35,000 a year.

What did Mr. Price do? Something unheard of. He cut his own salary by a ridiculous 94%, and distributed the cut across all the other employees, such that the minimum wage at his company rose to USD 70,000!

By keeping his employees happy, the revenues of the company grew sharply. Isn’t this a great lesson in empathy?

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Daily social

There’s some bad things with social media. We know that.

There’s also some good things with social media. We know that too.

What’s awesome, is that some bad things, can become good things, via social media!

Here’s an example. A temple visit.

Pre-pandemic, going to temples, standing in a long queue, sometimes for many hours, and then ultimately being able to spend a grand total of 2 seconds at the sanctum sanctorum… Wow really futile effort, it would seem.

Now? Many temples after being closed to visitors, have gone digital. Not just in accepting donations, but also in installing state of the art cameras and broadcasting daily aartis as well as other rites. Live, for the whole world to see. And sometimes in such fantastic Ultra HD 4K clarity, that it’s impossible to get this even in the real place. And every day beautiful new dresses and ornamentation for the idol? Check.

Pretty amazing being daily social. Do check out the Siddhivinayak temple Twitter feed if you like!

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Emoshunned – part 4 of 4

Why the jealousy versus envy example? Because as humans, we are naturally wired to compare.

Naming the emotion here helps. Because we get to identify the inflection point. If we are envious about something someone else has, we can consciously choose what we want to do with that comparison. As someone nicely summarized – if we compare against others, we become bitter. But if we compare against ourselves, we become better!

Brene dropped this cool line on the podcast – “To compare, is human, but to let go is divine.”

She also talks of the 4 Bs. Biology, Biography, Behaviour and Backstory. These help in further dissecting one’s emotions.

Biology is what we naturally have a tendency for. Biography is how we were raised (in a very strict upbringing versus easy going, or rich versus poor). Behaviour refers to my reactions today – do I just control my anger, or do I turn red and punch a wall, or worse. Backstory – this really helps find an answer, such as if someone tears up, is that anger? Grief? Sadness? Disappointment?

A backstory helps us do better. For instance, if we have an interview lined up, it is but natural to have a few butterflies in the tummy. For some, this can even lead to anxiety. But instead of feeling desperate for the job and just making things worse, it would help to have backstory that emphasizes how it would be such an exciting challenge to speak with 4 interviewers and clinch the job.

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Emoshunned – part 3 of 4

We may use disappointed and sad interchangeably. But are they both the same?

Apparently not. If there is a lot of expectation behind the negative emotion, then that would classify as disappointment. We really expected something to do very well, and that not taking place would leave us disappointed, not sad.

Why is this important? Because if you don’t know the illness, how would you know what medicine to take?

If you are sad, then maybe watching a comedy movie might make you feel light again. But if you are disappointed, it might be better to come to terms with our lofty expectations in the first place.

Another simple example is the difference between jealousy and envy. Honestly, I always thought the two were the same!

Apparently envy is wanting what the other person has. Like someone bought a brand new car, and now I envy them. And jealousy? That is when I already have something, but fear losing it to someone else. Like I have a car, but I’m jealous of my neighbour who I believe can easily buy two such cars if he wanted to. This would kill my perceived status in the way I view society.

We are weird, I know, but it is what it is! Closure tomorrow…

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Emoshunned – part 2 of 4

The way we are often asked to deal with emotions is to simply ignore them. When things turn ugly, how many times have we heard “just grin and bear it”, or “this too shall pass”, or “time is the best healer”.

These statements are each true no doubt, but in that very moment, does “not dealing” with the emotions we are going through help us?

Likely not. In her book, Brene lists 87 types of emotions. Wow. That number blew my mind. Eight seven of them, really?

Apparently there are more, but she just chose those she felt were most important, and what we tend to experience fairly regularly.

She also didn’t want her book to be translated into any other languages because she would have no control over the final meaning. For instance, the word shame in English has at least 3 similar but different words in Spanish.

Why is it important to name these emotions properly? More tomorrow…

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Emoshunned – part 1 of 4

A lovely episode of The Happiness Lab podcast I was recently listening to discussed the sad-bad-glad triad.

This was a comment by the guest on the show, Brené Brown. Per Wikipedia, Brené is an American research professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host. Brown is known in particular for her research on shame, vulnerability, and leadership.

She’s written a book called Atlas of the Heart, which deconstructs and maps out human emotions.

At first, I thought, what the heck, is it really a big deal? But as I heard more, I realized this is stuff people do not talk about much, and perhaps ought to.

She first quotes Ludwig Wittgenstein, a philosopher from the early 90s as saying “​“The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.”

What does this mean? Imagine you put your heart and soul into a project, but did not get the desired result. If your vocabulary is constrained, you would say you were sad. If you also got a free scratch-and-win lottery ticket and saw what I always see – “Better luck next time”, you would again be nothing but sad. And if your favorite team lost the match? You’d be sad again. Sad sad sad. That’s because vocabulary aka language as the ‘constraining factor’ is offering a limited window to the world.

Why does this matter? Continued tomorrow…

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Netted

There’s a beautiful description of two of the greatest devotees of Sri Ramakrishna Paramhamsa as given by Swami Ranganathananda in his Bhagavad Gita exposition.

It was said that Maya could never catch either of them. Why? For two opposing reasons.

For the first devotee Narendra aka Swami Vivekananda, he had becomes just too big for the net of Maya. How? Through jnaana or knowledge. The jnaani knows he is the same as The Infinite One, and hence no net however large can contain such a person.

And the other devotee? He was Durga Charan Nag, a householder and a doctor. He was supposed to have been one of the greatest devotees of the Divine Mother. He was so humble, that he would say the Lord is everything and he is nothing. This made him so small that he could easily pass through the Maya net!

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Regarding

Came across an interesting theory that differentiates humans and animals.

Animals are said to be ‘self-regarding’ in nature. This means that when they communicate, they are always talking about themselves. Like “I’m hungry”, “I’m angry”, “I’m excited”, “I’m looking for a mate”, “I’m a part of this group” and so on.

Humans are ‘other-regarding’ because we are able to reference external objects.

This is very rare in the animal world, except for alarm calls, as you would know if you’ve been on any jungle safari. The safari guide would quickly be able to identify warning calls from Samba deer or specific monkeys, as these animals try to warn others around them.

But this is not rare at all for humans, because we can think in other people’s terms, and communicate through empathy and compassion as well. Despite this amazing superpower, most people choose to only talk and think about themselves. What irony 🤦

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White hair

Everyone detests white hair right?

It’s the surest sign of aging, and of course no one wants to grow old.

I got my first white hair pretty early on, and it’s not like we have a choice in this anyway.

But there’s youngsters on social media who actually color their hair white. Apparently it is a fad, a new style trend. It’s odd seeing these people, such young faces coupled with old-people hair.

An ex-boss of mine once told me that white hair is a good thing. Why? Because in business settings, the other person tends to take you more seriously. Would you believe a 50 year old CEO or a 20 year old one? No matter what their actual capabilities are, the mind would naturally gravitate towards the one with white hair.

Lastly, whenever my Guru used to have some outstanding insights on anything, and would see the stunned look on my face, he would casually remark, “the hair on my head has turned white for a reason…”

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Repetition

My Guru in his Amazing Simple Gita has encapsulated many outstanding truths of life. One such truth comes in chapter 1 itself.

He has written it for all the utopians amongst us. Those who yearn for perfect harmony. For a world filled with peace and laughter.

We have everything already don’t we? Incredible changes in technology mean even some of today’s poor people might have luxuries unbeknownst to the kings and queens of yesteryear.

But still, the kings and queens and rulers of today are themselves discontent. Ever eyeing nearby lands and their resources, with not a care for its people, on they go with their plunder and loot.

Oh why can’t this change? Because of the mind. The mind is one’s own best friend and one’s own worst enemy. Consumed by greed, lust, jealousy and anger, how can this mind think of harmony and peace? No matter the reward, the mind is continuously dissatisfied. As my Guru notes, as long as the mind exists, there exists no respite.

Spirituality teaches us how to subdue the mind, and surrender the ego. When this is achieved, there is nothing but peace.

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Peda

Peda is a sweet popular in India. There’s also PEDA. That’s not a sweet, but can surely make your life sweet. How?

Most of us struggle with time management. There’s just never enough time. But that’s probably because of how we look at time.

We start with our task list and then start assigning times it will take to complete each. Total them up and realize it would take days and weeks to complete, leading to frustration.

Enter PEDA. (Okay okay, too dramatic I know, but hear me out). It’s just an acronym I put together for the following:

  1. Procrastinate (everything you don’t need to do right away)
  2. Eliminate (whatever you don’t ever need to do)
  3. Delegate (to others who are better at the work or have more time)
  4. Automate (if it is repetitive and can be coded)

There you have it. Follow PEDA, and you’ll find time is actually plenty.

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No pain no…

We all hate pain. Even the thought of having to give some blood makes us squeamish. Needle? No thank you ma’am.

But as doctors will tell you, pain has a very important function.

Consider the real life story of Gabby Gingras. She was unable to feel any pain – because of a rare genetic condition.

She could feel touch, but not pain.

Might seem cool almost? Not in the least.

Think of it this way. You kept your hand over the flame, and the pain makes you take your hand away instinctively.

But Gabby? She would just watch her hand go up in flames, and have no instinct to move her hand away. Imagine how many other issues – biting the tongue, biting the fingers, twisting a body part etc etc. Unimaginable no?

Pain is good. It helps us not just prevent the worst, but also constantly improve. Let’s be thankful for it.

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Shyness Clinic

is the name of a real-life clinic in Los Altos, California. What does it do?

It helps its patients, i.e. chronically shy people, improve their social skills.

What is amazing is the way they go about this. They do not focus on the past at all. So it doesn’t matter where these shy people come from, what specific life experiences left them under a shell or why they struggle the way the do.

Instead, the focus is entirely on the present. Only exercises to keep improving their social skills. Forget about the bad, just keep adding the good.

One such exercise, and one of the first ones actually, is to walk up to a stranger and ask for the time. The exercises keep increasing in rigour – asking five strangers for the time, chatting with a stranger in the elevator, making random phone calls etc.

The final test is a cool one. To walk into a grocery store, pick up a watermelon, lift it above the head and purposely slam it onto the floor. That’s the easy part of course. Passing, requires enduring the stares of several strangers. Whether those shoppers will lose the taste for watermelon, I know not, but shyness is now surely out the window, one good habit at a time.

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Calm storm

Here is a doubt that was asked in a recent satsang.

When doing karma yoga, we are told to be calm inside, not be motivated by the fruit of our actions, to remain unfazed by appreciation.

At the same time, in the outside world, we are expected to do the exact opposite. Be aggressive, ask for a bonus, an increment, a promotion, a better opportunity and what not.

So are we then pretending to be one thing on the outside, while doing something else on the inside?

Maybe initially. Inside Rama, Outside drama. But that is only for starters.

The real magic happens when all work and all thought is aligned towards one goal alone.

What is that goal? To do the work at hand, to the best of one’s ability. And this pretty much sums up karma yoga.

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Successhun – part 2 of 2

There’s an amazing scene in Succession. Correction, there are several amazing scenes in this 8.9 IMDB rated show.

One in particular stood out for me. No spoilers don’t worry.

The kids (grown up of course) are all standing around papa Logan, the big man, the head honcho.

Everyone is looking for their own pound of flesh, trying to score brownies points, and put everyone else down while at it.

One narcissistic chap tries to sell himself golden, “Dad, remember how I did this and that and succeeded and cracked the deal last week and blahblueblee.”

To which the big kahuna replies curtly as only he can, “I don’t do ancient history.”

Finito. Trap wide shut. Nobody gives a damn about the past. It’s over. We shouldn’t either. The future, is in the present. That’s all that matters.

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Successhun – part 1 of 2

It’s funny that the word ‘success’ is a part of the word succession. If you’ve watched the brilliant HBO TV series called Succession, you know that that the two don’t go too well together.

Sure, it looks mighty awesome to be born into a filthy rich family such as Waystar Royco.

But is it easy? Absolutely not. There are always sharks circling the water, waiting to draw blood.

Every family member doubles up as an adversary. The worst words, are not the ones that are spoken, but the ones that aren’t.

There is so much backbiting, so many scheming members, everyone secretly working their own private agenda, even the characters themselves don’t know what they truly stand for. A loose wind blowing towards the direction of a temporary one-up is enough to bring all the scavengers flocking.

It’s unreal that even a billion dollars at that level is considered meaningless, because someone else has more. And trust me, such comparisons aren’t just in the reel world, but in the real one too.

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Secret goals

The title of this blog post might have you think that maybe some goals should be kept secret. Or that there might already be some secret goals. Or that all goals are secret. Those who don’t have any goals at all may wonder what all the hoopla is about!

There is evidence that it is best to keep one’s goals (especially the big ones) secret.

An NYU study in 2009 found this. Pretty startling.

A lot of people love to toot their own horns, whether on social media or in real life, and whether for minor achievements, or major goals.

Why does keeping your goals a secret matter? This is what the study found. That telling others about your goals apparently creates an unconscious win – tricking our minds into thinking that we have already accomplished the goal.

An important goal would hence be to keep all future goals a secret. My lips are sealed 🤐😂

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Shouting for directions

Here’s a nice perspective I came across.

We’ve all used Google Maps. The turn by turn navigation has literally changed our lives. So much so, that we wonder how we ever managed to find our way around before it existed. It was launched in 2005, not that long ago, but those were probably very early builds. A really robust one on our phones was probably available 7-8 years later only, which is quite amazing, given it feels like we’ve been with it forever.

What’s awesome to learn from Google Maps is the guiding lady’s peace of mind.

If you ever missed a turn or a u-turn or took the wrong left or right, what does she do? Does she scream? Does she abuse you for not even understanding basic directions?

Quite the contrary isn’t it. She simply finds the best alternative route, re-routes you, and then proceeds to guide us on the new path.

Is there some learning for us from her mannerisms?

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Booster shot

The ego is a funny thing.

It just keeps on and on growing.

When we are babies, kids, there is hardly any ego.

But as we grow up and mature, and earn money, and attain fame and status, the ego swells bigger and bigger.

Oh a fat paycheck? Ego boost. A new car better than the neighbour’s? Ego boost. Double promotion at work? Double ego boost.

The more we apparently achieve, the more we think about ourselves, and greater the ego boost.

But funny it is then, that we achieve the foremost greatness, when we become One with all of Creation, when realization is attained i.e. the greatest of the greatest achievement, then the ego promptly falls to zero!

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Kids on the wall

The Ukrainian President Mr. Zelensky is being celebrated world over for his bravery and selflessness. No one knows what will happen in this terrible ongoing onslaught, but I wish there could be peace instead of war. Just imagine, we are in the year 2022, with mind boggling advancements and comforts in nearly every conceivable sphere, and yet what we see is only more greed and more desire for power.

Mr. Zelensky, when he was elected in 2019, apparently said in his speech, that he didn’t want his photos put up in the offices. “The President is not an icon, an idol or a portrait. Hang photos of your kids instead… “

Just for suspense, I’m not completing the last sentence.

My Guru used to give the following advice to parents, “Stop hanging photos of your kids on your walls at home. Because your kids will start believing that they are the centers of attention, that they are being worshipped in the house. Hang photos of Gods/deities instead.”

Is this contradictory? No no, of course not. Here is Mr. Zelensky’s full sentence. “Hang photos of your kids instead, so that you see their faces each time before you make an important decision (so that you do no wrong).”

My Guru’s tactic was aimed at the kids, while Mr. Zelensky’s message was for the adults.

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Blue collar

World over, blue collar workers are looked at with disdain and condescension.

They are usually uneducated, at least formally. When I used to take flights to the Middle East in the past, there would be at least a few who would not be able to fill in the immigration forms. You fill a form for one, and soon there will be a queue, each one waiting for you to fill theirs. But that is the least we can do right?

We might think that we are educated and know better. But most ‘educated elite’ who live abroad, usually just live there as outsiders, sometimes for decades. The so-called blue-collars there on the other hand tend to quickly pick up the local language, enough to have decent conversations even. I’ve seen at least a dozen cases of these blue collars stepping in to diffuse a tense situation between a local and an outsider, simply on account of them knowing (nay, having purposefully learned) the language.

What differentiates the blue-collars more than anything else? Their grit and determination. That no matter what, whether they like it or not, they will always GUDUSUNGU. It’s really their power that makes our blue planet go around.

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Holy Cow – part 5 of 5

A follow up question or thought could be, “There are so many cows in the world. I cannot help them all. Would my seva even matter?”

It is true that we cannot save all the 300 million cows in the world. But any seva we do to even one single cow, will surely make a world of a difference to that one gentle individual! Such could be the power and impact of our gauseva.

We are taught in the rat race that if we work hard, and get success, then we will be happy. But spirituality teaches us the reverse. Be happy first and then work hard, and this will automatically bring worldly success.

A similar sequence can be extended to cows. The reasoning is not that cows provide milk, which is useful, and hence cows should be worshipped as holy. Rather, because the cow is holy, everything that it produces is also perceived to be so.

If we get the chance to serve this most lovable of creatures, we should certainly grab the chance. It will provide peace of mind and other tangible and intangible benefits that can only be experienced first-hand.

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Holy Cow – part 4 of 5

Yet today, there is so much of cow torture and abuse, largely for commercial purposes.

Many cows are disposed of once they stop giving milk.

Do you know how many cows are slaughtered each year around the world?

300 million. Isn’t that shocking?

How insensitive is it, to chop off the hand that feeds us?

On the contrary, imagine the blessings one would get if provided with the chance to tend to this beautiful, peaceful and loving creature.

That chance is available, with the ability to participate (online in many cases, thanks to technology) in the seva of cows. Where gauseva is 100% seva, and 0% commercial. All cow products are either utilized within the premises or given away for free. And all cows are loved and cared for, no matter whether they continue to give milk or not.

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Holy Cow – part 3 of 5

Of all the animals and their products, it is milk from cows that we each have grown up on.

After the first few months of mother’s milk, all babies are switched to cow’s milk. And thereafter, cheese, khoa, butter, buttermilk, curd and others we continue to enjoy even to today.

Would it then not be fair to regard the cow as our second mother?

There is so much selflessness, that the cow shares her milk with us, despite having her own calves to feed.

Not just milk, but even cow dung is useful as fertilizer.

Many drink cow urine for its medicinal properties as recommended in Ayurveda. Not everything may be scientifically proven, but there have been miraculous cases of recoveries that medical science cannot explain.

And the cow’s sharing with us is totally unconditional – no care about our caste, or religion or gender or what background we come from.

What did we do to deserve this blessing?

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Holy Cow – part 2 of 5

Our scriptures prescribe 5 types of maha yagnas. These are

  1. Deva Yajna (for the dieties like sun, moon etc),
  2. Pitri Yajna (for our ancestors),
  3. Manushya Yajna (for our fellow humans, via charity),
  4. Bhoota Yajna (for other living creatures – feeding animals, providing shelter) and
  5. Brahma Yajna (for the soul inside us).

    Each of these are very important. But Bhoota Yagna is unique because it is service to creatures that have emotions (like us), but cannot speak or express themselves (unlike us).

There are many ways to do seva and Bhoota Yajna, but one of the best ways is gauseva, or seva of cows. As we know, the cow was very special to Lord Krishna, the Divine Cowherd. Most photos have Him playing His flute, relishing the company of cows and cowherds. So gauseva is not just a physical activity, but when done with humility, it can become one of the highest expressions of bhakti.

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Holy Cow – part 1 of 5

Remember the cow race from last year?

We all know the cows on our Indian roads – sometimes in the middle of a highway, and other times in the middle of smaller roads – but always unbelievably oblivious to the traffic around them. Irrespective of the commotion, they just do not let the outside world bother them, peacefully chewing away on their grassy meal.

And because of their gentle disposition as well as their generous nature (sharing their milk for one and all), they are considered not just bovine, but divine as well.

How to participate in this cow race?

By first realizing that it is not a race at all. Rather, it is a road to grace.

Our normal day to day world and work may be hard to change.

But we can use the bovine, to spark our inner-divine, and that itself can be life-changing.

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What’s the hurry?

Maybe this is an Indianism. I’ve grown up hearing the phrase ‘hurry burry’. The word burry doesn’t mean anything in particular, but taken together, the words refer to the crazy pace of life.

Indeed, everywhere I look, people are in a hurry. Mostly the hurry to achieve. To have lofty goals and ambitions and then shoot them down in half the expected time. And then feel dejected that it even took that long.

20-year olds are now routinely talking about making at least a million dollars by the time they are 30, and retiring by the time they are 35. Everyone wants to be a founder, and a CEO. By 20. Not 30, because 30 is very close to retirement.

What will someone do after retiring at 35, I wonder? Assuming life expectancy of a 100, that’s another 65 years to live through. Money = freedom, and I get that, and having a good sum of money saved up is great. But the crazy pace to get there? To put arbitrary age thresholds (30, 35 etc.)? Quite unneccessary.

Whether 30 or 60, it will always feel like there is too much time (no one thinks they are going to die tomorrow), or that there is too less (when things aren’t going your way). Best to not think about time as a factor, and instead just enjoy the work.

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Garden carpet

A lovely little quote I came across today.

"Think like a gardener. Work like a carpenter."

What does this mean?

Everyone wants everything at hyperspeed. We would not mind letters sent by post (snail mail) taking a month to reach us in the 90s, but today we want groceries delivered by an app in under 10 minutes. Bosses want deadlines met well before time, and deliverables are always overdue by default. Venture capitalist sharks fight for throwing the most money at the earliest possible stages, and then force the investee company to grow at backbreaking speed.

But talent and skills? These grow slowly. Does a gardener shout at his cute little sapling because it has not already become an apple tree?

The work needs to be put in however, consistently, daily, with discipline, just like a carpenter. The final product looks amazing, but it is really just patient repetition.

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Disruption is a reality – part 2

There is no doubt that disruption is happening faster than we can imagine. I’m here sitting and blogging, but blogs are kind of outdated now no? People have moved to YouTube and TikTok and what else not!

Continuing from yesterday’s post though, here’s some of the meat on how to survive in this crazy disruptive world. These aren’t from me although I agree with them, but more on that at the end.

  1. Be courageous enough to chart your own destiny. Don’t bother about what others are doing or saying.
  2. Before we take point 1 too far, also be open to feedback from your wellwishers. A good balance between points 1 and 2 can work wonders!
  3. Leadership is a choice. Anyone can lead. Thinking big, even at a junior position, can help propel your career. But do it nicely, with the support of your bosses, not going against them to prove a point or to show that you know better.
  4. There is no such thing as work-life balance. There is only work-life choice. Choose well. Some sacrifices may need to be made.

These aren’t my ideas. These were the ideas experienced and expressed by the current MD & CEO of Procter & Gamble Mr. Madhusudhan Gopalan a few years ago in his talk at IIM Bangalore. You should definitely watch this outstanding video here at the link below.

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Disruption is a reality – part 1

Everyone is running to learn coding. Or computer engineering. Or STEM. Or some other technical skill.

But what was the norm just 20 years ago, today stands completely disrupted.

What was taught 40 years ago in colleges and universities then? Pretty much useless.

Yes some basics will remain the same. But nobody can even predict where things will go in 5 years, let alone 15.

Everyone is running to learn digital marketing for the major social platforms.

But are we even sure those platforms will be around in 5 years? And 15?

How can we possibly prepare for such a future? What should we study? With change being the only constant, the ability to learn is perhaps more important than what is being learnt.

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Brahman substitution

Here’s something that keeps coming up.

When people take up spirituality for the first time, they are taught that the soul within each one of us is the same, deep down.

That it’s called Brahman and hence there is no real difference between any of us, in our purest forms.

This is meant to help us be equanimous and impartial in our thoughts and actions in the real world.

But questions arise. “If I’m Brahman, and the tiger is also Brahman, then am I supposed to go and hug the tiger?”

As you can imagine now, there are many variations. Substitute ‘tiger’ with any problem in your life, and it’ll feel like the energy is already being drained out.

The answer? Yes you know the tiger is Brahman. But does the tiger know you are also Brahman?

The first requirement is survival, only then, spiritual.

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12 and a half

A very interesting book I’m reading by Gary Vaynerchuk is called Twelve and a half. The author has identified twelve very critical emotional ingredients which he believes are absolutely essential for success. And then he identifies a 13th one as well, but since he believes he has much work to do on that last one, he only accords one-half the weight in the book’s title.

You would have heard of all these 12/13 items – like empathy, accountability, kindness, gratitude etc etc. But what I found very interesting is how the author emphasizes the need to combine these.

We often hear and feel “Good people finish last.” We’ve seen this happen as well – where the nice ones get taken for a ride. But that’s why Gary argues it is important to combine the ingredients, depending on the situation. Here’s a nice example from his book:

Let's say you are the head of a law firm, and you've hired a kid who grew up on "the other side of the tracks". He or she doesn't know the protocols for a fancy dinner with a client, and you end up losing the deal as a result. This is where you have to pull 'gratitude' and 'accountability' from the "spice rack". You need to be thankful for even having the opportunity to own a business and land this new account. You show accountability by realizing that you're the one who hired but failed to properly train that person. All of a sudden, [there is no blame game], and everything becomes secondary.
Note: [my addition]
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Distracted

Ever felt this way before? Unable to concentrate because your phone notifications bar just popped up? What’s that now – oh a new Whatsapp message. You click once, harmlessly, and before you know it, 30 minutes have passed, you having gone from “reading a book” time to watching random reels on Instagram.

A book by Nir Eyal called Indistractable is all about solving this attention problem.

First, the word itself. You know the base in ‘distraction’? It’s ‘action’. And it is the same in ‘traction’ as well! Wow, that never struck me before. Distractions move us away from what we really want. Traction is the opposite.

Avoiding distraction is a skill, it can be learned, and needs to be practised. 3 things to help in this journey as per the book:
1. We never run out of willpower, so keep at it.
2. Reaffirm positively
3. Practice self-compassion

Other stuff: turn off notifications where unnecessary, delete apps that are not needed, use your phone’s ‘do not disturb’ feature etc. The last one I can really vouch for!

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Digitox

A few days ago, it was decided that we should step out for a quick weekend getaway.

Someplace nice. Someplace serene. Someplace where the concrete jungle can be left behind completely.

And so we started looking through the various hotel aggregators. These have so many reviews, and taking them into consideration is always a good idea.

One recurring theme in the reviews in certain properties was the blessing of a digital detox.

What’s that?

Is it that there’s a cocktail of greens that one can down in a gulp and be freed of red eyes from staring into a screen for too long?

Is there something else the property offers that people praise the on-site digital detox so much?

Not in the least. All it means, is that the resort is completely isolated. No cell towers. Zero reception. Zilch.

If that’s what it takes to digitally detox, to spend so much money for it, why not just sit at home and switch off the phone? 😀

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DQ

Meet DQ. The new kid in the Q.

You know IQ – Intelligence Quotient. I know IQ, but have little first-hand experience!

EQ is the topic of much recent study – Emotional Quotient. You know this.

DQ is a new term that I came across in a recent Harvard Business Review post.

Decency Quotient. Plenty useful in the workplace.

It goes a step further than EQ, implying that a person not only has empathy for employees and colleagues but also the genuine desire to care for them.

“DQ means wanting something positive for everyone in the workplace and ensuring everyone feels respected and valued. DQ is evident in daily interactions with others. DQ implies a focus on doing right by others.”

DQ is perhaps the most needed of the three today – agree?

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Great falls – part 2 of 2

We discussed great falls just a few months ago. Another thought struck me, and so I wondered why not discuss this as well? It is another example of such a great fall. One that was experienced by a saint called Sri M. You can see his videos and lectures on YouTube. He was born as Mumtaz Ali Khan, but is highly fluent in Hindu traditions (maybe more than many Hindus themselves!), including being able to chant the Vedas etc.

I heard about him first a few years ago when I read his autobiography called Apprenticed to a Himalayan Master. There is plenty of other-worldly stuff going on in it – rebirths, remembering past lives, miracles, magic etc etc. The book is great, if you can stomach these many “happenings”.

The way the book starts, really drew me in. Of course everyone would wonder how a Muslim might be able to chant the Vedas with such ease. Sri M’s own explanation is that he was a devout Hindu in his previous life. Not an ordinary one, but one with quite some spiritual power.

Apparently when he was meditating in the Himalayan peaks back in that life, one old fakir approached him, begging. Instead of helping this person (as any spiritually evolved person should do), he reprimanded him for disturbing his meditation session. The fakir was heartbroken and proceeded to commit suicide by jumping off the cliff. Sri M’s Guru (in his past life) then told him he’d be reborn in the fakir’s religion in his next birth, but still find his way back, in the next one.

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Godliness

There’s an absolutely beautiful bhajan called Achyutam Keshavam on Lord Krishna. It’s beauty lies not just in its melody, but primarily in the simplicity and depth of its lyrics. It’s in simple Hindi, but a quick translation of the 4 key paras follows:

  1. Who says God doesn’t come? Have you tried calling Him like Meera (one of His foremost devotees) did?
  2. Who says God doesn’t eat the food we offer Him? Did you offer food with the same love as did his devotee Shabari?
  3. Who says God doesn’t sleep? Did you put him to sleep with the same affection as Mother Yashoda (i.e. Lord Krishna’s mom)
  4. Who says God doesn’t dance? Did you try making him dance like the gopis (Krishna’s fellow cowherds) who loved Him so dearly?

Such a sweet and simple bhajan isn’t it? The Lord doesn’t require big material displays, but only a modicum of true affection.

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Basically

Many of us want success and we want it quick. We also want it with smart work and the least effort.

One journalist covering basketball champion Kobe Bryant wanted to catch up with him while practicing.

Kobe asked him to come join him at 4.30. Not in the afternoon, but 4.30 in the morning!

To show discipline, the journalist went to meet Kobe 30 minutes earlier, at 4 am, hoping to score some brownie points.

But even at 4 am, he was amazed to see Kobe already having started his practice about a half hour prior, his jersey fully drenched in sweat.

Kobe was in fact practising repeatedly some very basic drills. To which the journo asked, “You are the best player in the world. Why are you doing such basic drills?”

To which Kobe replied smilingly, “Why do you think I’m the best player in the world? Because I never get bored with the basics…”

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Hampi dampti…

sat on a wall…

Ah those awesome childhood days. Just watch nursery rhymes and cartoons all day long and chill.

Not a care in the world.

And today?

Try to sit still for a minute, and out come the phones and tablets and other screens.

No wonder then, that a new board game called Hampi has my family hooked.

An hour of no screens may not seem like much.

But try doing it without the board game as a prop!

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Gold-digger

Andrew Carnegie is a name you might be familiar with. He was a steel magnate who lived in the US in the 1800s. An absolute rags to riches story, if there was one.

Wikipedia says that during the last 18 years of his life, he gave away ~$350 million (or $5.2 billion in today’s terms), almost 90% of his fortune, to charities, foundations and universities. You must have heard of the Carnegie Mellon University? Or the Carnegie Corporation of New York? These, and many more, were founded by the same Mr. Carnegie.

Like any other famous personality, he too was involved in some controversies, but that isn’t relevant for this post. What I really liked though, is a story about how he dealt with people.

Someone asked him this question. His reply? That dealing with people was like digging for gold. To get one ounce of gold, we need to dig through tonnes of dirt. But when we go digging, we don’t go looking for the dirt first. Rather we go looking only for the gold.

What a wonderful thought, which we can apply to the way we deal with those around us as well! Instead of constantly looking at or for the flaws that people have, focusing on their goodness, on the gold inside them, would be the secret sauce to developing outstanding relationships.

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Humanize and divinize – part 3 of 3

We discussed two key practically implementable things over the last two days:

  1. Humanize the divine
  2. Divinize the mundane

The concluding masterstroke here, is that there is only one point where both of these intersect and juxtapose.

That sacred point, is the Guru.

Finding it difficult to speak to an idol on your altar because he doesn’t talk back? No worries, because the Guru is a living idol.

The Guru is also the mundane like us, flesh and blood, a part of the elements. And hence divinizing him, to Him, is only a shift in mindset.

In the Guru, humanity = divinity.

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Humanize and divinize – part 2 of 3

Why should we not cut down trees? Because trees give us oxygen, and we need oxygen to survive.

This is a practical view, and a correct one. But it is not the only one. Followers of Sanatana Dharma worship trees as Gods. This will lead them to question a thousand times before cutting a tree down.

Why? Because this is not just a tree anymore, but a manifestation of the Lord.

And if the tree indeed needs to be cut down? Then we could try to contribute more than we consume.

Imagine if we could do this in every walk of life. The fundamental attitude towards the world itself changes. To one of divinizing everything in the world. Every interaction with it is a God given gift, and an opportunity.

Wouldn’t that be awesome? For sure. But there is something even more awesome. Concluded tomorrow…

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Humanize and divinize – part 1 of 3

In chapter 4 of the Gita, Arjuna asks the Lord, “Hey Krishna, how come you revealed this secret of creation and yoga to the Sun God many aeons back, when you were just born a few years ago? Something doesn’t add up.”

And then Krishna tells Arjuna about reincarnation, and the many births they took before.

Hard to wrap our heads around this concept because there appears to be so little proof. And we don’t remember our past lives either (thankfully so!). The forgetful person that I am, I actually don’t remember much about my current life as well 🙂

In any case, if the Lord has been taking so many births aka avatars, there is something human about Him. Why is he easier to worship as Krishna, and not as some formless being? Because that is how we are able to empathise with Him.

My Guru has a way for this. He says we should constantly be having a conversation with the Lord. Even if it is only one-way. But keep Him updated of all the goings-on in our lives. That will change nothing for Him. But humanizing Him will strengthen our faith.

What about divinizing? Coming tomorrow…

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Down and out

Just saw this crazy #tweet.

A guy was working alone on his farm and met with an accident.

It was a horrific one, where both his arms were chopped off.

What did he do? Not just fall down as though the world had collapsed (like many might do when they don’t get enough likes on their latest instagram or facebook photos).

He called the ambulance emergency services number with a pencil that he dialed with his mouth.

How crazy and inspiring is that? Both his arms are reattached surgically now and he is fine.

Good to remember things like this when we are apparently down and out.

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Temporarily permanent – part 2 of 2

Did you notice the sly switch of words in title from yesterday to today? 🙂

There’s a reason for it.

While Lord Krishna’s message may have got lost in between, the content remained absolutely the same. Absolutely evergreen. So despite temporary disappearances from our collective memories, it still remains permanent.

Why? Because the message is as relevant today as it was 5000 years ago.

But how is that possible? Would the ancients even begin to fathom how hard it is when your post on social media does not get even 10 likes? Or the difficulties presented by not having a charger on hand when the iPhone battery is close to dead?

Obviously they wouldn’t. But that is also precisely the point. No matter the advancement in technology, the underlying problems are still the same. People still get tensed, jealous, angry, stressed, greedy – you name it.

What should we prioritize then – newer technology or time-tested truths?

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Permanently temporary – part 1 of 2

At the start of the 4th chapter of the Gita, the Lord tells Arjuna, “I revealed this yoga to the Sun god, Vivaswan, Manu, Ikshvaku. It got lost by passage of time. The same is told to you now.”

Can you believe it? The most important knowledge in the world, nay not even the world, of all creation. In fact the secret of creation itself…lost!

What does this tell us?

That with the passage of time, everything is lost.

Grandpa plants a seed, three generations later, the kids are okay to cut down the tree to construct their home. Parents save a fortune, only to see it frittered away by the next layer. Bulbs, telephones, car models, women confined to the kitchens – you name it, and it will change.

What do we learn from this? Not to be (too) attached to anything. Because the expectation that we should preserve anything forever, is just foolishness.

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Start-stop

Many do not want to work regular jobs nowadays.

They want to be free from the rat race.

They want to ‘start-up’.

Because start-ups can make them a lot of money, while they work on their own terms.

They think they will get peace of mind this way.

But speak to those who have experienced both.

“There is no difference at all”, they say.

The race might be different, but everyone is still a rat only.

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Mispriced asset

“I’m a mispriced asset”, is what a friend told me recently. He took up his job because he didn’t have a choice. He wanted to break into a specific market, and because he didn’t have the relevant work experience, he had to take a pay cut.

We know how this story ends right? The guy after 3 years in his ‘compromise’ job, managed to get another offer elsewhere, better pay, and before you know it, it was mispricing no more.

Each of us who is in the corporate world comes across this question often. How much am I worth?

The answer as the experts will tell you, is not your intrinsic value. Rather, what you are worth, is simply what someone is willing to pay you. Aka, the greater fool theory. It’s just like the stock market, or the market for art or collectibles, or cryptos or NFTs today. If someone will pay 10, then why settle for 6?

While this is great in the business world, it doesn’t matter in anything in life outside of economic comparisons. Keep wealth aside, and the equations change. If you pay for your house help’s kids’ education, they will likely shower you with more gratitude than any billionaire could hope to amass.

But even that, is looking outward. Your real value, only you can ascribe. And that too might be quite limiting, and mispriced.

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The first lady

Nope, this one is not about the President’s wife.

This is about an amazing true story I heard on a podcast recently. The lady in question was the first female employee at Ford Motors many decades ago. And what a crazy journey she had getting there!

This was being recited by the lady’s son. She grew up in a refugee camp on the Indo-Pak border. There was no running water and no electricity. But she did something really amazing. She taught herself how to read. And the first book that she read from cover to cover was the biography of Henry Ford. She started visualizing that she wanted to be an engineer at Ford Motor Co.

This looked unlikely if not impossible, but somehow her parents saved every penny and managed to put her on a boat to America. She ended up getting a scholarship, and graduated as the only female engineer in her class. The next day she was in Detroit to find some way or the other to apply for her dream job. The man she met there said, “Sorry, we don’t have any female engineers. Goodbye.” To which the lady made her case, detailing everything she had gone through to get to this point. The man was moved, and said he would take it up to fight for her. She ended up being the first lady at Ford Motor Co., back in 1967.

What about us, what do we do in the face of adversity?

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If then

Everyone talks of software coding to be the next great money-spinning skill in life. I don’t know much about that, but I did see one nice quip by a child recently. “Coding is nothing but a glorified bunch of ifs and for loops.”

Our lives aren’t very different. We keep repeating various patterns and rituals like for loops. We also are faced with many conditionalities, like the ifs, based on which we make certain choices and move ahead in life.

But the real problem? We worry about the ifs. A lot! What if this happens, or what if that happens. Constant worrying.

So here’s a lovely story about tackling the what ifs.

You know Sparta, the ancient Greek city famed for having really tough citizens. King Phillip II of Macedonia had invaded many other neighbouring territories, and then he set his target on Sparta.

King Phillip sent a letter to the Spartans in advance. “Should he come as a friend or a foe?” They replied, “Neither.”

So Phillip sent another message. “I advise you to submit without further delay, for if I bring my army into your land I will destroy your farms, slay your people and raze your city.”

Once more, the Spartans replied with just one word: “If.”

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Two arrows

We’ve probably heard the phrase, “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”

The Buddha teaches this in another way as well, with the concept of the two arrows.

Any time we go through a rough patch, or a bad event occurs, it is like being hit with one arrow. That’s bad right?

Now imagine you yourself pickup the bow, and shoot another arrow, at yourself. That’s even worse, and that’s the second arrow.

The first arrow touches our skin, or body, physically in some way perhaps. Maybe we didn’t get the reward we thought we deserved, and so a pain in the neck, some tears, some lightness of the head etc. Okay gone. But then, if we continue to cogitate on this, we allow the second arrow to pierce much deeper – right into the mind and the heart.

Which is to say, that at any given point, even if things aren’t as messed up as we think, we prefer to tell ourselves that it is really really really messed up.

Best way out? Use the second arrow as a learning experience. Find a way to ascribe some meaning to the pain. And then we’ll realize that it wasn’t pain in the first place, but an opportunity in disguise.

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Innovating

The opening lines of a podcast I was listening to recently were eye opening.

It was all about innovation.

Everyone loves innovation. We want newer gadgets, faster gadgets, cooler gadgets.

And its not just gadgets, but even services. Anything that helps get our work done better and faster.

So what was this podcast saying?

That innovation is all about only one thing.

“Failure”

That one has to fail, if they have to innovate, because it is inherently an iterative process.

But schools and social media and the world in general is all about glorifying the exact opposite of failure. “Success”

How can we hope to succeed, if we don’t know how to fail?

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Boring nonsense

is what one would think if they are asked to read books like Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. As we have discussed here before many times, my Guru absolutely loves the book.

Why do people consider it boring nonsense? Because it only emphasizes the basics. Like deeply listening to people (not just hearing them). Making eye contact. Smiling. Being interested in the other person. Not criticising others, at least not publicly. And so many other such simple things.

There is no magic formula. No get rich quick scheme. And hence reading the same ‘basic’ book 10 times appears to offer limited value.

The problem lies only in the fact that one is trying to read 10 times but implementing not even once. Every day I see this ‘lack of implementation’ around me (and surely I’m guilty as well). In a recent meet up with friends, no one bothered to check on the other person, because everyone was too busy peddling their own stories. Think about it – how many people outside of your immediate family checked on you in the last year or so? And now vice versa? People are also rude to waiters and househelp. People are forgetting to use their mouths for the one awesome thing God made them for in the first place – to smile! (no, not to talk) etc etc etc.

The basics may be boring nonsense, but the basics are exactly how to win people. And if we want to win success, then we need to win people first.

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Thinking about thinking – part 2 of 2

Now that we understand no one really is thinking about us, how can we use this to improve our lives? Easy. By ‘letting go’. By being sincere, but not serious. By taking things with a smile, but not lightly. Read this:

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.

—Lao Tzu

Isn’t this just phenomenal advice? For instance, we might feel tensed and anxious before an important meeting. We are already well prepared and know the outcome. But still, there are those butterflies – “what if it doesn’t go well?” And once the meeting is over? Almost instantly we feel better, no matter the outcome.

That’s why letting go is so important. Letting go of our need to be perfect in everything – looks, speech, writing, presentation, cooking, and everything else.

But letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. Letting go only means “okay if it happens, and okay if it doesn’t”. Once we ‘let go’, we stop focusing on the future, and how others may or may not perceive us (and we know most people don’t have the time to care!). Instead, we begin to enjoy and live in the present.

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Thinking about thinking – part 1 of 2

Here’s a question you should try to hazard a guess about: How many people this very moment, anywhere in the world, whoever they may be, are thinking about you?

Most likely zero? Or maybe one or two? And even in that case, do you think they are thinking about you in a nice way? Or because they want to go out of their way to do something for you? Or is it because they are jealous, or want something from you? Most likely the latter, isn’t it?

As the US Federal Reserve said in 2020, they are not even “thinking about thinking about raising interest rates.” In the context of this post, most people are so self-absorbed that they aren’t even thinking about thinking about us.

Then why do we spend so much time worrying about how others perceive us? Is it really possible to keep everyone happy? Do they even care how we look or feel? This is not to say that the people around us are bad. It is just that they (and we) are all wired in a particular way. We live as though the universe revolves around us, that’s just how it works.

Then why do we worry so much? And what to do about this? Concluded tomorrow…

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6 months to… part 3 of 3

Continuing from yesterday, here are some awesome snippets from the book 6 Months to Live by Dr. Sangeeta Raman Girdhar.

  1. If you are taking life for granted, all you need to do to come around, would be to go to any big multi-speciality hospital and go to the cancer ward, and ask someone with cancer, what he or she would give for just one more day of life.
  2. Have no resentments towards anyone. Everyone behaves in a particular way because of what they are going through. It has nothing to do with you. Everyone is carrying their own baggage of problems.
  3. Why we are afraid of the death of a loved one? Have you ever given it a thought? What do we fear? Why are we so scared of our close ones leaving us? In our minds, it’s not that I love her too much, she cannot die…but it is, what will happen to me if she dies? How will I manage? How will I cope? I won’t be able to live without her…I won’t be able to manage. I won’t be able to handle life without her presence… See? Where are we thinking of the person concerned in this? All we are worried is about ourselves.
  4. Our loss was immeasurable… but then, so was the love she left behind for us… and the memories…

    Do consider reading this impactful quick-read book (available here). There were a lot of eye openers for me.
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6 months to… part 2 of 3

As mentioned yesterday, today’s and tomorrow’s posts will contain some gems from the amazing book 6 Months to Live (available here).

  1. When some people are faced with a life-threatening illness, they lose all hope and wither away. True strength of character is seen when death is faced eye to eye without blinking, without questioning, without self-pity.
  2. “Not everything that is faced, can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
  3. We talk about angels in disguise…. What disguise? Here was an angel incarnate, whom God had sent to look after us in those trying times.
  4. The above vacations and participation in various family events just proves that cancer is not THE END of everything. You can almost go about your routine life with positivity and enthusiasm.
  5. Moving on is the best tribute you can give your most loved one who is no longer with you in person.

Concluded tomorrow, with some more gems!

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6 months to… part 1 of 3

There’s an outstanding short-book that I just finished reading.

It’s called 6 Months To Live, and written by Dr. Sangeeta Raman Girdhar.

The book is only about 70-odd pages long, and can easily be finished in one sitting, and within the hour.

But the convenient length of the book not the reason everyone should read it.

What the book captures so beautifully, is a combination of 4 things:

  1. What all a loved one goes through when faced with a terminal disease
  2. What the immediate family of this person goes through
  3. What life lessons and spiritual lessons we can each take away, especially if (God-forbid) put in such circumstances
  4. How to deal with cancer, and even make micro lifestyle changes to prevent it

I’m going to share a few powerful takeaways from the book over the next couple of days, but the book has much more than just these, so do consider reading it. The author is my cousin sister, who is an amazing human being. The least I can do is feature her work on FHN! The book is available here.

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Snoopy

We’ve all got quite accustomed to hearing victory speeches for awards ceremonies like the Oscars.

Celebrities take to the stage, and then thank a long list of people, including their cast members, the director, the stunt team, the writer, the choreographer and so on.

In a similar speech by singer/rapper Snoop Dogg, he had an interesting sentence to add.

“I’d like to thank me.”

And then he gives out a sly grin, and then repeats.

“I’d like to thank me, for believing in me.”

Maybe he was kidding, maybe he wasn’t. But in this age of increased stress, anxiety and inferiority complexes, it is surely a great feeling to back oneself up.

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Pecking order

We never say “Oh look, his leg has gone for a walk”, or “hey her hand is making food in the kitchen”, do we? No we don’t, because we always consider everything about a person to be one singular entity.

In the Gita, Lord Krishna breaks it up, and for good reason. He says there is a clear pecking order:

Gross body < sense organs < mind < intellect < HE

This is to say, that it is our body and sense organs that get attracted to sense objects, because they give in to desires.

If we are able to use our intellect to focus the (monkey) mind on to HE, then that would be cool wouldn’t it? No need to worry about desires much then. But how to do it? Through karma yoga, aka the principle that work is worship (remember The secret to success at work?).

Also, this is a step by step process. When we know we are doing something bad, and we want to change it, we immediately try to jettison it, throw it out – and then we struggle with withdrawal symptoms. Whereas My Guru’s approach is always more measured, calibrated and sustainable. How? By aiming for something higher, so that whatever is lower and weaker, will automatically drop off. Work is good, but working selflessly as worship is the highest good.

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Removing corruption

“How can we get rid of corruption, and how can I prevent myself from becoming more corrupt, as I earn more money?”, was the question asked by a disciple to Sadhguru. I listened to this on a podcast, and found the answer enlightening.

Power corrupts. Isn’t this the famous statement we have all heard so many times? And we look nastily at bureaucrats and politicians as if they are solely to blame. Maybe some of them are, who knows.

However, Sadhguru’s take is different. What does he say?

That people are either corrupt, or not corrupt. It has nothing to do with power. How so?

He links this back to spirituality. Our corruption starts from the moment we identify with ourselves. Not just ourselves, but only ourselves. Because that means we favour only us over someone else. This is the seeds of corruption being sown right there. And then, we get married, have kids, have a large family to take care of and so on. Which means only one thing. More corruption.

The way out? To stop being so self-centered, and to be a citizen of the world. That’s why my Guru doesn’t pray for small small things anymore. His only objects of prayer? Desh (country) and dharma.

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Smoked

An 18 February 1882 newspaper carried an advertisement for cigarettes with the following benefits:

  1. Immediate relief in the worst attack of asthma, hay fever, bronchitis
  2. Daily use results in a complete cure
  3. These cigarettes have been successfully tested and recommended by the medical profession for many years
  4. They are perfectly harmless and can be smoked by ladies, children and the most delicate patients

This was a time when even doctors and nurses were not just smoking themselves, but also encouraging their patients to follow suit.

We may think we have come a long way – evolved. Yes we have, at least when it comes to smoking.

But there are so many things today’s generation has little clue about. Parenting. Food choices. Exercising. Health choices. Professional choices. Lifestyle choices.

Another 100 years, and people from then will look back at us and laugh. All the while going through their own sets of blind follies.

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Slider

You probably know the story of the 3 old men who were invited into a home. They were love, wealth and success. But they refused to all go in together. So the house owner had to choose which one he wanted. And he chose well, i.e. he picked love. Automatically, the 2 men representing wealth and success followed as well. If he had chosen either of the other two, the home would have only had that chosen one.

This is a nice story, and is probably very true. My thoughts are of a sliding scale, with spiritual success at one end, and economic success at the other.

No doubt, most of us are hankering for economic success. Our every breath is directed towards earning more or reaching higher. While such focus is admirable, does it really give us peace of mind? Even if we wanted a way out, do we have any time left for a spiritual search?

The alternative, at the other end of the sliding scale is better. If we are steeped in spirituality, if we understand the non-permanence of it all, if we realize that all that we seek is within, then the scale itself will disappear. Much like the 3 old men who all traipsed in together, spiritual success automatically brings all other successes with it. But no other success will matter much at that time. Win-win!

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Arrivals

Surely you’ve heard of that neighbor’s son who’s so successful right?

We all live in different apartments, towns, cities, countries and even continents. Yet we all have those “neighbour’s sons / daughters” that we are invariably compared with.

This is not about comparing with others, as much as it is about our own definitions of success. But can we really define our success?

Were we successful when we cleared first grade? Or weren’t we?

How about when we cleared grade 12? How about when we graduated? When we got a job? Or when we got another job, and then another and another? How about when we were promoted to head of a department? Or when we started our own company? Or when we donated a decent sum to the charity of our choice? Or when we were able to use our ‘influence’ to recommend a friend to a good job? Or when we got to the Board of Directors? Or CEO or Chairman of a small company? Of a large company? Of a Fortune 500?

Who decides if we are successful or not? Is it really us? Or is it an arbitrary line in the sand, drawn by someone else, that declares that you have arrived?

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5 point program

In chapter 3 of the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna provides an interesting break-up of karma yoga.

This comes in verse 30. Here is how we could break it down for daily application:

1. “Renounce everything to the Lord” = make spirituality a priority in life, which will make life peaceful and content. Let it not just be a 5 minute activity, but the substratum of every waking moment.

2. “Quality matters” = Work in the best way possible; treating it like worship, with the knowledge that this is the highest offering there is. The benefit? We wont slack off or cut corners, irrespective of whether someone is inspecting or not.

3. Niraashi = no aasha, no expectation or hope of a specific outcome = receive the result with grace.

4. Nirmama = no mamakaar = no ‘i’ness = work with the attitude of custodianship; i.e. none of my achievements are possible without the support of those around me.

5. vigata-jJwara = “without fever” = this is not body temperature, but the fever of the mind, i.e. stress and anxiety, which can be eradicated if the above points are followed.

Such a nice and implementable way to live, isn’t it?

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Me me me

No today’s post is not about meme stocks or meme cryptos or meme NFTs. Although it is interesting that the word meme was coined by Richard Dawkins in his 1976 book called The Selfish Gene, and the book title has a clue!

But here’s a really short story you may have come across.

An exceptional doctor was nearing his end. He didn’t want to die though. So he created another version of himself, right down to the tiniest detail. Both him and his alter-image were laid down on beds side by side, absolutely still, not a movement. When Death approach, it got confused, because the two were impossible to tell apart. So then Death played a trick. It said, “I know which of you is the real doctor, because the real one made a mistake.”

The real doctor blurted out, “That’s impossible, there’s no mistake.” And Death immediately said, “There you go, that’s the mistake!”, obviously referring to the man’s me-me-me, aka ego.

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Runaway success

Remember those movies which were underdogs?

So many of them. Unheard of. The lead actors are practically unknown.

The movies? Least expected to do well.

Next thing you know, they become huuuuuge hits.

Massive runaway successes!

There’s a runaway success in the Bhagawad Gita as well.

For example, shlokas 19 to 23 in chapter 4.

They talk about giving up desires, giving up attachments, and maintaining equanimity in all situations of duality (like pleasure or pain, joy or sorrow).

These kinds of shlokas are absolutely successful in making even the staunchest of karma yogis runaway.

Runaway success of a different kind!

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Memory power

As a kid, my memorization skills were terrible. We used to have those competitions in school where we’d be blindfolded, taken into a room, showed a number of objects, and then brought back into our classroom to write within two minutes everything that we could remember from that visit.

I would hardly get 7 or 8 right, while kids around me easily did 30 or more.

Even to today, I struggle with names, places, birthdays (shhh, don’t tell my wife!), faces, events and everything else. How I cleared exams, especially engineering, where I didn’t understand so many of the most basic concepts, really befuddles me to this date.

But you know the best part of having a poor memory? It extends to all walks of life. If someone tells me something rude or hurtful, I forget that as well. If someone passed some nasty comment – poof, a few weeks later I often have no recall of the event. It sucks when there are fights, if I need to prove a point, then I can barely connect past events to make my case.

But in the long run, does it really matter? Once the ego clash is taken out of the equation, is there really a winner or loser? There likely isn’t, and which is why to me personally, a bad memory isn’t a problem, it is a divine gift!

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Can we give up desires?

A tough aspect of spirituality is not in reading what is said, but in actually understanding and implementing it.

For instance, Lord Krishna in the Gita often asks Arjuna to give up desires.

Is this practical? If I give up all my desires, I wouldn’t even be able to get up from my bed on a Sunday, let alone on a Monday morning!

Maybe there is something deeper and subtler. This is my Guru’s amazing interpretation.

When Krishna says ‘give up desires’, he actually means ‘give up the cravings in your mind’. Having dharmic desires is fine, but it is critical to cut the umbilical cord between desire and happiness.

Our happiness is always linked to the fulfilment of desires. “Think of a time when you were happy” tends to be accomplishments like “when I won the game, or topped the class, or got married, or had kids, or got promoted”.

But what if everything we did, could start from happiness, rather than end in it? This is possible, and it (too) starts with gratitude.

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#filterout

“Land sales tops US$ 100 million in one week”

This was the headline that grabbed my attention recently. I thought about it for a split second. Come on, 100 million is big, but not that big. Surely many billionaire businessmen and celebrities would have many mansions all over the world and 100 million would be consumed in an instant. And that’s when I noticed the land sales happened in the… metaverse. Wow.

Yes, we’ve all been reading more and more about the metaverse these past several months. Some virtual reality world where avatars can come together to do various things. I don’t understand this stuff well, but a 100 million bucks for land in the virtual world? Wow that sounds like a lot of people have gone cuckoo.

But still, these transactions happened, and many years later, I’ll probably have to eat my words as well.

Indeed, everything has become virtual now. People don’t even speak to each other, greet other or see eye to eye. It’s all done on social media. Nothing wrong with this of course. Except that life on SM is totally filtered. All bad stuff is filtered out. And all good stuff (including every imperfection being neutralized) is amplified. Much like Hollywood kissing scenes right after waking up in the morning, because their mouths presumably auto-brush themselves when their eyes open.

It’s important to periodically remind ourselves what constitutes reality and what doesn’t.

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Thirsty fish

The poet Kabir has an outstanding line:

The fish in the water is thirsty, and every time I see that, it makes me laugh!

What does this mean?

Well, we are the fish!

Aren’t we always wanting something or the other? What we have, never seems to be enough. There are people who would do 2x our work at 1/10th the salary. And still we are unhappy and want more. Compared to the poor and destitute, we are nothing but kings and queens!

Yet we are thirsty for more. We have all the water around us, yet not a drop to drink will quench this thirst 😅

Is there anything that can quench this thirst? Yes there is, and you know all about it already. It is called gratitude.

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Are you a leader? – part 2 of 2

As a leader, what is expected of us? In verse 21 of chapter 3 of the Gita, Lord Krishna says the following.

"Whatever a great man does, other men also do. Whichever standard he sets, the world follows it."

This is a very interesting shloka, and it seems like a motivational quote for one’s goal setting, doesn’t it? We should all have great goals, be great leaders, so that people follow in our footsteps. But that’s not all.

Krishna in this verse is also talking about Himself. Is he subjected to the same rules? He says he is! Isn’t He also constantly working to keep the universe running? Brahma creating, Vishnu sustaining, Shiva destroying, in a sense?

My Guru would be another example – an already-realized soul, but why is he working so hard? Why would he need to do aarti thrice a day? Why would he choose to live his life in a rural setting to help educate the poor? Why would he need to wake up at 5 am daily to do yoga? Why does he work 7 days a week 365 days a year?

Because as Krishna says, “whatever a great man does, other men also do. Whichever standard he sets, the world follows it.” What are each one of us doing? What are we striving to achieve? It is a question we need to answers for ourselves, and honestly.

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Are you a leader? – part 1 of 2

Yes you are. One way or another. How, you ask?

Because you are a son/daughter/mother/father/brother/sister/colleague/friend, and that too a one of a kind.

As a parent, your kids look up to you as their leader.

As the one running the household, your spouse looks up to you.

As the one running the family, your family members look up to you.

As a guide for life, your siblings look up to you.

As a mentor, your employees look up to you.

As a shoulder to rest upon, your friends rely on you.

Aren’t you thus a born leader? Aren’t we all?

Now that we understand this, how should we conduct ourselves? Lord Krishna has a clear directive for each one of us. Coming tomorrow… stay tuned!

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Lingo creep

“All well?” “Yes, yes all well.”
“What about you, all well?” “Yes, yes all well here too.”

This seems to be a very standard greeting exchange nowadays. Wasn’t like this say a decade ago. Wonder how it crept in.

“No worries” is another one that people use a lot. Probably came from hakunamatata as taught in Disney’s The Lion King.

A more recent one that I’m becoming increasingly exposed to is “Correct me if I am wrong.”

It might have started off on a nice note. Someone didn’t want to sound haughty or a know-it-all, and so prefixed their statement with ‘Please correct me if I am wrong.” All good till here.

Except that now everyone uses it all the time. I counted 10 of these in a 20 minute conference call yesterday! And the worst part?

People actually butt in and say “Yes you are wrong, let me correct you here.” <facepalm>. In a group of 10 people. Seniors, juniors middlers, everyone. Just unbelievable how self-obsessed people can be, never wanting to lose the opportunity to give someone a hard time, or make themselves look good.

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Sunken

“But I am like this only.”

“But this is how I’ve always been doing it.”

“This is how it has been since… forever!”

Heard such statements before? You surely have. Do such statements leave a good impression on you? Probably not. Why? Because we all know, that if we want to get ahead, to improve, we need to adapt and change. But sentences like the ones above, indicate exactly the opposite. Something has been done a particular way, and there is no way I’ll change that.

This actually has a name. It’s called the sunk-cost fallacy. It is also called the Concorde fallacy. That second name was a bit of a giveaway wasn’t it?

This refers to the stubbornness of the governments that made the Concorde. They kept drowning it in cash even after it was clear that it was a commercial disaster. They had already put in so much money and effort, i.e. ‘sunk costs’, that they were just unwilling to change.

We all know the ultimate fate of the Concorde. Would we want to end up like that?

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Laptop delivery

Here’s an incident which happened a while ago, but quickly taught me the importance of being humble.

In a previous avatar, I was once called by someone from the tech support team. This person told me that my superboss had asked for me to bring his laptop to him, from his desk, to a meeting room where he was sitting then.

Surely this was not my job – delivering laptops!

But (luckily) I didn’t think twice about it, walked across the room, picked up his laptop, and took it to the meeting room where he was. When I knocked and went in, my superboss was surprised too, and said, “Hey, you’re here? I’m so sorry, I didn’t ask you to bring my laptop over, I think the tech support guy misunderstood me. I told him to have someone get my laptop to me, and then have it sent to you for the specific task we discussed today morning.”

I quickly replied, “Not at all a problem sir…”, and then he cut me off and motioned towards another gentleman seated in the meeting room, “Please meet Mr. ABC, who is the owner of a large chain of jewellery stores.” And he invited me to sit down. Turned out that we both spoke the same mother tongue, which led to an interesting conversation. My superboss invited me back to the room a while later as his guest wanted to convey something only in the mother tongue, which he was unable to translate otherwise.

If I’d just thought “What the heck, why should I be the laptop courier?”, surely such an interesting experience wouldn’t have transpired!

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Real duty

Remember our discussion on verse 35 from the Gita? One of those often misunderstood shlokas. Why should I do my own duty badly when I can do someone else’s well?

Surely you remember. They key is to understand one’s duty well.

The word in Sanskrit, is swadharma. This too comes a summation of dharma and swabhava. Dharma we know, duty, which for human beings is to attain moksha. Swabhava is our internal innate quality. Whatever we naturally gravitate towards.

Here’s a nice story that drives home the point. A watchman sees his building owner leaving for the airport. He immediately warns the owner not to take the flight that day. Why? Because in his afternoon siesta, the watchman saw a dream that the flight would meet with an accident. The building owner heeds his watchman’s prophetic advice and stays home. A few hours later, indeed the flight meets with a fatal accident. The watchman is elated, thinking that he will now be showered with gifts from the owner. The owner comes up to him, thanks him profusely, but also does not give the watchman any money. Instead, he tells the watchman, that he needs to do his duty more alertly, instead of sleeping in the afternoon on his watch!

This story is just for fun, not for nitpicking, but it underscores the importance of sticking to our swadharma in the long run.

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Tree wood

Know the saying “Don’t miss the forest for the trees”? You have surely come across it.

Here’s some forest-for-the-trees questions we get regularly in the satsang.

  1. Did Ravana really have 10 heads?
  2. Is there really a heaven and a hell?
  3. Are there really 7 worlds above and below?
  4. Did Krishna really explain the Gita to Arjuna on the battlefield? What were the others doing then?
  5. Did Rama really cross over to Lanka by walking on floating rocks put together by monkeys?
  6. Did Ravana actually fly to India?
  7. Is it possible that the Vishwaroopa darshanam actually happened?
  8. How did Creation happen?

All of these are amazing questions. However, even the most amazing answers to these questions will not help us transform ourselves and progress on the spiritual path.

When the real transformation begins (work selflessly as worship, i.e. karma yoga), the questions will automatically fall away.

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Religious matters

World over, people are fighting over religious issues.

Theists fights atheists. But also atheists fight atheists, and theists fight theists!

Followers of one religion fight, abuse and slaughter those of another religion.

But equally, followers within the same religion might fight, abuse and slaughter one another due to perceived ideological differences.

It seems as though one just needs a reason to fight, abuse and slaughter.

Here’s another perspective. What if religion is not about God, but about work. Not any work, but about the work each one of us does.

If we can do our work selflessly, and without expectation of the result, wouldn’t that be the pinnacle of all work? Maybe that’s why work is called worship.

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Call centric

We’ve all had to call customer care at some point. Something breaks, something is not working, something needs to be returned, some parcel needs to be tracked, some refund needs to be appropriated – the reasons are many.

But do you really like speaking to customer care?

Most of us hate it, don’t we?

But those folks are so polite no?

They say “please”, they say “thank you for calling, have a nice day”, they also say “sorry to keep you waiting for such a long time”

So very polite. But we still don’t like most customer care experiences. Why?

Because these are mostly empty words. The commanding language or flowery vocabulary really doesn’t matter.

The only thing that does matter, is the deep desire to help the other person. If that is there, then nothing else is necessary.

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Dying opportunity

Here’s a trend I’ve been noticing on social media off-late.

If someone famous passes away (old age, disease etc.), people post condolence messages.

This is great – a wonderful way to remember someone who made a mark on society.

But the crazy part? These condolence messages are rarely about the one who passed away.

Rather, they start with a joint photo of the person posting the note along with the deceased, maybe a holiday they took together, or a business meeting or family dinner or such.

And then the focus shifts entirely to the one posting the condolence message! Starts with how they met that person, and then moves to how they built their own career, their own business, their own wealth, their own destiny, with links to their products and where to buy etc etc.

There’s so much of commerce in such posts, and even in the wake of someone passing away, these are only seen as an opportunity for self-promotion.

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Memento mori

How did the Ancient Romans manage triumph? Did they let it get to their head? Such a weird question isn’t it?

No, because they actually had a process around it. The process was such, that a victorious general or commander could only enter his home city during a special parade. All the loot and plunder and slaves would be displayed amid great pomp and show.

Bringing up the end of the parade, would be the victorious commander, riding in a chariot.

However, he would not be alone. He would be accompanied in the chariot by an auriga, a slave.

This auriga’s only role during this lavish cavalcade? To continuously whisper the title phrase into the commander’s ears.

“Memento mori, memento mori, memento mori, memento mori…”

“Remember you are mortal, remember you are mortal, remember you are mortal, remember you are mortal…”

What a lesson to be reminded of, at the peak of one’s glory!

And then there are some who gloat, even without achieving any glory… <facepalm>

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Great falls

Shlokas 36 and 37 of chapter 3 in the Gita are eye-openers.

36 has Arjuna asking Krishna why people sin, despite knowing better. And he’s not asking about normal people. He’s asking about those very close to or even at, the pinnacle of spiritual progress. The jnaana yogis.

A jnaana yogi practitioner truly sees everything as the same – no discrimination. He sees the Atman not just in himself, but also in everyone around him. And he also experientially understands that all of these are no different from paramatma. Even so, our mythology is replete with the greatest of rishis, committing the gravest of mistakes, and falling from glory. So Arjuna wants to know why.

The Lord answers in 37, that this is all only because of our desires. “Desire is a great devourer – a great sinner, this is the enemy.”

My Guru is very clear on this too. It might sound boring. But if you want moksha, then this is the way (channelling my inner Mandalorian!). Not for material objects mind you – so not about praying for promotions and bonuses and topping in exams or begetting progeny, but for moksha alone. He doesn’t advise any maha mudras, or maha mantras, or maha japas, or any kundalini rising, or maha meditations – nothing. The only requirement he says, is to give up desires and attachments – that’s it. Can it get simpler?

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Power of fun

There’s an awesome podcast I listen to often called The Happiness Lab by Dr Laurie Santos. She is a professor at Yale University and conducts a most-wanted course there on… you guessed it, happiness. We discussed this briefly before here at this link.

Despite teaching a course on happiness, she found herself slipping – often caught in the rigour of her day, barely getting time to take a break, or even a breath, as it would seem. “Is that what happiness looks like?”, she kept asking herself. So she decided to have a fun-intervention, aka a fun-tervention.

But she had to figure out what Fun meant first. And she enlisted the help of a Research Expert in… Fun (nice job, no?).

Long story short, there are 3 aspects to fun:
1. Playfulness, i.e. you do something well but without caring for the outcome, you enjoy it
2. Connection, i.e. you are drawn to what you do, you are connected to it, and
3. Flow, i.e. you are in a state where it ‘flows’, and time seems to have stood still

In the things we do daily, are we having fun? Apparently we can train ourselves for it – even if it means looking for fun in the more mundane things in life. And maybe this last part is the real secret.

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Always day 1

Amazon.com has a concept called ‘always day 1’. Jeff Bezos talks about it a lot, and also writes about it in all his annual letters to shareholders.

The idea is this: despite Amazon being an absolute behemoth, their mindset will always strive to remain that of a start-up, i.e. nimble and eager to grow.

We can apply day 1 to our lives too. And I take inspiration from looking at the way babies see the world.

You can tell them the same gaga-googoo thing a hundred times, and they will gurgle their laughter back at you each and every time. Tried peek-a-boo? While doing the act, we may get bored, but babies love it. Every time they see it, they act like it is being done for the very first time. They react to their parents smiling at them as though they’re seeing this wonderful sight for the very first time. In short, it is always day 1 for them.

Imagine if we could go to work each day as though it were day 1. Looking at every negative comment, every rebuke, every failure, as nothing more than day 1. Why is this awesome? Because the bad stuff happened before and that baggage is forgotten, while today is day 1, a new beginning, and a hope for great things to come.

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Avoidable inconvenience

‘Do it right the first time’ is a phrase my Guru keeps using often. Which is to say, don’t compound your mistakes. Make one, and the domino effect begins. We saw this previously here, called DIRFTI.

A few days ago, I had to catch a flight. The website of this flight carrier said passengers needed to carry an RTPCR test.

This is quite a hassle, and quite expensive too.

Speaking with a few friends, it was quickly evident that this is just a rule on paper, and that no one at either the source airport or the destination airport, were checking. Besides, most folks were telling me that Covid cases have reduced substantially, and questioning if this was really necessary.

Luckily, better sense prevailed, and I did take the RTPCR test before leaving.

Not only did they check it at the source airport, they were also disallowing passengers to board the flight, if they didn’t possess the test report. Further, at the destination airport too, the authorities picked out those who didn’t have their reports to do tests right there (another long queue for that).

Either scenario – while not the end of the world – was unnecessary, and would have led to avoidable inconveniences. DIRFTI indeed.

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Egota

Accepting any kind of feedback is hard. We’ve all been there, and we know it.

That’s why a statement a lady made on the venture-capital investment TV show called Shark Tank recently, really caught my attention.

Mark Cuban was giving her some feedback about her product’s packaging. He said that the packaging was good, but not self-explanatory. If a customer picked up that product, s/he just wouldn’t understand it and how to use it and what it’s benefits were.

He tells her he would be keen to invest with her, however, “are you okay with changing your packaging?”

To which the lady replies, “Data over ego. That’s what I believe in Mark.”

Such a cool thing to say! That I might have a view, an opinion, a stance, a preconceived notion even – but if data comes by, if the facts change, if the circumstances change, then I’m willing to open my mind and learn.

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Progressive thinking

The world today in terms of thought process has never been more polarized. Wokeism, gender biases, racial profiling, income inequality, political extremes, and so many other aspects absolutely crowd out not just media headlines but also people’s minds.

Which side to be on? Which side is correct? What does correct even mean? And to who?

These are questions that may never have the right answers, because presented with sufficient background, narrative and rationale anything and everything can be and is being justified.

From a spiritual point of view though, our time here is limited. And how we live it is paramount, not so much what we do.

And how we live it, depends entirely on our state of mind. That is how spiritual progress itself can be measured. And this is exactly what Sri Ramana Maharishi stated over a century ago:

The degree of freedom from unwanted thoughts and the degree of concentration on a single thought, are the measures to gauge spiritual progress.

How to implement such profundity? By dropping attachments and desires. One step at a time…

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Oh my I

Here is what my Guru wrote to me recently on ‘ego’:

The ego needs to be defined to be understood.

What is this ego? Simple.

My view. My idea. I think. I feel. I am sure. I myself. I alone. I have seen. I think I can. My house. My dog. My experience...

You can easily add another hundred more to such expressions.

As you can see, so much I and my.

My goals...

Might be a good reminder to finish the target, or maybe obliterate it.
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4 the long term

A podcast I was listening to this weekend had something very interesting on investing.

The investment expert was asked how he manages to beat the market, to stay ahead of the curve, and deliver superior performance for his portfolio. The approach he articulated was so clear and simple, yet so profound. He said he makes investments into companies, only when he is convinced that his (data-backed) expectations of one of 4 things is better than the rest of the market’s expectations.

  1. The magnitude of cash flows that will be earned by the company
  2. The duration of cash flows that will be earned by the company
  3. The quality of cash flows that will be earned by the company
  4. The use of cash flows that will be earned by the company

It got me thinking that this can be applied to many choices in life. Not ‘cash flows’ per se, but whatever we expect the perceived return to be.

Like if we are unsure of a career choice or a degree choice. Don’t choose computer science (just an example) because everyone else is choosing it. Figure out whether the magnitude (impact) of that education for you will be relevant? For how long, i.e. what duration is it just a passing fad, and you internally despise the subject? What is the quality of this degree in what you want in your life? How can I use it to get what I want?

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Fool

A lovely point was expressed in a recent satsang by a satsangi who had watched a sermon on the Gita.

We are always hankering after the ‘results’ – we want more and more, and often for not even doing much.

The speaker said, that we should never consider ourselves as the ‘doers’. Are we really the doers? What are we really doing? We are at best only facilitating a grand plan that is already in motion. Even the CEO of a company isn’t really doing much – his outstanding vision itself might be borrowed and stitched together from many others. In any case, he is also dependent on all his employees, vendors, stakeholders, all those who invented things till this point, and so on. No one is truly indispensable. So are we really ‘doing’ as much as we think?

If we do not consider ourselves the doers, the benefit of this approach is that we will not demand results either. To be clear, this is for our own peace of mind and spiritual evolution, and not for use on the day of ‘annual performance evaluation’ at work.

The other statement made was that we need to be grateful for whatever we receive. Always. Otherwise, we would each be a great fool!

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Mimetic energy

In a book called Wanting by Luke Burgis, the author explores the concept of mimetic desires. The word mimetic was new to me, and means ‘to imitate’. What does this mean, to imitate a desire? It is effectively nothing but community desire. And what does this mean?

Think of your immediate circle, say your colleagues at work. Most of them might have the same type of education, same type of job, and same type of career aspirations. If many of your friends are raising venture capital for their startups, suddenly you feel like starting up too. If you live in a posh apartment complex, most discussions will centre around what car you drive, what title you hold at work and which (upmarket) school your kids go to. If you live in a posh city, the comparison points are likely to be what plays you watched over the weekend, which top end restaurants you got reservations to, which concerts you attended. Spend time with scientists, and you’ll want a Nobel prize. Spend time with musicians and you’ll want a Grammy. Spend time with writers and you’ll want a Pulitzer. And on and on it goes. Each and every group of people is it’s own little island of mimetic desires.

The challenge with mimetic desires, is that they do not make us happy. They make us want things because others have them, but the happiness buck stops there. Is there an ‘un’-mimetic desire? It may not have a specific name, but these are those desires that come from within. Maybe you love to play the piano, or to go for a drive on the weekend, or for a lazy walk on the beach. These are desires that you’d enjoy irrespective of external approval, and even if no one knew or cared about it.

So it’s really up to us to figure out what we truly desire, to follow that path, and to weed out the mimetics.

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Rugged

“Your network determines your networth.” This is a quote many of us would have heard. And it’s true, at least anecdotally. We know people with ‘connections‘ tend to have their way – whether jobs, promotions, access to events or to information.

So the ability to network could be called a superpower. However, most people hate it. Even the ones who are good at it. Going to conferences, and putting up a facade of being someone cool with drink-in-hand… nope, not easy.

So what is the gap here? First, a story, that I heard on an Adam Grant’s WorkLife podcast. An Iranian refugee in America with next to no money in hand, ended up being a successful VC investor. How? Simply because he focused on improving his own carpet making skills. This in turn led to him being sought out by people. How’s that possible? Here’s how. Back in his home country, he sold rugs. And given these were often collected as pieces of art, it attracted a lot of rich buyers. Said refugee’s knowledge of the rugs led to many interesting conversations that lasted hours, and let to unexpected door openings, one of which led to him becoming an advisor at a VC firm.

The takeaway is not really to become an expert on rugs, but rather to realize that networking is all about what we can offer to the other person. It’s a give, not a take.

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Divine eyes – part 3 of 3

In most visual depictions of the Mahabharata and the Gita, Lord Krishna is shown as though expanding in size and form, until he becomes humongous. So large, that he opens his mouth, and many galaxies are seen inside it. He has myriad arms and legs and heads, and in general is representative of a supernatural being.

But this may not be fully accurate. Because the Lord in his own admission, states that everything is He, and He is everything. So all the empty space around us, all the filled space around us, all the objects, all the living creatures – everything is Him only.

And thus the Lord’s viswaroopa is to be seen as a wake up image for Arjuna (and by extension us). The whole of the 10th chapter where Krishna gives so many examples of his manifestations in the world around us (vibhutis) was not enough to convince Arjuna.

But when he did finally see the True form, not only was he amazed, but also terrified. Why?

Because he saw Krishna as the Creator, but did not expect to see his Destroyer side (all of creation was eventually being destroyed). He had forgotten the lessons he learned in chapter 2 on aham or ego. He was unable to reconcile his friend Krishna, as also the terrible Krishna. But as the Lord himself says, all this is a play of maya. As my Guru says, “Once we are out of ‘body consciousness’, all these will be taken care of”.

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Divine eyes – part 2 of 3

There is another side to this. The ‘divine eyes’ are not some cool sunglasses, but rather a change in perspective of the Lord.

No different from when we expect a Guru to perform miracles like levitation and telepathy, only to realize the real miracle was in his changing our minds!

It is easy to change anything in today’s world if you throw some money at it, but to really deeply change someone’s mind? Ask a parent about their adolescent kids. Or a husband/wife about their better half. “Impossible”, they will say.

And it’s not as though Lord Krishna had been hiding anything from Arjuna. He told him he was the Creator, Sustainer and Destroyer, and heck, even the substratum of all Creation!

But Arjuna didn’t really get it. It’s like meeting your childhood gully friend (the one you use to play with in all the dirt and dust, wearing only undies) after 3 decades only to realize he is now one of the richest people in the world. To you, that person is still the same old playmate from your childhood. Only when you see his face in a few magazines do you realize the truth.

And so he requests Krishna for a true-blue view.

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Divine eyes – part 1 of 3

In chapter 11 of the Gita, Lord Krishna shows his vishwaroopa darshanam (divine form) to Arjuna.

Arjuna of course is simultaneously flabbergasted, amazed and horrified.

Krishna says he grants ‘divine eyes’ to Arjuna for just a brief period, so that he may see the Truth.

This leads anyone who reads this chapter to wish they too could get such divine eyes. “How lucky Arjuna was!”

Yes he was indeed lucky, but having such temporary vision hardly did much lasting good.

In fact, Arjuna forgot all about the Gita in no time.

What is this temporary vision? Nothing more than internal purification.

We can chant and meditate all we like, but if the mind is still attached to sense objects and continues to have desires, no amount of ‘divine vision’ will help.

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Mentorship

Ah what would we do without mentors? I have lost count of the number of times a mentor has benefitted me – be it my parents, my wife, my brother, my friends, my teachers, well-meaning colleagues, ill-meaning colleagues, good bosses, bad bosses, friends… you name it. Even though some learning experiences were brutal and demeaning at the time, looking back, those feedback loops are what helped into shaping the person I am today. Of course I’m not a successful billionaire, so this probably doesn’t count for much from a materialistic point of view.

But mentors are super important in life, and especially the specialist mentors, the 1-2 people you can rely on for non-technical guidance in your specialist domain. If you are lucky, such a person can double up as your boss too.

The logical next question is, what if I need to move (presumably to a better workplace), and if I consequently need to leave my mentor / boss as well?

This is summarized beautifully in a dialogue in the hit TV series called Ted Lasso:

A good mentor hopes you will leave.
A great mentor knows you will leave!

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Future memory

Our world revolves around us. It is but natural. If we don’t exist, then it wouldn’t matter, but since we do, the world seen from our perspective has to obviously have us only as the protagonist.

Now extrapolate this to each of the approximately 8 billion human beings on earth. That is 8 billion movie scripts all running in parallel, at times even criss-crossing over other scripts. And then there are billions of other living organisms – animals, plants, microbes and so on. So billions and billions of movies all running simultaneously, with each having one main character, and everyone else in supporting roles and some villainous ones too.

We’re at the centre of our live movies only because of our egos. And we want to remain there, even after death. Which is why so many great kings and queens of lore took substantial pains to leave behind their monumental legacies. That’s also why people even today are doing everything it takes to leave their mark, and be chronicled in the annals of history.

This is all fine, except that mostly whatever is being done, is being done selfishly. It is being done not with the sole aim of helping someone else, but with the aim that if I do something, then my name will be etched in common memory for eternity.

Which is why the mystic Sadhguru’s answer to the question “How do you want the future generations to remember you?” is priceless. He says “I hope people of future generations are so happy and blissful, that they never have to remember me at all!”

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Empathasking

Recently a friend and I were exchanging interview notes. She’s got a lot of experience taking interviews, and I have very little.

Most interviews, as we all know, start with the (in)famous “So, tell me about yourself.”

This is a great question isn’t it? Because everyone likes to talk, and self-help books tell us that we must listen more. So what better way than to begin an interview by asking the candidate to talk about themselves?

Except, that an interview is not a “normal” conversation, where above self-help suggestions would apply directly.

The other person, the candidate, is obviously anxious, stressed, nervous – and what else, who knows. So this experienced friend told me that it’s a very good idea to break ice by starting to talk about myself, as the interviewer, who I am as a person, what got me here, what I love about my job, maybe a little about my family, all wrapped up in 2-3 minutes. This allows the other person to relax, and be their usual self, rather than drone on from a prepared mental note titled “about myself”.

Always good to find empathy even in the smallest of things, don’t you agree?

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Base rates

There are certain things in life that we would just be biased by. Psychologically. And this will mostly have to do with our upbringing. If we’ve only seen one kind of life, then it would be natural to assume that life in general for everyone is indeed as we have experienced it. For instance, a child born in the last decade, can never understand a world without mobile phones. So much so that s/he thinks that life without phones would be impossible.

A common example that would be asked to test biases is, “James Smith living in the USA is either a librarian or a salesman. His personality can best be described as shy and introverted. What are the odds that James is a librarian”

What is your answer?

James is a Librarian of course, at least a 90% probability. Right? That’s what most people would say. Because librarians are reserved and quiet people while salesmen are all chatty and gregarious. But would your answer change if you knew a fact – that there are 100 salesmen for every male librarian in the US? That means the probability of James being a librarian is just 1%, nowhere near the 90% we were thinking! That’s the base rate.

Base rates apply in spirituality as well. They are here for all to see. How many people got super happy and super rich after they died? Not even 1% of the people. Not even 0.0001% of the people. Because death = bye bye. Yet we crave more and more materiality, all the while ignoring the wise counsel of the gurus and saints who’ve lived this exact life for centuries upon centuries.

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Mousebaby

A 6-month old baby I know was recently bitten by a mouse.

This occurred in the middle of the night, during a torrential downpour, and when the electricity went kaput.

Sudden high pitched crying from the baby alerted its parents, who then found their own shirts to be soaked in some blood, as they quickly picked up the baby.

They didn’t know at the time that it was a mouse that bit her.

The baby cried for 10 minutes, as the shock and the pain of the bite waned off.

A couple of hours and a visit to the emergency room later, the baby was fine, laughing and playing like nothing had happened. No fear of the mouse returning. No irritation of her beautiful little finger now having a mouse’s teeth marks. No frustration for having a tiny bandage in an already tiny finger. No anger towards her family members for not having prevented the mousebite in the first place. No permanent scarring and fear of mice. All the bad forgotten, just like that.

How I wish I could put all the loathsome experiences in my days behind me with such panache!

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To do…

To do lists are awesome. They really help me get my work done, and ensure that I don’t miss anything critical.

So to do lists are great, and we’ve established that.

But you know the problem with to do lists? They are never ending. My to do lists just keep getting longer and longer. And this builds up a lot of stress and anxiety.

Therefore, here’s another kind of useful list… The ‘to-don’t’ list!

Many times, what I’m unable to do or accomplish is a direct outcome of other things I should be giving up. Like?

Here’s some to-don’ts for me. Don’t check your emails for at least an hour (did you know we check our emails on average 80 times a day?!). Don’t procrastinate. Don’t worry about the future. Don’t focus on the result. Don’t think about missing one day of your 7-days-a-week workout. Don’t worry about one cheat meal. And so it goes.

Even a short but effective to-don’t list can make a to do list really effective!

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Deification

One of the misconceptions about Hinduism that even Hindus harbour is that they think there are 300 million Gods and Goddesses and hence so many different things to ask for from each one.

This might be true to some shallow extent. But from a spiritual point of view, all the asking and begging and pleading for materialistic perishables would be utterly meaningless.

Here instead are two better ways to think about deities.

  1. Instead of focusing on our own wants all the time, we move the spotlight to the deity. This reduces our ego – and by itself perhaps a pinnacle of achievement among spiritual milestones.
  2. Instead of focusing on our own weaknesses all the time, maybe there is a way to focus on strengths? The more we think of our limitations, the more self-reinforcing they become. But visualizing a deity and its superpowers? And 300 million deities? That’s easily several billion positive traits to focus our minds on. Imagine the self-reinforcing power of that in comparison!

Anyone can make use of the power of deities. It is not superstition, but a super decision!

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Prep work

The whole world seems to focus only on success. Economic success. Monetary success. Net worth. Success in exams. Success in career. Success, success, success.

We know the opposite of success is failure right? And failure = end of the world. We’ve addressed failure and success many times here in Forever Happy Now.

But here are two very important and interesting ways to rephrase success. And to tell us, that success isn’t an event, but a journey.

  1. “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” This is a super-quote, directly from Benjamin Franklin himself.
  2. “You don’t fail in exams, you only fail in preparation.” This super-quote, I recently found on Twitter.

That’s it. Success will come, as long as the ground work is being laid. Our only focus every minute of every day, must be to keep preparing, and working, to the best of our abilities. Success will come, because where else can it go?

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Immersive

As adults, we often struggle to learn new things. It could be a new skill – usually learning to draw, learning a new instrument – or wait for it – the most favourite of them all – learning a new language!

We often try for a few hours, maybe a few days even. And then the interest levels start to go down. In languages where you have genders for objects – like a train is feminine or a bat is masculine, for a native English speaker, this can be verbal hell.

They say ‘immersion learning’ is the best form of learning. Want to learn French? Go live in the French countryside for a few months. Nobody will speak to you in English, and if you want to survive, you have no choice but to converse in French.

