Month: August 2024

In his research and teaching at MIT and Duke, Dan Ariely discovered an effective technique for changing opinions: asking key questions. Instead of bombarding people with information, he suggests three types of questions.

First, ask questions to reduce confidence. For example, “How well do you think you understand the stock market?” Then challenge their understanding by asking how they would explain complex concepts like derivatives. This approach helps people realize the limits of their knowledge.

Second, slow people down by asking for more detailed responses. Encourage them to think deeply and provide complex answers to issues they care about. This can lead to a more thoughtful and productive discussion.

Third, use empathetic questions to shift perspectives and foster problem-solving together. Ask questions that put people into the perspective of those most affected by the situation. By changing the tone and opening the conversation, Ariely believes we can find common ground more effectively.

Absolutely worth trying!

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Even though it’s supposed to be Q&A, most of us do A&Q.

How?

Especially when we want someone to change their opinions on something.

What do we do? In all our passion and vigour, we bombard the other person with information and logic as to why they must change their mind.

And then it’s all usually downhill from there.

Bestselling author Dan Ariely has a super unique approach and one that appeals to me intuitively. What is the approach?

To put questions first before any answers.

How exactly? Continued tomorrow…

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We’ve always been told to grin an bear it. Or smile through them tough times.

It’s a great attitude, but also hard to practise.

How to think about this?

From a spiritual point of view, it depends on whether something is one’s duty or not.

If it’s our duty to do something, then we shouldn’t be tagging those duties as pleasant or unpleasant. Duty is duty, and we must do it with the grin and the smile. Dedicating the action and it’s fruits to the Lord would make it that much easier.

Is everything our duty? Certainly not. Partying every day is not duty. Eating junk food daily isn’t duty.

When it’s not duty, we have decision making power. When it’s duty, it’s ishwara arpana buddhi, or dedicated to the Lord.

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Some question and answer gems from Osho, although paraphrased.

Q: What’s the mind’s real purpose?
The mind is a tool to navigate the unknown, like a safety guard. It’s not meant to make us happy, though many mistakenly try.

Q: Why are those who rely on the mind often unhappy?
Those who identify with the mind too much often find misery. The mind should be used when needed and set aside when not.

Q: How has this affected us?
The mind, once a servant, has become our master. We’ve lost touch with our true selves.

Q: How can we find happiness?
Perhaps we should feel more and think less. Nature is happier because it isn’t ruled by the mind.

Q: What’s the key to using the mind effectively?
Treat the mind like a car—use it when needed, but don’t let it control you. Stay in the driver’s seat.

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Met a guy who had worked with the creme de la creme of firms and was himself of top notch pedigree.

He has enough to retire, and for his next gen to never need to work again, although he’s only in his 30s.

I’d met him many years ago as well, when he told me that once he reached a certain amount in savings, he’d just chill.

But cut to now – not only doesn’t he have 10x that, but he also doesn’t work the conventional 9 to 5.

Just does some consulting on his own hours and terms, and is sorted.

Until he tells me that he is not satisfied, and wants to “startup and make it big”.

Despite him knowing very well all the stress that will come along with it. And having experienced it all himself in a previous avatar as well.

Go figure!

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On Krishna Janmashtami, what is the one thing we should practice the most?

No, not stealing butter and smearing our faces!

But perhaps the spirit of yagna, daana and tapa or sacrifice, charity and austerity.

In the big bad corporate world we function in, everyone looks solely at their own P&Ls. Or Ps rather.

What are they themselves going to take home? How much in cash, how much in bonus, how much in stock options?

Lord Krishna inverts this, or maybe we are the ones that have inverted everything. He suggests we must simply work with the attitude of yagna, service and sacrifice for a higher cause, and that as a by product, will bless us with immense prosperity.

Jai shree krishna!

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You know the number one problem that most billionaires have?

It’s not about how to make more money.

But about how to spend their time and money well.

For the richest 10-20-30 people in the world, they just can’t spend enough money even if they wanted to.

They’ll buy a few houses – okay mansions, maybe palaces, a few yachts, many supercars, and a few other things here and there. All that maybe at best will cost what, a billion dollars? Maybe two?

What to do with all the remaining 50 or 100 billion they have?

Of course that’s a great position to be in – but beyond a point, all that money is practically worthless. Unless it’s for helping others, for the upliftment of society.

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My 3 year old niece was in the house for a small pooja.

As we all gathered to pray, I told her just for fun to close her eyes and pray for whatever she wanted, and that God would give it to her.

Kids are the best, and the most innocent.

She closed her eyes, and appeared to do as was told.

Naturally, I was surprised. What did her little mind possibly wish for? New toys? New clothes? More TV time?

So I asked her.

She said all she wanted was the banana in the bowl of fruit in front of her, that had been kept as an offering to the Lord.

So simple and pure!

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A self-help post by an career counsellor on LinkedIn said that there were 3 main points to ace any interview.

Obviously preparation is key.

But what to prep for?

3 areas:

1. About the company
2. About the job
3. About yourself

And he said that point 3 was the most important, and I couldn’t agree more, even though I don’t have the acumen to be a career counselor!

Knowing yourself is perhaps the key to everything. What good is knowledge of a company or a job when we don’t know what we ourselves truly want?

Even from a spiritual lens, the magic happens only when we start introspecting about ourselves.

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Came across a thought provoking post on LinkedIn today by one Aseem Dhru.

He wrote about 5 currencies. Not like the US dollar and Pound Sterling and the Euro. But the currencies of life.

Specifically – wealth, beauty, skills, fame and power.

1. **Wealth**: Wealth acquires beauty, fame, and power; it’s foundational.
  
2. **Beauty**: Beauty is the most fleeting, and seeks wealth and power, highlighting its dependence.

3. **Skills**: Skills lead to wealth, then fame, and power.

4. **Fame**: Fame follows wealth and beauty, fulfilling ego’s recognition need.

5. **Power**: Power dominates wealth, beauty, skills, and fame ultimately.

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Shankaracharya’s Bhavani Ashtakam resonates with anyone seeking solace in the divine. The line “Gathistvam gathistvam tvam ekaa Bhavani” is hair raising and encapsulates the essence of his devotion. It reflects that amidst all of life’s uncertainties, Bhavani remains his sole sanctuary.

The verse “Na tato na mata na bandhur na data, Na putro na putri na brityo na bharta” profoundly explains his realization that earthly relationships and attachments are transient.

By declaring, “Na Jnanam na chavairagyam na shilpam na sa vidya, Na shasram naiva cha kriya na bhaktir mamaivacha,” Shankaracharya acknowledges that neither intellectual pursuits nor spiritual practices alone can bring him peace.

I don’t understand these verses