And then the thought strikes – “Oh how I wish I had learned this as a kid. Look at the kids all around me, they are so quick to grasp everything.” And then we give up.

I was quite surprised therefore to read, that kids are actually not very good at learning. They are certainly not better than adults. And if anything, we should have a huge head start. Then why do we struggle? Because we only read and plan, but rarely take action. But kids? They don’t know to read or plan. They only act. Watch any toddler repeat the same broken words and sentences hundreds of thousands of times, until it becomes perfect. How many times to do we repeat what we are trying to learn?

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Upside warrior

There’s a very interesting book I’ve been reading called The Way of the Wall Street Warrior by Dave Liu (link). It’s got some amazing tips and tricks on rising up the corporate ladder – quite possibly the best book that exists on this specific topic. While the title has ‘Wall Street’ in it, the book can arguably be useful in ‘Whatever Street’, as the author himself suggests.

We’ve all heard of Michael Corleone’s “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer” super statement in the epic movie The Godfather.

Dave goes one step further, and integrates his own learnings, i.e. there’s no point having enemies. Instead, have only two buckets: friends, and very good friends!

Why? Because having enemies is hard work. You’ve to constantly watch over your back. And tackling one enemy might not seem daunting. But what if they all gang up on you? Scary story. Besides, as the author asserts, having enemies means substantial downside and zero upside. But having friends? There’s only upside, even if it may not be immediately obvious.

So then, how does one go about winning friends? We’ve seen the solutions many times here on ForeverHappyNow. The smartcut from Dave? Be nice; listen more; be genuinely interested in others; try to help others – easy isn’t it?

Do read the book. It is very cool and very funny (and this is not a paid endorsement) 🙂

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Chosen two

In a satsang session a few years ago, my Guru was asked to do a quick recap of the entire Gita.

What better way, than to do it in just 4 minutes? Wow a 4-minute Gita!

He recited 1 shloka per chapter, so 18 chapters, 18 shlokas, with their meanings and application, and all extempore. It was truly a sight to behold.

For only the 2nd chapter, he recited not one, but two shlokas. 2.71 and 2.72.

To say he thinks these are important shlokas would be a massive understatement.

2.71 is vihaaya kaamaanya sarvaan. Vihaaya is giving up, kaamaan is desires, sarvaan is all. And then he recited is backwards. Sarvaan kaamaan vihaaya – All desires give up.

2.72 is similar, stating that one who achieves such state of mind, achieves liberation even at the time of death.

Each chapter has only 1 shloka that he picked. But chapter 2 alone had two. Is it important? Yes, twice as important.

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Good politics / bad politics

We all know folks who get so disgruntled with office politics and say “I will never drop to that level. I hate all this backbiting.”

For sure, dealing with office politics can be tricky. For a superior, even acknowledging that it exists can be tricky.

But the word ‘politics’ is most likely a misnomer in office situations. Or at least not completely representative of the truth.

For instance, politics is a concern for those who struggle to build and maintain relationships. On the contrary, for those with the increased ability to get along with people, politics is rarely an issue. Is there something wrong with having the increased ability to deal with people? Most work is all about dealing with people only! When most people are running to master Photoshop, Excel, Python, Matlab, Web Development and myriad other skills, the one that probably matters the most is being left out.

From our point of view, we can always try to benefit the maximum number of people with our actions. This will ensure a positive rub off from any ‘politics’. And it goes without saying, that politics of the bad kind, where the focus is one-upmanship at the expense of others, is avoidable. However, there is nothing wrong with asking for a promotion or a raise, as the effort is one’s own, and by the book. Right?

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Problematic

Verse 2.55 in the Gita is an interesting one.

But before that, do we have any problems in life? If no, then you are a jivanmukta. If yes, which should be the case for most of us, then the next questions should be – where do our problems come from?

For everyone who is working, we might unanimously think “Oh all my life’s problems come from my boss”. For those of us who are studying, we might think “Oh these darned exams. I love to study and read, but I so hate giving exams and having to compete in the mindless rat race”. For others, problems come from maybe an irritating sibling, or a friend, or a colleague, or even from certain things not going our way.

So the sources of problems can be multifarious.

But Krishna has a different take. He is saying “Hang on, all your problems, my problems, the world’s problems have only one source. And that source, is an unstable mind”.

And hence verse 2.55 says, “When one thoroughly casts off all cravings of the mind, is satisfied in the Self, through the joy of the Self, he is called one of stable mind.”

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Superior inferior

In the workplace, a common complaint I’ve heard across industries and sectors is that it appears the seniors / superiors / bosses / managers don’t really do much. They also don’t know much. But by virtue of their legacy, having warmed their chairs for many years, they get to be where they are.

How to tackle this? Here are some ways to look at this:

  1. If we are junior to someone else, we cannot control the other person’s current position or future career trajectory.
  2. We can control what we do with our hours put in at work though.
  3. In many cases, a person’s authority in a particular position comes solely because of the title. If an incompetent person is made head of the team, it is still the head only who can take certain decisions, whether bad or good.
  4. If a superior doesn’t ‘deserve’ a role, s/he may hold the position for a very long time, but the impact they will create will be negligible.
  5. If we get a chance to go into that role in say 3 years or 5 years, what would our impact be then? What would we want it to be?
  6. If the impact has to be much better, then we need to start putting in substantial efforts – from today itself.
  7. We cannot control the outcome of tomorrow, but we can control what we learn today, what skills we develop today and what networks we build today. This is most important. And it has never been easier to learn new things and add to ones repertoire – whether via Udemy, or YouTube or Coursera or any other.

As Swami Vivekananda has said, “We find ourselves in the position for which we are fit, and if one has some capacity above another, the world will find that out too.”

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Drive thru

A study recently found that the most stressful city in the world for driving is… you guessed it or maybe not… Mumbai!

Given that I’ve been living and driving here for years, I can only agree, somewhat. Only ‘somewhat’, because Mumbai is very stressful to drive in, but all of India can be really stressful to drive in too.

There’s just so many people, everyone as if waiting to just jump in front of your vehicle when you least expect it. There is also massive congestion, unexpected bovinity in the middle of highways, zero wiggle room, no rules, no lane discipline, no lanes, no signals and in general a lot of peril.

However, there are two things in my humble observation that keeps all this driving insanity remarkably orderly.

  1. Go slow (no scope for autobahn here!)
  2. But keep moving.

Going slow means you get to stop when required and not worry about hitting someone who unexpectedly shows up. By keeping on moving, you ensure that you get to where you want, slowly but surely.

In this hyper-fast age of advancement and spectacular wins and stress and everyone rubbing their own successes in everyone else’s faces, following these two maxims for life in general, could be really really rewarding.

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Nimittas – part 3 of 3

Knowing now that being the nimitta of the Lord is the easy way to moksha, how exactly does one go about this?

Krishna himself gives a clue in verse 11.54, specifying a particular type of devotion or bhakti. Not any bhakti, but ananya bhakti.

Ananya, refers to no ‘anya’, i.e. no other. There is no other, apart from the Lord. This is not of some specific deity necessarily, but could also be of faith in the Creator. If there is such unconditional, indelible love towards the Lord, thinking of only Him 24×7, then that would be ananya bhakti.

Is this practical? Some research suggests we have nearly 40,000 thoughts a day. Where is the space for 24×7 ananya bhakti then!

My Guru says we can start small (remember ‘microsteps‘?). Offer gratitude to the Lord before sleeping, after waking up, before eating, after eating, before working, after working, before leaving the house, after coming back, after sneezing, after coughing, while yawning and so on.

Eventually, everything we do will automatically become associated with the Lord.

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Nimittas – part 2 of 3

In verse 11.33 of the Gita, Lord Krishna tells Arjuna “nimitta maatram bhava savyasaachin“. Savyasachin refers to Arjuna, but in a roundabout fashion, as the word in Sanskrit means ambidextrous, or one who can wield the bow effortlessly with either hand. The important word as we saw yesterday as well, is nimitta or instrument.

Krishna tells Arjuna that he has already slain all the adharmic enemies facing him on the battlefield, and that all he had to do was to stand up and fight.

This verse is immediately misinterpreted by many, stating that everything is predetermined and how Krishna leaves no chance for free will. How fatalistic and defeatist, they say.

But saying this would be missing the point. Krishna still offers Arjuna a very important choice. He recommends him to get up and fight, but does not force him to. Arjuna had the option of going back home and chilling out if he wanted to. Isn’t that not free will?

All Krishna said, was to be a part of the Grand (aka Karmic) Plan, where dharma would be upheld no matter what. It would benefit Arjuna personally if he would choose to act as the nimitta in that position. But if not, another nimitta would come by, in order to maintain dharma. Wouldn’t we want a similar justice system, where no matter the person playing the role of judge, the wicked get punished?

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Nimittas – part 1 of 3

There’s a branch of astrology called Nimmita astrology. Nimmita really means ‘instrument’. Astrologers that work on this principle look for cues from the world around us.

For instance, if someone were to come to the astrologer with a question, “Do you think my child will be a boy or a girl?”, and at that very moment there appears a young girl at the door, or the sound of a girl playing or laughing outside, the astrologer considers this ‘an expression of the Lord’ and the ‘girl’ in the scene as a nimmitta, i.e. an instrument, and makes his prediction.

Regardless of whether this approach works or not, Lord Krishna in the Gita asks Arjuna to be a nimmita of the Lord, i.e. to be an instrument of His. Are there any benefits to this? Absolutely, and life changingly so:

  1. No more stress, no more anxiety. Why? Because I am not doing the work. The Lord is working through me, and I am only the instrument. Then why would I be anxious?
  2. My 100% focus shifts from the result, to the quality of effort. Why? Because I am not doing some ordinary work (no matter what the actual work is), but rather the Lord’s own work!

A simple change in mindset and perception can make such a big difference! Putting this into practise isn’t easy. But the more we believe that we are indeed nimmitas only, the more this will make sense and the more life will become easier.

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Predictive analytics

Put a picture of a snake and mention the words ‘kaala sarpa dosha’, and this is modus operandi 101 for many pseudo astrologers to make a quick buck. Much of this deep rooted fear is unwarranted, as many of the leading vedic astrologers concur that there is nary a reference to this dosha in tradition and ancient texts.

But oh that fear… what to do? What will happen to me? Many of us are living our lives in constant fear of something that may in all probability not even happen.

It is common in India to go to an astrologer and hope to identify how the future would pan out. This makes sense to an extent, if the native is a new born baby. The chart would indeed be highly indicative.

However for someone who is say 40 years old, does the birth chart have significance? Yes it does to some extent, but the birth chart can only predict life based on, you guessed it, the birth!

But since then, 40 years have passed. Prarabhdha karma is as of the birth time, not beyond. So much of free will, in all these 40 years, could potentially have completely transformed the life of the person… of any of us really! But if we choose to remain rooted to what the birth chart indicates, and surrender to our so-called fate and the subsequently induced fear, then how will our true potential come to the fore?

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L_t o_h_r p_r_o_ w_n

Can you try to figure out the blanks in the title above? Somewhat like guessing the letters in that 90’s show Wheel of Fortune. Sadly, no prizes here though, not a monetary one anyway.

This title above, is what my Guru wrote to me recently. Absolute pearls of wisdom, and clearly I need it 🙂

We think degrees and education beget success. Not so. There is only one thing that is needed. And that is win-win mastery.

Here are his words:

The principle in win-win mastery is these 4 words. 'Let other person win'.

When? Once in a year on their birthday? Or every month? Or week? Or day? Hour? Minute? Second?

Yes every nano-second!

No one can defeat him/her who agrees with you. This appears to be the art of flattery. But it is the quickest way to win life's invisible gold medals, and have practically zero adversaries, zero enemies, even competitors. All gold medals of life will be yours.

An intelligent wife / husband / child / parent / grandparent each can' win, if they brush aside one major obstacle called ... Ego. Yes, the root cause is ego. Watch only one person in life, who's name is MY EGO.
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Running for what?

A podcast I was listening to recently had Allyson Felix as the guest of honour. I had not heard of her before, but she came across as a really nice human being. And that is not to say she’s not famous – she’s the most decorated US track athlete in Olympic history, having won 11 medals – breaking Carl Lewis’ record of 10.

What really struck me was how she found her passion. Most Olympians and sportspersons we meet seem to be born into their sport. Of course there will be a few exceptions (like Allyson), but by and large, it would appear like these exceptionally talented people found their calling very early on, like in their early school days.

And this is something many of us struggle with on a daily basis. We see start-up founders make hundreds of millions, while we feel aimless and lost. We see people who’ve found their calling, while all we seem to end up with are calls from spammers. How to find this passion then? Should we give up?

Here’s what Allyson said that I really liked. She said that most of her peers who found their passions early on, became such hardcore specialists (in a specific sport or activity), that by the time they turned 30, they were already burned out. Whereas in her own experience as a 35 year old medallist, she only entered her sport well into college! Till then, she was just enjoying other sports like basketball that she really liked, but was nowhere near good as in running. I think this is a great lesson for me – no need to struggle to find a passion and get burned out or stay dejected. Instead just enjoy the work I am doing, and live in the now, today, forever happy.

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Control freaks

Control, control, control. Everyone wants to control.

Boss wants to control his employees. Big boss wants to control the mid level bosses. Junior fellows try to exert control over the new recruits, who in turn try to control the interns.

Employees in general hate the upper echelon control freaks. And so they want to start-up, be their own bosses. Only to realize, that there too, the control lies with the customer, because as we all know, customer is king.

Even the CEO lives a shackled life, his doings controlled by the Board of Directors. The Board themselves, are controlled by the shareholders. The shareholders are controlled by the whims and fancies of the market, and at other times by the opulence exhibited by other shareholders.

Mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law wonder who exerts more control, while the men of the family think they are in control. What they often control is only the twirl of their moustaches! And the kids? Surely the kids are controlled by the parents no? Spend enough time with a young brat and you will quickly see where the control centre lies. But they too are controlled by schools, exams, the rat race, and life in general.

All in all, the external cannot be controlled. Hence the need to look internal.

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Pet chasing

Imagine a dog or a cat or a mouse. Yes like in Tom & Jerry. You are trying your best to catch the animal, but it is just so quick, darting about – here now, next second hopped onto the wall, and the next onto the tree. Phew, all this running around and chasing is really tiring.

Is there a better way? Yes there is.

How about just sitting quietly, with some pet food. Yummy. No need to chase the animal anymore. The animals love pet food, and so will come right to your lap.

The animal here represents nothing but the whole world. We are constantly chasing after it, looking for one elusive success after another.

Through this entire journey, we forget the most important aspect, which is ourselves.

The pet food is our skills, talents and abilities. If we work on constantly improving ourselves, we don’t need to chase anyone for anything, and instead the whole world will come chasing after us.

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Advisory

So here’s an age old conundrum. Say someone you know well is doing something wrong. Maybe the best friend is making a mistake, with his wasting habits. Maybe it’s the son who isn’t being respectful of his old parents. Maybe it is a newly wed bride who isn’t doing her duties well enough. Maybe its a new mom who isn’t caring for her baby as much. Or maybe a husband is not treating his wife well enough. The permutations and combinations are many, but the question is the same.

“As someone who is seeing these wrongdoings happen, is it not my duty to go and correct them? Or at least tell them what to do?”

While we are caught up in that moment, it might certainly seem like we should do something. But little good comes from poking our noses in anything unsolicited.

Picture this. No one asked for your advice. Yet you went ahead and gave it. The other person didn’t like it, and asked you not to meddle. Or the other person liked it, but didn’t give you any credit. In any case, no one beyond a certain age (say 15) likes ‘to be told’ anything. So your advice, even if the best solution for their problem, results only in friction.

And as the giver of advice, we may think we are being detached by not worrying about whether the other person accepts it or not, acts on it or not. But if that is the case, then we should truly never think of or speak of whether the advice was implemented or not. Are we strong enough for that?

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Scare away

One of the reasons why people run away from spirituality is because of perceived impracticality. Like getting rid of attachments.

Whoa, getting rid of my attachments? This means I should not be attached to my spouse, my parents, my kids, my relatives, my friends… Surely I do not want to let go of all these people. Is this what spirituality is telling me to do? To shun them away? To live a solitary existence?

Absolutely not. This is the perception of impracticality right there, and also why a Guru is so important – because such a person can not only demystify what is advocated, but also apply it to our present times.

“Don’t be attached”, doesn’t mean do not love the people around you. It only means do not be conditional in your approach. If we love (not the romantic type) only one person, then it likely means we are deriving something conditional from that relationship, and that is the reason for the love. This is transactional. It doesn’t free us, rather only binds us even more.

True love, is selfless. Much like God would love each one of us – equally, impartially, or a mother would, her children.

Love is not a finite currency. The more we give, the more we are automatically replenished with.

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How to vacation

Ah vacations! Don’t we all love them? Or at least love the first few days of those vacations? Sure the subsequent few days are often spent worrying about going back-to-school or back-to-work. But there certainly is some bliss to be found in those dream vacays. Here are some thoughts on this topic:

  1. We often think a vacation is for our bodies to get a change of place, and some much needed rest. However, the body gets all the rest it needs if we sleep well at night. So vacations it would seem, are really needed for the mind. 
  2. From a spiritual vantage point, the only time to take rest, is to take rest from always serving ourselves. For serving others, there is no question of rest. Surprisingly, when we work selflessly, we never feel tired.
  3. Just look at our bodies. What if our organs decided to take rest? If the heart decided to stop beating and take rest for 5 minutes. Or the lungs wanted to go on vacation for a week, because it is bored of doing the same thing over and over!
  4. Most human beings want only one thing. And that is the need to feel important, and be recognized and acknowledged. The challenge with being and feeling important, is that we cannot enjoy life and be chilled out. As Bertrand Russel said, “If you’re beginning to think what you’re doing is very important, then you need to take a holiday.”
  5. In the book titled Gurudev, on Sri Sri Ravishankar (founder of Art of Living) by his sister Bhanumati N, a question is asked to him. “Gurudev, when do you rest?”. His answer, “In between lifetimes”.
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Detaching from the world

This is a recurrent theme in the Gita. Lord Krishna tells Arjuna to remain detached from the material world, but to also continue doing his duty to the best of his ability. We know from personal experience that this is easier said than done.

For instance, I would be okay giving my heart and soul into my office work, but that’s also because I’m attached to the results. If I was to be given a zero salary, zero bonus, zero increment and no promotion, would I be able to work as hard? That is probably the real test of my detachment. Ironically, if I can work this way, then all the salary and bonus and promotions will likely find its way to me automatically!

One lovely example of detachment as explained by Sri Ramakrishna is that of a baby’s nanny. The nanny knows very well that the child is not hers. Yet she lovingly takes care of the baby for many years and gives it unending love and care, probably more than it’s mother, who is caught up in the vagaries of her professional life. The nanny may even have her own little children who she is unable to be with. But that does not come in the way of her work.

Even so, the nanny knows very well that the baby is not hers, and that any day her mistress may ask her to pack up and leave. Thus there is constant mental detachment, while physcially she takes care of the baby as her own.

Can I mirror this in my office work? For anything around us where we believe we are getting too attached, we can remind ourselves that we are merely caretakers (like the nanny), and not owners. Because the real owner is the One who created us all.

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The happiest animal

In the much acclaimed TV show called Ted Lasso, there’s an amazing scene. Nay there are many many amazing scenes, and dialogues.

In one, a soccer player falls to the ground, is tackled and beaten, and then booed by the rest of the players. Clearly something isn’t right. The player on the ground is dejected. Coach Ted calls him to the side line, and asks him, “Do you know what the happiest animal in the world is?”

“What?!”, exclaims the player in disbelief, little expecting such trivia when there’s so much going on in his head already.

“A goldfish”, comes the answer from coach Ted, “Because it only has a 10 second memory. Be a goldfish.”

Had a bad day today? No problem, be a goldfish.
Had a good day today? Also no problem, be a goldfish.

Only then can we live in the moment.

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This is the biggest sin – part 2 of 2

We saw yesterday how aham was the biggest sin. This is more from a spiritual angle though. What of the material living-breathing world we live in? Is there an equivalent such mega-sin?

As I thought about this for a few days, only one recurring thought kept coming back. What leads us to live below our potential? What prevents us from achieving what we can, ought to, are able to, but still don’t?

That’s when it dawned that perhaps the biggest sin could be nothing more than the weakness of our own minds. I don’t want to say anything more on this except to just reproduce Swami Vivekananda’s outstanding words on this menace.

Misery dares not approach us – till the mind is weakened. The weak have no place here, in this life or in any other life. Weakness leads to slavery. Weakness leads to all kinds of misery, physical and mental. Weakness is death. There are hundreds of thousands of microbes surrounding us, but they cannot harm us unless we become weak, until the body is ready and predisposed to receive them. There may be a million microbes of misery, floating about us. Never mind! They dare not approach us, they have no power to get a hold on us, until the mind is weakened. This is the great fact: strength is life, weakness is death. Strength is felicity, life eternal, immortal; weakness is constant strain and misery: weakness is death.

Could there be a bigger sin?

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This is the biggest sin – part 1 of 2

Look at the world around us. So many sins are committed by so many people on a daily basis. The aggregate of sins on a sin meter would hit infinity in no time.

Then look at ourselves. Are we any different?

The countless mistakes we’ve made, well, “by mistake”, those are probably not sins, and can perhaps be forgiven. But even though we made these mistakes unintentionally, they still could have hurt someone deeply right?

And the sins that are committed on purpose – what about those? No respite there.

My Guru though says there is only one real sin. The biggest sin of them all. And we have all committed it. And continue to commit it.

That sin is called aham in Sanskrit. The “I” feeling. The ego. The conviction that I am the body and mind and not the soul.

In front of this sin, all the others are meaningless. If this one sin is rectified, the concept of a sin itself becomes irrelevant.

Concluded tomorrow…

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G for …

Who is greater? God or Guru?

Atheists would say it doesn’t matter.
Consultants would say it depends.
Theists would say God.
A loving disciple would say Guru.
A realized soul would say they are no different.

Which is correct?

Here is what Sant Kabir had to say in my favourite doha (couplets).

Guru Govind dou khade, kake lagoon paay?
Balihari Guru aapne, Govind diyo batay.

If the Guru and God are both standing here, who’s feet should I fall at?
Choose the Guru, because he only imparted the knowledge to even recognize God.

Such a profound couplet!

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Magi-cal

Here’s a lovely story I came across called the Gift of the Magi, and I paraphrase: There’s a couple that can barely make ends meet. But it’s Christmas soon, and so the wife wants to get her man a gift, specifically – a gold chain for his most favourite possession – his shiny watch. But she has no money. What can she do?

She cuts off her lovely long blond tresses, sells them to a wig maker, and uses the money to buy the gold chain. She cooks food, prepares the table, and awaits her man, bald head and all. Her husband enters, and is shell shocked seeing his bald wife. “Do I not look beautiful to you?”, she asks him.

“It’s not that darling. You are more beautiful than ever.” And then he hands her her gift wrapped present. She opens it, to find a beautiful designer comb that she had always had her eyes on. “But…how could you afford this?”, she asked him. And he pointed to his wrist. There was no watch. He’d sold it off to buy his wife her favourite comb. She too gave him her present – a watch chain, for a watch that no longer existed.

What fools both were, weren’t they? Buying things that they couldn’t even afford, and that too which wasn’t even needed anymore? What would she do with a designer comb when she didn’t even have hair? And what would he do with a watch chain, if he didn’t have a watch?!

Quite the contrary. Both of them were able to demonstrate in action, that they were each able to give up what was dearest to them, simply to spark happiness in their loved one. Isn’t that the ultimate sacrifice?

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People’s choice

There used to be a bunch of highly prestigious awards called the Padma Awards in India. These were given to exceptional achievers in society. But the awards also often only went to the rich and elite.

That has changed, with the new people’s Padma Awards. Now it goes to anyone making waves, with a focus on grassroots India, and nominated by the people. This is an outstanding initiative.

Most of the awardees are uneducated and illiterate. Some were married off early, and some ostracized by society. Many have toiled laboriously and continue to do so. It is not wealth or income of these awardees that decides their inclusion to the list, but rather their quality of impact.

A few examples: A 77-year old retired principal has been changing the lives of destitute children by teaching them to read and write, at a mind boggling cost of 2 rupees (2.7 cents) a year. A 68-year orange vendor who grew up in abject poverty and never had access to education, used all his earnings to setup a school for the kids in his village. A 77-year old woman who had no education is dubbed the ‘Encyclopaedia of the Forest’ having planted over thirty thousand trees and knows everything about the flora of the forest. A 102-year old class 7 dropout (no money to continue further) has been teaching kids and adults basic math and alphabets for many decades, and all for free.

Nothing can be more inspirational than these people who started with nothing but have yet achieved so much. Their secret? Selflessness. Imagine what each one of us could achieve, given the head start we have in life, and if we worked so selflessly!

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What am I doing?

There are these days, where the questions flow thick and fast. What am I doing? Am I living my life to its fullest potential? How are so many, so successful and so young? How can I find happiness? Will I ever find the answers I seek? Will I ever stop asking questions?

And then I read these awesome few lines from a book called Karma by Acharya Prashant.

To not have the thought that you are diseased is health, and that is Yoga. Yoga is not about feeling special. Yoga is not about being in a great state of consciousness. Yoga is about not having a lot of things that we usually have. Now, what do we usually have? We usually have inferiority; we usually have lack of fulfillment; we usually have a lot of search and seeking; we usually have a lot of questions. Yoga is about not having these. ‘I am already all right. What would I do with achievement? I am already all right. What would I do with medicines and methods? I am already all right. What would I do with questions and their answers?’ That is Yoga. Yoga is not a special feeling, mind you. Yoga is the absence of that which we usually keep feeling. Thoughts are still there, feelings are still there, yet there is freedom from thought and feeling.
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Delightful

Have you come across people who are always happy no matter what? Like if you just see them, you feel like smiling too?

Yes, I know, hardly anyone like that nowadays. Not all the time anyway.

One guy though is always happy. His name in fact has happiness inbuilt – one Mr. Ross Gay.

He did something called a Delight project, which was his own idea.

He made it his life’s objective to look for and document, daily moments of delight. He later wrote a book chronicling his experiences called The Book of Delights. You hear him on a podcast like I did here, you’ll immediately see how happy and delighted he sounds!

So where does delight come from? You go looking for it, and it appears in the most mundane of areas. Like our bodies functioning normally; seeing those around us happy; participating in social activities; spending time with loved ones; playing with pets, or babies; just breathing-in the cool morning air; feeling the breeze on our faces… and you get the drift.

It could be anything. One thing for each day. Just soaking in the delight. Feeling it for every single second of that experience. Feeling alive. And feeling deep amounts of gratitude, for even just having the ability to feel that delight. Wow!

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Parts of speech

We all know the parts of speech in English right – noun, pronoun, verb, adverb, adjective, preposition, interjection, conjunction – maybe I missed a few?

Now guess which of these is the most important? Not the noun, which is subjective (pun-unintended), or the adjective, which is always flowery. Rather, it is the simplistic, yet potent ‘verb’.

Here’s how google defines it: “Verb: This is the most important part of a speech, for without a verb, a sentence would not exist. Simply put, this is a word that shows an action (physical or mental) or state of being of the subject in a sentence.”

A word that shows an action or state of being of the subject in a sentence. So cool, and so relevant to spirituality too, because verbs are the very essence of karma yoga!

The ‘who is doing?’ is not relevant. The ‘what is being done’ is also not relevant. Neither is ‘why are we doing?’. Instead, the highest focus, is on the ‘doing’ itself. It’s not as if the other things don’t matter, but they matter less. The end result isn’t key, the process of doing is more important. Because if the process is done well, then the other things will be taken care of. And before someone disagrees and says the above questions are important – yes, they are. But not ‘during’ the ‘doing’. For those, there can be a separate session of planning, brainstorming etc. all of which are verbs for their own sakes.

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Inheritense

Had a client meeting recently after ages. It was an in-person meeting, at a café. And my word was the café full! Absolutely jam packed, teeming with people. Open air, yes, but still, hard to believe that just a few months ago, people were scared to so much as just get out of their homes, for fear of an invisible killer. Such is human memory. So short, not necessarily so sweet.

Another thing that we don’t remember too well? The price paid for luxury. The price paid for money. “For”, not “with”.

My client had this to say. He has 2 brothers. And his dad died some time back. Did the 3 brothers get an inheritance? Not even a dollar. Instead, it was the other way around. He had left some overdrafts and other dues which the 3 men only discovered after the man’s passing. They got together and paid off the balances.

Here’s my client’s thoughts after he recounted this. “I’m really thankful that my dad did not leave us any inheritance. Because if he did, then we brothers would have squabbled over who gets what. And no matter how fairly we tried to divide it, we’d still have ended up unhappy, and this would have broken the family. I’ve seen this in the case of so many families it’s not funny. I’m really glad we got nothing, because having money is a curse.”

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Young dung

Often times, new comers, especially youngsters, come to the satsang seemingly in bliss. No, no, not that they’re high or anything, but they can often not see the point of having a satsang or being in one.

“Life is good. I’m working in a good company. I get recognized for my work. I get a monthly salary. I’m interacting with my friends and colleagues and having fun. Everything is fine and dandy. Then why do I need satsang at all? Meditation, liberation, sanskrit verses, detachment, no desires and blah blah blah, my problems aren’t really so big that I need to do all these boring things”, all the youth seem to say.

There can be two ways to think about this.

1. Yes, forget satsang and spirituality and all that. If really someone is in nirvana with the life around them, then so be it! No stress, no anxiety, no peer pressure, no comparison right? Life’s good, and everyone believes you.

2. Maybe one day, some day, hopefully never, there is the off-chance that something in that “perfect life” may not go according to plan. And when that happens, opening up a chapter of the Gita will be too little, too late, and meaningless. Because spirituality is not about knowledge, but about action. And no artist perfected his craft with just the first stroke. That’s why years of practice are necessary, and no different for spiritual success either.

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Happy Diwali aka Deepavali

Best wishes to all the dharmic people of this world.

’tis the festive season, and more specifically it is Deepavali.

Most people know it as Diwali. According to Sadhguru, the original name was Deepavali, but it got corrupted and was modified to Diwali. In any case, what’s in a name?

More important, is the emotion and the rationale associated with this festival of lights.

The lights and the bursting of firecrackers are supposed to physcially alert us in the winter months, rather than slip us into hibernation as most animals do during that season.

But as is always the case, it is also symbolic of something deeper.

While it signifies the dominance of light over dark, it also represents the victory of our inner Self over the darkness of our ignorance / ego.

My heartfelt wish that each one of you enjoys a splendid spiritual transformation journey over the coming year and more!

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Smile please!

A video I saw on whatsapp recently was just awesome.

It was about a supermarket in Denmark.

At first glance, it seemed like any other supermarket.

Except, that the main entrance glass doors are shut, and don’t have any handles.

How do they open then?

Only if the person looking to enter at the door smiles.

A camera with AI is connected to the door, and as soon as the person smiles, it is Open Sesame!

Most people are anxious, stressed, moody, angry or worse, as they come to the door, and often in a hurry to just make their purchase and leave.

But the moment they smile and the door opens, their faces light up, and they clearly are having their best moment at least in that day.

Imagine if all doors everywhere would only open this way 😄

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Negative stop

A video that was circulating on social media recently caught my attention. A bunch of young girls – probably in their early 20s – had gathered around the Dalai Lama. The question one of them asked him was, “Why do I keep getting negative thoughts?”

The Dalai Lama didn’t have to think much. He said there are two things that lead to this.
1. The first is self-centeredness.
2. The second is that the reality is not truly as we see it (he quotes the Shunyata theory – i.e. nothing exists as it appears).

The girls just giggled and the video cut off. But their expressions suggested they didn’t fully catch the purport of his words. I too had to think for a while, and I’m still not sure I’ve understood fully.

Self-centeredness is the easy one. We look at the world with eyes of relativity. Nothing is taken as is. If someone gets a good bonus, we immediately compare that bonus to our bonus, and the self-centeredness brings in feelings of jealousy, anger and incompetence, all of which can only lead to negative thoughts.

The second point though. Was he talking about maya? Or maybe that we only see the things we want to, rather than as they are? What do you think?

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Across the road

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get to the other side!

And why did the kitten cross the road? Because someone taped the kitty to the chicken of course!

Okay okay, my apologies, worst joke in the world. But I actually did see the video of a kitty trying to cross the road. Not because it wanted to, but because it just unknowingly scampered into the centre of a 6 lane highway.

So many vehicles, all zooming past at breakneck speed. The kitten obviously had little clue of its bearings. It was afraid, and probably did the worst thing. Instead of trying to run to either side of the road, it just lay down still.

Car after truck after bus after car is seen swerving in last ditch attempts to save the helpless creature. Some drivers expertly manoeuvre their cars to ensure they pass cleanly over the baby.

Until one fellow puts on his hazard lights, stops his car a few feet away from the kitty, steps out, picks the baby up, cuddles it in his arms, takes it with him into his car, and drives away.

Such empathy. And one lucky kitty.

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Fleeting

Here’s a Chinese proverb I came across:

1. If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap.
2. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing.
3. If you want happiness for a month, get married.
4. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune.
5. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody else. 

All of these are true. Point 3 is funny even. And these must be taken in the right spirit. It is not about the activities, but rather about the fleeting nature of happiness. This has even been studied by scientists, including the various chemicals released by the brain (endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin etc.).

The winner is always the last one. Point 5. Do more for others. In fact, do everything for others only. Because there is no difference deep down, from a spiritual point of view. Our scriptures say that if we do for ourselves only, we are only adding fuel to the fire which is our ego.

The challenge is, that even doing point 5 well is hard, because we look for some signs of acknowledgement from the people who have just benefitted from our help. When they don’t even say a thank you, that can get us really riled up. The real test of spiritual progress is how little such feelings impact us.

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Monk-ey business

In his book Think like a Monk, monk-turned-author (and many other things) Jay Shetty writes about competition. Not just normal competition like in sports, or at work.

But competition amongst monks. What? Monks have renounced the whole world right? What is there for them to compete on?

He says in their ashram, monks would aspire for such high levels of purity that they would compete as follows:

  1. I meditated longer than everyone else
  2. I ate lesser than that monk
  3. I outlasted all of them, etc.

He poses a valid question at the end. If a monk behaves like this, then what’s the point of, well, being a monk?

He also concludes beautifully with a reference from another book called The Monastic Way. “In a monastery, the only competition allowed is to outstrip each other in showing more love and respect.”

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Dutiful desire

Remember the awesome Conversion Test we discussed here previously?

Got a desire? Is it a good one? The test involves checking if it can be converted into a duty. Binge watching Netflix? Big big big desire. But is it good enough to be converted into a duty? Not unless you work for Netflix, or maybe a competitor and tasked with peer benchmarking!

In any case, doing such tests and banning Netflix/Amazon Prime/others from our lives could border on extreme. We don’t want to become dull and boring now do we? Recognizing that we are human, and need the occasional or even regular ‘fun-time’, here’s a brilliant 3-step checklist one of the satsangis recently dished out:

  1. Apply a filter. Is the action dharmic or adharmic? If adharmic, then eliminate it right away. Watching video-on-demand isn’t adharmic, so we can safely move on to step 2.
  2. Moderation is key. In our example, regular binge watching, is not moderation. Maybe an hour a day, depending on the circumstances, could be permissible.
  3. Balance the scales. Watched Netflix for an hour? Great. Now ensure you spend an hour doing something else that would ‘add value’ to yourself and society. Read scriptures. Further your goals. Exercise. Help someone. Attend satsang. No compromises on the good stuff!
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Improv your life

A friend of mine from college used to be fantastic at improv acting.

How he’d get ideas on the spot, how’d he string his thoughts together, how he’d act on the spot, and yet make it all comedic, I have no clue.

In a recent TV series I was watching, I came across a fundamental principle in improv.

It’s called “Yes, and?”

This is a way of continuing the dialogue. Accepting whatever the other person on stage just said, with a “Yes”, even if it is completely nonsensical.

The “And” after the “Yes” helps with continuing the conversation. Like a nonchalant ‘okay, what next?’

Even outside of improv, this struck me as an amazing way to look at life. We’re each beset by so many unexpected troubles and issues. Instead of getting smacked in the face and falling down, we can stay rooted and ask the question “Yes, and?”, then put on a smile, keep calm, and carry on.

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Confusion, instruction, disciple-tion – part 2

Of course Arjuna said he feels defeated already. Nay, not defeated, but more deflated, like retired-hurt, to use a cricket term. Or maybe a hit-wicket? He didn’t even want to star in the war, the same one for which he had trained all his life!

So he finally came to Krishna and surrendered completely. “Krishna, I’m lost and I’m a mess. Please instruct me. Take me as your disciple. What should I do now?”

But let’s look at the other side of the battlefield shall we? Just days before the Kurukshetra war, the arch villain Duryodhana had a meeting with Krishna too. He was in fact offered a choice – either Krishna, or a massive army. Duryodhana chose the latter, because tens of thousands of soldiers are better than the Lord Krishna no? Or was it because he didn’t recognize that Krishna was an avatar of the Lord?

No, Duryodhana very well knew of Krishna’s true nature. In spite of this knowledge, he chose the army. Not just that, he also told Krishna thus, “I know what I am doing is wrong. I know I am on the wrong side of Dharma. I know I should be choosing you. I know I am a wicked person. But still Krishna, I am unable to do what is right.”

What is the difference here then? Simply one of ‘ego’. Duryodhana was just unable to accept that he needed help. He was unable to surrender to a greater power. Because he thought himself to be the greatest power. Arjuna on the other hand, realized that he was in a situation that he could not solve on his own. What better way then, than to surrender?

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Confusion, instruction, disciple-tion

Shloka 2.7 in the Gita is a landmark one. Arjuna says, “I’m confused as to my duty. Please instruct me, I’m your disciple.”

There could be so many learnings from this. Here are a few:

  1. Arjuna is confused, after a life full of preparation for this very war. And confusion is alright, especially for mere mortals like us. As long as we understand that we are confused, and are ready to seek help. (More on this, tomorrow)
  2. Humility – on Krishna’s part. He is omniscient, yet never interrupts Arjuna’s lamentation. He never utters a word even, until he is asked for advice. Most people today, with far lesser achievements than Krishna, start spewing solutions without even knowing what the problem is.
  3. Asking for instructions, and to be taken as a disciple, probably means that Arjuna exhausted all of his options. He realized there was no way he was going to arrive at a solution on his own.
  4. The word used here is ‘instruct’. Not ‘advice’ or ‘help’. Advice is surely given for free these days. But this ‘instruction’? It will have to come with clear guidance – a plan, here is step 1, step 2, step 3.
  5. Arjuna is asking Krishna only for instruction. He is not asking for Krishna to magically make this all go away. Arjuna knows that each step needs to be implemented by he himself. No way out. This work cannot be outsourced to a backoffice.
  6. There is also no doubt that Arjuna has about the quality of his teacher – he knows he’s got the best. Just like a Guru. But no, Krishna is a God, isn’t he? How can a Guru be a God? Guru is God only. The difference is only in the eye of the beholder.
  7. Arjuna is clear he wants to be Krishna’s disciple. Not his childhood friend, not his cousin, not his colleague, not his commanding officer as Krishna was only his charioteer. Nope, he had full faith. And that right there was his foundation for success.

Concluded tomorrow!

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Health mantra

A new book I came across recently is called ‘Your time to Thrive’. No points for guessing that it’s a self-help book.

I haven’t read it, and I don’t plan to. Not that the book isn’t good, it’s got rave reviews. But what’s the point of reading all these self-help books if the application in real life (for me) post reading is non-existent?

In any case, most books these days have just one central element, around which 400 pages is spun. This book has something called ‘microsteps’. If anything is scaring your pants off, then don’t try to do it all at once. Do it in, you guessed it, microsteps. If anything seems too hard or daunting, don’t try to achieve it all at once. Achieve it in, you guessed it again, microsteps!

My Guru has been summing this up for decades. “5 minutes early, and 1 spoon less”. This is his golden health mantra. Wake up 5 minutes early, not 2 hours early, i.e. don’t try to wake up at 5 am if you usually wake up at 7. Eventually even the 5 am wake-up would become easy-peasy. And eat 1 spoon less, rather than starve / fad-diet your way to depression.

One microstep after another.

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Luck returns – part 2

Now that we know how to define luck, what can we do with it?

Said definition was pivotal in JimC’s research of companies that apparently “got lucky”. Even when we look at the most successful companies today, one might be forgiven if they jumped to such a conclusion. Oh Google? “Damn they got lucky when they started off. Imagine if they had to start today. They were first movers back then, and that makes them super lucky.” Or Microsoft. “They got so lucky to do some amazing deals in their early days, like with IBM – which completely changed their course.”

But is this true? You decide after reading their story. Back in the 1980s, IBM was looking for an Operating System (OS). They approached two companies – Digital Research, and Microsoft. The former already had an OS, the latter didn’t. But the outcome of the meetings? The meeting with DR was apparently handled in such a (bad) way that IBM preferred to work with Microsoft instead. Now what is the role of luck here? Did MS get luckier than DR? Not really. Both companies were presented with the exact same situations, or luck events, and it would appear DR actually had a leg up, given their ready OS. Yet, the outcomes were materially different.

The conclusion is this. And this applies in our personal lives too, once we accept it and open our eyes to it. Luck doesn’t matter. But ‘return on luck’ matters! MS’ return on luck was way more elevated than DR’s. What we do with the luck we get, the opportunities we get, that’s the only thing that matters. And this is true for bad luck and good luck both. In fact, the luck itself is perhaps hard to categorize as either good or bad. What we do with that opportunity, how we use that to our advantage (or not), is what would likely brand it as either good or bad. Interesting isn’t it?

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Luck returns

So we’ve been looking at Jim Collins’ work in the past few days. One of the things that struck me as amazing was what he found amazing too. And that is on the role of luck in the life of a corporation. And of course we’ll extrapolate that to how it could fit our own personal experiences as well.

When he started off, he struggled with the concept of luck. Some people say luck is ‘opportunity meets preparation’. But is that really correct? Does it work in the case of bad luck? A close and healthy friend unexpectedly becomes terminally ill. How is that a case of opportunity meeting preparation?

So Jim then proceeded to define luck as an ‘event’ which meets each of the following 3 conditions.

1. It is not caused by you.
2. It has a significant magnitude of impact (so that it can be distinguished from just a normal occurrence).
3. It has an element of surprise

Think of some ‘lucky’ events in your life, either good or bad, and see if these three conditions are met? A great way to break it down isn’t it?

Very interesting conclusions in tomorrow’s post – stay tuned!

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Control centre

Here’s a cool story I heard on an investment-Guru Howard Marks’ interview podcast. It was apparently narrated to him by his father.

A man loved gambling. He used to spend whatever money he’d make on horse racing.

But he wasn’t very good at it. So he ended up losing money.

A lot of it.

One day, he decided that he would win for sure. So he went and bet on a race where there was only one horse.

A cinch, right?

No, because halfway through the race, the lone horse jumped over the fence and bolted off to freedom.

Life is like that. So unpredictable, even when we think we have it all under control.

Pretty much nothing is in our control, externally.

But if we control our minds, then we do not need to control anything external.

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Astral planes – part 3

  1. What then, about the patal lok, narak lok, various layers of hell, lower worlds, upper worlds, 14 worlds etc.? Maybe they exist, we can never know for sure. But for sure these are all also states of mind. When something nice happens, we are quickly transported to cloud 9, while we would like nothing more than to bury ourselves deep underground if we encounter failure.
  2. Even heaven is said to have an end date. To get moksha, our scriptures tell us we need to come back to human form, so we will have to leave heaven and thus: end date.
  3. Heaven is the greatest place ever no? But then even Indra, the king of heaven, is not one person, but just a position. There are stories of millions like him who have come and gone. So is heaven really the place of all awesomeness that we are thinking of?
  4. Even in said perfect heaven, there will be jealousy and promotions and favourites no? Because not all citizens of heaven are Indra or his consort. There will be people who work for them, and those who work for them and so on. Is it logically possible for everyone in heaven to be always happy? Then is this really a heaven?
  5. My Guruji’s point is very clear. We have to go beyond all this heaven/hell/duality/dwandvas. Krishna is very clear too, that if dwandvas exists, then there is no moksha there.
  6. The very fact that heaven and hell might exist at opposite ends of the spectrum means that dwandvas exists.
  7. The ‘desire’ to get the answer to such questions on astral planes is also a form of desire only. The ‘attachment’ to this very body, and to think whether this astral body will enjoy/struggle in heave/hell, that is also attachment only. So Guruji says we need to break out of the shackles of all our desires and attachments, as this is the only way to break out of this cycle of samsara.

Your thoughts please?

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Astral planes – part 2

  1. How can we understand the sookshma sharira? If we are pinched, we feel pain physically. But is all pain only physical? How about emotional pain? This happens in the mind. And so perhaps doesn’t require a physical body at all, and so the astral body aka sookshma sharira is sufficient.
  2. Is there any use of an astral body? When we perform homas / havans / sacrificial fire offerings, it is believed that the prayers and offerings are carried via the fire to deities who each are astral beings. Said astral beings may also be a part of the same environment / room where the homam is being performed. This is why menstruating women for instance are advised to stay away, as the smell of blood may displease said astral beings. On the flip side though, there are certain temples where only women or rather menstruating women are allowed to visit, so there’s that too. Hollywood movies like Marvel’s Dr. Strange speak of the ability to control one’s astral body at will – and even make it a superhero’s main powers. Perhaps this is really possible? Or maybe only in heaven?
  3. We often expect astral beings and fairies and what not to only be found in heaven. And thus has ensued man’s never ending search for such a hallowed land – the ultimate paradise. But Sadhguru has a nice take. He says that living here and now, when we are doing something willingly, that is only heaven. And if instead we are forced into doing something unwillingly, then that becomes hell! As the saying goes, “A religious person is one who believes in and is afraid of going to hell and a spiritual person is one who has been to hell and back”

Concluded tomorrow…

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Astral planes – part 1

So there are often questions about mystical fantastic things that capture a spiritual aspirant’s imagination. One question is on astral elements, like does an astral body exist? Who is the experiencer of an astral body, if the physical body has been left behind? Will the astral body go to heaven or hell?

Honestly, these are very hard to answer, all the more because I’m also always learning. But here are some of my thoughts.

  1. Does an astral body exist? I don’t know from self-experience, but many scriptural books (like Yoga Vashishtha) have spoken of this in great detail. Many Himalayan masters and mystic Gurus today also talk of it. So who am I to go against them? Also, I’ve seen a few things that would be impossible to explain by simply using the word ‘coincidence’ as a euphemism. So I would certainly not want to write any of this off.
  2. How can I see my astral body? Not sure again, although I’ve read it needs a lot of meditation, dhyaana etc. to experience.
  3. How about what exactly happens to the astral body after death? Well in some texts, like in the Garuda Purana, the various kinds of torture an erring soul will have to go through, have been enumerated.
  4. But who is undergoing this so-called torture in hell, if the physical body is already dead and discarded? It’s the sookshma sharira or the subtle body.

More tomorrow…

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Garden gecko

A recent evening drive to visit my cousin sister was an interesting one. Not for anything else, but because I had an uninvited guest ride with me. And I learned a lot from him. Specifically, the importance of never giving up. Curious?

So here I was backing my car out of the parking spot at my apartment building. And soon as I hit reverse, I noticed a tiny garden lizard perched up on the windshield. Not on the inside, because that would have freaked all the passengers out, but on the outside. He was really tiny too. No chance he would survive.

Soon I forgot about him – given all the traffic, and the re-routing by google maps and all that. But boy was I surprised when I reached the destination. He was still hanging on! And I most certainly used the wiper more than once. And did i mention the potholes, the sudden brakes, the rains, and the wind? How did he manage it? I will never know.

On the way back, before getting into the car, I checked if he was still around. Nope, not in sight. So I got in, started driving for a couple of minutes, and lo, a tiny lizard head! Suffice it to say, that someone was hanging on for dear life. A total of 3 hours later, monsieur gecko was back at his own apartment building.

He had a quick tour of the city, but his resilience and ability to stick on (quite literally) – that was something else. No giving up and no excuses for this guy. If only I could be like him.

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20-mile march

Heard of the 20-mile march?

This is about two teams who were heading to the South Pole. On foot.

One team would march 20 miles every day, no matter the weather.

Snow, hail, rain, sleet, wind, whatever else there is in Antarctica – didn’t matter to them.

20 miles ahead they marched.

The other team?

They’d strategize, and some days cover 50 miles, while on others with bad weather, they’d huddle together and stay put.

The first team won. The second team did not even survive, let alone complete their journey.

Both teams had the same equipment, and the same skillsets.

The learning for me? Consistency rewards like nothing else. No point waiting for the perfect sunny day. Every day is an opportunity. Remember GUDUSUNGU? 🙂

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5 to 7

If something is really hard to do 5 days a week, then it would obviously be really really hard doing it 7 days a week right?

Maybe not.

For instance, did you know that it’s easier to workout 7 days a week, compared to working out 5 days a week?

No way, that doesn’t even make sense right? Or does it?

Think about it. When we work out 5 days a week only, we spend a considerable amount of time wondering which two days should be no-exercise days. Suddenly laziness creeps in. Or maybe we’d want to keep Sat-Sun as no-workout days? Yes possible, except that dragging ourselves to exercise on Mondays becomes that much harder.

Instead of giving ourselves the illusion of choice, what if we just worked out all 7 days, maybe taking it easy on some while really going the whole hog on others? We do brush our teeth and take bath everyday, so why not exercise?

This is really not just about exercise, but could be relevant for developing any good habit at all. Want to read more? We can read 10 minutes a day – everyday – compared to reading 1 hour, only on weekends. Want to eat cleaner? Eat cleaner (not necessarily 100% clean) every day, rather than struggling a few days, only to give all the gains back on one cheat day/week. What do you think?

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5 levels up

The ‘level 5 leader’ is an awesome outcome of Jim Collins’ research. He covers this in great detail in his book Good to Great as well. What is this level 5, and how did he get there? Rather surprisingly, Jim wasn’t even looking for leadership to be one of the defining qualities of an amazing company. It makes sense right? Leaders exist everywhere – bad companies, good companies and great companies. Yet why do only some succeed and not others? Thinking thus, he proceeded to almost remove the ‘leadership’ component of his research.

Until he discovered that not all leaders are created equal. And voila, 5 levels of leadership! This is somewhat like Maslow pyramid of needs, except this is for leaders. Level 1 is about individual skills. Level 2 is team player skills. Level 3 is management skills. Level 4 is leadership skills, which is not just figuring out what to do, but also motivating your team to want to achieve it themselves.

So what was level 5, that led to the companies where these leaders worked outperform to such an extent? It was a combination of two things: humility and willpower. The indomitable human spirit, will, where it’s there, there’s a way – is well known. But humility? It’s not just the self-effacing type. Rather, it is a specific type of humility, defined as the ability to recognize the flaws and faults that you have that you have to grow past with honesty.

And where would one build such humility from? Only from failure. We are all afraid of failure. But it is actually failure which builds success. Imagine combining this humility, with the will to not just do something selfishly (not a leader), but to work for a greater purpose. Incredible.

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I wish you bad luck

There are many commencement speeches available on YouTube, often delivered by of some of the greatest politicians, businessmen, sportsmen or actors at the various Ivy Leagues. Of course these tend to be extremely motivational, and the combination of wit and pragmatism can help students (and lurkers like me on YouTube) gain credible insight into the real-world that awaits them.

Most of the speeches repeat positive message: work hard, earn money, be humble, be this, be that, do this, do that and lots of best wishes to you and all that.

But US Supreme Court Justice John Roberts gave an unconventional speech a few years ago. He actually said, “I wish you bad luck.” Surely quite unexpected? Here’s a para I found most interesting, pasted below for your reading delight.

"From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so that you don’t take friends for granted. I wish you bad luck, again, from time to time so that you will be conscious of the role of chance in life and understand that your success is not completely deserved and that the failure of others is not completely deserved either. And when you lose, as you will from time to time, I hope every now and then, your opponent will gloat over your failure. It is a way for you to understand the importance of sportsmanship. I hope you’ll be ignored so you know the importance of listening to others, and I hope you will have just enough pain to learn compassion. Whether I wish these things or not, they’re going to happen. And whether you benefit from them or not will depend upon your ability to see the message in your misfortunes.”

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Achieving excellence

We saw yesterday the outlines of excellence as suggested by author Jim Collins. We also thought about how it would look if applied to ourselves personally. But how do we achieve this beatific end state? We know the outputs, but what should the inputs be? Well, why not take a leaf out of the same author’s books?

Key here is the concept of ‘time tellers’ versus ‘clock builders’. Who is a time teller? In today’s day and age of a million startups, a time teller could be a person with an amazing idea. Just like he can tell the time perfectly, he can call out the most outlandish but supremely successful idea of the time, ahead of anyone else. And the clock builder? I think this one is obvious. Important to think about, a clock once built, needs no time teller.

Jim’s research suggests a negative correlation between starting a company with a great and successful idea, and becoming an enduring, great company. Wow isn’t that amazing? And here’s the follow-up. “It actually turns out that many of the greatest companies started with failures, setbacks, things that were catastrophes early on. And it was the very fact that they had no success at the start that played a big role in them building the muscle strength to say, you can think of it as I’m going to have a successful innovation versus I’m going to build the muscle to innovate, right, which would be more durable.

So it boils down really to stellar execution. Discipline, patience and perseverance. Probably answers that sound boring. But while ‘culture may eat strategy for breakfast’, perhaps consistency can eat talent for lunch!

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Measuring excellence

Jim Collins is an author who needs no introduction. In one of his defining studies, he has distilled down the excellence factors for any company, to 3 core elements. These are:

  1. Superior results (the company can be amazing on paper, but it needs to win in the real world)
  2. Distinctive impact (if the company disappeared, would it matter?)
  3. Lasting endurance (not just a one-hit wonder)

While these are amazing insights for companies, I also couldn’t help but realize these are amazing ideals for anyone striving for excellence to try living up to.

  1. Superior results – irrespective of the profession, can our clients feel they always get the best only with us?
  2. Distinctive impact – of course no one is indispensable and all that; but even so, if we disappeared from the earth tomorrow, how many people would miss us? Would we have left behind a legacy? Not for the money we provide others, but the compassion, listening ear, love and warmth?
  3. Lasting endurance – it’s easy to be good to people once or twice, but to do that lifelong? That would be most beneficial, not just to those being helped, but to the doer. A non-stop selfless attitude is no different from the pinnacle of spirituality.
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Paralimping

Of the various disabilities that exist, a physical one is very hard to live with. Not that mental disabilities aren’t hard – they certainly are. But given weaker cognition as it is, it may have a lesser impact on one’s own self worth. But a physical disability coupled with perfect mental machinery? Surmounting those odds requires gargantuan effort. The various incidences of kids poking fun at undeveloped limbs, or the inability to run around like most kids would – not easy. Even those that are physically (fully) well endowed struggle with their self-images and self-worth. How many times have we not wished to be slightly thinner, more muscular, taller, fairer? Even A-list celebrities, yes the same ones whose chiselled bodies adorn cover pages of leading fashion magazines, too succumb to such mental competitiveness.

So awesome it is then, to read the inspiring stories behind various Paralympic athletes from India and other countries who won golds, silvers and bronzes. Here are some outstandingly fine men and women, who were either born with physical disabilities, or picked them up along the way – through some unnerving quirks of fate. But the power of their resolve, hard work and persistence in the face of seemingly insurmountable physical loss – teaches lessons to those of us who have everything, yet live in our own made-up worlds of mental distress. Money never enough, job not good enough, things not going according to plan, small molehills repeatedly made out to be mountains, giving up on smiling altogether, taking tensions for the smallest things – and on and on. All this begs the question – who really is the one with the disability?

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In the well

Many conversations today go like this.

“Hey man. All well?”
“Yes, all well. And you, all well?”
“Yes, yes, all well here too.”

Could there be a more banal way to communicate? I’m probably the guilty-est of such conversations. Even just calling these ‘conversations’ itself is doing the word a disservice. 🙂

As anyone who has mastered the art of forging deep connections will tell you, the trick lies entirely in asking the right questions, and then sitting back and listening. That’s what makes an outstanding conversationalist. The ability to ask and listen, and not the ability to speak. Counterintuitive, isn’t it?

That is indeed the true power of questions. As Dale Carnegie famously said, “Don’t try to be interesting, try to be interested instead.”

Can we perhaps substitute “All well?” with: “How are you?”, “Where are you from?” (nice and open ended!), “What are you working on these days” (everyone is working on something), “What’s changing in your life?”, or “What are you learning these days?”. So many options!

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Hair pulling

A very chubby baby I came across recently had the cutest baby laugh. Gurgling and chirping, it was just a joy to be around. Except when it would pull its own hair. Babies, as we know, do funny things sometimes. They don’t know the exact cause of pain, and because they tend to be fairly (very) uncoordinated, pulling their own hair with one hand satisfies the requirement of the hand to grab onto something. But it also simultaneously causes immense pain.

Now what to do? The only way is for the baby to leave its own hair alone. Even it’s parents can’t do anything at that point, because the grip of the baby is too tight. But it’s a matter of time, and the baby loosens the grip on its own.

Such is also our plight often in life. By keeping gargantuan expectations, we often invite misfortune into our lives. This self-inflicted pain is no different from the baby pulling its hair. And these expectations are not just milestones in professional setups, “achieve sales of x%”, or “drive costs down by y%”, but also expectations related to when happiness should be allowed to flow. It’s almost like we have a stop button inside us. “No, today I have a lot of work, and hence I will not smile even once.” Surely I’m guilty of that many times!

Taking myself too seriously can only end badly. It’s better to be sincere, than serious. As Swami Paramarthananda says, the disciple needs to first identify that a problem exists (with themselves). The Guru thereafter, needs to not only know the remedy, but also be free of the problem!

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Aligned

A while ago, I had to get something designed. Like a presentation, but formatted beautifully and designed aesthetically. Such a task would seem really simple. But the samples sent by the designers? Boy were those off!

Basic things like alignment, would be improper. What to do? It’s easy to explain something mathematically – because it is precise. “Please ensure the border thickness is 0.5 cm.” That’s clear because there is no scope for misunderstanding. That’s why adjectives just don’t cut it.

But alignment is critical, no matter how hard to explain. There are so many people, just living, breathing, eating, walking, working – exactly like everyone else. Seen from afar, there would be no difference whatsoever.

But go closer. And alignment becomes not just a differentiator, but also downright critical.

The wise one, is aligned to a larger purpose. The vice ones on the other hand, are simply jettisoned from one triviality to another.

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Animalistic

One of the questions that often arises in the minds of spiritual seekers, is whether animals accumulate karma.

A realized soul would say, “Does this even matter? All of these silly worldly questions – how does the answer to this question help one in their spiritual quest for liberation?” And such a soul would be bang on!

However, the question has come indeed, and one answer could be thus, which I came across in Acharya Prashant’s new book titled Karma.

No, animals do not accumulate karma. Because to accumulate karma, one would need to make a choice. A choice of whether or not to do something. Humans have choices – so we can either do a good thing and earn good karma, or the reverse. But animals? Acharya Prashant argues that animals have no choice. A lion kills deer to eat, driven by its natural instincts aka hunger. How far do you think a vegetarian lion would get in life? 🙂

But humans do have a choice isn’t it? To eat vegetarian or not. To exercise or to live unhealthy. To live a noble life or one of plunder. So many choices, so many possibilities, and so much karma.

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Work ethic

Here’s one of my all-time favourite Sanskrit shlokas.

Kaayena Vaacaa Manase[a-I]ndriyairvaa
Buddhy[i]-Aatmanaa Vaa Prakrteh Svabhaavaat |
Karomi Yad-Yat-Sakalam Parasmai
Naaraayannayeti Samarpayaami

It’s not only the chanting of the shloka that is awesome, but when chanted with full awareness of its meaning, the chant becomes… enchanting!

Kaaya is body, vaacha is speech, manas is mind, indriyas is sense organs, buddhi is intellect and aatma is soul. All Sanskrit words which are simple enough to ‘feel’ while chanting. The shloka says that no matter what work we do with each of these body parts, we do it only (sakalam) for others (parasmai). And we completely surrender every such iota of work at the feet of the Lord Narayana.

How brilliant is this? It is karma yoga in a simple shloka form. If I’m feeling tired or bored of work, I just need to remember the millions of unfortunate people who are out of jobs, stuggling to make ends meet. And then I remember this shloka, and with full fervor can work not for my own selfish needs, but only for the welfare of others. And that too, we can place the outcome, at the feet of the Lord. Truly brilliant!

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Calculus

Okay, I admit, I suck at math. I used to hate it in school, and I still don’t find it fun. And calculus? Oh man, I never understood it. It just wasn’t intuitive you know?

There was a point though, when I learned that everything in the world around us, is actually mathematical, to an amazing degree. Like fractal patterns in snowflakes and plant designs and what not. Wow. I also remember how a dog that runs to catch a frisbee in the beach, intuitively does calculus. Same for the archer fish that shoots its prey from underwater, implicitly calculating refraction angles. Pretty amazing instincts.

As one of the senior satsangis says, all of the learning around us is additive. If we study math or history or geography or medicine, we actually become more knowledgeable about those subjects, and hence those ‘add’ to us.

However, a scriptural book like the Gita? It was just a conversation between a charioteer and a warrior. Not much to add to oneself really. Why? Because the Gita is not really a book of knowledge. One could read the meanings of the 700 shlokas maybe in a few hours and come out none the wiser. That is because, the Gita is a book of action. Calculus applies here. The Gita is not additive, it is integrative. Like a spoon of sugar dissolving in the coffee.

The same Gita when read over and over again, and its lessons put into action, can result in the reader being transforming into a better and better person each time.

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Swa

Swa. That’s the name of an artisanal juice syrup brand I got to taste recently. It was tasty, and its name comes from the fact that one has to make it ‘on their own’. Put in the effort of adding water to the Swa syrup and mixing it.

And such is the case with Dharma as well. The ultimate dharma, the ultimate goal of a human being is to attain moksha or liberation. However, the path to getting there is what is called as swadharma, because it is of one’s own doing.

A super example is from Acharya Prashant’s book called Karma. He likens dharma to being at the (x,y,z,) coordinates of (0,0,0). This is the starting point. It’s where we all came from originally, and where we need to go to eventually (in this lifetime or next).

Depending on where we are currently, our coordinates could be (10,12,15), or (3,4,5) or even (-20,-8,19). And thus the starting point is what will determine the work we would need to do to get to (0,0,0). This difference in starting point is what requires swadharma. Everyone would have to do their own bit. The work is not easy. Time for a drink.

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Heavenly hell

Since time immemorial, man has wanted to live an enjoyable afterlife. Avoid hell at any cost, and make sure to get into heaven.

Why heaven? Because everything there is awesome – a cornucopia of food, women, money, opulence and grandeur. Who wouldn’t want to go to such a place no?

The question to ask is, even if we had all this, would we still be happy? Is happiness guaranteed? Surely some celestial beings in heaven would be having more comforts than others. And the comparison game would begin playing on their minds. Or if everything was always available equally and status quo for everyone, then surely life would become very boring, and that would lead to its own problems.

So a promised heaven in the afterlife really is not an answer at all.

Then what about in this life? I really like how Sadhguru puts it. “If you are doing something unwillingly, that is your Hell. If you are doing something willingly, that is your Heaven.”

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Randomly random

Karma. That is what we are constantly accruing. But it is also the name of a newly released book by Acharya Prashant. He’s an IIT-IIM-grad-turned-spiritual-Guru and so I was quite keen to read what he has to say on this topic.

There are many interesting things he covers. One for today’s post, is on randomness. He says that the happenings in the material world around us are truly random. That it is impossible to predict the future with any certainty.

There are so many people and creatures in the world and each has its own free will. When all of these interact, in real time, dynamically, how is it possible to ‘setup’ a specific karmic event for any single individual that is supposed to experience the fruits of their past actions?

The thought is sobering, and indeed seems to make sense from the perspective of our limited and miniscule intellect. But for the Creator of everything around us, maybe it is not such a big deal? The author agrees that karmic law exists. However, this is applicable at the level of an individual, by way of his/her reaction to an external stimulus, i.e. two people could react very differently to the same news, for instance.

So is this what the birth chart of a native predicts in vedic astrology? That s/he will be successful during this period, or will get married during this period, and so is perhaps referring to internal emotions likely to be felt by the native? The word ‘likely’ is important, because free will can be exercised in a counterfactual manner.

There are also many great saints who have tweaked the karma of their disciples. Some say that mass fatalities like plane crashes and terrorism are part of ‘community karma’, perhaps engineered to perfection by Nature Herself. How does that fit in here, in a world ruled by free will and chaos? I guess there will always be some things we just cannot understand…

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Distractions galore

Our lives seem to be full of distractions. The mobile phone, the internet, YouTube… Oh there are so many culpable offenders in my fight against distraction. So many things to do, but just no ability to focus on the various tasks at hand.

But maybe distractions are par for the course simply because the work that is done is chosen poorly. The work is chosen only because the result seems favorable. Some money, some benefits, some perks, some power, some something or the other.

Spirituality keeps on asking us to live in the moment. That only means we’ve to love the work, i.e. the process of working, and not the outcome of the work alone. If instead, we are focused on monthly payday alone, of course distractions will plague us. Even the feeblest of winds can get us to alter course then.

If we look at it this way, then maybe distractions are good, even great. If I’m going to work in an organization for the rest of my life/career but still get distracted easily, maybe that work is not something I truly like? What’s the point in doing something if it’s truly not meaningful enough? Note that meaning is only for the doer – what’s meaningful to me might be nonsensical to another.

The alternative of brainstorming, networking and hustling to get to do what you feel is truly meaningful, is not an easy path. And so for most, it is easy to continue to do what they have been, while cribbing about distractions, while letting the void-for-meaning deep within them, grow stronger and stronger.

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One at a time

Sometimes there’s just too much to focus on. Like the rabbits that Jack Ma talked about once. He said that if you’ve got a room full of rabbits and you need to catch one, most people start with the rabbit closest to them. If that runs away, then they switch to the next nearest one. Momentarily another rabbit comes into view, and then they run after that one. And then another one. At the end, they are left with no rabbit.

The better way, is to just focus on one rabbit all along.

This can be extended to our daily ‘things to do’ checklist as well. We could focus on one newspaper, one podcast, one TV show, one book, one scripture, one chapter, one YouTube channel etc. Even within these, say one specific online course that we like, the focus can be on doing only the 10 minutes it requires per day. That would make it easy to execute as well as track.

If this is implemented with discipline, it can work wonders in the medium to long term. But if not, then at the end of the month, on one fine weekend, we are suddenly saddled with hours of work to catch up on, which then leads to anxiety and feelings of incompetence. 10 minutes a day. That’s all it takes. It’s a fine line!

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I swear

Here’s a cute scene on TV I saw recently.

A table had a small glass jar with a few coins in it. A label ‘Swear Jar’ is pasted across it. A mother is seen berating her 5 year old daughter’s use of swear words. Every time she says a bad word, the kid needs to put a dollar from her pocket money into the ‘swear jar’.

Like all kids, this one too tries to find loopholes, asking her teacher to “go to shell” and “what the muck” among other such cleverly hidden expletives.

The mother is initially irritated by this behaviour. But it dawns on her that the “swear jar” is not the right approach. If one were to create a rule such that the target person (the 5 yo) can’t even understand (because she is too young to), then of course said target would try to break the rule!

The mother then changes tactics and says something beautiful. “Baby, no more swear-jar okay? That is pointless. But I want you to understand why bad words are not okay. And that’s because bad words make other people feel bad. Now you are such a good girl – surely you don’t want other people feeling bad because of what you say do you?”

“No mommy.”

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TT extraordinaire

This past weekend, a few of us from the extended family had a quick and wonderful outing. One of the cool things about technology is that it makes it easy to find independent bungalows for rent, which are financially pretty reasonable, because we can apportion the larger cost across more people.

The other advantage of having an independent house? An awesome games room! So we played a lot of table tennis, and of course it was fun blaming the table, the racket, the ball, the net and everything else!

The most important thing for table tennis though, is one’s arms / hands. That’s what we’ve to really be thankful for. No hands, no table tennis, right?

Nope! Meet Ibrahim Ahmadtou, who lost both his arms when he was just 10 years old in a train accident. He didn’t step out of his house for an entire year as he couldn’t bear the ignominy of his disability. But today at the age of 48, he is no less a world champion, representing Egypt in the Paralympics.

How can he play table tennis without hands? He uses his mouth of course! And he tosses the ball up with his feet. Do have a look at some YouTube videos. The technique is simply extraordinary, but what is even more so, is his iron will power.

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On priority

How does one who is completely devoted to and lost in the Lord behave? Maybe there’s more than one way – surely. But here’s what’s on the cover page of the Mukunda-mala-stotra book originally composed by King Kulasekhara and then of course expounded upon by various greats. This specific excerpt is from Srila Prabhupada’s commentaries:

When King Kulasekhara saw the breath-taking beauty of Lord Krishna in ecstatic trance, he lost all the desire to rule his vast kingdom. Later he wrote, "My mind cannot turn from Sri Krishna's lotus feet even for a moment. So let my dear ones and other relatives criticize me, my superiors accept me or reject me as they like, the common people spread evil gossip about me, and my family's reputation be sullied. For a madman like me, it is honour enough to feel this flood of love for Godhead, which brings such sweet emotions of attraction for my Lord"

The very things that we each are craving for – societal approval, name, fame, wealth, status – are being given up in an instant by a great King, simply because he tasted the true nectar of being one with the Lord. We are no kings, so it is all the more important that we have our priorities straight. But is that the case?

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Meditative living

Benefits of meditation for 15-20 minutes a day:

  1. More energy during the day
  2. Better mental health
  3. Better physical health
  4. Improved creativity
  5. Anger control
  6. and many others

Imagine life without any meditation – would we get these benefits?

Seen differently, once the meditation is over, we are back again into the same big bad world, and chasing after the same big bad things. Meditation calms us down, and then the world rakes us up all over again. That is the power of maya. It is a cycle. Meditation also doesn’t help beyond a point does it?

Only way is to break the cycle. To mentally give up attachments and desires, irrespective of how one lives physically. That is meditating 100% of the time, i.e. meditative living.

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Creator Groomer

Most of us are working our day jobs, doing mundane stuff, often not liking it much.

And many companies too do not expect their employees to grow beyond a point either.

Seniors want to ensure their own seats are secure, and often happy slave-driving their juniors – and to make sure they do not leave the firm for whatever reason. Everyone is just thinking about themselves all the time.

But I came across a startup recently. The founder wrote an open letter, which to me was quite a lovely way to think about work.

His point, was that there are so many problems to be solved in the world. And folks working with him were encouraged to take risks, to disrupt, to be fearless, and to build and scale products with impatient optimism.

He also said, that if any of his employees would leave to found another startup, then he would go out of his way to invest in that new business.

Not just that, he would also enable the new startup to access his own set of VC/PE investors. How awesome is that?!

Not just giving jobs, but funding a potential job creator. Not just being a leader, but being a leader groomer! The magic truly happens when one thinks selflessly about others.

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Tail wagger

People nowadays don’t want to workout without a smart watch. It has to have a calorie counter – so that the exact calories expended are tracked accurately. People also like to have their heart rates reported. SPO2 monitored as well. And GPS enabled of course – how else would the running / walking path be charted?

Even weighing scales send electric impulses at two different frequencies which then measure not just a person’s weight but also report water levels, subcutaneous fat, visceral fat, protein levels, body fat percentage, skeletal muscle etc etc. I learned that this is called bio-impedance.

Technology is certainly super awesome for these things.

But all these gadgets, all this technology… these are merely enablers. They will still not do the workout for us. We still need to wake up, get up and move our bodies. Ultimately, it is our bodies that are the greatest technology ever.

But it has become a classic case of tail wagging the dog. If we exercise, we will be fit, irrespective of whether we wear smart watches or not. Exercise is critical, while the calorie counter is incidental. Technology needs us, not the other way around. We must keep reminding ourselves.

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What’s up doc

During a recent visit to a hospital, I happened to look at the doctor roster.

Just a quick glance, nothing out of the ordinary here.

Many doctor names, many many more credentials, and then their practice timings.

9 am to 4 pm, Monday to Friday. 9 am to 12.30 pm on Saturdays.

Wow they work Saturdays too. And here I am cribbing about my never ending 5 day week. I need to change my perspective on life, and learn from these literal life-savers and life-givers.

And then a few names below, one doctor had a unique ending time for his practice. It read as follows:

“From 9 am, till the last patient is seen.”

Now isn’t that just an exceptional work ethic?

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The secret to success at work

We often struggle with delusions of grandeur. “How will it feel when I become CEO?”, “How will it feel when I buy my own BMW sports coupe?”, “How will it feel when I hit a 100 million in net worth?”, and so on. These aren’t delusions because they will not happen. Rather they are so, simply because they haven’t happened yet.

A very interesting book written by Anshul Chaturvedi called Vivekananda Handbook for Everyday Living is one I just finished reading. And here are 3 very relevant quotes from the great Swami himself. Perfectly applicable to such scenarios, where we are constantly in doubt: ‘what is my duty?’, ‘will I be successful in my current avatar?’, ‘am I good enough?’, or ‘will I ever make it?’. Grandeur … it just always seems out of reach.

  1. By doing well the duty which is nearest to us, the duty which is in our hands now, we make ourselves stronger. We find ourselves in the position for which we are fit, and if one has some capacity above another, the world will find it out too.
  2. He who grumbles at the little thing that has fallen to his lot to do, will grumble at everything. Always grumbling, he will lead a miserable life. But that man who does his duty as he goes, putting his shoulder to the wheel, higher and higher duties will fall to his share.
  3. When you are doing any work, do not think of anything beyond. Do it as worship, as the highest worship, and devote your whole life to it for the time being.

Simple, profound, and life changing!

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Reasonable

Here’s an interesting interview experience I came across recently. It was one of the early rejects of a person who is very successful today. Not everyone starts off with a golden spoon right?

His interview was with one of the best airlines in the world. He wanted to travel the world, and given he was young, what better way than to get the job of an air steward.

After a few initial group activity rounds that this gentleman breezed through, there was a personal interview round with just one question.

“What would you choose – food, or… service?”

Now this seems like the most obvious question and the most obvious answer for what is a business that thrives on providing the best service to all its fliers. Oops did I just drop a hint?

But this young man all of 18 years blurted out “food”, and was immediately shown the door. While it might seem like an idiotic answer, he came from a very poor background, with uneducated parents who struggled every single day to put food on the table. He had never even eaten at a restaurant till then. Of course “food” would be the first thing on his mind.

This is not about whether he should have been selected or not. Even this gentleman has no grudges. However for our own mental peace, it would help to cut people some slack for their weird ways. They may say or do crazy things, but there could be a good reason for it.

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Role reversal

Arjuna in the Mahabharata underwent a role reversal. He spent years and years training and performing as one of the greatest archers / warriors that ever lived. But on the day of the Kurukshetra battle, he underwent an unexpected role change.

He saw no foes or enemies, only brothers and uncles and teacher.

He was suddenly not a warrior on that battlefield, but only a family man. Can a doctor perform a high risk surgery successfully on his own child? Very difficult. Why? Because he has entered he operating theatre less as a doctor and more as a father. Can we clinch a business deal if we are constantly thinking about being with family or vacationing?

The pangs of attachment begin to play on the mind, leading to what Arjuna faced as well – delusion.

What is the solution? Before solution, must come acknowledgement of the problem. One the problem is located, the resolver is the Guru. But the resolution happens, only if the ego is surrendered to him.

As Swami Paramarthananda says, the disciple needs to first identify that a problem exists. And then the Guru needs to not only know the remedy, but also be free of the problem!

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Live in the moment (really?)

Here’s something we hear often. And it is linked to spirituality too. “Live in the present”, “Live in this moment alone”, “Don’t live in the past or in the future”, “the present is a gift” and so on and so forth. There are many variations of these. And they all sound amazing. Liberating too. Marry these words with some spectacular visuals on Instagram or Facebook and that is enough to make even a corpse feel all charged up and alive.

Feeling charged up and alive is indeed a good thing. But ‘living in the present’ needs to be understood well. It is ultimately dependent on the internal qualities or gunas of a person.

If people are sattvik by nature, they are likely to work for others and for a greater cause. Therefore their focus while working – in the true sense – will not be focused on the results of their actions.

For tamasik people however, this is not so obvious. They too may appear to not care about the result. But this apparent lack of caring comes from a deep rooted centre of laziness, inertia and selfishness which precludes them from calling a spade a spade. Their very success comes from denying the truth, and from seeking to avoid the consequences of their actions.

In that sense, the rajasik folks may be better off – as they at least know there is a gap which they need to bridge.

And thus, it is important to understand well what it takes to live in the moment. If we are thinking only about ourselves, jumping from one desire to the next, we may already be many moments ahead, and certainly not in the present.

If one has transcended the ego however, and is working solely for the benefit of the greater good, then living in the moment will come automatically. It is a state of ‘flow’. Nothing needs to be done to achieve it.

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Working for what?

A scene from the hit movie Munnabhai MBBS shows a very disgruntled hospital janitor. No matter what the situation, he is always grumpy.

Why? Well of course, he makes very little money. But according to him, it’s not the money alone. It’s also the fact that so many people just keep coming in and leaving their dirty footprints and shoeprints all over the floors that he would have just then finished cleaning. This includes all the well-respected doctors and nurses, not just many pay grades above him, but also much higher on the societal respectability scale. No wonder he is unhappy.

That is until the protagonist comes along. He tell the janitor that sweeping floors is one of the most important duties to society, and more so to a hospital. He goes on to explain, that doctors and nurses can only attempt to cure sickness after a person has already fallen ill. But the janitor? He is in a unique position. He is able to prevent ailments by keeping his hallways and rooms spic and span. The janitor now has an elevated responsibility and higher purpose to live up to!

We too may feel we are doing janitorial duties sometimes. And even sitting in a plush corporate office can give us this feeling. It can also happen at any level of seniority. That is why, even successful CEOs and Heads of Businesses quit their jobs in order to find their calling. Quitting to find another job is certainly an option. But while we’re at the current job, we can keep the janitor’s lessons in mind, and look for the higher purpose.

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Tough life

When life gets tough, we often just want to kick it all off and take a break. But few have this luxury. Here are some things we can do irrespective of whether life has gotten tough or not. It’s hard to practise, but this is what great and successful people have advised and continue to advise.

  1. Smile. That’s it. Easy peasy. But can we smile when we know the world around us seems to be falling apart? And “falling apart” is really taking things to the extreme. Often times it is just one of our life-long dreams hitting a minor speedbump. Many times even smaller and more inconsequential, but which we love to focus on and exaggerate.
  2. Don’t complain. As they say, “Don’t tell people about your problems, because 80% of the people don’t care and the rest 20% are happy you have them!”
  3. Learn. All of life is about growing and becoming better. One day at a time. If we can’t learn from our or other people’s experiences aka failures, then those would only be wasted opportunities.
  4. Give back. Living life for ourselves alone is a huge huge huge burden. But living for improving the life of others, for the country, for the world? While the tasks may be harder, the selfless nature of the assignment will make the burden feel weightless.
  5. ABCs. Attitude, Behaviour, Character – this is what differentiates the best from the also-rans.

Finally, as Guruji always says, modern education and material comparisons can only help us in the material world. But the material world is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Our ultimate goal as human beings should be moksha, i.e. realizing our true nature is not of the body but of the Soul.

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Jumping high

In the Tokyo Olympics high-jump event, the competition was down to two finalists. Both of them jumped exactly the same height of 2.37 metres. And so it was a tie.

The officials had each of them jump again – three more times in fact. But neither Olympian was able to better the 2.37 number.

In the last and final attempt, one of the two contestants had to withdraw because of a leg injury. The other bloke now had a clear path to gold.

But in what would go down in history books as an outstanding example of parasparam bhavayantah (Gita chapter 3, verse 11, nourish one another), the healthy contestant before his final attempt, first checked if he could … wait for it … share the gold with his opponent!

The officials quickly checked and confirmed that it would be indeed be possible. He decided to forgo his final attempt, and in the video, both players are ecstatically seen hugging each other. How amazing is that? We are brought up with the notion that if we win, someone else needs to lose. But life is not a zero-sum-game. If everyone wins, that is the highest jump of them all.

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Baby time

A lot of babies nowadays are raised not by their parents, but by their nannies.

Whether it’s feeding the baby, cleaning the baby, changing diapers, clothing the baby, carrying the baby, burping the baby, talking with the baby – you name it, and it’s done by the nannies.

The rationale is of course sound – couples in nuclear families have to manage the house and their office work. How can they possibly get time to fit a baby in as well?

Nannies get baby duties, while the parents continue to enjoy their favorite pastimes, whether sports, TV shows, movie outings, friend outings, eat outs, music concerts and a variety of other events. “We are still young. If not now, then when?”

Spending time with the baby is most critical during its first few years. If time is an issue, then why have a baby in the first place? As a wise elder in my family remarked, raising children is all about one and only one thing – Sacrifice. The parents would need to sacrifice their lives for the future of their kids. And when done well, when the sacrifice is out of love rather than lack of alternative, it earns the highest blessing.

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Pipe dream

Here are some wonderful takeaways from a recent youth satsang session I had the good fortune and pleasure of attending. The topic of discussion was Dale Carnegie’s excellent book How to Win Friends & Influence People:

  1. You can disagree in specific instances, but no need to become a disagreeable person.
  2. If your child is not eating, or making a fuss, don’t cajole him. Instead make him want to come to the table. Give him a “special seat”.
  3. Begin with the other person in mind. Real-life example that was shared: If the tenants want the landlord to take care of a major plumbing problem, don’t just begin by complaining to the landlord. The way that worked was to have the landlord and his wife over for a nice homecooked meal, a lot of genuine compliments about the house included, and a mention of the plumbing issue tossed in at the end. Needless to say, the problem was fixed – quickly and for free.
  4. It is possible to change the other person’s behaviour, by changing one’s own behaviour towards them first.
  5. Integrated thinking – build the patience to hold and analyse two conflicting ideas in your head at the same time. If this can be done, the solution is often a 3rd way, which is even better than the first two ideas.

    Quite good no?

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Working remotely

There’s a lot of people who want to work remotely these days. Work from the mountains. Work from the snow. Work from the riverside. Work from the beaches. Work from anywhere but home. All you need is a strong internet connection and some good homecooked food.

I know many people who’ve made this journey as well. From a few weeks to a few months, they’ve tried different combinations. And technology has certainly made things easier. No denying that. However, the feedback I’ve got (and it’s expected of course!) is that the work doesn’t magically become lighter. The sweet aroma of the flowers from the mountain top does little to change the deadline of an irate client.

Said differently, all that matters is what’s in our minds. If we train it to seek a rumbling waterfall or gurgling creek in order to do our work well, then that’s what it will keep demanding, regardless of whether it actually works well in that landscape.

Also, we hardly know what is good for us – but we always think we do. A recent tragedy is a case in point. So many wanted to work remotely from this idyllic place. But said place saw unexpected rains and subsequent landslides that resulted in quite a bit of destruction and loss of lives. Sometimes, if life doesn’t go the way we dream it too, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Does that mean we should never wish for anything? Not at all, but if it doesn’t go our way, then best to just take it in our stride.

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Advanced beginner

As a kid, going to amusement parks meant having to size oneself up against a ‘bar’. If I was shorter than the bar, then sorry, that ride wasn’t for me, no matter how adventurous it looked.

We always want to be permitted to do what we want. To be what we want to be. No shackles, no limitations.

I came across a spiritual book recently, which needed some permissions to be read. To read a book? Really?

Here’s what the book cover said. “Only for advanced seekers or absolute beginners.”

What an amazing requirement. I don’t know what was in the book, but it certainly makes me want to read it (even though I don’t fulfil the requirements). I’m certainly not an advanced spiritual seeker. And unfortunately, I’m not an absolute beginner either. I’ve read some spiritual books and listened to some YouTube talks, and that means my ego has only risen, rather than crumbled, as would be ideal.

Krishna makes it explicitly clear in the Gita. He needs no status, wealth, name, education or credentials for granting a spiritual revolution unto Him. All he needs is a clean heart dedicated only to Him.

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What do we know?

Here are some common and seemingly innocuous questions one may be asking. All good until we think of possible but unexpected answers.

  1. On someone’s physical features. [Maybe they have thyroid / other issues and have been on medication, what do we know?]
  2. On someone’s employment status. [Maybe they have enough money saved / aren’t getting a job despite trying, what do we know?]
  3. On someone’s house and car. [Maybe they do not wish to show off / maybe they wish to show off / in any case a US$ 1 million house or car only indicate that the person had 1 million, which they don’t now; what do we know?]
  4. On someone’s kids. [Maybe the kids are autistic, maybe they have special needs, what do we know?]
  5. On someone’s social media posts. [Those posts couldn’t be further from the truth, so best to ignore, and what do we know?]
  6. On someone’s marital status. [Maybe they are unable to find the right person, or are headed for a divorce, what do we know?]
  7. On someone’s education and career choices. [Maybe they came from a poor background, needed to start earning quickly, what do we know?]
  8. On someone’s behaviour and biases. [Maybe they had a troubled upbringing, what do we know?]

Everyone is constantly fighting their own battles. Compassion and empathy rules the world – both material and spiritual.

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Chocolate Olympics

’tis the season of the Olympics, and the medal tallies for each country are scrutinized keenly. In some sports, there are well known champions, while in others, new ones are created everyday.

One such champion is 24-year old American swimmer Katie Ledecky. She’s considered one of the best swimmers of all time, with 7 Olympic gold medals and 15 world championship gold medals.

Quite the feat. When I watch videos of her races, they are simply unbelievable because of the gap between her and number two. The focus and determination needed to not just swim 8 minutes at super speed with the whole world watching, but to also practice many many hours more on a daily basis, the capabilities of the human body are just mind boggling.

One practise video shows her swimming a lap in an Olympic pool while balancing a brimful glass of chocolate milk on her head with nary a spill. If there was a better demonstration of focus, stability and poise, I haven’t seen one. There’s another one where technology shows the World Record time as a line drawn across the pool as Katie swims, and the previous WR line is actually chasing her from behind!

Yet, as life shows us over and over, no matter the level of success, a new era will dawn where the incumbent is vanquished by an emergent victor. For Katie Ledecky, there is another Katie, a 15-year old Katie Grimes, who is already nipping at her heels. And hence for everyone in life, there is zero room for ego – which incidentally is the crux of all spirituality as well.

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Behavioural intentions

Here’s a lovely quote by Stephen Covey.

We judge others by their behaviour, but ourselves by our intentions.

This is brilliant because it is not just what it says, but is also the essence of karma yoga. As we have seen before, karma is not just action, as it is often loosely translated into. But rather, it is based on intention.

What Mr. Covey refers to here in a way is our lopsided view of karma. In our minds, we know that we mean the best. If we were late for work or an important occasion, we immediately have an answer ready. Not to the outside world, but to our own conscience. “I really wanted to be on time, but [it started raining] / [the carpenter came later than expected ] / [ got an unavoidable phone call ] / [add other genuine rationale here ].

This is fine. Things go wrong sometimes, and it’s certainly difficult to be perfect in everything all the time. But we apply these relaxations only to ourselves, not to the world. Why? Because we can only see what others do, and not what they are really thinking i.e. intending.

If as the realized masters say, it is intention that is most important even from a karmic point of view, we must introspect thus: are we being too lenient on ourselves, and conversely too harsh on others?

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Rejection notice

Here’s something I came across on my LinkedIn feed recently. A man who was in need of a job was giving some interviews.

During one such interview, the HR told him about the great practices followed in the company, the compassion, the empathy, the work life balance, the amazing culture, the camaraderie and so on. A wonderful HR marketing pitch if there was one.

A few days later, he got an email from the same HR. The email had no greeting, no salutation, no niceties, no ‘thank you for attending the interview’, no template-response either (‘thank you for interviewing with us, we appreciate your candidacy but regret to inform you…’).

Instead, the email from the HR had just one word. “Rejected”. Yes just this one word. Nothing else.

Maybe that HR didn’t have time, or was genuinely irritated by this applicant – who can say for sure. But it’s still basic courtesy isn’t it?

The learning for me was, that even though I don’t write ‘rejected’ emails, maybe I speak similarly – harshly and curtly at times. I may not even realize it, and I wouldn’t know the impact on the other person, but the other party might feel deeply hurt. Much care must be taken. Words once uttered, can seldom be taken back.

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First who, then what

Much of the work in the world is focused on answering the “what”s. What is the solution to this problem? What is the workaround here? What should be my position on this issue? What should I tell him or her? What should I expect from this project? What is our vision? What is the outcome of this strategy? What, what, what, what … that is what is everywhere.

However, the really successful people (think billionaires), they don’t care much about the ‘what’. They only care about the ‘who’. They know there’s a problem. But they also know they cannot solve all the problems in the world on their own. They know that the most optimal use of their time is to get the best person to solve that problem. Who do they want to work with? Who do they like? Who knows this job the best? Who is the one who’ll do this with the least fuss? That’s the important question – it’s always about the who. If the ‘who’ is taken care of, the ‘what’ will sort itself out. If the driver is good, then one needn’t worry about the car heading in the wrong direction.

Similar for spirituality as well. We are often focused on the what. What shlokas should I chant? What mantras work best? What meditation mat should I buy? What scriptures should I read? What seva should I do? What satsang should I join? So many whats.

But all we need, is one who. Who is the right person to answer all these questions? The answer is only one. The Guru. Once that answer is fixed, then all we need to do is to follow his advice. All problems solved.

500th post today by the way. Thank you for reading, and being part of this journey of joint transformation! 🙂

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Ready for battle

Here’s what my Guru says. Imagine you had the world’s best army.

It can achieve anything.

No task is insurmountable for this army.

100 billion in this army. And another 90 trillion. And another 27 trillion.

Yes that’s how awesome this army is. Imagine the scale and the power!

And you really do have this army – it’s no joke.

100 billion brain cells. 90 trillion body cells. 27 trillion hormones. It’s there in each and every one of us.

Are we making the most of it though?

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Devil in the details – part 3

In the superb Hollywood TV show called Lucifer, the (very funny and likeable) Devil himself, walks around Los Angeles in the garb of a human being. He never lies, and in fact goes around announcing to everyone who comes and goes in his life that he is none other than the ruler of Hell. But where are the horns? And the red tail? And the Devil doesn’t wear expensive designer suits now does he? Despite him telling the truth to everyone, no one believes him, and so it really is never a problem for him.

That’s in the reel world, but here’s a parallel in the real/spiritual world as well. Most spiritual seekers are looking for something to ‘happen’ to them. Like in comic books when they show the Buddha was enlightened, they show a halo around his head. So seekers expect they too will see light, or hear some messages from the air, or experience some otherworldly mystical phenomena.

But what if there is really nothing more to spirituality than simply watching your thoughts and actions in an unbiased and detached manner? It doesn’t mean that miraculous inexplicable things can’t or don’t happen. But that is maybe something else? Many spiritual greats forewarn seekers to not be swayed by anything cool they come across on their paths – power et al – as those may be mere distractions. As my Guru repeatedly says, the only thing that is required for spiritual progress is to drop one’s desires and attachments, and turn the mind inward aka toward God. It sounds simple, but its certainly not easy (to do, or to believe, à la Luci).

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Devil in the details – part 2

One of the challenges that Lucifer begins to face early on, is that he starts displaying ‘nice’ feelings. Compassion, empathy, love, and some sense of justice even. But these are not supposed to be relevant for the ruler of Hell isn’t it? Something I found out through the series was quite interesting – the Devil is not evil. The Devil only punishes evil. He is in fact a fallen angel. He is only a regulator of punishment that one has brought unto themselves. This reminded me of vedic astrology. Many people condemn and blame the planets. Oh Saturn, or Oh Rahu – the planet is responsible for my misery. But that is far from the truth. We through our own actions are ourselves responsible for what we get (across lives). The planet only serves as an indicator, as a marker in the long journey towards liberation.

Not just devil character, but the reverse is worth pondering over as well, i.e. what does it mean to be God-like? Is it just about having 4 arms, some superpowers and / or being immortal? Hardly. Those can merely be tools. An immortal fool is still a fool only. What matters is what one does with their life.

Being god-like is something we tend to think of in relation to a human form. But every aspect of nature around us is exhibiting god-like qualities, 100% of the time. Look at the trees arounds us. Constantly giving out oxygen – all for free. Animals like sheep give us wool, cows give us milk, dogs and cats give us company and loyalty and so on. At the very least, being a part of the food chain, they each ensure the ecosystem is balanced. Many animals and plants selflessly give not just some by products, but even their entire selves up. Can there be a bigger sacrifice? Maybe this is what being “god-like” really is all about. Not just living, but living constantly for the benefit of others.

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Devil in the details

Lucifer Morningstar. That’s the name of the devil according to the Bible. I learned this from watching a comedy/thriller TV show eponymously called, wait for it, yes, Lucifer! He’s the fallen angel, and is condemned to a life in hell. But that would be quite boring by Hollywood standards, and so they make Lucy as he’s called, take a vacation and come spend some time in Los Angeles.

One scene was especially poignant. A street performer dons the guise of one possessed by the devil, and says several supportive maniacal things to beef up his character. As he prances around to show proof of him being under the control of the ruler of hell, the real devil (dressed as a normal human of course) shows up. A quick demon-face reveal to this street performer by Lucy leads the performer to expectedly freak out to another level. Little did he expect to host the real devil at his performance, despite putting on an act for all his life! He proceeds to scream further about the devil, but the onlookers are unable to distinguish the performance from the real. What all stuff Hollywood comes up with 🙂

The point for me, is that there are so many people around us doing all sorts of outward actions. Some will chant, some will meditate, some will speak of mystic experiences, some will have saints come to them in their dreams and so on and so forth. Do these things matter? Not in the least. And no it is not me who’s saying it. Every spiritually realized soul and scripture eventually says the same thing, i.e. Do not worry or pay attention to outward gimmicks / experiences / performances. The real spiritual transformation only happens deep within oneself.

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Humble prostrations

Here’s how my Guru began his address to the satsangis this year during Guru Purnima.

He called out a variety of different Gurus across all sorts of sects. He mentally and verbally prostrated before all the great Gurus of yesteryear and now.

He paid obeisance to all the great rishis and munis and saints of the past. He also prostrated to Swami Chinmayananda, Srila Prabhupad, Sri Sri Ravishankar, Sadhguru, Sathya Sai, Shirdi Sai and all the other divine personalities. He also said we are prostrating daily to them. Not just to them, but also to their followers!

My Guru is 80+ years of age. He need not prostrate to anyone. But a self-realized soul understands that the age of the body is irrelevant, and that at our cores, we are all divine, and that there really is no difference. I’ve seen him physically fall at the feet of those who are much younger than him as well.

His prayer on Guru Purnima day was not for himself. Rather it was that we must all understand this divine unity within us, and love each other. And that the love must begin from each one of us, and spread outward. What humility, and what a thought!

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Double role

Chapter 2 in the Gita, towards the end, talks of dwandvas, which refers to duality, like two sides of the same coin. This duality is such, that no matter what the situation, the other side will occur as well – whether we like it or not. Life is full of such dwandvas. Night is always followed by day, and day by night. This can never be changed. Pain is followed by pleasure, and pleasure by pain. There is no escaping it. Success is followed by failure, and that failure in turn can lead to great success. Where great joy exists, great pain will follow too.

There are literally countless examples – pretty much everything we see and feel around us. Get too close to somebody? Then the pain of separation will eventually become too much. Love your child too much? One day s/he will have to go away for higher education or marry someone elsewhere. Love your job or role or credentials? One day you will have to retire and all these will become meaningless. Desperately waiting to go on a vacation? Soon the vacation will come to an end and you will be back at work. And thus the cycle continues, on and on and on.

What’s the point of thinking this way? Only to understand and appreciate that this duality is the nature of the world around us. We keep praying to God for many things. Each of those things also comes with the same duality only. We pray for good things to happen to us. But we forget that these good things will by design come with some not-so-good stuff attached. That is the law of life and creation. So if a prayer isn’t answered, maybe we shouldn’t be depressed about it after all?

In any case, there is only one thing that is non-dual. And that singular omnipotent omnipresent omniscient being can be found deep within each one of us.

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1 – 2 ka 4

Someone asked the tennis legend Martina Navratilova once how she can continue playing so well at the age of 43. Her reply was precious. She said, “The ball doesn’t know how young or old I am. Besides, for 90% of the match, I do not need to focus.”

This is an amazing response on two counts. One, it is the internal content of the person that really matters. Which is why we see so many billion dollar companies being run by 20- or 30-year olds, and not necessarily by septuagenarians alone. While hierarchy, age and respect are important, when it comes to work and giving one’s best, the opinions of the world around us do not matter much.

Two, in our daily work, it might appear that we are working 12-15 hours a day. But is every minute or every hour really that intense and productive? Likely not. Which is why more and more research and experiments seem to suggest that taking walks and breaks and creative time off is better than just sitting at one’s desk for hours on end.

In certain professions, this is easier. Like for Usain Bolt or Michael Phelps – they need to bring their A-game and focus for the entirety of only 1 or 2 minutes. And that will last them 4 years at the Olympics. No comments on the length of their practise sessions though 😃

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Equations – part 2

A few more simple equations:

  1. Visualization + execution >>> execution-only > visualization-only
  2. Health + wealth >> Health > wealth
  3. Distraction = destruction
  4. Spirituality = embracing uncertainty
  5. Pain =/= suffering; suffering is only in the mind
  6. Pain + reflection = progress

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Equations

Some simple equations for life:

  1. Faith > Fear —> Success;
  2. Comfort zone = Failure zone;
  3. Success = giving back to society; Money, status etc. == only by-products;
  4. Starting the day well = day well;
  5. Changing yourself = changing world;
  6. Near birth and near death = don’t care about anyone; At all other times = try to impress everyone. Why?
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Replicating success

Here’s an awesome paragraph taken right out of the commentary to the Narada Bhakti Sutra by Sri Sri Ravishankar.

Until that perfection is achieved, even before the result appears, keep on acting. Keep acting but do not worry about the fruit of action.

Don’t be attached to the result of an action. Do not think you are in control of everything. This is the greatest illusion!

You know, success brings more illusion, because when you are successful, you think you achieved it.

But if someone else repeats all that you did, I tell you, they won’t be successful. This has happened. There is no prototype for success in the world; no, what do you call it … ?

Formula. There is no concrete formula for success. I tell you. This could be a formula. One formula for success: there is no formula for success!

Isn’t this great advice? Not just for spiritual success but material too. Don’t stop acting in the world, but do not expect success, and certainly not by copying others.

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Regressive development

When a realized soul says, “What is the use of education? What is the use of all this advancement and technology? These are all meaningless in the quest to quell the mind.”, it certainly raises some eyebrows. In this day and age of amazing technology, how can someone denounce these life-savers? “I can’t even sit in a room alone for 5 minutes without my phone – God bless the one who invented it”, would seem a reasonable response.

Maybe a slight shift in perspective would help see the world from the eyes of a jivanmukta. Indeed, to live in today’s world as it is, technology and education are important. But what if this world wasn’t the way it is?

If we went back to the olden times, there were no TVs, no cars, no ACs. But them folks still survived, relying on the outdoors and social gatherings. There were no mobile phones, even for long distance calls, but then there really wasn’t any need for going long distance. All needs were met within the village area. Yes trade and commerce and what not helped ‘develop and civilize’ humans, but was that really necessary? All industrial and technology improvements are supposed to have made our lives more efficient, but here we are, more stressed, more depressed and more anxious than ever before. And the great advances in medicine are now mainly to treat cool-sounding “lifestyle diseases”, which probably wouldn’t have arrived if man didn’t venture beyond his means.

This is probably what the self-realized folks really suggest. If all the technology and modernization and education ultimately leads to a worse life than before, then of what good is all this so-called progress?

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Cover page

When we discuss Dale Carnegie’s (DC) amazing book How to Win Friends & Influence People in satsang, participants often ask certain types of questions. Maybe we can call these questions as extremities. Here are some examples:

  1. DC says we need to listen to the other person. But what if the other person keeps on talking and I don’t get to talk at all?
  2. DC says think from the other person’s point of view. But what if the other person doesn’t think from mine?
  3. DC says we need to smile as often as possible. But others aren’t smiling.
  4. DC says develop a genuine interest in the other person. But when do I then get to talk about my interests?

These are all valid concerns. However, our objective must be clearly understood. As the title on the book’s cover page states, this book is useful if you want to win the other person over, befriend them and / or influence them.

If this is the clear focus and objective, then we need to think: Does it matter whether I get to talk or not, or that the other person doesn’t smile or not, or that they don’t see the world from my point of view? Ideally, no!

This is DC’s decades and countless experiences’ worth of rare wisdom neatly encapsulated into a 200 page book. The real question we must be asking ourselves is – how better can I apply the learnings of this magical book to my life?

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Intelligentsia

Many great self-realized souls have said time and again that an education is of the least importance to attaining moksha or liberation. While it has the instant advantage of levelling the playing field for everyone – no matter the status, wealth, profession or credentials in the material world, it is still not easy. To some extent, having education and knowledge is helpful because it is only because of these that we may even become aware of the existence of a spiritual path.

But this too isn’t necessarily true. A beggar who has lived by the side of a temple throughout his life, might imbibe the devotion he sees in the various pilgrims that make their way to that sacred place. While the pilgrims may be done with their temple rituals in a matter of minutes, the beggar’s circumambulations would continue for life, with little else to care for.

For the intelligent and educated ones, the logical brain gets in the way of all spiritual progress. Many of the biggest frauds around us, the biggest blow ups, the biggest failures – they aren’t caused by a lack of brainpower – but rather due to excess intelligence leading folks to tell themselves that they are unconquerable.

As Richard Feynman once said, “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.”

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From raags to riches

Raaga in sankrit refers to attachment. This attachment is considered to be one of the greatest barriers to spiritual evolution. Why so? Because if we are attached to our own body, our own families, our own this and that, then there is no scope for appreciating the one true Consciousness, which is everywhere at once.

The requirement then is to get rid of this raaga. This is called vairaagya or detachment. Defining it is easy, but actually living it is nearly impossible. Just play with a cute baby for a few hours, and you’ll find yourself attached, and thinking of the baby many times a day “Oh so cute!”.

As my Guru recently commented:

  1. Bhakti or devotion, means inseparable pain when away from the Lord. Which them implies needing to give up everything else, i.e. devotion begins when raaga ends.
  2. Parents believe that giving their children a lot of wealth would tantamount to their welfare. But no, their welfare is in their vairagya or detachment to the wealth.
  3. Someone did something bad to you. That is over. Now forget about it. Don’t replay it a 100 times for 100 years. If we are mentally at peace, then vairagya becomes easy.
  4. Supremely detached fellow is giving hundreds of thousands to charitable organizations but is fighting for a few rupees with the roadside vegetable vendor.

All worth pondering over deeply.

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Pretty girl

On the theory of relativity, Einstein once said “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.”

And so time is a matter of perspective. We often hate office and work, but love vacations. It might seem like the 12 hours we spend a day at work just drags on forever, while the 24 hours in a vacation goes off in a jiffy.

Satsangs are similar too. At times, they may feel boring. Almost like we have heard the same things (messages, quotes, stories) over and over again. And to find even that 1 hour a week would be the hardest thing in the world. Why waste an hour when we can do something else – like catch a movie on Netflix or Amazon Prime?

If we have spent countless births stuck in Maya, the thought to ponder over is, will just an hour a week suffice, to get us out of it? We will have to fall in love with satsang, just like Einstein’s pretty girl, if we wish to make tangible progress. Eventually, every waking minute will become a satsang, just like a Guru’s life.

As Guruji says, satsang is the most noble place, because it is a zero-liabilities place. There are no downsides to satsang, only humongous benefits.

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Lost plot

Many professions today do not practically need the depth and breadth of our prior education. Primary school, high school, junior college, senior college, bachelor’s, master’s, post doctorals – the list goes on.

But do we apply all of what we learn in our daily work? Hardly. What our bosses need is mostly just to focus on getting small bits and pieces done at the right time. Ownership, responsibility, dedication, meeting deadlines, being a team player – yes these are often substantially enough to differentiate a good employee from a bad one.

But even doing this is difficult at times. The focus is often on the things that do not matter. Like trying to do something to perfection, when it has been clearly communicated that a rough framework would suffice. Or when one has been asked to use something off-the-shelf, only to find out later that the person tried to reinvent the wheel. These smaller errors are unrelated to the work itself, but are enough to let the one in charge know that the doer has lost the plot.

A similar plot loss happens in spirituality too. All that is required is for one to realize the Divinity deep within. It is an internal exercise. The Gurus say that one must simply watch the mind, and prioritize the Real over transient. But many seekers love to delude themselves, and resort to a plethora of practices and meditations to attempt to quiet the mind. The mind is like a schizophrenic monkey on steroids. Can it really be quietened? The only sustainable way the Gurus say is to give up all attachments and desires.

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3-pointer

When we talk basketball, the first names that come to mind are usually Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Shaquille O’Neal or Stephen Curry. Each of these players has really proven themselves on the court, and have amazing records to boot.

But sometimes the magic can happen off-court too! Giannis Antetokounmpo, just 26 years old, has had a great run off late in the NBA. One wouldn’t call his background a very wealthy one – given his parents were Nigerian immigrants in Greece, and even making ends meet was a challenge.

He was asked recently at a press conference how he keeps his form in check, now that he has been playing so well. His answer is a 3-pointer that any basketball fan would be proud of.

  1. If I focus on the past, that’s my ego
  2. If I focus on the future, that’s my pride
  3. If I focus on the present, that’s my humility.

“And it’s not like I don’t set expectations for my game, but while playing, I enjoy myself and really give it my best shot”

Slam dunk!

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Honest policy

Now most times, when someone comes up and says, “Hey give me your honest feedback on my performance / speech / act / article”, the person on the other side becomes fairly guarded. Should they speak the truth and risk losing an important relationship? Or do they just continue to parade the emperor with no clothes?

This may not matter much in the larger scheme of things in the personal realm. But honesty / transparency are hugely important for company culture. Whether to customers, between employees and management, to shareholders or other stakeholders – admitting mistakes without worry of being censured and the ability to speak freely is quite a superpower. 

The example of Bridgewater Associates, run by Ray Dalio comes to mind. Dalio released some candid feedback he received from one of his employees. “Ray – you deserve a “D-” for your performance today in the meeting. You did not prepare at all because there is no way you could have and still been that disorganized. In the future, I/we would ask you to take some time and prepare and maybe even I should come up and start talking to you to get you warmed up or something but we can’t let this happen again. If you in any way think my view is wrong, please ask the others or we can talk about it.”

And that’s exactly what Mr. Dalio did. He asked the rest of the people in that meeting to rate him on a scale of A to F. Let’s just say the result was closer to F than to A. He immediately published the result for his entire employee base of >2000 people to see.

This is debilitating and extreme honesty to be a recipient of. But its unique culture has been instrumental in helping Bridgewater build itself into one of the world’s largest hedge funds, persisting for over 45 years – when the average life of a hedge fund is only 5 years.

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How to attain spiritual perfection

Here are three most important requirements which were discussed in a recent satsang.

  1. Humility
  2. Compassion
  3. Ananya bhakti (i.e. constant devotion to the Lord / God / Oneness / Consciousness / Paramatman / Supreme Being etc.)

If we attempt to analyse these a bit more:

Humility comes from accepting that neither do we know everything, nor are we the best at anything.

Compassion comes from accepting that there others more needy than us (usually we are the only centre of our attention).

Ananya Bhakti is harder to grasp and practise. It requires more alertness than the other two. It requires the spiritual seeker to bring God into every aspect of one’s life, into every waking moment, into every voluntary thought and action. A good way to begin, is with gratitude for everything that has already taken place and is currently taking place.

Seen differently, 1 and 2 chop away constantly at the seemingly infallible tree that is the ego. And point 3 replaces it with the only Truth that exists.

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Old school

Today’s generation of music is hardly well… music. There’s a lot of masala, a lot of beats, a lot of beep words and a lot of a lot of things. To call them nonsensical might actually be doing them a favour. But who am I to judge right? Some of these music videos have over 500 million views each. Imagine a whole village, a whole town, a whole city, an entire country – all being brought up watching such trash. What will happen to their future?

Step into yesteryear though. Wow, what divnity! Not in every song of course, but more than today for sure. Here’s an outstanding composition I came across from a 1960s Tamil movie called Sumai Thaangi. The lyricist was the renowned Kannadasan – known not just for his amazing poetry but also for his deep philosophical thought.

I’m no Tamil expert, but these words from just the first 4 lines are as if straight from Heaven itself:

Manithan enbavan dheivam aagalaam
[Man can himself become divine] ... really? But how? read on...
Vaari vaari vazhangum bothu vallal aagalaam
[By sharing his wealth, he becomes a philanthropist]
Vaazhai pola thannai thanthu thiyagi aagalaam
[By giving like a banana tree (no part is useless), he becomes an ascetic] 
Urugi odum mezhugu pola oliyai veesalaam
[Like the melting candle wax, he can spread light to everyone]

We may consider our previous generations to be “old school”. But they actually knew the true meaning of life and how to attain it.

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Sadd happiness

There was an awesome lecture given by Swami Swaroopananda that I had the chance to attend a few years ago. I don’t remember much, except that he spoke about another session he once lectured at.

His recounted his question to his audience in that, “Is there anyone here who wants to be happy?” Obviously all the hands had gone up, All except one. Swamiji of course was perplexed. So he turned the question around, thinking maybe the man may have misunderstood. “Is there anyone here who wants to be sad?” The man was the only one to raise his hand. Swamiji asked him “Why do you want to be sad?”. The man replied, “Because being sad makes me happy.”

Isn’t this hilarious? Even the ones apparently seeking destruction and mayhem and chaos and sadness actually want happiness only.

That’s why I like the ‘SADD’ acronym that I concocted from the 2nd chapter of the Gita. Yes, yes, it is indeed a terribly un-innovative acronym and hence I’m totally happy to take the credit :D. Terrible jokes aside, SADD stands for Sense control, Attachments gone, Desires gone, and Dwandvas gone. The first 3 are self-explanatory. The Dwandvas are all around us – pairs of opposites – good/bad, night/day, joy/pain etc. All of spiritual progress is about remaining equanimous in the face of these. We need to be really SADD to be really happy.

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Monetime

A very interesting book called Layered Money that I’m reading traces the evolution of money through time. In the very earliest days of commerce, there was no money – only the barter system. If I had potatoes from my farm, but desperately wanted cotton, then all I could do was to offer my potatoes and hope the cotton farmer wanted some. Of course potatoes were important (still are), but there could be a limit to how many potatoes a cotton farmer could eat.

So people devised ways to get around this. In the earliest days, money wasn’t coins or paper as we know it today. It was mostly seashells. Big and shiny meant richer and wealthier. But of course not everyone lived near a beach, and so that had to change. Iron pieces were then used too – for quite a while. And then unsurprisingly, silver and gold came along the way. People with a lot of gold and silver even today are considered rich.

Alongside that wealth, came human ego. Coins were introduced, and standardized in design and weight. And then coins were embossed with the faces of the kings and queens of the time. Currency notes too had the same features. Many rulers would kill and plunder simply to change the faces on them coins and notes. It was a matter of great personal pride. Coins from hundreds of years ago – of perhaps the greatest kings that ever lived in those times – are but worthless now. That face – completely unrecognizable and irrelevant to those born today.

And now we have digital currencies, like Bitcoins and Ether. Even these aren’t as individualistic as their creators would want them to be, because there are over 9500 cryptocurrencies. And anyone with coding knowledge, can create a new one. Time takes care of all egos.

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Down to earth

One of the biggest challenges facing humanity today is climate change. We’ve discussed this in previous posts. But suffice it to say that we are taking from mother earth far more than we are giving back.

A famous Hollywood actor named Zac Efron has a TV documentary series called Down to Earth where he travels the world trying to find sustainable solutions for humanity’s problems.

One of the studies being done in Sardinia is interesting. There are a bunch of ‘blue zones’, where the locals all seem to live easily beyond a 100 years.

Zac himself has six-pack abs and admits to eating his bodyweight in protein every single day, and having gone months and even years together without touching carbs at all. And these cute centenarian Sardinian aunties and uncles? They barely have much protein – and certainly no whey powder or creatine powder or other supplements. What they do have though, is a really chilled out, but active lifestyle. Lots of walking and very less of stress.

Zac summarizes by saying thus, “I gotta get out of Hollywood man. That place, with all the stress and tension, it’s just not conducive for living. I just gotta get out.”

But we all want more fame and more money and more status even at the cost of a terrible lifestyle right?

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Sweaty

In a recent youth satsang, one of the questions asked was on how to calm oneself down during an altercation. This is surely hard. If someone gets angry at us, then even if we’ve read all the anger management books out there, we may still feel our pulse racing, our hearts beating faster, our teeth and jaws clenching etc. So then what to do?

The answer given by a senior satsangi was on point. He quoted, “The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in battle.”

We think controlling our emotions is an on-off switch, and can be learned with some tips from a one-hour session. But the crux is to prepare before the game. Well before the game. To in fact be in a constant state of preparation.

Our scriptures suggest a variety of ‘exercises’, whether it is breathing, yoga, giving up desires and attachments, meditating, austerity, sacrifice, charity and several others. It might seem like these are all unrelated and irrelevant to our daily troubles. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.

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Mediterranean Life – is back

We discussed the TV show Mediterranean Life back in April this year. They’re back with season 2, and boy do those landscapes and vistas and balcony views look stunning!

So yet another bunch of families leave their homes and hometowns behind, in the quest for a peaceful Mediterranean lifestyle.

One opening remark by one of the wandering souls struck me deeply. He said, “Wow what sunny beaches. I’m so happy to leave behind all the snow. Yay, no more snow!”

No more snow? I’ve never been to a place while it’s snowing. I don’t know how snow feels. Is it hard? soft? fluffy? I’ve seen many YouTube videos of course, but never had snow falling over my head. But 45-degrees sun? Yes that I’ve seen plenty of.

It’s amazing how what one person is running towards, another is running away from. The bottom line is that people are always running. Standing still might be the best antidote to all our problems. Physically, and mentally.

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Empavert

The world loves extroverts. These people are chatty, gregarious, always have stories to tell, and seem to get along so easily.

Introverts on the other hand, seem to struggle to get along with most, and prefer to be curled up with a book rather than the centre of attention in a pub.

A book called Quiet by Susain Cain explores how introverts are actually very powerful, can think deeply and make massive contributions to the world in their own ways.

But maybe extroverts and introverts as defined by outward behaviour is irrelevant, even though that is what catches the eye. Dig a little deeper, and what may really matter is empathy.

One can make quick and superficial judgements about people looking at how they behave in public (intro or extro). But when someone goes the extra mile, out of the way to do something for someone else, that is the true basis for a sustainable relationship. In this respect, even an introvert could be an extrovert, by thinking about the other person selflessly.

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Endgame

We are always looking for the final result. The rank, the medal, the winner, the outcome, the hero triumphing over the villain, the underdog emerging victorious over the incumbent, we ourselves being ‘chosen’ over others and on and on. The endgame is what keeps us going. Or so we think. In this quest for clarity of the future, we often lose sight of the present. Especially when the present is a long journey and the future is just a blip.

Here’s something I experience often. My role at work requires some amount of selling and marketing. Maybe every role in every workplace does nowadays. We can’t be progressing in our careers without constantly selling something or the other – either our ideas, our work, our plans, or at the very least – ourselves.

Whenever I’m required to sell to a client, the majority of the conversation is about talking about our products and how we can help our clients with those. Of course we listen and ask the right questions and so on, but the meeting has been setup so that the client can understand us, so we would certainly need to be speaking and presenting for much of the time. And only right at the end do some of them confess that they are actually not in the market for a solution like this at all!

Sometimes I think, “Hey, couldn’t you just have told this to me at the start?” And then I realize, that if I’d known at the start, then I probably wouldn’t have been as sincere or as convincing with my pitch.

There’s a close parallel in life in general as well. Many times, we do not have all or even some of the answers we seek. But that is actually a very very good thing. Because this is what helps us take life sincerely. Living it by the second, smelling the roses along the way – rather than focusing solely on endgames.

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Irrelevance

Buying and owning a library of amazing spiritual books – Irrelevant

Reading the latest editions of spiritual and self-help texts – Irrelevant

Listening to spiritual sermons by the best of saints – Irrelevant

Writing books (and blogs!) on spirituality – Irrelevant

Attending live sessions of preachers and spiritually realized souls – Irrelevant

Speaking to small and / or large audiences on the Gita / other spiritual texts – Irrelevant

Ability to read/write/process Sanskrit to access said abstruse spiritual texts – Irrelevant

Chanting or performing great mantras/hymns/shlokas/homas – Irrelevant

Everything superficial is irrelevant in the pursuit of the Self, unless the lessons and takeaways are put into day-to-day implementation. That’s the only way, according to my Guru, does even a modicum of transformation take place.

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Fear factor

Here’s an awesome quote you may have heard before – “Where fear ends, life begins.” But for the vast majority of people, fear is actually a very good catalyst.

About a century ago, a delicious white fish known as Cod was becoming popular. It was found in the North Atlantic and word quickly spread elsewhere. The challenge was in keeping the cod fish fresh, as it was transported across the country for consumption. Fresh = tasty.

Many solutions were attempted. Freezing the fish and sending by rail was one – but it became mushy and flavourless. Another was converting the train carriage into a large aquarium and sending the cod fish alive. But despite being transported alive, the cod was still mushy and tasteless.

Finally someone analysed that the cod fish’s natural predator was the catfish. They put a few catfish in each tank and shipped cod fish across the country. During the journey the catfish would chase the cod fish. This cod fish tasted absolutely fresh.

Fresh means being uncomfortable and uncertain. This is counter-intuitive, but it is also when the most growth ever happens. In fact Guruji says that living in uncertainty alone is spirituality. Fearfulness perhaps leads to fearlessness.

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Upstairs

We often have a lot of faith in the man/woman upstairs. Not literally, but the one supposed to be in the heavens. This is good of course. Hardly anything really happens solely because of our efforts. We’re so dependent on other people and things for getting our work done. However, do we take this faith too far, and could it be misplaced?

It’s not uncommon to hear “It’s all in the hands of ‘uparwala’.” (which in Hindi refers to God as the man upstairs).

A new age pharmacy start-up called PharmEasy in India took on this aspect with a catchy advertisement. When an old couple are sitting at home bemoaning their health, and utter “It’s all in the hands of the man upstairs”, momentarily the ceiling caves in with a man sitting in his bathtub and holding his phone with the PharmEasy app. He says, “Why leave it to the man upstairs, when you’ve got the PharmEasy app?!”

People often tend to put off health related concerns and leave it to God. Not just health, but many other aspects too – “I am like this only.” Even when they have the means and opportunity to eat well, sleep well, study well, work well, exercise well and so on. We may not be able to predict the future, but we can certainly prepare for it.

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Far far away

Here’s a real-life tough-as-nails true story. A lady with two young kids desperately needed a job. Her husband is a daily-wage worker – and had been out of work for over a year – thanks to Covid. The family stayed in a remote village in the north-east part of India.

She knew she had to keep the family afloat, and hence offered her services as a full-time nanny. She landed a job, not in the comfort of her own village, but in the southern part of India – many thousand kilometres away. She had never taken a flight before. She had never even left her village before. But when life gives you lemons…

Also, it wasn’t as easy as just getting on a flight from place A to place B. She had to have a Covid-negative report first. The nearest Covid test centre was a four hour ride from her village – one way. Even her trip to the nearest airport was not easy. No luxury of a car to ferry her. She was driven pillion on a scooter, with one suitcase in between her and the driver. The rain gods poured their affection on her and she was totally drenched by the time she got to the airport. With only two dresses to wear for her extended trip away from family, she had no choice but to wear the wet clothes through her cold very first plane journey.

Yet she was (and is) nothing but smiles – no matter that she had to leave her family behind and may not see her own kids for many months together – all the while working to take care of someone else’s baby. Attitude is indeed everything.

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C for critical – part 3

One of the most common questions asked of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People book is on criticism.

If I’m a boss, and my employee does something wrong, then why should I not criticise him/her? If my child son or daughter does something wrong, why should I not criticize / discipline them?

As we saw yesterday, criticism, hate and anger are only emotions, lead to distress, and often have the opposite outcome of what was intended.

So was Dale Carnegie wrong? Not at all.

He never said don’t ‘correct’ someone if you have to. He only said don’t ‘criticize’ someone.

Both words start with ‘c’, but have entirely different implications. If a manager shouts at his/her employee, of course the employee is going to switch-off mentally. However if the manager sits the employee down, tells him/her that they are doing well, but to rise in this organization, they need to ‘correct’ a few things, then this form of feedback is much more palatable!

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C for critical – part 2

No one likes a dictatorial regime – where only one person calls the shots, much to the detriment of everyone else. But we are each dictators in our own rights.

When we receive flak or criticism from anyone, our guard immediately spikes, shoulders tighten, jaws harden, ego fires up, ears shut down, brain freezes – etc etc. exactly like a dictator would quickly shut down his country’s borders to apparently save himself from his enemies.

What do we want in life? Good results? Or good image? Of course both. But these are somewhat contradictory.

We may begin with some good results which then gives us some name and fame. But can we be right all the time? Can we guarantee the best process and results always? Hardly. Even the best workers may fall wayward. If in such times, one does not seek and implement feedback, then their results will suffer. If the results suffer, how can one maintain or even elevate their good image?

While criticism should not be given as Dale Carnegie says in his book How to Win Friends & Influence People, we on the receiving end of flak can surely train ourselves to look for the message-minus-emotion. Concluded tomorrow…

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C for critical

Many years ago, a boss I had, got angry at me. It wasn’t just a passing one, but the type where the other person goes red in the face.

I was new to the team, yet to figure out its workings, and also tired from working literally 24×7.

But it wasn’t enough, and I was reprimanded constantly. Needless to say, I resigned from that job in about 6 months time.

Cut to today, and I don’t remember anything about why exactly I was scolded and picked on so much by that boss.

What were those 2-3 typos in the 100-deck presentation, or the slide sequence that he didn’t like, or the one tab in the excel sheet which was formatted slightly differently from the other 30? I have no recollection whatsoever.

Despite spending 6 months there (i.e. 6 months x 24 x 7), I cannot even remember what projects I worked on during that time – and there were many!

But one thing that keeps coming back? Those scenes of anger and finger-pointing. The humiliation I felt. The incompetence I felt. The inability of the other person to communicate well. It was all devastating.

The emotion remained, but the message disappeared. So is criticism really the answer? Continued tomorrow…

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Obaat

The Gita talks of not focusing on the results, but only our own actions, i.e. that which is in our control.

While watching a recent cricket match, one of the commentators mentioned something very similar. He said that there is one universal rule that applied to all batsmen, no matter how accomplished.

If the batsman is at the crease and facing a delivery, he must do nothing for those few seconds than to focus entirely on playing that ball, i.e. One Ball At A Time, and hence the title of this post. If the batsman is thinking about whether he would score a century (100 runs), or how he got out the previous game, or whether he would be awarded man-of-the-match, or whether his name would feature in the next day’s newspaper, how can he possibly focus on the task at hand, which is to smash the ball over the boundary for a six?

His mantra for success is therefore “one ball at a time”, and it has to be mandatorily practised every single day – no matter whether he is a debutant, or has played the game for 30 years and is a veteran on the cusp of retirement.

Same applies for success in all fields.

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Baby steps 2

Becoming an ‘uncle’ brings with it the unmatched pleasure of enjoying the purest of all creation – babies! When they smile and gurgle, we forget all our worldly problems.

And everyone wants to cuddle with a happy baby. It’s an absolute delight to lift the cute bundle of joy and coochee-coo.

Until the wailing begins that is. Pacifying a one month old can be quite the task. Because they can’t speak or communicate, there’s no way to know why they’re crying. Is it hunger? Gas? Positional discomfort? Inability to sleep? Fear? Silence? Too much noise? It’s impossible to tell.

And in those times, an outsider will quickly hand the baby back to the mother or father and bolt for the door. But the difficult part is staying the course, pacifying the baby, comforting it, and transforming that mood from sombre to sweet.

Surely the parallel to life is obvious. How many times are we put in challenging situations? And how many times do we run away, versus stick on and find a solution?

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Baby steps

Here’s a new title that got added to my name recently. ‘Uncle’. No, not the kids in the neighborhood who’ve been seeing my grey hair and calling me uncle for years 😂. This time, it’s for real. There are two lovely baby nieces who’ve entered this funny and amazing world we are in.

There’s some cool stuff we can learn being with them. One of the things I struggle with – is managing emotions of other people. If someone gets angry or spews something at me, it’s instinctive almost to react. Either defend or attack, just to say something, anything.

When you’ve got a one month old baby on your shoulder – one of three things are going to be on you sooner than later – peepee, poopoo or vomit. The one thing you just cannot do in such a situation, is to react. The baby is so fragile and needs such delicate handling, that it’s an amazing lesson in just living in the moment and accepting the situation as it is. This is not about not sitting around without cleaning up. Rather it is about taking a pause and letting them emotions settle down, before doing something.

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Qarm& yogA – part 2

The Q&A on karma yoga concludes today.

Question 4 – If there are no qualifications needed, then what is my duty exactly? Because the grass always seems greener elsewhere (ie other’s duties seem better).
Answer to that is verse 35. Whatever you are doing now, that is your duty. If you are speaking in the satsang that is your duty. If you are driving your car that is your duty. Also, our ultimate duty we need to remember, is to attain the Happiness within and eventually enable everyone around us to access it, just like Guruji does. As Krishna says in the 18th chapter, the one who teaches His messages is dearest to Him.

Question 5 – Now that we know our duty, while doing it, how should it be performed?
Answer to that is verse 25 – Selfless work – always working for the welfare of the world. No “what’s in it for me”?

Question 6 – How to work without expecting a result? Should I not be aiming for a goal/target/promotion?
Answer is that there is a difference between goals and results. The Guru says by all means have a goal and work hard towards it, but do not dwell on the result. The distinction is subliminal, yet key.

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Qarm& yogA

Chapter 3 in the Gita is all about karma yoga. Here’s my quick 2-part Q&A on this outstandingly practical chapter.

Question 1 – The Lord says that ‘knowledge’ is superior to ‘action’. Should I not then go in search of ‘knowledge’ first?
Answer to that is verse 3 – two paths are given by Lord K – one jnaana yoga, other karma yoga. If the mind is pure, then jnaana yoga is fine. But if we are not ready for it, and still have desires and attachments, then action is the only alternative. But the same goal can reached, irrespective of the path – knowledge or action.

Question 2 – When we feel hopeless and helpless sometimes, and become fatalistic, because “in the long run, we are all dead anyway” – then why should I do any work/action at all?
Answer to that is verse 8 – action is superior to inaction. Through inaction, one cannot even maintain one’s own body.

Question 3 – What qualifications do I need? Do I need to be a doctor, lawyer, MBA for karma yoga?
Answer to that is verse 19, purport 2 – also the favourite of Mahatma Gandhi, and which Guruji has also put onto the back cover of his Amazing Simple Gita. “No qualifications needed.”

Intrigued? Continued tomorrow…

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Up the sleeve

There’s a very fun magic show called Penn & Teller: Fool Us that you can watch on YouTube. Unlike usual magic shows, this one is a talent show, but for magicians!

So magicians from all over the world come and perform in front of two of the greatest magicians in the world (i.e. Penn & Teller), and the duo then try to decipher the trick. If they cannot, then they admit they are fooled, and the magician wins a trophy.

Needless to say, the magic acts are entertaining, mind-blowing and superbly crafted. While the entire audience is having fun, the two judges are doing their very best to tear every single movement, every sleight of hand and every misdirection apart. While everyone else is enjoying the trick, these two are doing their ‘office jobs’ in a way. Somewhat takes the fun away, but despite that, they do get fooled – and boy are those fun to watch!

One magician participant said something very awesome. He said he had practiced the very trick he presented for over ten years. Not just that, but he also videotaped himself performing the same trick, nearly a hundred times, and from a hundred different camera angles. And each time, he would make improvements, sometimes minor, sometimes major, but each one contributed to his final act – which Penn & Taylor commented as “absolutely flawless”. Hard work + technology = Smart work = Success!

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Lights out

Today morning, the electricity went off. Poof, kaput, gone. Some maintenance work yada yada will be back in 12 hours yada yada said one whatsapp message.

I quickly switched from wifi to mobile hotspot and continued to work. A couple of video calls, and a few other normal calls, plenty of emails, several powerpoint slides, some excel sheets and a few more emails later, my laptop battery started to give way.

A few hours later, and my phone was dying too. Dusk had set in. Darkness all around, except my phone screen. And then that was gone as well. No this is not a horror story.

No screens, no calls from work, no deadlines, no TV, no music, no noises, only darkness. But it was beautiful. We sat together and talked – with zero distractions. It was free flowing, and chilled out. Not a care in that moment. Such simple pleasures of life. Going with the flow.

And the lights momentarily came on as the fan whirred back to life. Deadlines, phone calls, work, screens, distractions – everything was back. Back to normal. But our normal is quite abnormal, isn’t it?

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The Great Debate

People of science argue that there is no God. Because science is based on logic. And logic can be proven. And repeatedly so.

People of faith argue that there is a God. Logic is irrelevant to them. Why? Because their own personal experiences have taught them that miracles can and do happen – and if its a repeatable non-coincidence at their times of greatest need – then who cares about logic.

The science folks argue that if God exists, then why do you need technology to improve lives. Why have cutting edge medicine to save lives. Why use computers and mobiles and other amazing inventions? God didn’t invent those did he? Man did. The faith folks argue that the substratum for any ‘inventions’ were not invented by any man or human, but are divine gifts, of which we are mere renters.

This is a never ending debate. But it needn’t be so.

All the ancient scriptures describe God in the same way. As the spark of Consciousness that resides deep within each one of us. Not just us humans, but in all living beings. Not just living, but also inanimate things. Basically everything there is, is just an expression of this Consciousness, but in a multitude of forms. It is this Consciousness spark in humans that is known as intuition, that sometimes results in amazing solutions to problems, that results in great advancements in technology and so on. Seen this way, there is no debate.

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Struggler

Everyone is constantly struggling. Someone wants to change their job. Someone wants to have the same job that this other person is so desperate to leave. Someone wants more money. Someone with a lot of money wants to know how to invest it best. Someone wants more recognition. Someone wants more love and legitimacy in their relationship. Someone wants a family. Someone wants a child. And on and on and on. The struggles are never ending.

Everyone thinks their baby days were the best. No office tension. No home tension. No need to do anything. Just cry, and you can be assured of full service. But is it that easy?

Babies cry for the weirdest reasons. Could be a little gas in the tummy. Or a sudden loud sound. Or hearing another baby nearby cry. Or not knowing how to go to sleep. Or hunger. Or tiredness. You name it. And their cries are really loud. Because that’s the only defence/weapon that human babies have in their arsenal.

And the other end of the spectrum? As an old person, maybe touching 100, are they free from struggles? Despite presumably having lived happy lives, having had great careers, made name and fame, having wonderful large grand and great-grandchildren, they might struggle for basic physical needs – like getting up for a glass of water maybe.

Life moves fast, and we each are going from one end of the spectrum to the other at breakneck speed. And this struggle is constant – during every step of this ephemeral spectral move. When one struggle ends, the next begins.

However, as every spiritual text would tell us, the struggle really is only in the mind, as is the victory over it. We know this, yet we struggle. That is the biggest struggle.

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Substantial

My Guru was giving a discourse on the Bhagavatam recently. In that, sage Narada happens to be traveling and reaches the world in its current state, i.e. Kali yuga. What is the sum and substance of this age? That the substance has gone from everything. The Guru explained it beautifully thus.

The ‘substance’ has gone means the ‘purpose’ has gone.

Means people are not putting their hearts and souls into what they are doing. There is no love and enjoyment for work. There is no attention to work.

Not just office work. But to most actions.

If one is going to a temple to pray, the substance is lost, because the mind is not on the Lord, but on what we want from the Lord.

How profound! An important message for me, especially on this auspicious day of Guru Purnima. All glories to Him!

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Come again

Many people do not believe in reincarnation. And those who do, can’t prove it.

Some people are totally against it. While some others even speak of remembering their own past births.

Who and how and why to believe?

Reincarnation comes into the picture from a karmic point of view, i.e. the law of karma, i.e action begets reaction.

Think of a justice system, that does not punish one for a crime. Rather, all their good actions and bad actions are separately totalled, and then netted off. If good is greater than bad, then no matter how barbaric the bad (think murders and rapes), the person goes to a ‘heaven’. And that’s that. Case closed. Story over. No rebirth.

Does that sound like a logical justice system? Or would it make more sense for the perpetrator to suffer or enjoy the consequences of each of his/her actions – no matter whether this birth or the next?

Food for thought.

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Sacrificial – part 4

A final post for now on yagna or sacrifice. We saw some of the 12 different types of sacrifice mentioned in the Gita yesterday. Those are all nice no doubt, but the focus must be on the last one, the brahma yagna. The giving up of the ego, the self.

It does not mean just getting up and jumping into the fire. That would be quite useless in reality, as the heat would be too much to take, the burns fatal, and once dead, of what use is all this spirituality? Rather it is all about giving up at the mind level.

This last yagna is so awesome that it is better than any and all of the previous yagnas. One question though here could be – fine, I’ll do some of these sacrifices. Like I’ll give up some good of my liking. There, sacrifice done, now what?

As Swami Paramarthananda puts it, real yagnas need two conditions to be satisfied, otherwise they simply remain physical acts / exercises.
1. The first condition is that it needs the Lord (i.e, bhakti or devotion, maybe faith).
2. The second condition is that it needs a spiritual motive. Otherwise it would just become a material transaction.

Speaking of yagnas – here is an excellent fire homa that anyone can do.

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Sacrificial – part 3

Chapter 4 in the Gita is called Karma Sanyaasa Yoga, and talks of a variety of yagnas or sacrifices, as we’ve seen in the last couple of days.

The list of yagnas is beautiful, mesmerizing and sequenced to perfection.

It starts with physical items. Things like ghee, coconuts and other things one would normally offer into a fire ritual. But those are the easy ones.

Next come giving up the sense organs. What does this mean? Cut off my ears and put it into the fire? Certainly not :). Rather it is attachment to these organs and their perceptions that needs to be given up. What? How can I give up my organs. Seems illogical, until we come to terms with the scriptural end-game. Which is that all creation around us is simply maya, and all the sense organs are doing for us, is to bind us more to this world.

A question that is relevant here is – which part of all this is truly ours? All the money and material possessions we have – in some shape or form belong to the earth. We have maybe taken it, and processed it and converted it, but not truly created anything. If none of this is ours in the first place, what can we really sacrifice?

Oh yes, there is only one thing that is wholly solely ours. And it is called the Ego.

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Sacrificial – part 2

Yagna as we know and saw yesterday, refers to sacrifice. The word and its associated action might seem simplistic. But it has the most profound effect of them all – the unbinding of karma!

The first word of verse 3 in chapter 9 of the Gita is Yagna.

yajñārthāt karmaṇo ’nyatra loko ’yaṁ karma-bandhanaḥ
tad-arthaṁ karma kaunteya mukta-saṅgaḥ samāchara

Here is my Guru’s interpretation of this verse. “Man becomes bound by all actions, other than that done as sacrifice. Without being attached, you perform actions for Him.”

Worried about accruing karma for your actions? The simplest solution is here – do all work as a sacrifice to the Lord.

Guruji further adds in the purport thus, (with my musings in brackets):
1. This verse sums up karma yoga. (wow, entire karma yoga summarized in this one verse, what more do we need?)
2. All actions, good or bad, bind us to enjoy or suffer, this birth or next. (we know this, having seen karma in detail)
3. The only exception, is action done as sacrifice. This is how to come out of cycle of birth and death. (here is the solution to all our problems – but are we able to practise it?)

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Sacrificial

The word sacrifice in Sanskrit would be yagna. It’s a very important concept and is repeated multiple times throughout the Gita. Krishna also mentions that those who practice yagna, daana and tapa (sacrifice, charity and austerity) are dear to Him).

If we give something to someone, and get something in exchange, that is a transaction.

But if we give something to someone purely for the other person’s well-being, and expect nothing in return, that would be a sacrifice.

There are 5 types of maha yagnas prescribed in the scriptures. How do we practise these?

  1. Deva Yajna – for the Gods (sun, moon etc). We can pray with gratitude for the presence of all the deities around us.
  2. Pitri Yajna – for our forefathers and ancestors. We are here because of them. Tarpana is good to do where possible.
  3. Manushya Yajna – for our fellow humans. Being charitable, compassionate, loving and kind would be a great start.
  4. Bhoota Yajna – for the other living creatures. Feeding the animals, providing shelter for them.
  5. Brahma Yajna – for the soul inside us. Attending satsang, applying scriptural knowledge, attaining moksha.
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Terminal

Social media platforms are often used in funny ways. Facebook and Instagram are no more places to talk about one’s own life – rather it has become a place to sell one’s wares (and very effectively too sometimes). Linkedin is more about sharing one’s personal life than professional life. Twitter was supposed to be for short messages, but I’ve seen ‘threads’ with 100s of posts too.

The first post on my Linkedin feed today morning was another personal one. It was a tragic post. After seeing countless profiles on Linkedin of people who had succumbed to Covid after being tagged posthumously by their friends, this one was different.

This man posted that he only had a few more months to live – having been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He said with utmost gratitude that he’s enjoyed his life of 60+ years and that he’d had no regrets and that this would be his last post.

The comments that followed had people sympathising with him – that their future would be different without him, and that he should live his best life going forward etc. Given how unpredictable life is, these commenters assume that they will be around longer than him. Not a bad assumption to make – but it’s an assumption nevertheless. What if it weren’t true. Would we live our lives any differently? It’s fashionable to say ‘yes’. But if ‘yes’, then why aren’t we living that different life already?

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On paper

Here’s a trend I’ve been seeing. Having sat in on a few interviews for various roles, candidates of various types and thought processes have come through the door.

Many candidates are just amazing on paper. Tech skills, coding skills, math skills, legal skills, business skills – and plenty of certificate courses – you name it, and they’ve got it.

But interpersonal skills? Not a degree of an online course on “Negotiation 101”. But real-world interpersonal skills. Knowing when to speak and when to shut up. Harsh? Yes maybe, but extremely crucial too.

The higher one climbs in an organization, the more the work becomes about ‘getting the work done’ than ‘actually doing the work’. It’s physically impossible for just one senior employee to do all the work. And if it is, then it’s probably inefficient because it hasn’t scaled to potential.

And the higher one climbs up, the more one needs soft skills. Somewhat unintuitively, even to climb up the ladder, one needs soft skills.

Many interviews I’ve seen have ended with the interviewers talking amongst themselves thus, “Great skills… but, terrible attitude, and that’s a big enough ‘but’ to not move forward.

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Growing up

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

An innocuous question. with a range of possible answers.

For very young kids, immediate answers are postman, truck driver, ice-cream van driver or garbage truck driver.

The older ones will link this to some level of so-called professionalism – lawyer, doctor, engineer, scientist etc.

There are other specializations too – which do matter of course.

But the best answers to the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” are these:

Generous, patient, loving, kind, polite, dependable, responsible.

Agree?

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Conversion test

We know that we must curb our desires. Because desires are like itches. The more we scratch them, the more they itch.

So we must then reduce our desires. But can we really reduce them all the way to zero?

How can we live our lives if we have no desires at all? There are two ways, one advanced, and the other super-advanced 🙂

  1. Here’s the advanced way – shubhecha = shubh + iccha = good desires. Desiring good for the country, for society, for others, for family, for the greater good.
  2. And here’s the super advanced way – Leaving all desires to the will of the Guru / God.

However, for most of us, desires will still be part and parcel of our daily lives. Here’s a quick tip. Try and see if the desire can be converted into a duty. If it can, then it is probably a good desire, and worth keeping.

Examples? Wanting to shop every weekend at a mall for luxury items. Desire? Indeed. Can it be converted into a duty? Not really. However, wanting to ensure the kids in your neighbourhood get a good education, and so you desire to organize weekly classes for them. Desire? Yes. Can it be converted into a duty? Most certainly, and your society will thank you for it.

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Single-tasking

Have you ever seen a job description that asks you to work only on a single task? If you have, then please forward it to me so that I can apply 😂.

In this book I’m reading called Beyond the Alphas, the author mentions that the average worker makes between 10,000 and 40,000 decisions – every day!

This is just insane. Apparently we also switch between tasks no less than 300 times a day. For all this talk and requirement for multitasking – is this something that is really even possible? Can I read a book and play a video game, at the very same time? Or can I have a deep conversation with my spouse while also watching TV? That second one I don’t even want to attempt!

Multitasking is only done by computers, that can really run multiple processes in parallel. And when we have computers doing all that work, why should we? Computers don’t get tensed or anxious or stressed, but we certainly do.

That’s why it might be a good idea, to get back to single-tasking, at least on the weekends. To spend 3 hours reading a book, and nothing else. Or an hour of deep conversation, and nothing else. A few hours playing with the kids, and nothing else. Including no phones, tablets or other screens for distraction. Let’s try it out!

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Placebo

We know the placebo effect. For those who are sick, sometimes even just pills that have nothing in them seems to do the trick.

The recent vaccination drives for Covid also has led people to talk about this. “I had no side effects whatsoever. Maybe I was just given saline, who knows, haha.”

There are many other placebos in life too.

Like the presence of a mother for her baby. The baby crawls a few steps ahead, and then turns back to check if the mom is looking. And then crawls forward again. The crawling is done by the baby only, not the mommy.

Keeping the light on, for someone afraid of the dark, is a similar example. What lurks in the dark would lurk in the light too. But the light gives comfort.

On calls, sometimes we can’t hear the other side clearly. And we let them know. And the other party after 5 seconds says, “Is it better now?”, without having done a thing.

Placebos abound, and they are good. Especially from a mental health point of view. Sometimes, many times, we cannot be of any real help. But just being there, even as a statue, if someone really needs us, that passive presence can make all the difference in the world to them.

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Chicken or egg

There’s often a question in my mind. Which comes first. No, not chicken or egg. That nobody knows. But another question.

All of the uber-successful people in the world – and mind you this is a very tiny minority – do not care what the world thinks of them.

For everyone else, their lives are dictated almost entirely by what they think others think of them. What house to live in, what school to send the kids to, what education to pursue, what kind of person to marry, what kind of job to do, what kind of places to travel to, what hobbies to keep and on and on.

But the successful fellas? They couldn’t care less. They only care about what they themselves think, what they feel is right. This comes at a cost, i.e. hearing a lot of no’s, a lot of nays, a lot of opposition and a lot of critiques. They live largely by their own rules.

The way many people rationalize this is – “Hey, that guy is rich, really really rich, so of course he can live by his own rules, and do whatever the heck he wants.”

Which is true to an extent. But the chicken or egg question is – “Did he get rich and can hence live by his own rules? Or did he live by his own rules, and hence got rich?”

What do you think?

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Coochie

Under the same roof:

If one coochie-coos with a baby, and the baby likes it, onlookers may say the baby loves that person.

If one coochie-coos with a baby, and the baby likes it, onlookers may say the person loves that baby.

If one coochie-coos with a baby, and the baby likes it, onlookers may say the baby is getting attached to that person.

If one coochie-coos with a baby, and the baby likes it, onlookers may say the person is getting too attached to the baby.

No matter what one does, someone will not like the coochie cooing. Oh what a mess only.

Think this is a mess? Ask the family that just lost its babies, or mommies, or other love-givers.

Adult humans are wired to find fault. Only not in themselves.

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Securing the crown – part 4

There’s an amazing episode surrounding the moon landing of 1969. His Royal Highness Prince Phillip the Duke of Edinburg was lost in his life – directionless as it were. The outside world it seemed was doing great things, making great strides – while all he did, was go from place to place – making speech after speech, which no one could care less about.

Just as the moon landing caught the world’s imagination at the time, so too it did of Prince Phillip. He not only watched and read countless times the footage and reports of the astronauts and their mission, but he also sought out a 15 minute audience with Neil Armstrong and his two co-pilots. His quest – to understand how they truly felt, as they carried out what was probably the most ambitious and significant journey in human history.

On meeting the 3 young men, he is filled with awe, and eagerly asks them about what their thoughts were as they descended on the surface of the moon, and how they felt when they looked at their blue home 380,000 km away. Their response?

They were just process driven. Men on a mission. Hundreds of checklists to ensure everything was working to perfection. No time to smell the proverbial roses, or maybe moon dust. No time to think even. They don’t even begin to understand the essence of the Prince’s questions. They in fact counter-question him thus, “Sir you are so lucky, how does it feel to live in a palace of a 1000 rooms, live with the queen, have so many royal dinners and meetings, and live such a meaningful life?”

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Securing the crown – part 3

Do we think that money can buy us everything? It might certainly seem so. And not just money – what if you had power as well, and status? And servants at your beck and call. Also media people tracking your every move. A true celebrity. And on top of this all, you don’t need to work at all. Not a single day of your life. Yes, that’s right – no work at all!

Too good to be true you say?

This was the exact problem facing Princess Margaret as beautifully captured in the Netflix series The Crown. She’s of royal blood, has an entourage of obsequious ministers, servants and attendants one can only imagine and never has to worry about money. The only mistake she made? Being born second in-line, not first. Her elder sister, Queen Elizabeth II, became Queen (duh!).

In some wonderful dialogue exchanges, Princess Margaret is actually seen beseeching her elder sister for more work – for more representation. “I have everything, but I have nothing to do, nowhere to go!”

So to those of us who believe that having all the material pleasures of the world is the endgame, we must rethink whether that will be enough. It might quell our fantasies for today, but will it quell our mind of tomorrow?

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Securing the crown – part 2

We all speak about happiness. Because we all want it. And we’re perennially looking for it – high and low.

And it’s relative too. What does that mean? Queen Elizabeth played by a brilliant Claire Foy in The Crown shares her take on… unhappiness, not happiness.

And what a lovely line it is.

That's the thing about unhappiness. All it takes is for something worse to come along and you realize what you were experiencing was actually happiness after all.

Much like man’s search for heaven up there in the skies. When he dies here on earth and goes up, God asks him, “So, how did you like your stay on heaven?”

We already have everything, if we choose to look within. If we stubbornly look outside only, constantly comparing and recognizing apparent gaps and holes, then we will be left with nothing. Years later, maybe we will realize that that state too was actually happiness – but it may be too late to realize it.

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Securing the crown

There is an amazing scene in the Netflix drama The Crown, which is based on Queen Elizabeth’s life. No spoilers ahead, I think 🙂

In season 2 episode 8, when John F Kennedy travels to the UK, they meet the Queen and her husband. It’s not just the Queen who’s the lead female though. More than JFK, it is Mrs. Kennedy that has got everyone’s heads turning. Smart, charming, beautiful, dazzling, intelligent, a brilliant conversationalist – on and on her admirers go. So much so that even the Queen’s husband is desperate to get a seat near Mrs. K at the lavish dinner table.

But the (dinner) tables do turn, and make for provoking thought. The Queen is extremely uncomfortable. Why? Because she feels threatened by her adversary. Although she’s not really even her adversary is she? One is the Queen of Great Britain, the other a First Lady of another country. And for crying out loud, she is the Queen! She has everything and more anyone could ever ask for. There ought not to be any comparison at all!

Therein lies the catch. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you have – even if you are the proverbial (or literal) Queen of England. If there is something you do not have however, and if someone else has it, then that immediately takes the Crown (figuratively only :)). What Mrs. K had, the Queen lacked, or so she thought, and the power of insecurity rises to the fore in some wonderful acting. What the Queen doesn’t realize at the time, is that Mrs. K too has her own share of insecurities. Wow, the two most powerful women in the world back in the 1960s, had so many insecurities…

This is not to poke fun – no, not at all. But just a reminder, that deep down, we are all human, and suffer the same human biases. If we can control the mind, that is much better than having a head with a crown on it.

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Blinded by

There is a medical condition called Anton’s Blindness. It is a real thing. But those affected by it, do not believe it. They think they can see perfectly well. But they cannot, and so when they walk or move around, they bump into objects they cannot see and often hurt themselves.

This sounds exactly like what my Guru would think of me. “Blind fellow, bumping around in the world from one problem to another, and constantly hurting himself. If only he would accept that he doesn’t see the Truth. The Real Truth. That Consciousness that powers everything. And then this acceptance may bring him some solutions. But alas. He is blinded by ignorance, anger, jealousy, greed – you name it. And he seems to enjoy this state of blindness too. What a pity.”

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Angrrr – part 6

Okay okay, last one on anger, I promise! Thought it would be good to round it up with what Thiruvalluvar says about this subject in his Kurals.

A few gems are below:

  1. From anger is born all evil.
  2. Everyone knows that it is bad for oneself to lose temper in dealing with superiors. But where anger is directed against persons in one’s power, it is the worst of all offences.
  3. Where anger may or may not hurt the other party, it simply causes pain to oneself.
  4. Can there be any greater enemy to mankind than anger – which kills laughter and joy (which indeed are the greatest blessings on earth?)

Bonus tips from my Guru on how to overcome anger:
1. Visualize that you are anger-free, say 2 years from now. Keep visualizing and living that image.
2. Pray, for the person you are angry with. Keep their photo on your altar. This is about changing yourself and your emotions and perception, not the other person.

Radical? 🙂

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Angrrr – part 5

Why so much anger? Part 1 2 3 4 and now 5! Maybe because it’s a question that gets asked and discussed so much. And the solutions all require hard work, effort and patience.

But once managed, it can be the most amazing experience.

And lessening of anger is probably one of those sure-fire ways to tell yourself that you are making progress on the spiritual path.

There are two very important points when it comes to anger that I always try to keep in mind.

  1. The trigger for anger might be outside, but the emotion is entirely within us, on the inside. For the same situation, different people elicit different responses, and that means a very angry person can also learn to become less angry and eventually never angry.
  2. The quickest fix for anger is gratitude, even though it might seem unrelated. If you get angry at your parent or child or sibling for something they did, turn that around, i.e. be grateful for the fact that you even have a parent, child or sibling. So many people would give an arm and a leg to be in that position!

Concluded tomorrow…

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Angrrr – part 4

The Gita has two shlokas in chapter 2, viz 2.62 and 2.63 which are known as anger management shlokas.

2.62 states “The wo/man dwelling on sense objects, develops attachment. From attachment springs desire, and from desire (unfulfilled), anger.”

How amazing is this? A step by step deconstruction of anger.

2.63 states “From anger arises delusion, from delusion comes confusion of memory, from that loss of reason, then complete ruin.”

Here’s how my Guru has summarized this in his Amazing Simple Gita purport. “With thoughts come desires. with unfulfilled desire anger ensures, eventually ruin.”

Let’s consider this outstanding perspective. If someone gets angry at us (like a superior at work, or a family member), we think the world has come to an end for us, and that we are scarred for life. But no – the Gita says here that the person who gets angry is the one that will face eventual ruin! So should we really be thinking about what somebody many years ago told us in a fit of rage? Why re-live those bygone words and days today and everyday over and over again? As long as we ourselves do not get angry, we are golden. That should be our goal.

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Angrrr – part 3

Why do we get angry? Because we do not get what we want, or what we think we want. Maybe we want appreciation, but the boss says something else.

People can and will offer us their words, opinions and points of view – and often unsolicited, and at the most inopportune moments. You’re just embarking on a family vacation after ages, and then you get that dreaded call from your CEO. Or you have done some really good work for your society, only to find that you are being badmouthed by certain elements. You want the best for your relatives, but they just choose to ignore your true intentions. Of course these can make you angry – anyone angry. But it can hurt us only if we let it first land in our hearts and minds.

When we were kids, and another kid snatched our favourite toy, we would get so upset. Today, when a kid snatches your son or grandson’s toy (even if the same favourite toy), it doesn’t upset us anymore. We’ve outgrown that stage. There is no attachment to the toy anymore.

Herein lies a solution. If we are over-focused on only one aspect of life, and have no other interests, hobbies, activities etc., then we would find it very hard to take our minds off of something not going right in that one-and-only aspect. But why not diversify? More tomorrow…

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Angrrr – part 2

Continuing from yesterday’s post on anger management. Let’s look at the same example again.

We easily get angry at home, with our loved ones, and often burst out. But when speaking with a superior at work? No matter the insult, we are able to take it in our stride, even if it stings badly. Is our boss really more important than our family?

It is not about getting paid or not getting paid, or whether the other person is a loved one or you care for each other or not. It is simply about taking the other person for granted.

We know at home, that if we get angry and create a scene, the same family members will not throw us out. We have taken them for granted.

But in the office? Raise your voice, and you may never get a raise again or even lose your job. We know the consequences, and are hence able to shut up, despite some rage beginning to boil inside.

Is this justified? More tomorrow…

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Angrrr

Here’s a thought on anger management. Many people believe they cannot stop being angry. However, when they scrutinize their own lives, they will realize that in front of their own family at home, they quickly fly off the handle every now and then. However the very same person, in front of his/her boss or an even higher superior – manages to stay calm, gritting and grinding their teeth, often in far worse circumstances than those presented at home.

One argument is that in the workplace, we are paid a salary, and a part of that goes towards handling such bouts of anger. That may be true to some extent. But imagine being put in front of the leader of your district / state / country / someone you respect. Of course you would not lose your temper in front of them – even though there is no payment!

The argument supporting anger-towards-one’s-family goes, “But hey they are my loved ones, and it’s only because I care so much that I get angry with them!” But think about it – if you truly loved them, why would you lose your temper on them? Would we want anyone to lose their temper on us? Also, if a cute little 3 month old baby pees or poops on us, do we lose our temper and beat the child up?

The Gita states definitively that anger comes from unfulfilled desire which in turn springs from attachment. The question is not about whether there is more anger when dealing with loved ones versus less when faced with others. If we can control anger in one case, surely we can control it in the other? The focus of all our scriptures and of spirituality itself, is always us – we ourselves. Of an internal transformation, not by chance, but by deliberate choice.

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Middleman

There are so many messengers. So many intermediaries. So many so-called postmen.

Take the case of a delivery person from Dominos, Swiggy, Zomato or Grab. They take food from restaurant A to person A, and then restaurant B to person B and then restaurant C to person C. They carry the food with them, piping hot, tasty pizza, or lovely creamy pasta, or some tantalizingly cold ice cream sundaes. So yummy for the tummy. However, it is not for his tummy – for he is only the carrier, the messenger.

The same goes for a postman. He can carry letters of love and romance and adventure and delight. But none of them are addressed to him.

Likewise for the private secretaries of the king or queen. They may know all the intricate details, but cannot truly experience what their masters revel in.

This is the case for every single messenger there is – whether at home or at work or in politics or in society.

But there is one exception. And that is the Guru. He is the messenger of God, yes. But he is also completely dunked in the Bliss that is Consciousness, and therefore that makes him simultaneously both God and Carrier. Teacher and Creator. The Guru is the only one, who delivers the package as brand new, well after enjoying its contents. If such a messenger exists in our lives, we would do well to take in his message.

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AMP it up

Many of us think that money is a great motivator. It might well be, but when we think of money, we are usually thinking of our monthly salaries and quarterly or yearly bonuses. Maybe a 10% or 20% hike if things go well – somehow beat inflation, and keep the head above water. This should sufficiently keep us engaged and motivated at work shouldn’t it? But, does it? Don’t we all still have Monday morning blues?

In the 1970s, a psychologist ran an experiment requiring students to solve math puzzles. He paid some of them, and didn’t pay the others. Interestingly, he found that those who got paid actually showed lesser interest in solving their puzzles than those who didn’t get paid. Wow – what an unexpected outcome. This work brought to the fore the differences between extrinsic motivation (such as by money) and intrinsic motivation.

Daniel Pink in his book Drive mentions the 3 ingredients to intrinsic motivation:
1. Autonomy – this is what entrepreneurs love – doing what they want, not what someone else tells them to
2. Mastery – Being an expert in the chosen field
3. Purpose – Caring about the outcome means we will spring out of bed even on a Monday morning

Ideally, every workplace or employer should maximize opportunities for their employees’ A, M and P. But we know that rarely happens. Apart from gifting your boss and HR head a copy of this book, what else can we do? We can AMP it up on our own – to the extent possible. For instance, we can volunteer to take up mini-projects on our own, find niches to build skills in, and also attach a larger outcome to our work. Eventually, we may find that some amazing opportunities will find us. But we need to take the first step.

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ABCD work

Here’s a cool little snippet that popped up in my LinkedIn feed a few days ago. It was about how to prioritize things at work. Not that we need to take it too seriously, but the importance of prioritizing itself cannot be overemphasized.

The ABCD principle is Hindi-based and goes thus:

A – Apna kaam, i.e. one’s own work
B – Boss ka kaam, i.e. the boss’ work
C – Company ka kaam, i.e. the company’s work
D – Dusro ka kaam, i.e. other people’s work

Similar to “please put your own oxygen mask first before assisting others”, here too, first do your work, before trying to do great things for others. Of course, nothing is applicable 100% of the times, but this is certainly a good thumb rule to keep in mind.

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Doing the dishes

Here’s an example of applying learnings from spirituality to the real world.

You have a maid for cleaning utensils. You pay her a salary. You pay her even if she doesn’t come for a few days, like when she took time off to go back to her ancestral home, or when there was a lockdown etc. You also pay her kids’ school fees, and often buy chocolates for them. She knows you are a good person.

One day you need to go out urgently, maybe to the hospital or some such. It’s unavoidable, and so you ring up the maid and request her to come in earlier, only for today, and only by a couple of hours. She replies with some excuse (like she has to cook food at her home) and hence cannot come.

It’s easy to get angry at this point – even if only internally. “I’ve done so much for this maid, and the one day when I have an urgency, she can’t make it?” That she cannot come, is a fact. But how we react to the situation is not yet so, and entirely in our control. We could get angry and spoil the mood of the entire home for the day. Or we could don the kitchen gloves, put on our earphones and listen to music or a podcast while doing the dishes. Two birds with one stone. The solution is in our own hands.

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NWL

In the amazing Netflix show The Crown, there’s an interesting scene. The show itself chronicles Queen Elizabeth’s life and her ascension to the throne at a relatively young age. I don’t know if that’s what the entire show is about – we’re only on season 1, and there are three more to go at least. But soon after her coronation, her mother (now the ex-queen Mary) feels quite suffocated and heads off to Scotland to be with some friends and to get some air (riding horses by the seaside, hiking in amazingly scenic landscapes, you get the drift). In this particular scene, the ex-Queen is asked by her friends, “Has it been very difficult?” To which she replies thus:

"I don't want to sound self-piteous but loss has followed loss. First and foremost, the loss of a husband.
Then the loss of a home, having to leave the palace. The loss of motherhood, as daughters become adults.
Loss of a routine, a sense of purpose. The loss of a Crown. Imagine, 17 years' experience as Queen and being the head of the family. Bertie was a wonderful husband and father, but he needed a great deal of help as King.
And then we lose him and, at precisely the moment when they should be giving me more to do, stop me falling into despair, they take it all away... They put it all into the hands of a girl who's totally unequipped for it."

If this were to be on Twitter, people would tag it as #firstworldproblems. Of course, a bereavement is never easy. But it also shows that power – especially got from position – is impossible to let go of. What she went through, every human being must go through as they age – whether queen or not. It begs the question – do we even realize when our needs becomes wants, and our wants become luxuries?

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Attitude platitude – part 4

My Guru’s brilliant notes on the ‘importance of right attitude’, continues and concludes below:

5. Start the day and end the day with positive input into your mind. Inspirational messages cause the brain to flood with dopamine and norepinephrine, the energizing neurotransmitters; with endorphins - the endurance neurotransmitters; and with serotonin, the feel-good-about-yourself neurotransmitter.

6. Begin and end the day by reading or doing something positive.

7. Remember, success is a process, not an event.

8. Invest your time in your attitude, and it will pay off in your skills as well as your career. Think about it...

What a brilliant note written by the Guru isn’t it? We are all hankering after skills. But hankering after the ‘right attitude’ instead will in turn bring skills, luck, success, fame, fortune and whatever else one desires!

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Attitude platitude – part 3

Continuing again, my Guru’s typewritten message on the importance of the right attitude.

3. Read something informational or inspirational every day. Reading for 20 minutes at just 240 words per minute will enable you to read twenty 200-page books each year. That is 18 more than what the average person reads! What an enormous competitive advantage ... if you'll just read for 20 minutes a day.

4. The University of Southern California reveals that you can acquire the equivalent of two years of a college education in three years just by listening to motivating and educational cassettes on your way to your job, and again on the way home. What could be easier?

A 2021 reference for point 4 above – we can replace ‘cassettes’ with ‘podcasts’. Many are yet to discover the amazing power of podcasts – but all you need to do is download any podcast player app from your app-store, and then search for and add your favourite channels / topics. It is like having the most successful people on earth talking to you in your ear, as you go about doing your housework or other activities.

Sorry for the digression. Continued (and concluded) tomorrow…

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Attitude platitude – part 2

Continuing from yesterday, my Guru’s typewritten message on the importance of the right attitude.

Perhaps if more people knew how simple it is to develop and maintain a positive attitude, they would invest more time doing so.

So here we go. Five steps to staying positive in a negative world:

1. Understand that failure is an event, it is not a person. Yesterday ended last night; today is a brand new day, and it's yours. You were born to win. But to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and then you can expect to win.

2. Become a lifetime student. Learn just one new word ever day, and in five years you will be able to talk with just about anybody on anything. When your vocabulary improves, your IQ goes up 100% of the time, according to Georgetown Medical School.

Continued tomorrow…

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Attitude platitude

Here are a series of posts which will simply cover what my Guru had written in a single typewritten note a few decades ago. It is so fine in its choice of words and intent, that any modifications I make to it will only worsen it. So here it is, with no further ado:

Harvard and Stanford Universities have reported that 85% the reason a person gets a job and gets ahead in that job is due to attitude; and only 15% is because of technical or specific skills. Interesting, isn't it?

You spent how much money on your education? And you spent how much money on building your positive attitude? Ouch! That hurts.

Now here's an interesting thought. With the 'right' attitude, you can and will develop the necessary skills. So where is your emphasis? On skill building? Or on attitude building?

Unfortunately, 'neither' is the real answer for many people.

Continued tomorrow…

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Standing tall

As a boy, one of the important things as you’d grow up to becoming an adult is your height. The magic 6-feet number is an elusive one for many, maybe most. It’s cool to be tall, you can see above most others in the room, and perhaps even be spotted by the ladies, head above the rest and all. But height is not what one has under their control. You can hang from pull-up bars, but there is no guarantee!

Over time, these views change.

You realize that being physically tall is irrelevant – but one is as tall as the problems they have overcome.

One’s actual figure on the weighing scale doesn’t matter much, but one’s influence in life – amongst their colleagues, peers, friends and family is what counts.

The fairness of the skin is not important, but one’s moral code, impartiality and treating everyone around them fairly is what could be a real differentiator in this world.

The strength of the muscles in the body is a good sign of physical health, but far more important perhaps is the strength of the mind – which would help one dominate fear, failure and self-doubt.

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Not just a librarian

We learn and discuss much about giving and its importance. Yet we may be gnawed by doubt at the time of the act. Are we giving away too much? Does the recipient really deserve my generosity? What if s/he uses it for the wrong reasons? What if they turn out to be a fake, a hoax amongst hoaxes?

Meet Mr Palam Kalyanasundaram from South India. Probably around 75 years old now, he worked as a librarian for 30 years, and donated every single rupee he earned from it to charity. 100% of his income – wow what a feat. How did he sustain himself? By waiting tables at a nearby restaurant, and doing other odd jobs.

He was awarded the title of Man of the Millennium by the USA, being the first person in the world to give away his entire earnings for social causes, and given a gift of INR 300 mn. All the money was of course immediately donated to orphanages and to children’s educational funds. He had earned INR 1 mn as pension, which too he donated to the needy.

Mr Kalyanasundaram in an interview has said that there is nothing in this world that is more fulfilling or brings more happiness than donating one’s own hard earned income to charity. When he can do 100%, despite not being a billionaire or millionaire, surely we can do 10%?

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Critiques

Author Dale Carnegie of the bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People says “Criticize in private, but praise in public.” We saw this nearly a year ago here.

It might seem like obvious advice, but do not be fooled by its simplicity. Just recently, I was part of a call, which had one senior person pulling up several others for something not done by them. The big boss of many of those being picked on was also present on the call.

To be sure, the person pointing the finger was by no means wrong – he had his facts straight – the accused had been tardy, they had not done their work well, they had not informed their superiors about gaps in the information and so on.

But did any of that matter? Not one bit. The call quickly morphed into a verbal brawl, with people supporting themselves, and proving why they were right and then heaping accusations back and forth. Could have just had some nice popcorn on the side and …

But really, it is so hard to put this advice into practise I suppose. It might seem like it takes longer to have 1-on-1 calls with five people rather than just lambaste 5 people on one call. But the negative effects of that one badly organized call can be far worse, as was the case. Preferably, never criticize at all, but if it must be done, then it can be done with empathy, in private, with examples from one’s own life as well, and also leading by example. That would be true leadership.

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Quattro-manageria

According to Harvard Business Review, there are 4 types of Managers. These are Teacher, Cheerleader, Always-on and Connector.

Without knowing anything about these except their names, I’d have thought either the cheerleader or the teacher would be the best. Why? Because the cheerleader manager probably cheers you on, encourages you and appreciates your work. Great way to be motivated and move ahead don’t you think? While the teacher manager might be there to teach you whatever you need to know, and help in your learning process.

The definition of an always-on manager is one who available at any time for questions, feedback or even to just listen. But apparently it’s the connector manager who is the best of all the four.

The connector manager helps by making the most of his/her network – whether with another team member, partner, customer, friend etc. in order to expand the spectrum of teachers you have at your disposal. This is because such a manager realizes it’s impossible for one person to know everything.

The outcome? Apparently connector managers build the strongest, most effective teams, tripling the likelihood that direct reports will be high performers and boost employee engagement by 40%. Pretty impressive!

My takeaway is to try and live the life of a connector-manager for the benefit of everyone around me – irrespective of whether I manage a team at work or not. What do you think? How will you implement this? All suggestions welcome.

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Bubble territory

The financial markets have gone crazy, is the view that many people share today. Excesses of all kinds have made their way to the fore. Bubbles and manias are in the pink-paper headlines often.

The base is always strong. It’s what piles up, that can be…way off. Say a company worth $100, has a 100 shares each worth 1$, and 99 of these do not trade. But that 1 remaining share that does trade, has now found a new buyer. That buyer is willing to pay 50$, for just that one share. You know the new value of the company now? Even though only that 1 new share was traded at $50, all the 100 shares are now implied to be worth $50 as well. This makes the value of the entire company = $50 x 100 shares = $5,000! All because of one trade. The same is true on the downside too. If just the one share was exchanged at $0.5, the company would be valued at $0.5 x 100 shares = $50. This is how extremes get created in the market. A few crazy trades, and suddenly the tide of sentiment has seen a tectonic shift.

It’s not too different with human beings. We too have a solid base. But we let the most recent events – like someone shouting at us, or not believing us, or our inability to clear an exam or such – to define our whole lives. These stray incidents should be seen exactly as that – one-offs. But we extrapolate this to our entire existence, and go into insane levels of depression and anxiety. The opposite is true as well, as we may extrapolate some recent success and take it to the moon, with no ego in check.

We are a sum total of all our life experiences, not just the ones we came across today or yesterday. This is good to keep in mind, so that our moods are always cheerful, and balanced.

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Need more prep

Generally when we invite a guest speaker over to the youth satsangs, we just share the topic and the date/time and then they are good to go.

A recent speaker we invited though, wanted to know a lot more of the details. How many attendees? What age group? What topics were already covered? What is the agenda? What is the exact sequence of the agenda? Many more questions…and then he also asked for past recordings of the sessions!

It immediately reminded me of an incident with Swami Chinmayananda. Once Swami ji’s flight got delayed by a few hours. His disciples there quickly gathered around him and requested him to give a talk. You know what Swami Chinmayananda said? He said, “I’m sorry, but I’m not prepared, and so I cannot give a talk now.”

He said he was not prepared! Can you believe it? The great Swami Chinmayananda, who has given thousands if not tens of thousands of talks – was saying that he was not prepared!

This is a shining example of his humility, preparedness, diligence and respect for the audience – especially in today’s world, where for most people, once they open their mouth, it’s impossible to shut them up. And their speech is often neither relevant, beneficial or even true!

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Spirituality doubts

Here are two simple questions (and answers of course) that can sometimes occur to anyone on the spiritual path.

  1. On the one hand, I’m expected to be spiritual, attain liberation etc. On the other, I’m expected to carry on my duties in my materialistic life? How can I reconcile both of these?

    As my Guru says, we are all filled with so much of rajasik guna that we cannot just relinquish everything, don ochre robes and sit in meditation forever. Instead, we are so much in love with the world around us (maya though it may be) that we leave ourselves no choice but to play in it. The way out (as Krishna told Arjuna as well) is to channelize that rajas in the use of greater good, maximum benefit for maximum people. This will break the cycle of selfish desires and actions, and eventually convert rajasik to sattvik. To summarize, doing one’s duty in life selflessly, will lead to spiritual evolution.
  2. The world is fleeting. Can I really make any changes to it? I’m anyway going to die. How does it matter?

    It is very easy to be fatalistic. But all our scriptures caution against exactly this. Just like a honeybee is not wired to roar like a lion, we too are not wired to be in this world without acting or doing something, i.e. we are not 100% sattvik and meditative by nature. Since we any way have to act in the world, why not do a good job of it, helping the greatest number of people? Certainly possible.
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Bed on it

There are some that don’t get sleep until their bodies hit the plush pillows and comfy quilts of a 5-star hotel.

But some have to make do with 3-star hotel arrangements.

Some sleep under the moonlight, on bamboo cots, maybe with mosquito nets.

Many sleep on the floor in their homes, on just a thin bedsheet.

Those in poverty, sleep under flyovers, with no one to care for them.

Some share beds with two others, oxygen cylinders supplementing their breathing efforts.

Some don’t get ICU beds, despite the criticality.

If we just have a bed at home to sleep peacefully – how unbelievable lucky are we?

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Score backwards

Think of everything you already have in your life. EVERYTHING.

What would you value it at?

Of course you’ve read this blog and many scriptures and the like, so the answer would be 100… out of 10. Well done!

Now think of everything you don’t have, but want.

That promotion, that net worth, that designation, that house, that car, that international vacation, that recognition from others…

What would you value it at? 1,000? 10,000? Maybe more? Isn’t that what we spend our entire days and nights working towards / stressing for?

So everything we have is 100, and everything we want is 10,000. Surely we’ve got this backwards? Why else would anything we obtain incrementally, not add to lasting happiness? Why are we still unhappy? To be pondered over…

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Art of Connecting

Just finished reading an interesting book by Susan McGregor called The Lost Art of Connecting. Indeed this is something most people are struggling with today. Not just because we live in a locked-down world, or an online-over-offline world, but also because we’ve become more and more self-obsessed. So much so that we rarely seek the need to go out and connect with people. Even at the dinner table, most family members connect only with their screens.

Susan’s premise is simple, and similar to what my Guru says about where success comes from. “It is the increased ability to deal with people, and studies have shown that 85% of success can be attributed to this ability, with only the balance 15% being technical education.”

The author suggests that every meeting or discussion with the other person, no matter how important to you, must always be approached with one and only one question in mind – “How can I be of help to that person?” Sounds counterintuitive at first. She says that if this question is answered, it will cement the relationship – because now even though you came in to the meeting for your own business requirement, you now leave with a valuable connection – one that transcends something simply transactional and ephemeral.

No doubt, it will take effort to answer this question – we cant just blaze into any meeting and say “Hey CEO, how can I help you” because we may not have much to help them with in the first place. So this will require thought, leaning on other connections, understanding what the other person really needs/wants etc. Listening is unbelievably important of course – and key to figuring out what others want. Good book, and certainly a refreshing way to think about conversations and relationships!

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Karmic knowledge – part 4

We’ve been discussing karma for a few days now. But given this is such a complex topic, it is worth exploring a bit more. Here’s another interesting example from the Sadhguru book on Karma I mentioned yesterday.

He talks of 5 related examples. In four of them, person A has a knife, and it results in the death of person B. Either the knife hit person B by mistake, or was struck in the heat of the moment, or was a well orchestrated murder and so on. Sadhguru says the karma of person A (knife-wielder) from each of these acts is totally different, even though the end result (death of person B) is the same.

The 5th example he gives does not even involve the killing of person B, but simply the detailed and repeated plotting of person B’s death. According to Sadhguru, the karma accrued in option 5 is far worse than any of the other options. Why? Because he says that it is not the act alone that causes karma, but the level of bitterness and hatred (that person A harbours in his mind), and the fact that the plotting is repeated a million times over. He summarizes by saying that the worst karma is accrued when someone combines negative thought + negative emotion + negative mental action.

What to do then? Simple – always have positive thoughts, and get rid of negative thoughts. And have positive thoughts that are all-inclusive, and not just focused on the three people we love the most (I, me, myself). This way you we not ‘identify’ with our actions – meaning that they are not just self-serving. He concludes decisively, “If your identification were all-inclusive, that would be the end of the karmic cycle.”

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Karmic knowledge – part 3

What then of astrology, free will, destiny etc? Yes, these all exist, and do work – yes even astrology. But it is our own choice whether we wish to be bound by our karma or not.

Even the best of astrologers can only give you an outline of what you are likely to experience in your life at different points. This is a probabilistic science. It is also based on a chart that is drawn up when you are born, based on the place, time and date of birth. It is not re-drawn every day. Since birth, haven’t we each made so many different wide-ranging choices of our free will? Every single day, just the act of getting out of bed is one of free will!

There are indeed some long-standing tendencies / innate habits that have become so entrenched into our lives that we rarely change course. Any one can predict your reactions in such situations – no need for an astrologer, just as your close family members!

Here’s how Sadhguru of Isha puts it in his new book called Karma. “So karma is not some external system of crime and punishment. It is an internal cycle generated by you. These patterns are not oppressing you from without, but from within. Externally, it may be a new day. You may have a new job, a new home, a new life partner, a new baby. You may even be in a new country. But, internally, you are experiencing the same cycles—the same internal oscillations, the same behavioral shifts, the same mental reactions, the same psychological tendencies.”

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Karmic knowledge – part 2

Continuing on from yesterday’s post on Karma – yes if we intend to harm someone, then we get bad karma. Conversely, if our intention is good, then we earn good karma. But what if we don’t intend anything? i.e. our action is unintentional, but has resulted in the other person taking it negatively.

One can only surmise, but here’s a thought experiment. Imagine you are a school teacher. Your intention is to ensure your students learn the most and become the best possible citizens. But let’s say the students have a different goal. They don’t want to study, or even attend class. No matter your good intention, they still harbour irritation and hatred for you. But your intention is still good – so you should ideally get only good karma?

If we step on an ant unknowingly, then will we accumulate bad karma? From the ant’s point of view, it has been a massive wrong-doing. From our point of view, we didn’t do anything at all – except take a step forward! Perhaps if we’d tortured the ant to death, then…

Does this also come back to choices and consequences? If you bite your tongue while eating, there is immediate pain – no matter the biting was unintentional or not. So the consequence of the action exists. But whether one incurs sin or not, is a different matter. The best saints are always mindful of their every action – living never for themselves, but always for all living beings around them. With selfish action and selfish intention out of the way, the spiritual path thus becomes clearer. More tomorrow…

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Karmic knowledge

How exactly does karma work? We know the usual quotes about ‘an eye for an eye’, or ‘action = reaction’ and all that as it relates to our karma. But when we observe the world around us, it rarely seems as though those who deserve something (either good or bad) actually get it.

So what exactly is the formula? How does karma work? Is there really a Chitragupta, sitting with his book and pen recording every single action done by every single creature? Seems unlikely. I’ve been trying to find a book that can explain the exact process. Most books and Gurus wholly accept karmic law – and I do too, it makes sense intuitively. But what are the mechanics behind it? I don’t know.

However, there is one interesting book called The Science of Karma by Dr. Niruben Amin, who has catalogued her Guru Dadashri ji’s teachings. Here are a few of the things mentioned in it:

  1. Karma is not about action – but about intent. I might donate money, but if I’m doing it just to curry favour with someone else, rather than to help the needy, then this is bad karma, not good. Actions are only after-effects.
  2. For bad karma we have just created, we can immediately erase it, simply by begging for forgiveness (and never repeating the act) from whichever God one believes in. This is not a carte-blanche for reckless behaviour, but for genuine repentance.
  3. The intention of giving happiness to others binds good karma, while the intention of hurting others binds bad karma.
  4. Good karma is a shackle made of gold, while bad karma is made of iron. But both are shackles, and prevent liberation.
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Always on

Nowadays with work-from-home it feels like work never ends. No matter how early I start, the day always ends late. And no matter how much I try to squeeze in and make my day productive, the speed at which things get added to the to-do list is always greater than the speed at which things get struck off it.

What to do then?

It helps to think of two things.

  1. At the time of World War 2, the British government came up with a motivational poster / slogan which said “Keep Calm and Carry on”. In my day too, all I need to do is reflect on history. So many such days have passed where I thought I either wouldn’t be able to handle it, or that the world would end if I didn’t get my work done on time (because of lack of time ironically!). Neither has happened – to me, or to you.
  2. “Just do it” from Nike. Iconic. We all know it. Here’s what it means – Forget about the result or the assumptions of your boss’ feedback or anything else. Focus on the work alone, and just do it.

That’s it – two points for mental freedom. We just need to keep GUDUSUNGU-ing, and the rest will fall into place. As they say, overnight success comes after years of hard work and practice.

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Deconstruction

We hear the labourers chattering all day. The flyover near our house. It is getting constructed. It has been like this for two years now.

The daily noise – massive thuds, drilling machines ramming deep into the earth, the sounds of cranes and bulldozers, not to mention – the bright lights and sirens that flash even at 2 am. No matter the day – whether we have an important client call, or a Sunday morning off, or wish to sneak in a meditation session – the din sometimes is unbearable, chaotic and equally unloved by one and all.

But flip this over. These are men and women on a mission. Not to just construct a bridge, but to also construct their lives. Or rather to prevent it from deconstruction. How much can these daily wagers really earn? Hardly enough to make ends meet. And they need to send money back to their families in their villages too?

While we sleep in double glassed sound-proofed air-conditioned high-rises, these folks melt in the sun, puff in the dust, and sleep huddled in reprehensible accommodations. We can only think “When will this bridge get completed, so that my travel time in my luxury car can get cut in half.” They on the other hand, may never get a chance to use this bridge, or maybe only in an overcrowded bus in the sweltering heat. Soon after they are done here, they will be transported to yet another construction site, nearby, far away, who knows. It is always one day at a time.

Why could we not have been born into their place? We very well could have. We just got really lucky. Let us begin our day with gratitude for this fact.

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Giving like this

It is one thing to talk about selflessness and empathy and caring for others etc. While it is something else altogether to put this into practice, especially with irredeemable consequences.

85 year old Narayanrao Dabhadkar was immortalized in the last week of April 2021. Having experienced complications from COVID, his family took him to a nearby hospital. As is perhaps well known, oxygen, beds, remdesevir and other important treatment necessities have been in very short supply in India.

The family of this 85-year old man somehow got an ICU bed after running from pillar to post. But while waiting there, Mr. Narayanrao saw out the window and noted a young lady and her kids wailing and begging the hospital authorities to admit her 40-year old husband who was also infected by COVID and in a very bad state. Narayanrao immediately decided to relinquish his bed, and offered it to the lady. His thought process was, “I have lived a wonderful life to 85, now let the younger ones live.” He went home, no bed, minimal treatment, and passed away a few days later.

Many times we think twice about giving up an object that belongs to us. We don’t want to part with or share our living space, money, food, vehicles, books, cutlery, time and so many other things. This man parted with his life. If there is something to learn about selflessness, compassion and empathy, this is the real-life story that teaches it to me. May he rest in peace.

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Don’t take it personally

One of the mental models that helps me a lot is to classify people into one of 3 buckets:

  1. Giver: The selfless one, always giving
  2. Taker: The selfish one, always taking
  3. Matcher: The middle one, bringing giver and taker together

This might seem simplistic. But look around us, and we will find that people invariably fall into one of these 3 types.

The crazy boss who is happy no matter what we do? Working on Friday night isn’t enough, neither is working on Saturday, or even Sunday. And at the end of it all? “So what, this is your job, you’re expected to pull these hours!” That’s a ‘taker’ for you right there! Givers on the other hand, are awesome to work with. They’ve always got your back. And always want to encourage your growth.

This model is not about categorising other people out of spite. Rather, it is to be able to objectively look at the people and situations we find ourselves with. Plainly put, a taker is likely to remain a taker for life. It’s a deeply integrated part of their personality and psyche. Trying to change that, makes no sense. If we are forced to be with such a person, we can mentally reassure ourselves, that this ‘taker’ is not showing some personal hatred against you. Rather, that’s just the kind of person s/he is. On the flip side, we can seek out more givers and matchers than takers – if we have the freedom and flexibility to!

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Lockdown

“Isolation” and “Quarantine” and “Lockdown”. Three words that have suddenly become commonplace, all thanks to the Covid situation. Most people everywhere seem to be cribbing big time. “I’m so sick of staying at home. Just can’t wait for things to open up. I hate this lockdown business. Can’t even go anywhere. I really miss my vacations and international trips.”

But a change in mindset is necessary. An entitled person may think sitting at home unable to travel for pleasure is bad. But how about those people who are isolated in hospital wards, separated from their loved ones, stuck on a hospital bed amongst hundreds of others, breathing into tubes attached to cylinders, with no indication of when their ordeal would end. Isn’t that infinitely worse? And then there are those that desperately need hospitals / ICUs / beds but these are all full. What of them?

As an Indian army jawan noted on his Linkedin post – “Don’t be scared of isolation. My longest spell was on Siachen glacier, lasting 138 days, with 98 days of intense firing. All 19 of us survived 100s of kilos of TNT. I lost 19 kilos of weight, and took bath after 138 days. The minimum temperature was -50-degrees Celcius.”

What are the rest of us cribbing about? We must be deeply cognizant that anyone stepping out for any reason could be the cause for someone else falling sick or losing a loved one. It is our duty to stay indoors and safe, until all this bad news passes.

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Train for this

There’s a CCTV video recording that you must watch. It’s hardly 30 seconds long.

It shows one of Mumbai’s railway stations. A blind woman and her young son are walking on the platform next to the train tracks. The boy unfortunately falls onto the tracks, and the blind mother is seen to be screaming for help. A train can be seen approaching from the other side.

Mayur Shelkhe, a pointsman at the railway station, comes running at a pace that would make Usain Bolt proud. He reaches the boy, picks him up, shoves him back onto the platform, and then climbs back to safety, with just milliseconds to spare. A moment late, and this would be end-of-story not just for the child, but for him also. I don’t know which quality was more pronounced – his presence of mind, or his selflessness?

Watching the video is like watching a thriller movie – except that this was real life. What I found more thrilling though, was this. Mayur was awarded INR 50,000 (~670 US$) for his bravery. While it is a very small amount to start with, he still proceeded to donate a substantial portion of this amount to the blind lady and her son, in order that she use it for the child’s education.

How awesome is that? So much for me to learn from. A true hero he is, if there was ever one. Here’s the Video link.

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Oh killer!

A slow-walking saint hit a metal box with his walking cane. He looked down to see what his cane had touched, and realized it was a treasure chest, partly open. He immediately exclaimed “Oh killer!”, and then went along his way.

A few hours later, two men came there from opposite directions, and laid eyes on the chest at the same time. Each knew that the other had seen the treasure too. What to do? They decided to divide the contents amongst them. “Total 100 coins, 50 for you, 50 for me.” Great, that’s settled. Then they realized that the treasure chest itself had not been divided. How to divide it? Not possible. They bickered for a while, and then decided to resolve the matter the following day because it was already getting dark.

One man said to the other, “Hey, it’s getting dark, and we’re both hungry. Why don’t you go to the nearby town, eat some food, and pack some takeaway for me as well? I’ll safeguard your 50 and my 50 till you are back.” The other man retorted, “You think I was born yesterday? I’m not budging from here. If you want, you go and get the food!” The first man relented, went to the town, had his fill and came back with some food. As soon as he arrived, the second man stabbed him with a knife. The bleeding wouldn’t stop, and soon enough he lay dead. The stabber sat down relieved that all the 100 coins were now his, and ate to his heart’s content the food brought to him by the other man. In a short while, he too lay dead, as the food had been poisoned.

Hours later, the same slow walking saint came by, looked at the 100 coins, and the two dead bodies, and exclaimed, “Oh killer!”, and walked on.

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To listen or to speak?

Both Dale Carnegie and my Guru cannot overemphasize the importance of listening as a skill. We are all accustomed to talking non-stop especially in social situations. We love to hear the sound of our own voices. And onc they topic shifts to anything even remotely of self-interest, then the words just don’t stop rolling out!

But listening allows us to win over other people, because if everyone likes to talk, then someone must be there to listen? Listening also builds patience, maturity, concentration and empathy over time.

There is one scenario I’ve seen though, where people love to listen and completely shy away from speaking. This is on the stage. Any formal stage, be it big or small – we often hate the spotlight and the associated stage fright aka butterflies.

However, at least from a satsang perspective, there is no better place to speak – no not after the satsang, but as the main speaker! And the reason is very unique here. If we just listen to satsangs, we will get knowledge. But it may not convert to wisdom or action. In order to make that conversion, speaking is a wonderful tool. When we listen to others speak, we may feel like we are understanding concepts. But when we laboriously sit and prepare for a speech, read up copious information to demystify our scriptures, underline the various important points, search for interesting anecdotes and stories, attempt to figure out the ‘real meaning’ and ‘practical meaning’ and ‘deep meaning’, we will encounter on these abstruse topics some epiphanies that will never leave us for life.

Speak we must, at every satsang opportunity. But prepare we must, too, so that our speaking is easy listening for everyone.

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Hearty speech

Many satsangis under the guidance of my Guru have conducted amazing personal empowerment workshops. Mainly for students, but also for teachers, principals, army officers, corporates and so on.

The experience for conductors has been exhilarating, to put it mildly. The experience for the attendees, specifically the students, has been life changing.

What is critical for conducting a workshop well? We would think the most essential ingredients are a good grasp over the content, excellent communication skills, top presentation style, stage presence, presence of mind, a good voice and other such attributes.

The Guru obviously has a unique viewpoint. He says, yes these are important, but there is one thing far more essential. And that is to harbour great a great and selfless love for the students. He asks conductors to feel the love and nobility – to imagine the poor undernourished students, who have had no opportunities in their lives thus far, and how this program could transform their lives.

It is not oratorical skill from the brain that matters, but genuinely felt love from the heart.

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Sightful

Here’s an awesome story narrated by Morgan Housel who writes for the Collaborative Fund blog.

Dr. Dan Goodman once performed surgery on a middle-aged woman whose cataract had left her blind since childhood. The cataract was removed, leaving the woman with near-perfect vision. A miraculous success.

The patient returned for a checkup a few weeks later. The book Crashing Through writes:

Her reaction startled Goodman. She had been happy and content as a blind person. Now sighted, she became anxious and depressed. She told him that she had spent her adult life on welfare and had never worked, married, or ventured far from home – a small existence to which she had become comfortably accustomed. Now, however, government officials told her that she no longer qualified for disability, and they expected her to get a job. Society wanted her to function normally. It was, she told Goodman, too much to handle.

Wow, you did not expect that ending to the story did you? It is no surprise that humans are the worst predictors of their own future. Our superpower, nay super-weakness is the ability to isolate exactly one outcome of the future (like more money, fame, here eyesight etc.) that we want, to the exclusion of everything else – often risks – that would automatically accompany that outcome.

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Weight and watch

Is it possible to give someone specific advice without hurting them? Here is one example of how my Guru did it.

One of the satsangis had put on a lot of weight. Obviously this wasn’t good from a health point of view. Of course one could just tell her point blank, “Hey, you are fat, and this is unhealthy, please follow a strict diet and exercise plan, or else you will land up in a hospital one day.”

Although that is the truth, it is also a very harsh way of putting it across.

My Guru instead was generally chatting with the woman, on matters not even remotely related to health or fitness. And he just added at the end, “Hey do you see that other woman over there? She was telling me that she reduced 10 kilos in the last 3 months.” The lady’s ears immediately perked up and she asked, “Oh wow, how did she do that Guruji?” To which he replied, “1 spoon less, 5 minutes early.” (which means don’t do anything drastic like a crash diet because those are unsustainable, instead eat 1 spoon less and hit the sack 5 minutes earlier progressively)

That’s it – zero hurting and zero criticism!

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Tough times

There are times when it might seem like everything is going against us. It is good to take on any adversity head-on though with this one thought that occurs to only the most spiritual of beings – “Thank you God/Universe for putting me in this position rather than anyone else. Because at least I will be able to bear this situation and it’s consequences, while those around me if subjected to the very same thing, may not survive.”

At other times, those close to you might be going through a tough time. This could be deep rooted karmic retribution at play. Who can really tell, except perhaps those who have truly Realized? In any case, it might seem like there is nothing we can do to help alleviate the pain. At least physically, yes.

But mentally, and emotionally? We can do many things. One, paramount, is prayer. A wonderful opportunity to not just pray, but pray for someone other than always selfishly for ourselves!

There’s a brilliant video I came across recently. A barber got to know that his client was diagnosed with cancer. The client’s hair had begun falling, thanks to chemotherapy. As the client begins to get his head shaved, the barber intermittently shaves his own head too. What a lovely way to show that he cares! The client is moved to tears.

The tag at the end of the video sums it up beautifully. “That’s not your barber anymore, that’s your brother.”

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Visual creatures – part 2

We touched upon the importance of visualization yesterday. Here’s a nice example that I saw on the famous TV series called Shark Tank. This is how Wikipedia describes the show – “Shark Tank is an American business reality television series that premiered on August 9, 2009 on ABC. It shows entrepreneurs making business presentations to a panel of five investors or “sharks,” who decide whether or not to invest in their companies.”

As you can imagine, this is a make or break moment for most entrepreneurs, given they could rope in a billionaire ‘shark’ to help grow their business by hundreds of millions of dollars. Sometimes even just appearing on the show, without winning a shark’s investment itself can be free marketing. Also obvious, is that the path is not easy. Just getting featured on shark tank, amongst countless thousands of other businesses, is excruciatingly hard, what with a gruelling selection / elimination process.

One lady who was featured in the 12th season was presenting her product. Once she finished her demo, she also played a video clip from 4-5 years ago. This was back when she had just begun her business, and all she had was a few prototypes of her product. Back then itself, she looks into her phone camera, and records herself speaking to the investors, “Sharks – I’m coming to see you on Shark Tank in a few years, and as you can see, these are my prototypes, and I’m coming to you with my finished product in a few years, with an awesome sales track record too!”

What an incredible way to visualize, record it for posterity, and then work one’s backside off until said goal is achieved!

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Visual creatures

One of my Guru’s most favourite topics is the power of visualization. He loves to help others (young and old) visualize their future dreams and goals. He is of the strongest opinion that it has an undeniable and incredible influence on the final outcome. And through this power of visualization, he has made so many miracles happen – things that otherwise seemed impossible, but happened nonetheless.

This visualization principle is not different from what other sources might teach us. Rhonda Byrne’s book The Secret, which became a worldwide phenomenon when it was released, essentially said “The universe will give you whatever you ask it.”

And we know that if we set our minds to something and go after it with single-pointed focus, then rarely can something stop us along the way.

“But how is it possible Guruji, how can we create the future by simply visualizing?” I once naively asked him.

His response was golden. “Deep down, we are all Brahman. All Creation has come from the same Brahman. Why can’t the Brahman inside you create the future that you want then?”

Point taken.

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DIRFTI

A consultant was engaged to help overhaul a company’s business operations. After a detailed study, they shared all their observations in 6 volumes of books. The company replied that this was unacceptable and asked them to condense the material. The consultant came back with 3 books, then 1, then half, then 10 pages, then 1 page, and finally just 1 line. And DIRFTI is what they came up with – which refers to Do It Right the First Time Itself.

This is one of my Guru’s favourite-est principles. Don’t want to be late for work? Make sure you don’t throw the car keys on the sofa corner the previous day when you come home. Want to find an important book? Keep it back on the bookshelf after using it. Want to succeed in an exam? Make sure you study every day like the exam is the very next day. Feeling lazy to do something properly? Want to avoid multiple trips to correct a stupid error? Make sure it’s done right the first time itself!

This is so important to my Guru that he has written this in bold on the very first page of the Amazing Empowerment Workshop book. The principle doesn’t suggest that one should never make mistakes. But rather than looking at the outcome, it focuses on the process, ensuring that everything is done optimally, thereby expecting optimal solutions as a result. Not very different from what Lord Krishna says in verse 2.47 – Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kada Chana, meaning one must only worry about one’s effort, and not on the end result.

DIRFTI is great, but it is even more great, when done while no one is watching. This will time and again avoid future pain, and provide immediate relief and happiness.

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FTP 30 TAP

To a computer engineer, these might sound like some network transfer protocols. But I’m not one, so I have no idea 😁

FTP and TAP are the difference between sorrow and happiness.

It’s very simple.

30 refers to 30 seconds.

FTP is Fail To Pause.

TAP is Take A Pause (courtesy a satsangi).

There are so many scenarios in day to day life that we come across, where we say or do things that we come to regret later on. It could be an uncontrolled burst of emotion, an angry retort to a loved one or friend or boss (these could be the same person 😂), a hasty decision, or just a lazy and unnecessary comment about someone or something.

A 30 second pause will not delay our life. But if it prevents us from saying or doing soemthing reckless, it can surely improve it.

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Degree to lead

What is the difference between a leader and a follower? Is it about brilliance, IQ, strength, awards etc.?

A leader has followers while the follower doesn’t! It’s about as simple as that. Leaders are able to demonstrate a vision and inspire his/her followers.

Contrary to popular perception, leaders aren’t born. Jim Collins in his book Good to Great, talks of level 5 leaders, and mentions the following characteristics – A level 5 leader:

  1. Is unafraid to acknowledge that s/he doesn’t know the answer/solution.
  2. Is unafraid to display their vulnerabilities
  3. Never says no to any new opportunities
  4. Is always keen on learning
  5. Is always humble
  6. Is always looking out for their followers
  7. Is often quiet, reserved, shy
  8. has their ambition is first and foremost for the cause, for the organization and its purpose, not themselves

Notice that not even one point is about academics, education or credentials. Isn’t this a great equalizer then?

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Homemaker charity

There’s a notion that only those who can earn are in a position to be charitable. Here are some ways I came across recently on how to give to charity even if one is not earning:

  1. Change: one could keep loose change aside, accumulate it over time and donate
  2. Tapas aka austerity: Donate money saved because of not buying something else
  3. Jewellery: Donate jewellery we don’t want or need anymore
  4. Celebrations: Instead of having a lavish meal in a 5-star for a birthday / anniversary etc., donate that amount (which can feed many needy mouths). We have celebrated so much in the past, one celebration less will make no difference.

We all came to this world empty handed, and are merely ‘renting’ mother nature’s facilities during our short stay.

This charity isn’t solely about giving, but about giving back. The former comes with ego, the latter when it is given up.

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Possible?

My Guru keeps giving the example of Roger Bannister (RB). In 1954, RB ran one mile in under 4 minutes.

He was the very first person to do so. His doctors had advised him before the run, that he should not go so fast, otherwise his organs would go all over the place, his body cannot take it and that he would die.

Of course, none of the warnings came to pass, and RB did indeed run the mile in under 4 minutes. What an achievement!

But funnily enough, RB was not the last. After his feat, almost every decade thereafter, someone or the other has been besting his record.

The current title is held by a Moroccan, Hicham El Guerrouj, who completed the mile in 3 mins and 43 seconds!

The actual time taken itself doesn’t matter. But it’s amazing how the human psyche works. Until someone else does it, it is considered impossible. But once it has been done, then there’s a line of people who follow it up, and even better it!

My simple learning from this, is that we don’t need to wait for anyone else. As the saying goes, even Impossible says I’m possible. And we’re each uniquely positioned to do things that no one else can (please see Mosaic Man).

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Know-it-alls

We think we know what’s best for us and what’s worst for us.

A few years ago, some colleagues along with a very senior leader moved to another firm. It was the most awesome move. Probably excellent pay hikes. Certainly improved designations and functional titles. Wonderful, inspiring stuff. To say people were jealous, would be an understatement. People were even wondering why the senior leader took only certain people with him, and why other “better” candidates were left behind.

Cut to today, that firm has shut down. The team, completely disbanded. What seemed like awesomeness at the time, in a few years has completely unravelled. Certain practices at the firm were questionable, which might even leave a blot on the resumes of those who worked there.

Seems like the tables have turned, and this could be the end of the world? It depends. Karma is an endless cycle of ups and downs. Today’s slap on the face is tomorrow’s opportunity. There is rarely a greater teacher than failure.

We think we know what’s best and worst for us. But we be would best off just going through the motions, enjoying the time in it. Everything else is just a perspective – and often not even our own.

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Stark extremes

Here’s how my LinkedIn feed looks like over the last few weeks

  1. Please help me find a job. I have been laid off since Covid struck in March 2020. I am the sole breadwinner. Unable to make ends meet. Please at least like my post and comment in order to maximise reach.
  2. Just got promoted to Senior Partner. All my hard work has finally paid off. Thanks to my family, boss, colleagues, God, dog etc.
  3. My dearest friend of 40 years is no more. He didn’t get oxygen when he most needed it. Alas. What a tragedy. He is survived by his wife and two toddlers.
  4. Here’s my photo of me and my son. He’s growing up fast. Hope I’m able to leave him a good legacy.
  5. Been in financial markets for 30/40/50 years. Never seen a more screwed up situation – economy down, market up, liquidity through the roof.
  6. Here’s baby S. She lost both her parents and both her grandparents to Covid. We are setting up a trust fund for her so that she may complete her education. Please contribute in any way possible.
  7. The last 4 weeks of my life were the worst. Oh the ordeal of Covid – what a disaster. But at least I’m alive and back home from the hospital. My priorities in life have been changed forever.
  8. Just graduated from IIM/Harvard/Stanford/etc. and have received my dream job. Onward and upward.

And on and on it goes. The extremes couldn’t be more stark. Not much one can do, except pray – not just for the sick but also for the brave and selfless front-liners.

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Free delivery

We are all getting more and more accustomed to food delivery – either on Swiggy or Zomato or Uber Eats and other similar services. We may have even seen many delivery executives zoom past on bikes or mopeds, as they hurry to fulfil their orders on time.

Usually, deliveries are well on time. A few days ago, there was a delivery guy who was about 10 minutes late. So I called him up and checked to see what he was up to, as his geolocation marker on the app had gone stationary. He immediately picked up, and apologized, and said that he got lost a bit and was coming soon. He enquired some directions with me, and then he was on his way he said. Another 8-10 minutes went by, and I was wondering why he would take so long given where his map was showing him.

He arrived a few minutes later at top speed and screeched to a halt, all sweaty. The reason? He was on a tiny bicycle, not a flashy bike or moped. No electricity / petrol to power him up. His legs probably got tired too, with multiple cycling trips this way. But he apologized again, and handed the parcel over with a big smile. Surely this is not his passion or calling – but he is doing this job to earn some side income – likely to make ends meet. But such a person is often at the receiving end of all sorts of abuses – with hungry and angry callers lambasting him.

We can all help such people by not just being nice to them, but also tipping them. And by more than just tiny amounts. One way, is to pay forward to them any discounts we would have received. At least in India, every payment option (credit card, pay later, netbanking etc.) offers plenty of discounts, free deliveries and cashbacks. I try to transfer all such savings/discounts as a tip to the delivery person. It’s the least we can do for their efforts in such trying circumstances (lockdowns).

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Hanging by a…

We al know about the story where one rock climber, in the pitch dark, is super tired and somehow tries to make his way down from the summit. He loses his harness and rope and what not and is hanging on – by a thread literally – for dear life. He prays to God to save him, and momentarily a heavenly voice booms from the skies, “Let go, and you will be fine.” He doesn’t trust the voice of course, and clings on, but by morning he is finished. When others find him, they realize he was dangling just a few feet away from the ground, but he couldn’t see it due to the darkness.

This is a story about the importance of faith. We know this, and its a great lesson.

There are some mountain climbers – and then there are some other mountain climbers who climb vertical rock faces. Like 3000-foot vertical cliffs. Where do they sleep or take a break? By using something called a portaledge. Which is a device apparently made from airline-quality materials, and hangs thousands of feet above the air perpendicular to the rock face. Fancy sleeping in one? Maybe rolling over the side of the bed would take new meaning here.

It is said these are absolutely safe though. And there are so many climbers who get a kick out of exactly this. Personally, this is not for me. Why would anyone do it? I read up a bit, and apparently its because climbers find it relaxing – being secluded up top and the spectacular views of the night sky and surroundings.

Too much effort / faith for this much relaxation?

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How to be

The grandfather has a blood pressure problem and is trying to get it cured. But it involves staying off a number of foods, which is very hard.

The grandmother has an ownership problem – what with so many activities but getting no credit from the family members.

The father has a time problem – stuck with office work all day, and also having to take nonsense from superiors and others to make ends meet, leaving him stressed and unable to spend time with his family. Not very different from the what the grandfather did once upon a time but not that long ago.

The mother has no life of her own – what with it being entirely devoted to her family. One or more of the kids (or even her husband) is always sick or wanting something else and she ends up always sacrificing, not very different from what the grandmother did once upon a time but not that long ago.

And the kids? Well they are growing up fast. But they too struggle in school, with peer pressure, at home with habits and chores, and with themselves too – having to deal with all sorts of insecurities.

From the outside, it might seem like everyone is always overestimating their problems. It’s easy to tell the grandpa/grandma/dad/mom/kids to just take a chill pill – and that things will settle down. That these are such simple issues that can easily be resolved. But then why do these feel so familiar? Why do we all go through these phases all the time?

It is because we have insufficient control over our minds. And this is not a condescending remark – rather one we should be empathetic about. Hence one of my favourite quotes. “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Hence be kind. Always.”

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P & C

In a recent Netflix comedy show called Derry Girls, there’s an interesting scene. A bunch of high school students from two different schools gets together. Not just two schools, but they are also divided by religion – one being Protestants (P) and the other Catholic (C).

The priest ‘Peter’ wants to bring them to all realize that P & C are just terms or outward labels, and that deep down we are all one and the same. He has two girls on either side of two blackboards, one blackboard titled ‘Differences’ and other ‘Similarities’.

Peter then goes on to ask the combined class what any one similarity could be between them P & C. The first answer is that P are richer while C are poorer. The next one says P are taller. The third one says P sing better, and so on. Soon enough, and much to the despair of the poor priest, the Differences board has completely filled up, with not a single word written on the Similarities one. He tries his best to hint (and then discuss openly) that everyone laughs, loves, lives, cries the same, no matter P or C or otherwise.

But his audience couldn’t care less – because they are completely usurped by their past experiences, having interacted with the other type. Of course the scene is mainly for comedic effect, but it is not too divorced from reality. It is hard to view people as human beings, and far easier to label them. The real magic happens when we tear off those labels though.

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Quick not hasty

Google Pay has a nice ad. It shows people engaged in a variety of transactions, and then using the app to make their payments. The tagline that goes alongside is “Jaldi, lekin jaldbaazi nahin”, which means quick but not hasty. This is an important but often overlooked mode of action.

Just a few days ago, a friend of mine who had come back to his hometown for a break, was telling me that his marriage got fixed. But he had given an ultimatum to his fiancee, that they needed to be married in the following 3 weeks, before he headed back to his place of work. The girl’s side wasn’t so keen on this alacrity. Marriage is one of those things where it is not possible to momentarily reverse one’s decision – it is not a hop-on hop-off bus. While one can understand my friend’s urgency, in the long run, what is a few months here and there?

But we’ve now got used to doing everything at great speed. Instant gratification and all that. And we naturally come to expect this in spiritual progress as well. But as is very nicely described in Tattvabodha, there are four things simultaneously needed for moksha or liberation = a Guru + satsang + scriptures + X. Three of these we can all have. But what is X? It is time. No matter how much of a hurry we may be in, we cannot sidestep the learnings that time and experience unveil to us.

For large important life-changing decisions, quality trumps speed any day, especially if we want to minimize regrets in the future.

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Masculinity

There’s an excellent interview on Youtube of ex-US President Mr. Barack Obama. It’s a very short clip – hardly two minutes long. He is quizzed on what masculinity is, what it means to be macho. Mr. Obama’s response, as expected of him, is simple yet profound.

He says that “a man doesn’t need eight women around you twerking to show their masculinity”. When we see most music videos / ads / movies / magazines / item numbers in songs etc. – they all seem to capture this exact theme – machoism and womanizing.

Instead, Mr. Obama clarifies that what makes a good man, is “first and foremost being a good human being and that means being responsible, being reliable, working hard, being kind, being respectful, being compassionate. The notion that being a man is to put somebody down rather than lift them up is an old view.”

Such a lovely thought, isn’t it? In the spirit of equality, no doubt this applies to women as well – because at the core of this life of ours, we are all human beings first.

We become great when we make others around us great, and this starts by treating them as though they are already great.

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Hair scare

One of the satsangis in a recent youth session narrated a nice short incident.

A Jain monk had shaved his head completely. Nothing out of the ordinary. Someone still asked him why he did it. The monk replied that he too previously had tried everything – oils, shampoos, conditioners, balms – you name it.

The he realized something profound, and said “Shareeri se a-shareeri hone tak sab kuch chutega”, which means – by the time we go from birth to death, everything will have been forgone. That is just the way of life. Youthfulness, energy, black hair, white hair, any hair – everyone will have to leave all these things behind at the end.

If one is on the spiritual path, one would do well to make peace with the end – well before the end. If despite having all the knowledge in the world, one is still worried about the hair on the head, then of what use is spirituality? We need to leave these things well before they leave us.

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So passionate

The whole world seems to be trying to find it’s passion. Everyone going to office to work is unhappy about something or the other. “Why am I even doing this? I wish I could be passionate about my job. I wish I could find my real calling in life.”

Most of the stories of people suddenly chancing upon their ‘passion’, and then becoming overnight stars are all horsecrap. The janitor who became a singing sensation on Somebody’s Got Talent? He practised his vocal chords off to the point of tearing them for only the past 30 years – and also kept his janitor job to boot. One day, as it would seem, his passion came calling.

We’ve to be clear about what passion is, and what inspiration is or excitement is. If looking at an artist do his work, or Steve Jobs or Elon Musk do theirs makes us want where they are, then we are only wanting the end result. It is unlikely we will have the perseverance and grit to even withstand their naysayers, let alone send rockets to distant planets. Everyone’s life is hard – to varying degrees of course, but the easiest way to make it easy, is to love thy work.

Whatever the work may be, if we can do it with 100% focus on the work, this very moment, without thinking of anything else, then the kind of quality we will give to our work will be unmatched. Also, if we give this kind of quality to our work for long periods of time, the same work will automatically be seen by others to be our passion. Finally, if we can add compassion to passion, that will take it to the next level.

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A tale of two-is-one – part 2

You have been practising meditation for a very long time. Many years in fact.

A guest in your house, one day sees you meditating. He comes up to you and says your posture is not right. Fold your palms this way, touch your fingers like this, and face this specific direction. How does he know you ask? He read it in a book.

You get irritated. And rightly so. Years of live meditation, versus reading from a book – really? Who does he think he is? You decide to give him a piece of your mind.

But you also think about it a bit more. “What am I doing all this meditating for? To control my mind, and my tongue, isn’t it?”

You mull over the learnings here. “The spiritual aspirant always has to face two sides of the coin. One, as a person making the suggestion, I do not know anything about the spiritual level reached by others. So telling anyone to do anything differently or to change their routine is not my place. And two, as the recipient of unsolicited advice, I can only control my reactions and responses. This way I gain mastery over my mind and tongue, and also ensure I do not hurt the other person.”

We can surely listen to advice, and even test it out, but if it is unsuitable, we can choose to ignore it. Why get angry, and mess up the rest of our day?

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A tale of two-is-one

The famous opening line of Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities goes “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.”

  • This is applicable to investing today – because the market is up, but the economy is down.
    There are many other examples too.
  • Within the same industry, during the same business cycle, one company gains market share, while another goes bankrupt.
  • The economy may be in the doldrums and companies downsizing, but some people still manage to find new jobs.
  • Within the same company, during the same appraisal cycle, one person gets promoted, another gets fired.
  • This is also true for those who are able to work-from-home, because they get more family-time. But it simultaneously also hard for those who need to compulsorily travel for work due to Covid, frontline workers and the like.
  • Speaking of family, one wants to get married but is unable to find the wife. Another is desperate to get divorced, but can’t get rid of the wife.
  • One person is blessed with kids, while another from the same family has struggled to conceive for years. Better still, the one with kids may find him/herself more stressed out than the one without.
  • One person with a lot of money is unhappy, but another having far lesser – yet living a simple contented life – is happy.
  • There may be the worst of riots, but also some kind souls who throw open their doors and hearts for help.

The world is a good place. But it is also a bad place.
Most people prefer to wallow in their misery – wallowing can bring pity but not success.
We find what we look for.
That’s how it’s always been, and always will be.

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Divorced from reality – part 2

Twitter has been awash with memes and posts on the recent divorce announcement of a tech mogul.

No more comments on that.

But one thing that did come up was an interesting thread written on the “gradations of the rich”. The premise is that we usually think rich = awesome = same benefits. But one guy has gone into more detail. All ‘rich’ is not equal. Pretty interesting:

  1. Net worth US$ 10m to 30m – all needs met, fly first class, 4/5 star stays, some business stress, not yet ultra HNI
  2. NW US$ 30m to 100m – fly private jet, multiple global residences, own big company, own cool cars, socialize with elite
  3. NW US$ 100m to 1bn – all of above + socialize with movie stars, corporate elite, any car you want. But very hard to find family and friends who love you for who you are, i.e. irrespective of your money
  4. NW US$ 1bn+ – You can literally buy access, influence, experiences, impact, respect and even time (by saying no to things/anyone that were otherwise not possible). But even at this level, one thing you cannot buy is love. Why? Because to love someone means to sacrifice for that person. But all the money you have means you never need to sacrifice anything. Probably explains why the top 10 richest people in the world have 13 divorces amongst them

In any case, it is not easy to be at the top of this list, always having to look over your shoulder. Thoughts?

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Divorced from reality

The world’s richest man? Divorced.

The world’s second richest man – divorced thrice previously.

The world’s third richest man – also getting a divorce now.

No this is not to suggest that if one is super rich, then hanging on to the spouse is difficult. It may very well be the case. But that is besides the point.

Each of these individuals must have gone through some pretty trying times – having a rough relationship can make one just feel like running away from it all. To where? To nowhere, but just away from everything. Can you imagine running away from everything when the whole world is watching you, tracking your every move?

The questions we need to ask are – how much money is useful in success? what is success to us? If we make a lot of money, but struggle with family life, is that still considered success? Is your success defined by you, or by those around you? Do you define your success based on what you want, or based on what you think others want for you? Do others really want anything for you? Time to ponder…

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Twit quot 2

Here are some more simple yet profound quotes I came across on Twitter:

The way to forget insults is to not take compliments in the first place.
When in doubt, go for a walk.
Don't worry about being qualified. Everyone is learning as they go.
Reading 1-2 hours a day puts me in the top 0.00001%.
In the short term you are as good as your intensity. In the long term, you are as good as your consistency.

Link to Twit quot 1

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Cat-ch me if you can

We’ve got two cats in our building. And their personalities couldn’t be more different.

One guy seems really affectionate. He’ll come up slowly, and try to snuggle. Once he knows you’re in the vicinity, he’ll find his way to you. If you’re sitting somewhere, he’ll try his best to come and sit on your lap as well. You’re already familiar with him, and have seen him do this before here.

But he’s also the jumpy kind. He’ll take a few back scratches, but the moment he hears a sound, he’ll get super alert. If we’re walking and he’s strolling too, and if we crack a leaf or something, he’ll literally jump and run away. It’s in his nature of course, that’s who he is.

Then there’s the other one – “mommy cat” as well call her – given she’s given birth multiple times, and most recently a few weeks ago. This one is not as affectionate, although she will come running once she knows you’re around. She’s quite the talkative one – you just say anything and she will keep meaow-ing like she’s a part of the conversation.

One thing is for sure – is that she’s always living in the moment. Start to give her a bum scratch, and oh can you make out how much she loves it. She doesn’t care one hoot about any sound around her. Some face rubs and under-the-chin rubs – you can make out she goes to paradise, with her eyes closing down quicker than I’d shut my work laptop on a Friday evening.

Lots for me to learn from them – on being affectionate, and happily living in the present.

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(Wo)men

One of the books my Guru suggests we should all read is the Kural by Tamil poet Tiruvalluvar. No he’s not a Tamilian and he cannot read Tamil, but there are English translations (C. Rajagopalachari), so nothing to worry. We’ve discussed this book before a few times. It is a series of couplets, ~1300 of them, with amazing practical takeaways for daily life.

A question that comes to some readers is, why is everything written from a man’s perspective? And why does it sound derogatory to women? Like the ‘Life Partner’ chapter is all about duties of a woman – so men go scot-free?. And the children bit talks only about sons, not daughters. Where is the feminism and equality angle?

How should we understand  this? My Guru says whatever lessons are applicable to a man should also be taken to be applicable to women, wherever relevant, using common sense. Also:

  1. The book was written 100s of years ago. So certain aspects may need to be re-read in that context.
  2. We can combine the lessons from his Amazing Simple Gita – marry it with his purports. When it says a woman must be completely devoted to her husband, we absolutely take it to read the other way as well.
  3. Like the Vashishta – Arundhati stars in our galaxy – where they both go around each other, unlike the Sun in our solar system, where the Sun is relatively stationary and other planets orbit around it. Wedded couples too are supposed to be going around each other, not just one being stationary at a time.
  4. There are negative criticisms too in the Kural. But all of those too, are directed towards men only. Like a person who is speaking harshly is referred to as a man not a woman – so in that sense, both good and bad have been treated equally.

There are some absolute gems in the book – totally not worth missing out on, and certainly not because of this gender issue!

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ig to IG

Here’s something that struck me and which I’ve been thinking about and trying to practice off-late.

I’m trying to consciously move from ig to IG. From instant gratification (which is everywhere in this digital age) to Instant Gratitude.

A few examples:

  1. When I feel like insta-ordering home delivery on Swiggy / Zomato, I try to replace the craving with a thought of gratitude for having a kitchen at home with loving family members who would happily cook a meal for me. Or even just having a kitchen, where I can cook for myself (rare, I know)
  2. When there’s a wish to get promoted quickly or to make a big bonus pronto followed by an inevitable loss of enthusiasm, one way is to be grateful for even having a job
  3. When wanting to desperately travel someplace just because I’m bored of home, I try to be extra grateful that I even have a home in the first place

Everything in life is about enjoying the process, unworried about the outcome. After all, the outcome of life itself is clear yet inescapable. Enjoying the process will happen automatically once we are grateful for what we have.

If I could have my own app, I’d call it Instagrat 😄

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Chilled out

There’s a simple lesson my Guru taught me once. It’s hard for someone like me to apply – given I prefer to be the silent observer, and rein my emotions in tightly.

One satsang had got over, and there were a few of us standing and talking. I was doing more of the listening, not the talking. There were a couple of people in the group who were cracking jokes one after the other, following up with roaring laughter and in general keeping the spirits of the group high.

Guruji pointed at those happy fellows and told me, “These guys are great conversationalists. These are the people who can strike up conversations anywhere, and build outstanding relationships with the maximum number of people. You need to be like this too. You know why they are able to do it? Because these guys are living in the moment. How can you joke about something in-the-moment, if you are constantly thinking about something that happened in the past, or is likely to happen (or not) in the future?”

Apt lesson for me indeed.

And it is no surprise that “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.”

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The right thing

We discussed wax-on wax-off before from the blockbuster 1980s movie The Karate Kid. It was a good lesson on how focusing on a mundane training process would help Daniel LaRusso the protagonist pick up some cool Karate skills and ultimately beat the backside out of his arch nemesis Johnny Lawrence.

But this was in the past. Hollywood would never let a good story get away, would they? They’ve now (last 3-4 years) come up with a TV series Cobra Kai. This has the same Daniel and same Lawrence, only now 40 years later – with each having their own competing karate dojos – and boy does it make for some fun watching!

A very nice scene takes place after one of the kids get beaten up and the sensei wonders what he did wrong. He laments in fact that he taught them everything right, did everything right, no cheap tricks, no cheating even, and despite that they lost.

To which the sensei’s trusted friend replies, “It’s okay buddy, you’re doing great. Just because you did the right thing but didn’t get the result you desired, doesn’t mean you should now start doing wrong things. A good person does the right thing all the time, no matter the outcome!”

What a powerful lesson.

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Penance

In one of our recent youth satsangs, we had a very engaging discussion on ‘thawam’ from the Kural, which in Tamil means penance / austerity. Is penance only for the likes of Ravana or others who sat and meditated for years together? Or is there some penance possible in our daily lives as well?

Maybe waiting in a line for 14 hours to get one’s hand on the next latest and greatest iPhone could be considered penance. But that would only be scratching the surface. To some, penance is minimalism, such as getting rid of all gadgets (including aforementioned iPhone) and spending time with nature instead. They may also spend much lesser money than others – never eating out, never traveling – being extremely frugal. But where does one draw the line? Does one also stop wearing clothes, taking bath, not sending the kids to school, not visiting a doctor for a medical emergency? Surely penance is about frugality, not miserliness.

Great men and women have said (and experienced) that nothing worth having comes easy. Which means penance is a part of all success worth having. It also begs the question, why is penance so hard? The answer is that it’s not hard. It’s very easy in fact, if one TRULY wants something. Most struggle with this, because they want something (like success), but do not want to work for it.

It’s one thing to do penance for our own benefit. But the truly great people – like my Guru, they observe penances solely for the benefit of others. He observes fasts or chants 21,000 ashotrams for other people’s health – sometimes people who he has not even met! As Thiruvalluvar says, “How fire refines the gold, the pain of penance refines the person.” What more can one ask for?

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Bricked

Here’s a nice story that was narrated in one of our weekly satsangs.

A brick layer’s job to build a temple paid 1 rupee per brick.

One person laid bricks grudgingly, always complaining that 1 rupee was too little money, that there were no jobs available and that this brick laying is so hard.

The second brick layer in the same temple said his job was good because he was able to make a steady wage to feed his family and educate his children.

Brick layer 3 said, “Wow am I lucky – I have been chosen to serve the Lord and build a temple. And what’s more, I’m even getting paid 1 rupee per brick for it!”

Same work, different attitude. Which one in your view do you think brings success?

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Ritualistic pride

When doing a puja, homa (havan) or other ritual, the doers often become conceited. “Oh look I just performed a huge yagna and see how many people attended, and see what amazing catering I arranged” etc. Even if the havan was done on a small scale, ego can creep in. But it’s helpful to really think what aspects of the homa or puja were done by “the doer”.

How about these?

  1. The deity we are praying to has to make him/herself available
  2. Agni, the fire God, has to function as the medium and carry one’s prayers to the deity
  3. The various ingredients – coconuts, walnuts, other inflammable items, flowers, ghee, water and everything else – does the yagna doer create these items?
  4. The priest who conducts the ceremony – is the organizer the priest? Soes s/he know every single mantra, shloka, chant – not just to recite, but to understand and to feel? Did s/he create those incantations?
  5. Or maybe if it’s a self-chanted self-conducted ritual, then gratitude to our own memory, vocal chords, the guru who taught us the mantras…
  6. How about the free time we were allowed by our family members to devote to the puja
  7. Also the attendees who showed up, and the cooks who prepared all the dishes
  8. A few other things I would have missed here for sure

Without any of these, how would the havan have been a success? Really is there much for us to be proud of then?

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Writers talk

Today is post number 365. It’s been a full year since I started daily-blogging here – and how time has flown! My deepest gratitude to each one of you who has been on this journey with me. As mentioned previously as well, while it might seem like I’m writing for others, the biggest learnings / takeaways / beneficiary have all been very selfishly (for) me. Writing this blog has been fun, but also an eye-opener. Here are some of the reasons I’m realizing why writing is a great way to de-stress:

  1. It helps clear the mind, because things previously in the mind are now moved to paper
  2. It takes effort, and that brings satisfaction
  3. However, despite said efforts, it may not attract a large (or even small!) readership, and that keeps the author grounded and humble
  4. Writing requires reading / listening / being open to new ideas, all of which build confidence and bring internal growth
  5. Many amazing thoughts are forgotten if left to the mind. Re-reading old posts can surprise – nay shock – the writer, leaving them wondering if they really wrote it (in a good way!)
  6. Brings phenomenal discipline. Especially if you write every day
  7. If you have to speak sometime somewhere, then the words come out much better if it is written down previously.
  8. Like I’d noted once here before there can scarcely be a better way for introspection
  9. A side benefit of course, is better linguistics + grammar + vocabulary

Anything I missed out? Feel free to comment…

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PR / FAQ

PR / FAQ. It stands for Press Release / Frequently Asked Questions.

Surely we’ve all seen these before. When a new service or product is launched, it comes along with a PR / FAQ. The former announces the launch to some detail, while the latter explains some of the nuances that are not immediately obvious.

What is awesome, is that any new product in Amazon (world’s largest company by market-cap ~US$ 1.6 Trn at the time of this writing) begins with PR/FAQ. Begins, not ends. They call it ‘working backwards’. So this is the first step in the creation process instead of typically being the last! They do this because they begin with customer delight and customer experience as the focus. Writing a PR/FAQ upfront highlights to them everything they want the end product or service to feel like, the features it should have, the final look and feel etc. It also gives them full clarity on what the final product should be – right at the start.

This is completely the opposite of what many people set out to do, and I would be the first on that list. When given a task, I prefer to jump right in and begin ‘working’, than pause to think and reflect. This means I might go into several loops of making mistakes, and wasting much time correcting them – mainly because the roadmap isn’t clear.

Starting with PR/FAQ can be applied in many other ways too. For instance, it can help visualize a goal (whether work-oriented, or otherwise) and prepare one’s schedule or timetable and flesh out the details. It can also help with relationships because it gives clarity upfront, rather than postponing important discussions and conversations. The important thing is to begin with customer delight / partner delight / other-person delight, the rest will follow. I also like that when said quickly, it sounds like ‘perfect’ – i.e. “pr/faq” 🙂

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Small to great

We discussed recently how Yudhishthira and Duryodhana went around the kingdom to find good people, and how the latter couldn’t find even one good person, while the former found goodness in everyone.

Do we too become like Duryodhana sometimes?

If we do a self-audit, would we find ourselves cribbing a lot about others, gossiping, talking behind people’s backs, complaining about the company we work for and the bosses, putting down others who got promotions (especially if they didn’t seem to deserve it!) and so on? Oh and not to forget much of the bashing has actually moved online these days – with social media becoming nothing short of the Kurukshetra battlefield (no matter the topic, there will be enough armchair experts to give you a rough time). It’s fine – these are normal, and we are human, so it is bound to happen.

The real problem with such discussions and thoughts though, is that constantly talking about other people’s negative qualities will subconsciously cause us to also become more negative. We not only talk bad about others, but this mindset also pulls us into a deeply self-critical mode. We eventually begin to question our own looks (lack of hair, long nose etc.), our talents, our abilities and capabilities as well simply because that negativity has seeped right in. Having a positive view of things, and celebrating even small joys and victories each and every day is much better than being morose and picking out the losses, even if they outnumber the daily wins 10 to 1. So it all boils down to keeping the mind focused on the good.

As a former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas.”

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Bharatha 600BC

There is an awesome board game called Bharatha 600BC, created and released by a company called GoIndia Games. It’s quite unique because such games that are made in India are rare. The map of the game itself is beautiful – featuring ancient India from – you guessed it – 600 BC!

The game makes for fun family bonding time – especially offering a clean hour or three. ‘Clean’ meaning no screen diversions (mobiles, tablets, TVs etc) – wow is that even possible these days?

The board game has plenty of paths to victory – and one can use tact, strategy, battle, speed, rationing (i.e. hoarding) of resources, using special cards – you name it.

One interesting thing that happens when we play with my mother, is that she will never battle, and she will also always ‘give up’ resources for the rest of the family to win. “Oh, how can I battle my own son!”, or “You want resources, here take mine” – much to the groans of others “come on ma, this is supposed to be a competitive game – leave your familial bonds aside!”

While there are groans during the game, one must look behind the curtain. The motherly love kicks in with feelings of compassion overruling everything else – and not just during board games but even otherwise. What if we too can apply such compassion/empathy all the time. Just like the Guru does. Wouldn’t that be the true application of everything we learn in our scriptures?

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Miraculous (escape)!

We were sound asleep. Blissfully unaware of the goings on of the night. A sudden loud crash jolted us awake. What was that?

A slab of granite making up the top of the window sill had just crashed to the floor. No announcement, no warning. Through the darkness, we could see some more slab, hanging precariously.

We tried to go back to sleep. Hardly a few minutes passed, or was it an hour? Another deafening crash, a bigger slab fell this time.

This was a place where we would normally be sitting under in the daytime? Or certainly walking past at least – many times a day. But the slabs never caved in then. How infinitely lucky were we?

A sheer miracle, if there ever was one. Not just tonight, but every night and every day till today. Who knows what all unspeakable things could have happened, but by some divine grace, didn’t?

Life certainly seems to be crumbling around us from time to time, all the time. But if it doesn’t knock us out, and allows us to keep moving ahead, that is nothing less than a blessing and a miraculous escape.

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Nectar for life

Here’s some pointers I found very thought-provoking from a recent speech my Guruji gave.

  • How to get moksha? By living a choice-less existence. Accept whatever comes to you. The goal of life isn’t to become rich or to be educated. The true goal of life is to realize the Self within, and realizing that That Thou Art (tat tvam asi)
  • We are all going to temples which are great energy centres, but always still asking for more and more materialistic things. When will the cravings stop?
  • Each one of us can achieve anything. One person has done 12 PHDs in printing technology, but still not used even 5% of his brain. Einstein used less than 5% of his brain. We can each do anything.
  • But we must always remember, that achieving great material things means nothing to the Lord, and to our progress on the spiritual path. Materialism will not help us see the Self within.
  • The biggest problem in our lives is not related to job, money, health, wealth or relationships. The biggest problem is that we have desires and are deeply attached to everything and everyone. Gita shlokas 2.71 and 2.72 clarify this.
  • Guruji had once said anyone can come and take anything in their house – even the altar. Even the Vishnu paadaas where he was doing puja with great love all the time. No attachments + no desires is the key. Vishnu paadaa is only a symbol. One must give up the whole world, only then can one attain moksha.
  • Sleeping early is a habit, but so is sleeping late. Reading scriptures is a habit, but so is not reading scriptures. Giving charity is a habit, but so is not giving charity. Same for eating and overeating. We must be careful about the habits we cultivate.
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Open mouth please

Here is a common two-threaded problem we each face at some point. We just had a really rough week at work and want nothing more than to plunge into a soft bed with head hitting a even softer pillow. But your spouse or significant other has just told you that they plan to take you out for a romantic candle-lit dinner. Normally this would be an awesome plan, but not today – all you want is to bury your face in that feathery pillow!

What to do then? Maybe you could go along with the spouse to dinner. But that could leave you totally exhausted. Or else, you could take a rain check. And that could have consequences – partner dejected, you feeling guilty etc. It seems like there are only two choices, and that both are suboptimal.

But are there really only two choices?

No, there is a third. This is called Hamlet’s quandary, i.e. to share or not to share. We often get stuck in this quandary. Instead of trying to resolve this problem on our own, the third option would be to name the dilemma. “Darling I really want to go with you for dinner and I really appreciate you planning this for me on the back of my really rough week, but I’m super exhausted today. Could we figure out something that will work for both of us?”

This third more communicative choice, is likely to open up a new range of possibilities and outcomes. This is useful not just at home, but even in the workplace. Like when we have too much work already, but the boss wants us to work on the weekend. Or a client has asked for some important information, but we do not have the resources yet. The bottom-line is this, sharing more with people can increase our vulnerability, but that could potentially result in a much deeper connection with the other person. And this third choice is often overlooked.

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Razor sharp

There are a couple of ‘razors’ worth knowing about. Not the ones we use to cut hair or shave. But some basic principles we can use to make better decisions. The first is Occam’s razor, and the second is Hanlon’s razor. Easy concepts, but useful.

  1. Occam’s Razor: Simple is best. Simple is beautiful. That’s the gist. In an increasingly VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) world, we tend to fall for the complicated. If a financial get-rich-quick-scheme sounds complicated and hence attractive, it is probably dubious if not heinous. Likewise when people speak complex jargon, we think they are intelligent. Occam’s razor says that when you weigh alternative hypotheses, the one with the least assumptions should be chosen. Of course, not everything can be simplified as H.L. Mencken said, “For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.” But the idea is to reach the optimal solution with the least confusion.
  2. Hanlon’s Razor: This one is very useful in all sorts of relationships. Maybe we asked someone for some help a few times, and they just don’t get back to us? We immediately get frustrated and think the person doesn’t like us, or that there is some other negative intent. Hanlon’s razor however says that before assuming negative intent, there is probably a viable alternative explanation – like ignorance, incompetence, lack of time or different core-beliefs. By thinking in these ways, the important thing is we transform our minds to having more happier fulfilling relationships. Here too a caveat exists: There are a small section of people who might indeed have ill-intent, and there we need to be careful, of course.

    Finally, if you were wondering why these are called ‘razors’, that’s because using these is likely to help cut through the noise and clutter.

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Super talented

We often think that talent is key. So many amazing talents in American Idol or Britain’s Got Talent and the like. Sure, maybe talent might open a door or two. But at least in the professional world, here’s what I’ve noticed are some “talents” which any one can develop. Also, these are super critical, but also super rare.

  1. Being nice to others
  2. Getting along with people
  3. Intellectual curiosity
  4. Being unaffected by failure
  5. Simplifying the complicated
  6. Patience – with results, with people
  7. Impatience with self-effort
  8. Punctuality
  9. GUDUSUNGU

    These might seem simplistic but they are not easy, and certainly not glamorous. But ask any successful person, and they will tell you these are highly under-rated and way more important than education and degrees and the usual skills we associate with the word ‘talent’. These are not taught in schools or colleges or universities, but the best part is that they can be developed by anyone, for free, at any time, with some mindfulness and self-effort.

So, how talented are you?

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Controller

For those of us with day jobs, a large part of they day goes in working. And with it comes the associated stress and anxiety. Specially when the employer / boss decides that the work you’ve done is not good enough and is communicated in a harsh manner. Or the phone calls that come over the weekend when it’s actually time go camping with your kids. Or the general office politics which are eating into your limelight because you are inherently a ‘non-political’ person.

We also get stressed in other non-work activities, like when we don’t have enough time for family and that plays on our minds, or when we have emergencies, or when we know the neighbour has bought a new car that we certainly cannot afford, or even when a close friend or colleague suddenly gets a massive promotion leaving us many steps behind. “Oh what a stroke of luck” we may think. And that could indeed be the case.

As we well know, there is no dearth of reasons to be anxious. My wife highlighted a piece from a book she is reading on Ayurveda and nutrition which is very interesting. The author says that most of the causes of stress in our lives are outside our control. We can’t control what the boss says, or the colleagues do, or what the neighbours will show off.

According to the book though, there are only two things we can and should control.
1 – Our diet (quality, quantity, timing), and
2 – Our sleep routine (again – quality, quantity, timing)
The author says with incredible conviction, that if these two things alone are sorted in our lives, the rest will take care of itself. Worth a try?

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Foggy

Alan Alda, the American actor and 6-time Emmy and Golden Globe winner once said, “Your assumptions are your windows to the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.”

This might seem obvious, but its effective implementation is worth its weight in gold.

The real problem is that these windows are not dirtied by others. They are dirtied by we ourselves, after imagining what others are thinking about us.

So much so, that sometimes being blind is better, as shown in the very popular Marvel TV show called Daredevil. The protagonist has superhero abilities, but cannot see. This lack of vision though, gives him much clarity in other walks of life. Contrast that to his best friend and partner – ironically named ‘Foggy’ – who lives by making large (and silly) assumptions and getting himself into trouble.

Scrubbing our windows needs courage and the ability to recognize that we may have been wrong – often publicly. And it’s infinitely better to be wrong and corrected on Step 1 than on Step 100, by which time, it might be too late.

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The one formula for success – part 3

Here’s an example of how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes – from a conversation between my Guru and I recently.

I had kept a vow for donating some money to Tirupati (a large and famous temple in south India) if some specific important event took place in my life. Like Guruji says, it is very important for everyone to set lofty goals, work towards them, pray for them, and if those goals are achieved, then unabashedly do something in return.

When said event did work out (miraculously!), it was time to keep up my end of the bargain. But I had a conflicting thought. Should I donate to Tirupati? Or should I donate to the cause of my Guru? So I asked my Guru. “If it’s just money, can I not give to your cause Guruji? Why Tirupati? Isn’t God and his money fungible?”

To which he had a wonderful answer, and such an answer is only possible if he put himself in my shoes. Because from his point of view, he has already realized Brahman and moksha and liberation, and to him these material differences do not matter!

But to me as one who is faaaaaaar away from such realized states, he said simply, “What if something bad happens tomorrow? Then it is possible I might connect the dots? That it is because I did not donate to Tirupati as planned but instead gave the money off to another cause, that there was a hole left to be plugged at Tirupati?” Instead my Guru told me to go and happily give to Tirupati, and then also pray to the Lord there to give me more money so that I can donate to the other causes with even more fervour. Win-win?

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The one formula for success – part 2

We saw yesterday how Dale Carnegie says there’s only one thing we need to do to be successful, whether in personal relationships or in a professional setting. And this is to put ourselves in other people’s shoes.

Sounds easy. Yes, but very hard to apply, isn’t it? What prevents us from viewing things from another’s perspective?

Adi Shankara in his commentary Vivekachoodamani, says that there is one and only one hurdle. The ego.

How to get rid of this ego? He says that there are 2 pillars to this ego.
1. Selfish desire
2. Selfish action

1 causes 2. and 2 reinforces 1. And the cycle repeats ad infinitum.

How to break out of this? By performing actions for others. Seva. Service. That’s the only way Adi Shankara says. The more we think for (not about) others and work for others, the less time we have to worry about ourselves, and the lesser the ego becomes, automatically.

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The one formula for success

In his amazing book How to Win Friends and Influence People, author Dale Carnegie (DC) shares some amazing lessons on how to … well exactly what the book titles says!

It’s not a very large book, but it is divided into 6 parts, and a total of 37 chapters, each addressing one specific focus area for introspection, improvement and application.

Out of all these, DC himself says in part 4 chapter 8, that if there is only one thing that we take away from the entire book, then it is this one formula. Here is that paragraph reproduced verbatim.

If, as a result of reading this book, you get only one thing - an increased tendency to think always in terms of the other person's point of view, and see things from that person's angle as well as your own - if you get only that one thing from this book, it may easily prove to be one of the stepping stones of your career.

Just imagine that. We think success is all about us, our hard work and meeting our targets and what not. Sure these are important, but there are millions of people doing all these things already – but they rarely rise to the top. Because they are too often focused only on themselves. DC has the solution. We only need to implement.

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Boundless

Here’s a lovely story on giving / kindness/ generosity from the Mahabharatha I came across.

Arjuna once asked Krishna thus, “Why is it that people always say Karna is the most generous person in the world? I too have given away so much to those in need. Why am I not considered so?”

Lord Krishna replied, “I think you will see this better in action for yourself. Tomorrow at dawn, I call upon both you and Karna to have a giveaway contest. You will each start with a mountain of gold, jewellery, ornaments etc. This will give me an opportunity to judge which of you is the better giver.”

The next morning, both Arjuna and Karna began their giving spree. By mid-day, Arjuna was tired, having given away nearly half his mountain, and looked to rest for a few minutes. He asked Krishna how Karna was doing. Krishna told Arjuna that Karna already finished his giveaways and went home! Arjuna was shocked and surprised.

To which Lord Krishna said, “My dear Arjuna, you were asking people to bring their bags and buckets and fill them, and once filled, to go back. Karna on the other hand had no such requirements – he just gave away with no limits or conditions. That’s why his mountain got emptied out in no time. And also why people consider him the most generous person on earth!”

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Scales

We are often faced with situations where we need good constructive feedback.

Maybe you’ve written a poem or an article, but don’t know how well it’ll be received. Or you’ve got an idea – which you plan to discuss with the higher-ups, but are not sure if it’ll fly. Or maybe you just want to know if the dress you’re planning to wear is good. Perhaps we just want to know if the way we spoke at an important meeting was alright.

The reasons for seeking feedback could be many. But the challenge of receiving it is the same. Most responses will just be, “Yes, it was good.” or “Yes, it was nice.” What does one do with such generic feel-gooders?

I came across a nice hack which I feel is very useful. Instead of asking people whether they liked something or not, ask them to rate it on a scale of 1 to 10. And tell them that 7 is not an option. And also ask them what it would take to get their rating up to a 10. You’ll be surprised by how much more specific and constructive the feedback can be!

One word of caution though, if your wife tries to use this tactic on you, the right answer is always 11. Kidding! Or not! 🙂

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Wobegon

Here’s an interesting sentence I came across in a job posting. It said “Please do not apply if you suffer from Lake Wobegon effect.” Of course I had no clue what that was, so I had to google.

Turns out its pretty simple. It refers to the bias that most human beings think they are better than average…at everything. If you are put in a room of people, say your classmates, the chances are that you think you are better than them on average at speaking, leadership, scoring marks, understanding concepts etc. Operating word being “on average”.

Sounds cool, but mathematically, it is not a fallacy. The example here proves this – If four people score 8/10 on a test and one scores 3/10, then the average or mean score in that five-person group is 7/10, and a majority are indeed above average.

From a personal standpoint, it doesn’t matter what one thinks of themselves. But it is possible their self-assessments could be far from the truth. And that’s what we need to guard against, else woe will begin, not be-gone! Best to periodically question ourselves if there’s room for improvement, and to keep working towards that. No need to compare with others, but we can compare with our own past selves and see if we are making progress.

And for anyone who is hiring and reading this, please don’t put such statements in the job postings. Feels so condescending! 🙂

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Youthful charity

The first thing that strikes a young person when it comes to charity is “This stuff is not for me”. Why? Because they are still young, have very little in the bank, and they may want to save up. That argument is absolutely spot on, except that my Guru’s recommendation is to only set aside 10% of income for charity, and not the entire 100% in the bank!

I started giving with my first job back in 2007 – and I was a few months late so maybe I started in June and gave first in December, and missed a few months in between. So I felt it was natural to also add back the 10% for the 6 months in between as well. I didn’t think it was a big deal at all at the time, but I can never forget how happy my Guru was when he knew that I’d added back the 6 months portion as well.

And it took me a long time to understand why – something I’m still learning, that giving is not about the bank balance, nor is it about the cause we are giving to. Rather, it is a way of life. Youngsters can donate more, because they have the benefit of time, and starting early is always a good thing.

Of course we weed to have something first, to be able give. So what I’ve seen over time is that giving to charity has made me more prudent with my finances. Also my experience and the experience of many others who give, is that the more you give, the more you get. The equation slowly changes from “I want more so that I can enjoy more”, to “I want more so that I can give more”. Ultimately, all the giving (with common sense of course) is for only one goal – to come out of the clutches of money – which will aid us in our spiritual growth and purification of the mind.

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Swayed by action

Are we swayed often by the sweet words of others? Or perhaps by their inspirational and motivational call-to-action words? It is natural to get swayed by those who speak well. But it would do good to separate the walkers of the their path from simply the talkers. And the world is full of the latter.

One such example is in the world of investing. Twitter is full of them, as is perhaps Reddit too in recent days. Recommendations fly fast and wide on which stocks to buy and which to sell. Newbie investors get easily carried away – often investing the entirety of their hard earned savings, only to realize it was either a ponzi scheme or worse.

As Nassim Nicholas Taleb of Black Swan fame says, “Never ask anyone for their opinion, forecast, or recommendation. Just ask them what they have – or don’t have – in their portfolios.”

This is easily extended to non-investment real life as well. As Rene Descartes put it, “To know what people really think, pay regard to what they do, rather than what they say.”

This simple principle can be used to find the right mentors, guides, friends, colleagues, business partners and any others with whom you need to build a long term relationship. If they do not walk the talk, then it is only talk.

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Mediterranean life

We’ve been watching this show off and on called Mediterranean Life, which airs on Discovery Plus.

It looks amazing. Clear blue waters, lush greenery, lovely beaches and just outstanding locations in general.

The show is somewhat like reality TV, where the cameras follow various couples looking for a new home, either to rent or to buy. Its pretty much an advert for some very beautiful Mediterranean countries. These home-seekers are typically people from around the world who are fatigued by their daily schedules, lack of work life balance, a virtual disconnect from nature and so forth.

Everything looks nice and plush and bright as the cameras beautifully capture scenery, cutlery and upholstery. And the young couples get all excited by how big the houses are and such. Most of them link everything back to their children. “Oh my 6-yo son needs to have his own bedroom, own bathroom, own swimming pool, and a large garden to play in.” or “I want my 3-yo and 5-yo kids to have the best – one room each, a sea view from both, one bathroom each, a separate living area for them on the second floor, a room to play and get creative” and what not.

I wonder if splurging so much on kids really empowers them, or makes them struggle later on as they never needed to work for anything? What is more realistic for the big bad world that we experience?

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Habitual

There is always a lot of discussion about gratitude. People try to ‘do gratitude’, ‘show gratitude’ or temporarily ‘have gratitude’ for some specific person or event or thing. That’s a good start. But gratitude is not something that comes today and goes tomorrow.

Gratitude is a habit, and a way of life. If we can practise gratitude 24×7, that effectively means we are happy all the time. Happy about what? It doesn’t matter, but every second every instant we are able to find something or the other to be grateful about, and hence happy about.

Imagine how powerful that could make our minds? All negative thoughts would be banished forever.

Gratitude is important for both good and bad happenings in life. Why? For whatever good happens in our lives, we of course know how to be grateful. But if we practise gratitude in such good times, then our ego will always be kept in check. Whatever bad happens in our lives, we can be grateful that it wasn’t much worse than it could have been. Also, all bad experiences in life offer us a chance to learn and grow. Sometimes that is better that outright success.

The easiest way to start is by writing a gratitude diary or a miracle journal. Over time, writing will not be required anymore, and being grateful will become an integral part of every waking moment.

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Lessons from a wildebeest

Human babies are pretty much useless at fending for themselves. They can do nothing more than suckle and cry at a really loud volume.

But wildebeest babies? Man do they have it tough!

A new born wildebeest’s mother – for many hours after the calf is born – doesn’t even let it suckle. The reason? Safety from predators who abound.

The wildebeest calf must first stand up on its own. It’s mother keeps moving further and further away from her calf, forcing the latter to start following her – first by walking, and then by running. Only when the calf is able to run properly after a few hours, does the mother allow her baby to have her first milk.

Three things struck me, as I watched this on a BBC Earth show.

  1. How lucky we are – despite having no ability to run or walk at birth, we are kept safe.
  2. There is no room for crying or cribbing – run, or die.
  3. If we struggle at the start itself, in anything we do in life, this would form the foundation for future success.
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Gateway to serve

There is no dearth of rich people in the world. But the number of poor, far outweigh the rich. If you are one of the lucky ones to be in the ‘rich’ group (or at least in the group where you do not need to struggle to make ends meet), then what can you do with your money? Our scriptures say that the only thing one must do is to serve others selflessly. As my Guru notes often, it is easy to find rich people – but very hard to find rich people who are also noble. Money is such a thing, that the more we have, the more it can control and corrupt us. Even the noblest of people can unravel in the clutches of money. The only way to remain noble then is to stay steeped in our scriptures, and consciously apply everything we learn in them and in satsang.

There are of course many rich people who are doing great work for society. One example is Bill Gates. Indeed there may be naysayers or those who feel he is doing this to benefit himself in some way – there is no way for me to know. However, his work has surely impacted poor people’s lives for the better, and he talks about this in his new book “How to Avoid a Climate Disaster”. He and his wife Melinda began working on global health many years ago, and experts would tell them often about how many kids were dying of diarrhoea. But they didn’t know the source of this diarrhoea. The couple were unable to figure out how to save these kids without knowing the underlying cause. Being rich, and having the ability to spend money as necessary, they were able to fund a variety of global studies to figure out the exact cause of this diarrhoea – which was then identified as pneumonia. And then Mr. Gates was able to further fund a much cheaper pneumonia vaccine than one that already existed and used only by developed countries, which in turn led to saving the lives of millions of kids.

Many times, those who get onto the spiritual path feel that they should not bother about earning money anymore. But money is one of the best ways to help people at scale. Hence a noble person shouldn’t shy away from becoming rich. But one must become rich and not hoard the money, but selflessly help those around in need.

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Becoming Amazonian

Jess Bezos, the world’s richest man, has 4 core strategies that he believes his company Amazon should live by, in order to remain successful.

  1. Obsess over the customer, rather than the competitor
  2. Be eager to invent, which goes hand in hand with failure
  3. Work towards operational excellence, and
  4. Think long-term

I couldn’t help but wonder how awesome these would be when applied to success in our lives too. Why should these only be useful to Amazon, or to any company? Here’s how we can repurpose these for measuring our own success.

  1. If we ourselves are the product, then obsess over the value we deliver to our family, friends, colleagues, employer
  2. Reinvent ourselves for the better, learn more, read more, and pick ourselves up from failure shamelessly
  3. Do all our work – personal or professional – with excellence as the only acceptable standard
  4. Choose long-term sustainable solutions over short-term band-aid fixes

Possible to implement these?

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Metabolic reversal

There are only two things we need to do to be happy.

  1. Have a fit body.
  2. Have a fit mind.

Indeed this sounds very simple. It is, but it is not easy to achieve.

A fit body requires being active throughout the day. “Oh how I wish my metabolism would be better!” Contrary to popular perception, we do not move less because of low metabolism. We move less to begin with, and that leads to low metabolism!

A fit mind on the other hand, requires lesser movement and more stability. Meditation, or the ability to focus and concentrate is key. And this comes only with practice.

How contradictory! The body needs movement, while the mind needs stability.

For many of us, given all the developments in technology and instant deliveries, our bodies are mostly resting, while our minds are mostly exercising. Just reversing that, will make our lives infinitely better.

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Bear necessities

We were recently watching the new BBC Earth series called A Perfect Planet, narrated by the incomparable Sir David Attenborough.

One shot focused on a group of bears that had just come out of hibernation. They were quite skinny and weak, having gone many months without any food.

Hundreds of them had come together at a lake, the largest such congregation of bears in the world. Their objective? To hunt all the salmon that come to the lake shores, and there were plenty of them. However, in this initial period, the salmon are very strong, and the bears are not quick enough to catch them. Most bears fail, and go hungry.

One old, experienced and wise bear though, had a trick up its sleeve. Instead of fishing from the shore, he swims coolly to the middle of lake, and makes a few dives to the bottom. Each time, he comes back up with mouthfuls. These apparently are fish that have just died and been deposited into the lake bed. The wise bear’s excitement is palpable, as much is the anxiety of all the other bears combined.

It always helps to pay heed to the wise.

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GUDUSUNGU

Financial market participants often try to define risk. Due to the large sums of money involved, it is extremely important to capture risk accurately – the reason being that one would always know how much they could stand to lose at any point in time. The challenge with assessing risk though, is that it always comes unannounced. If you can define it, comprehend it, and prepare for it, then it probably is not really “risk” in the first place.

It’s not just the financial markets alone where we may have experienced this. On the eve of an important presentation or speech or or exam or deliverable or review, we might conjure up the worst possible outcomes in our minds. No doubt stress, anxiety and tension will follow. But what is interesting is that most of the time such events pass by fairly smoothly, and the “risk” never materializes. As someone said and I’m only paraphrasing, “Risk is what hits you completely out of the blue, at 3 pm on a sleepy afternoon.”

What can we do then in such situations? Instead of worrying about what might happen, once we’ve put in the requisite efforts (i.e. preparing in advance for the presentation, studying well for the exam etc.), we can follow the gudusungu (you could pronounce it as goodoo-sangoo!) principle, i.e. Get Up, Dress Up, Show Up, Never Give Up. Just consistently being there, doing the small things, progressing step by step, always matters much more than a one-shot one-trick pony. Let’s try it out!

PS: ‘Sangu’ in gudusungu is also the name of my awesome elder cousin sister who’s also a doctor and blogger. Makes it easier for us to recall every day!

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Keep company

In Sadhana Panchakam verse 13, Adi Shankara gives the instruction that one must keep the company of knowledgeable people, specifically the Guru. Most people focus on the latter half, i.e. finding the ‘knowledgable One’, i.e. the Guru, and making sure the Guru is the right one for us. Even when we are in dire need of help, materially or spiritually, we only think of estimating / forecasting whether this Guru can really help our cause. Will the Guru make us stop eating the foods we like or watch the TV we crave or visit the pubs we like? If so, then I’d rather change my Guru, because that is infinitely easier than changing my lifestyle.

All the focus though, has to be on the first part of the sentence, i.e. ‘keeping company of’. This looks disarmingly easy, but is extremely difficult. A true Guru might administer some much needed bitter medicine, and in such times, sticking on to the chosen spiritual path might seem not just troublesome, but also unnecessary. While the solution for this problem is introspection, grit and perseverance, the oft-resorted-to measure is Guru-hopping.

From a more materialistic point of view, keeping company with knowledgeable people helps akin to the “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” adage. Hence it is important to choose the people we are around. If we surround ourselves with billionaires, the chances of us thinking lofty, goal-oriented and futuristic increases manifold, as does the chance of success. The question of course is, why would even one billionaire want to spend time with me, let alone five?

‘Billionaire’ is the end goal, as is moksha. It is neither the start, nor the journey. What if we could have lunch with one person smarter than us, every day, or at least twice a week, instead of eating alone, or with the same team members? What if we could cold-write to people for their guidance / mentorship on LinkedIn? What if we could reach out to people seeking to partake in their wisdom? Without doubt the results will come. But taking the first step, and maintaining it (keeping the company going) is in our hands. The rest will follow.

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Luckuidity

Here’s a short story that I came across (surprisingly!) in two different books within just the past week. The first book is called The Great Mental Models by Shane Parrish, while the other is the recently released How to Prevent a Climate Disaster by Bill Gates.

The story goes thus. There are two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says “Morning, boys. How’s the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes “What the hell is water?”

There could be different takeaways for different people from this. To me, it is a simple yet profound reminder of all the good stuff that I’ve got in my life that I’m constantly and almost unknowningly taking for granted. If I would only stop to smell the roses along the way…

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Temple motivation

There’s a temple in South India with a Unique Selling Proposition aka USP.

There are 2 columns / pillars, set very narrowly apart.

It is said, that if you have any desires to be fulfilled, you just need to squeeze through them pillars, and your wish will be taken care of.

Needless to say, there is a long line every day of people of varying sizes trying to squeeze themselves into the said gap. It could be because they need a visa to settle abroad, or to pass with flying colours (or at least in black and white!) in an exam they just gave, or if they want more money or a promotion etc.

If however, the outcome of walking through this pillar gap was to get instant moksha or liberation (literally no effort, just walk through and be free) instead of materialistic pleasures, I can’t help but wonder if anyone would even visit the temple at all.

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Overthinking

Overthinking. This is a big problem many of us have. But it is not a disease – only a habit. And one that we can consciously change. A lot of students often wish to know how to tackle this.

Thinking mostly happens when there is an absence of doing. As they say, an idle mind is a devil’s workshop.

It would also perhaps help to acknowledge first, that no matter what we do in life, there will always be way too many things outside our control. Right from whether the cleaners come on time, or whether there’ll be a traffic jam on your way to work, or even how your own family members might react to an important development in your life – we just can never be sure of the outcome.

Hence overthinking won’t help, because the additional thinking has limited control on the situations around us.

However, thinking per se, is not bad, and is probably necessary. Planning, strategy, evaluating the options etc. all come from thinking. The challenge is preventing thinking from going overboard. One way to achieve this, is to replace extra thought with action. As Lord Krishna said in the Gita, the panacea for Kali Yuga is Karma Yoga.

Just like we schedule activities for ourselves, it helps to schedule maybe 30 or 45 minutes on a day for thinking / overthinking. During this interval, one can feel free to let their mind run riot.

But outside this time, no overthinking, only doing.

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Luckiest

There’s a Sanskrit word for liberation called moksha. There’s also a Sanskrit word for wanting liberation called mumukshatwam.

Mumukshatwam signifies an intense burning desire for moksha. But even this has classifications – some have a really intense desire while others are more curious than desperate.

It is said that the Guru and the disciple meet when the disciple has a burning desire for moksha.

Many of us are indeed blessed to have a Guru in our lives. But how much mumukshatwam do we have? From my own experience I can say very very little, if any at all. Sad, but true – as I continuously struggle to keep materialism at bay, what with the vagaries of daily life.

But life happens, to each one of us. Despite that, despite not having an intense yearning for liberation, if we still have got a Guru in our lives, what did we do to deserve it? It will remain one of the biggest mysteries to me. It would also be foolish to look such a gift horse in the mouth. And such luck, like any luck, should not be wasted.

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Disastittude

  1. She had worked really hard on her presentation. All of last week. Little sleep and plenty of sweat, and tears.
  2. Now it was ready. All external dependencies, and myriad coordinations, checked and resolved, approvals sought.
  3. Mail drafted, and ready to send. This would put her in the upper leagues. People would take notice.
  4. And then came the phone call. Some of her data points in chapter 3 were incorrect. Taken innocuously from a defunct source.
  5. The correction would take time. Maybe a couple of weeks if not more.
  6. Oh what a bummer. She felt like the world came crashing down.
  7. Irritated. Frustrated. She hated delays. She also hated going back to the drawing board.
  8. Then she realized. This was not a disaster, rather, she was saved from one.
  9. Imagine if her email with the wrong presentation and data had gone out. What a mess that would have been!
  10. It was just a week from annual appraisal day too. Her bonus could have been slashed, and promotion rescinded.
  11. Her frustration abated momentarily, and her gratitude for Divinity’s mysterious ways gushed to the fore.
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The call

On a recent call with my Guru, as always, words of wisdom poured out.

Here are a few things he said, worth pondering over for me.

  1. If child cries, yes the parent can hold it. The eventual problem with that is each time the child will cry if it is not held.
  2. There were no glories for Krishna or Rama during their lives, apart from maybe Hanuman who looked upon them as Gods. Most of the rest of society couldn’t care less. They attained God status well after they were gone. This repeats every generation.
  3. Jalebis (an Indian sweet) cannot be analysed, otherwise it will lose its taste. It needs to be put into the mouth and relished. Don’t over analyse scriptures, rather start putting into practise/action.
  4. Many people promise to give to charity when something good happens in their lives, but very few follow through. Shows they are still attached to money and deluded by it.
  5. All great ideas come from the one same Divine source. Tap into it.
  6. Only when you truly forget yourself and your own selfish needs and truly love the other with no expectations, will the blessings of the Divine come.

So simple, yet so profound!

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Ego wars

Ego is our enemy right?

It prevents us from seeing things as they really are. It blinds us from believing that we’ve made a mistake. It helps us beautifully and creatively come up with ways to put the blame on someone else. Ego is a sureshot way of making suboptimal decisions and repeating mistakes. Eventually it leads to stress and anxiety.

But is ego always bad?

Maybe not, because it is the force which makes us act, often with great confidence. Without ego, we wouldn’t even want to get out of bed, let alone send a man to the Moon or even strive for that promotion or bonus at work. Nobody would ‘start-up’ as the fear of failure would be too large a force to prevent any action.

Why does spirituality condemn the ego then, and is there a way to reconcile this?

Yes, but it would take some effort. Instead of the using the ego to focus only on ourselves, if we can use it to work for others, to ensure society at large is benefited, that would be a win-win. This is why one with ego is under one’s own will, but a realized soul without ego (i.e. ego surrendered) is under God’s/Guru’s will.

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Robbing invaluables

Here’s an interesting story I came across on the importance of living life by certain rules. This is apparently true even for those vocations where the work foundationally is built upon breaking rules!

A disciple of the great Chinese philosopher Lao Tsu recited thus “A youth joined a group of dacoits and asked their leader, “By robbing do we get Tao (will you get the way and its virtue)?”
The leader replied “Tell me is there any place where there is no Tao. Even while robbing one should have:
1. the knowledge to know where the treasure is hidden;
2. the courage to lead;
3. enough courage to come out last;
4. insight as to how to be successful even in robbery;
5. justice to equally distribute that which is stolen.
Such a successful robber who possessed these five qualities never existed. For every action in life including robbery we should know the rules and regulations.”

This post is obviously not about glorifying robbery – but that there are two sides to every coin. Even in our own work, whatever it may be, we can either look for the Tao and work in happiness and virtue. Or we can even the do the most pious of jobs, like being a temple priest – with greed and anger. What rules and values do we want to live by, and be known by? We decide…

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5/25

Ace investor Warren Buffet’s personal pilot was Mike Flint. The latter once came to Mr. Buffet for some career prioritization advice.

What did he say? “Write down your top 25 goals. Now circle the top 5, and drop all the others.”

This is super advice, especially for someone like me, because I often have lengthy to-do lists, and keep worrying about not being able to achieve those things. More often than not, the pace of new items coming on to the list is much higher than the pace of things coming off it!

Why does the 25/5 rule help? Because it fairly estimates that each individual has certain limitations. Over the long run, it is difficult to achieve more than 3-5 large goals, and hence what goals 6 to 25 are, are not really goals, but more of distractions.

I try to use this even for day to day living, as it helps with minimalism. It could be for the things I need to get done in the next hour. Or in the next day. Or even while grocery shopping. If there’s a list of 25 items I think I need, do I really need all of them? Or can I make do with lesser, and order the rest in the next round? A good test of self-control.

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I think you think I think

When do I think I’m happy? When society has watched me ‘arrive’ in life. When society thinks that I’m successful.

How does society define this success of mine? Once I get a promotion at work, buy a house, have paid off my loans, take a vacation in Hawaii, maybe sell a million dollar start-up to some VC etc.

Jay Shetty in his book Think Like a Monk, drives home a very important point. He quotes a sociologist named Charles Horton Cooley from 1902 thus. “I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.” I had to read this a couple of times to let it sink in.

What he’s saying is what we all know. But it’s still so powerful. Society is not defining my success. It is me who is giving society a moving goalpost to evaluate me. Society couldn’t care less if I got one promotion or three. But my folly lies in thinking that society cares.

As my Guru asks often, “Do you even remember what shirt your friend wore a few days ago? What they ate 5 days ago? What they said 15 days ago?” No one remembers anything, except when it is relevant to themselves. No one is thinking about us, let alone about the metrics for our success. Let us live by our own scorecards. This will elevate our happiness and bring down stress and anxiety.

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Kaizen

We discussed here before the benefits of doing things small, rather than larger-than-life. Instead of having insane unachievable new year resolutions, just taking it step by step, but being consistent with it, is likely to yield far better results.

There’s a Japanese term called Kaizen, and maybe you’ve come across it before. The term refers to ‘taking small steps for continual improvement’. It is such a revolutionary yet simple idea, because the small steps make it sustainable, and the consistency compounds over time.

As James Clear beautifully puts it in his book Atomic Habits, 1% worse every day over a year, is (0.99)^365 = 0.03, whereas 1% better everyday is (1.01)^365 = 37.78. What a difference consistency makes!

Robert Maurer in The Kaizen Way talks of 6 simple strategies that can bring about big changes in a our lives over time.
1. Asking small questions.
2. Thinking small thoughts.
3. Taking small actions.
4. Solving small problems.
5. Giving small rewards.
6. Recognizing small moments.

Not how the common word is ‘small’. Big changes often only trigger subconscious fears in our brains, and these end up hampering our progress. Instead of asking “How can I be successful in my career?”, we could ask “What can I do today at my work, that is an improvement over yesterday?” Same for relationships. Asked and acted upon consistently, you can see how career-success and relationship-success will come naturally, eventually!

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Kindness cycle

Here’s a real life story that was featured in one of the local newspapers . An old but very kind and selfless doctor, kept his medical consulting practise going despite the threat of Covid. His aim? To ensure that no one who deserved medical help is denied it.

While he did this for many months, unfortunately he also contracted Covid towards the end. This led him to be hospitalized, and even moved to the ICU, where he spent over a month. Needless to say, the hospitalization costs shot through the roof.

As the doctor slowly recovered, the full realization of the exorbitant amount that would hit him on billing day became more and more apparent. How would he arrange to pay for such a large amount? What would his family say? Would he have to borrow, and at this age? The thoughts came fast and plenty.

A couple of days later, as he was getting ready to get discharged, the nurse walked up to him with the bill. Instead of a big 7-digit number, it was only a 3-digit number, just a token of having been there, as though he went to get a simple tummy ache checked. On seeing his confused look, the nurse told him that the head doctor at the hospital had recognized that this now-recovered doctor was his own professor from medical school from whom he had learned many things and also knew well about his selfless service. He and his staff immediately arranged to take care of all expenses and ensured only the best doctors attended to him.

Kindness begets kindness. We only need to learn to see it. Cheers and prayers to all the frontline healthcare workers!

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Seeing is solving

There is a saying, ‘Jaisi drishti waisi srishti’. This is nice and rhyming in Hindi/Sanskrit, but in English not so much. But the meaning is powerful – it says that the way we look at the world, is the way the world is.

An example in the Mahabharata illustrates this well. Both Duryodhana (Kaurava head, bad guy) and Yudhishtira (Pandava head, nice guy) were asked to go and find a good person in the kingdom. The story goes that at the end of the day, Duryodhana could find not even one person, whereas Yudhishtira found good qualities in everyone.

The application of this thought is more important than we give credit for. As human beings controlled by a monkey mind, we give in to mood swings all too often. When the going is good, the world seems nice and rosy, and when the tide turns, everything seems futile.

To be clear, just remembering the above saying doesn’t mean we will never encounter troubling situations in life. But having a happy mind will enable us to find solutions where none seem to exist. And that alone is the difference between those who are successful and those who are not. Because problems come to everyone. How they are tackled makes all the difference.

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No means no

Here are some examples of where/why saying ‘no’ or the equivalent, is difficult yet incredibly important.

  1. To turn down a job offer is never easy. Someone has sought you ought, evaluated you, liked you, and requested you to join them. It might even feel liberating – to get out of your current role, where you’ve been battling bosses and co-workers for years. But good and bad bosses and co-workers will be everywhere. Many offers (opportunities) will come your way, but you cannot tell yes to all of them. No will do, even if the person on the other side is very senior / successful.
  2. Leaving on time, if you have another engagement, but you are the only one in your group. Very hard! To get up and leave in the middle. Or even to request to end a Zoom call at the end of the scheduled 1 hour, even though the person on the other side is very senior. Pro tip? If you can wiggle out well, it will demonstrate to the other person how you value everyone’s time and schedule, even though having such a conversation could be difficult.
  3. Parents nowadays rarely say no to their kids. And kids know how to take advantage. Making a big scene, crying in public/crowded/closed places etc. are easy ways to force the parents to give in. But saying no, is a show of strength, as the kid learns that life does not grant every wish.
  4. Maintaining confidentiality / secrets when required is another thing I’ve seen people struggle with – all the more when the person asking is a good friend or a very senior veteran in the industry or even one of your largest clients. “How could I possibly say no?” In fact, its the other way around. If you don’t say no, the other person can safely conclude that you may be loose-lipped about their confidential information as well.
  5. Saying ‘yes’ to family members sometimes seems like a no-brainer. But relationships are complex, and saying yes can be the equivalent of falling down the rabbit hole.

In all the above examples, the ‘no’, conveyed with sensitivity rather than spite – will make all the difference. Yes is good, but in certain situations, ‘no’ is the right answer.

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Diamond wrap

Wouldn’t all the women of this world love to get a beautiful shiny diamond in a tiny box wrapped up in gift paper and love? Maybe some men too? Totally understandable. Diamonds are classy, and are a medium of expressing one’s love – especially popularized by the movies. YouTube too is full of newer and newer videos showcasing a variety of marriage proposals, sometimes in the most unlikeliest / exciting of places (like on a two-seater plane) with nice diamonds.

Okay, enough about diamonds already, you say?

But we’re only getting started! News is out about a rapper who purchased a diamond. Not any diamond, but a 11 carat one. Not any 11 carat one, but a 11 carat pink diamond.

Okay is this a big deal? I don’t know a thing about diamonds honestly, but said rapper has not just bought said diamond, but actually gone ahead and embedded (yes embedded!) it into his forehead. The stone cost him a whopping 24 million dollars, and it took him four years (!) to pay for it.

Of course everyone is free to do whatever they want with their money. However one wonders if there could not have been any other more productive / selfless / charitable way to spend this kind of moolah. But what do I know.

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E.g.b.u

Life is unpredictable. We know this, but often don’t feel it. As long as nothing happens to us, we seem oblivious to all the goings-on around us. Despite the inevitability of death, we still behave and act as though we have been bestowed with the gift of immortality. Perhaps that’s a good thing too, because just having a fatalistic view of life might mean we might never even get out of bed.

Generally speaking, most outcomes in life can be bucketed into four: expected, good, bad and unexpected. Here’s a simple example. Someone (no, not the chicken!) wants to cross the road.

  1. They can cross the road, as expected.
  2. Or they can cross the road and meet a friend – a good outcome.
  3. They can cross the road and meet someone who they owe money to – a bad outcome.
  4. Or they can cross the road and get hit by a truck – an unexpected outcome.

When we think about this, we will realize that each of the 4 outcomes are probable, and not in our hands. Still, from the time we were born, more often than not, we have either experienced only the expected or the good outcomes. We all have developed an intrinsic implicit faith, that things will happen mostly for the good. As Saint Augustine said, “Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.”

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Too much to read 4

So here’s the last of a series of thoughts on reading. This one involves a little bit of math, but is very simple – just so it drives home the point.

How much should we read? 1000 pages like Warren Buffet? That would be nice, but it would also mean that we would need to pursue reading as a full time job. Nice as it may sound, I’ve never come across such a job description!

A simpler way, is to target just 25 pages a day. This should take about half an hour. Not much at all. If we assume we sleep 8 hours and work 8 hours, we still have 8 hours left in the day. Half an hour in these eight hours is less than 10% of the time spent reading.

The magic happens as the reading practice compounds along. 25 pages a day, is 175 a week – which means roughly one book every 2 weeks, and ~26 books or ~10,000 pages a year – an incredible achievement for anyone who wasn’t reading much to begin with!

One important and final tip – do not count searching for the right book as part of your reading time – otherwise you can lose hours just searching for the right material. All the perfect books may not present themselves to you on day 1 itself – but I keep searching Amazon Books for new and upcoming releases periodically, and keep adding those to a wishlist/readlist. Works well. Put the posts ‘Too much to read 1-2-3-4’ together, and this should help us kickstart our reading journeys. Hope you liked it!

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Too much to read 3

A few more thoughts on reading as one of the best habits one can have. I was super lucky because my parents introduced me to reading very early in life, and holidays meant hitting the local libraries and devouring whatever books I could find my hands on. Initially, I used to read only fiction, but eventually I realized that non-fiction is where all the learning and development happens.

But it wasn’t easy – books weren’t available as easily three decades ago as it is today. Certainly not at the click of a button and delivered wirelessly over ‘whispernet’. However, there weren’t as many distractions as today either – perhaps making the act of reading itself more sustainable.

Technology does have a very good flip side though. Not only can we store 1000s of books in a flat e-reader, but we can also look up instant dictionaries, highlight items for future reference, make notes, export key paragraphs and more. And finding specific mentions across books was never easier. Tech is also awesome because of other formats like audio books, podcasts, and so on.

As my Guru says, the way to read a book, is to go in with full reverence to the author. To imagine that the author is himself/herself speaking to you through the pages, and personally sharing with you, decades of inimitable experience, all within just 300 pages! Such an amazing way to think about reading, isn’t it?

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Too much to read 2

Continuing on from yesterday, there is too much to read, but not enough time, isn’t it?

Yesterday’s takeaway was to focus on finding high-quality sources of information in just two categories:
a) your niche
b) general knowledge about how the world really works”

Point ‘a’ we probably are bombarded with inputs (emails, reports, whitepapers etc.) anyway from work. Even if not, we can look for specific books written on these topics (I like to keep looking at new and upcoming releases on Amazon and add them to my wishlist), or blogs that we can subscribe to.

Point ‘b’ most people probably do not focus on much, and this in my view can help each one of us build a serious edge – especially if it can be combined with ‘a’. How can we do this? One way is to read all your childhood textbooks – from grade 1 to grade 12, and then beyond. The wealth of knowledge in them is just outstanding – although we have mostly forgotten everything.

Point ‘c’, which is not mentioned above, is to actively reject all materials that do not fall under ‘a’ or ‘b’. This is very hard to do, as I’ve seen from personal experience. A link from a friend or family member, on to social media posts can lead us unto a clickthrough journey to nowhere.

Point ‘d’ (loosely subsumed under point ‘b’), is to also include reading one post on spirituality, spending just 30 seconds a day. This blog is one way to do that! 🙂

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Too much to read 1

We all know that reading is a good habit. Most hyper-successful people in fact suggest that they got to where they are only because they read a lot. A few hours a day at least. Warren Buffet for instance reads between 600 and 1000 pages – nope not in a month or a year, but every single day! He dedicates 80% of his day to reading.

Which got me thinking. A lot of us read a lot too – nowhere near Mr. Buffet perhaps, but we do get plenty of links on Whatsapp and LinkedIn and we read the news everyday – and there is just so much of information (mostly nonsense). Does that count as reading? What about fiction novels – does that count as reading? We probably know deep down that reading Harry Potter, Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys or Mills & Boon don’t count as very productive reading – at least not in the material world as adults – unless we are budding authors.

So what should we read then? Here’s a nice tweet by Shane Parrish I came across, which addresses this:

"While information continues to compound, our ability to digest it is limited. We need to filter. But how?
Invest an abnormal amount of time finding high-quality sources of information in two categories:
a) your niche
b) general knowledge about how the world really works"

How can we apply this? More tomorrow…

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Gaming rewards

There is a genre of gaming called MMORPG. It stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games.

Probably the most famous of them all is World of Warcraft. It basically involves a whole host of players, sometimes thousands of them, all joining from various parts of the world and playing together, or against one another in various groups. Counterstrike is another famous such game that has players teaming up to fight off other teams.

In all such games, the goal is to win, and the reward is for the whole community / group / team.

But life is not like this. Our goal is happiness. A few may win, but most will be quite far off. There are a lot of decoys too, along the path.

But unlike in a game, there is no community or social reward for happiness. It is purely a single player experience.

And an astute one, who realizes this is all just a game, wins without any fixation on the material rewards.

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Bovinity

Stress, anxiety, frustration, irritation. We all go through it.

The biggest challenge is going through life itself. We seem to barely have enough time for work and sleep. Weekends come and go as if a blur.

All of life for everyone around us seems to be nothing more than a rat race. We are constantly running. Towards what? Nobody seems to know. Will the race end? Seemingly never.

The worst part? Even if we win the rat race, we will remain a rat only. Is that what we want? Scurrying and scampering about mindlessly?

One solution – take part in a cow race instead. What? If you haven’t had the chance, then you must see some cows in India. They will be sitting in the middle of a highway sometimes, smaller roads sometimes – but always unbelievably oblivious to the traffic around them. No matter what happens, they do not let the outside world bother them. And because of their gentle disposition as well as their generous nature (sharing their milk for one and all), they are considered not just bovine, but divine as well. May we begin the transformation from rat to cow!

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Drive through

The Gita says that each one of us has had multiple births in the past. Millions, billions, I don’t know, maybe countless births. The soul keeps changing from one body to the next. Probably once an ant, to once a deer to once a human being and so on. It also adds that attaining liberation is possible via a human birth alone – because only in this birth do we have the ability and capacity to understand what liberation really means and takes. In all these births, we have in one way or another been associated with all the people around us. In one, today’s sister may have been an uncle. In another, today’s uncle may have been a grand-daughter, and so on.

This is somewhat like an experience most people who love to drive would have had, especially long distance. More often than not, on short patches of maybe 50 kilometres, we will find another vehicle that drives at nearly the same speed, and maintain a temporary unsaid relationship. Navigating through the same traffic, passing the same slow cars in equal frustration (followed by relief), once taking the lead, once falling behind, almost having a mini unarticulated drag race. You know it’s nothing, yet the feeling of a duel is palpable, even if only to yourself and the other driver, while all other passengers are blissfully unaware. And then one car, either yours or theirs, needs to make a pit stop – to buy water, to drink some chai, to have a bite, to fill some petrol, or just take another path. And the race is over, almost abruptly. Only to be resumed a few kilometres later, but this time with another vehicle. And another after that, and another. The cycle repeats ad infinitum. Until the journey itself comes to an end, i.e. liberation.

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Reply

Is there a way to make someone happy and praise them while also keeping the bar high? Here’s how my Guru did it once.

Many years ago, one of the satsangis went to him for advice. The satsangi was a bit nervous, as he told Guruji that this was his first time speaking in public on the Gita, and that he was a little scared. Guruji asked him which chapter was assigned to him. He said, “Chapter 7, Guruji.”

Guruji replied thus:
1. Wow, chapter 7, such a beautiful chapter, I’m so happy you got it! [infusing happiness]
2. You know what? My first talk too was on chapter 7. It is easy, and I know your capability, you can do it. [genuine praise]
3. I also prepared hard for it – I had read the chapter over 500 times, so that my session is worth my audience’s time. [setting the bar high]

Isn’t this such an inspiring reply, and something for us to learn?

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Successfool

Why material success is important
better quality of life
more amount for charity
more time for social work (i.e. your wealth has brought you freedom)
brings temporary happiness
the world wants you, which is important for getting worldly things done

Why material success is not important
fuels the ego
is only a relative measure versus peers
limits learning (we feel we know everything)
only brings temporary happiness
a world that wants you, capsizes you
has no bearing on spiritual growth

What if we could live physically in the world as though successful, but mentally give up all success to the Lord / Guru / Divine? Win-win!

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How to be equanimous

One of the mainstays for a liberated life according to the Bhagavad Gita, is samatvam or equanimity. This is also called having sama darshanam or equity in vision, i.e. looking at everything as inherently the same, irrespective of whether it is good or bad, pleasure or pain, joy or sorrow and so on.

To live comfortably and mentally unblemished in the face of criticism, one must begin by eschewing praise. We cannot have the proverbial cake and eat it too. We want equanimity in hardship, but our pleasure receptors shoot through the roof in the slightest hint of praise and recognition.

How can we then practically be equanimous? When the boss says “Wow you’ve done amazing work here, you deserve this promotion!”, do we just scowl at him and walk away? Or do we say “No sir, it wasn’t me.” The boss is then likely to keep the promotion/bonus for himself 🙂

The way prescribed in the scriptures, is ‘surrender’. Surrender with faith, to the divine, or if that’s too abstract, then to the Guru. In Hindi, sur means head. So putting your head under the Guru or ishta devata, offering everything to him or her. Everything means all good and all bad without distinction. So grab that promotion by all means, but mentally prostrate and offer it to your deity of choice. This will keep us grounded, always. Difficult, but worth it.

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Rich is poor

Know what 80% of the people chose in a research study? See the two options. a) Make US$ 36,000 in a firm where the starting salary was US$ 40,000. or b) Make US$ 34,000 in a firm where the average salary was US$ 30,000. 80% chose the latter. That’s what would make them happy. Can you imagine that? We all want to be happy, but that happiness it seems, is governed not just by our own possessions, but also those of the others around us. i.e. Wealth is relative, not absolute.

I saw that it was the artificial needs of life that made me a slave; the real needs of life were few

William James Dawson

We’ve explored here previously the concept of the hedonic treadmill. We are running on one, where no matter how fast we go, we never seem to reach our destination. And we are often running not even for ourselves, but for others. No wonder then, that happiness is but fleeting.

As Benjamin Franklin wisely observed, “It is the eyes of others and not our own eyes that ruin us. If all the world were blind except myself I should not care for fine clothes or furniture.”

Epicurus said beautifully, “Contented poverty is an honourable estate. Indeed, if it be contented, it is not poverty at all. It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”

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DK boss

Look around you. At work, at the gym, in your social media feeds etc. How many people are really really successful and good at something? And how many just make a lot of noise? Okay, identifying this on social media could be hard, because everyone always puts their best foot forward. But is it really possible that everyone around us, is doing super duper amazing work, all the time?

There’s a principle called the Dunning-Kruger effect. It refers to cases where people significantly overstate their abilities, without realizing it, because they are too incompetent in the first place to even realize that they are incapable. Have you come across any such people? Many people? Maybe your boss? Your employee? Your colleagues? Most of your friends? There are so many people in the all talk and no do bucket.

A very simple mistake we can make here though is to solely evaluate others. Pointing fingers at others is too easy. But the above is meant squarely for each one of us, or definitely at least for me. I need to accept that there is much I do not know, much I am not good at – and being humble about it, I can attempt to bridge my ignorance with knowledge, and inability with practice.

Relevant here is one of Albert Einstein’s less referenced quotes. It is simple yet profound, and also a math equation!

1 / Knowledge = Ego

More the knowledge, lesser the ego, and vice versa. How cool is that?

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Over and over

A question arises, “Why should I keep doing the same things over and over?” Why read our scriptures daily. If we’ve read it once, that should be enough no? Or why participate in satsang as many times as possible? Why not just listen to one lecture once and then implement and chill?

Marcel Proust, one of the greatest French authors of the 20th century said “”The real voyage of discovery consists, not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

As the story goes, a child asked his grandpa why he was repeatedly reading the Gita. To which grandpa asked the child to fetch water from the nearby river, but in a basket. The child did as instructed, but obviously much of the water leaked out through the gaps in the basket. The grandpa asked the child to go and get water, again and again, and each time most of the water had leaked out. Finally, when the child was frustrated, the grandpa asked his grandson to look at the basket closely. This child remarked, “Wow, the the basket has now got cleaned so nicely!”, exactly like how the mind would need to be cleaned by multiple readings.

My Guru follows this principle very closely, and takes it a step further – adding that reading alone is not enough, but acting upon the lessons learned is critical. Like the Chinese philosopher Confucius once said. “I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand”.

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Ritualistic

There is only one true reason to perform rituals, as my Guru says. And that is, to purify the mind.

What does purification of the mind mean? At one level, it involves destroying the mind altogether. In a non-violent manner of course. We all know our monkey-minds are always going off on tangents, ever seeking more and more. What if this mind could come under control? Very difficult? I agree!

At another (and maybe more easier, and more tangible) level, purifying the mind involves broadening its scope. For most of us, our lives revolve only around ourselves – our wants, needs, desires. But what if we could include others, friends, family, acquaintances, strangers – eventually the whole world, especially all the good people – into our vision of goodness? What if we could desire good for all?

Herein lies the beauty of my Guru’s recommendations. Do the rituals you like, but perform them for the larger benefit of society. Chanting some shlokas? Excellent, chant for mother earth. Doing charity? Wonderful. Keep aside 10% of your income, no matter how small. Use the remaining 90% – invest it, let it compound – have it your way. But the 10% that you’ve decided to give away – that will begin to purify your mind. Because the human mind has been trained for countless generations to simply do everything it can to survive and sustain. There is more to life than that though. As the ancients tell us, the real magic happens when the ego melts away. That will happen when we truly believe that nothing belongs to ‘us’, and the mind merges with the universal mind.

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Turning a new leaf

Here are a few examples.

  1. The great Saint Valmiki was previously a dacoit. Daaku Ratnakar was his name, and he lived under the false impression that all his nefarious activities were supported by his family members. The same family when questioned though, told him that they would take none of his bad karma from said activities. “You are the father, it is your duty to provide for us, and if you loot or plunder to feed us, that is your headache.” Moved immensely by this, he went into deep meditation and transformed into a saint and the author of the Indian epic Ramayana.
  2. Alfred Nobel, the creator of the Nobel prize, was originally the creator of dynamite. He also owned several hundred factories that manufactured explosives and munitions for use in warfare. He had over 300 patents to his name including for designs for nitro-glycerine detonators, blasting caps and a smokeless gunpowder called ballistite. In 1888, Nobel’s brother Ludvig Nobel died from a heart attack. One French newspaper mistakenly believed that it was Alfred Nobel who had perished, and it wrote a scathing obituary, branding him a “merchant of death” who had grown rich by developing new ways to “mutilate and kill.” Alfred was so jarred by this unexpectedly early posthumous review, that he had to make amends, resulting in large donations to charity and the institution of the now famous Nobel prizes.
  3. In the world of investing, a new focus is ESG – Environment, Social and Governance – with an attempt to be conscious of the impact of one’s financial decisions. Interestingly, some of the torchbearers in this field are precisely those that made their corpus from exactly the opposite – plundering the earth’s resources, benefiting from child labour and other malpractices.

True change can indeed happen. The catalyst can be outside us, or inside – in the mind. It is up to us to decide what we want, and how badly we want it.

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Blindspots

Just because something is invisible to the eye, or appears beyond our comprehension and perception, does not make it non-existent or fraudulent. Take the example of gravity. Despite all the advancements in science and technology, we still do not understand the process behind why people drinking tea simultaneously at the North and South poles have no problem keeping the liquids in their cups. Take also the human body – with a plethora activities going on inside at any moment – digestion, cognition, respiration etc. all of which we tend to be blissfully unaware of.

The same is said to be true of Consciousness. It is very much there – the fabric underlying all Creation. There for everyone to experience, if scrutinized closely, yet immediately unavailable to any. This is not a paradox, as author Sam Harris of the outstanding book Waking Up (which delves deep into the topic of human consciousness) puts it. He goes on to describe an optic blindspot that each one of us has, and something I never knew of. Apparently the optic nerve passes through the retina of each eye, creating a small region in each visual field where we are effectively blind. He further adds that most people in human history have been totally unaware of the optic blind spot. Even those of us who know about it go for decades without noticing it. And yet, it is always there, right on the surface of experience. Here’s a simple experiment you can try yourself!

So, can we experience this Atman / Brahman / Consciousness within us? Yes, with some training / effort / meditation. As Harris puts it, “The self that I am discussing throughout this book—the illusory, albeit reliable, source of so much suffering and confusion—is the feeling that there is an inner subject, behind our eyes, thinking our thoughts and experiencing our experience. We must distinguish between the self and the myriad mental states—self-recognition, volition, memory, bodily awareness—with which it can be associated.

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Money thoughts

A few things to keep in mind about money/wealth/status, which everyone craves so much:

  1. No one cares about your wealth as much as you do. Others don’t admire your possessions. They only imagine themselves having said possessions.
  2. The more money/wealth/status one displays, the more the envy/jealousy/hatred that is likely to build up against them. Some of the richest people in the world live very frugally.
  3. Money and wealth are good, as long as we control them and not the other way around.
  4. Wealth brings freedom, because it can buy time. One can then choose what to do with their time, rather than live by the rules of someone else. This is an end goal for most, rather than a starting point.
  5. Spirituality helps build wealth, as it emphasizes reducing desires and sense pleasures, which in turn reduce expenses. Savings can then be invested. Wealth is the gap between what you have and what you want or spend.
  6. You can only really afford something, if you can buy 2 or 3 or 4 of the that same thing.
  7. It is important to teach your kids to be self sufficient. Giving them big allowances now will allow you to see them happy today, but they will struggle in the future, unable to understand the value of money, and left without survival skills.
  8. What amount of wealth / money you desire is something only you can decide. Comparisons will only hurt.
  9. The happiness from giving is infinitely more than that from getting.

What are your thoughts on money?

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The two Ps

There are two somewhat interlinked concepts in Hinduism.

One is prarabdha or that portion of our karmic balance that we are to experience in this life. Our birth into a good pious, self-sufficient and contented family is such an example. If we have this, we are lucky. Because many do not have even this.

The other, is purushartha. Which refers to the efforts put in by an individual, to achieve his goals. The goals have been divided into four – dharma (duty), artha (wealth), kaama (love) and moksha (liberation). These are loose translations, but in effect provide goals for us to live by and pursue. The ultimate goal is moksha of course, and achieving it dharmically, while having requisite artha and family life is considered ideal.

The problem arises when people are bestowed with excellent prarabdha, but fritter it away due to lack of or undirected purushartha. Being introduced to a satsang, finding a Guru, or rather a Guru finding you, having the company of noble and wise people, having the luxury of a good primary education etc. are nothing short of great karmic gifts – because we in our current lives hardly did anything to deserve these. And yet, people are unable to make time for an hour of satsang, or a week of seva to the Guru or some other means of giving back.

Everything we got, on a platter as it were, is prarabdha. Because there are so many people out there putting 10x the efforts getting 0.01% of the results you and I get. Prarabdha is gotten already, but purushartha is what we do with it. i.e. Destiny versus free will.

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Animal king

We know who the king of the jungle is, right? He’s the strongest, fastest, largest and cleverest animal of them all.

Wait, I thought ‘strongest’ was the elephant. And ‘largest’ animal should be the blue whale? And ‘cleverest’, the fox? The fastest surely is the cheetah. But none of these guys are the kings!

The king is one who may not be the best at everything, but is able to keep it all together, and exude a level of confidence that no other member of the kingdom is able to.

We think lions and tigers have a chilled out life, sitting cushy at the top of the food chain. But no, they struggle too. The males have to constantly guard their territory and females from other usurper males. The females have to constantly look out for the safety of their kids, not just from said usurpers, but also from the father lion who might kill the babies seeing them as a threat to his status. When it comes to food, most hunts end in failure, with mom and babies having to go to bed hungry for days together – and so it is not as easy as it seems.

Nature never has it easy on anyone. That’s the cycle of life. One has to work hard to earn their living, or at least to sustain their lifestyle. This is a universal truth, applicable in past lives, this life, and the next.

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True greatness

Traditionally, we equate greatness to money, wealth, fame, riches, cars, bungalows, yachts, CEOs, Chairmen, senior management, foreign travel, foreign vacations, first and business class, limousines and a variety of other things.

But Martin Luther King Jr. had the final word on this.

Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.

He understood that greatness wasn’t about oneself, but how much one could use themselves for others.

No different from what Lord Krishna states in the Gita. As my Guru observes in the purport after chapter 13 verse 26 in his Amazing Simple Gita, “Many missions have realized that if we keep only the goal of realising the Lord we will tend towards laziness with only arguments and discussions. Prabhupad for example made it very clear that devotion means devotional service, chanting sixteen malas, trikala pooja etc is important but afterwards what will we be doing – we should be doing seva (service), spreading this knowledge, making more and more people noble and good.”

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Jail time

We envy the lucky. Here are some thoughts running through the minds of these oh-so-fortunate people:

Looking in the mirror, I wish I had a better nose, two dimples and sharper features.

At work, with my boss and colleagues and employees, am I really fitting in? Or am I just being tolerated?

With the spouse – not much in terms of common topics it seems. And those days of courtship from two decades ago…gone!

When I wake up in the morning, why do I feel lethargic? Why do Monday morning blues haunt me?

My kids are happy and well trained, but they have no time for me.

Is there really a difference between the lucky and the not so lucky? Is luck always good? Are the lucky (and envied) truly free? Or are they too, prisoners of their thoughts?

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Meditation and thoughts – 3

We looked at meditation and thoughts over the last couple of days. Much is written and said about supernatural experiences, lights, out of body experiences and other fantastical stuff. Here’s a gist of how my Guru looks at this subject.

His questions are: Can you be calm when your peer makes 5x your salary and drives a Ferrari? Can you stay placid when your boss throws a fit, and expects you to clean up? Can you be equanimous in the face of nonsense peddled by many many unavoidable people around you? What is the use of meditation and magical experiences, if these leave you completely untransformed? Still the same jealousy, anger, pride, hatred et al.

Hence, my Guru’s focus has always been not on meditation, but on living a meditative life. It is not about sitting and closing one’s eyes for 60 minutes, especially not if the remaining 23 hours are spent on ungodly pursuits. His goal is to infuse godliness into every waking moment. Transform from a material person living a spiritual life, to a spiritual person also happening to live a material life. And hence a spiritual person asking for a promotion and a raise is alright because his nobility will ensure he uses his wealth primarily to give back to society.

How can one spiritualize themselves? By doing the true tapas. By holding God steady in their minds. For the atheistic and agnostic, by not holding themselves only in their minds, but holding the service of others steady in their minds. Unflinchingly. The beauty is that this can be equally hard or easy for both a commoner and a king.

Swami Chinmayananda was once asked how many hours in a day one should practise meditation. His answer? 24 hours.

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Meditation and thoughts – 2

Continuing on from yesterday, here are some more ideas on meditation that I came across, and which have helped my practice.

By practicing mindfulness, however, one can awaken from the dream of discursive thought and begin to see each arising image, idea, or bit of language vanish without a trace. What remains is consciousness itself, with its attendant sights, sounds, sensations, and thoughts appearing and changing in every moment.
In the beginning of one’s meditation practice, the difference between ordinary experience and what one comes to consider “mindfulness” is not very clear, and it takes some training to distinguish between being lost in thought and seeing thoughts for what they are.
In this sense, learning to meditate is just like acquiring any other skill.
Eventually, it begins to seem as if you are repeatedly awakening from a dream to find yourself safely in bed. No matter how terrible the dream, the relief is instantaneous. And yet it is difficult to stay awake for more than a few seconds at a time.

Conclusion and takeaways tomorrow!

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Meditation and thoughts – 1

To anyone who’s tried meditating, we know it is hard. As beginners, the first thought is, “Are we doing this right?”. And then the thoughts never cease to flow. One after another after another they come, bringing a whole host of memories, both pleasant and unpleasant, catapulting us into the distant future, and suddenly yanking us back again into the past. Is this how meditation is always supposed to be? So many mystic / yogic accounts speak of supernatural states, kaleidoscopic lights, unblemished ecstasy and myriad other things. What to make of it? I don’t know, but here are a few pointers I came across in a book called Waking Up by Sam Harris, that might help in meditation practice.

The problem is not thoughts themselves but the state of thinking without knowing that we are thinking.
In fact, thoughts of all kinds can be perfectly good objects of mindfulness.
In the early stages of one’s practice, however, the arising of thought will be more or less synonymous with distraction—that is, with a failure to meditate.
Most people who believe they are meditating are merely thinking with their eyes closed.

Continued in tomorrow’s post…

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Time and tide

Apparently there are some 3 billion Gods in Hinduism. There is a God for everything. For getting pregnant, for money, for status – even for getting a visa to work abroad! Having so many Gods allows the religion to be very flexible. If you believe one thing over another, then you can just switch to another God who’s rules and regulations align better to your thought process, nay current requirements.

One God though, that presides over all, is Maha Kaal. He is considered to be Lord Shiva, and also a personification of Time itself, kaal meaning time.

When we’re on the last day of work before a two week vacation, that particular day in the office will just seem to crawl by annoyingly slowly. When we’re in the vacation itself though, the days will seem to slip by agonizingly quickly. “What? It’s the fifth day of our beach vacation already? We need to head back soon, oh no.”

There is a lot to learn from Time In the above all-too-familiar examples, we know that time itself never changed. Only our perceptions of it moved around. We know this, but still struggle with time management. It seems like there is never enough time. But as Maha Kaal will tell us, the speed of Time remains unchanged, only our mind believes so. What can we do?

We can start by acknowledging this truth. That there will never be enough time for doing everything. But there will certainly be enough time for all your priorities. Prioritization makes all the difference.

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Twit quot 1

While there is a lot of bad press associated with social media, there is one big positive that I’ve found. And that is people’s quotes on life / spirituality. Sure, some might be copied off of some other book, maybe even our scriptures, but reading these are just amazing, and make me think. A few are shared here, picked randomly, from Twitter.

You won't lose respect for saying "I don't know". But you will lose respect for making things up.
Don't let money get in the way of wealth
You always have the option of having no opinion.
The mind gives up before the body.
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Left shoe

Years ago, Swedish shoe shops were being looted by a shoe-mafia. This gang would hit the stores in the wee hours of the night. Next morning, the shoe shop owners would find something unique. Only the left-shoe of each pair of shoes would be gone. The right-shoe would still be on display, untouched.

This was a huge mystery. The shoe-mafia went untraced for the longest time.

More importantly, the question on everyone’s minds, was what was the gang doing with only the left shoe? Surely you need the right-shoe as well, to make a pair, so that someone could wear it?

The mystery was solved much much later, when they discovered another shoe-mafia in Denmark. This gang would hit shoe stores of the same type, but steal only the right-shoes of each pair! The two gangs worked together, and that completed the puzzle.

In life too, we are running after many left shoes – money, wealth, status, accolades, cars, yachts, houses etc. These are fine by themselves, but can never be complete without the right shoes – health, diet, exercise, love, spirituality, meditation, family-time etc. The choice is in our hands.

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Life changing thoughts

In the book ‘How to Change Your Life by Changing Your Thoughts’ written by James Allen, there are some outstanding lines of thought provoking advice. A few highlights:

Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.
Not what he wishes and prays for does a man get, but what he justly earns. His wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they harmonize with his thoughts and actions.
Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but they are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.
Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results. This is but saying that nothing can come from corn but corn. Men understand this law in the natural world, but not in the mental and moral world.
Blessedness, not material possessions, is the measure of right thought. Wretchedness, not lack of material possessions, is the measure of wrong thought.
The world is your kaleidoscope, and the varying combinations of colours, which at every succeeding moment it presents to you, are the exquisitely adjusted pictures of your ever moving thoughts.
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The secret converter

Years ago we…

… had a problem at work, but today that is a laughing matter
… had a major fight with the other kids at school, but today that is a laughing matter
… had a complaint to your parents from the principal, but today that is a laughing matter
… had an altercation with a close friend, but today that is a laughing matter
… had a major argument with the spouse, but today that is a laughing matter
… had a tussle with the landlord, but today that is a laughing matter
… had an issue with your kids’ schooling, but today that is a laughing matter
… had so many worries about the future, but today that is a laughing matter
… had so much stress and tension about…something, don’t even remember, but today that is a laughing matter

Looking back from today, all those anxieties and worries – everything has been forgotten, and got converted into nothing more than a laughing matter – what a miracle, isn’t it?!

Now that we know and understand everything gets converted into a laughing matter in the future, why not laugh today itself?

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Best friend, worst friend

Remember when as kids, we used to have things like katti and bacchi? Stick your thumb out and that would mean good friend. And stick your pinky finger out and that would become sworn enemy. And a friend of a friend is a friend, and enemy of an enemy is an enemy. But of course, we were kids, so allegiances would change mighty quickly! You want to play soccer and there is only one kid who owns the ball? Everyone wants to be bacchi with him. Kids also are very quick to say (often to the face) “That girl – she’s my friend, but this girl? She’s my best friend” much to the embarrassment of the parents!

Those days are past, and we have outgrown these best friend worst friend monikers. There is still one best/worst friend though for each one of us. And it is not only simultaneously both best and worst friend, but also the same for all of us! Guessed it? The mind!

As verse 6.5 in the Gita says, ‘Elevate yourself through the power of your mind, and not degrade yourself, for the mind can be the friend and also the enemy of the self.

How can we make sure that the mind remains our friend, and not enemy? By eventually replacing all desires and attachments with gratitude. If desire comes in between mind and intellect, then they squabble. If there are no desires, and work is done as a service to benefit mankind or at the instruction of the Guru, then the mind and intellect on the spiritual path are best friends!

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Vedic chants

Vedic mantras can be really powerful. There are experiments that have been conducted across the world, which demonstrate how vedic chants including the right intonations, can alter the energies of a place.

Chanted right in a hospital for instance, can not just uplift patients’ moods, but also improve their health. It is also considered a wonderful breathing exercise, given the tempo of chanting and length of the verses.

Even a simple ‘Aum’ or ‘Om’, chanted 3, 7 or 9 times in succession can bring much peace and clarity. No controlled experiments necessary – you may just try this right now!

However, said vedic mantras are not like some magic trick. They work based on certain principles that modern science doesn’t understand. The most important aspect, is that these are aimed at altering and improving our Consciousness. And hence, it is not enough if the sound-speaker in the kitchen is blaring a vedic chant, while I am in another room watching TV. The kitchen might get moksha, but not me!

Likewise, it is in no way sufficient if I chant hymns for an hour a day, only to follow it up with abusive language, extreme desire prompted actions, significant anger and jealousy etc. If I am not mindful about how I live my life, no amount of chanting or prayer will help. On the contrary, it might only make me more conceited – because now I have the feeling that not only am I a good person, but I’m also a great person, owing to my prayers and chants. A fall will be around the corner.

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Right arrows

The relationship we are all used to:

Hard work   ---->   Success   ---->   Happiness

The relationship suggested in our scriptures:

Gratitude   ---->   Happiness   ---->  Hard work   ---->   Success

Which of these do you feel is more sustainable? Which is easier to practise?

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Shock and Awe 5

Time again for another Shock and Awe post.

Quoting below from the free Amazing Simple Gita.

  1. When we want anything, our mind starts getting perturbed. Are we getting it? or Not? Our mind is disturbed and finds no peace.
  2. 4 important points for peace:
    1. Give up all desires that come to your mind.
    2. Also give up all attachments.
    3. Give up “I”…the feeling I did it, I was responsible etc.
    4. Give up ‘mine’. The possessions, the feeling of mine which separates you from ‘all’, i.e. the Lord
  3. A person attains actionlessness not by withdrawing from action, but by renouncing fruits of actions

What simple yet splendid takeaways!

An important point, is that all of the above are at the mind level. In the material physical world, we need to behave with common sense. Also, these are ‘destination’ verses, and not necessarily something we can perfect in just a short time.

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Oh stress

Everyone is stressed today. Even toddlers, in the face of gargantuan expectations of success from their parents.

The sheer number of kids competing in junior Olympiads, reality TV shows for best dancer, best singer, best chef and what not. Many more categories have been added by the hour, surely.

If these are done with love, fun and enjoyment, then absolutely no problem. But in reality (pun intended), these are for quick fame, and quicker moolah.

If childhood itself begins with stress, little chance of youth or young adulthood and beyond not going down the same path. If childhood itself begins with fierce competition – and not everyone wins every single time – then what is to say of later life?

As noted previously here, it is important to take life sincerely, but not seriously.

Bertrand Russell had the last say on this, ‘If you’re beginning to think that what you’re doing is very important, you need to take a holiday.’

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Giving advice

If someone comes up to you for advice, the best and only to way give any guidance, should be without expectations. Why?

Here’s someone who wants to know from you whether to do xyz or not. The following 4 outcomes are possible, assuming they follow your advice.

  1. You suggest they do xyz. They do it, and good happens. You were right, but they will attribute it to themselves.
  2. You suggest they do xyz. They do it, and bad happens. You were wrong, and they will attribute it to you.
  3. You suggest they do not do xyz. They don’t do it, and bad happens. You were wrong, and they will attribute it to you.
  4. You suggest they do not do xyz. They don’t do it, and good happens. You were right, but they will attribute it to themselves.

In all cases, you get no recognition. Does that mean we stop helping others? Absolutely not. But when we do so, we must have the best intentions in mind while guiding them, whilst having zero expectations. The end result is not in our control. And so expecting praise in return is foolhardy.

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536 AD

Did you just have the worst day, week or month ever? Yes, we’ve all had it bad – a terrible pandemic is wreaking havoc. And unfortunately, so many people have suffered immensely, many are dead too. But if you’re reading this, you’re at least alive. For many people, this year has been more of an inconvenience than anything worse. Still, there is no dearth of people cribbing despite the various conveniences they have got – including more time with family, more time with nature, lesser time spent commuting etc.

One way to remain mentally balanced, is to remember that things could have been much worse. How much worse, you ask? We need only look back to historian accounts of the year 536 AD. That is the year when a volcano in Iceland erupted. It sent such large volumes of ash into the atmosphere, that the whole earth was blanketed in smog – so much so that the sun could not be seen. Many parts of the world remained in darkness for two full years! Other consequences? The earth’s climate went for a toss resulting in droughts and starvation. The world economy went into depression. Enough already? This was then followed by a bubonic plague, wiping out 100 million people, nearly 50% of the world’s population at the time.

All this while not having TVs, computers, smartphones, internet and pretty much any technology. Today, we literally have everything, and have many many reasons to be happy. Yet many choose to isolate and focus only on the negatives. Let 536 AD be our wake up call.

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Karmic cricket

In a recent cricket test match between India and Australia, the Indian captain Ajinkya Rahane was lauded by even his harshest critics. That the man showed what good sportsmanship is, cannot be denied. However, it wasn’t rosy. In just the match before, a judgement error on his part caused him to run his partner Virat Kohli out. Rahane apologized, but the latter was obviously frustrated and disappointed, and he let it show.

As fate would have it, in the second test, while Rahane was batting really well, it was now his turn to be run-out. But he showed no sign of frustration or anger. Instead, he coolly went over to his partner Ravindra Jadeja (who was responsible for the run out), put his hand on his shoulder, and encouraged him to carry on. What a nice gesture!

For the record, all three players mentioned above are nothing short of amazing, have contributed to Indian cricket by leaps and bounds, and this post is not a relative comparison – only an unbiased description of the facts. To me, there are many things to learn from the sport, including patience, sportsmanship, doggedness, passive aggression, fitness and positivity among others.

One thing stands out though. And that is a reflection of karmic cycle. Each man is facing his own battle, no matter the trend of the war. The team could be winning the match, but the captain might get out for a duck. The batsmen might score the highest total ever, only to be let down by the subsequent bowling attack. Four out of five bowlers might take a wicket-an-over while the fifth might be walloped for 6 sixes. The team might lift the trophy, but for the serial underperformer this might very well be the last match. The possibilities are endless. Each man to himself. We can only do our best, and leave the rest!

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Free size

Here’s the thing about self-help and spirituality. One size rarely fits all. The goal is the same – to attain moksha or liberation. But the paths are many. Krishna tells Arjuna about karma yoga, bhakti yoga and jnana yoga in the Gita. Even within these, the actual methods to be followed could be different. One might see great success following a 15-minute meditation plan a day. Others might struggle despite an hour of chanting.

In Dale Carnegie’s (DC) How to Win Friends and Influence People, there is a superb statement. The secret he says, is to interest people and build in them a genuine want, if you need them to do something for you. He gives a couple of solid examples too – such as how to get an irate tenant to pay his full rent rather than leave midway, and how a poor newspaper owner got a celebrity to write a star column on his paper.

But as he himself says, a common pushback would be, “Hey these examples are fine, but do these principles work for the tough monsters I have to face in my daily life?”

Here is DC’s amazing response. “You may be right. Nothing will work in all cases. And nothing will work with all people. If you are satisfied with the results you are now getting, then why change? If you are not satisfied, then why not experiment?”

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The baby brain

There is a concept called the ‘beginner brain’. Maybe you’ve heard of it. We could also call it the baby brain. It is a super useful concept, and also very easy to apply.

The idea is this. Why do babies learn so much and why do they enjoy it? Because they have no past reference points, of what is good or bad, and what is successful or not. They hence have zero expectations and are able to joyously accept all their experiences as learnings.

Can we do this in our daily lives? We tend to approach all our situations with the ‘expert brain’. Despite knowing the tendencies of an irate boss, can we still go into the meeting room with no expectations? Despite having a world of desires to fulfil, can we still embark on our day to day projects without worrying about the result? And can we respond calmly during the torrid times in our relationships, because we switch on our baby brains and have no expectations from our partner/spouse? Surely these are difficult, and progress will come over time.

But there are a few things we can start off with, to help the process. For example, without worrying about the meeting with your boss, you could tell yourself that every meeting is a new one, with new possibilities, and be grateful that you have a job in such tough times. Instead of being frustrated by your better-half because he/she doesn’t meet your standards, you could view them in new light, acknowledge that they’re just trying to be happy, that you both share good intentions, and they are struggling just like you are. Over time, this practise helps us be more flexible, open, curious, grateful and present in the moment.

Even before that, want to just test what it feels like to have a baby brain? Try brushing / combing / eating with your non-dominant hand. Have fun!

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Intel(lect) inside

A quick follow up to the Mind versus Intellect post from a few days ago. On the spiritual path, it is said that the intellect is a barrier. But why is that?

Because we are taught in life that we must understand everything before doing anything. Such as “Don’t mug your physics and chemistry formulae, try to understand it.” or “Try to understand your client’s needs before jumping to offer her a solution”. This is good for the real world no doubt.

But on the spiritual path, it is difficult to understand without experiencing. For instance, how can you understand a God that you have never seen? How can you post faith in a Guru if you don’t have a first-hand understanding of his miraculous ways? How can you meditate on chakras and nadis when these are hopelessly intangible? The intellect can indeed be the biggest barrier here. If none of this can be understood, then what is the point, you say?

Valid, but even child has no understanding of what its parents say. This is nature versus nurture. The child will not understand procreation, yet it is alive and here. The child will not understand thermodynamics or gravity or the laws of motion, yet these are the laws that govern the world around it. But what is evident to us today, is that the kid will learn these truths over time.

What must we do? We can park these questions aside for the time being. Our scriptures tell us that we can understand only when our intellect gets purified. Purification happens through implementation of the lessons taught in the scriptures. Living selflessly in service to God and society would be a great place to start. The rest will follow.

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Pin prick pinch push – 1

Here are some gems from the Acupuncture healing approach.

  1. The body can heal itself from any disease, if we let it.
  2. It is all about resolving the root cause (like poor gut health), and not the symptom (cold, cough, headaches, skin issues or worse).
  3. Everything can be cured. Except death.
  4. There is no need for needles. The earliest Acupuncture healers never had needles, only fingertips, and that’s enough.
  5. No medicines. At all. Just some dietary restrictions.
  6. The healing works on the principle of energy flow (nadi/meridian) becoming unobstructed.

My recommendation to anyone with any health problems, especially those nagging unsolvable ones, is to consider this healing technique and visit an acupuncture healer.

It will change your life, as it has mine and many others around me.

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Yes or no

FOMO seems to be a relatively new age term. It stands for Fear Of Missing Out. If your neighbour has taken a mortgage for 5% and he tells you that interest rates are really low, you too jump onto the bandwagon and take a mortgage for 5%. This is irrespective of whether you need the mortgage, or whether you really have a clue as to whether rates are low.

FOMO could also kick in when your friend goes to a noisy party, and you go too, even though you hate parties. But you do not want to miss the opportunity of being in the limelight, especially because your friend surely would be. Or FOMO-ing a Beyonce concert and giving up the bragging rights, even though you need to cram for the exam tomorrow.

Some of these may just be silly things. But FOMO is very common nowadays, with social media rife with pictures and statuses of friends or acquaintances who are constantly sharing their lives and experiences (often only selective good parts). Just constantly checking one’s phone for social media updates itself could be a FOMO response.

Anyway, FOMO can come in myriad ways. A little bit of insecurity, and FOMO will come right through the door. What’s the way out then? POMO of course – i.e. Pleasure Of Missing Out! Before saying yes to anything or making up our minds on anything, we can first introspect as to whether we really need to be at that party, or need that extra loan, or new car, or even vacation at that unaffordable resort advertised on social media. This is not a blanket ‘No’. Rather, it is just applying a layer of thought before saying ‘Yes’.

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Fear to become

Have we not feared, every step of our way to today? Those terrible kindergarten days, where we hated being separated from our parents. Moving to a new place, not knowing if we would be accepted in the school there. Joining a sports class, only to be bullied by some of the seniors. Entering the workplace – our very first day at work – the butterflies, the discomfort – is always there. When we are on the cusp of progress, we always have a tendency to look back. Seeing all the obstacles we overcame, we must ideally feel a great deal of strength, knowing that if we go through all this all these years, we can get through anything.

All of this reminds me of Khalil Gibran’s outstanding poem titled Fear. The premise is beautiful. It speaks of a river that has meandered its way through mountains, winding roads, plains, forests, villages and what not. Now the river is in front of the ocean, about to enter it. That’s when it looks back at its journey, and trembles. Seeing such a vast ocean, the river is worried about disappearing into it forever. The rest is too good to paraphrase, so here is the original:

But there is no other way.
The river can not go back.

Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.

The river needs to take the risk
of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear,
because that’s where the river will know
it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,
but of becoming the ocean.

I get goose bumps each time I read this.

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Take less stress

A simple principle to follow could be one of inversion. Continuing on from yesterday’s post titled ‘Take more stress’, here are some examples of useful inversion.

The things we are stressed about, and (how to invert them):

  1. landing a better job, (enjoying our current job to the fullest)
  2. earning more money, (living in contentment)
  3. finding a good spouse / partner, (being a good spouse/partner/person)
  4. having a good family, (loving the family you have, and being a dependable family person)
  5. going on a quality vacation, (living every moment like it’s a vacation)
  6. being recognized in society, (working for society)
  7. working to fulfil our kids desires, even if they don’t reciprocate, (allowing the kids to live their own lives, and taking care of your loved ones with no expectations)

On doing these, we will perhaps come to realize what Gandhi ji said, that peace is not a destination, but a path. Moksha is no different, and as my Guru says, available here and now to one and all.

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Take more stress

The things we are stressed about:

  1. landing a better job
  2. earning more money
  3. finding a good spouse / partner
  4. having a good family
  5. going on a quality vacation
  6. being recognized in society
  7. working to fulfil our kids desires, even if they don’t reciprocate

Nothing wrong with these. Except that we usually spend our entire life, nay lives, trying to fix these.

The only thing the Guru asks us to stress about? Getting moksha or liberation. To keep that as a single pointed focus. And to act with urgency. Why? Because moksha is only possible with human life. And we are supremely lucky to have received a human birth, and that too one conducive to spirituality. Who knows if we will get this chance the next time around?

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Compounding experience

Here are some simple truths my Guru keeps mentioning. They are so easy to apply but we (or I) still do not.

  1. In Hindi, “Viveki ko anadar mat karna, warna zindagi bhar dukhi rahoge“. This means, if you disrespect a wise person, you will be sorrowful throughout your life. Is this easy to understand? Yes it is. His own example is, between a 2 year old and a 6 year old, who is better for life advice? The parent will always tell the 2yo to learn from the 6yo. But introduce a 10 yo, and automatically the 6yo will learn from the 10yo. Life experiences have a compounding effect, and hence an 80yo (especially a wise person like a Guru) will have a better world view than a 40yo.
  2. Benjamin Franklin’s statement on the same point, but just said differently. “Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other

My Guru was no doubt referring to me when he said these things. He continues to say them, which also tells me I have a long way to go. As Robert Frost would say, miles to go before I sleep.

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Kids say the darndest things

There’s a lot to learn from playing with kids. Their innocence is just stunning. The younger ones are a treat to play with. They can either cry or laugh or poopoo or make baby gurgles, and two of these are good fun.

If brought up and trained well, those who are just beginning to converse, may give some of the cutest answers stemming from the simplest of observations.

The slightly older ones can be a revelation, with their quick acumen. But they can also be a slap in the face. They will speak unabashedly, reflective of not just what they learn at home, but also what they see on TV and elsewhere. Many parents give up, afraid to discipline their kids, thinking they will take care when the time is ‘appropriate’. But more often than not, it becomes too late for any corrective action.

This post is not about that though. A recent experience with a naughty-but-well-intentioned fellow taught me a few things. Statements like “Hey, your hair is so white”, or “You are only pretending to listen to me”. were true, and funny. But the potty-mouthed kid let out some ego-stompers too. “You don’t know anything. My father is a better player than you.”, or “Get up I said – get up and play with me right now you idiot”. Hearing these, and having to still smile and play with the kid – was a supreme test of grit, patience and humility. Anger management 101 in action – because – can’t reprimand thy neighbour’s kid.

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Extrama

We had an interesting discussion during satsang a few days ago. It was on a topic called Unlawful Love, authored by Thiruvalluvar in the Kural. The author has written with such emphasis, “It may seem all too easy to err with another’s wife, but the disgrace will be irredeemable for all time”.

There are so many examples of people ruining themselves and their images, simply because they couldn’t control themselves. Ravana lusting after Sita, Shantanu (nearly on his death-bed) lusting for the fisherwoman Satyavati, the Bill Clinton – Monica Lewinsky affair, Tiger Woods and his extra maritals – the list goes on.

This is perhaps not so different from discontentment with our money, gadgets, cars, houses etc. We just want more and more. And quickly get bored. We can probably replace a car or gadget with a newer model, but doing that with a wife / husband? Treacherous!

The challenge lies in the motive behind marriage. For most, it is purely physical, maybe a little emotional. To find someone who can act as a bottomless pit for their partner’s worries and troubles of life. But the wisdom of the ancients suggest that marriage primarily had a deeply spiritual component. The word vivaah in Sanskrit I’ve read means ‘to flow together’. Flow where? Towards liberation, which is the dharma of each individual. Interesting also then is that the sanskrit word for wife is dharmapatni.

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Shock and awe 4

Here’s another shock and awe post. You know the drill by now. So let’s get right into them jaw-droppers.

  1. The soul is permanent, body is not. All our problems belong to the body. You are the soul, not the body. So why worry?
  2. When the child is born, do not worry about how to enrol her in Harvard. Worrying about end results drain you.
  3. Rituals are necessary and serve a lot of purpose. But merely performing them with no understanding of purpose or having the knowledge of Reality, cleanliness of mind doesn’t take place.
  4. World is dukhaalayam and ashaashvatam – sorrowful and impermanent.
  5. An exalted focus on life gives you dedication and cuts off all distractions.

What incredible thoughts for self-improvement!

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Last resort

Resort 1: Brand new property. Glistening fixtures and fittings. 2500 sqft room – almost palatial. King-plus size plush bed, with bed warmers. Toiletries from a 5 star brand. Food plated in true 7-star style.

You spend a day here and then need to head back. As you have breakfast, a thought occurs to you. You have a long drive back home. So you request the resort to pack a few slices of bread from the breakfast buffet. “Certainly sir, and may we add some potato fries as well?”. Sure you think. And then ten minutes later, they hand over a small parcel with the food, and also slap a 1500 rupee bill. How do you feel?

Resort 2: Decent property, definitely not new. Fittings have worn out, and the paint is chipping away. 500 sqft room – as much as any other normal hotel room. Queen size bed, with no bells or whistles. Unbranded toiletries. Food is homely and tasty.

You spend a day here and then need to head back. As you have breakfast, a thought occurs to you. You have a long drive back home. So you request the resort to pack a few slices of bread from the breakfast buffet. “Certainly sir”. And then ten minutes later, they hand over a simple parcel with not just bread, but also butter, some fresh juice and a few fruits. “This is on the house sir, thank you for your stay, hope you enjoyed it”. How do you feel?

Which would you prefer – resort 1 or resort 2? Is it about money, or attitude? Do we treat others the same way we want to be treated?

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Lessons from letter writing

We would have all learnt to write formal letters in school. We would start with the date up top, then put a to address, then subject, then body of the letter and then finally sign off.

This last bit is where we were taught to end with “Thanking you; Yours Sincerely”, and that got me thinking. These two together summed up how to live life – peaceful and happy, with no place for stress or anxiety!

How? The first one is easy. ‘Thanking you’ is symbolic of gratitude. Just being grateful is enough to move our mind from a constant state of worry about the future, into happiness for the present.

The second one ‘Yours sincerely’, represents how we must carry out our work / duties. What I’m guilty of though, is being too serious instead of sincere, i.e. ‘Yours Seriously’. How can I enjoy my work then? Of course I will feel anxious. Replacing seriousness with sincerity is the answer, focusing on enjoying the process without worrying about the result.

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Wake up

In their 2001 hit song Chop Suey, American band System of a Down crooned “Wake up wake up, grab a brush and put a little make up. Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up”. The song was intense to say the least, and while the rest of it is irrelevant, this portion well summarizes how many begin their day – stressed, anxious, shaken-up and somewhat empty inside.

“How do I get rid of stress and anxiety?” is the title of a YouTube video I recently watched. The question was asked by Indian Bollywood celebrity Suresh Oberoi to Shivani didi of the global Brahmakumaris movement.

Her response was crisp, simple, practical and immediately actionable.

  1. Our thoughts and words manifest into the reality around us, albeit with a time lag.
  2. Therefore, we must think and speak positive, not negative.
  3. This positivity can only be generated from within, as we do not have control over what goes on outside.
  4. Do not look at your phone for the first 30 to 60 minutes after waking up. This prevents us from falling into the clutches of the world, which tends to send all sorts of negative ideas and emotions.
  5. Start with gratitude. Before even opening your eyes, feel grateful for your life, healthy body, family, money, opportunities etc. This will over the course of a few days significantly reduce our complaining / criticising behaviour.
  6. Choose and repeat a few affirmations relevant to you. Like “I am enjoying my work, and am very successful”, or “I am very healthy and healed” or “I have amazing relationships” etc.

That’s it. Easy to practise? Found it useful?

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By the second

On social media, there seem to be an increase in ‘social’ advertisements. Many pubs and bars seem to have opened up, having being closed many months due to the pandemic. People have been thronging them. Many such establishments have apparently been flouting government norms too – admitting more people and operating longer hours than they should.

While on one side of the world, the devastating coronavirus rages on, on the other side, said nightclubs are teeming with people. Photos show groups of intoxicated half-clothed youngsters, huddled close together, oblivious to the blaring music, high on drink and low on perception.

Sure, the business owners need to run their shops, and this may be a means of advertisement. And of course everyone is free to do as they choose – get high, and leave them problems of the world behind.

But I can’t help but wonder – if there hasn’t been a lifestyle shift. Most of the middle class folks spend everything they earn, just to keep up their ‘image’. Not only are more and more people living paycheck to paycheck, they are also living weekend to weekend. Despising everything related to ‘work’ and ‘office’ on weekdays, all Mon-Fri waking hours are spent waiting for Sat-Sun. And when these do come, they disappear in a flash, feeling like a haze, left in a daze.

What if we lived – not weekend to weekend – but second to second. Giving our fullest to every moment. Enjoying the now. Embracing it. With no care of the past that was or a future to come. How infinitely more productive and yet relaxed, would we be?

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Small tiny atomic

Atomic Habits. Surely you’ve heard of this book, or seen it on some Amazon ad or maybe at a bookstore somewhere. I haven’t read it yet. But judging by the reviews it has got, it must be quite a read.

But the title is what got me reflecting. We tend to chase after all the big things in life. A big bonus, a big promotion, a big house, a big vacation, a big celebration. We want everything king size. Nothing wrong with this as such. But do we have much control over them? Hardly.

But the smaller things? These are the things we do daily, maybe multiple times a day. Repeated execution has brought perfection to these actions, leading to habits. And these are the things that really really matter. Especially if the habits in question are bad ones, and changing them can result in amazing positive impact. Here are 2 that come to my mind, which I’m trying to change – step by step.

  1. My speed and frequency of chewing. Yup, as simple as that. But it’s importance is underappreciated. Ayurveda estimates over 80-90% of all disease is caused by poor gut health. Given our hectic lifestyles and limited attention spans, we eat way too fast. Indigestion and other stomach troubles eventually manifest in all sorts of problems – even those seemingly nowhere connected to the stomach.
  2. Being mindful and living in each moment. Even on a holiday, I’m scarcely able to sit and take in the beautiful scenery and lovely breeze hitting my face. Instead I’m swamped with thoughts about returning to work, what to read, how to progress and what not. Each time this happens, I try to consciously bring myself back to the present. No rocket science.

Small is indeed beautiful. One step at a time. What are your top tiny habits you are trying to change? Do share your thoughts in the comments below please!

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Flag off

On a recent road trip, we stopped a couple of times to use the restroom or pick up some snacks / tea. These are in small dhabas that are strewn across national and state highways across the country. More often than not, vast stretches of road are peppered by several such food joints. Some dhabas, the ones with slightly better amenities / food / toilets tend to have more visitors. In some others, a unique sight greets you.

There is a man, typically a very old one, posted on the road side. He has a flag in hand – painted green on one side, and red on the other. His job? To green-flag and coerce oncoming vehicles to stop at the dhaba that he works for. The red flag? To get other vehicles to slow down as his patrons reverse their cars and and prepare to join the highway.

What do you think of such a job? Would you like to do it? Flagging vehicles all day long, often in the scorching heat – typically in the middle of nowhere, with no chance of seeing your family, let alone living with them? And how much do you think the job pays? Likely nothing. Perhaps just the assurance of having 3 square meals by virtue of association to the dhaba is enough for the person.

We are all super lucky when compared to such people are we not? How much of our gratitude to the universe is enough for this? No amount? And right place right time does matter. The waiter inside will get his tip. But who will tip the flag man?

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Taking a break

At least in India, the concept of a sabbatical is practically unknown. The workhorses that most people here tend to be, coupled with the social stigma of being jobless, ensures neither employer nor employee ever considers it. But as is we well know, workplace stress is rampant.

Refreshing then, was to know about Swanand Kelkar, Managing Director at Morgan Stanley, who decided to take 2020 off (yes the whole year!) to pursue his interests. In an interview, he explains how he was enamoured by a concept called time billionaire. We all want to be money-billionaires, but the scarcest resource any of us has is time. If we had enough time to do anything we wanted (i.e. no office, no deadlines, no 7 am Monday morning blues) then what would we do? He decided to use the one year to attempt 10 different interest areas like professional cooking, yoga certification in Sivananda Ashram in Madurai, book writing, dancing and other things that he would have otherwise never ventured into. Engaging the expertise of stalwarts in these respective fields, he set about using a month each pursuing his interests. He says he also benefitted from interacting with people in such diverse fields bringing myriad viewpoints compared to meeting the same people daily at work.

My own experience of a short break – to dabble in gaining a few new skills – some years ago in between jobs was fruitful, but perhaps not as well structured. I can however vouch for how much the gains can be – far outweighing the benefit of just staying stuck in the same job for those 12 months.

Of course not everyone can take a sabbatical at will. Some may have just joined a new organization, or their employer may not be sabbatical-friendly, or one may not have money saved up to ride out the non-earning period. In these cases, some planning will be necessary. However, at the end of the day, sabbatical / vacation / break etc. are all just ways to gain some mental peace (maybe using up-skilling as a means). The Prime Minister of India has not taken a holiday in 30 years at least, and neither has my Guru. They are both working at peak efficiency, the former in his 70s and the latter in his 80s. I have much to learn from them.

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Shock and awe 3

You know the shock and awe series well by now. Here are the two previous ones – Link1 and Link2. These are such outstanding learning points that since our jaws hit the floor, it becomes impossible to forget. More than remembering though, what is most important is to apply these learnings. Without further ado, from my Guru’s Amazing Simple Gita, available here for free:

  1. Skill in action lies in the practise of karma yoga. The expertise is in somehow getting connected to the Lord, as much as possible, in all works of the day.
  2. Liberation is possible only when one (householders, saints working in society, anyone forced to act in the this world) practises karma yoga
  3. What is moha / delusion? Being blind to a person’s defects because we are in love with them.
  4. Are you interested in worldly objects? Do you want to enjoy them? Dwelling on those objects starts all problems.

What powerful lines! Time to apply these learnings, to bring out the best versions of ourselves.

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Running for your life

Life is like a treadmill. We just keep running all the time. But we never get anywhere, in the ‘real’ and ‘long-term’ sense. And what if we stop? Try stopping on a treadmill that is rolling fast!

There is a concept called hedonistic adaptation. It too looks at life like a treadmill, and is in fact also called the hedonic treadmill. But not just life, but rather more the mind. That the mind is non-stop running after something or the other. Hedonistic refers to sense pleasures. ‘Adaptation‘ captures the fact that our happiness spikes when something we have been craving for is achieved or presented to us. This happy-spike though, is not permanent. It quickly begins to reduce, and soon disappears, i.e. the mind has already adapted to this new achievement/pleasure and that has suddenly become the new normal.

A key reason why this happens is because our desires are not absolute, but relative. I know a recent billionaire-club entrant, who has now started worrying about how her peers are in the multi-billions.

The ancients tell us that if we want to be happy, we just need to seek refuge in the consciousness seated deep within each of us. But that’s not what appeals to us. We don’t know to be happy, as we only seek to be happier than yesterday. That’s why despite having all the luxuries of life that even kings of yore couldn’t dream of, we are still left wanting.

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Goal setting 2

In his book Principles: Life and Work, hedge fund billionaire Ray Dalio says, “I learned that if you work hard and creatively, you can have just about anything you want, but not everything you want. Maturity is the ability to reject good alternatives in order to pursue even better ones.”

Like we discussed yesterday, it is important to know what we really want. Not what the neighbour’s son wants. Unfortunately, comparisons never stop these days – neither in real life, nor on social media.

But is knowing ourselves easy? It is probably the hardest question to answer. I didn’t say it. Thales of Miletus, one of the Seven Sages of Greece did – “The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself.” Aristotle wasn’t far behind when he said “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

One method mentioned in the previously referenced book Your Next Five Moves is to use 4 categories – Advancement, Individuality, Madness and Purpose. You can try out the Personality Assessment Quiz here and see what bucket you fall under.

More than anything, once a goal has been set, it is important to be mentally free from it. Goals are for working, not for worrying. If we enjoy the work, the goal will be achieved automatically – sooner than later.

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Goal setting 1

Goal-setting is an important aspect of success. “Hitch your wagon to the stars” as my Guru would say. It is essential to have lofty goals, otherwise we will remain as we are, with all our potential remaining just that, never seeing the light of day.

Then there are some who argue against having goals. Because these serve as limits to your brain, they say. “Why have the goal of founding a billion dollar company when you are perhaps capable of founding a trillion dollar company?” Well, even a trillion must pass through a billion first, so it’d be better to start with the billion goal and then recalibrate as necessary.

The challenge many of us face with goal setting is that we do not know where to start. We try to focus on questions such as “How much money should I have by the time I’m 40”, or “How many Boards should I be on before I’m 60” and so on. These aren’t bad ways to come up with goals. But as I’ve been reading in an interesting book called Your Next Five Moves by Patrick Bet-David, he suggests that we need to address ourselves first.

What do we want? No, not even we. More like you, or me, each one of us individually. What is most important to you? Do you want a stable job with a US$ 150,000 pay check? Or do you want a million dollar salary with a big fat bonus? Or do you want to own 25% of a unicorn start-up? Do you want to spend time with your wife and kids every day? Or do you want to consistently clock 120-hour weeks? Or maybe you want to balance work and your social service activities?

Each one of us is built differently, with unique potential. So broad-brushing goals will not work. It is hence important to honestly arrive at our own goals based on a) what we truly want, and b) how much we are prepared to work for it (and not what the neighbour wants or his son has achieved). More tomorrow!

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So lucky

Maybe a lot of us believe that we need to be ‘lucky’ in order to be successful. And maybe that’s true in some form or fashion. But is there anything we can do about luck?

First, there’s a nice quote I came across. Luck is when hard work meets opportunity. This is wonderful because it leaves a lot in our control. We can work hard, or work smart or both. And we can keep scouting for opportunities. Something will eventually click.

In the book called The Almanack of Naval Ravikant by the eponymous angel investor, he discusses four types of luck.

  1. Blind luck: Getting lucky without doing anything. Like winning the lottery.
  2. Luck through persistence, hard work and hustle: This is about creating opportunities so luck can find us.
  3. Sensitivity to luck: By becoming skilled in a field that you are able to spot opportunities others can’t.
  4. Luck that finds you: By becoming the foremost expert in a field, and opportunities flock to you as it can go nowhere else.

The last two are somewhat similar, the difference being that the last one is the hardest, and requires work on ourselves to such an extent that luck finds us. In the third example, we still need to find luck. There’s another fifth kind of luck I like. Which is to think and feel that I’m super lucky for everything that I have – experiences, possessions, relationships, the works. This gratitude helps alleviate all anxieties of the future, as everything till now itself is nothing but a series of lucky blessings.

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Intel inside

Self-styled mystic Jaggi Vasudev (aka Sadhguru) makes an interesting point in one of his YouTube videos. “What we are all always doing, is mistaking our memories for intelligence.”

This is a mouthful and worth delving into. What he is saying is that everything we do is guided by what we have experienced in the past and how that has got embedded in our minds. We remember a variety of things and use those instances to make decisions for the future. We also consider those memories and events as knowledge and use it to not just portray our own IQ but also become judgemental about the IQs of others.

This memory characteristic is also true at the physical level. Our body (and every single cell in it) remembers too. This is why pav bhaji (or biryani or pizza or burger) eaten by you turns into more of you, and not into me or into some other animal or plant or food.

The problem with this memory-to-intelligence approach is that it limits our perception to only what exists in our memory. It also closes us to future possibilities, especially those that we cannot comprehend, based on current memory (which we call knowledge). If we are told that astrology is a baseless science, this sticks to us, and we make no efforts to unearth if this is actually true. This is particularly important when a modicum of faith is required, such as to progress on the spiritual path. Despite the guidance of many thousands of realized masters over many millennia, we are content with mistaking our own lack of experience, for intel-inside.

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Deli Belly

The Gita at many times talks of the importance of consuming the right food. Really? A spiritual book talking about food? It was surprising to me too at first.

And then I realized Ayurveda too, is heavily focused on digestion. If the gut / stomach is alright, most problems disappear.

Nowadays, even fitness trainers and nutritionists in gyms say the same thing. Your body is not made in the gym, rather it is made in the kitchen.

Our scriptures of course are not so focused on biceps or abs. But they sure are focused on the organ in the head, and more specifically, the mind. We’ve all felt this before – eat too much and the next few hours are soporific and lethargic. Eat spicy and the mood becomes aggressive. Eat too sweet and that cloying feeling doesn’t let up.

For optimum efficiency, the mind must function at peak performance. And for this, the right inputs to the belly are paramount.

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The Flow

There is an interesting connection I’ve noticed first hand, between some masters and their science-crafts.

The best guidance from Gurus comes when their only goal is the benefit of those who seek their help.

The best readings from astrologers come when they have no ulterior motives.

The best suggestions from palmists come when they take no money in return.

The best nadi analyses from ayurvedic doctors comes when their sole aim is the patient well being.

The best healings from Reiki practitioners come when they tirelessly want their patrons to be rid of all negative energies.

All of these sciences / skills require a certain amount of intuition. Intuition is nothing but the Lord working through us. Said differently, it is the Consciousness within that delivers the appropriate messages utilising the body as an instrument. When the channel is pure, intuition flows. When the channel is blocked by ego / desire / selfishness, there is little room for anything else.

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Talk the walk

Many many years ago, a man and his mentor were at a railway station. They came across an elderly couple, probably in their eighties, their frail bodies clothed in rags and their arms outstretched, begging for alms. The mentor handed his man a crisp 100 rupee note. “Please go and get this changed into smaller denominations.” When the man came back with smaller notes and coins, his mentor told him, “Now please put all of the notes and coins into their begging bowls.”

The mentee did as he was instructed. He then had a follow up question for his mentor. “Sir, I thought you asked me to get the smaller denominations so that you could maybe put 10 rupees into the bowl, and not the full 100. If you anyway wanted to put the 100, then why did you not use the 100 rupee note directly?”

The mentor said, “Two reasons, my dear. First, they are an old couple, and their safety is paramount. If we leave a larger note out there, it is possible or even likely others might thrash them and steal it. Or a policeman might bully them, querying where they found (stole) such a large note. Secondly, it’s a mind trick, in favour of the couple. If their bowl has just one 100 rupee note, it is unlikely they will get more. But if they have several smaller notes and coins, more people might come up and donate. This is because people do not like to be the first and only, but most are happy to follow suit once someone has already raised their hands first.”

The man was elated by the outstanding lesson on empathy he had just learned. Not just in talk, but in walk as well. All glories to such realized souls.

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Foodies galore

Ah food. The thing that unites people. Across age groups and profiles, everybody loves to to eat tasty food. When the pandemic struck, it appeared that many restaurants would shut down, and delivery startups would be finished. While the ensuing months have no doubt been very hard on this industry, people’s love, nay craving for food has only gotten stronger.

Indeed at the first signs of unlock measures, restaurants and street vendors are teeming with people, almost revenge-binging. The Swiggys, Zomatos and Uber Eats of the world? Already back to pre-covid levels and beyond.

So what do our scriptures say about food? Here are three simple points to keep in mind:

1. The concept of bhiksha, i.e. eat whatever is given. This helps build self control.

2. Even if you don’t like the food, try to savour it and enjoy it. No complaints. The unfortunate soul who was starving would gulp down what is in your plate within seconds.

3. Mentally offer whatever food we receive to the Lord. This reinforces gratitude and reduces ego.

We are certainly lucky, that despite a very hard year, we still have food on our plates. That is more than many can hope for.

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Carma

At the valet parking area of a renowned 5 star hotel, the owner of an old and tiny Hyundai i10 was waiting for his car to be brought to him.

He watched, as the valets buzzed about, servicing their guests and deftly moving from car to car. One valet drove up in great style in a brand new Mercedes Benz AMG GLE Coupe. The Coupe owner took the keys and handed the valet a crisp couple of notes. The smile on the valet’s face was telling of his satisfaction.

The compact car owner thought to himself, “Wow these valets have it so good. I can’t even dream of driving these sporty beauties. That Mercedes GLE is a special edition model – just 10 of them in the whole world!”

Little did he know the thoughts running in the valet’s mind. “Oh these rich folks – such show-offs. And having to drive their cars? Back and forth, back and forth, from the reception area to the parking lot, a 100 times a day. Can there be anything more repetitive and boring? With the money I make, I barely make ends meet. My school going son would love it so much if I could own even just a simple car. Even an old dilapidated Hyundai i10 would be perfect.”

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Ro ro

According to Google Maps, the drive time from Mumbai to weekend destination Alibaug is just 2 hours and 15 minutes. But anyone who’s taking the road would know of its pitiable condition, easily doubling the drive time to four and a half hours.

The government has come up with an amazing solution. Have a ferry that not only transports people but also cars. It’s called the Ro-Ro for roll-on roll-off. Having taken it a couple of times, I can vouch for its awesomeness. The travel time between Mumbai and Alibaug is reduced to about 50 minutes, car in tow.

What was really amazing though, was the punctuality. All the more so as these are not expected of public services. This was surely different. At 12.30 sharp and as indicated on their website, the ferry set off from the harbor. And at 1.20, it docked into the Mandwa pier.

We all know that there is nothing more valuable than time. If there is someone who values your time, that garners immense respect. Even simple things like being on time for a meeting (increasingly online now), are often taken for granted. Unlike money, time lost cannot be regained. Time to roll-off the time wasters and roll-on the time-spinners.

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Fakes and real

Gurus, while realized souls, have physical bodies through which they too experience pain and pleasure like you and me. Even the great Ramakrishna Paramahamsa did not just die easy in his sleep. Instead, he was inflicted by throat cancer for 18 months. The pain was excruciating, and he could not eat, or speak, or even lie down and this tortured him day and night. Despite this, his heart was with his devotees, and everyday he would wait for seekers of God to come so that he could bless them and help them realize God. Did he not have the power to heal himself? Of course he did – as he was a master of Siddhis. But strange are the ways of God-realized men. Even though his close disciples would beseech him to heal himself or pray for his own health, the saint would always refuse. Why? Because his mind was totally focused on God, and he did not want to waste even a single second, by bringing his mind to his body, from God.

There is much fanfare and following in India for those who call themselves Gurus. There are plenty of fakes too, but that is only natural. Is there a way to call out the genuine from the rest?

It is difficult, but not impossible. A tell-tale sign would be – how much the Guru is undergoing pain and suffering for the benefit of his devotees and disciples.

The phoney Gurus might care for their people, but they care for themselves first. The real Guru will have no care about him/herself, and instead have full attention on you/us. They do not care about themselves because they seek nothing material. And the spiritual wealth they have, they want nothing more than to be able to share with us, while also alleviating any of our physical troubles.

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My job or someone else’s?

Verse 35 chapter 3 in the Gita can be confusing. Krishna has said that it is better to do one’s own duty badly than to perform someone else’s duty well. Prima facie, it sounds silly. When I’m able to do someone else’s work well, why should I then waste time doing my own work even if done poorly? Does this not bring down efficiency, productivity and quality of the end result? Granted that this can be a bit controversial, but here’s my take on it.

Firstly, the entire Gita talks only about how to work, and never once talks about the type of work itself. Therefore, the focus is on us, the worker, and not the work. Secondly, while we may be great at a neighbour’s job, we may not have the ready opportunity to work there. We can certainly try for a job switch – but whether that fructifies or not, may not be in our control.

Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, karma yoga is all about treating work as worship. It is a means of attaining the Lord – by not just giving up the results, but by also giving up doer-ship. This is only possible when I do work that is comfortable for me, and that plays to my innate nature. I might love being a librarian for instance, because it gives me peace of mind – reading books, comparing them, learning from them. However, it might seem like a low-paying job, and so I might want to use my bookish knowledge to become an author – which might give me money, but leave me unable to tackle the associated fame. Here our focus must be clear – are we doing the job for our love of books? Or for the money?

In the Gita with Krishna talking to Arjuna, the Lord says that Arjuna might make a great saint, but that as a warrior, it is his duty and innate nature to fight. He adds that it is better to die performing one’s own duty than running after another’s duty. If the work we are doing, feels more like play than work, then we are likely in the right profession. Running after someone else’s work might seem attractive at this moment, but could bring much despair in the future.

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2021

A simple but important blog post to ring in the new year. Here are five things for me to work on, so as to get the best from 2021.

  1. Every day, all day, be happy and grateful for everything we already have. Success, money, fame will come automatically.
  2. Zero compromise on health (i.e. proper nutrition and exercise) – for if there’s one thing an invisible virus from 2020 has taught us, it is that without a fit body and mind, everything else is pointless.
  3. Give / donate / help generously and selflessly. This is the only way to purify the mind and intellect. (Why? Because it removes the notion of ego / i-i-i)
  4. Join a satsang and / or actively participate in one. Repeatedly dunking the mind in scriptural knowledge as guided by the Guru and applying it in our lives will fast track our spiritual transformation.
  5. Enjoy every single moment, and look at every stumbling block as an opportunity to improve. As they say, there are no failures, only lessons.

Are these easy to follow? Do you have other things you would like to focus on? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below. All the best for 2021!

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You curves

The Happiness Curve. What could it be? Another way of describing a smile perhaps? That’s what I thought too, and it could be true as well. But the happiness curve is also the name of a book by Jonathan Rauch.

The author describes an important phenomenon related to happiness and age. His findings are quite surprising, and show that happiness declines in the late twenties, bottoms out around the fifties, and then moves up thereafter. This when plotted on a chart, is shaped like a U. And that is our happiness curve.

Why is it this way? Because youngsters tend to have high expectations from their lives. In most cases perhaps a little too high. The shortcut to Partner or MD, or having millions of dollars worth of shares in a billion dollar tech IPO are within the reach of only a few people. The rest? They are probably doing exceedingly well too, but not as much as they would like. So are they happy? Not really.

What happens in the fifties? People interestingly don’t become more dejected or depressed. Instead, their excessive optimism undergoes a systemic shift. They become realistic. And what a difference that makes, with happiness making a steady comeback!

This is wonderful information. Because this study tells us that most people link happiness to career/societal objectives and expectations. It’s good to give our best to our work and keep lofty goals, especially in the service of greater good. However, voluntarily deferring happiness by twenty or thirty years is unnecessary. We can be realistic today itself – not by setting lowly goals, but by realising that despite doing our best, sometimes things may not happen our way, and that we should not lose sleep over it. So we can start with happiness (just a mental toggle switch!), and then go about doing our work. The U curve will then morph into a 45-degree angle straight line to the right, or preferably even just bolt up to the sky at 90-degrees.

The next milestone won’t make us happy. The next purchase won’t make us feel better. The next increment in our paychecks won’t make our lives better. If we don’t appreciate what we already have, nothing we can add onto today will make us happy – sustainably.

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Overcoming a bad boss

Back in a previous job, there was this crazy boss. Towering in stature and demented in his requirements, that he used to torture me (and others in the team as well) at work was an understatement. Everything I did was considered wrong or not good enough. And everything was ‘late’, even if it was well before time. The team as a whole had this toxic culture, where the hours at one’s desk mattered more than the quality of work, and we regularly clocked 18 hour days 7 days a week. Such was the predicament, that I dreaded going to work.

Did I do or say anything at the time? Nope. Because I was scared. Scared of what others might tell me. Scared of whether I might lose my job. Scared of whether it might leave a blot on my résumé.

When I look back today, many years later, I look at the situation differently. Yes, it was perhaps a good learning ground, because such experiences prepare you for life – rudely and decisively snatching you out of the comfort zone that is one’s school or college or home. But what has changed the most now is the need to have a voice. When someone is doing something wrong to me, by keeping quiet, I’m not only suffering today, but also allowing the menace to carry on unchecked.

Contrary to perception, having a voice and speaking up actually helps boost your image, instead of cutting it down. People realize that this person is not a pushover, and hence cannot be taken for granted. If one gets fired for opening his/her mouth, then it speaks volumes not about the speaker, but the organization. Do you want to work for one where doing the right thing or speaking up – leads to a pink slip? Does that align with your values? We need to consider this and choose carefully. Today whenever I’m in a tough spot, I try to ask what future-me from ten years later would do in this same situation.

Jobs will come and go. But careers are made by making the right choices.

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Mind versus Intellect

The human brain is an absolute wonder. We all know this. But Tony Buzan, an expert on the brain, said in his research that we use only 1% of our brains. Anyone thinking that we have now learned “too much”, clearly needs to think again.

While the brain is just one physical organ, Vedanta delineates it into four parts: mind, intellect, memory and ego.

Memory we understand, and Ego we have experienced – especially when speaking to someone who threatens our authority 🙂

The mind and the intellect are more important to decipher, as it helps us understand our weaknesses better. The mind is what helps us think, imagine, ideate. The intellect is what helps us evaluate options. The intellect presents the available paths with rationale, and the (monkey) mind gets to make the ultimate choice.

When not ensnared by attachment or desires, the mind and intellect cooperate and collaborate beautifully, as if they are salsa partners. In times of turmoil, the music stops abruptly.

While these are all understandable for the material world, the mind and intellect are less useful (or practically useless, and actually maybe even deterrents) when it comes to spirituality. The intellect helps with scientific rationality – which only slows spiritual progress. For a deeply spiritual seeker, there is nothing to choose between or think about. It is totally experiential.

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It is unfair…

… that I get to sit at home and type this, while so many front line workers are doing their day/night jobs putting their own lives at risk.

… that a teacher gets paid nothing but many who’ve ‘inherited’ their way to education get paid millions.

… that youngsters that are able to code are paid more than ‘offline’ workers who have done their jobs in sincerity for decades.

… that those who graduate from the best universities during recessions make less than those who may not even graduate, but enter the workforce during economic booms.

… that industries which were seemingly untouchable a few months ago, have all but collapsed, while other unknown sectors have skyrocketed to fame.

… that life is not fair.

But what one calls unfair, another views as opportunity. And that is often enough to make the unfair fair.

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Ear here

What do we listen with? Our ears right? Of course, so obvious.

But that’s what we think. In one of his workshops to students many years ago, my Guru had posed this very question to his audience. They all replied “Yes, with our ears.”

To which he turned around, showed his back to the audience and continued his talk.

Needless to say, the crowd was completely disoriented. When my Guru turned around again, he smiled and said, “We listen with our ears, yes, but mostly with our eyes.”

This is a problem I’ve often encountered. Most people are always distracted, and when I speak, I’m not sure if what I’m saying is registering in their minds. Not because they don’t care. But because they are distracted. How do I know? Because I’m as guilty of this as the next person. When my spouse / child / family member / friend / colleague is speaking to me, the least I can do is to look them directly in the eye, and give them the attention they deserve. We can no doubt draw some boundaries – like letting the kids know that daddy’s going to be busy between 7 and 10 doing office work or such.

But if we aren’t 100% present in the moment, we must ask ourselves – what are we thinking about? The past that we cannot change? The future we have little control over? A social media post that is far less important than family?

Time to listen with the eyes.

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Restart

It used to irritate me no end that ‘tech geeks’ would suggest just a one-size-fits-all solution to any of my computer problems. So many times my Windows OS would have hanged. Surely this has happened to you as well. You click on some button one too many times. And you see the message on the title bar on top ‘Not Responding’. Then you try to open the Task Manager and realize one particular program is eating up most of the computer’s resources. And then when nothing worked, going to the aforementioned tech geek would elicit the desultory “Sir just restart your machine and it will be fine.”

The surprising thing though, was that it worked! The user didn’t need to know coding or troubleshooting. Just press the power button, and wait a few minutes, and everything would be normal again.

Our daily troubles are no different. Small niggles here and there. These take up an inordinate amount of our mind space. And we often allow such incidents to remain an overhang, corrupting the rest of our mental hard drives. Not unlike the faded screens where the mouse doesn’t click anymore.

The fastest way out? To do a clean restart. To think of something else. To do some other activity. And to not come back to the pain point, until the mind has calmed down. Bonus point? If the other activity is spiritual in nature, the reset will immediately be more fruitful.

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Hard and smart

When Apple launched the iPhone in 2007, what they did was not to make a better phone. This was a point that was missed out by then market leader Nokia. Hence what Nokia did in response, was to try and further strengthen their Symbian OS, and come up with a better phone. But they were still playing the wrong game. The game was not of phones anymore. It was of making in-pocket computers – i.e. devices which incidentally had the capability to make phone calls as well.

When Amazon had just started out selling books online, the then market leader Barnes & Noble was selling more books in a day though their offline bookstores than Amazon would in a year. But Amazon continued to plough on, tail tucked between the legs, unworried about what others were doing. We know what happened next.

There is limited time, money and energy we possess. The resources are finite, whether for a country, a company or a citizen. What we have in abundance though is mind power, available at our beck and call. Of course hard work is important like Amazon proved – with its grit and determination to come up the curve. Equally important is smart work, as Apple proved, while creating a whole new ecosystem. Samsung too soon followed, nicely taking inspiration from Apple, and being agile enough to change, despite not being first movers, and also saddled with their own legacy of dumbphones.

While these giants are all familiar brands today, they each took several years to get to this stage. Some amount of struggle is indeed good and necessary (ref: praise the struggle(r)). But struggling for the sake of it, in the wrong direction, may have us end up like Nokia.

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Getting belted

An interesting dichotomy plays out in India, on the roads. Traffic will suddenly slow down as one nears a place of religious worship like a temple. Why? Because the drivers will attempt to steal a glance at the presiding deity and mutter a quick prayer, in the hope of averting any mishaps on the road. A similar prayer is often told even at the very start of the journey, just as the car is being powered up.

So what is the dichotomy? You will expect that such people would improve their chances of mishaps being averted, and hence wear seatbelts. But nope. You will still see most people not wearing seatbelts. Even if the driver is wearing one, the co-passenger will not wear it. Often you will see a toddler perched up on the co-passenger, also completely unsecured. The same is true for bikers, who just do not wear helmets. A common sight involves these helmets hanging from the handlebars of the bike, as if to protect said bike in the event of a crash.

All of this, despite scientific proof that wearing seatbelts and helmets can significantly reduce injuries and save lives.

This reminds me of the gulf between prayer and karma. Just because one prays, it is not enough to ensure bad things wont happen. There are many things the Lord has empowered us with. A seat belt is one such thing, as are other things like our mind (if used well), intellect (to distinguish between right and wrong) etc. Prayer is a supplement, like the icing on the cake. We cannot replace our stupidity or laziness with prayer.

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Praise the struggle(r)

A new Tamil movie released directly-to-home, i.e. bypassing cinema theatres, as many of the latter are still pandemic-shut. The movie titled Soorarai Pottru translates to ‘Praise the Brave’. It loosely chronicles the life and successes of Capt. Gopinath who launched Air Deccan – India’s first affordable airlines for the common man, from back in the early 2000s.

There were a lot of learnings for me from watching the man’s incessant struggles. (Spoiler Alert!) He is driven by just one goal – to enable the common man to fly. While this might seem normal today, flying was only for the elites back then. The protagonist (an Indian Air Force pilot) himself is unable to reach home in time to see his father on his death bed as he is short of funds to buy his plane ticket. He ends up hitching rides of various kinds, reaching his village by road just as the funeral rites commence.

There is the obvious clique of villains, none of whom want competition for their own elite airlines. Despite all kinds of attempts to derail (or should it be deplane!) progress, the Captain never ever gives up. In the worst of times, he goes so far as to part-create a chance meeting with the President of the country resulting in a lifeline for his carrier. The film also showcases the importance of values, family bonding, goal setting and never giving up no matter the adversity.

While some parts of the movie seemed hyperbolic (probably for cinematic effect), there is no doubt Capt. Gopinath struggled his way to success. And as every struggler would attest to, it is the struggle alone that makes the victory sweet. Just ask the butterfly that came out the cocoon, as the struggle alone makes its wings strong enough for flight.

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Spiritual safari

A recent tiger safari to Kabini, Nagarhole got me thinking. There was so much more to it, than just looking for a striped wild cat.

The nature reserve forest is beautiful, yet deadly. Looking for the cat, without the aegis of an able guide and dexterous driver, is a fool’s errand. The guide is ever alert, hearing warning calls from Samba deer and langur that normal ears do not pick up. The driver too is trained to pick up sights as he coasts along – paw prints on the sand or fresh dung, among other things.

Despite all this, there is no guarantee of a tiger sighting. Some make multiple trips and tries, in vain. Some may have missed the sighting just momentarily. Others may see all kinds of other animals and get distracted, but the tiger is special. So much so, that only one thing is certain – that an excruciating amount of patience is needed.

The thing with such safaris is, that we can only undertake the journey. Whether the tiger chooses to present itself in front of us or not, is not in our hands. And when you actually get to see a tiger, it is surreal. Of course we can sit at home and watch a live episode on Nat Geo or Animal Planet, but it is not the same. While many have seen tigers in safaris, they go back again and again, to be one with nature and its killer cat.

It is hard to ignore the similarities here to spirituality. The guide and driver are like the Guru. The tiger the Supreme One. And the safari itself, our sadhana.

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Lending a ear

Back in the 80s when the Internet was first created, people scarcely understood its potential. What is ubiquitous today, wasn’t obvious back then. Why did they think it was doomed to fail? Was it because technology was not ready yet? Not at all. It was because they assumed that creating content would be the work of the large corporations. So a Netscape or a Microsoft would have to create content and put it on the web.

Fast forward to today, and we know who the true content creators are, don’t we? Still unsure? Head over to YouTube, or the billions of blogs on Medium or WordPress, or the millions of webstores on Instagram or Facebook. Not just social media, but ‘social’ itself has become a thing. Stand up comedy has proliferated, as has 360 degree feedback processes. What is it that unites these? All of these are platforms that enable people to have a voice. They are so endearing because there is someone on the other side who is listening.

In the Kural, Thiruvalluvar says that the crown of all wealth a man can have is the art of listening. Despite knowing about the benefits of listening, people rarely listen. Group Discussions in MBA selection rounds are all ‘fishmarkets’ with the loudest prevailing over the rest. Is this the best way to select and groom future leaders? No surprise then that even in office calls today, most people end up cutting others mid-sentence. They also add, as if to sound cool, “Sorry to interrupt you, but here’s what I believe…”, or “Sorry to interject, but my view is…”. Would you like to be interrupted while speaking? Would anyone?

Listening needn’t just be about others. In today’s action-packed stress-laced world, we hardly listen to ourselves, our body and mind’s needs. This is not to say we must indulge ourselves, but we are mostly running after what will make us look good in the eyes of others. Instead, we could stop to listen to our hearts and evaluate what is right for us, rather than for thy neighbour.

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Heads up

There is a deep blue pool. There is a person in this pool. He is dog paddling, and swimming toward deeper waters. It all seems fine. He is oblivious to the depth of the water under his feet. Then he starts getting tired. And the water starts to suck him in. The deep end is still quite far away. Even the shallow end is out of reach now.

The pool is filled with nothing but the water of life. We have been drowning in it since the day we were born. Blissfully unaware of its depth, we are flailing in apparent ecstasy, simultaneously burdened by never ending anxieties. Oh how do we free ourselves from these aquatic shackles?

The answer is the rope of adhyatma. A rope of ‘spirituality’, that we can hold on to, as we continue to live our troublesome daily lives. It will allow us to live normally and discharge our duties, while also being aware of the safety line to liberation.

Why it is imperative to embark on the spiritual path at a young age itself – is purely to get a good grip on the rope, else we may have swum too far. Holding on to the rope itself will still need us to be extremely vigilant though.

Another, better solution exists. Instead of a rope, this solution involves a float. Unlike the rope, which we had to hold on to for dear life, the float will hold us instead, keeping our head ever above water. The float is none other than the Guru, to whom we have surrendered.

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Tireless

Here’s a miracle that happened to me recently.

We took on the 5.5 hour drive from Bangalore to Coorg in a self-drive car. The weather was good. Cold, but not chilling. A kind departure from the incessant heat of elsewhere. All was well, until about 3 hours in. We had just entered a little town seemingly in the middle of nowhere. The roads were narrow, with plenty of oncoming traffic. A few cows and buffaloes had stationed themselves strategically. A big Toyota Innova behind us, was unable to overtake and get ahead – thanks to all this ‘traffic’. Five minutes of several failed attempts and many horns later, his frustration was clear.

And suddenly, a window of opportunity. He quickly overtook us, and as he did, one of his co-passengers was rolling down his window. That person indicated with his hands that something was wrong. I quickly stopped my car on the side, only to find not one, but two flat tires. On the opposite side of the road was a petrol pump, so I went over to see if someone could help. Nope, no tire guys there. He did point me a few shops away though and asked me to check there. A quick U-turn later, that shopkeeper said a few kilometres away I would find a shop. I explained that I could in no way go that far with two flats. Another man present there suggested another shop just fifty meters away. What’s the name – I asked. “Guru steels”, came the reply. I quickly drove ahead, and lo and behold – a tire shop. It was empty though, and a young chap was manning the neighbouring store. I asked if he could help with the puncture – to which he pointed across the road and beckoned. A frail gaunt man was eating watermelon. He crossed over to our side, gave a big smile, and asked if these were tubeless tires. I said “yes”, to which he said, “don’t worry I will fix these for you.”

Sure enough, in 30 minutes, he had checked both tires, taking them off, dunking them in water, plugging the holes/changing the valves, and having us good to go. The 100 kilometres we drove thereafter to reach our destination, had practically no tire change shops. Okay there were a few, but were closed. And the immediate 40 kilometres after the flats? Absolutely barren land. No people even, let alone shops. It would have been such a mess. But right from the Innova to the watermelon-eating tire changer to the name of the shop to them having the required valves – it was all seemingly planned to divine perfection.

How can I ever repay Nature / God / my Guru / the Universe? I can’t, because nothing can ever parallel such miracles. I can only bow my head down in gratitude, and hope that some day I too get the chance to pay it forward.

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Stairway to Heaven

No this is not about Led Zeppelin’s famous song by the same title. Rather it is about a fabled walkway to heaven. In 1997 a religious cult named Heaven’s Gate believed that there were some aliens in a special spaceship. This ship was thought to be traveling behind a comet heading to Earth. The aliens’ mission? To pick up true believers (i.e. the Heaven’s Gater’s) and take them to paradise.

Many cult members pooled their money to buy an advanced telescope. They were desperate to see the spaceship for themselves. To be sure, they located the comet. But unsurprisingly, there was no spaceship behind it. They took the telescope back to the store for a refund. The salesperson asked if the telescope was faulty. They said yes sir, and that the telescope was broken – because the spaceship didn’t show up through it.

Let us pause and think about that. Is this a level of delusion that appears believable?

The entire of the Bhagavad Gita is premised on one thing, and that is to remove Arjuna’s delusion. The delusion that he was not the body, but the soul. That he was actually free, but had tied himself down through various names and forms and situations and people.

What was applicable to Arjuna, more than applies to us. Aren’t we also deluded in one way or another?

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Shock and awe 2

This is a continuation of the Shock and Awe post from a few days ago. The premise is simple. We only learn when we are shocked or surprised by information – either new, or presented in a different manner. Here are some more such outstanding examples from my Guru’s unparalleled Amazing Simple Gita (life-changing free download!).

  1. It is not the CEO that reaches the Lord. Anyone who is unattached to his position, work, reaches.
  2. If your subordinate is promoted, feel good. No need to resign! (Why?, because “be even minded in success and failure. Evenness of mind is only called yoga.”)
  3. A never ending need, curdles into greed – without our knowledge. Hence our misery.
  4. Seek refuge in equipoise of mind. When this is practised, you seek neither fame, nor wealth nor acceptance from others.
  5. If you do not feel lost or dejected, but feel calm, you have become a yogi.

Aren’t these just mind blowing? So practical. What profundity! Now time to put these into action, step by step, as much as possible.

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Hands on

The year was 1984. An elite group had assembled in a club for a Toastmasters dinner. There were CEOs, MDs, Heads of Departments and many other dignitaries in that audience.

My Guru, who was also present, was suddenly asked to give a short speech there. No he was not the CxO of any multi national organization. He was probably retired at the time, already beginning to renounce everything. So titles and statuses made no difference to him.

A normal person would ask, “Then what the heck did you speak about, to such a distinguished audience, Guruji?”

“Simple”, his unassuming reply. “The one common thing that anyone and everyone is interested in, is themselves. So I discussed palmistry 101 with them. The life line, the head line, the heart line, the money line and so on. Do you think there was even one person in that audience who’s eyes were not glued onto their own palms? Whether CEO or King, everyone is truly interested only in themselves.”

The topic itself was not important. But the focus and theme of communication, i.e. ‘people love themselves’, was so effectively made use of – that not a single person wanted the session to end, even after 30 minutes! Question to myself: when I want to capture someone’s interest, should I talk about my life? Or that person’s?

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Praying for

Vedic Astrology is considered a perfect science, even though the astrologers themselves may be far from perfect. My limited experiments in this unbelievably vast field have taught me an important thing.

Whenever I learn a new concept, I try to apply it to my own chart. Why? Because I know my own life history the best – and will be able to figure out whether what I’ve learnt actually works, or whether it needs further tweaking.

What is interesting though, is when it comes to predictions for myself, my report card is abysmal. This despite attempts at birth time rectification, using conditional dashas, various varga chakras and what not. However if I’m doing this to help someone else, without expecting anything in return, purely to alleviate their misery even in some minor way if at all possible, then I’ve realized that often even the exact birth time or other granular details are not required.

Thinking about this more deeply, I realize that it is no different from praying. When I pray for myself, the prayer may or may not work. It’s hard to tell. Maybe it has to do with selfishness. I’m always asking for more and more for myself, without even knowing or caring what might really be good for me, or what the consequences might be, of the things I’m asking for.

But when the prayer is for the benefit of others, for mankind, for all the good kind selfless but suffering souls around me, the prayers seem to get answered much more convincingly. This gives me 110% conviction in my Guru’s idea of always praying for others. This is genius – not just materially, but spiritually too. Because it helps rid us of our ego. Instead of focusing on ourselves alone, we can focus on others. E-go to e-gone.

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Spiritual Fiction. Or reality?

Christopher Nolan is perhaps one of the greatest Hollywood directors of all time. Partly because his films are so awesome, and partly because his ideas and concepts are so complex that most audiences do not understand a thing – yours truly included. I almost feel foolish watching his movies but I still love them. There was some tesseract in Interstellar, which I just could not fathom. The ending of Inception – a spinning top cliff-hanger – again I could not make head or tail of. Memento was just unbelievable, and then an Indian version called Ghajini was made – which just paled in comparison.

Spielberg is a little easier – like his Avatar movie was way more palatable. Titanic of course was not sci-fi.

Spirituality too can have plenty of sci-fi elements. If one were to read books like Yoga Vashishtam, the Aghora series or Apprenticed to a Himalayan Master or even books on Kundalini shakti etc. (all of which are outstanding books), there would be no dearth of apparent science fiction.

While these are great to read, and also lead me to hope that one day I may experience even a fragment of the True Oneness, my Guru is clinical in his advice. He says only 2 things are needed. Give up desires. Give up attachments. These two are the beejas (seeds) for everything else. The only permanent way to exit from our delusionary state is by realizing the futility of all our worldly pursuits. There is no other way.

Nolan himself has the last say in his most recent movie Tenet, “Don’t try to understand it. Feel it.”

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The equalizer

Technology has really changed the world. We know this. We each feel this, tangibly on a daily basis. Many of us are just consumers, and have probably not realized its true potential – as a money spinner.

In the olden times, economic success was cornered by those with resources i.e. money, land or labour. Today, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Why? Because of the internet.

Want to build your own e-commerce website? It is literally drag-and-drop. Have a great product to sell? Amazon will do it for you. Want to build your own brand? You can do it from your own home. Have a talent to showcase? You can blog about it. Or create YouTube videos. Or maybe begin a podcast. Get your 10 million followers, and you could become an influencer, just sitting in the comfort of your living room. Not to say that this is easy. But it is certainly within the reach of the common man. Nay, even the common kid! One famous YouTube channel has a small boy reviewing a variety of toys and playthings, so much so that he earned over US$ 20 million in a single year! All the major toy companies fight over themselves to send him their latest toys in the hope of winning his approval.

Why is all this important? Because the economic success and allied happiness we seek has never been easier to attain. One does not need to only become an “engineer/doctor/lawyer” to become rich. The new age gig economy actually enables people to work on what they love doing, and get paid handsomely for it. There is now a real way for passion to be monetized. And a way for age, legacy, background, gender, location, education and many other previously important things, to all be neutralized. Are you taking advantage of the trend yet?

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Boat float

Some people eat out regularly, while others have tummy upsets just peeking at some oily street food.

Some work 120 hour weeks productively, while others are most productive with better work-life balance.

Some love to skydive or bungee, while others prefer feet up on the sofa.

Some spend their weekends watching horror movies, while others wonder how one can relax with that genre.

Some plan trips months in advance, while others are always last-minute.

Some are pro gig-economy preferring to rent, while others take great solace in their ownership.

Some live for status and wealth, while others for purpose and process.

There is no right or wrong. Whatever floats your boat. And brings you peace of mind. Be yourself.

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Up curve down curve

We know from experience that if we are happy, we smile more, and if we are sad we frown more.

But I had no clue that the reverse is true as well – and this was quite a revelation. My wife recently told me about the Facial Feedback Hypothesis. This was a study conducted in Germany, where the researchers found that it was indeed possible to trick the brain into becoming happy. How? Just stick a pen or pencil horizontally between the teeth, such that the mouth mimics a wide smile. That’s it.

The brain is apparently always monitoring external stimuli – i.e. what is happening to muscle tension, posture, heart rate, breathing, facial expressions and so on – in order to judge how one is feeling. It was observed that this simple pencil trick caused subjects to rate cartoons as much funnier than those who held the pen/pencil in between their lips (and not teeth), mimicking a frown.

Can we not use this in our daily lives, especially when we feel dejected about something trivial? Time to come up the curve!

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Badgoodness

In any horoscope, the 8th house is always considered bad. As per astrological rules, this house brings uncertainties, sudden falls, unexpected bad events and the like. If a strong benefic planet like Jupiter is in the 8th house, some astrologers condemn the poor native to a life of ill-judgement and dull intellect. Life, as we know it, can rarely be painted with such broad brushes.

The 8th house is bad to an extent, yes, but only materialistically. Then too, it can give rise to extraordinary future growth, if the native decides to look at his predicament as stepping stones – as learnings for the future.

What is often ignored though, is that the periods in life where the 8th house comes into focus tend to be the ones where the most spiritual advancement happens. So materialism and spirituality are naturally conflicting. As an example, if one loses money for whatever reasons (family feud, loss of inheritance, friend borrowed and fled, bonus cancelled), it might seem like the end of the world. But spiritual progress is achieved only when attachments and desires are consciously removed. Money tends to be highest on the long list of attachments we have. If a greedy relative, despite committing a variety of sins, seems to be rewarded with a lot of luxuries, we must not worry. The more one drowns in the quicksand of maya (read more here), the harder it is for them to get out.

If we can look at the loss of money as a good thing (bad is good), and embrace the fact that it doesn’t change our core being, we will inevitably mature spiritually. And where are we going to take all this money anyway? We do not need money – at the grave, only grace.

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Stalled

An 80 year old couple have been running a food stall since the 1980s. They survive each day on what they make selling their food. The pandemic had caused fear towards eating roadside food, and footfalls to the stall had dwindled to nothing. How were these couple to fend for themselves?

A good samaritan comes along, takes a video of the couple, puts it on social media and requests for help. Soon enough, the video goes viral, a lot of money is donated and the stall owner is beaming, business running brusquely.

Cut to a week later, and the stall owner lodged a police complaint against the good samaritan. Why? Because apparently the YouTuber kept most of the funds to himself. The elderly couple also claimed that in recent days, people were not coming as customers, but only to take photos and selfies. The YouTuber on his part has disclosed all his transactions publicly, claiming no malpractice.

What is the truth? I don’t know. But it is indeed amazing how people can find victory in adversity, and soon after, find adversity in victory. Surely I’m culpable too, as I’ve often wanted something to happen, and when that thing happened, the peace of mind that ensued was fickle at best. Something else would come up. And then something else. The cycle is never stalled.

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How to get others to like us

Swami Vivekananda used to say that the allure of a man is predicated on two things. The first is the ability to speak and sway with the spoken word. The second is the inner personality. While we may believe the former to be more important, Swamiji actually gave the latter more importance, saying it contributed over two-thirds to a person’s image.

Irrespective of which is more important, it is clear that we must work on ourselves, rather than expecting the world to accept us. Encouragingly, the acceptance will come unsolicited, if we become the best versions of ourselves.

We can read more, listen to podcasts more, watch more YouTube to pickup new skills or even join classes to increase our overall awareness of various art forms. These are all great, and must be pursued.

But an even better way to improve and completely transform the inner personality, is to serve others selflessly. The service is not rendered for anyone else, but for our own benefit, as it helps keep us grounded in this otherwise age of excesses. We could start simple – by helping someone unasked, once a week. Maybe a friend is going through a tough time and needs someone to listen, or a student needs some math tutoring, or a neighbour is sick and is struggling with cooking and managing their home. Whatever the case may be, anything done for others, with genuine interest in their well being, can surely find us a place in their hearts. This is far more productive and efficient than learning a new skill and attempting to impress someone.

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“Tell Me Something About Yourself”

The ‘TMSAY’ question. It’s the one consistent question across all interviewers and jobs. And the one most interviewees hate! Is that because it is so difficult to talk about ourselves? No surely that cannot be the reason. Everyone loves to talk about the biggest star in their lives (hint: themselves!).

Most answers are similar to “I worked here for x years and studied that for y years.” Instead of achievements, some career counsellors suggest we must focus on our qualities instead. What do I stand for? How many people have I helped along my way here? What inspires me? What are the things that I would do, even if I get paid nothing?

There are no right or wrong answers. But being truthful to ourselves, will guide us to where we want to be. Yes, maybe current circumstances do not permit a change of role, with a hectic schedule. But surely 30 minutes a day or even a couple of hours a week are enough to work on attaining that which is dear to us?

The TMSAY question is an amazing one, requires deep thought, and should be answered by everyone even if there is no interview. Who are we really. What are we doing here (not just the interview, but on this earth itself)? Are we who we really think we are – limited only to this body? Could there be more to all this?

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You are the best/worst

Since the day we were born, we have only been trying to please others. Why? Not necessarily for others’ sakes. But because it makes us feel good. We love the support, acknowledgement and adulation.

If we’d said the words ‘mama’ or ‘papa’ correctly, we would have been rewarded with big smiles and claps. If we built nothing more than a vertical tower of a few blocks of toys one on top of the other, we would have been showered with hugs and kisses “Wow! My baby is a genius!”.

In school and college as well, getting appreciated by our teachers and professors, and even by our friends and peers was a big thing. No great shakes then that this continues into professional life too. We don’t mind working weekends and late nights, so that we get the accolades from our bosses, in the hope we will be promoted this year or the next.

Think of any famous person – whether politician or actor or chef. How many people like them? How many people do not like them? Their fan following is often deeply divided.

So, is expecting praise wrong? Not at all. But we have become so conditioned by praise that the lack of it throws us into reverse gear. And even worse? We do not know how to deal with the other extreme, which is sharp criticism. Sure, we must not hurt or criticise others. But on the receiving end, we have no control over what others think or say. One bad comment can lead to fear of the future and in some cases even severe depression. We can help our cause by reminding ourselves that it is okay to receive flak. What is in our control – and hence what we can focus on – is our willingness and action to better ourselves and do good for society and the world.

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Clean up

In the 1980s, my Guru and his wife visited Washington DC. They were staying at the local Iskcon chapter there, paying the 100$-odd fee. Despite no affiliation to that society, the karma yogis that they both were (and still are), they spent all their time being useful to the people there. Guruji’s wife cooked for over 100 people daily, while he washed utensils and cleaned all the toilets. Did anyone ask them to do it? Not at all. Would I do it if presented with the chance? When was the last time I washed utensils or cleaned toilets or cooked for someone else, when visiting a relative’s or friend’s place? Visiting a third-party establishment and performing selfless service is many steps higher. The then President of Iskcon was so impressed by the selfless couple that he beseeched them to move permanently to Washington. Of course that never happened, and thankfully so, else I may have never got to meet my Guru. Even in this matter I can only be selfish!

All spiritual texts carry the same message. Give up attachments and give up desires. If this is done, then ownership of your body and my body and your house and my house and someone else’s toilets ceases to be. Common sense applies of course, but this sort of mental re-programming would aid in spiritual growth as the ego gets progressively subdued.

How does one break free from attachments and desires? By seeing the futility of it all. By realizing that ‘enough’ is only theoretical. It will also help to carve out a part of our lives in the service of others. This physical and mental clean-up will at least partially allow the egotistic ‘I, me , myself’ to be replaced by altruistic thoughts and actions.

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(D)anger

This happened:
– A kid that is shouting at the top of his voice is not allowing me to concentrate
– The paper boy stopped delivering the newspaper on time
– A colleague took the day off and dumped his workload on me
– A best friend lied to me about where he had gone
– The carpenter came an hour late and messed up my work schedule

I’m fuming. So angry. So very angry. Blinded by rage almost.

Then I got to know:
– That the kid is autistic
– The paper boy’s father passed away
– The colleague’s wife delivered 2 months prematurely
– The best friend was planning a surprise party for me
– The bus had broken down and the carpenter had to walk 7 kilometres

My anger vanished instantly.

Next time, I will try to give the benefit of doubt to the other person. Anger can come later; hopefully never.

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Good to Great, or the reverse

When Hanuman went to Lanka to rescue Sita, he laid eyes on Ravana for the first time. He described Ravana as “shining like a thousand suns”. He also remarked, “When it comes to greatness, Ravana might well be ahead. But when it comes to goodness, there is no match for Rama!”

Are good and great mutually exclusive? Not, but it is very difficult to combine both. These might explain the difficulty expressed by Scott Fitzgerald’s framework when he talks of having “Two opposing ideas but still retaining the ability to function”. Why? Because greatness gets to the head. The ego swells so much, that there is little room to think of others. Empathy and goodness are replaced by selfishness and greed.

Watching the superb Netflix series Scam 1992 depicts the protagonist Harshad Mehta going through the same conflict. Starting off humbly, and wanting to provide the best for his family, he gets sucked into the world of stock trading. Success after success fuels his ego to such an extent that no amount of wealth and fame is enough. Goodness gets thrown out the window, as fraud after fraud is committed in the quest for greatness.

We must strive for good. Whether great comes or not is irrelevant.

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To diversify or not?

In investing, there is a concept called diversification. It means all of one’s money shouldn’t go into just one investment. This is because such concentration increases the risk of loss. If all eggs are in one basket and the basket has a hole, then you are unlikely to get omelette for breakfast the next morning.

Diversification is helpful in life in general as well. It is good to have a good friends circle, and a trove of important relationships – maybe at least one lawyer, doctor, accountant, engineer would help! It is also good to have multiple income streams, rather than just depend on one salary. This has become easier in the digital age, with social media providing plentiful options to supplement one’s primary income.

A few generations ago, couples used to have 8-10 kids in order to diversify. While planning a vacation, it would be better to go to your spouse with 3-4 alternatives, rather than just going with one pre-decided choice, especially if she/he is not in a good mood. Ditto for taking some presentation templates to your boss!

One place where diversification is less useful, is when it pertains to spirituality. The ancients say it is best to have extreme focus. One Guru only. One Lord only. No supermarket shopping for either Gurus, or deities, or scriptures, or religions. All Truths are one and the same. No deviation, no diversion, because there is no need for it.

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Accepting praise

It feels so good when someone lauds us for something we did. It could be a boss praising us for good work, or colleagues for us getting a promotion, family for us clearing an exam or friends for us winning a match.

Praise is good, but more important is how we handle it. Some people handle it beautifully, graciously. Others – for even inconsequential wins – begin to gloat like they just conquered the universe.

Irrespective of external appearance, the best internal way to accept praise is to immediately attribute the success to someone else. There are two outstanding benefits to this approach.

1. Spiritually, one can attribute the praise to the Lord. We can think that without Him it is impossible to achieve anything. We have neither created nor designed anything here. We merely borrowed what is given by Him, and re-purposed it for our temporary requirements. This helps us because it subdues our ego, which is the single biggest hurdle on the path to liberation.

2. Materially, one can attribute the praise to creation/universe/Gurus/partners/parents/teachers/family/others – only because of whom such a conducive environment was made possible. This helps us because it de-stresses us for the future. We do not have to worry about ‘becoming unravelled as a one-trick pony’, or ‘not being able to replicate the success in future’. Why? Because the success was caused by others, we were only instrumental in it, and we have already passed on our heartfelt gratitude to them.

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Birthday of the truly timeless

Today marks Guru Nanak Jayanti. It is perhaps the most sacred festival in Sikhism. It commemorates the birth of the first Sikh Guru, Guru Nanak. During most of my childhood and youth, I would consider this birthday just another blessing – thanks to the additional holiday each year. But having read about Guru Nanak’s life and teachings in the book Ten Companions of God by J.P Vaswani, there are a lot of lessons for me to learn from.

Initially started as an offshoot of Hinduism, many core principles in Sikhism remain intact. The focus is on service, to humanity as a whole, and specifically to those in need. The underlying belief that the Supreme is One, is also similar. Many Sikhs greet each other by saying “Sat Sri Akal”. Sat is the Truth. Not like a spoken truth/lie, but referring to the only changeless Truth. Sri confers respect on Kal. And Kal refers to time, and a-Kal is the timeless. Thus there is only one True Timeless permanent fixture (aka God), and that is what Sikhs remember, when they greet each other.

There are 3 outstanding tenets Guru Nanak preached.

  1. Vand chako – Share whatever we have, and always be in the service of others
  2. Kirat karo – Be duty bound, work hard and and earn an honest living
  3. Naam japo – Meditate on God

So simple, yet so profound.

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Acronyms of a liberated soul

Just a fun post this one (aren’t they all!). Here’s how a liberated soul might react to some common acronyms:

ICYMI – In Case You Missed It – “There is nothing to miss, because nothing ever was.”
BRB – Be Right Back – “How can you be so sure? It is all a play of the Supreme”
AFAIK – As Far As I Know – “We know nothing. Even Saraswati says she knows less than 1% of all creation.’
G2G – Got To Go – “What is the hurry? In a 100 years from now, none of us will matter”
BTW – By The Way – “All ways lead only to Him.”
YOLO – You Only Live Once – “Couldn’t be further from the truth.”
OMG – Oh My God – “Why do you exclaim only in times of need? There is nothing besides God”
IMHO – In My Humble Opinion – “I have no opinion, it is all God’s plan and His doing only”
IDK – I Don’t Know – “Yes, you are right on that one”
LOL – Laughing Out Loud – “I’ll join you, because life is fun.”
FAQ – Frequently Asked Questions – “What is Brahman, Aatman, Paramatman, Maya, Moksha?”
DIY – Do It Yourself – “Who else will? You came alone, you will go alone.”

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Feeling good

Here’s an incident narrated by a good friend. She and her family went to a car showroom to buy a car. They had a budget in mind. The salesman came over and began his pitch. When my friend and her family then began to discuss options amongst themselves, they spoke in their mother tongue. As luck would have it, this was the mother tongue of the salesman as well. He immediately switched over to that language, figured out exactly what they wanted, and told them about precisely the car that would fit their needs, and budget. My friend says their family booked the car the very same day.

Here is my learning from the salesman’s actions. If I listen well enough, and make the other person feel comfortable (like by using their own mother tongue, or even by just smiling, and genuinely caring for the other person), then I will always improve my chances of getting the best possible outcome (here, a quick sale).

A few days ago, I had a bank job to take care of. Going to the bank during Covid19 is avoidable. Why there are still offline forms to be filled for ‘change of address’, when the whole world is going digital beats me. Sensing my discomfort, my relationship manager quickly and voluntarily offered to send a branch courier person to my house pick up the form.

These may be small things, but they go a long way in building relationships. Over time, we may forget the specifics of what someone did for us, but we will not forget how they made us feel.

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Shock and awe

We rarely learn or remember anything simply by reading. And certainly don’t learn if we are told we are wrong, or if we just come across the ‘correct answer’. We only learn when we are surprised or shocked by what we read; when our jaw crashes into the floor. We often pick up things to read with plenty of preconceived notions. But if something completely shakes or rattles our understanding, that’s when the maximum absorption happens.

We’ve discussed previously my Guru’s unmatchable not-to-be-missed Amazing Simple Gita purports (free, click to download pdf) and also Thiruvalluvar’s amazing Kural book (also recommended by my Guru). Here below are just a few statements from these that have had this shock-and-awe treatment on my life and learning experience, leaving an everlasting positive imprint.

  1. Spirituality is not unhappiness and crying, long face and sorrow.
  2. Renunciation shows maturity, spiritual adulthood.
  3. Death has to come one day, do not die every day worrying about it.
  4. Dharma is nothing but the absence of evil thoughts.
  5. Truth = that which is not evil = even a lie will be on par with truth if it brings unblemished benefits to all.
  6. If a householder lives a dharmic life, this is better even than hermits, and ranks as God.

Aren’t these just mind blowing? There are so many like these, and we can cover more in future posts if you wish. Do please leave a comment below if you like!

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LMGBTY

No this acronym is not about partner orientation.

These 6 words make up the most under used and under appreciated phrase in the English language.

“Let me get back to you.”

Oh the number of times I have made terrible decisions simply because I thought I had to give an answer right away. Almost never do we actually need to answer on the spot, apart from maybe a job interview. And then too, we can always take time to think about the ‘longer-term’ questions, such as on salary, benefits, relocation, change of role etc. Because rarely in life is anything so pressingly important.

Here are a few examples. When the husband gets an invite to a party he knows his wife doesn’t like – but he still impulsively says yes. When the boss asks you to finish a project over the weekend, and this weekend is for taking the kids out, but you still impulsively say ‘yes’. When the recruiter asks if you can join immediately, and you know you have a non-negotiable notice period, but still say ‘yes’. The answers to these questions may be driven by impulse, or even by fear – as though taking the time to think will lead to something disastrous – like losing a friend or a job. If it comes to that, it’s probably not the right job or friendship in the first place. On the flip side, our decision making is likely to improve significantly if we take the time to think a little about our decisions.

“LMGBTY please” may also serves as a good replacement for “I don’t know” as it may make us seem less dumb! We (and me for sure) could benefit from using it more often.

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More life more living

If someone was born in 1914, there was only a 1% chance that he/she would survive till the age of 100.

Thanks to medical advancements including the eradication of many deadly diseases, there is now a 50% probability that a child born today lives to a 100. In Japan, this number is 109 years.

Is this good? Indeed, it is wonderful news. But what matters is not the age itself, but the quality of the life we live.

Would we rather die 70 happy and carefree, or 100 stressed and depressed?

We are presented with many choices. The work we do (and the consequent stress we take on), the food we eat, the health we neglect, the exercise we strive to be regular with, the sabbaticals we take (yes, refuelling is a good idea – otherwise we are all just rats in a rat race!), the spiritual practices we so wish we could do, among many others.

The choices we make today, will go a long way towards improving our lives.

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Mind bind

There is a lot of confusion when it comes to topics like fate, free will, destiny, effort, luck, karma etc.

Do I have free will? If so, then how does astrology work? Why do people say I am destined for such and such problem to occur? Do I need to make any effort to change my circumstances?

Lord Krishna in the Gita answers these questions in one fell swoop.

Chapter 6, verse 5. He says that there is only one person responsible for both the highs and lows in one’s life. And that is the person himself/herself. Krishna also clarifies in this that everything depends on the state of one’s mind. If one uses their mind well, they can elevate themselves. If one denigrates themselves, they will fall. Remember the recent Maldives trip? (link)

The Amritabindu upanishad has the final say. Mana-eva kaaranam mokshaaya bandhaaya. The mind alone is the reason, for both liberation and bondage. Said simply, the mind is both the problem, and the solution.

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What makes us different

Name one person from history, who attained infinite peace from his/her:
– money
– title / status
– beauty
– immortality
– relationships
– accolades received from society

Which of these above are permanent features of our lives?

Are we ourselves permanent features?

Are we any different from all those people who have come and gone?

Do we want what is permanently good, or what is deceptively good?

We must think of the consequences of our thoughts, habits, desires and actions – and evaluate if what we want is really what we need.

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What do you want

A king was pleased with one of his subjects, and granted him a boon. “Make a wish, and it is yours.” The man desperately wanted a bigger house to fit his growing family in, so he asked the king for one. “Your wish is my command!” And the king’s men built a big house for the subject.

Nice story. Except, by some measure, the subject didn’t do his homework well. People came to him and told him that he frittered away his golden opportunity. Some said he could have asked for money, gold, ornaments or land. Still others told him to think bigger. The king was obligated to keep his word, and so the subject could have asked for control over the king’s army, or treasury or even his entire kingdom.

One saint came by, and said if there was one thing he should have asked, it would have been the power that enabled the king to give such wishes – the power of generosity and selflessness.

Notwithstanding these remarks, and putting ourselves in the shoes of the subject, what should we ask for? We pray every day. We go to temples, and we ask for money, for status and for other short lived objects and experiences. The Power who we are praying to, has the capacity to give us anything. Instead of praying for that which is Infinite, we are praying for temporary, ephemeral and inconsequential things.

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The Conjuring

Day 1: I’m finally going on a holiday. Next week. To Maldives. After an incessant workload this past year, compounded by the pandemic, and having had no opportunities for breaks in between. I’m so happy!

Day 2: There is no respite from work. Today’s workload has been the worst this whole year. But it is fine. My holiday is coming up, and the workload actually feels light. Happiness abounds.

Day 3: Mentally I’m already in The Maldives. The virtual smell of sand and salt water. Is this paradise already?

Day 4: Something has come up at work. A teammate had to take emergency leave. My trip has to be postponed. There is no alternative. Today, my workload is really less, but it feels like I am doing the entire company’s work singlehandedly. I’m feeling not just angry or dejected, but also tired.

Day 5: But there is a very good learning for me from all this. I have experienced a range of emotions from extreme joy to extreme despair. All these because of The Maldives vacation. But also all these without once setting foot in that country or beginning my vacation. Everything was just playing out in my mind. The actual reality? Irrelevant. Only what my mind was conjuring up mattered. Then why don’t I always conjure up good things?

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The ride of a lifetime

You have read before of the magical benevolence of my Guru (link) – specifically point 4, where he would give a lift to labourers walking in the hot sun. One way to think about this, is that it is wonderful and almost unthinkable for anyone to offer this sort of a service to those with lesser means.

But there is another deeper possibility. In this scenario, the labourers are none other than we ourselves. We are the ones walking in the hot scorching sun of Life – being tossed around from one thorny problem to another. The lush oasis in the distance, is in reality nothing more than a mirage.

The Guru in his infinite compassion, is picking us up in his car, and delivering us from the madness that is our lives, to moksha. What more could one ask for? Nothing. What can one give in return? Also nothing. Because nothing will ever be enough.

And yet what do we often do? We do not even get into the car. We doubt whether the car is even real. We question the driver, and his experience. We do not get in. Even if we do, we stick our heads out the window and keep looking back. Or we open the door, step out and walk away.

There will come a day when we all wished we had got in to the car and stayed in. Why not take the ride from today itself then?

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Sin City

Much is said about sin in the various religious books. Doing bad, it is prophesied, will send one to hell, and doing good will roll out a red carpet to heaven.

The question arises thus – “What constitutes sin?”. Is killing a mosquito a sin? Maybe? Is killing a mosquito – to save your child’s life because she now does not contract dengue – also a sin? Maybe not?

The Gita for one never says what is right or wrong. It only states unequivocally that the consequences of our actions must be borne by us. However it does acknowledge that sins exist (at least in our living world). If what is dharmic is that which is done in the interest of the greatest good, then actions intended at harming even a minority would be adharmic. In chapter 18, Krishna says that if one surrenders entirely to Him, then he would wash away all of that person’s sins. Isn’t that amazing?

To understand the enormity of Krishna’s magnanimity, one must only think of the various rituals that exist – such as homas / havans / pujas / sacrificial fire offerings. When performed comprehensively, each block of 4-5 verses is always followed by verses that explicitly seek forgiveness. Forgiveness that the ritual was performed correctly, that the ladle was held correctly, the mantra was pronounced correctly, that the mind was not wavering and so on and so forth. All this for a 30 minute ritual? Imagine the amount of forgiveness we have to seek then for committing a lifetime of sins! Despite this, Krishna offers a quick-but-permanent-fix to get rid of all sins forever. We just need to surrender entirely to Him. Would it not be worth the effort?

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1+1=?

Dominos Pizza recently launched a new pizza. My first reaction was “What kind of a weird combination is this?” The same reaction I observed in some of my colleagues / friends / family members as well when it came up for discussion.

The combo was that of pasta and pizza. Or rather pasta on top of the pizza. Who even came up with such an idea?

Of course we know things like “Do not judge a book by its cover” or “Beauty is only skin deep”. But I still couldn’t help but wonder who would have thought up putting this portmanteau of a dish together.

Having tried the pasta-pizza though, I was really surprised at how good it tasted. Not only did each individual dish retain its own flavour, but their synergistic convergence was drool inducing, and had me thinking about eating more slices long after the box had been emptied and thrown away.

So it is, that the whole can always be greater than the sum of its parts, as long as each ingredient gives its best to the mix. This is relevant for people as well. Instead of bringing up ego battles when two stalwarts come together, it is far more beneficial if they work together for mutual and wider benefit. The same goes for us. We each have many many wonderful things to contribute to the world. Why should our ego be one of them?

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Being nobody

There is only one difference between us and God. That difference, is the ego. The feeling that “I am”.

In material life, all success comes from “I am”. I am – an engineer, a charter holder, an accountant, an architect, a tennis champion, a saxophonist, a movie director, an Oscar winner, an artist, a photographer.

In spiritual life, only failure follows “I am”.

Swami Premananda, one of the foremost disciples of Ramakrishna Paramhamsa, was once told by a younger monk that Premananda was lucky because his Master had “made him great.”. To which Premananda immediately responded: “No! The Master did not make us great, he made us ‘nobodies.’ You also have to become ‘nobodies.’ Wipe out all vanity from the mind. The Master used to say, ‘When the ego dies, all troubles cease.’”

Practically for us, is it possible to live a life giving up our ego completely? Not at all. We will only be trampled underfoot. However, one can give their ego up to their Guru. This would mean doing as the Guru says, no questions asked. This path too is very hard, but at least the Guru is there to take care of us, acting as a safety net at all times. Practising this form of ego deposition at the Guru’s feet is not easy either, but it is perhaps the easiest of the various spiritual paths on offer.

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Why I’m (not) incompetent

As toddlers, when we wanted to speak better, we were surrounded by those who spoke well, and just kept repeating the same gibberish over and over. Today as an adult language learner, if we are in the company of a native speaker, we feel incompetent.

Where we previously studied and memorised many lists for many exams, today we feel incompetent. If someone at the workplace has better ideas than us, or gets promoted, we feel incompetent. Even at home, if a sibling or a cousin achieves more than us, we feel incompetent.

Incompetence is not jealousy, although it could stem from it. Incompetence is only an excuse to doing better, not a solution. It is this very same feeling of incompetence that leads to depression. Despite having everything, an unsolicited and unnecessary comparison to peers throws life off track.

What if we were to just accept the situation and let go? We are not very good at something? Okay so be it. If we can try to improve, then great, otherwise also great. In the long run, values matter more than skills, because skills can be outsourced and values cannot. Incompetence in values can and must be fixed. Peer comparison in skills is a waste of time, but trying to be the best most-humane person? Always a good thing!

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One-upmanship

An article published recently talks of the most bankrupt man in London. He’s the brother of a steel magnate. The steel magnate himself is doing well. A few years ago, this steel magnate wedded his daughter off at a staggering cost of 40 million pounds. FORTY million pounds, for the wedding of just one person. Wow.

Not to be outdone, his brother and now the most bankrupt man, upped the ante. He married his daughter off at a cost of – wait for it – 50 million pounds. Surreal!

Most people could fund 6 generations with that much money. But fine, if someone’s got the money, they are free to spend it the way they want right? Sure they are. But if that person had 50 million to spend on a wedding a few years ago, and has somehow become bankrupt today, what does that tell us? Perhaps a few business decisions went wrong, some error in judgment, a few articles mention fraud as well. I have no idea of the specifics.

But I can’t help but wonder, why the basics are so hard to follow. We all know speed kills, and so does greed. Then why would someone spend so lavishly on something, especially when they can’t afford it. If social status is so important (throwing a big wedding), then doesn’t bankruptcy demolish that very same social status? Being wealthy is great, but why rub it in other people’s faces?

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Morose code

A whole host of startups have emerged that seemed to be aimed at killing the joys of childhood. No more playing after school, no more watching cartoons, no more enjoying with other kids in the neighborhood.

Okay maybe its not so bad. But it’s certainly moving in that direction. The focus on academics has just gotten ridiculously high. Of course education is important, at least from a worldly perspective. Good credentials certainly help in getting jobs, and providing for the family.

But rats that most of us are, does the rat race have to begin at the tender age of 5?

There are now courses that teach kids to code. Some others teach kids ‘junior MBAs’ and ‘junior CEOs’. Putting undue pressure on kids is a dicey strategy, because they need to get to the age of 20 or 30 or 40 without suffering other mental health issues first. Fine, I get that coding has become a very important skill. But just alongside that, there are startups in the domain of ‘no-code’, which (simply put) means that these new age companies want to automate the process of coding itself. If this is the future, what then is the point of learning coding at age 5? Too much is changing too fast, and an inability to keep pace is leading to hundreds of millions of youngsters feeling inadequate, incompetent and helpless.

Laughing in the wind, rain on the face, mud in the shoes, learning values and morals from parents – those are the joys of childhood. Coding, CEO and MBA can wait.

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Physical or mental?

Renunciation is often misunderstood. It is equated with donning ochre robes and heading to the mountains as an ascetic. This physical jettisoning is certainly one form of renunciation. But it is a difficult path, and not suited to most.

If a mosquito starts buzzing around us in the comfort of our air conditioned homes, we get jittery. Simply by wearing ochre robes and going to meditate in a forest, the local mosquitoes over there will not leave you be.

Renunciation at the mind level is very difficult, but is perhaps more relevant. A person who has tamed his mind while living in the world as any of us is called a jivanmukta (i.e. liberated while living).

To some, mental renunciation may seem easier. But is it really so? For instance, it might be very hard for me to physically part with my money (say for a charity). But it is much easier for me to think mentally that I am unattached to the money in my bank account. The real test will be the day when someone needs the money I have ‘mentally’ given away. Will I physically be able to give it away as well?

This is why, ideally, both physical and mental renunciation must go together, as much as possible. As my Guru says, if we begin to give small amounts to charity today itself, then we will find that progressively we are able to share more of our wealth with the needy. The same is true of other physical needs as well. We can slowly but surely reduce our dependence on clothes, accessories, electronics and luxuries because one day we will realize these mean nothing in our quest for happiness. Might as well start small today, because nothing big comes without practice.

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Double century

Going back to the cricket reference that was highlighted here, yesterday’s blog brought up 200 posts! My heartfelt gratitude to you for reading this far. I’m super excited for us all to continue this journey of self-transformation together.

At this meaningful (for me at least!) juncture, I thought it would be useful to highlight some key posts so far, which can help us revisit solutions to our most common questions. So here they are – 10 of them – in no particular order:

  1. When will I become successful? – Link
  2. How can I get rich? – Link
  3. How much is enough? – Link
  4. What is the right time for spirituality? – Link
  5. On free will and choices – Link
  6. Can we improve ourselves? And how? – Link
  7. What is the secret of spirituality? – Link
  8. How can I be unique, successful and amazing? – Link
  9. Am I important? – Link
  10. What is in it for me? – Link

Thanks again for giving this blog your time. If you like it, please spread the word. If you don’t, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Next stop: 300!

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How to remember

When you were younger – in school and college, perhaps you struggled with remembering long answers, facts from history / geography, dates, numbers, specifics, names of people? Even to this day I struggle with these things.

My Guru says there are only two ways to overcome this. 1) Fall in love with the content. 2) Repeat/revise/recall.

1 and 2 are inter-related, because if you really love something, you will keep doing it again and again.

The question to Him then, is how to love a subject you really don’t like? His answer: To visualize that you like it. Keep saying that you like it. Keep thinking it, and keep feeling it. It will automatically happen. Not by some magic, but because that is the only language the brain (aka mind) needs and understands.

This is not very different from how a boy and girl who keep interacting with each other soon fall in love!

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Who can? No one can

We think we do everything with others. That man is a social animal. And that his life depends on those around him. That is true to some extent no doubt.

But ironically, the things that matter, can only be done alone.

No one can eat for you. No one can sleep for you. No one can breathe for you. No one can work for you. No one can feel your pain, certainly not physically. No one can feel your shame, or delight – at least not to the same extent. No one can die for you. No one can meditate for you. No one can practise austerity or charity for you. No one can take on your conscience.

Much of the journey of life is nothing more than a single player game, with no spawning, or reset buttons or additional lives. When we understand this, we will realize that we truly can depend only on ourselves. And spirituality teaches us how to fortify this self-dependence. That we are already complete and perfect as we are.

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Directness

2020 has been a rollercoaster year for everyone. Imagine if you could start 2021 on a different, more positive note. Like dividing the year into 4 quarters, and then becoming fluent in Chinese, Portuguese, Korean and Spanish. Fluent, in just 3 months each! Is that even possible?

Scott Young, the author of a book called Ultralearning, did exactly this. He went one entire year without speaking any English – his native tongue.

This is not just about languages. Scott takes this to the next level in so many ways. Despite always being a very average student in school, he completes an entire MIT engineering 4-year course in just 1 year, and that too without classroom coaching, but studying online. If all his techniques had to be distilled into one word, it would be ‘directness’. Directness is the practice of learning by directly doing the thing you want to learn.

How many times do we take up a new project, and let it linger in our minds, rather than in action? As he puts it, “Passive learning creates knowledge. Active practice creates skill.” There are plenty of other examples in his book – which all go to show that we each have no limitations whatsoever – except those enforced on ourselves by our own minds.

So, what are you going to learn in 2021?

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How to be welcome anywhere

Here’s a wonderful practical example of how being genuinely interested in others can bring dividends. This happened to a very close friend-couple of mine.

They had come to use the services of an auto-rickshaw driver a few times over the past year. As the pandemic struck in March and a full lockdown ensued, the income stream for auto and taxi drivers ceased.

The auto driver though, used to keep calling my friend-couple every few days, just to check in on them. When my friends offered him some money to help support him and his family through the tough period, he always refused, saying he was just calling to enquire about their well being.

This went on for a few months. One day, a relative of my friend-couple got the coronavirus and that whole family had to be admitted to a makeshift hospital. Food there was obviously not as good as home food, and so my friends graciously offered to cook food and send it over (so nice of them!). Obvious question then – the hospital is far off, how do they reach the home cooked meals over to that place? By-now-obvious-answer: the empathetic auto driver of course! It was no surprise that he was the first person that came to mind. My friend-couple engaged the driver for the next ten days, and were able to safely deliver the food to their relatives.

In his truly outstanding bookHow to Win Friends & Influence People“, author Dale Carnegie says that taking a genuine interest in others is a sure shot way to be welcome anywhere. Wouldn’t that be nice?

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Magical benevolence

We look for Gurus to perform miracles aka magic tricks. But those are of little use, leaving nothing more than a little smoke once the flame has disappeared. But the real miracles are when the Gurus bring about transformation in the thought processes of those around them. And these may come about from very trivial actions. A few such examples of incomparable compassion that I have witnessed in my 80+ year-young Guru:

  1. Picking up paper / banana peels / tissues from the floor, simply so that no one else has to bend for it.
  2. Personally cutting and serving fruits / food to everyone, even though helpers and volunteers abound.
  3. Not allowing anyone else to clean / wash the dishes, and treating all guests like royalty.
  4. Picking up labourers walking in the scorching heat and dropping them off at their destinations with an AC ride.
  5. Not favouring someone simply because they are family or kin, and doing this openly, brazenly. Family is everyone on the spiritual path, only.
  6. Open house – come anytime for spirituality and help with life, no matter how busy.
  7. Thinking well ahead, for others’ benefits.
  8. Taking problems unto himself and thanking the universe for it, as no one else had to be inconvenienced, and that he would be able to bear the difficulty much more than anyone else.
  9. Never complaining or criticising, no matter the mistake.
  10. Never tired, irrespective the time of day, with the curiosity of a child in learning new things.

These actions and many more have left an indelible mark on me and thousands of others who have observed such selfless services. In the wake of these, what good are magic tricks? Our focus must be on the magician instead.

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Who is being foolish?

The mentor in his/her years of wisdom keeps telling the newbie to build relationships and speak up more.
The newbie doesn’t listen. He thinks his mentor is foolish.
The newbie prefers to sit at his desk and work ‘hard’.
The newbie is doomed to learn only by experience, and not by the wisdom of his mentor.
Who is being foolish?

The parents in their decades of wisdom keep telling their child to study / practise hard.
The child doesn’t listen. She thinks her parents are foolish.
The child prefers to play or watch TV instead.
The child is doomed to learn only by experience, and not by the wisdom of its parents.
Who is being foolish?

Our Gurus / ancients in their millennia of wisdom keep telling us to embrace spirituality, meditate, fast, serve society and stay away from material objects and pleasures.
We don’t listen. We think the Gurus do not understand, as “life only happens once, and is to be lived and enjoyed.”
We prefer to party and indulge instead.
We are doomed to learn only by experience, and not by the wisdom of the saints of today and yore.
Who is being foolish?

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What is life?

  1. We are born one day
  2. We are dead another
  3. And in between we go through a variety of experiences
  4. These experiences evoke emotions within us
  5. Some of these emotions lead to learnings

No matter who we are, point 1 has already happened, and we cannot escape points 2 and 3.

Point 4 is in our control, but we tend to be the slave instead. According to our scriptures, liberated are those who only focus on point 5, learning and imbibing wisdom, finally moving from controlled to controller.

That’s about it, isn’t it?

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To rule or not

Not everyone can lead. But those who can, must. Why? Because if leaders don’t lead, then followers will lead. And not everyone is suited to leadership. Leadership is about helping others achieve what they want, while orchestrating collective good outcomes.

This thought can be expanded to other domains as well. If one has a charitable bent of mind, it is most important that s/he strives to earn more wealth. If s/he wants to donate large sums of money, having money to donate is an obvious pre-requisite! If someone is outstanding in soccer or music, then what use is it if their talents are suppressed in the wake of becoming doctors, engineers or lawyers?

There is major dearth of talent in a number of fields, with most people taking the path well trodden. At the same time, several unexpected leaders have emerged, both companies and people, in a wide variety of technology led disruptions. Indeed technology has helped age really stay just a number, while rendering gender and background inconsequential.

The world would be a better place if each one of us did our part with full gusto, in the larger interest of society, unworried by the consequences. Plato had the final say on this, “The heaviest penalty of declining to rule is to be ruled by someone inferior.

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Imagine

"Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace."

You know these lyrics. They’re from the amazing song called Imagine, by the legendary John Lennon (from The Beatles). When I was a kid, I used to love this song. I still do. But back then, it was all about the music and the tune, and less about the words. Ask me today, and I’ll say its almost entirely about the lyrics, and very little about the music.

My childhood was spent reading tons and tons of books of all kinds. I specifically loved comics – the Amar Chitra Kathas, the Tintins and the Asterix-Obelixes. And one thing I hated were my history books. I had a chance to re-read a few of these recently. And my word, what a revelation it was!

The books were the same and the songs were the same. Even the movies from those days are the same. All taken from a few decades ago. But one and only one thing had changed – decisively and conclusively. And that was me. The same is applicable to you as well. Just like a nuclear physicist will look at a 12th grade physics book and glean so much more from it than the 12th grader it was intended for. Same book, different interpretations.

Unlike (most) other animals on this earth, we are uniquely capable of generating experiences, learning new things and applying these principles, in order to grow ourselves. Imagine if we could do this for our books on spirituality, self-help books, motivational books etc. We could become outstanding versions of our current selves, irrespective of how good we are to start with.

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Sixth sense

There’s an interesting book called God Lived With Them, authored by Swami Chetanananda. It describes the lives and ways of select disciples of the late spiritual master Ramakrishna Paramahamsa.

While there can be so many takeaways from the book, one thing struck me as very relevant for practical worldly life. And that is the need to integrate sensibility with spirituality. We have touched on this aspect several times here at FHN. But reading about it as applied by Sri Ramakrishna himself, is quite an eye opener.

The Master is often considered as the greatest Goddess Kali devotee that ever lived. He used to lovingly refer to her as his Divine Mother, and the relationship they shared was surreal. He would very often go into deep states of meditation (called samadhi), and be lost in divinity for hours on end. In this god-intoxicated state, Ramakrishna would be totally unaware of his physical body and surroundings. Even so, he would always instruct some disciples around him to protect his physical body. Why should he do that? Because the Guru’s body is key to benefitting the rest of humanity. And hence the disciples are dutybound to protect their Guru.

We can argue that Ramakrishna was spiritually realized and hence could have taken care of his own body, perhaps through some ‘magic’. But he did not. He was practical and sensible. Just as we should be too, all the more if we have not reached the upper echelons of spirituality.

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The right age

My Guru, at the age of 81, works 18 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. No this is not like going to office for getting a salary. Rather he works selflessly and tirelessly for others, with zero pay. No bonus, no increments. All assets willed away to charity. Nothing but the future of the world and its good citizens as his sole concern. Yet I have never once seen him complain or display weariness.

Can he control the world around him? Hardly. But himself? Oh his control over his mind is phenomenal. He says he was not always this way. But practise of sacrifice, austerity and charity has made all the difference.

When did he become like that? At age 20? Or 40? Or 60? Or when he started getting white hair? Or after he retired? Or after he had kids? Or after he shifted jobs?

He became like that the moment he decided to, which was well in the prime of his youth. And that is exactly what he and all the other spiritual masters preach as well. While we are busy becoming dizzy in the world, we tend to postpone anything remotely selfless and spiritual to when get ‘older’. Many 70-year olds still give the same excuse!

The decision, and the benefits, are ours.

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What to look for in a partner

Ask some youngsters how they would choose their life partners. “My girlfriend / boyfriend / fiancé / fiancée and I love the same movies / books / TV shows / music / food.” i.e. the answers tend to revolve around interests and hobbies.

Such match making could be disastrous.

Why? Because likes, interests and hobbies (can) change. The songs, movies and books we liked 10 years ago, 5 years ago and 2 years ago are not the same anymore. And 5 years down the line, not only will our tastes change, but our partner’s tastes will change as well.

Instead of trying to match likes and dislikes, what is most critical to match is values and value systems. If I’m soft spoken, value humility and honesty and have a charitable bent of mind, it is very difficult to get along with a spouse who is loud, boastful, cuts corners and is miserly. And liking the same type of action adventure movies is not a panacea for this wide gulf of a difference.

This is where some virtues of arranged marriages (advice from family/elders) and the use of astrology (to identify deep-seated character traits of an individual) can help. Not as tools to force people to marry against their will, as is commonly portrayed. But as a mechanism to ensure the ‘core’ wavelength matches, because the rest is just fluff.

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In or out

“Did you play cricket inside the house again? Did I not tell you never to play cricket inside? Now look what you’ve done – the tubelight is broken and the paint has chipped off the walls.”, scolded the father. “But daddy it wasn’t me. My brother started it, and then the neighbour kid joined in. And I only got here last!”

When we were younger and our parents would scold us for some mischief, the instinctive response would be to drag a sibling or friend into the reproachment.

That instinct doesn’t change for most people, given how protective we tend to be of our own self-images. On the path of spiritual transformation, this attitude is not very helpful. A self-help book is called so, because it is supposed to help us, the readers.

Instead, such a book ends up being an excellent point-and-shoot weapon, which we use not on ourselves, but as a tool to freely and confidently identify the improprieties of those around us. “This book teaches us to not be jealous. I’m going to gift this book to my sister-in-law and hope she gets the message!” Or “The author has so beautifully described how we should not become angry, and almost seems to have kept my husband in mind while writing it!” And so on.

However as we well know, the only transformation that matters – is that which happens within. For which the book-weapon must be pointed only at ourselves.

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Wonderland to wasteland

We’ve seen previously how one of the definitions of Dharma is ‘the stabilization force’ or ‘balancing factor’. This weekend, I watched a documentary featuring none other than Sir David Attenborough, the 93-year-young foremost nature conservancy expert in the world. Freshly released on Netflix, the film is titled A Life on Our Planet. And boy was it an eye opener. The scenes are a mix of joy (unimaginable biodiversity), tragedy (this biodiversity is dying, or rather we humans are killing it), and hope (of restoring this balance).

Here are a few painful and mind numbingly hard-hitting facts recounted in this documentary:

  1. We cut down over 15 billion trees a year.
  2. In all, we have cut 3 trillion trees. This is half of all the trees on the planet.
  3. 90% of all large fish in the sea are gone, due to overfishing.
  4. As a consequence, a significant part of the marine ecosystem is dead.
  5. This has impacted the oceans ability to absorb carbon dioxide, which has led to warmer climates, and erratic seasons.
  6. In each of the past 5 mega extinctions, it took volcanic eruptions 1 million years to increase the temperature. Thanks to our industrialization, we have increased the temperature in under just 200 years.
  7. Of all the mammals on earth, all humans together weigh 56%. The food humans eat (cattle reared for meat etc.) makes up 40%. Just 4% – are all the other mammals put together – from mouse to blue whale.

Mother Earth has given us everything for free. But if we do not know how to receive graciously, She will not hesitate to rebalance the power. We must do our very best – living mindfully, both collectively and individually, in order to save the planet and ourselves. Otherwise, an unmitigated disaster is on hand.

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Why gratitude helps

We are always thinking about ourselves. Always. Maybe about how we move to the next rung in the career ladder. Or how we can diversify our income sources. Maybe how / when to find a partner. Or how to raise kids. Maybe how to make that important presentation at work this week. Or what to cook for today, tomorrow, day after. Maybe what the neighbours might say about what we might say to them. Or what our extended family might comment about our buying a new car. Or where we should plan a trip to in the coming festive season. Maybe about how I’m wasting time thinking about all these things, when I can better spend this time reading a book. But oh which book should I pick? Will this book help me in my work, and can I talk about it in my social circle? There’s also this party this weekend where I’ll be meeting all these people after so long – what should I wear? Have I become fat with so many days cooped up at home? Maybe no one will notice. But what if they do? And on and on and on it goes…

With so many random thoughts going on in our minds at all times, it is no wonder that we are anxious and stressed easily.

If we are on stage, and the spotlight is on us, can we see anything around us clearly? Not at all. Gratitude helps because it takes the spotlight off of us, and puts it onto someone or something else. It is that simple. And worth it. Next time we feel anxious or worried about something, we just need to thank our stars for what we already have, including our families, friends, employer, opportunities and everything else. We will tangibly notice the anxiety slipping away.

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The secret formula

Singapore is a developed country by any standard of measurement. But this was not always the case. After its separation from Malaysia in 1965, the fledgling nation was struggling with problems including mass unemployment, housing shortages and lack of land and natural resources.

There’s a crisp and wonderful interview by Prof Kishore Mahubani of the Singapore government. Apart from speaking of his very humble beginnings, he also explains the secret behind Singapore’s success.

He says the secret is a formula called MPH. No it’s not miles per hour. It’s meritocracy, pragmatism and honesty. Meritocracy means only the deserving get recognized. Pragmatism means doing what it takes to get the work done, which he wonderfully summarizes as “It doesn’t matter if a cat is black or white, as long as it catches mice”. And last but not the least, honesty.

If these can work for a country of 5 million people, surely the principles will come in handy for us at a personal level as well.

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Brushing it away

Here’s a simple experiment I tried. While brushing my teeth first thing in the morning, I tried to count the number of thoughts I had. Without worrying about what I was thinking about, I just let it all flow. I must have counted some 30 or 40 thoughts easily. Plenty of things about the day ahead, what new work I might get, who I might meet, what my boss might say, what my colleagues might say, how I might respond, how I should respond, whether I’m ‘stuck’ in my career, whether I can ever become a millionaire, a billionaire even, some thoughts about the experiment itself, how many thoughts were flowing through, and on and on.

The one thought I didn’t have? About the brushing itself!

Lord Krishna in the Gita says that the one dearest to Him is one who is always thinking about Him. There are many who fight to get into a temple, after standing in long crowded lines, often starting at 2 am (not unlike an iPhone launch!). There are others who attend many spiritual talks and gatherings and proudly keep count. In the pandemic work-from-home era, online sessions have become a new normal with attendees proffered with the choice of flitting between spiritual satsang sessions as they like.

But what comes out of all this? Mental peace and calm? Hardly. How many times during the day is my focus fully and solely on the Creator? The mind continues to be replete with wavering thoughts and is scarcely transformed. Real change can only come through objective self-evaluation followed by purposeful and conscious implementation of what is learnt, step by step.

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‘Car’pe diem

It comes naturally to people with a finance / accounting background to try and compute an ‘intrinsic value’ for everything.

When I was looking to buy a car a few years ago, I was trying to understand how much of the car value would get struck off right out the showroom. This is why some people only buy used cars. A subsequent survey revealed to me that about 20% of the value of the car would get depreciated at the end of year 1 itself. As I was trying to get my hands around these numbers, I reached out to a very good friend for advice.

“Hey, I’m trying to figure this car purchase out. Seems like a sunk cost this thing. I put in money, and then a fifth gets wiped out in 1 year. This depreciation of the asset seems too high. What should I do?”

My friend said, “Dude, chill, you yourself are a depreciating asset. We all are! Do you realize that? Just do what you want, but enjoy the moment!”

It’s not like we do not know it. But the way he put it – it really opened my eyes. Why was I worrying about depreciating assets, while I myself was/am depreciating? This is not to say one must not be savvy about personal finances. Much the opposite in fact. But trying to save every last penny is likely to result in anxiety that negates the benefit from the savings.

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Why so studious?

What our education teaches us:
Science, Math, History, Geography, Civics, Literature, Accounting
How many of these do we remember?
How many of these do we use on a daily, monthly or even yearly basis?

What our education does not teach us:
Being happy; accepting failure; living peacefully; values and morals; serving others; dealing with others
How many of these do we wish those around us would practise?
How important are these on a daily, monthly, yearly basis, compared to what we are taught?

In formal education, we are taught about making a name for ourselves, achieving our goals and building wealth. These are great. But is this what education is supposed to be about? When everyone cannot be numero uno or win at everything, what does that do to the morale of those who are ‘left behind’?

A Wharton MBA session had just commenced. The professor asked all those who had ever stood first in their undergrad degrees or 12th grade exams to stand up. Over 95% of the class got onto their feet. Shocker – everyone there had been a topper! What happens then? Suddenly the slate has been wiped clean, and competition, stress and depression follow. No wonder then that a course offered by Yale University, that ‘teaches’ happiness (called The Happiness Lab) is by far the most opted-for course out of all the hundreds on offer. None of their classrooms could accommodate all the students so they had to conduct it in their orchestra theatre 🙂

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Can we see God?

If we ask a cat how God would look, he would say God would be the most majestic cat ever, with the most amazing stripes, silken whiskers and soft paws par excellence.

An octopus would disagree. Because her version of God would be the octopus with the most bulbous head, strong flexible tentacles, and the camouflage capabilities that would put a chameleon to shame.

Likewise an elephant would say a grand majestic granite-grey twin-tusker elephant would be God, whilst an ant would say God is the most beautiful Queen of all Queen ants.

When everyone has their own version of God, it is no surprise that the Lord Himself in the Gita says very clearly, that no one isolated entity is God. Instead, every nook and cranny of all Creation is a reflection of God, if not God Itself.

Let’s say we wish to buy a specific type of car, a Tesla perhaps. For the next few days, weeks and months, we will suddenly begin to spot so many Teslas on the road. If one has just been blessed with a baby, they will suddenly spot only babies everywhere. Not that there were any fewer Teslas or babies before, but just that the seeker’s focus has become sharper and pointed. Looking for God is no different. He is everywhere. If we look at everything as a Divine Creation, we will see Him everywhere, because truth be told, there is nothing else.

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Had a rough day today?

Had a rough day today?

Somewhere, a barnacle goose gosling is laughing it’s tiny head off.

Chronicled beautifully in BBC Earth’s Life Story, the little fellow epitomizes the resilience of life. He also teaches us about the abundance in our own lives, and how little we appreciate this.

Barnacle geese found often in Greenland and Siberia, lay their eggs high in Arctic cliffs, 100s of metres above land. They do this to safeguard their chicks from predators. Once hatched though, the chicks need to feed on grass, found only on the land below. The goslings can’t fly yet, being just one day old. Hence they have no choice but to jump off the cliffs, and hope to land in one piece at the bottom. Their trips down are dramatic – to say the least. Their minuscule heads and bodies dash against the cliff face, bouncing from one rock to the next as gravity causes them to plunge down at breakneck speed. The survivors (not all make it) hit the ground and must keep moving to reunite with their parent geese. No looking back, no licking their wounds, no time to brood or gain sympathy.

You can watch the 5 minute video here. Totally worth it!

So, had a rough day today?

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Kid vs Wild

Bear Grylls (from Man vs Wild, the amazing TV show) recently did a special episode with Indian actor Akshay Kumar. It was probably not as wild as his other episodes, but he did make AK drink fresh elephant-dung-tea. So full points for that.

The heart to heart conversations between the two were nice. AK spoke of his humble beginnings – serving as a waiter in Thailand, and simultaneously learning martial arts, and then getting a break in modelling and thereafter in acting. He also stressed upon the need to be good parents. To never build in his children a sense of entitlement, them having been born with a silver spoon.

This is an important point. Most parents today pamper their kids no end. It is not uncommon to witness 5 year olds in posh neighbourhoods throw tantrums while getting picked up from school by the household’s second car (Hyundai) because it is not as good as their first car (Mercedes). Parents too think “Oh my sweet little baby. Let him/her have all the best luxuries in life, because I struggled so much to become successful.” And then when the kids grow up and don’t listen to their parents or talk back, the parents are distraught. What else were they expecting? Success doesn’t come easy. If it does, then it is highly unlikely to be valued, and hence sustain.

The ancient Indian advice on raising kids is amazing. “From their birth to age 4, treat your kids like Gods. From 5 to 15, treat them like servants. From 16 onwards, treat them like your best friends.” The word ‘servant’ is one some may take offence to. But the world is a harsh place, and doesn’t care what one’s upbringing has been like. Getting kids to work their backsides off ensures they not only understand the importance of working hard, but are also physically attuned to putting in their blood, sweat and tears whenever required. Kids must be readied for survival, otherwise they are only being plumped up for sacrifice.

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Illusions

Ma is ‘not’, and ya is ‘that which is’. Put together Maya refers to ‘that which is not’. The divine men and women call Maya as an illusion, and nothing more than a cloak of unreality. They refer to the world around us as unreal, or made of Maya.

It is said that Maya springs from attachment to worldly objects. This attachment is what gives Maya its innate strength. We all know what is right, but are still pulled towards doing the wrong things.

When a spiritual text refers to the world as unreal, it is easy to dismiss this as hogwash. “I can touch and feel everything around me, how can this world be unreal?” The word unreal here must be read as impermanent. That we (somehow incredibly) expect everlasting joy from objects whose lives themselves are finite – is a demonstration of the true power of Maya.

How do we get out of this? The trick is to not get caught up in the current mood. An example is that of economic forecasters. Studies have shown that they almost never get their predictions right. When oil is at 30$, they become super pessimistic, and when oil is at 120$ they become super optimistic. When countries are at their peak performance, they upgrade GDP growth estimates, and when economies hit rock bottom, they slash growth forecasts. In life, we too get caught up in the moment, and that leads us to take things to extremes instead of practising moderation.

The Buddha’s entire teachings revolved around breaking out of the clutches of Maya. His core message was that attachment is the root of all suffering. Interestingly, Maya in reverse is Yama, who is the God of death. Can’t help but wonder if there is a connection.

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This is all you need for pink health

My Ayurveda doctor says I need to consistently follow just 4 rules if I never want to take another medicine again.

  1. Sleep by 9.30 pm.
  2. Eat only when extremely hungry and not a minute before.
  3. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables.
  4. Do not consume milk, even in tea or coffee.

That’s it!

Is this too easy to follow? Or too difficult?

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Cul de sac

A cul de sac is a French expression, but is often used in English as well. It refers to a road that is only open on one side, aka – a dead end.

Life itself is a dead end, quite literally. One can have all sorts of aspirations and ambitions, but when life is done, those materialistic dreams are of no value to the dreamer as the dreamer is no more.

Although we may consider our own achievements very personal, nothing has been or can be done without external support. As Thiruvalluvar says in one of his Kurals, even an unmarried student and an austere hermit can carry on their duties only because others like the ‘regular’ householders are fulfilling their own duties.

So how should we live? Should we just be fatalistic and not do anything? All the wise men tell us the exact opposite. Instead of living for ourselves, they suggest we live for others. We can live not as doormats, but as stepping stones, helping others achieve their dreams.

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Lion king sting

There is a big debate between idealism and spirituality. When a God has said that this is right and this is wrong, why do people not follow it? Why do I not have the freedom to do as I please? Why do people still commit mistakes? Why is the government not stopping these people from doing their (barbaric) acts?

There are staunch feminists who say “I will wear whatever I want. My choice. My freedom.” And that is indeed correct. But the same logic then applies to perpetrators of crimes as well, and they too do whatever they want. We should ideally have a fool-proof legal and judicial system that doesn’t let even a single crime go scot free. But our life experiences tells us that this is far from the truth.

This is not about being feminist or anti-feminist. This is about being practical. If we want to live in a lion’s den, we must prepare well, or else we will become lion food. Yes this is unfair, but that is (unfortunately) the world we are living in. We deal with lions (or worse) day in and day out, and in all walks of life. Some lions also do not look like lions, so it is hard to know what/who they really are. We may also not be spiritually advanced enough to throw our hands in the air and say “Oh Lord you take care of me” as a menacing lion approaches. We may have read and imbibed our scriptures, but the lion has not! Survival first, spirituality (and other things) next.

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Sorry I don’t have time

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you dear! Happy birthday to you!” And everyone is so happy and celebrative. Right from childhood to adulthood to ‘old’hood, that one day of every year makes us feel truly special. But what are we celebrating? Or rather, why are we celebrating? We are only getting older, not younger, and in many cases not even wiser.

We yearn uncontrollably for money and status. But if there is one thing we must yearn for, it is time. It is the biggest treasure of all, and also the scarcest. The only plausible way to ‘buy time’ if at all is through better health, diet and exercise. Even so, phrases like “I don’t have time” crop up multiple times a day as part of our conversations.

It is worth thinking about “I don’t have time.” It rarely means what is said. It only suggests, “This is not a priority for me.” There are certain draining, money-sucking pursuits and people (like agents calling us take on new loans we don’t need) that we can certainly push back on. But lack of time can never be an excuse for not getting physical exercise. Or meditation. Or a better diet plan. If we are saying no to these things for lack of time, then we have our priorities all mixed (messed) up.

One way to help stay on track, is to take up a challenge publicly (not necessarily via social media, but even committing to family members helps!). This makes it harder to give up midway, because we now have a public image to maintain.

Quitting is easy, prioritization is hard. As they say, “Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.”

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Making room

Blaise Pascal, a famous scientist and philosopher, wrote in 1654, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

This is worth pondering, as it links to why our search for happiness always ends in failure.

As toddlers, we had no cares in the world. Yes we needed food and the occasional cleaning. But our lives were not driven second-by-second in the pursuit of some big goal. The goal itself is not the cause of anxiety, as much as our expectation that when we achieve the goal, the world will take notice and offer us something in return. This by definition is a fool’s errand, because it is impossible to change the world. All we can change is ourselves.

In several spiritual camps in India, it is a requirement that one spend a day or two in complete solitude. A room with no electronics, no books, no outlet and no one else. A plate of food will be slid under the door from time to time. The exercise helps build inner strength, although many participants quit well before halfway.

Happiness comes from being content with who we are. Material success on the other hand springs from dissatisfaction. While these are separate things for the realized masters, it is hard to distinguish for normal people like me. That is why I need to keep reminding myself at every step, “I’m driven to achieve my goal. But no matter the outcome, I’m already enjoying every step of the process.”

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Complification

Have you heard of the FK score, as it pertains to writing? Called the Flesch-Kincaid score, it is available on all Microsoft Word programs on Windows and Macs. I only came across this recently.

The FK score is pretty cool. It takes any written material, like a bunch of paragraphs, and grades it. A grade of 8 for instance, would mean that the average 8th grader American student would be able to fully understand the writing. A grade of 33 (it’s possible!) would mean the student would have to be in the 33rd grade to fully grasp the content.

Ideally there should be an FK score in life too. We are all too easily swayed by the complex. There’s a name for it too – complexity bias. A 300-page book is preferred over a 30-page one, even if the latter has much better content. An all-organic shampoo that boasts of aloe vera, ylang-ylang and lavender is immediately preferred to a more effective homemade mixture. A doctor that prescribes 1 tablet for each day of the week is considered more knowledgeable than one that asks you to exercise and eat healthy. An investor would prefer to throw his hard-earned cash at a start-up with no proven business model but spewing complicated jargon like AI, ML and Big Data compared to a well-established business.

One thing is for sure. Complexity sells. But buyer beware. The challenge with complexity is that it is unsustainable. And when that becomes the case, we feel drained and worn out. As Confucius said, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” Let us return to simplifying our lives, in whatever little way we can.

And just in case you were wondering, this blog post has an FK grade of 6.5. Not bad 🙂

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How to think clearly

When are our minds crystal clear for decision making? When we are making decisions for others!

Think about it. Your best friend is in deep trouble in his relationship. Your advice comes pat, “Leave her, she’s not the one for you. She does not share your core values.” Or the new neighbour who has been struggling to gel with the others in the society. “Hey, why don’t you invite them over for lunch this weekend? They will get to know you better, and it will cement your place in our group.” There are also the slightly obese ones to whom we are able to easily say, “Boss, your eating habits are terrible. You need to stop drinking 3 cans of coke a day, start including some salad in your meals, and go for a run.” If someone comes to us for business / job advice, our minds are quickly able to put together relevant and useful solutions. “My suggestion is, you write directly to the HR head. Reach out via Linkedin, not via email. Mention your years of experience upfront. Also speak to this guy I know from before – he will definitely connect you.”

Haven’t we all experienced this? Unimaginable clarity, when it comes to helping others.

Then why do we struggle to help ourselves the same way, when we are each so capable? Because of our desires and attachments to the end goals we think we deserve. These delude us, and prevent us from taking the right decisions. What is the way out? To remove the ego, and be honest to ourselves and those around us. Not honest from a ‘speaking the truth’ point of view. But honest from the view that ‘we must see the reality for what it is’.

It would also help to surround ourselves with people who will call a spade a spade. Because just like we so easily help others, others too will find it easy to help us. Win-win!

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Here is the solution

What is your problem?

This is the question I keep asking myself. Why do I become sad? Why do I get moody? What am I lacking?

When I dig deeper, the problems surface. But the solutions surface alongside too.

I don’t have time. Ok so wake up early!
I still don’t have time. Ok so plan well and prioritize even better!
I don’t have money. Ok so save more, invest more, spend less!
I don’t have strength. Ok so exercise more!
I don’t look good. Ok so workout more, eat healthy!
I don’t have any friends. Ok so go out there and build relationships!
I’m not good at extra-curriculars. Ok keep practising and trying out new hobbies!
I don’t have a good job. Ok then prep well and hustle for your next interview!
I don’t know enough. Ok so read more books and listen to more podcasts!

We know where the problems are. More importantly, we know where all the solutions lie!

(Hint, not outside) 🙂

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So phishy!

Phishing. We’ve all heard of this. The email scams that attempt to impersonate legitimate businesses and steal our credit card, bank account and other payment information. The cover emails look harmless, but they play on our emotions, and need us to act immediately. This link says that a staggering US$ 12bn has been stolen due to phishing scams in the US over the last five years alone. So the global amount is likely to be many many multiples of that!

Funnily enough, we also get phished in normal day to day life – nothing to do with bank accounts or the internet. Here are some typical conversations.

“Hey, did you see my new car? Brand new model, collector’s edition, turbo-charged, 0-100 in 3 seconds. A true beast!”
“Hey, here’s my new iPhone [X][Maxx][Retina][Pro], with [10] in-built cameras. This is tech from the future!”
“Hey, check out my new microwave oven. It’s got IoT connectivity, auto-menu and gourmet wave modes. State of the art!”

What’s the connection to phishing you ask? Instead of giving up our bank accounts, when we are on the receiving end of such conversations, we quickly and voluntarily give up our peace of mind instead.

Cybersecurity experts warn against becoming emotionally involved while reading phishing emails. This would be good advice in general too. Not everyone can own the latest car or purse or gadget. Most importantly, not everyone needs to either. It helps to ask, “Are we the owner, or the owned?”

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Really

What we want
Money, Cars, Houses, Status, Travel, Friends

What we really want
Time, Acceptance, Acknowledgement, Togetherness

What we need
Food, Shelter, Clothing, Education

What we really need
Peace, Freedom, Wisdom, Happiness

Everything we really need is already available within us. But our focus is always on the outside world, comparing with which, we invariably see ourselves falling short.

We each are already perfect and complete. Really.

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Ready, get set, gekko!

Yesterday night, a big fat lizard (okay a little exaggeration here I admit) appeared suddenly from behind the wall clock. A few shrieks and screams from the householders later, we ran to open the window, and tried to shoo him out. The end game was clear. Armed with a broom, a stick, and a strict non-violence policy, we had to keep tapping on the walls and direct him to the opening. Every few seconds, when he was so close to getting out, he would turn last minute and scurry back into the room in another direction. After 10 minutes of stick tapping, furniture moving and light toggling, he finally scrambled out. Phew. Peace. We could now sleep at ease. No worry of a lizard falling down on our faces while asleep.

But this was just one lizard. Who knows if there are any others hidden in the darkness?

The episode couldn’t stop me from thinking about the similarities to life. When a problem hits us, we tend to focus all our energies on it. We run behind it like the rest of the world has stopped. We may forget that we have a room or even a house full of space, with wonderful people and things (and one tiny lizard). If we are unable to drive the problem away, then we keep worrying about it, often unable to sleep. Even when the problem is gone, we wonder if there might be other problems lurking nearby.

The gecko is quite common in India. Ask any villager how to tackle them, and they will tell you that they don’t even think twice about the reptile. The lizards help control the insect population, always just mind their own business, and often leave mysteriously (through some orifice) at sunlight, the same mysterious way they made their way in, in the first place.

The villagers’ behaviour is no different from that of a realized soul when it comes to tackling problems in life. They exist, they are acknowledged and then they are wilfully forgotten, because the focus has already shifted back to the good.

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Where’s that motivation?

Incentives. That’s what makes the world go around.

Think about it. Would you go to work tomorrow happy and excited, if your salary was doubled overnight? Or if cut in half?

Seems obvious, but we never willingly do anything unless we see merit in it. Thank you, inertia. Questions abound. What is it that I will get by doing this? What is in it for me? From a spirituality point of view, these might be terrible questions to ask. We are in fact always taught to reduce our attachments and desires. However, given that we are anyway in the material world and running after material things, we might as well put this to good use.

We may not be able to change our own salary / bonus, and nine times out of ten, the incentives provided to us are inadequate. But what if the incentive was the quality of our work and not the money? This is possible and only needs a mindset shift. There can be nothing more satisfying than seeing our own work done in the best manner possible, much like a Michelin star chef might marvel at his most requested dish. We must each think for ourselves. What incentivizes me? Is it money? If so, how much? And what do I need to learn / teach myself so that I get there?

We often mistakenly believe though that it is our quality of work alone that gets us into better positions. Sure, quality is important. But think about the mobile phone in your hands right now. It must have what, 100s of components in it? Such a beautifully crafted instrument. Do you think there is only one person on earth who knows to manufacture these to precision? No chance! So no worker is irreplaceable. Not even the leader of a nation (although some are better than others!).

While quality of work matters, quality of relationships matters even more. People may not remember the work you did for them. But they will remember the time you gave them, the attention you gave them, the affection you showered upon them and the empathy you treated them with.

And hence incentives are absolutely critical when dealing with people as well. Think of all the people you know in your professional life, personal life, sports life, gym life, hobby life, spiritual life and every other walk of life. How are they doing? How much better would they be doing if they had incentives that were aligned to their tasks at hand? When working with them, do they always do their role well, and does it somehow impair your work too? What is it that we can offer them, so that they enjoy their work – whatever it might be? The incentive doesn’t need to be monetary always, and therefore we don’t need to be someone’s boss in order to help them. It could even just be offering respect, admiration, love, concern and empathy among other things.

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Life is so simpill

What I must focus on to achieve success?
Skill

How can I improve skill?
Drill

I know what’s good, but still only do bad – what do I lack?
Will

What type of worries can I entertain?
Nil

Despite life’s challenges, how must I live?
Chill

How should I keep the mind?
Still

What is the best currency I can earn?
Goodwill

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The new www context

Here is a short paragraph taken from Nate Silver’s interesting book called “The Signal and the Noise: The Art and Science of Prediction“.

"Information becomes knowledge only when it’s placed in context. Without it, we have no way to differentiate the signal from the noise, and our search for the truth might be swamped by false positives."

This is applicable not just for predictions, but also in our daily lives. We are inundated with data points of all sorts, aren’t we? At work, junior employees often work irritably on specific mundane tasks, without understanding the impact of their overall contributions. Separately, a govt. might enact a variety of structural reforms – but regardless of the reform, some will support and others oppose. Whatsapp messages abound with magical cures for all sorts of ailments, but who is to say for sure? Plenty of images circulate, claiming all sorts of things – but how would one know these aren’t hoaxes?

We face such contextual conundrums even in spirituality. For instance, chapter 4 of the Bhagavad Gita mentions the caste system. A perfunctory glance would have the reader cry out that Krishna has not just created the disparaged caste system of today, but is also supportive of it! However, a deeper contextual study would expound the underlying rationale – which was to bring efficiency to work by categorizing people based on their inherent abilities, traits and inclinations.

Indeed context is imperative in spirituality, as in life. Our ancients called this “desha, kaala, paristhiti”, which translates to Place, Time and Situation. In today’s world, there is only one person who can consistently and logically interpret and apply the thoughts of our wise ancestors. That person is the Guru. As the Guru says, nothing must be applied without common sense. No size fits all, whether in Work, Whatsapp or Worship.

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Inferior Disciple

There is a lovely experience narrated by Swami Rama in his book “Living with the Himalayan Masters“. Here it is, paraphrased below.

Swami Rama’s Guru was a terrific person. Not just in human form, as his powers are described as being almost ethereal. Needless to say, many people would come to his master, requesting for blessings and beseeching him for his grace.

While they would line up to see him, they would also bring with them many things to offer him – gold, valuables, ornaments, fruits, flowers, books and money to name a few.

Swami Rama used to feel small, seeing these presents for his Guru and told him once, “Master, I am unable to provide any of these valuable items to you, does that make me an inferior disciple?”

His Guru shushed him, and told him to give him a bundle of dry twigs. When Swami Rama did, his Guru merely lit a fire, burned the twigs and told him that he had given the best gift of all. He further explained, “Rama, what am I to do with the material possessions all these people have given me? I have no use for them. However, when you gave me your twigs, you gave me everything you had. You gave me your last possessions in this world, and those too have been burned away. You are truly a Swami. What more could I ask for?”

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Pleasantly good

We touched upon the red pill and blue pill in a post titled The Matrix a few weeks ago – link here. This is a concept that has existed for ages in many Indian spiritual texts, notably in the Kathopanishad.

The blue pill denotes that which is pleasant. The red pill denotes that which is good. Is there a difference between pleasant and good? There certainly is.

What is pleasant, is merely a function of what our sense organs perceive. That yummy looking pizza, that smell of freshy baked cream cookies, the sound of a TV advert asking you to spend the next 2 hours on the couch – are all examples of pleasant things. But are these necessarily good as well? Hardly.

In Sanskrit, the pleasant is denoted by the word preyas, while the good is called shreyas. It follows, that many times, to get the good, the path may not be easy or obvious.

Across many parts of the world, as the coronavirus threat seems to be abating somewhat, many people are throwing caution to the wind, and going on holidays and partying with friends (preyas). Needless to say, some of these have resulted in new infections. While 6 or 8 months spent locked down at home has indeed been painful, can we not wait another 2-3 months (shreyas)? Ask anyone who has gone through the ordeal of having to beg for hospital beds for their loved ones, and then maybe we will realize the gravity of the situation.

The Kathopanishad concludes decisively – “The wise one always chooses shreyas.”

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Pulling the punches

Came across the story of a girl called Evie today. At age 11, she was a gymnastics champion. She represented Britain and also participated in the Olympics torch relay in 2012. Sounds nice and dandy?

It was all going well, until one day she fell and dislocated her elbow. While that might seem like a simple enough injury, it led to her being paralyzed for several months. After that, she started suffering from seizures and tics.

Fast forward to today. Her brain is perfectly fine. Her hands and legs are perfectly fine too. But the connection between them? Not so much.

When she’s cooking and using the rolling pin, instead of rolling the dough, she finds her hands suddenly pick the rolling pin and hit her own head. When she’s using her hands for picking something up, she suddenly finds her hands punch her in the face. The impact of these hits is obviously extremely painful. She has a YouTube channel today to raise awareness about her condition, where she describes some of her episodes to be as painful as “a lightning current going through the body”.

While what happened to her is unfortunate and unexpected, what about what is happening to our bodies? We mostly treat it like a dustbin, stuffing in all sorts of garbage and processed food and giving it little to no exercise. We take our bodies for granted, because of how well it has been working thus far and servicing us, day in and day out. What happened to Evie is rare, but that is not reason for us to become complacent and abuse the gift of life that we have each been given. There is no basis for spirituality, goodness, kindness, money, fame, wealth or status if the body is debilitated.

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In and out

Our outside is full of:
– people with opposing views
– fights and clashes
– one upmanship
– selfishness and nepotism
– poverty and inequality

Our inside is full of:
– hopes and fears
– greed and desires
– anxiety and stress
– lack of awareness
– anger and regret

What can we control? The outside, or the inside?

What should we work on improving?

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Rub it in

Contrary to expectations, animals do not always crave food from us, although they would certainly like it if we brought some along!

There’s a kitty in the area where I live. I’d taken some milk with me today when I went down. The cat was half asleep as most cats always are (apparently some sleep up to 18 hours a day!).

He didn’t seem to care that I’d got him some food. He looked up for a bit, then yawned and stretched and went back to sleep. I tried making some sounds, some hand claps, some fake (and ridiculous sounding) “meow”s. Nothing. No interest at all today.

What he does love though, is for me to sit on the parapet, and then to perch himself on my leg so that he can enjoy a good long neck rub. And because a picture is a worth a 1000 words, the image up top is him caught in the act 🙂

The moment I sat down today, his ears perked up, his head turned in my direction, he did a super quick stretch, and he was next to me in under three seconds. I wonder where his sleep vanished!

People are no different. We try to impress others with our money, our possessions, our skills, our diction, our knowledge, our credentials and many many other things. But the only thing we need, to truly win them over, is our love and affection. If we treat others with love, then it doesn’t matter if we are poor or dumb – people will flock to us.

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Brain drain

There was a girl whose name doesn’t matter
Her life was not handed on a platter
No this is not a love story
But one of hope, dedication and glory

She does Uber Eats home delivery
But was herself delivered with cerebral palsy
26 years old and 10 extra courses after college
Still got her no job, despite all her knowledge

She delivers everything on a wheelchair
Of course she isn’t speedy, now is that fair?
90% of her orders are rejected due to inaccessibility
Tough life, but she always smiles like she’s silly

And us? Oh we worry and stress about some triviality
Without smiling or accepting our reality
Damn them little problems we have in life
What with a perfect body and a brain sharp as a knife

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A place for everything – part 2

Continuing yesterday’s post, as a few more examples come to mind.

The rich kid may own the fanciest car in town, but when it breaks down in the middle of nowhere, only the mechanic can fix it. And even then, only if he’s got the right tools.

The house may be the most beautiful, but when the pipes leak, only a plumber can save the day.

Speaking of saving, nurses are amongst the most underpaid workers, compared to the relevance of their contributions in saving lives. Whether celebrity or politician, when sick, only a nurse will wipe that drool, clean that dressing and administer those injections.

We all expect shopping packages via ’24-hour delivery’. They are made possible only by truckers who drive long distances for many hours, leaving their families and homes for days on end. But who cares about truck drivers right?

Many teachers can educate us about the ways of the world. But only a Guru can dispel the darkness of ignorance.

Undoubtedly, there is a place for everyone and everything. We are all good-for-something, even though others might think we are good-for-nothing.

No one is self sufficient, although a few who have their heads in the clouds may think so about themselves. It is better to remain on earth and adored, than in the sky and detested.

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A place for everything

The CEO is the best person in the organization to deliver a presentation to the Board. But his analyst is the only one who can check the numbers and create his slides for him. And the peon in the Board room? He is the only one who can make tea / coffee to suit the taste of each Board member!

As the saying goes, the razor blade is sharp but it cannot cut a tree. The axe is strong but is not suitable for a haircut.

Hair is great on a person’s head. But it is absolutely ghastly on someone’s plate.

The fastest super sonic jet in the world can take you to your destination before time, but it cannot take you back in time.

Money can buy cars, palaces and even people. But it cannot buy immortality or true love.

Everyone and everything has its place in the world. Including us.

Nobody is useless at everything. And nobody is perfect in everything. We are all dancing in the middle.

If we want to improve ourselves, we can choose to sharpen and use our weapons well – our will power, courage, hard work, humility and self-confidence, to name a few. All of these weapons are within us, available for free, and waiting to be unleashed.

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Can I lead?

When we look at the leader of any nation – be it the President, Prime Minister or King – we expect a few traits:
– Humility and acceptance of the circumstances
– Only meritocracy, no favouritism
– Limited personal wealth, no aggrandizement
– Sole interest is the welfare of the country and its citizens

There are maybe just one or two leaders anywhere in the world today, who have these traits. And they are the ones we look up to.

Notice these are traits of leadership, not of specific people. What is the most important requirement for leadership? The key condition, is to have followers, otherwise who are we leading? 🙂

Irrespective of who we are or what we may or may not have achieved, we are all leaders, as we all have our followers. Our children look up to us, our parents look up to us, our partners look up to us, our friends look up to us, or our colleagues and direct reports look up to us. The list likely goes on and on.

What kind of leadership traits are we demonstrating to all these people around us? Do we deserve their acceptance?

An honest assessment is essential, along with corrective measures if and where applicable.

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W-L-B

There have been many discussions in recent years on the need to reduce working hours. France at one point even adopted a 4 day week. Almost too good to be true, considering many companies still work 6 days a week (work-life-balance, where art thou?).

But if there was a job that only required you to work 12 minutes a day, would you take it? No this is not a trick question. The name of the role, is Medical Representative, or MR for short. It’s similar to the one Will Smith portrays in the amazing movie The Pursuit of Happyness. The MR’s role is to pitch medical products, typically new medicines, or sometimes medical devices – to doctors, so that they may start prescribing them to all their patients.

Here’s how an MR’s day tends to look like:
– The day starts at 8 am if not earlier.
– S/he must be at the office of the first doctor on time.
– Typical wait times in between patients and other competing MRs tend to be around 1 hour.
– Every 1 hour, the MR gets exactly 1 minute of the doctor’s time to pitch their product.
– If the doctor is busy, or preoccupied, too bad.
– And then it is on to the next doctor, who might be far away, so public transport, the commute, rush etc.
– The day should end at 8 pm, but often extends longer.
– Sometimes the shift can be 8 pm to 8 am as well.
– 12 hours on the job, and 1 minute with 12 doctors each equals ‘only’ 12 minutes of work every day.

This is not a bad job, but certainly a tough one. There are many worse jobs out there as well. When we get frustrated about our own work sometimes, it helps to know that things could be much worse. Using that knowledge, we can strive to do our current jobs with a better frame of mind, while also enthusiastically looking for the next big break!

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Scaling up

A few sample expectations we have from others:
Perfection from spouse; quick and effusive approbation from employer; concurrence with our views; trusting us unconditionally; be non-judgemental towards us; respect us.

A few sample duties we typically (must) perform:
Daily chores at home; doing our jobs well; parenting; teaching; donating to society; working hard (office and otherwise) not wasting a single moment; progressing mindfully on the spiritual path.

Here below, on a scale of 0 to 100, with 100 being the best:

What an ideal world looks like according to us:
Have expectations worth 100
Do our duties worth 0

What the wise tell us:
Have expectations worth 0
Do our duties worth 100

Where would we rank ourselves on this scale? Where would we want to be?

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Warming up

My brother and I had visited Georgia in December last year. This is the country Georgia, not the state Georgia in the US. It is an extremely beautiful country, and during the December winter, some of the places we visited were mostly white, covered in snow. But apparently not as white as it needed to be. We stayed a few nights in a town called Stepantsminda. During that time of the year, the town is supposed to be teeming with people who come for skiing. When we arrived there, it felt more like a ghost town. During a specific hiking trip in the snow that travellers had raved about on online forums, we saw no other people for miles and miles as far as the eye could see. Lots of businesses there had shut shop – because of no visitors – because of not enough snow.

Later, we learned this was on account of global warming and climate change. The winter was quite cold as far as we visitors from the tropics were concerned, but apparently nowhere near necessary for ski resorts to function.

The world is heating up. The ice is melting, and water levels are rising. All those articles and videos we read/see are true. In the last Ice Age, when global temperatures were 4 to 7 degrees cooler than today, the city of Chicago was under 800 meters of ice (like an ice mountain)! We are now racing in the opposite direction – on track to become 3 to 4 degrees warmer than baseline, and already about 1 degree hotter than what is ideal. Every half-a-degree increment from now on could have a devastating impact.

What can we do? We can start small. Each of our actions can be guided by the thought “Do I really need this, or is this just a temporary want? Can I achieve this outcome in a better more sustainable way?” The extra minutes under the shower, the ACs, fans and lights running when not necessary, using too much plastic, driving solo instead of biking/walking/car-pooling among other things all add up. It has to be an individual effort from each one of us, but exercised collectively. The earth is not just a planet, it is our mother that gives us our life. We have only taken, taken and taken more from her since our birth – whether food, or water or oxygen. How can we ever give back to her? And will any amount of giving back ever suffice? Never, and what is done is done, but we can at least reduce the intensity of our taking in the future. Just being mindful of our daily activities is a good starting point.

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Weekend choices

Ask an average 55 year old to choose between going to a pub this weekend and going to a satsang (the company of spiritual people), the answer will almost always be the former. A few clever fellows might even suggest having a satsang at the pub – because you know, two birds with one stone.

Give an average 25 year old the same choices. The pick is no different. No one is going to choose satsang, because its ‘not cool’, ya dig?

This is a big problem for spiritual organisations targeting the youth, everywhere! Attendance always drops, because youngsters have other work to do, family callings, alumni reunion, house chores, rest day, sports events – you name your excuse, and it’ll be here. Interestingly, the outcome is often unchanged, whether at age 25, 55 or even beyond. There are two main reasons that come to mind:

1. Lack of awareness: Most people do not understand spirituality well enough – and think it is religion related. And secularism being in vogue, they stay away. Even though this is mostly all about improving one’s mental makeup to face life.

2. Lack of interest: We only like things that we feel are applicable to us. A 25 year old male would love to talk sports but not cosmetics, while a 25 year old female might go on a lipstick shopping spree for 3 hours. Spirituality on the other hand, is uninteresting, and appears irrelevant. Why? Because young people get happy quickly – a new job, a new bike, a new place to stay, a little money earned on the side, a relationship etc.

This is all great. But because life is cyclical, a day will come, when these same possessions will also cause depression, insecurity and anxiety. Today’s point number 2 above will on that day be exacerbated by point number 1. This is why even those who seemingly have everything, have everything but happiness. Let us plan our weekends wisely. No need to stop anything else. But we can add a little satsang, and that is good enough.

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Kit for Kat

Have you ever had Bakeable custard, Chocobanana, Edamame, Cherry, Ginger Ale, Lemon cheesecake, Rocksalt or Royal Milk Tea? Okay yes maybe. But have you had these on twin chocolate bars?

Surely most of us are familiar with the ubiquitous KitKat chocolate bars from Nestle. Whether they are normal chocolate bars or white chocolate bars, they are too tasty to stop with just one. But did you know that there are over 300 flavors of KitKat, including the ones mentioned above? Why have we not seen them around us you say? Because most of these are available only in Japan!

The parent company Nestlé, is known for its coffee rather than its chocolates. Its brands including Nescafe and Nespresso occupy kitchen shelves across the world. But coffee was not a big thing in Japan. In fact Japanese culture always preferred tea. So how would Nestlé introduce coffee? By targeting the right audience of course! In the 1970s, Nestlé began by introducing coffee flavors in candy for children, so that later in life these kids would grow to have a positive affinity to the idea of coffee. In 1970, coffee sales in Japan were almost zero; but today, nearly 50 years later, Japan is the world’s third largest importer of coffee. And it is only in recent years that the KitKat varieties in Japan have exploded. The name KitKat is apparently similar to a Japanese expression “kitto katsu” meaning “Victory will be yours” and is used by students to wish each other luck before their exams. So the good foundations were laid several years in advance of a favourable outcome!

It is said that there are 4 critical components for realising spiritual progress. The first three are 1. A Guru. 2. Scriptures. and 3. Satsang (the company of the wise). Many of us are blessed with these three. But a few meditation sessions plus some satsangs plus some seva for the Guru later, we are already impatient for results. The fourth and most critical component though, is Time. Because spiritual progress too, like all good things, cannot happen without without efforts consistently practised over the years. Just ask someone who has eaten many KitKats over the years, and is trying to lose the extra pounds 🙂

And if you want to get the whole list of KitKat flavors, please hit the thumbs-up button below, and then click here highly recommended!

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Expect the expected

We all know that happiness can come right here right now. We’ve discussed it here on ForeverHappyNow many times already. That is because happiness is nothing more than a choice, and a state of mind. But we still hand over the control aka the choice to the monkey-mind!

There is a huge chasm that exists between our current life and the life that we believe we deserve. The operating word being ‘deserve’. Do you believe you deserve a better pay or a better bonus? Of course! A better relationship? A better house? A better car? A better friends’ circle? The answer is always yes. The image we have of ourselves is often of do-gooders who are somehow waylaid by life, unable perhaps to get to that level of greatness we each think we are so capable of.

And we certainly may be capable of greatness – no denying that. But when we envision ourselves as great people, we also begin to believe that we deserve more than we already have. This comes in the way of happiness because being great is not necessarily the same as being happy. This leads to higher expectations, anxiety and dissatisfaction.

Setting the ‘expectations’ bar very low helps. The great late-physicist Stephen Hawking, famous for books such as A Brief History of Time and The Theory of Everything, was diagnosed with motor-neuron disease. He was paralysed and unable to talk from the young age of 21. His doctors gave him only a few years to live, but as those who have seen his videos and interviews (he could speak only through a computer) know, he was also a witty and humorous person, and lived till the age of 76. An interviewer once asked him, “Are you always this cheerful?”. Mr. Hawking replied, “My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus!”

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Pay it b/f?

We are all familiar with people who ask too many questions. Whether the school nerd or the nosy (and noisy!) neighbour, there is only so much we can put up with. But this post is not about them. This post is about many righteous good people who ask too less. Not just ask questions, but ask for help in general. Because many times, asking for help is seen as a sign of weakness. The misconception backing this thought is, “I want to be seen/known as a self-made individual.”

But we have got to where we are today, both collectively and individually, only by standing on the shoulders of giants of yore. There are phones with 12 GB RAM today, while entire computers from 3 decades ago barely had 12 MB! We would not have flat screen TVs, if someone hadn’t invented a black & white TV in the first place. The very phrase ‘let’s not reinvent the wheel’ presupposes efforts already put in by several others in the past, using which alone, we are here today.

What often stops the aforementioned righteous folks, is their perceived inability to pay back. The fact of the matter is, we will always be indebted to countless others for many things – at work or otherwise. Our parents for bringing us up, our teachers (and specifically the Guru) for imparting their knowledge, our employers and bosses for recognising our potential and enabling us to grow and likewise for friends, family and others. Therefore, it is impossible to pay everyone back. What we can do, and must do though, is to pay forward. Realising how much we have got, we can try to spread the joy, maybe put in a good word for a colleague, offer counselling / mentoring for students from our alma maters, provide books to the local libraries for free, impart our talents / skills to those around us, among other things.

Once we realise that paying forward is just as good as or better than paying back – we will try to gain the most from others, for selfless purposes, and then selflessly distribute forward. Important to remember, that when we pay forward, we too must expect nothing in return, exactly as those who did for us and brought us to this point.

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Arguing for change

Every realised spiritual master has said that intellectual scriptural knowledge is at best a stepping stone. Therefore there is no scope for feelings of accomplishment or pride, after reading many spiritual books or writing a blog about it. This is because reading/writing/speaking and actually transforming oneself are two very different things. We know from experience that implementing change in our lives is next to impossible, unless life itself forces such a change upon us. Paradoxically, the best of change comes in the worst of times.

Intellectually, we know now we are not the body, but the soul. But is that how we experience our lives daily? There is still plenty of me, my and I. So of what use would this knowledge be? All is not in vain. Objective valuation (which we touched upon here) will help us see the world as it is – filled with pairs of opposites like pain/pleasure, day/night, good/bad etc. And that it is ephemeral and largely inexplicable.

More importantly, the biggest leaps in spiritual (and material) growth occur when we accept and focus on changing ourselves instead of the people around us. It is impossible to get along with everyone for everything, because everyone is entitled to their own views. It’s not just the varying views of others, but we ourselves may hold differing beliefs and perspectives at different points of time in our lives. The questions we can ask ourselves in times of conflict is, “Does this really matter to me? What will change if the sofa is placed there than here? What will change if the car color is white than black? What will change if I agree to do it my boss’ way rather than mine? What will change if we go for dinner where my spouse wants to go rather than where I want to go?” Hopefully, the answer will be ‘no’ or ‘nothing’.

One can argue that being docile all the time will only lead people to take us for granted, and that is absolutely true. But we must pick the battles we fight, without losing (sight of) the war. In most cases, keeping the relationship, the job and the peace of mind is infinitely more important and beneficial than losing the TV channel, working an occasional weekend and constantly trying to prove a point.

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Connecting…

So my phone’s Bluetooth decided to bail on me. My job requires me to attend a lot of (way too many actually!) office calls and so Bluetooth earphones are important. I had no choice but to look for another phone. With a budget (literally!) in mind, I hit up Amazon. Only to realise that shopping for a phone is a very very hard thing for a someone dabbling in spirituality! Sense control? Desire control? Expectation control? Not here, my friend. One look at the options available, and anyone can develop instant vertigo.

6GB/8GB/12GB RAM? 64GB/128GB/256GB capacity? Snapdragon 730, 720, 645, 885, Helios, Exynos something GPU something Octa hexa deca core? Supercooled, ultracooled, vaporcooled, hypercooled? 5MP, 2MP, 32MP, 64MP, 108MP front/back/side/up/down f/1/2/3/4/5 aperture cameras? 4G, 4G+, 5G, LTE, LTE-a? Fingerprint scanner under the glass or at the back or on the side power button? AMOLED, superAMOLED, infinity, retina, LED, LCD, 120 Hz, refresh rate something something this that this that this that.

And these are only the main features. Go one technical layer further, and it is like going down a rabbit hole. Every day, a new phone is launched. Every, single, day! And there are special lightning deals and sales. Also no phone will ever have all the features you need. And if it does somehow magically have 8 out of the 10 features you want, the price will exceed your budget. And when you decide to up your budget just a little more, you’ll come across a whole new range of options and specifications at that new price point. And then there’s the alphanumeric soup a21 b22 m51 c71 o2 f17 r2 g2 6t 8t i11 s7. Did I leave out the pluses, pros, notes and ultras? Phew, I need to find a seat!

Even the greatest of spiritual aspirants can be sucked into this world of dazzling tech. All for what? Just the simple ability to speak to a fellow human. Can’t help but see the similarities to life. All we need is to be peaceful and happy. For which we need a handful of food thrice a day, and a roof over our heads. But we’ve complicated life so much for ourselves, that no matter the plethora of options, we are always left wanting more. No situation will ever be perfect. If it appears so, then it probably requires a compromise at some other level, not unlike a better phone that exceeds our budget. The best way is to enjoy whatever we’ve got, phone or otherwise. The true happiness lies within, to connect to which, no phone will work, and ironically no phone is required.

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Reaching out

How many people, from anywhere in the world, are thinking about you this very moment? Chances are, that if you are not a celebrity, then probably no one is. Or maybe one or two of your closest loved ones might be. But that too, just for a few seconds. And no one can be blamed for this apparent lack of caring either. Because lets face it, everyone is busy.

But imagine, if out of this planet of ~8 billion people, at least a few of them had us at the top of their minds. Not for anything selfish, not because they wanted something from us, but just like that, because they really cared. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

Sure would. Sadly, there is no foolproof way to make others think of us. But there is one way to at least increase our odds. It is through the power of reaching out. Ever seen a dog wag its tail when his owner comes home after a long day’s work? The dog can barely contain its excitement. People love dogs chiefly because of this outstanding greeting as soon as they get back home. There are literally thousands if not millions of YouTube videos capturing exactly this moment! It can take away the troubles of an entire day. The dog cares for nothing else, except to see his owner. No ulterior motive. Just his need to make his owner feel special.

If you are at someone’s house for dinner, and go the extra mile to put your plates in the sink, or clean the table after the meal, it shows that you care. If you send a book to someone, or flowers or sweets or cook a meal, that can say a lot too. Even just jumping out of your seat to help – maybe to make tea, or pick up a towel from the floor, are small actions that can go a long way in showing those around you that you care. I was once in the audience where the speaker started coughing a bit. And then he continued to speak, and then coughed a little more. And then spoke more. Just the usual coughs, nothing out of the ordinary, and everyone continued to focus on the speaker and his presentation. But one person to my right got up and left the room. He was back 2 minutes later. Where had he gone? He had gone to get hot water for the speaker! Now that is a brilliant example of reaching out! If we truly ‘reach out’ to others, with no malice and no selfishness, their hearts will be warmed, and they will remember us forever. The secret is not in living, but in living for others.

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Discrimination is good!

If someone shows off their shiny new US$ 1.2 million Ferrari, contrary to perception, it tells us nothing about that person’s real wealth. What it surely tell us though, is that today that person has US$ 1.2 million less in their bank account!

Why does that matter? Because we think wealth is a sign of success. It might be, but success is not happiness. According to the very interesting book ‘The Budget Deficitby Stephanie Kelton, 40% of Americans can’t pony up even just US$ 400 if faced with an emergency situation – which is just unfortunate and sad. If this is the case for America, what about the developing world?

Okay, let us assume there is enough money for survival. But using that money well? That’s a different story! There are phones in the market today that cost US$ 2000! For just a phone. That number is the same as the annual per capita income of many countries. Unbelievable isn’t it? What would the value of the same US$ 2000 phone be 3 years from now? Most of the features would be totally outdated. Except calling – which is the real reason for buying a phone in the first place. Of course, duh, no one buys a phone for calling anymore. Cameras, gaming, computing power and myriad other reasons exist. Fair enough. But why are people falling over each other (and racking up credit card debt too) to buy 5G phones, when 5G networks aren’t even ready yet where they live?

There is a sanskrit word called vairagyam. It loosely translates to dispassion, detachment, or renunciation. As human beings, we have the ability, no, in fact the power, to discriminate. But we waste it in discriminating against our fellow humans. What if, we could instead discriminate among the things that are worth doing, worth knowing and worth gaining? Choosing experiences over objects. Choosing real relationships over phones. This is the true vairagyam! It is not about renouncing everything. Rather it is about ensuring that no matter what mobile phone we have or do not, or what car we drive or do not, internally we remain at peace.

And here is where ‘valuation’ – primarily a concept in finance and investing – can be applied in real life. If we learn to look objectively at everything around us in the world, and identify whether these really give us lasting happiness, we will not despise anything, but rather value those things. Do we really need that car? Or do we need it only to show off to our neighbours? Honest valuation will bring clarity, which will help us discriminate the necessary from the wasteful.

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Why a live Guru is paramount

People often ask, “Is it not enough to read scriptures and get knowledge from them? I read for many hours a day. Why do I need a living Guru?”

A man who had never seen a cow before or drank milk, heard about cows from his master. “White color with brown patches, relaxed animal, four udders for milk, two tiny horns, two flappy ears, a bushy tail and a cow gives white liquid called milk.” Armed with this information, he set out to find this interesting animal, and came upon the statue of a cow. Nearby, some painters were whitewashing the barn. The man put two and two together, and drank up the white colored paint thinking it was milk. To say his stomach went for a toss would be an understatement. When he accosted his master angrily, the master coolly replied “If you had milked the cow yourself, you would have had no trouble!”

Thus there is no substitute to being mentored by someone who has had direct first-hand experience of the Divine.

Further, it is important to be in the physical vicinity of such a Guru. Having a ‘paper guru’, or one who is on the altar in a paper photograph alone, is of limited use. Why? Because knowing our monkey-minds, we might continue to commit all sorts of blunders, and will fool ourselves that everything we are doing is perfectly alright. Having a live guru may not always be pleasant – but only when he points out our mistakes and corrects us, would we be able to get rid of our ego. And as we are well aware, giving up the ego is the most important requirement for spiritual perfection.

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Game of chairs

Intern
Analyst
Senior Analyst
Associate
Senior Associate
Assistant Vice President
Vice President
Senior Vice President
Executive Vice President
Chief Executive Officer
Managing Director
Chairman

It might take a good 40 years of one’s career to go from intern to chairman. No mean feat, by any stretch of the imagination. 40 years of pure hard work, blood, sweat, tears and then some. Not to forget, all the missed parent teacher meetings, kids parties, family outings, social gatherings etc etc etc.

All is well. As long as one remembers, the status and respect come with the chair – the seat – the title. Even just one day after retiring as Chairman, no one will look at you. No interviews, no papers to sign, no meetings to attend, no fancy office cars, or secretaries to manage your calendar. Same thing for any other role. Retiring as President of the USA? A new person has already replaced you. Ok bye-bye! Such is life.

As we live our hectic lives, it would be great to deeply acknowledge and understand this game of chairs. One legacy we can leave behind is the work we do, not the titles we hold. The best legacy to leave behind though, is to leave people feeling happy. For which ironically, no chair is required!

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Our actions – part 2 of 2

Yesterday we explored principle 1 of karma yoga – which is to renounce the fruits of our actions. Employing this principle reduces anxiety and increases efficiency – without physically giving anything up.

Principle 2 refers to giving up doer-ship. What does this mean?

It is said that each of our actions accrues karma. Somewhat like Newton’s 3rd law of action-reaction, but applicable everywhere, not just to motion. Do good, and good will come to you. Ditto for bad. The good and bad we are experiencing today is the result of our past actions – this birth and many countless other reincarnations till now. The life and world we are living in now is considered ‘bonded’ – as we continuously go through ups and downs. Can we get out of this cycle once and for all?

Absolutely, and that is what principle 2 is about. On the face of it though, giving up ‘doer-ship’ seems impossible. Because if I am working in office, then I am the doer (employee). If I’m driving then I’m the doer (driver). If I’m eating, then I’m the doer (eater). How can I give this up? If I somehow give this up, then would I not be the doer anymore?

Great questions – and karma yoga never says anything about giving up the actions themselves. Only giving up doer-ship of the actions, which means parting with the mental notion “Hey, it’s me. “I” am the great (wo)man that did this. And also that and that and that!” When we identify with ‘doing’ things, we accrue karma, which means we continue to be bound to this cycle of re-births. Why? Because our actions spring forth from desires (“I want a promotion”), and this leads to attachment. And herein lies a clue!

To give up doer-ship, we must give up our selfish desires, and instead focus on the ‘greater good’ and ‘welfare for all’. For instance, when we work in the service of others, especially under the guidance of a Guru, there is no question of doer-ship, as we are not doing anything for ourselves, and it is all only the Guru’s vision manifesting itself. When viewed objectively, we will realise that we are all part of a grand plan, and that by ourselves, we really cannot do much at all. Even the energy required to write/read this blog post is not coming from us – but rather borrowed from food/nature. So we are already not the ‘true doers’, but our egos make us think we are infinitely more significant than we actually are.

Note again, that this orientation is more mental than physical. So do not fill your upcoming self-evaluation form at work as “I am not the doer, and therefore do not need a promotion.” Common sense must prevail!

When both karma yoga principles are applied together, and consistently in everything we do, we will find that work truly becomes play.

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Our actions – part 1 of 2

In the quest for moksha or liberation, one can take many paths. The path of knowledge, the path of devotion, the path of meditation etc. are some of the ways to the same goal. The easiest and most identifiable path in this day and age though, is supposed to be the path of action, also known as karma yoga.

There are 2 very specific principles of karma yoga, and these often cause much confusion in their applicability.
1. We must give up the fruits of our actions.
2. We must give up the doer-ship of our actions.

What does this even mean? We will explore the first principle now, and the next one in tomorrow’s follow up post.

Let us say we have a bright chance of getting promoted at work. This entails putting in our best work for the next 6 months. How much of our time over the next 6 months goes in actually working, versus in worrying about the result? It is likely that many of us dissipate a lot of our energies stressing about that which is not in our control. We cannot control the promotion cycle or evaluation cycle or the management team that has to vote on the promotions or the macro environment or the overall profit / loss of the company or the number of other candidates that deserve promotions or even whether your recommending officer (i.e. your boss) would still be with the firm! There is only thing we can control however, and this is the quality of our own work.

The first principle of karma yoga drives home precisely this point. Irrespective of what you are doing (studying, giving an exam, working, driving, eating, anything!), focus on doing your best, and forget about the end result. This forgetting about the end result, is called giving up the fruits of our actions. The less the worry, the more the enjoyment of the work at hand, and thereby better the quality of output.

Last but not the least, giving up the result does not mean we say ‘No’ to a promotion if we get it, as that would only be foolish! But we do not need to be mentally ‘bound’ to the promotion either, especially while doing the work. If the promotion does not come through, we can either try for one next time, or look for another role. Part 2 tomorrow!

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Twitterati

A celebrity passed away in a hospital recently. It was a government hospital, not a private one. He was shifted from one to the other, as he did not have money to pay for his treatment at the more expensive one. Nobody stepped forward to help him at the time.

However, soon after his demise, many of his peers took to Twitter to announce their ‘grief and shock’, and some have said they would “take care of his family”, “educate his kids” and what not.

Some might ask, “Where were these people 15 days ago?”

Don’t worry, this is not a long rant on social media. This is life. So what can we take away from this?

  1. Nobody cares. Or at least most people don’t. Or maybe they do, but they are just so caught up in their own mess that they rarely help sort out other people’s problems. It doesn’t make them bad people. Maybe. So instead of being upset, we can take it in our stride. Not for anyone else, but for our own peace of mind.
  2. No matter how much you may help others in this life, you may still leave here in unexpected, and unenviable ways.
  3. Money and fame – that which we covet the most today, could be gone tomorrow.
  4. Health is the real wealth. But hardly anyone wants to be rich in health. But we can buck that. And we can start right now.
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How to sleep like a baby

Here’s an amazing sleep trick we can all practise daily. Only 2 steps to it:

Step 1: When you hit the bed and are about to sleep, recall 2 or 3 things that happened in your day, that you are grateful for. It could be about some of your favourite food you ate, a friend who helped you, the affection your pet showered you with, the fact that you are alive, the fact that you have a home and a bed to sleep on, and / or any other thing.

Step 2: Feel light. Forget all the problems that that you need to deal with tomorrow and day after and thereafter. All those will take care of themselves in time. Just relax in the moment. Keep repeating to yourself that everything is fine. “As of this second, everything is fine. When I sleep, I am leaving behind all my problems.” Smile, and feel happy.

Very very simple things to try, and each one of us can do it, without exception.

Try it out, and see the difference in the quality of sleep!

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Waking up

Here is a story, which needs an answer from each one of us, so please pay attention.

There are 2 beggars Ram and Shyam sleeping on the road. Shyam starts dreaming. He dreams about him becoming a big businessman, and then amassing a lot of wealth. One day, a band of robbers accosts him, and take away all his wealth. He starts to chase them, and scream out loudly to everyone around to help him. “Help! These robbers are taking away all my wealth. Help! Chase them. Help!”

The dream appears so vivid and so real to Shyam, that he starts screaming in his sleep, “Help me! Chase the robbers. Help me! Catch the robbers!

Ram, who is sleeping next to Shyam, wakes up at the commotion, and realises that his friend Shyam is shouting because of the events in his dream.

The question now to us is, what should Ram do? Should he get up from bed and chase the robbers that Shyam is screaming about? Or should he wake Shyam up and tell him he was just having a bad dream?

No doubt you will agree it must be the latter!

This is exactly what our Guru tells us as well. We are all asleep, and dreaming about more and more materialistic body-driven pursuits. The Guru is trying to awaken us to a reality that is infinitely and permanently blissful. But we prefer to stay dreaming. Do our actions make sense? We must ask ourselves.

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The Matrix

Our scriptures say that all of creation is an illusion. That it is unreal, fleeting and impermanent. As human beings, it must be our one-pointed goal, that we come out of this delusional existence. But this cannot be done alone. We need the guidance of a Guru.

A guru is not a mere teacher. He doesn’t simply help transfer worldly skills, although he may very well impart those too.

The defining characteristic of a Guru is that he is the only one who can dispel the darkness of ignorance.

Ignorance of what? That we are the body, mind and intellect, when actually we are not.

All of this can seem daunting at first. Somewhat like how Neo (played wonderfully by Keanu Reeves) felt, when he was first accosted by Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne, brilliant!) in cult favourite The Matrix.

But once Neo chose the red pill (unpleasant truth) over the blue, he realised his true nature and purpose.

The choice was his to make, just as it is ours to make. We are all cooped up inside a Matrix world of sorts, ignorant of what the greatest minds ever, have instructed us.

In our case, we think we are all enjoying the blue pill already. But think of all the problems we go through in life, and then have a rethink. Are we really enjoying?

Maybe the red pill is the real blue pill. Time to follow the Guru’s advice.

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Living in uncertainty

Spirituality is often misunderstood. It is neither about spirits nor about rituals. Rather, it is simply about accepting life as it comes, without being affected by it. While reading about this on a blog might make it seem all too easy, implementing this is the hardest thing in the world.

Imagine you are in the midst of a lecture, addressing a group of students. Suddenly you get a call, and are informed that a loved one has just passed away. What would your state of mind be? Would the whole world just come crashing down in an instant? Yes, highly likely. But not for my Guru – who just continued his lecture as though nothing had happened. This is not to say he has no feelings. Far from it, because he is the most empathetic human being I have ever come across. He used to whimsically take his car out on extremely hot days, so that he could pick labourers up, give them a bottle of water to quench their parched throats, and drop them where they wanted to go. These labourers would otherwise spend hours walking under the scorching sun, almost having their skins peeled off. But my Guru is able to beautifully practise what he preaches – that there is an innate futility of linking ourselves to our material body and possessions.

Living in uncertainty alone is spirituality, as he says. And this is not only in the case of bad news. For good news too, practising restraint is extremely difficult. Imagine someone comes up and says you got a special out-of-turn promotion and bonus that you never saw coming. We quickly take credit for the entire success, and sometimes go so far as to think, “Good, but this itself was a bit late – it should have come last year itself.” Such thoughts never keep us grounded, and our own ego gets in the way of progress. For the good events in life, my Guru credits 100% of the results to God / super-consciousness / Nature / Creation. This too is not because he doesn’t enjoy the moment. Far from it. He revels in every moment – even just while breathing the air around him. However, he realises that revelling too much can only bring attachment, desire and downfall therefrom.

Many seekers nowadays take to spirituality hoping that its various practises will bring them success. In reality, spirituality may not bring success. But it surely prepares the seeker to handle success. And also failure.

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Branching out

A man paid a princely sum to buy two falcons. These were special falcons, that could fly higher and faster than any other. When he took them back to his mansion and let them loose, one flew high and fast. The other just went and perched itself onto a nearby tree.

The man tried shooing the sitting bird, shouting at it and prancing around but to no avail. The falcon just wouldn’t fly. He called the seller angrily and asked for half his money back, as only one falcon had taken to the air. The seller calmly said “Tomorrow, I will fix the problem.”

The next day, when the man woke up and came out of his house, he saw both falcons flying high and fast. He was ecstatic, but also puzzled. He immediately called the seller, and asked “How did you make the falcon fly?”. The seller replied, “It was easy, I just cut off the branch on which the bird was sitting.”

A look back at each of our lives would suggest the same thing. Maximum growth has always happened when our backs were to the wall, when the chips were down, and when the branch underneath us was ripped away.

Applied differently, Chapter 15 of the Bhagavad Gita (the best and most practical version here for free!) likens the whole world around us to be an inverted tree. We are at the fringes of the branches, having forgotten the roots where we came from. The tree (creation) is impossible to understand, even though we spend a lot of time trying to. The only way out of this tumultuous inexplicable experience of life is to cut the branches (our attachments, desires, ego) and return to the Source.

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Time travel

Since time immemorial, (wo)man has always enquired about two things.
1. The past, before this life
2. The future, in this same life

Both of these questions can be answered to a good extent, by a good astrologer, assuming accurate birth data are available. Astrology can indeed be useful to help prepare the mind for what is to come – both good and bad.

However, time travelling through astrology can often lead us to not revel in the current moment. Why?

Let us say we need to present a very important deliverable at work. It will take 1 week of intense preparation, and we are absolutely enthused about it, given this could be a career-defining moment. However, if we knew in advance, that the presentation would not be well received, or that a colleague would outdo us, or the manager would change, or the client would not go ahead with the suggestion, it is highly likely we will not put adequate effort into making the presentation in the first place. If we knew in advance that a relationship would not last, we would not get into it in the first place. If an entrepreneur knew their company was going to shut down after 2 years, they would never ‘start-up’ to begin with.

And therein lies the problem. We are conditioned to believe that success is the endgame. But it is not. Learning or growth is the real endgame. And all the actions that bestow so-called ‘failure’ are what toughens us up for the future.

Likewise for the past. What are we going to do by knowing we were a king or a great sage or Krishna’s consort in an earlier life? Spirituality teaches us to eschew all identification with our body/mind/intellect. Liberation comes from renunciation. Why add additional layers from past lives?

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Focus Pocus

In the age of news shorts, 10 second video clips, vanishing snap-chats, 20 minute food deliveries and 45 second blog posts (does the last one seem familiar? 🙂 ), it is no surprise that our collective patience levels have dropped considerably.

With such limited patience, it is hard to stay focused. Jack Ma of Alibaba fame gives the example of a task that requires catching 1 out of 9 rabbits in a room. Easier said than done, as the furry fellows scramble like mad across the room. The difficulty arises because the catcher keeps shifting focus from one rabbit to the next depending on how close the rabbit is. If one jumps away, the catcher locks in to the next, and then the next, eventually ending up with none.

Our daily lives too tempt us with multiple opportunities. This work, that work, this book, that book, this song, that song, this class, that class, this movie, that movie, learning this, learning that, this restaurant, that restaurant. Oh so many options!

It would help to lock targets on one rabbit, on one task, and expend energies on that goal, for that period of time. Multi-tasking is good, but 60 minutes dedicated to one task followed by 60 minutes to another is always better than 60 minutes of attention simultaneously allocated to ten tasks (rabbits).

Interestingly, we never lose focus when watching Netflix or our favourite sports games, do we? Nothing wrong in taking some time off to enjoy these at all. But also good to remember, that in a way, we are paying to watch these people do their jobs. How many people are paying to watch us do ours? The stars and celebrities got to where they are by focusing on their lives and building their skills. We should do the same, till we get a paying audience.

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What matters

Doesn’t Matter: The amount of money in the bank account.
Matters: The amount of compassion and empathy for others.

Doesn’t Matter: The size of the house.
Matters: The size of the heart.

Doesn’t Matter: The number of likes on social media.
Matters: The number of true friends.

Doesn’t Matter: The number of books one has read.
Matters: The wisdom one has applied in their lives.

Doesn’t Matter: The number of degrees one has.
Matters: The number of people one has impacted positively.

Doesn’t Matter: The status / title one enjoys.
Matters: The work one does for others irrespective of the title.

Doesn’t Matter: The accent / fluency in a language.
Matters: The sweetness of the thoughts behind the words.

Doesn’t Matter: The renunciation of all material possessions.
Matters: The renunciation of all material possessions by the mind.

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2-in-1

About half of our working lives is spent at/for work. If you are in Asia, then the hours are probably more. And if in Europe, then probably less.

But work can be challenging for anyone. Those with long hours may be enjoying their work. While for some, even with a 4 day week, a bad boss can make it feel like a 7 day ordeal.

What to do, when those Monday morning blues are terrible? And we absolutely hate going to work?

There are only 2 things to be done:

1. Find a way to enjoy our work. Of course this is very hard. But not enjoying our work will only make things worse. So how do we do this? We must force ourselves to smile and laugh, even if only at our predicament. We can also look for the bigger picture. Instead of feeling underpaid and hating the administrative / secretarial aspects of our work, we can identify the higher purpose. For instance, every employee in a bank can think they are working towards improving peoples access to financial security. Every employee in a pharma company can visualise their work enabling society to stay healthy.

2. Find a new employer. Just because motivation and self-help books keep talking about point 1, doesn’t mean we should stay there forever! This is also applicable to other unpleasant things in life. We may not be able to control the circumstances that we find ourselves in already. But that does not mean that we need to wallow in those circumstances permanently.

The key is doing BOTH of the above. Not just one. Most often we only do one. If we do both, they will reinforce each other, and soon enough, success will find us.

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Superpowers

There’s a theory that cockroaches can survive nuclear radiation. That’s truly fantastic – and they have a one-up on us humans. But do you think a cockroach knows and understands this distinct capability?

Did you know that dogs are amazing at math? Throw a frisbee and see how he intuitively calculates the trajectory of the incoming disc, and is able to launch himself at just the right angle and at just the right time. Now try explaining the trigonometry and physics involved to the dog. Woof!

An archerfish can from underwater, shoot a jet of H2O from its mouth – aimed perfectly at an unsuspecting insect perched atop a nearby plant. The insect falls into the water, and…yummy meal! How about engaging the archerfish on a conversation about how it perfectly applies complicated calculus into practise!

As human beings, there are many many things we do not understand (like gravity!), but that doesn’t make them fake or non-existent.

We each too have a superpower. This superpower is lodged deep within us, and is our true nature. Just because we cannot summarily understand who we are, doesn’t mean that we are incapable of harnessing this greatness. It will require some work and some faith.

When one goes within, all the problems of the outside are handled with ease.

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What exactly is dharma? – Part 2 of 2

So we continue from yesterday’s post on dharma.

The ancients have given us exceptional guidance. “Desha, Kaala, Paristhithi”, which translates to Place, Time and Situation. No law or diktat can be applicable to everybody, every time and in every circumstance. Hence trying to apply one standardised definition (one size fits all) may not work.

Dharma may also arise from the passion that one shows for one’s work. If we are able to find our true calling, and work as if it were play, then our duty would be implemented dharmically. Hardly anyone truly finds their passion though. Therefore, to start with, we would have to fool our minds into enjoying our work. Soon passion and enjoyment will come automatically.

There are also some universally accepted principles and values that come under dharma. Such as non-violence, truthfulness, cleanliness etc. No matter the caste, creed, race, or gender, these principles apply across the board. Here, we can follow the simple dharmic principle, “do not do unto others, what you don’t want them to do to you”, i.e. practising compassion and empathy.

Further, dharma is also in intent. Is the intent selfish? Is it driven by “what is in it for me?”. Instead of thinking about us, we should be thinking about others. Dharma therefore take shape when there is maximum benefit to maximum people.

As per Vedanta, the dharma of a human being is to attain moksha or liberation. This is somewhat a destination than a journey. However, the journey must be undertaken, with a life lived in accordance to all the above dharmic dictums. The destination will reveal itself automatically.

Finally, even the greatest of yogis and rishis have faltered in upholding dharma. Do we even stand a chance? We certainly do, but for that, we must take refuge in a Guru.

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What exactly is dharma? – Part 1 of 2

This is probably one of the hardest questions to answer. Not because the answer is hard to find. But because there are so many answers and so many perspectives. We may have to assimilate all of them and apply to our lives if we truly wish to transform ourselves. Let us look at them.

The most common contemporary definition of dharma is ‘duty’. The question then becomes, what is my duty? If I hate my job, should I continue doing it, because that is my duty and that I have to provide for my family? Or is it my duty to then put all my efforts into finding myself a new job? How about my duty as a son, a father, a husband, a friend, an employee?

A more nuanced definition then is, whatever you are doing right now, that is your dharma. If I am driving, my dharma is to drive with full attention on the road, and not to listen to some meditative music that might put me into a trance. Ditto for any of the myriad roles we each assume everyday.

In Sanskrit, dharma is defined as dhaarayate iti dharma. Which means, “that which stabilises, is dharma”. We see this in the world around us – when one dictator becomes all too powerful and begins to oppress those around him, there is eventually a people’s revolt that brings him down. Or when the earth is too polluted, a cascading negative impact is felt on its citizens, leading to some cathartic upheaval (like Covid19 brought down pollution for a while).

Another way of looking at dharma, is from the viewpoint of decision making. While the Mahabharata was chock-a-block with the world’s greatest warriors, none of them were able to make the right decisions, as observed by Lord Krishna himself. He says, given the circumstances, grandpa Bheeshma should have broken his vow, while Pandava leader Dharmaraja should have never gambled with dice. So it is possible, the action itself (like killing the Kauravas) may not appear dharmic, but that the decision (to kill the Kauravas in order to uphold justice) behind them is dharmic.

More definitions, and how to apply these to our lives – coming up in part 2 tomorrow!

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Why we do not achieve?

You may have ‘heard’ this story before.

A group of frogs lived in a very tiny enclosure. The only way to escape, was to jump really high. One brave frog, was sick of his cramped environment. He tried a high jump, but slipped and broke his leg. This became ‘hot news’. “Don’t try to jump out, or else you too will break your leg”, the younger frogs were advised by the elders. Soon this morphed into a mantra and a diktat, “No one should ever try to jump out – it is impossible.”

The mantra was passed on from frog generation to frog generation, and many many years later, there were more frogs, no jumpers and hardly any room. Such was the level of fear. Except when one day, one fellow jumped up and over to the outside. Smooth and clean, like a high jump gold at the Olympics.

All the frogs were shocked. “How did he do it? Did he not hear about the brave one who had valiantly attempted many generations ago and failed?”

The successful frog’s mother spoke from the silence. “My son did not hear, because he was born deaf.”

You may have ‘heard’ this story before.
We have all heard many things before.
But that is precisely the problem.

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Imperfectshunned

Is there anything more beautiful than a smile? Of course there is. A smile with a dimple.

Jokes aside, apparently the dimple is not an epitome of perfection. Rather, it is a flaw, a genetic deformity that causes the irregular growth of a certain facial muscle as the embryo develops.

Wow, so that means we do know to admire imperfections in life! Or are we the type that believes our brother or sister or spouse or parent must go under the knife to ‘get’ a dimple? Apparently this is a big thing – cosmetic surgery and all – go figure!

The world is full of imperfections. But that is what gives each one of us a chance to survive. If everyone was amazingly and equally good at math and finance, I wouldn’t have my job. If everyone was equally talented and looked like Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt or Scarlett Johannson, or directed like Steven Spielberg or Chris Nolan, we would be drowning in monotony.

We all know the adage beauty is only skin deep. But we are still attracted only by the beautiful. Everyone wants a beautiful wife, but not one scarred by an acid attack. Everyone wants a healthy and cute husky puppy – not one that can’t walk or see. What if we were on the receiving end of this partiality?

I remember an interesting company called Hungry Harvest that pitched on Shark Tank. Their premise was nifty. When we go to supermarkets to buy our veggies and fruits, we only pick the good looking ones. The deformed and ‘ugly’ produce never even see the daylight. But companies like these help make use of them. For instance, we drink carrot juice, but never care how the carrot looked. I don’t know anything about their business side of things. But if we all could see beauty in imperfections, the world could be a better place!

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Now, never, later

A mother was extremely worried about her child. She prayed to God for him. “Oh my poor baby, he’s been having it so hard these days. He deserves so much more. And he’s so good at heart too!”, she thought to herself. The lady had just celebrated her 90th birthday, and her ‘child’, at the age of 68, was on the verge of retirement.

Granted, that parents are perennially worried about their children, and mothers more so. But to what extent is this warranted, one would ask? Especially because on the spiritual path, we are told to keep curbs on our desires and attachments. When should one start enforcing some control?

The right answer will always be ‘now’. Why now? Simple. Because ‘later’ never comes!

We were perfectly happy with our own toy cars and dolls. Until one day the neighbour’s kid showed off her bigger toy. And then we wanted that bigger toy. Then we went to school and found others with so many things we didn’t have. We lived through all that, and then wanted a good education – “top college”, we thought. Getting in wasn’t enough – we had to live up to the competition. Including getting a top job from campus placement, with the best salary. But even that wasn’t adequate, because there were others who were better. And then we started working, and a few peers started getting married and then their kids came about. “How about my own marriage? Will it ever happen?” And you kept hearing all those talks about all the kids in all the parties. Oh isn’t that a different tangent altogether? Kids kindergarten, kids nanny, kids playtime, kids this kids that. Now one would have to desire for them too! All too soon, you’re 65 and about to retire. “I’ll give my desires up soon. I’m almost at the end only. Just one last major one – once I get to see my grandson start going to school, that’ll be it. And my grand daughter too!” The 90 year old lady was going to give up her desires soon as well.

This is an endless loop. Remember, the answer is ‘now’, not later.

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Why faith needn’t be about God

When someone is going through a tough time, we tell them “Have faith. All will be well.”

An atheist will consider this to be nonsensical. “There is no God, and therefore I have no faith in Him/Her.”

However, can we re-purpose this faith?

Deep inside us, there is a life force, a spark of consciousness. A spark that differentiates us, from the mere amalgamation of flesh, blood and bone that corpses are. This spark, according to the ancients, is the very essence of life and creation itself. To those who concur, it is also known as God.

If this spark aka Brahman, is the source of all creation, then surely this spark can also create any of the mundane things we run after – wealth, a promotion, a job, a family, a better life? This is also the crux of ‘creative visualisation’ programs.

Our mind currently thinks that everything we want can only be achieved by the body. But this is far from the truth. If this spark is within us, then all we need is to have faith in is in ourselves – the true us, not limited by our bodies.

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How to build your network?

Where is the center of the universe? Has the center been discovered? Is it possible to see the center through the Hubble telescope?

No, no, wrong center! The real center of the universe is we ourselves. Or rather, I, me, myself. We all live and function as though the universe and the whole world revolves around us. But we know this, right? What can we do about it, so that it benefits us?

The author of the book How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie (DC), has this to say. “People don’t care about me or you, but they care only about themselves.”

We are all looking to make friends, relationships, business partners, acquaintances, long lasting connections – you name it. But we struggle to build our networks. Why? Because we begin our efforts by focusing on ourselves. We want to let the world know who we are, what we like, what we dislike, what our talents are, what our hobbies are and in the process, we hope that the other person will recognise us for the great individuals we are, and allow us an entry into their league of awesome buddies.

All good, except that this is an effort that is being applied in reverse! As DC says, “You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming genuinely interested in other people, than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

If we want to make friends, we must do things for others – giving our energy, our time, our selflessness and our thoughtfulness. Here are a few things that can help!

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How to remain calm no matter what?

Here is a lovely story I heard recently from my very good childhood friend.

A factory owner once gave a surprise payout to all his employees. Each one of them came up to him, thanked him, praised him and left him with a big smile. Each one, except one. Just one employee, neither thanked him nor praised him. And this got onto the factory owner’s nerves. He just couldn’t understand why this person would not come to thank him.

This kept playing on the owner’s mind over and over. A few months down the line, he announced a cut in salary for this employee. A few days passed, and he was shocked that the employee still never came to him – crying, arguing, or at the very least, demanding an explanation.

Perplexed, the factory owner decided to confront the employee about his unsettling behaviour. The employee said, “Sir, on the day you announced the bonus, my wife gave birth to our son, and I took the bonus as a stroke of luck brought by my child. On the day when you cut my pay, my mother passed away, and I took the pay cut as if she took away what belonged to her. Therefore, I am unaffected by the pay rise or the pay reduction.”

It is said that one of the hardest feats a true yogi can achieve, is to remain equanimous in the face of duality. Especially in the face of life’s opposites – joy versus sorrow, pain versus pleasure etc. Life is full of such extremes – with today’s pain leading to tomorrow’s pleasure which then leads to further pain and the cycle continues forever.

Once we accept and realise that life is cyclical, we will be able to objectively evaluate each situation life places us in – and respond appropriately. Moderation is the key – and if the good doesn’t matter much, the bad won’t either.

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Can we stop accruing karma?

The law of karma is all encompassing. But since it is often difficult to come to terms with, we overthink, and this can be somewhat deleterious to us.

For instance, when we let extra water run while showering / brushing, couldn’t that water have been used by someone who has limited / no access to water, like maybe in a desert? Or when we devour an animal for food, wouldn’t we accrue bad karma for killing it? Same story for plants, as some non-vegetarians argue? How about when we land a job, get a degree, or secure an admission, sometimes through connections – aren’t these ‘victories’ of ours, depriving many others of what could have been theirs? And the times spent in a car for leisure travel so that one may de-stress, or a flight for a business meeting. Aren’t we polluting Mother Earth? And all those instances when we’ve competed with friends, relatives and others for who drives who where, who wins which sport, who plays what board game, who gets to keep what things, and all the slandering that happens thereafter? How about where we have an array of choices for what to eat, what to wear, what to speak etc. while so many people do not even have their basic rights and freedoms?

Does karma not accrue from all these things?

You can bet it does! The karma logbook is constantly updating itself – never to miss a thing.

The only way we can justify our actions then, is by devoting our actions for the greater good. Whatever we benefited from, it is our duty to give back to society, and this must always be our endeavour. And it always begins with gratitude.

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Is money important?

We are all scrambling mindlessly to make money. Or to make more money. Money is such an interesting invention.

For all the bad things in the world, the more the money, the worse it gets. If you are loaded, how does one say “No”, to all the friends that come to borrow and never repay. How does one keep away all the ‘eyes’ on your money. And the potential family feuds, and the rivalries, and even one’s own ego?

For all the good things however, there is quite nothing like money. It can buy time – a good amount of money means one doesn’t need to work as many hours in a typical job. It can also buy health to some extent, quality of life, maybe even a good life-partner! If one is inclined, it also helps in the service of others. Said differently, we cannot donate any money if we do not have any money in the first place.

There is nothing inherently wrong with money. But only as long as we treat it as the means, and not the end. Therefore money has to be a very personalised and calibrated metric. An exercise each one of us must embark on is to figure out for ourselves – how much is enough. This must be personalised, because it will depend on our own personal needs and expenses, without comparative inputs on the size of the neighbour’s car/house/yacht (because that will feature in their own calculation!). We can, however, consider those who live on 1/100th of what we have, but still lead happy lives. Our own ancestors for instance – would have had much lower take-homes, but they managed to raise significantly larger families!

Here is what we must always bear in mind. Money is very very very important. But it is not the most important thing.

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How can we handle criticism?

I recall a scene from when I was much younger, when our apartment was being renovated. Several labourers were involved in the painting, cementing, chipping, tiling, piping and other related activities. One chap in particular, would come late every single day. The supervisor who was overseeing this renovation project, took him to task once and asked him to be on time, as the rest of the work was being held up unnecessarily. I remember as the labourer merely smiled and listened patiently. Later the supervisor told me, all these workers are similar and smart – they just smile and stay silent. No frustration. No anger. No excuses.

Keep in mind, this worker was probably illiterate, and must have had all kinds of problems going on his personal life. Not that his professional life was much to speak of – as the daily wages in India can barely sustain hand to mouth existence. Even so, he had somehow learned to handle criticism beautifully. I’m thinking of the number of times I’ve been pulled up by my teachers or employers or even family members over the years – and can’t think of an instance when I managed to smile and listen patiently through criticism.

For most people, taking feedback or handling criticism is a very difficult process. This is especially true for the ones that are materially more successful, and that too early on in life. A daily wage earner is likely getting a verbal bashing every few hours (if not minutes) of each day – mostly from those barking orders at him. Those who have gone through tough childhoods and tough upbringings, are likely to be tough in their adulthood as well. They understand that life often does not work the way they want it to.

For those of us that have still not forgotten our boss’ or teachers’ or friends’ reprimands or criticisms, often from many years ago, we must toughen up, and let go. Surely those people have forgotten what they said. But these incidents remain imprinted in our memories, as if forever.

One way to let go, is to diversify. Have many activities, many friends, many mentors, many skills, many hobbies. It would be very difficult to annoy/destroy all of these at once. When the mind has many things to keep it busy, it will automatically stop dwelling on select instances from the past, and be less self-focused.

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How can I face life?

One of funniest and most heart warming TV shows in recent times is the 15-Emmy nominated Schitt’s Creek. If you haven’t heard of this show, then yes you read the name of the show right. The first time I heard it, I thought – what?! And it certainly wasn’t something I wanted to watch. But watch we did. And the lessons learned were pretty amazing.

The premise is simple yet unique. An opulent family of 4 – father, mother and two adult kids – loses all its wealth overnight. Everything, except the title to a tiny nondescript town in the middle of nowhere. They must move there at once and begin a new life. No maids, no butlers, no hors d’oeuvres in bed, no cars and certainly no money.

Suffice it to say, that the underlying messages packed through each of the episodes are pretty amazing. The family quickly finds that ‘friendship’ is redefined now that their bank balance is zero. The entitled and brattish nature of the young adults is quickly questioned, as all entitlements come with a price, to pay which, one needs money. There are also other beautiful lessons around family values, communication, love, compassion and many others.

Probably the most important one for me, was that everyone has their quirks, and the sooner we accept it, the better it is, for us. We can each be the family in Schitts Creek. Nobody knows what life will hit us with and when. This is not about being pessimistic, but being realistic. If you know today that there is a non-zero probability that disaster can strike in the future, what would you do differently today, with the benefit of hindsight?

One answer, according to me, is to live a life ‘mentally’ as though we’ve lost everything, without practically giving anything away. In this approach, we will find that we value even the smallest of things, make the most out of every opportunity, build robust relationships that go well beyond money, and never take anything for granted. Then success and happiness are guaranteed, irrespective of the actual circumstances – losing everything or not!

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What is the proof?

It has become a big deal to proclaim and trumpet the number of hours one spends on spiritual practises including attending satsangs, doing yoga asanas, meditating or reading scriptures. These activities quickly find their way into facebook, instagram and other social media. Nothing wrong in that.

One person spends her time attending seven Skype satsang sessions every day. Yet she herself admits to having all sorts of issues – desires, attachments, problems at home, problems at work – you name it.

Why this disconnect? Why do the hours in satsang or spirituality not translate into real life positive changes?

The answer is simple. Because there is no application. The change we seek must come from within. Reading a book or attending a discourse have little meaning if the learnings are not applied, consistently, day after day. To quote an oft-quoted example, we can all read 100s of books on the technique of swimming, but will never learn unless pushed into the water.

This does not mean we must reduce the hours one is spending on these good activities. But an hour spent less, instead of resulting in regret, should ideally culminate in real world implementation. Came across some lessons on anger management? Super, now see if you can control your tongue – no lashing out – especially in the company of your irritating but well-intentioned friend. Read something about the importance of being charitable? Great, now go out and see if you can donate 10% of your income this month to a charity of your choice.

In this case, the proof of the pudding, is in the doing.

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Do desires beget more desires?

Picture your favourite dessert. Thanks to the lockdowns everywhere, you have not been able to visit the restaurant that serves it. This is playing on your mind for a few weeks. Finally the restaurant opens up one day, and you order it on Uber Eats / Zomato / Swiggy / GrubHub. You polish off the delicacy in no time. Wow, wasn’t that long wait just so worth it?!

Given the relatively small serving size, you immediately feel like having another one. “Not today, but tomorrow surely”, you tell yourself. And then you proceed to keep thinking about the sweet dish sporadically during the rest of the day.

This is normal. We all have cravings, and the cravings may be satisfied – temporarily – but they certainly come back in the future. So desires do beget desires. But these desires only lead to unhappiness eventually (remember The Happiness Equation?). What can we do about this?

Ask anyone who’s had some Biryani to explain the dish to a vegetarian friend. “Biryani and vegetarian? Wait, does that combo even exist? How can you have biryani without chicken or meat balls?” But you ask the same thing to a pure vegetarian and they will tell you that there is nothing tastier than Paneer Biryani. And chicken biryani? “I’m a pure vegetarian, I’ve never eaten meat or fowl, and I can never think of harming another living being.”, pat comes the reply! What vegetarians lack in choice, enables their control on desire, at least for chicken biryani. But dessert may well be a weakness.

Out of sight, out of mind is a good way to keep a check. For instance, Domino’s Pizza stopped delivering to our place a year ago – as they can’t logistically honour their promise of ’30 minutes or free’. The family hasn’t had Domino’s since!

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In which language must we pray?

Sanskrit is one of the most beautiful languages in the world. There are some brilliant compositions, unlikely to be possible in any other language. For instance, in a poem called RamaKrishna Viloma Kavyam from the 14th century, when read from beginning to end, is about the Ramayana, while when read from back to front, is about the Mahabharata!

Sadly, Sanskrit is also a dead language. Hardly anyone speaks it today. And although there are some enthusiasts and some scholars, these are few and far between.

However, the language is also one of prayer. Most chants, mantras, shlokas etc. have all been composed in Sanskrit. Many people memorise these verses and chant them regularly. But given that the language itself is not understood, what then is the point of praying in such a language? Should one pray in their mother tongue instead? Is this a sensible argument? Surely translation from our language to His, is no challenge for a God?

Imagine we come across a beggar. He wears tattered clothes, his face and hands are dirty, he is frail and gaunt, and there is no doubt he has had little to eat in the last few days. Clutching at his stomach, he wails and cries and begs you repeatedly to give him some money. Now imagine another beggar, one dressed well, has a bit of a tummy, comes to you and says “Sir, give me some money.” Chances are, that you would help the first beggar, while doubting the intent, lack of emotion, and authenticity of the second.

Herein lies the key to prayer. Emotion is most essential. If we can figure out whether a person is faking it or not, wouldn’t God know if we are praying with sincerity or not? Without emotion, the most beautiful language cannot make a difference to the prayer. With emotion, even the absence of a language is no barrier.

The most beautiful combination however, would be both emotion and language. And that will take hard work, and intent.

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Factory reset

“Sir, please install anti-virus, restart your phone / laptop, and then your problem will be resolved.”, said the customer care executive to a worried customer caller. Not anywhere near the first time she said this, and certainly nowhere near the last.

This is not ground breaking advice. We’ve ourselves been at the receiving end of this many times haven’t we? If there’s a tech problem, please restart your device.

Post the restart or the factory reset, things indeed do function smoothly. All of the new apps, software, bloatware, ransomware, malware and whatnotwares that were clogging the device are now taken care of.

But where is the reset button for us human beings? How can we rid ourselves of all the anxiety, stress, burdens, toxic relationships and other problems?

The reset button is called Empathy. If we turn our focus outwards, if we work for others, work for the world, work for nature, then we will focus less on ourselves and our own little problems, and more on others. Unlike with phones and computers though, a reset will not erase both the good and the bad. Instead, our reset buttons retain the good, and eliminate the bad. What more could we want?

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Where is my happiness?

Here is the Happiness Equation from Swami Chinmayananda:

Happiness = Desires Fulfilled / Desires Entertained

It’s beauty lies in its alarming simplicity.

We are conditioned from childhood to think that the more our desires are fulfilled (i.e. bigger numerator), the closer we get to happiness. Our entire life is spent in pursuit of desire fulfilment – more money, more name, more fame and more everything else.

But this equation teaches us an infinitely simpler and sustainable way of being and staying happy. By reducing the denominator, happiness will come quickly, and the endless chain of desires begetting more desires will be broken. This is not to say we must immediately give everything up and start living like hermits. However, we can train our mind to be reasonable with its requests. This will come when we objectively evaluate for ourselves the validity of our desires. Such as – do I really need a 10 bedroom house? I can only sleep in one room at a time! Likewise for a garage of 10 antique cars.

The point must not be misunderstood. There is nothing wrong with lofty ambitions. However, the human mind is a complex beast, and it will soon compare with neighbours with 12 bedrooms and 12 cars, center the aim on loftier ambitions and eventually spiral out of control. This is the reason why seemingly rich people with everything that money can buy, can still be discontented, unhappy and depressed.

The ideal way then, is to be happy with what we already have (numerator increase), and begin to reduce our new desires (i.e. the denominator), and over time, we will ooze happiness, irrespective of the outside world.

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Overcoming indecisiveness

Should I choose this job or that? Should I work or study? Should I learn to play the violin or the guitar? Should I take 2 weeks off this quarter or next? Should I read this book or that? Should I buy a car or a bike, and if so which brand, make, color and model? Should I buy this dress for the wedding or that? Should I buy a house or rent one? Should I get married now or wait? Should I or shouldn’t I? Should I or shouldn’t I? Should I or shouldn’t I? and on and on and on it goes.

Indecisiveness is everywhere. And we waste enormous amounts of time being indecisive.

However, indecisiveness is not a problem. Indecisiveness is a luxury. This luxury stems from the fact that we even have a choice! Many downtrodden poverty stricken individuals have no choices whatsoever in life. Their next meal would depend on them continuing in their current job, not studying, not having the opportunity to holiday, no time to read, and definitely not buy any personal vehicles.

But luxury aside, we are also indecisive because we are wary of the results of our decisions. And not making a decision is definitely not an answer, because that too is a type of decision.

Each of our actions will have its own consequences. The best part is, that the actions themselves do not matter, much.

Whether I drank lemon tea for breakfast or chamomile is irrelevant. The relevant question to ask is, after gulping down my tea, what did I do the rest of my day? After making the choice of employer, car, college, violin, or marriage, what did I do thereafter? Did I step up and change the world? Did I improve my relationship with my spouse? Did I use my education and career to add value to the lives of those around me?

We are here to make a positive impact to those around us, and we must decide to keep that up. That is the only decision that matters.

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How to see?

The rains are so beautiful. Ah the petrichor. I love it.
Everything is so yucky and mucky. Eeks, so many insects. And the traffic jams.

My job is amazing. I’m contributing to nation building. The products I help build are improving lives.
My pay sucks, my working hours suck, my boss is terrible, my team is terrible.

This studio apartment is amazing. So compact, cosy and homely. And of course – easy to maintain.
What a hole-in-the-wall this is! No place to move around, host my parties or even make one addition to my wardrobe.

The 2 part-time jobs I’m lucky to have, helps me offset my student loan. This degree will enhance my credentials.
Tossing burgers, packing food, filling up fuel tanks. I hate this. Why can’t I be out partying instead?

Circumstance. Everything is awesome.
Same circumstance. Everything sucks.

The world is coloured by the lens through which we see it. We can choose the lens of despair and sorrow. Or we can choose the lens of sparkles and wonder.

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Last or First?

What was the difference between you on your last day in grade 5 and your first day in grade 6?
What was the difference between you on your last day of university and first day of employment?
What was the difference between you on your last day as a bachelor and your first day of marriage?
What was the difference between you on your last day at your employer and first day of your own company?
What was the difference between you on your last day as Manager and first day as CEO?
What was the difference between you on your last day moving out of one country and the first day in another?

Did ‘you‘ really change in that one instant between last and first?

We always believe that big landmark life-altering events change us. We think that we aren’t we anymore. That these external events have transformed us into someone else, someone better. Think about it. We will realise that it has been us only, all along – but growing steadily, step by step, experience by experience.

We are each capable of many things, without needing to be defined by specific external events. The leader, the achiever, the winner and the visionary within each one of us is already present here and now. We must just allow that person to be set free from the mental barricades we set for ourselves – including our title, wealth, past achievements, résumé etc. The potential thereafter is limitless.

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Green and brown

Since time immemorial, man has searched high and low, for the promised land, also known as heaven, paradise, swarga or elysium.

This search is no different from that suggested by the proverb “the grass seems greener elsewhere”. We are all looking for a heaven to go to, where our problems will be magically transformed into soft fragrant rose petals. But what if the grass were not green, but actually brown and dying weeds.

What if we were born in a country with no freedom, no rights and no voice? Or born in a concentration camp or a prison? What if we were age 1 and the only survivor in a plane crash that decimates an extended family of 12, all returning from an overseas vacation? What if we were age 4 and told that a rare medial condition would give us just 1 year to live? There are millions of kids with such conditions! What if we had no limbs, or had no eyesight? What if we were not born a human, but as an animal? No, not the pampered pets on Instagram – but those that have to be culled after suspected exposure to a virus?

We could have easily been any of the above, but by some quirk of fate, we are not. Is that not something to rejoice over and over? Even living beings put through the hardest and harshest of conditions, find a way to be happy. So why are we sad? Why are we constantly looking for a mythical land of magic and perfection?

We are already in heaven. We have the power to make our own heaven. Right here right now. We must open our minds and embrace it.

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Commonly uncommon

At first, all this spiritual talk about everyone being the same, the Brahman, will seem like nonsense. This stage of denial is safe.

Close to the finish line – it will dawn – through the reality of experience. This exposure is safe too.

In between though, is the most dangerous. This is the stage of the half-truth. A seeker will under delusion apparently see himself in everything and everything in himself. And then calmly present his head between a crocodile’s jaws, or his entire body to a pack of hunting lions. Or side with murderers, or worse. “But they are all Brahman, aren’t they?” This is where common sense becomes so essential. Spirituality is only relevant when the aspirant is alive.

All of this talk of the soul deep down being the same, is certainly correct, but often incomplete in application. One must use the mind, and then go beyond it. Easier said than done, and largely just a play of words. In practical application, there are two things to focus on, to make the highest goal attainable:
1. Reduce, and eventually give up desires.
2. Reduce, and eventually give up attachments.

The rest will happen automatically, say those who have experienced.

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Why bad is good

The goal of human life is to achieve liberation or moksha. This is not some special state where one can toggle the world on or off. Rather it is described as a state where one is ‘always on’ to the Oneness of creation.

If we go to a supermarket after a heavy lunch, we typically only buy what we went in to buy. But if we enter the supermarket ravenous, we will likely fill our trolleys with everything even remotely related to food.

Put a group of seekers into a room, and ask “How many people want moksha this very instant?”, and you will be lucky to see even one hand go up. Such is the power of maya, and such is the strength of our attachment to this world.

The spiritual hunger before entering the satsang, or before meditation or before reading a book on spirituality should mirror the hunger pangs before entering the supermarket. This hunger, this burning desire, will bring about results in a fraction of the time it has taken even many advanced seekers.

When our lives are filled with material successes and goodness (health, wealth, name, fame), we become complacent. The hunger dies down. We become errant, and the human goal stands forgotten. When bad times strike, the pillar of support that spirituality can be, has not been developed enough.

But developed, it still can be. Because the same bad time leads us to search for answers. And in such times, the vigour of the search is far superior. Thus bad becomes good. So let us look at bad times as an opportunity. To learn and to grow.

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Don’t Open This Email

Emails. Hate them or love them, but you can’t ignore them! Here are some commonly recognisable corporate email styles, and parallels / takeaways for me.

  1. Urgent: Please send presentation to ABC
    Most recipients dread the email with subject line ”urgent’ that comes with a red exclamation mark. Some senders are notorious for originating these. When over used, the urgency is lost. Not unlike the boy who cried wolf.

    Takeaway: It is better to plan in advance, than have to send urgent requests – which can be equally problematic for all parties. There is only so much we can expect from others.

  2. Hi
    This subject line suggests an email on generally nothing worthy. But being the twentieth email in the chain, the topic has now long shifted from ABC to PQR and now XYZ.

    Takeaway: Focus in emailing and in living is underrated. Just ‘doing something’ is overrated.

  3. Hi everyone, request you to please share your comments on ABC
    When a specific actionable is requested of a larger group, and the email is addressed to everyone, you can bet your last dollar that no one will respond.

    Takeaway: Most of the world is in inertia. There is little incentive for anyone to change – whether action or behaviour. If there is something we expect of someone. we must first accept that our expectations may never be met.

There are plenty more, like Replying All – despite no one caring (much like in life, where nobody wants to listen to our nonsense), or ‘not replying at all’ – silence is golden yes, but can be most irritating when one someone is looking for our help. Keeping these in mind could improve our quality of life.

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The 2 most important words

The Bhagavad Gita has two amazing words in Sanskrit, to describe the world.

One is ashaashvatam – which means impermanent.

The other is dukhaalayam – which means sorrowful.

If we think back to most (or all) of our possessions and experiences, these two words sum them all up. What we think brings great joy to us today, eventually results in great unhappiness. Because those things either make us want more of the same. Or they are things that we realise we cannot cling on to forever.

The reason the world is summarised this way, is not at all to dash our hopes, or to make us morose and depressed.

Instead it ably reminds us of the inevitable, and aims to shift our focus to how we must live.

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MJ can change your life!

No MJ is not Michael Jackson, or Michael Jordan, or even Mary Jane.

MJ stands for Miracle Journal. And MJ can indeed change your life – because it certainly did mine!

The concept is simple, but the magic is in the doing.

Pull out a notebook, either a physical one, or an online note-taking app, like Evernote.

Start listing down all the miracles that have happened in your life. Just one line each.

Irrespective of how tough our lives may have been, we have each had those magical moments. Like the time a friend saved you when you were in trouble. The time when you went on your first date with your partner. The time when ate your most favourite food. Or when the delivery guy came just in time as you were leaving on vacation. The vacation itself. The visa for the journey, that came through despite you not meeting all the criteria. Or the job you got when you needed one so badly. Or the promotion. When a stranger helped you with directions in an unfamiliar city. That one teacher in kindergarten who was extra kind to you. Getting a taxi just when you need it.

Yes, these are tiny almost unnoticeable events in our lives. But taken together, they are a gargantuan force that has shaped who we are today. On any day when things aren’t going that well for us, all we need to do, is to open up MJ, and relive what life has given us, and how gracious it has been.

Trust me, we will feel lucky instantly, and the rest of the day will be fantastic. Try it – MJ will not disappoint!

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No one’s crush

When I opened up my Instagram account today, a video (it was called a ‘reel’) played automatically. It was only a few seconds long. There was a large but stationary truck on a narrow road. Behind that truck, 4-5 cars (sedans and hatchbacks) slowly lined up and stopped. A few seconds later, another truck came up from behind in full speed. Maybe the brakes failed, I don’t know. The truck was moving so fast that it literally *crushed* all the cars in front of it, and finally hit the stalled truck in front. A huge cloud of dust emerged thereafter. And then the video ended.

Ghastly, to say the least.

I don’t know when the video was shot, or where it was taken, or why it showed up on my feed. But suffice it to say, that none of the people in those cars, woke up that morning, thinking it would be their last day, and that they would meet their Creator, after being sandwiched by two trucks. All their dreams and ambitions and hopes and fears – crushed mercilessly.

Scary? Yes certainly. But we must not become defeatists or fatalists. Life is indeed fleeting. In this short period however, are we living our lives – sitting on our backsides and twiddling our thumbs? Or are we constantly working for the betterment of the world? Yes, bad things may happen. But good things may happen too. Let us call the glass half full.

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IIWII

Having spent some time in investment banking, IIWII (pronounced ee-wee) became all too commonplace. Especially in the wee hours of the night, and up against yet another all-nighter. When the eyes get blurry, with sleep fighting against one cuppa coffee too many, certain things will just stop making sense. Why does the MD want this presentation to be ready by tomorrow morning itself? Why do these numbers not add up? Where is the excel backup for this chart? Why are the footnotes for this company’s financials so opaque? Why am I even working here?

IIWII is the answer to all these questions and more. “It is what it is”. Every senior i-banker who has gone through the same grind will attest to it, nod as if cognisant of your deepest pain, and allow you to continue slogging away. It is what it is, and there is no changing it.

Life is also IIWII.

Where you were born, the work you are doing today, the people you live with it, the circumstances you are in today etc. etc. are all IIWII, at least to some extent, in the short term. These cannot be changed overnight. There are other bigger grander IIWIIs too. Like existential questions – Why was I born? Why should I die? Why do good people go through such tough times? Why do bad people go scot-free? Why is the world like this?

Nobody has the answers. The only way out then, is to get rid of the questions themselves. This can happen either automatically, over many many years. Or, one can focus on helping others and dedicating their lives in service of others. The latter is a fast track and sure shot way, of not just letting go of the questions, but also letting go of all our life’s troubles – as we would be too busy focusing on others to think about our silly problems.

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Century

In the sport called cricket, a ‘century’ is when a batsman scores 100 runs. This post today brings ForeverHappyNow (FHN) to its century. A big thank you to all the readers and well wishers!

A question I often get is: “Who are you writing all these posts for? Is it for those who are going through a rough patch? Or for a person in need of motivation? Or is it for someone in depression? Or someone looking to explore spirituality?”

My answer is very simple. These posts are for me. The writing helps me introspect. It is a way for me to identify my flaws and work on them. The essence of spirituality is that it is available freely to all – no matter the race, colour, gender, wealth or qualification. The only challenge is that the path cannot be outsourced. The journey is to be undertaken on one’s own. So FHN is for my own transformation. If in the process, all of us are benefited, with each able to score our own centuries in our own pursuits, that would be a wonderful outcome!

A toast to end this post: Here’s to a double-century!

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Simplification

One of the highest rated zombie TV shows on IMDB is The Walking Dead. A lot of my friends rave on and on about it.

I haven’t watched it yet. Perhaps I do not need to. Because I see so many zombies around me every day. Sometimes I’m a zombie too.

There is no dearth of people with dark circles, worry lines on their foreheads and frowns hidden by make-up. They exhibit a solemn sense of hurry and anxiety – with nowhere to go in particular or nothing to do.

Life beckons to them to achieve more and more and more, or so they tell themselves, shifting some of the blame onto their employers. “You don’t understand. It’s like this only. The rules cannot be changed.”, said one person after giving 10 years of his life to one company.

These affluent zombies amass money, name, fame, status and what not. But almost entirely on other people’s terms, justifying their actions based on social comparisons, and rarely finding the time to truly feel alive. “How I wish I could simplify my life”, is a common regret, as if it were a fading dream.

Here’s the truth though. We do not need 2 cars. We do not need 3 houses. We do not need to show off our wealth. We do not need to show off our abilities and fan following. The more we have and show publicly, the more we are pushed to preserve. Given we will all be gone in the next 100 years, does mindless preservation even make sense?

Simplification is simple. But only we can choose to simplify. Let the zombies remain on TV.

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Day One

Amazon has a concept called Day One. Jeff Bezos has written about Day One in detail in his letters to shareholders. His idea is that Amazon employees should always consider themselves as though working for the very first day of Amazon’s existence. This way no one takes Amazon’s success for granted, and everyone continues to work as doggedly as possible. No past successes will form a ceiling for future achievements.

This is a great philosophy for a company no doubt. But I can’t help but wonder if this is healthy when applied to our personal lives.

The person who couldn’t understand what “Adios amigos” meant in Spanish one year ago, is now able to converse well in the language after taking classes. But her thought? “I’m still so far away from attaining native fluency, I feel so stupid, and my progress is so slow.” The person who months ago only knew ABCDEFG as alphabets can now play “River Flows in You” on the piano. But his thought? “Damn those YouTube child prodigies – here I am at 45 struggling with sight reading, while my eyes can barely keep up with the speeds of their hands!” The person who couldn’t see his feet because his tummy got in the way, has now lost 30 kilos. But his thought? “My abs still are not visible – I hate my body, especially that stubborn lower belly fat.”

If any of the above seem familiar, that is because all too often, we are critical of ourselves beyond reason. We can then re-purpose Day One this way. Think of that first day when we did not even know anything about the skill / ability we wanted. From zero understanding of vocabulary, or music or dance or coding etc. we have now become significantly better.

Being happy with this fantastic progress from day one, let us continue to take small steps every day, to reach grand heights one day.

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Purple hues

“That purple streak you’ve got in your hair – it doesn’t suit you.”, said the man. You just let that drop by unnoticed. Why? Because you don’t have a purple streak in your hair. “What a random comment. Nonsense.”, you think to yourself.

“You have a funny nose – it is so pointy.”, said the man. Ooooh, this one stings! You know you have a pointy nose, and have been the butt of many jokes since your childhood. “I hate myself. I look so ugly. Me and my stupid nose.”

We are offered many free unsolicited opinions by all kinds of people. Most people do not care if what they are saying is hurtful, necessary or even factually correct.

Our problems arise not from listening to such people or even having them as friends or colleagues. Rather, our problems come from taking such people seriously and believing that what they say is indeed true. This makes us feel small at best, and devastated and depressed at worst.

The next time someone says something hurtful to us, whether partially true, fully true or fully false, we just need to remember one thing. That our hair is not purple.

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Living optimally

Ask any scientist about the universe(s). S/he will tell you it is all based on the space time continuum. This term has also been made famous by sci-fi Hollywood movies.

The space-time continuum simply describes how space and time are relative and how objects that move at higher speeds experience time more slowly. That level of detail doesn’t matter much to most of us, as we are rarely going to be travelling at anything remotely close to the speed of light.

What is nice though, is that our ancients had this all figured out. They realised that our lives are impacted by these two critical aspects, i.e. time and space. They figured, that if we could optimise both time and space, then we could live our lives to our fullest potential.

How did they do this?

To optimise time, they used Jyotish (i.e. Vedic Astrology) to answer what the good and bad periods in one’s life were, which specific areas of life would be most impacted, and how one could make crucial decision using all this information.

To optimise space, they used Vaastu, i.e. the science of space, light, flow, architecture etc. to design ideal living spaces / homes.

The level of detail (available to anyone who is interested, please google!) in these sciences is unfathomable. Most people today unfortunately use these for fear mongering, as superstition or to make money unlawfully. These traditional sciences need to be revived and their benefits shared with everyone.

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Why surrender?

We often hear about the need to surrender the ego. Spirituality covets it as the highest achievement. Because once that is done, there is no I or me or my, and nirvana has been attained.

While that is indeed a lofty goal, there is one immediate and practical utility.

All our problems stem from the perception that the universe revolves around us. “Oh, if I do not dish out an amazing blog post day after day, then my fans will be disappointed.” Nope – what fans? “Oh, if I do not make the perfect presentation, my employer will shut down”. Nope – no deal was ever clinched solely because of one presentation. “Oh, if I do not top the class, my career will be finished.” Nope – everyone cannot come first, and there is infinitely more to life than firsts and seconds. “Oh, if I do not sing the lead part of this song, my streak will be broken.” Nope – if you give a chance to others instead of hogging the limelight all the time, you will get their blessings. “Oh, if I do not lose 5 kilos, my fiance will leave me.” Nope – because if 5 kilos was all it took for your partner to leave you…

While we must continue to do our best work (in every aspect) day after day, we must also tell ourselves that we are not that important, and that most things really don’t matter. This will help get rid of the insane demands we make of ourselves.

Life is much more than just us. Let us be happy – status quo.

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When time saved != time earned

We procrastinate on several things. Especially good things.

We don’t find 5 minutes to plan our days. But astute planning can reduce much daily stress.
We don’t find 10 minutes for meditation. But meditating regularly can add great clarity to our thoughts.
We don’t find 20 minutes for exercise / yoga. But exercising regularly can add many years to our lives.
We don’t find 30 minutes for cooking. But making our own meals can keep all ailments away.
We don’t find 60 minutes to complete our sleep quota. But sleeping well adds many hours to our productivity.
We don’t find any time to spend with our loved ones. But our family is what will be there when no one else will.

Each of these activities takes time. But the benefits far outweigh the time spent on the activities themselves.

Let us invest our time wisely.

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Ha ha ha

You are lazing on the beach. Not any beach. Your own private beach. The beach covers most of the eastern part of island’s shoreline. Not any island. Your own private island. In the Carribbean.

You call for some fresh food. All organic, all grown on the island. Or caught fresh from the sea. A barbecue is setup immediately, by the pier. A few of your private yachts are moored there. Calling these luxurious, would be an understatement.

You bought all of this with the US$ 1 billion that you inherited last year, unexpectedly. There is plenty of cash to spare.

You and your partner are close to completing 1 year of this lifestyle. All is well. But you think suddenly, “How long can I sit on the beach, lazing around?” Words that you would have never thought would ever cross you mind, in this dream-like real situation.

You have everything that money can possibly buy, and then some. But still there is something amiss. You realise, that all of these external possessions, have not succeeded in calming your mind.

You look at the old fisherman on his boat. He seems so happy, so calm, and you wave to him. The fisherman waves back. Little do you know, that he is thinking the exact same thing about you. “Oh how calm he is, and how incredible it would be, if I could be rich and own an island.”

Somewhere out there, the Creator laughed to Himself.

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If you’re happy and you know it

We function at our best when we are happy and motivated. There is no need to quote any scientific research on this, because we have each experienced this first hand.

We love going to work when we are involved in a meaningful project with much acknowledgement. But we hate going to work when we are at the receiving end of office politics.

For those who have work, the work is usually boring or irritating or frustrating or stupid or anxiety-inducing or unfulfilling or exhausting and/ or many other things. For those who don’t have work – the ones who have to support their families, who just got laid off, their companies were shut down etc. – all they can think of, is how and when their next paycheck would come.

In India, for the job of a ‘messenger’ in a State police department, there were over 93,000 applicants. These included 3,700 PHDs, 50,000 graduates and 28,000 post-graduates. The requirements of the job? Having cleared grade 5 in school, and being able to ride a bicycle. The benefits? A 250 US$ salary and job security. How does this make you feel about your job, if you already have one? Gratitude is a wonderful thing.

This is not to say, that we must never have goals and never aim for a promotion or a better job. Rather, we can do all these much better, if we are happy and motivated with what we are already doing. This approach will make us maximally efficient, freeing up mental and physical resources to work on our ambitions.

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In all fairness

“I will give you 1$. In return, you give me 100,000$. It’s a fair deal.”

No doubt, you scoff and walk away. “How the heck is that fair?”

Later, you visit a temple. You pray, “Dear God, I’m heading for the most important job interview of my life. This is going to be a career defining moment. Please make sure that I get the job.” And then in the donation box, you put 1$ and leave.

Notice the disconnect?

We expect others to be fair to us, but when we ask for divine intervention, we are not ready to give up proportionately.

Life works on the principle of karma. Action = reaction. We need to give, if we expect to receive. And we are always expecting to receive something or the other isn’t it? This in addition to all that we have already received, since the day we were born.

This is not about putting 1$ or 100,000$ in a donation box. The money is only a substitute for the many resources we can give up or share, including energy, time, effort, likes, tears, intent, passion and compassion among other things. Let us be fair.

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Trick or treat

It is Friday night here. Today was a really tiring and hectic day for me at work. This past week has been the exact same. Every day has been so tight, this might easily be the fastest week this year.

At this very moment, although I have some pending work for today, I am at peace.
Yesterday and the day before, at the exact same time, I was already done with work. Yet I was on edge.

What explains this?

It is just my mind playing tricks on me. Surely the imminent weekend has much (or all) to do with it.
There are automatic labels that have got established.
Weekend = Fun.
Weekday = Not Fun.

This is all just an illusion. Even the weekend is not fun, once we start thinking about the week ahead. While any weekday that is part of a countdown to an upcoming vacation is fun.

The only fun to be had is right here right now. As I write this blog. As you read it. And as you and I both continue on with whatever else life throws at us. Everything is fun. Life is fun. Let us believe it, and our minds will fall for it. Guaranteed!

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Map of Life

“Vedic Astrology! You believe in that nonsense? I thought you were educated!”

Quite a common reaction, to say the least. But there are so many outstanding nuances to this science.

Here’s one I really like: We need not look at the planets as some far off celestial bodies. Rather we can view the planets as embedded deep within us. Each planet represents certain facets of our personalities.

  1. Saturn – a much maligned planet, represents our traditional side and capacity to work hard
  2. Rahu – a node from the Moon, has only a head (and eyes therefore), is linked to obsession, materialism
  3. Ketu – the other Moon node, has no head, but only tail – hence untouched by the senses, deeply spiritual
  4. Mars – shows our inner aggression, impatience, courage, willpower and passion
  5. Sun – represents authority and statesmanship
  6. Moon – our sweet, motherly, emotional side
  7. Jupiter – our inner wisdom, intuition, intellect and guidance
  8. Venus – the creativity engine, shows our excitement, pleasure and luxuries
  9. Mercury – the analytical abilities, learning, communication skills

We all have each of these planets within us, in various combinations, at various times.

Astrology provides insights into what periods of time are likely to be most conducive for which planets. As an example, if one’s Mars is very strong, then maybe s/he should keep themselves in check at work, rather than vent out to the boss in frustration – which could lead to unwanted outcomes.

This can help, very similar to how Google Maps helps us reach our destinations. The end point is known of course, but we can get there either through an hour of traffic or by avoiding it.

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In their thoughts

“Tina! Did you have your breakfast today?”, asked her father. “I’m not a baby dad, can you stop asking me this all the time?”.

“Sam, can you please get that document from my table?”, asked his boss during a client meeting. “I hate doing these menial tasks – why can’t he be more prepared?” thought an agitated Sam.

“Dolly, you need to change your diet. The extra pounds are not looking good”, said her friend, also a fitness coach. “Who is she to tell me about my body? Sure, she is in great shape, but why is she making me feel bad?”

All of the above can benefit from a shift in perspective.

Many people do not have anyone to tell them anything. Their lives tick by in solitude. Even the ones who are in the spotlight sometimes. No wonder then, that there is no dearth of depression and suicide cases.

The next time someone enquires about us (“Did you eat?”) or asks for our help (“Can you please bring that from there?”), let us be extra grateful to them. We are lucky that we are in the thoughts of others, whatever the reason may be.

That in itself is a reason to rejoice.

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The cyclist

The word ‘Peloton’ is probably familiar to exercise enthusiasts, as the company which provides high-tech in-home workout equipment. Late in 2019, the company went public after much hoopla over a pricey multi-billion dollar Initial Public Offering.

The word peloton is also used in professional cycling. It refers to the close-knit formation we see in cycling races. The cyclist in the lead ends up taking the brunt of the wind and air. This helps the cyclists behind him, because the leader cuts the wind drag to them by up to 40%, leading them to conserve significant energy.

Our lives are tough, peppered by all sorts of uncertainties and calamities. Even the spiritual path is fraught with enemies – like our minds – and largely of our own creation.

There is one person in the lead though. Unflinching, he has walked the path and the talk. He has experienced everything there is, and knows all the pitfalls. He is at the head of the peloton, helping us seek and reach the Truth, while conserving our sanity, and shielding us every step of the way.

He is the Guru. The scriptures say, that when the time is right, s/he will enter our lives.

All we need to do, is to follow her/him, with utmost faith.

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The fan

Captain America just gifted his Shield to a fan.
Iron Man and Spider-Man are fighting to outdo each other on sending even better gifts to this fan.
This tiny 6-year old fan, has bowled all of The Avengers over!
But how?

A gnarling German Shepherd chased after a 4-year old girl.
The fan, her brother, with not a trace of hesitation, bravely stepped in between.
All he wanted, was to save his sister.
He succeeded, but also got in harm’s way.

90 stitches later, he still has a smile on his tiny face.

Makes me think – would I at his age – have been able to act so selflessly?
Makes me think – would I at this age – be able to act so selflessly?

Values come from the inside. And the inside has no connection to the size of the outside.
This little fan has a new fan!

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No firsts among equals

How can we see the Universal Spark / Brahman / Supreme Soul / God / Super-consciousness in everyone?

A disciple was once singing a devotional song in front of my Guru. All the other members in the audience including his co-disciples, just couldn’t take the screeching any longer. Most of them left the room. But my Guru? He just continued enjoying the praises of the Lord. When the song was over, he asked the disciple to sing the song again. And then again. And then he praised him, saying that it was a heartfelt rendition, and that practising more would make him better.

The disciple knew that his singing was terrible, to say the least. When he asked my Guru, how he could enjoy what no one else could, my Guru said, “That is because I look at you as my own child. If your 2-year old son or daughter were to sing, even if totally out of tune, would you not enjoy and revel in the moment?”

Before we can reach the final states of consciousness that Vedanta speaks of, we must first attempt to see those around us as equals. Not from a material status point of view, but as those worthy of our empathy and compassion.

Only if we can see people as our own, can we then treat them as our own. Without this, the higher concepts will remain just that. Conceptual.

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La casa de la mente

This weekend, my wife and I started watching Netflix’s amazing and highly acclaimed Spanish language TV show titled La Casa de Papel (aka Money Heist, with subtitles). No spoilers here, don’t worry!

Like in any robbery / hostage drama, a negotiator is always a key character. And if there is one dependable weapon a negotiator needs, it is a calm mind.

We are all negotiators in some sense, in our day to day lives. Things often do not go according to plan. And while we can cry and bawl about all of life’s quandaries, we cannot change external circumstances. The victor is one who has brought her/his mind under control, irrespective of the outside world.

This is no doubt easier said than done. But it is also not acquired solely by divine endowment either. There are 3 specific steps which will help control the mind (i.e. mente).

  1. Practise meditating everyday. Intentionally, purposefully. Setting time aside for it.
  2. Right Living. Including moderation in food intake, exercise and sleeping.
  3. Staying alert. This is to ensure continuity of 1 and 2. It is easy to fall off the path. Doing a spiritual audit, or being in a self-help group or ‘satsanga’ helps.

The end result? Mente tranquila!

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The Suit

In a previous avatar, a colleague and I were leaving office for the day. It was the last day of the week – and also casual wear day. We entered the lift, and the doors were about to close. Just then, someone cried out “Hold the door please!”

I pressed the ‘< >’ button.

The always formally dressed Global Head of Sales walked in. “Thanks!”, he said. My colleague, who was looking at his phone, looked up and said “Hi Sam!”, only to realise a moment later that this wasn’t Sam. Sam was the CEO, also always formally dressed. My colleague apologised, “I’m sorry Neil, I only saw you from behind, and mistook you for Sam, who also always wears a suit”.

“No worries”, said Neil. “But I wish I was Sam. My annual take home pay would be higher by 2 million.” The lift door opened, and after weekend pleasantries were exchanged, Neil went on his way, and we ours.

The lesson to me was not new. But it proved yet again, that no matter how high up we go, or how much money we make, it is never enough.

The ancients teach us, that all sorrow and suffering in the world stem from overtly dwelling on sense objects. This leads to attachment, which in turn leads to desire (unfulfilled) which then leads to anger, delusion and ruin. Something to think about.

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Grace anatomy

‘Divine grace’ is often considered some kind of magical interference that will make problems go away. It is also viewed as something only a select group of people are bestowed with. But the reality is, that grace is there for everyone to tap into.

If we want to let the breeze in, we need to open the windows first.

Around 150,000 people died yesterday, and the day before, and each day before that, but not us. We are alive and well today. That is grace. Each step – one could be crushed by a falling object, swept away by a current, electrocuted by a live wire and what not. There are so many mishaps, so much uncertainty, and no idea if we will reach our destinations when we set off on our journeys. A few years ago, the local met department chief’s own daughter got stuck in the city’s rains-induced floods – so we can’t even predict the weather properly!

We only have an illusion of control of our lives – but in reality have no control at all.

Even so, we have managed to sidestep all of these disasters, for all these years. That is divine grace.

How do we open the windows? True grace, is not some materialistic miracle, but the dispelling of our ignorance. Ignorance that we are the body and the mind – which is the cause of all sorrow and suffering. The divine truth we seek is embedded deep inside each one of us. To seek it actively, to become aware of it, to be grateful to it, is a reflection of divine grace.

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On the other side of the world

I’m starving!“, screamed the 10-year old brat to his mom, when his dinner was served to him a few minutes late. On the other side of the world, an entire poverty-stricken family of four had not eaten for 3 days.

I’m shivering here, is there no temperature control?”, complained the first-class flyer to the stewardess, when his private room got a little cold. On the other side of the world, a homeless man couldn’t afford socks to keep his feet warm.

I wish I could be jobless for a while” said the executive, flopping onto his couch, after an unusually hectic week at work. On the other side of the world, a single mother with 2 kids just got laid off from her job as a waitress, thanks to the pandemic.

It’s boiling in here“, the high-maintenance girlfriend remarked to her lover, when the AC in the car took a couple of minutes to start cooling. On the other side of the world, a coal mine worker, subjected to extreme temperature and chemical hazards, could barely breathe.

I hate getting wet!“, shrieked the woman, when a light drizzle began. On the other side of the world, a frail-looking man, with cleaning equipment strung onto his back, prepared to descend into the manhole.

Oh the things we say, and wish for, in our inadvertent callousness!

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Problem Gone?

The plumber came home to fix the leak. “That’ll be $100”. We don’t understand what he does. But we pay him anyway.
Problem Gone.

The technician came home to fix the TV. “That’ll be $200”. We don’t understand what he does. But we pay him anyway.
Problem Gone.

The mechanic came home to fix the car. “That’ll be $500”. We don’t understand what he does. But we pay him anyway.
Problem Gone.

The doctor came home to fix the broken bone. “That’ll be $1000”. We don’t understand what he does. But we pay him anyway.
Problem Gone.

The Guru came home to fix us. “That’ll be free of charge”. We don’t understand what he does. But we doubt him anyway. “Will it work? How can he get rid of all my tensions and stress? Who is he to know my life and give me advice?”
Problem Not Gone.

No Faith = Problem Not Gone.
Faith = Problem Gone.

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In reverse

Enjoy your work, then you will love your job
Enjoy your workout, then you will love your body
Enjoy your food habits, then you will love your food
Enjoy your own company, then you will love your partner
Enjoy your moments, then you will love your day
Enjoy your connection, then you will love your family and friends
Enjoy your lifestyle, then you will love your life
Enjoy your happiness, then you will love your success

But we usually have all these backwards. We do! Check again. For instance, we let our jobs decide if we will enjoy our work. Or we look at our unshapely bodies and end up despising workouts. And so on.

Thus there is no happiness.

In reality, we already have everything we need. We just need to bring the enjoyment to the here and now. It is only a mindset shift.

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Statistics and Faith

Hundreds of thousands have given up trying to scale Everest. “Getting to the top is impossible.”
Hundreds of thousands have lost their jobs. “The job market is dead.”
Hundreds of thousands are dying from the pandemic. “Our very survival is under question.”
Hundreds of thousands have seen salary cuts. “Promotions and bonuses this year – not happening!”
Hundreds of thousands have applied for the scholarship but not got it. “It is not for us mere mortals”.

Vague motherhood statements such as these apparent experiences of the “hundreds of thousands” only serve to demotivate and demoralise.

We are not hundreds of thousands. We each are just one. We just need one job, one chance, one paycheck, one summit.

We must leave no stone unturned in getting what we need.

Forget the stats. Instead, fuel the faith.

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Inner peace, or pieces?

A news item caught my eye. It was about one of my favourite Hollywood actors. He is known for some amazing gangster movies that achieved cult status. He has apparently sought to reduce alimony payments to his ex-wife from US$ 100k to US$ 50k. Per month! This is more than most earn in a year or three.

It seems the coronavirus pandemic has damaged some of his investments in the hospitality sector. His net worth is still estimated at around US$ 500m! Needless to say, there are counter-cases and allegations from the other party.

By all conventional metrics, he is super successful. But is he happy? Who knows! But would a 75 year old rather chill in peace? Or be fighting cases in court?

Spirituality teaches us that peace is happiness. There is no mention of bank balance. Only mental and emotional balance.

Seek peace. Or make it. Happiness will come running.

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Ask and know

A pilot can fly a plane, and understand its broad (aero)dynamics. But one cannot expect her/him to assemble a plane from scratch.

The operations head of a dairy company can manage supply chain and milk delivery to customers perfectly. But expecting her/him to understand the nitty-gritties of bovine health and feedstock is silly.

An expert fashion designer might have the best eye for haute couture. But putting her/him in charge of a fashion company – to deal with all the finances, HR, operations and technology – would be incongruous.

In life, mutual interdependence is inevitable. Not one single thing in this world happens independent of anything else. We wouldn’t even be able to breathe, if it weren’t for the trees around us.

Likewise, it is impossible for one person to know everything. But we are often still too scared to ask others for help. If we are perceived to have low IQ or poor calibre – but that is the perceiver’s problem! And this is rarely the case though – because everyone loves to give advice and most people love to blah blah blah as they love the sound of their own voice.

It is better to ask and find out, than stay silent and never know, or worse, get an inferiority complex, when there should be none.

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The prayer was answered

Someone prayed for a beautiful wife. The prayer was answered. The wife was so beautiful that all eyes were on her. Soon the affairs started.

Someone prayed for a million dollars. The prayer was answered. The friends got jealous. Many relationships were lost.

Someone prayed for having kids. The prayer was answered. A baby boy was born. But the mother died in labour.

Someone prayed for their dream job. The prayer was answered. It was unearthed that the company had committed massive fraud. A career was lost.

Someone prayed for that vacation to Hawaii. The prayer was answered. A shark attack and a surfing accident later, a limb was amputated.

We have no clue whatsoever about what the future holds. Therefore let us not pray for things that we believe will make us happy. Let us pray instead, that we always remain happy – no matter the circumstance.

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Meld and forget

Take all the gold mined in the entire world. Including gold bars, gold coins, gold nuggets, gold jewellery etc. Now melt and meld all of it into a cube. That cube would measure just 20 meters each side.

Take all our life’s worst problems. Including loved one passed away, job lost, got divorced, promotion denied, pet died, real-estate investment gone bust etc. etc. etc. All of these will fit into less than one calendar month of 20 days.

But in a life of 100 years or 36,500 days, we replay these 20 problem days over and over and over – so much so that all 36,500 days become problem days.

The problem is not with the problem days. The problem is in our minds. We must forget the past, and the future, and instead learn to embrace the now.

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Oh what a sacrifice!

So many things in this world are misunderstood and mistreated, simply because we do not take the pains to delve deep enough. Many (pseudo) intellectuals today criticise palmistry, astrology, vastu, ayurveda and various other sciences, and conveniently twist certain extracts to suit their arguments.

“How dare you even call these sciences?!”

Nothing wrong with criticism, as long as the critic has studied the subject in sufficient detail. Chances are, and my personal experience attests to it, that by the time the period of study is complete, even the staunchest disbelievers become converts.

An example of such misunderstanding? The ancient Hindu tradition of animal sacrifices in temples during fire offerings.

In his book on Purusha Suktam, Swami Tejomayananda beautifully clarifies. Animals were never killed at temples. Rather, they would be tied to a pole at the start, and as an offering, they would be set free, i.e. the owner of the animal would ‘sacrifice their ownership‘.

This is key. It is not about the object. Rather it is about relinquishing ownership of the object. The animal would then be free to roam around the village, and would be fed by all villagers with equal reverence. Such a beautiful concept, but misunderstood!

The ultimate goal is to sacrifice our egos. This is considered the pinnacle of self-realisation.

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Processing…

How I wish I had the time to read books. And the time to learn a foreign language. And the time to learn to play an instrument. But I just don’t get any time at all. This is person X.

Person X looks back at the last 1 week – he did not do any of the above. However he could have done 70 minutes worth of these at the very least. How? By simply taking out 10 minutes a day.

Surely he can take that much time out? Even if not in one shot, 5 minutes in the morning and 5 in the evening are possible? So 70 minutes is easily possible!

It all depends on how desperate we are. We must ask ourselves honestly. Do I really want to read a book, or learn a foreign language or learn to play an instrument?

Note that the focus here is on reading / learning, i.e the process, and not the outcomes, i.e. actually discussing a book after reading it, or speaking in a foreign tongue, or playing Fur Elise. The outcome is what we all love, but the process everyone despises.

Instead, let us love the process. Intensely. We will be surprised how time makes itself magically available. Even 700 minutes will be possible.

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The writing on the wall

True story. A 16 year old spoilt brat behaves in the worst manner possible. Being the only child, his mother had spared no opportunity to pamper him. She turns a blind eye to all his antics and tantrums. That he is egoistic and puerile, is instantly obvious to everyone around him.

True story. A 40 year old woman, with no independent income source, 2 young kids, and a husband in a low-paying job, is crazy about shopping for designers bags and shoes. Where they can barely make ends meet, the lady is focused on adding to her collection, much to the ire of her husband. The whole neighbourhood knows of her frivolous excesses.

True story. A 55-year old senior executive at a private technology firm, regularly mistreats his employees and team members. Many have quit. New replacements join despite the culture, but only for desperation of employment. The team morale is low, and productivity has dropped off a cliff.

True story. A 70 year old man, always treated by his wife as her living God, continues to treat his wife like his slave. No matter what she does to please him, he continues to express his disgust. Neighbours, well-wishers and visitors can quickly identify the problems with the thankless curmudgeon.

It is better to live a life where we discharge our duties smartly and effectively, rather than being deluded by our attachment. The primary duty of a mother is to discipline her children (for their own betterment), while a homemaker’s is to efficiently allocate resources to run the home. That of a leader is to enable his team to grow and a husband must support his family, beyond just money. These are but a few examples.

More often that not, the writing is on the wall. The signs are there for everyone to see. But many choose to close their eyes, and ignore the inevitable.

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Effective Prayer

How can prayer be made more effective?

  1. It is the emotion that counts. Not the amount of time spent praying.
  2. The words/mantras/chants may mean nothing to us, but the One who needs to understand, will.
  3. Having a 1-1 conversation with the higher power helps. In the language you are most comfortable in.
  4. Practise, leading to a habit, improves effectiveness – especially when it is most essential.
  5. Pray with family. As is said, “the family that prays together stays together”.
  6. Offer something in return. This is particularly useful for out-sized material wants (money, job, health of a loved one etc.). Promise in advance, that once fulfilled, you will do something meaningful – like feeding a number of homeless children, giving up your favourite food, donating a sizeable amount to a chosen charity etc. Remember, give big, get big (usually bigger!).
  7. Pray for others, significantly more than for yourself. You will find good things happen to others, and great things happen to you.

This is not about religion. We can even just pray in gratitude to the power that sustains life in this universe, and the spark within each of us. This is selfless, and perhaps the best kind of prayer.

We’ve all been in tough spots before, and life being what it is, we may find ourselves in similar positions again. Prayers do work. The proof is in the trying. Prepare to be amazed!

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Got lucky

I hate going to work. But I’m lucky I have a job.
I hate having to do the chores. But I’m lucky I have a home to live in.
I hate not having pizza for dinner. But I’m lucky I sleep on a full stomach.
I hate going to the gym. But I’m lucky I have a healthy body.
I hate having to listen to my boring sibling/parent/friend. But I’m lucky I have an amazing family.
I hate when the trains are late. But I’m lucky I have someplace to be.
I hate when my kids disturb me during work. But I’m lucky I became a parent.
I hate the slow WiFi in my local coffee shop. But I’m lucky I have a laptop and internet. And coffee.
I hate having to pick from a wardrobe full of clothes. But I’m lucky I have something to wear.
I hate that my online delivery got delayed. But I’m lucky I’m not the delivery person struggling to make ends meet.
I hate that I couldn’t spend more than 3 hours watching Netflix today. But I’m lucky I have good eyesight.

I hate most things. But honestly, I’m the luckiest person alive.

Aren’t we all?

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Buttermilk

Our emotional extremes rarely come out into the open.

We may go so far out of the way to nonchalantly help someone that it warmed their hearts forever. At an other time, we may have felt so disgusted at something that we wish secretly and momentarily that a perpetrator be banished from the face of this earth.

Each of us is a mix of good and evil. We know what society at large considers right and wrong. A simple check before any decisive action is “would I like it, if someone does the exact same thing to me?”

Sometimes things may get out of hand. But it is alright. The ancient Chinese had a system. They would never brand a person a liar. They would only point out that this person said a lie, on this date at that time.

Our mind must be strong and balanced. If something bad has happened, we cannot let it affect us forever. If a fly falls in milk, we throw the milk away. But if a fly falls in butter, we only scoop out a small section of it.

It is our choice, whether we let ourselves be polluted fully, or periodically purge out the muck. Butter up!

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Moving on

Did your child criticise you today?
Did your boss reprimand you today?
Did your partner lose his/her temper at you today?
Did your parent disapprove of what you did today?
Did your colleague just put you down in front of your team?
Did your good friend just stand you up?
Did your neighbour just insult you in front of others from your locality?

It’s OK. Anyone can be wrong. Such is life. Everything is not perfect.

We can leave behind what was told today, here and now. Let us not take it with us to tomorrow. Because the person speaking to us surely is not!

Too often, our wonderful brand new sunny days start weighed down by the dark burdens of past words. But we are infinitely more than just a collection of other people’s judgements.

We must move on, mentally and emotionally. This can happen by focusing on things we love to do. Playing an instrument, learning a language, reading a book. Anything.

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Doing a 10k

In his book Outliers: The Story of Success, Malcolm Gladwell talks about the 10,000 hour rule.

He says that if anyone can practise 10,000 hours worth of a skill in any field, that person would become an expert. Practise 10,000 hours of coding and you would become one of the best computer programmers in the world. Or 10,000 hours of piano practise and you would be ranked amongst the best pianists in the world. Presumably, 10,000 hours at my job, would make me indispensable, and likely to be very highly paid and sought after.

Assuming a 10-hour-per-day effort, this would translate to about 3 years.

There are several disparaging articles on this – about how the number 10,000 is wrong, and that it should be less (or more), and how deliberate practise is more important, and so on.

Completely agree, and completely disagree with all those. It doesn’t matter. The important thing is to get started, and then plough on, as much as possible.

Also, in our world today, material achievements abound aplenty. But these laurels mostly leave us feeling empty within.

What if we apply the 10,000 hour rule to spirituality and happiness as well? If we practise charity, practise generosity, practise smiling, practise giving, practise meditation, practise empathy and so on, we will only get better at it.

Let us put our 10,000 hours to good use.

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Old is gold?

We feel good when we help others in need. Especially the really destitute.

We may donate old clothes, or old books, an old cycle, old footwear, old blankets or any other items we would have used before.

This is truly fantastic! But what could be even more so?

Donating something brand new. Something that is not a leftover. Specifically buying a brand new dress and donating it. Or buying a brand new book and donating it. Buying a nice pair of shoes and donating it. With the box and wrapping!

We will not just feel good. We will feel great.

Let us think of it this way. If we were at the receiving end, would we prefer the old, or the new?

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Falling and Rising

The thermos flask I had filled warm milk in last night, had not been closed properly. When i woke up today morning, I accidentally kicked it. Being half asleep, I wasn’t nimble enough to pick up the fallen flask from the ground. 10 minutes later, when the full import of what happened hit me, it was too late. The milk was all over the floor, and the whole area was a sticky mess. It took me an extended bit of (unnecessary) effort to clean everything up.

There were three things I took away (apart from the standard “crying over spilt milk” 🙂 )

Do it right the first time.
If I had only closed the lid tightly (just 1 second more), it would have saved me 20 minutes later.
And if I can think 1 second more, before blurting out something to someone I can never take back. Or if I can do something (like a meaningless office task or home chore that I don’t like) in 1 minute and move on, instead of not doing it and thinking about it for the next hour or more.

Messes happen.
But the cleanup can be much easier if we rush to stem the flow.
It could be picking up a fallen container quickly, or making amends with someone quickly, or apologising for a mistake quickly.

Stand back up to grow.
The flask fell, but that has not diminished its capacity to store more liquid tonight. Far too often, we hit the floor but never stand back up fully. Unlike the finite flask, we can actually grow into bigger and better. But we need to stand back up.

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Do you / did you

  • live on the pavement, with no roof over your head?
  • walk 50 kilometres daily in search of water?
  • skip 1 or more meals a day because you don’t have the money for it?
  • have no formal education because your folks couldn’t afford it?
  • grow up as an orphan in an orphanage a substantial part of your early life?
  • test positive for a terminal illness?
  • enter this world with a devastating physical disability?
  • immigrate to another country in an overcrowded boat with no possessions whatsoever?
  • live in the centre of a war zone with no visibility of survival?

No?

Then why are we sad today?

Even many of those who experience such adversities manage to be happy.

Be forever happy now!

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Alakazam! Hocus Pocus! Abracadabra!

Who wants to see some magic? All hands up I see?

We all want miracles in our lives. But we often look in the wrong places – despite them being all around us.

Just imagine.
A white seed gets mixed with brown soil, translucent water and yellow sunlight to become a pink flower!
A pink organ that was once smaller than a droplet, pumps red fluid throughout the body, for 100 years non-stop!
A brown cow eats green grass and gives white milk!

Aren’t these miracles? They absolutely are!

For such ‘mundane’ miracles, we just need to stop being self-obsessed and look at and observe the world around us.

My own views have changed over the years. Miracles are not about levitation or flying or even these worldly phenomena we have gotten so used to.

A really really really hard thing to change, is someone’s thinking and thereby life, for the better. My Guru did exactly this to me, and improved my life, and the lives of many around me, in unimaginable ways. Such are the true miracles.

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The good, bad and holy

You might have been going through a very tough time. A well-wisher comes up and says to you “This too shall pass”. You’ve heard this a 1000 times before, and don’t like it at all. “Does he even know how grave my problems are right now?”

Let us do one thing. Let’s all create a common whatsapp group. And let’s all post all our problems there. Anyone who wishes, can take all your problems, and in return give all their problems to you. What do you think will be the result of this exercise?

It is highly likely that you will not find even a single taker. Because while our own problems are bad enough that we think only gloom and doom, when we look at others, our problems become meaningless. But we never look at other people’s problems. We only stare in amazement and envy at their growing list of followers and number of likes to their seemingly perfect online avatars.

Life may be cynical. But it is also cyclical. Good things don’t last forever. Because they lead to complacency which then brings downfall. Bad things too don’t last forever. Because having our backs-to-the-wall brings opportunities we would otherwise ignore. The cycle is only broken if one decides to quit midway. But that is too extreme and unwarranted.

It is best to take both the good and the bad with a pinch, nay bucket of salt.

Diving deeper, there is no good or bad. These are only nebulous extremes on a sliding scale of apparent quality created by the mind. Something to ponder upon.

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What’s in it for me? “You!”

Most people are wired to act only if there is a juicy answer to “What’s in it for me?”

I’ll donate two million to so-and-so University, if you give my daughter an admission there. I’ll work weekends, if i have visibility of a promotion. I’ll babysit your kids if you can give me your Xbox for the weekend. Quid pro quo.

“What’s in it for me?” is important for survival no doubt, in the materialistic and capitalistic world we live in.

But the real magic happens when we do things, despite the answer to “What’s in it for me?” being “Nothing”.

Such as? Maybe sending an old friend a bestselling book as a surprise. Or cooking a meal for your neighbour. Or learning and playing/singing a song for your favourite teacher. Or maybe just taking the time out to visit someone elder to you – who meant a lot to you in your childhood – but who you now haven’t seen in ages. There are some easy ones too – praise someone in public (remember the LAP currency?), donate some clothes or be an agony aunt/uncle (i.e. listen).

If every single interaction we have – with friends, family and colleagues could be this way, we will find:
a) amazing inner satisfaction which leads to peace which in turn leads to long lasting happiness, and
b) that we become the most likeable and remembered person amongst all

Even if this might initially seem like a stretch, we can surely start with just one such deliberate interaction every day. Doing something 100% for the other person, with no expectations whatsoever.

Even if the last many decades of our lives may have been relatively inconsequential to others, taking on this exercise can mean that in one year from today, you will have 365 die-hard fans – who will not just thank you, but always think of you and bless you!

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Just starting to pray

When we just start to pray to get time off for our fourth vacation of the year
Let us pray instead for the front-line healthcare workers that get no time off in a pandemic

When we just start to pray for more time to spend with a loved one
Let us pray instead for the soldiers that keep us safe with no guarantee of a return to their own families

When we just start to pray for a bigger and better house for ourselves
Let us pray instead for the destitute living on the pavement

When we just start to pray for a better education or degree
Let us pray instead for that underpaid teacher in primary school to whom we owe much of our success

When we just start to pray for a promotion or bonus at work
Let us pray instead for the family that lost its sole breadwinner

When we get through all these prayers
We will have forgotten everything we wanted
All our troubles will melt away
And we will be left only with gratitude for everything we have

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Report Card: E for Everyone

We are all constantly chasing material progress. And we understand progress. Two houses are better than one, and two million bucks is better than one million.

But what of spiritual progress? Is there a report card?

According to Swami Tejomayananda, there are only two questions one must answer when evaluating one’s own spiritual progress.

  1. How much does everyone want to be in my company?
  2. How much do I want to be in the company of everyone?

Note, that this is everyone. Not a cherry picked group of friends or family members or colleagues that we have a predilection for. Or a specific set of people we detest and wish to avoid at all costs.

Spirituality is about training the mind to accept and enjoy everyone and everything as they are. Even that nosy bothersome fellow at work, or that pesky old neighbour next door, and also that cranky boss who calls you up on the weekends for extra work.

If we are making progress spiritually, we will be courting inner peace, and the answers to 1 and 2 would be ‘very much’, if not more.

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Social mediyuck

Many social media posts show off beautiful photos of food.
Let us remember, a majority of the people on our planet go to bed empty stomach unable to afford a meal.

Many social media posts show off amazing travel stories spanning 40/50/60+ countries.
Let us remember, many people world over have to painfully walk several miles daily just to get drinking water.

Many social media posts show off happy faces and smiling families.
Let us remember, many viewers just recently lost a loved one, or two.

Many social media posts show off brand new college / university degrees and glamorous jobs.
Let us remember, plenty never had the privilege of education, while others just lost their jobs.

Many social media posts show off the silliest of complaints (less cheese in my pizza; no hand towel in my room).
Let us remember, many are forced into the worst of jobs, for survival, and have no complaints box.

Why do we have a compulsive obsessive need to show off our status to the world?
Let us remember, it is only natural for the have-nots to reflect jealousy, sadness and resentment.

Are these the feelings we really wish to invoke in others? Can we not happily enjoy what we have – without insensitively rubbing it in other peoples’ faces?

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The cleanse

A scraggy and scruffy man knocked on the door every weekend. His ask? A few morsels of food for his workday.

His task was unenviable, perhaps even pitiable. Cleaning all the public toilets and septic tanks within his catchment area.

The lady at the door would oblige. Always providing him a decent meal. And also giving him some money to take care of his daughter’s education.

It became fairly obvious that some of this money was being used by him to buy cheap alcohol and get intoxicated.

While others objected with the usual, “He’s not putting the money to good use!”, the lady was firm in her decision to continue her dole outs.

Her rationale? “It is so difficult to even clean one’s own toilet. Here is a man who has to clean 100s of toilets, and that too of others. It is his job yes, but at least he’s doing it well. Maybe the alcohol gets him into a state where he is at least partially unaffected by the stench.”

It is easy to think for ourselves, but often impossible to put ourselves in other’s shoes.

The lady was my wife’s mother. She passed too early. But her life’s actions continue to inspire and live on.

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Wax on, wax off

In one of my favourite movies The Karate Kid, Daniel comes to Mr. Miyagi to learn martial arts. The master however starts him off on seemingly meaningless chores – like waxing his car (a scene famously called ‘wax on, wax off’), sweeping the floor and painting his house. The student is miffed, what with no connection between karate and these actions. Later on though, he benefits from these repeated actions, having built muscle memory and these translating into excellent karate moves!

Yes this might be Hollywood hyperbole, but there is an important lesson for us.

We are always sure that we know best – for ourselves and those around us. And we think there is only one specific path that leads to the result we seek. So much so that we often stop noticing the signs and subtle hints the world gives us. After a break-up, friends come up and say, “Ya I was going to warn you about that guy – I never felt comfortable around him.” Or after being laid-off, “Hey, I always felt that company was shady – something just didn’t add up.”

The reason we do not catch on, is because our egos are so very inflated. We only hear what we want to. We must surrender the ego, but smartly.

We cannot be foolishly surrendering the ego to those who have no interest in our well being. Because we would then become a doormat and let the whole world trample upon us.

Instead, it would be instantly beneficial to surrender one’s ego to a master, a guru, to God, or to a higher power. This will allow the true divinity inside each one of us to come to the fore.

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You’ve nailed it!

Two prosperous neighbouring kingdoms were ruled by two friendly but competitive kings. One day, one of them decided to renounce the world and lead life as a saint. Hearing this, the other king also decided to follow suit.

They each went their own way, with no possessions more than the ochre robes they were wearing. 20 years of hermit-life later, they simultaneously chanced upon a serene river. Both of them decided to take bath there at the same time.

There was only 1 tree in sight with only 1 nail on it, where they could hang their clothes. Both the king-saints started bickering over the ownership of that nail.

An old woman came by and said “Look and learn from the two great kings of these nearby kingdoms – they had renounced everything. And here you two fools are fighting over a silly nail!”

It doesn’t matter if one has physical possessions or not.

True renunciation happens only in the mind.

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A tale of two sitys

The Indian ‘thaali’ is a lovely sumptuous meal. Rice and roti (bread) are served on a large plate, inside which smaller cups pack a variety of items. When prepared well, the thaali can be as nutritious as it is diverse.

But there is a catch to this diversity. We cannot pick and choose the items we are served. A thaali by default comes with a set menu of items only.

Life is like a thaali.

Some events leave a sour taste in our mouths, while others can leave us drooling for second servings. The salty and spicy days make way for the sweet finale. And so the cycle continues.

Just like we cannot eat only dessert for all our meals forever, having only (seemingly) positive outcomes in life isn’t ideal either.

Why? Because if we are to learn and grow, we need adversity. Let us learn to embrace it.

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The Life of P.I.

Pseudo Intellectuals.

We all know who they are. They innocuously troll and post their free-for-all opinions on pretty much every single discussion item in public view. Armed with educational degrees from the great University of Twitter and / or the College of Whatsapp, they are on a quest to rule the world from atop their armchair thrones.

We may not like them. But what if we are one of them? Not on social media. But in social life. Or even in home life or work life. How many times have we passed a comment on someone, only to realise we didn’t care to learn the the complete picture?

We are on the path of mental transformation aren’t we? In which case, it is more about our thoughts and less about our words and deeds.

Everyone is wired differently. Different people have different opinions. And they have a right to have them as well.

The problem comes when we want to assert our influence on everyone else. Wanting to encroach on others is not the same as not letting others encroach unto us.

The latter is fine, the former is avoidable. Only then can inner peace prevail.

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finite is finito

We are all running after finite things.

It might be a pile of money, a CxO title, ownership of a specific car or a mansion with a golf course and so on. There are some things that that pile of money may not be able buy – such as health or meaningful relationships. The CxO title (or any other title) too may have limitations, working well within an organisation or group, but not beyond. As any retiree would tell us, the perks stop with the title.

Can we ever be satiated then with finite acquisitions? Never. And that is simply why we are never happy. No amount of ‘enough’ is ever enough.

Spirituality teaches us to directly seek the infinite. But where is this infinite? Is this just mumbo-jumbo?

No. This infinite is manifested in all of creation. If we can see everything and everyone as part of our core being, but manifested in different forms, then we are on the right path.

But does this logic imply we must invite a murderer home? Not at all. Context is important, and foolishness must be avoided. If there is no life, then there cannot be spirituality or happiness. However, we can surely empathise and appreciate that extreme circumstances may force people to do extreme things.

Likewise, we all have people we cannot get along with. And we know others who prefer to avoid us. Can we consciously and objectively bridge these gaps? Can we train our minds to be happy in spite of the company of such people?

Any efforts in this direction are not for the benefit of said people. They are purely for us – for our own inner transformation. Because with each step of this transformation, we will progress closer to the infinite.

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The other side

In the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey tells the story of man who enters a subway train with his 2 young kids. The 2 little scoundrels were creating such a racket, but the father had just shut his eyes, seemingly oblivious to the discomfort being caused to other passengers. “What poor parenting”, is the first thought that comes to mind. The author soon realises that the man had just lost his wife to a deadly disease and that they were returning home from the hospital. What an immediate transformation in perspective!

A math teacher gave a child two chocolates and asked how many she had. The child replied “three”. The teacher was angry, only to realise later the child already had 1 chocolate in her pocket!

A supremely successful businessman I know, today seems to have life all nice and dandy. But I learned recently that his mother passed away when he was very young. A few days later, his dad passed away as well, grief struck at the loss of his best friend.

But we rarely know the ‘other’ side, isn’t it?

Dale Carnegie in his iconic bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People, says that the best (and perhaps only) way to get people to like you, is to take a genuine interest in people and to listen to them with rapt attention.

What golden and eye-opening advice! We do not need an expensive degree or a big title or a lot of money. On the contrary, following these principles, will automatically bring all of these and more.

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The waverer

‘Sama’, an ancient word in the language called Sanskrit, refers to equal, match or plain. It is also very close to the English word ‘same’.

Hindu scriptures often talk of mind control through ‘sama’. Such as remaining mentally balanced or ‘sama’ – in the face of both success and failure. Both pleasure or pain. Both richness or poverty. And so on, for other such pairs of opposites.

Surely this is easier said than done.

Experience tells us that we prefer happiness to sorrow. ‘Good’ events, like having a shiny new car or a good bonus, make us happy. And we want more of these things. Whereas ‘bad’ events, like being stuck with a rickety old excuse for a car, or a so-close-but-i-missed-it promotion, leave us dejected.

But can we say with 100% conviction that what makes us happy momentarily, is what we seek in permanence? Because that shiny new car might be vandalised as it stands out among other older cars in the neighbourhood. Or that missed promotion might make one frustrated enough to quit their job and find their life’s calling in a unicorn- startup.

There is no such thing as good or bad. It is just our mind telling us so, based on its own assessment at that particular point in time. We all know how volatile our minds can be – feeling one way now, and completely opposite a few seconds later.

Why then do we leave the choice of being happy or joyful to such a wavering mind?

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Discounting my self-worth

President Kennedy on a visit to NASA asked a sweeper what he was doing. The sweeper said, “Sir, I’m going to put a man on the moon!”

I asked my friend who is a very successful executive at one of the world’s top management consulting firms what she was doing. She said “Oh, I’m doing the same crap again – making power point slides and creating excel sheets.”

Now i’m not President Kennedy and my friend is certainly not a sweeper (albeit a weeper!). A lot of us are guilty of disparaging our own work. We look at others with envy and ourselves with disgust.

But the following cannot be emphasised enough. Every single person counts. You count. I count. All of us count. However small and insignificant it might seem. Just like the butterfly’s wing flaps that could have implications for a tornado someplace else. And if someone cannot appreciate this, then it is their problem.

And while small is important, It doesn’t mean that we should always stay that way and never aim high. Quite the contrary. We should keep the loftiest goals possible. And do everything possible to attain them.

Let us not entertain thoughts like “Oh, but no one is indispensable, so I’m replaceable”, or “the show will anyway go on, so I have no value” etc. etc. etc. Because that logic is used for putting a ceiling on someone’s ego. Not here in the pursuit of success!

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Food for thought

We feed the birds and the animals near our house every day.

The food is typically some biscuits, seeds, rice or rusks and the like.

Several birds, dogs, cats and squirrels come up for their fill at different times of the day.

Among many things, there is one thing I always admire about them.

No single bird or animal will ever take all of the food we put out for them.

They always leave behind something for the next in line.

They just never hoard.

What do we have to say about us human beings though?

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The greatest discovery of all-time

Károly Takács, at 28, was Hungary’s top pistol shooter. He was the favourite to win gold at the 1940 Tokyo Olympic Games. But a grenade accidentally exploded and blew away his right hand – the shooting hand. He wallowed in self-pity, right? Nope, not Károly! He just focused on training his left hand instead! He went on to win golds in the next two Olympics, shooting with his left. Unbelievable? Yes, but true. Imagine how hard it would have been to be in his shoes.

Alibaba founder Jack Ma was rejected by Harvard University 10 times, and also by several jobs including KFC. Stephen King’s first novel Carrie was rejected by 30 publishers before being picked up. Wilma Rudolph – the ‘fastest woman on earth’ in her time – wore a leg brace, suffered infantile paralysis but later won 3 Olympic golds. Edison failed 3000 times before making the first light bulb.

And us? No, we are too scared to fail, and even more scared to try! We feel we bear the burden of the earth on our heads. That a single misstep would cause everyone to take notice, and curse us into oblivion. We are so focused on ourselves and our shortcomings that we never realise one thing. That everyone is so immersed in themselves that they do not really care about us!

Give this a thought – do you remember what clothes your friends and families wore 2 weeks ago? 1 week ago? 3 days ago? Or what kind of bags they were carrying? Or what they said? Hardly! The world has moved on, but we stay rooted to that one insult someone threw at us…way back in kindergarten!

Oprah Winfrey said “The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” There is even a book called Attitude is Everything! We would still be in darkness if Edison had stopped after the first try, or even the 2,999th. We can never give up – because we each might be the creators of a lasting legacy for future generations to come. It is the least we can do to repay our ancestors – for giving us the tools and technologies we are blessed with today.

It is human nature to be condescending to others, and so others will continue to sneer and laugh. But we need to concern ourselves with only our own attitude – the right attitude. Because even the impossible then becomes possible.

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Lap it all up

We are all multi-billionaires. Yes we are.

In the currency of LAP. Lavish Appreciation and Praise.

Not only do we have this currency in abundance, but we can also summon it at will.

Think back to how amazing you and your day felt when somebody randomly came up to you, and appreciated your work, praised your singing, commended your speech or complimented your looks.

The return on this currency is infinite. Because while it costs nothing, try using this currency on those around you, and see their reactions. You will leave a wonderful and lasting impression.

This currency can win you things that even real money cannot buy. Such as the hearts of people. In fact, you can wrap the whole world around your little finger!

Do try it out. I guarantee that you will be noticed, and you will be remembered. For all the good reasons.

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The package of imperfections

Man is a social animal. But being in the company of others, can often dent one’s self confidence.

You may have got into Harvard/Yale/Stanford, only to realise how much more brilliant than you some students are. You may have picked up the guitar at 30 or 50, only to realise YouTube is full of child prodigies. You may think you sing well, but find out your neighbour’s kid just got selected to The Voice / Idol. You may be good at working your excel sheets, only to realise the new kids on the block also code VBA and Python with Excel. You have been working on your foreign language skills the last 2 years, when an ultra-learner does an immersion program for 6 months and gets hired as an interpreter. You may have been taking baking classes the last many years, but the neighbour that recently moved in sets up shop and sells the most delicious cakes.

None of this is inherently bad, until it gets to you. The feeling that you are losing the race. The feeling that everyone is better than you. The feeling that you are incompetent. The negatives can spiral fast.

What to do? Simple. Forget perfection. Aim for diversity. And combine them skills all into one package – you! I call this the Mosaic Man.

You may not be the best in each of the things you do. But as a package – Harvard + guitarist + singer + excel noob + French speaker + baking-lover —> there is only 1 you!

We each must list down our skills, and string them together into a package. No packages in the world are exactly alike – with the same background, life experiences, skills and ambitions. Therefore our packages are unique, and awesome.

We can and must also keep adding to our skills package. Because variety is the spice of life. Go create your own mosaic!

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The number and the excuse

There is a constant feeling of despair amongst today’s youth. Quick success is on everyone’s minds. Fear of failure looms large. It is as though life is already over. But nothing could be further from the truth.

Srila Prabhupad, the world-renowned founder of ISKCON, got on a cargo boat from India to America, as the lone passenger. He suffered two heart attacks en-route. He had only 7 US$ worth of Indian rupees, and not one friend or acquaintance in a completely new country. Did I mention he was 69 years old?!

Colonel Sanders founded KFC at 65, after he got his first social security paycheck of just 99$ and decided he had to change his life. Nelson Mandela became President of South Africa at age 75. Noah Webster completed his English dictionary at the age of 66. Teiichi Igarashi climbed Mt. Fuji when he touched 100. Instagram today routinely has videos and photos of septuagenarians and octogenarians having enviably fit bodies, doing yoga poses a 20-year old would struggle to do.

These are just a few examples. Go ahead and google. You’ll find 1000s and 1000s of others.

Age is only a number at best, and an excuse at worst. And nobody likes excuses.

Life is over only when we think it is. And that can be today, or at 100. Let us choose well.

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You know nothing of my pitiable condition.

You just lost your job in this pandemic. Yes the same dream job that you struggled for many years to get. It paid well. And the career path actually seemed to be looking right up. Until today morning, when the boss gave you the bad news. Your friend comes up to you. The one who still has a job. And has been having a great career – much better than yours. He tries to console you. “You know buddy, life can be tough sometimes. But don’t despair. You’re stronger than this. You’ll get through it. Just seek and tap in to the happiness within. Things will work out. Everything will be fine.”

You think to yourself. “He hasn’t lost his job. He doesn’t have to support a family with no monthly paycheck. He can lecture me. So easy to be in his shoes! And what happiness within? I’m a train-wreck and a loser, and I don’t know how I’ll ever pick myself up from this ever again. There ain’t no happiness here!”

Haven’t we all been in position of weakness at some point? Maybe after losing a job. Or a loved one. Or failed an exam. Or something else.

It may be true that the happiness we seek lies within. But the time to sow the seed, is not on the day of the harvest. Building mental and spiritual strength requires time and effort. If we didn’t get around to this 5 or 10 or 15 years ago, that’s fine.

But the next best time, is now. Before, a problem hits us. Because life tends to be cyclical. If things are going great, it is likely that may not remain forever. And if things seem desolate, that too, will pass. Meditation, yoga, pranayama, spiritual discourses and others are imperative. But we must build the roof, before the rains, not when the hurricane is overhead.

Let us start today. So that when someone comes up telling us to ‘seek the happiness within’, we are actually able to make use of the advice. Even though by then, we may not need it.

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King of the world

Our beloved mother earth is rotating on its axis at an gut-wrenching speed of 1,656 km/h. Not just rotating, but at an angle too! With some of us on the sides, some at the top and some at the bottom. Try going 1/10th of that speed, in a merry-go-round – without feeling the gut wrench!

The earth is also moving at a ridiculous speed of 129,600 km/h around the sun. The sun itself (and the solar system) orbits the milky way galaxy at a mind-boggling speed of 828,000 km/h.

But we never feel an iota of this mad rush of the heavenly bodies towards who-knows-where.

Science can explain a lot of these phenomena, but we have no idea about why they happen this way in the first place.

Even at the speed of light, it would take us a 100,000 years to cross over the milky way. And some estimates peg the number of galaxies in our universe to be around 2 trillion. And then apparently there are other universes…

Even to the person with the largest and most inflated ego, these observable facts would lucidly remind them how little control really rests in their hands.

From birth unto death, we don’t spare a single chance to impress our superiority over others. Ironic, that we have created nothing here, but behave as owners.

Yet the true Creator doesn’t boast or gloat, never once even making an appearance. Something to learn perhaps.

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learn – earn – yearn

In school and college, it was all about:

  1. winning alone
  2. defeating others
  3. getting the best job interviews, and
  4. bagging the highest paid offer

In the workplace, realisation dawns, that life is about:

  1. winning together
  2. working with others
  3. the ‘best’ job being but a mirage in the mind, and
  4. money being there, but yet never enough

We spend the first quarter of our lives learning how to earn a living. Then we spend next two quarters earning that living. And the last quarter, yearning for whatever was left out.

But we never really live, because we are always focused on the ‘me and the my’, instead of the ‘we and the why’.

‘We’ for inclusivity. And ‘why’ for clarity – why do we have so many things, yet feel empty?

In this age of excesses, less is more. And it comes from more austerity, more self-sacrifice and more charity.

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Here is a 10,000 year old spiritual secret!

Thank you for paying the 100 dollar fee. Here is your secret mantra. Do NOT share it with anyone. Repeat it 10,000 times every day for 1 month. You will get whatever you want, guaranteed.

“Nommm Oleem Nleem Sring Eringaa Ninpaa Szzuuupaaa Elaraaum”

Exciting? Want to try it?

Spirituality is way too often associated with voodoo and mumbo jumbo and the arcane. For good reason though. Because the good ol’, and the plain and simple, just won’t sell.

We can wear a monk’s robes and go to the Himalayas to meditate. But if the mind and senses aren’t under control, mosquito bites will be just as irritating there, as they are right here at home.

What then is spirituality in its essence? A few ideas:

  1. Living only in the now, forever!
  2. Accepting and revelling in the circumstances, however hard that might be.
  3. Not just living in, but also embracing, uncertainty.
  4. Living in the world, without being affected by it (which means not worrying about the neighbour who has a bigger house and a better car!).
  5. Maintaining a balance, in everything.
  6. Our minds do not control us, we control our minds. Which means consciously putting 1/2/3/4/5 into practise.

If we do this, then we need no mumbo jumbo. No 100$ fees. No first letters of the above mantra.

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Smash, I mean trash that snooze button!

Waking up early is awesome.

So say successful CEOs, entrepreneurs and everyone in between. There’s plenty of books that advocate this too.

Personally, I love the rush from getting up early. The extra undisturbed hours to do productive work more efficiently, whether you use it for exercise or meditation or studying (or all of these combined!) – is just too good to miss out on.

But practising it regularly? Phew, easier said than done!

For one, with the recommended 7 to 8 hours of sleep, one would have to hit the sack at around 9.30 am. “Say what?! But that’s when I start cooking my dinner!”…said a lot of earthlings.

Well it’s time to change up a few things. We could start off, by sleeping and waking up 5 or 10 minutes earlier than our usual time every day. And a week later, 5 to 10 minutes before that. And so on till our desired target is hit.

How about the mental power needed to withstand this change? One pro tip from India’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi – he doesn’t allow his mind to get in the way at all. At 5 am, irrespective of which timezone he is in, he just bounces off the bed, giving no chance whatsoever for his mind to coax him back to sleep “for just a few more minutes pretty pleaaassseee”

Also, we think changing our sleep schedule is difficult. But we are actually masters at it, having each done it time and again, when travelling abroad, and across many timezones too. Let us think of this as a one-time travel to a timezone that is x hour(s) ahead! (x = current waking time minus 5 am).

Do share your thoughts, tips and experiences in the comments section below!

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Enjoy the Unjoy

Maybe you’re stuck in the worst job, with the worst boss. Or maybe you’re stuck in the worst relationship, with the worst partner. Or stuck with the worst degree, in the worst college.

The circumstances we find ourselves in right now may be hard to change immediately.

The tools we are given must be accepted. But the design we create with those tools is on us. And in the process, we may chance upon better tools as well.

How can we do this? Only by loving and enjoying what we are already doing, irrespective of what we are doing. We must find the positives, even if only temporary. There is no other way.

But I don’t enjoy my job, you say? No one does. Given a choice, most people would prefer to become a couch potato, or maybe ‘find their passion’. Whatever that goose chase is about!

Interestingly, the entire of the Bhagavad Gita never once mentions whether one should be in this profession or that. But only about how to do the work associated with any profession.

It helps if we accept that the circumstances in a way stem from our own past karmic doing, from this life or before. It helps because we can begin to sow the seeds for better future circumstances.

If we anyway have to do our jobs, deal with our partners, study what we are studying – we might as well do it happily. Because being unhappy about it will only increase anxiety. Our positive energies will dissipate. This will prevent us from spending time on finding and building toward new circumstances quickly – that dream job at Google, that dream partner from Hollywood, that dream Harvard MBA.

The future can certainly be changed. Dreams can surely materialise. But only if we begin to enjoy the now, now.

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It’s (not) only words

“It’s only words and words are all I have to take your heart away…” crooned boy-band heartthrobs Boyzone back in the 90s. And even before that, Rita Coolidge sang the same words in the 70s, preceded by the Bee Gees in the 60s. That is indeed a while back. But the import is not lost.

While the original connotation was romantic, there are practical takeaways for us. The words we use can have a huge bearing on those around us. Especially the words used when one is irate. And I’m certainly guilty of this.

Picture this. A neighbour greets you:

“Hey – it is so good to see you today after a long time – especially during your morning walk! Have a wonderful day”

versus

“Hey – Where have you been?! You go for morning walks? I’ve never seen you at this time before.”

A simple morning greeting, can have profound differences on the other person’s mood and day. As the recipient of the second version above, my impulsive thought was – “Am I being accused?”

There are 2 learnings here for me:

  1. Use words with care. They are like a bag of feathers being released into the wind. Once gone, it is hard to bring back.
  2. Stay unperturbed about the words others use. We cannot control others. But we can control how we react to them.

‘1’ helps us be better human beings amid others. ‘2’ helps us be better human beings despite others.

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Where does the karma go?

Every action we perform, accrues karma. Logged and timestamped in an invisible journal in an unknown medium. What we sow, so we reap. Maybe in this life, maybe in another.

We may not get it back the exact same way. Just like we may never get back the very same 100$ bill that we once deposited, from an ATM machine. But we will surely get 100$.

Vedanta teaches us that a liberated soul accrues no karma.

So what then, happens to the karma from his actions, if it doesn’t go to him?

The wise say that the good karma goes to such a person’s followers and disciples. While the bad karma goes to his naysayers.

How do we use this information? Well, we know appearances can be deceptive. So we may never know who is at what stage of spiritual evolution.

It would hence be prudent (and practical) to avoid being judgemental, argumentative or resentful, of anybody.

We are barely surviving our own bad karma. Why take on additional burden?

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The 8 hour grab

What all did we accomplish in the last 24 hours?

Yesterday I slept 8 hours, worked 8 hours, ate my meals 1 hour, read a book 1 hour, practised piano 1 hour, exercised 1 hour, learned a new skill for 30 mins, meditated for 30 mins, ablutions 30 mins, blogging 30 mins, TV/entertainment/catching up with friends 1 hour, commuting 1 hour.

versus

Yesterday I slept 5 hours, worked 8 hours, ate my meals 1 hour, felt lazy and procrastinated 1 hour, practised piano 15 mins, daydreamed 45 mins, stressed about something 1 hour, planned (my future) 30 mins, re-planned 30 mins, ablutions 30 mins, worried 30 mins, TV/entertainment/catching up with friends 1 hour, commuting 1 hour, and the other 3 hours I can’t figure out where it disappeared.

How do our typical days look like? How much is slipping through the cracks? Is 8 hours of non-work non-sleep time every single day not more than adequate for bettering ourselves?

Time is indifferent to the experiencer.

The control rests squarely in our hands. But only if we have grabbed it.

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I’m tired of this

Scene 1: You are driving home from work. Tired. Really Really Tired. Your boss calls you. “Hey, that client presentation I asked you to finish. It’s too long. Do it again, pronto.” You reach home, and shout at the kids, scowl at the wife, eat dinner in silence and go to bed grumbling.

Scene 2: You are driving home from work. Tired. Really Really Tired. Your boss calls you. “Hey, you did really good this year, I’m considering you for a fast track promotion” You reach home, you hug the kids and the wife, take them out to a nice dinner and come back home and watch a movie.

Notice how the tiredness (something physical) vanished completely, as soon as there was something good to look forward to (something emotional)?

We think we are incapable of many things. But the reality is that we are capable of anything. More often than not though, we are not incentivised enough for going the extra mile. This prevents us from giving our best and limits our potential.

We can stay motivated and incentivized forever though, if instead of waiting for praise (that rarely comes) from others, we give ourselves a few pats on our backs. It is self-fulfilling in nature – because being happy with ourselves, will make others happy with us. And the cycle will propagate.

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I’m confident. Does that make me egoistic?

  • Self confidence: I can do this.
  • Ego: Only I can do this.
  • Self confidence: This is right.
  • Ego: I am right.
  • Self confidence: This is beneficial to many, including me.
  • Ego: This is beneficial to me alone.
  • Self confidence: My thoughts are more important than my body.
  • Ego: My body is more important than my thoughts.
  • Self confidence: Driven by gratitude of what already is.
  • Ego: Driven by fear of what may be.

Which one would you prefer in others? Which one would you prefer for yourself?

If our focus is on the well-being of others, we need not worry about such definitions.

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Lifelong vacation

Oh that awesome vacation I had planned. Pristine beaches. Stunning landscapes. Yummy food. Alas, COVID19 threw my plans into disarray. Surely a lot of us have heard of or experienced this in the last few months.

We all love vacations.

Especially the first 2 of the 5 days. Aren’t they just the best!

Day 3 is spent partially enjoying, and partially thinking about getting back to work. Day 4 has a lot more office thoughts, and lot less vacation. Day 5 is practically a write-off.

Why are only days 1 and 2 the best?

Because that is when we are completely immersed in the moment. There is no thinking about anything else.

But downhill begins therefrom.

What if we could live every single day like day 1 of our vacations? Not think one minute about the future or one minute about the past. But to consciously train our minds to live in the now.

Difficult? Perhaps. But it took us ~50,000 attempts to sit upright as kids or learn to speak or learn to put food in our mouths. All very difficult tasks for a toddler. We did not give up then. We would likely need way lesser attempts now.

A lifelong vacation beckons.

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IDOS – Inside Divine Outside Showtime!

Relationships are complicated.

Not just girlfriend-boyfriend or husband-wife. But all of them! Even boss-employee, brother-sister, brother-brother, sister-sister, and / or among colleagues, parents, siblings, friends, cousins, family members – you name it.

We may do more than our bit, and yet uncover that the other person doesn’t understand our viewpoint or is taking us for a ride. Should we never ask for a pay raise because we prefer to live frugally? Should we always complete work assignments for colleagues, filling in for their tardiness? Should we always let an employee off the hook because of a list of excuses? Should we keep on lending to a friend who’s wasteful borrowing and spending habits appear to have no end in sight?

Being the ‘good people’ – we may just accept our fate and take it on the chin every single time. But we live in a dog-eat-dog world, and we must recognise this. It is important to be nice. But more important to tread each step with common sense.

Is there a simple principle we can use? Sure is!

We can be IDOS, i.e. Inside Divine, Outside Showtime!

We can internally think nice peaceful thoughts, and not intend any malice to the other person. However, it is important to let the other person know our true feelings, while also doing some amount of theatre (aka showtime!) while at it. How else would the other person comprehend what you are going through?

Remember, only the crying baby gets the milk!

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Full steam ahead!

Robert Iger, the ex-CEO of Disney Inc. has a fascinating story in his memoir – The Ride of a Lifetime. After the ouster of the company’s previous Chairman and CEO, the Board announce they will look at possible candidates. Mr. Iger, the best contender for the job, was worried about how he should neither look good at the expense of his ex-boss’ mistakes, nor come across as diffident, something a new CEO would never be selected for.

Which is when a political consultant and branding expert reaches out to mentor him. His advice is not new, yet it is nothing short of golden. He said that Mr. Iger need not rehash the past, and defend or criticize anyone.

Instead, he had to think forward and move forward, definitively.

We are often in similar positions, seemingly handcuffed by things either we did or others did in the past. It doesn’t have to be that way, as long as we decide that history is…history!

Nobody likes someone forever wallowing in the past. What has happened cannot be undone. But in the future lies a great realm of possibility.

We must unshackle ourselves from the past and embrace the uncertainty. Maybe not because we want to. But because there is no other way. At least we can attempt to enjoy the time ahead!

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In others’ shoes

In his 2014 book Hit Refresh, Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella talks about his penchant for empathy.

Many years ago at an interview, the interviewer asked him what he would do if he came across a 3 month old baby lying on the street wailing. Mr. Nadella immediately said he would call 911, and the police, and an ambulance, and child care services among other things.

The interviewer told him “Satya, it is a baby, you could just pick it up and cradle it in your arms!”

Hardly something that might strike us isn’t it? What if we could use such empathy in our day to day interactions? We would appreciate others’ motivations and circumstances before flying off the handle.

And none of this is for the other person. Being empathetic will only help us – by retaining control over both, the mind, as well as the tongue.

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Unlonely

When we are by ourselves, we tend to think negative, project a dystopian future, and find faults in our various imperfections.

Wish I was thin or had a better skin or a better chin. Or was taller, and muscular. Or shorter and less muscular. There is no end to this downward spiral.

Researchers recently found that loneliness is as lethal as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

One may physically be in the midst of people, and yet lead a lonely life. Think celebrities, who are inundated by fans (and money) and still suffer from depression. How do we solve this?

Maybe we can attempt to connect with others more. It wouldn’t hurt to smile at a stranger in the elevator for instance. There’s a high likelihood of getting a smile in return! Or we can stay immersed in books, movies, music and art.

Key though, is that none of this is truly external dependent. If we can be lonely in the company of others, maybe we can be unlonely by ourselves.

The mind must be trained repeatedly to accept who we are. Can we be better in the future? Certainly. But for right now, we each are just perfect.

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More

It is the year 3020.

This blog is no more.

This author is no more.

Everybody reading this blog today is no more.

All the nasty things anyone said about anyone else today, are no more.

All the stress and anxieties we built up today, are no more.

All the work we crammed at the expense of family, is no more.

All the money we raced and fought and killed to hoard, is no more.

But we still want more and more.

Go figure.

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Could it be

Could it be, that we are asked to show devotion to a deity, so that we forget ourselves for a moment?

Could it be, that we are asked to show sympathy to the destitute, so that we forget ourselves for a moment?

Could it be, that we are asked to show gratitude to a benefactor, so that we forget ourselves for a moment?

Could it be, that we are asked to donate to charity, so that we forget ourselves for a moment?

Yes, it could be.

Because spirituality is all about forgetting ourselves to know our true Self.

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Step aside

When does one become ‘senior’ in an organization? Is it when one has 5 years of experience? Or 10, 20, or 30?

There is no right answer. And for good reason. 25-year olds can and do run companies, just as 65-year olds can and do too.

Everybody’s experience levels are different. Just as their skill sets and temperaments are.

Someone with 30 years of experience might be great in a banking role, but a recent graduate with 2 years of experience may far outweigh that experience in a technology role.

But it is good to treat everyone well, senior or junior. For, today’s reportee could well become tomorrow’s boss.

If someone thinks you are not fit to do a particular job, that is only their opinion. And opinions being free, may come and go. If our mental make-up is not strong, we can quickly feel inadequate.

Forget what others say. No Chairman or Founder or CEO was ever born for or accepted in a role de-facto.

We each have the capability to be anything we want to. As long as we don’t let ourselves stand in the way.

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Wooden gold

A traveling storyteller once visited a village. Her story revolved around two men. One, Mr. Perfect, was the most righteous man ever born. And the other, Mr. Terrible, was a villain of the worst kind.

At the end of her narration, she offered the audience to come and pick for themselves from several wooden dolls of both, Mr. Perfect and Mr. Terrible.

No prizes for guessing. Everybody picked Mr. Perfect.

In a nearby village, she told the same story. However this time, she offered the same wooden dolls of Mr. Perfect, but 24-carat golden dolls of Mr. Terrible.

What do you think everyone picked?

Most of our choices are based on valuables, not values.

Is that how we want to be known?

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A Pyrrhic victory

If only I had some more money. And then I could step of out this rat race, pay off my debt, retire early, move to a cabin by the sea and live the rest of my life.

Don’t we all have such seemingly simple wishes? Just a little more money. Let my bank account touch US$ [xyz] or US$ [abc]. And that will be it.

In 1999, a Texan man named Billy Bob got divorced, was alienated from his kids and subsequently committed suicide.

The reason? Just two years before, Billy had won US$ 31 million at the Lotto Texas jackpot. Things went downhill from there. What a reason to take one’s life – snatching defeat from the apparent jaws of victory itself!

We are quite dismal at predicting our own futures. Yes I want 50 million dollars, but everything comes at a cost. Will I be able to handle that kind of money? Where will I keep it? Will the attitudes of those around me change once I have it? Will my own mind be at peace? Can I sleep at night? Or stay worried about keeping the money safe? Will people target me / my money? Do I really even need that much money?

We need to honestly answer to ourselves – what do we really need and what do we really want.

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The Shift

A peculiar phenomenon happens in India.

Even those one would consider to be from a very weak economic stratum – like drivers, maids, laborers and others – can often be seen donating to charity, in whatever capacity they can. Even if they may be able to save next to nothing for themselves.

It begs the question, what ‘rich’ really means. Is it measured by the size of one’s bank balance? Or by the size of one’s heart?

Our lack of happiness stems only from one thing. Our thinking that who we are, what we are, what we do and what we have, is all but inadequate.

Perhaps it is time to shift the frame of reference.

Instead of comparing what we do not have with others, we could compare everything that we have that others don’t. Such as family, work life balance, kids, friends, a spiritual support group, healthcare, a job, good food and countless other blessings, that others may be willing to give an arm and a leg for.

This shift is not for economic satisfaction. This is just for mental peace. Which should be infinitely more valuable.

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Tipping point

Eating at a crowded restaurant in today’s locked-down world might seem like a distant reality.

However, dining out is one of people’s favorite pastimes. The good food, the beverages, the ambience, the music, the company and the professionalism of the staff – all contribute to the ideal culinary experience.

Imagine you just finished a wonderful meal. You tip the waiter 20% of the bill amount. He frowns, pockets the money, and hurries away. You are left perplexed, and frown in return.

In a parallel universe however, he smiles, bows and thanks you for your generosity. You are happy, and can’t help but feel light-hearted.

Which do you prefer?

We each have the opportunity to make those around us happy.

Not everything needs to be transactionary (quid pro quo).

It is not the circumstances (tip amount) that should define the reaction (frown/smile). Rather, the reaction can be upheld, despite the circumstance.

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Good-for-‘ ? ‘

Ever been called a good-for-nothing?

It is not a good feeling. Nobody likes it. But everyone has been called that at some point in their lives – either to their face or behind their back.

It is human nature to oppose something if it doesn’t have (apparent) benefits to us. No wonder we thrive in this age of instant gratification.

But this has also made humans easily distracted, and rarely concerned about the feelings of others.

How do we deal with the naysayers all around us? By focusing only on the message. Not the emotion. Take the feedback if relevant. Otherwise ignore.

Think movies. If a character gets rebuked on-scene, does it affect the actor playing the role? Not in the slightest!

Each one of us is starring in a movie called Life. And we each are good-for-something, if not for everything.

And that is good enough.

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Toy story

Finding our favorite race car toy mangled, or barbie doll ripped apart, when we were 5 years old – was devastating.

Today, at least a few decades older, we can buy many multiples of such toys for ourselves if we wanted to. However, do we?

The toys are the same. But we are not.

Yesterday’s problems, are today’s laughables.

By extension, today’s problems are likely to be non-events in the future. Why then, do we worry laboriously about every passing moment?

Life is easier and most productive when the mind is free from anxiety.

As Buzz Lightyear would say, “To infinity and beyond!”

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Ownership bias

“Sabse bada rog, kya kahenge log”

This catchy and rhyming phrase in Hindi, translates to “The biggest ailment of all, is what will people say [about me]?”

Many an industry, business, career (and fortune) is being made around selling one product alone – ‘social acceptance’.

We tend to be the consumers of this product – via social media, fashion, luxury items, fairness creams (yes that’s a thing!), certain qualifications, many (fake) relationships – among other things.

Nothing inherently wrong with this perhaps. But we must be cognizant of this craze for social acceptance.

Do we own them objects, or do they own us?

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Unblockchain

“Help me, I’m addicted!”

We all have habits that we want to change.

Here then, is the most important chain of life.

Thoughts –> Words –> Actions –> Habits –> Character –> Destiny

To change our habits, we must change our thoughts. But that is often where we get stuck.

If I love junk food, and eat 3 burgers a meal, it would be very hard to give burgers up. However it would certainly be easier to eat 3 burgers, but also include some fruit or salad. i.e. it is easier to bring light to a dark room, rather than shovel the darkness out. Cant stop eating burgers? Add a 5 minute workout.

Said another way, it is easier to add some good, than subtract some bad. This keeps our thoughts in check and reinforces positivity.

Eventually, the good will outstrip the bad. Time to unblock the chain.

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PR skills 2.0

Successful people say that PR (public relations) skills are vital.

Research suggests that the contribution of technical skills to success is only ~15%, while ~85% of success comes from the increased ability to deal with people.

This is sequential though. Having only the 85% PR skills may not be enough, if the technical skills are lacking. So the 85% must be built on top of the 15%.

There is another type of PR skill that is crucial… for happiness. The Pause & Reflect skill.

We all know what to change in ourselves, i.e. I need to reduce my anger, my ego, my sarcasm or my stinging tongue. Nothing that needs an IQ of 240 to figure out. But we struggle to control ourselves in the heat of the moment.

What is the difference then between me and a realized soul? Both are living mundane lives, but the latter’s ability to pause and reflect on life’s teachings, and objectively apply these teachings to similar situations in the future – is the clincher.

We can learn from the wise, in order that we become the wise.

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I’m freeeeee!

According to vedanta, the ultimate goal of all human beings is moksha, or liberation.

But aren’t we already free?

I can drive my car where I please, or get an Uber when I please. I can order pizzas and ice creams and any other food I want instantaneously. Google and Amazon and the others are allowing me to do exactly what I wish for.

Isn’t this then freedom or moksha?

No, because this freedom is only a mirage. While these may make us materialistically free, we still are not liberated from anxiety, fear, anger, ego and jealousy among other things.

The mind has a unique double role to play. It alone is the reason for bondage. And can be the very reason for liberation as well.

As the saying goes, “it’s all in the mind”, and we must conquer it!

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It’s Time To Party!

My Guru gave me a special invitation to his lavish Millennium Party.

He said, “Every person who attends the party, would be gifted a mansion worth US$ 10 million, two Rolls Royce cars, and US$ 25 million wired to their accounts.”

The catch? Each invitee must come in-person, to collect their gifts. The Millennium Party will happen (you guessed it) in the year 2120.

Everyone reading this today would be a 100 years older. Our kids would be great-great-grandparents, their kids would be great-grandparents, their kids would be grandparents, their kids would be parents and some from the youngest generation would have just started working!

Not even one person from today’s 8 billion population will be alive to make it to the party.

Our end is clear, yet we live a life full of one-upmanship.

As Mahatma Gandhi aptly put it, “There is enough in this world for everyone’s need, but not enough for even one man’s greed”.

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Who am I

Saraswati herself, the Hindu goddess of knowledge, claimed to know less than a fistful of all there is to, about Creation.

As human beings though, we prefer to think we know a lot. Often enough to shun all guidance. In reality, we are constantly learning from others. From a boss, from an employee, from a family member, from a friend, from a teacher.

But these learnings are mostly limited to materialism. How to set goals. How to get a better job. How to make more money – Spend more time with the family – learn a language – maybe a musical instrument. The list is long.

However, how much effort have we put in to learn about the ‘real’ us?

Let us take an example. This is my house. And ‘house’ is different from ‘me’. Therefore, ‘my’ ‘house’.

Likewise, my car and my clothes. But also my body, my mouth and my brain.

So who is this ‘my’, who is asking all these questions? We must introspect.

It is said that if you know the real you, then you know all of Creation itself.

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The Prayer

“Dear Lord, please give me a Ferrari, lots of money, a beautiful family, great power in society, top grades in my exams, and while you’re at it, some more money.”

We often synonymize prayer and demands.

How about, “Dear Lord, Good morning! How are you doing today? Hope you rested well. My heartfelt gratitude to you for everything you have given me!”, said with a smile?

If you were God, which would you like to listen to?

Prayer can just be a means to connect to a higher power, aka, the divinity within us.

The more we ask for in life, the greater the chances of us being disappointed.

“I want happiness” said a disciple to the Buddha. The Buddha replied, drop the ‘I’ (ego), drop the ‘want’ (desire), and you have what you seek!

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The Middle Path

Hardcore atheists and theists are at two extremities. One doesn’t believe in a higher power, while the other submits entirely to it.

Looking back at everything that we have experienced in our lives, is it possible to completely deny the influence of anything except ourselves? My teachers influenced my education, as did my mentors my career.

Conversely, is it possible to leave everything to a higher power? I wouldn’t even get off the bed then!

We keep blind faith in our drivers (a quick snooze at the wheel?), barbers (one knife swipe when our eyes are closed?), pilots (we don’t check their flying capabilities before belting up) and countless others (in math, we started with let’s assume x=1).

We would do well to apportion some faith to a higher power, and some faith to our inner power.

Vedanta teaches us that in reality, there is no difference between the two powers.

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Spiritual Qs

Should a spiritual person not strive to earn more money? Should his demeanor always be nice and friendly? Should he always give up or give in? Do spiritual people finish last?

The answer to all these is a big fat ‘No‘!

As the great Swami Vivekananda said, a householder who does not strive to earn wealth is immoral. He further added that it is also immoral if this wealth is not shared!

Spirituality is not divorced from common sense and practical application. Spirituality is not in outward garb (ochre robes) either.

One can certainly hiss and roar, but doesn’t need to bite or fight.

Spirituality is a state of mind. One that is internally calm, in spite of the uncertainties of external life.

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No-cost ammo

We all have a gun called the tongue. It comes with a variety of ammunition. Most guns only shoot anger, pain and hatred.

My favorite type of ammo is praise. It costs nothing, works at all levels (senior, middle, junior, even kids!) and has infinite return on investment for everyone involved.

The ideal praise-to-criticism ratio for high performing teams, according to a study cited by Harvard Business Review, is 5.6 is to 1, i.e. nearly 6 positive comments for every negative one.

As author Dale Carnegie of the bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People puts it, “Criticize in private, but praise in public.”

Let us strive to praise lavishly. Whether at home or with friends or at work.

There is no downside, only upside.

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The six-pack

Can we have a world with only good and no evil?

Asked another way, if we put only good, kind and loving humans on a new life-supporting planet, would that be an end to all of humanity 2.0’s problems?

Hardly.

The reason? Our minds.

Hindu scriptures characterize the mind as having six enemies viz. lust, anger, delusion, greed, jealousy and pride.

As long as the mind exists, these six villains prevail. Which is why, one needn’t go far in search of trouble – they exist in our own homes, and within ourselves too!

Is the solution then to get rid of the mind? No, that is not pragmatic.

The six enemies spring forth from self-centeredness. Lust is to satiate physical desire. Anger is from unfulfilled desires. Delusion is from self-aggrandizement. Greed and jealousy come from discontentment. Pride showcases a (k)no(w)-it-all, and goes before a fall.

Moving the attention of the mind from ourselves, to the needs of others, can obliterate the six enemies in one fell swoop.

Once these inner enemies are conquered, no outer enemies remain.

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I, Me, Myself

A woman and her 5-year-old son visited a saint. “Sir, I have told my son many times, but he just does not give up eating sweets. I would be forever indebted to you if you could cure him of this problem please”.

The saint remained silent.

The next week, the woman came back with the same request. The saint was silent again.

This repeated for 4 weeks.

On week 5, the saint told her that he would speak to her son. The woman asked him in surprise why it had taken 5 weeks for this. The saint replied, “It took me the last 4 weeks to give up sweets myself!”.

Who are we to pass judgements on others, when we have so little control over our own actions? The focus has to be on our own transformation, not others.

Let us strive daily to be the better husband, wife, mother, father, daughter, son, brother, sister, relative, friend, colleague, boss, employer, employee, teammate.

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The Balancing Act

Rich industrialist, or poor farmer. We didn’t choose the family we were born into.

It must be pure chance – an arbitrary allocation.

But if so, would we be happy with such a code of justice, when applied to all aspects of our lives? Surely we do not want the results of our hard work to be arbitrarily assigned to someone else.

The ancients teach us, that life works on the principle of karma.

Karma is any (and every) action. Karmic law is action = reaction, i.e. a balance.

The pleasures we enjoy today – good health, a job, business, money, house, family, food, education – did we really do enough in this life itself to deserve any of them?

We are constantly taking. But it is giving that will (begin to) restore the balance.

The best things we can give? Our time, our wisdom (if any!) and our love. And none of them even cost anything 🙂

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The Greatest Leveller

It is said, that death is the greatest leveller. Poor or rich, makes no difference, when one’s time has come. But of what use is getting level, posthumously?

Spirituality is truly the greatest leveller. Poor or rich, the impartial and universal Spark, lies deep within.

It is too easy to get, and yet almost impossible to attain. No amount of money will suffice, yet freely available to all.

If only we tap into this infinite resource. And channelize the greatness, when still alive.

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B-C-D

Life is short. But it can also be too long. Especially at a crossroads, when discrminative (good versus bad?) ability becomes hazy. The mental agony can be excruciating.

Is this right? Or is that? Should I choose this job? Or that? This college? Or that? Arranged marriage? Or love marriage? The paths are myriad.

In life, we are handed the B and the D. The Birth and the Death. In between is the C, for the Choices we make. There is free will.

But there is no right or wrong Choice. And each Choice heralds its own Consequences. We must learn to live with them. Choose well.

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The right time

A Guru was sitting on a rock on the banks of a river. As he stared intently into the flowing water, a few disciples came to him and asked “Guru ji, you have been staring at the river for hours. What are you upto?”. The Guru replied, “I am waiting for all the water to finish flowing through so that I may cross over to the other side.”. The disciples mocked him “Don’t you know that will never happen? How can you be so silly? You need to swim right now if you want to reach the other side!”. The Guru exclaimed, “Exactly, my dear students, think about that, when each day of your lives, you postpone the important, and focus on the unneccesary”. The disciples understood their lesson.

We cannot change the past, nor the future. We can only influence the now. Let us do now, what we have always wanted to, but never did.

There is no need to search or wait for ‘the right time’ to come to us. The right time is now.

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The Happiness Toggle

No better way for me to start, than by being grateful to everyone and everything that has brought me to this point. If you are reading this, you too need to be grateful. Why? Because we are lucky to even be alive! So many babies didn’t make it past the fourth month in the womb. But here we are. Our organs are working, and limbs are fine, and we can see and hear and talk and laugh.

Sure, this is common across most other human beings you say – so what? So this, that the more we crave for something we don’t have, the more the anxiety and unhappiness.

Flip that around. Where does the happiness lie. In the object? Or inside us? If chocolate (the object) makes us happy, then why does that happiness not linger?

We do not need anything else. We are already complete. Let us strive to help others, instead of focusing on ourselves all the time. This happiness toggle is in our minds.

As the Buddha said, we don’t need money, to give. We can give compassion with our eyes, sweet words with our mouths, warmth from our touch, a listening companion with our ears and serve with our bodies.

Forget what society wants us to be. Let us be ourselves. If we want to be great, let us start by being grateful – let us be forever happy now!

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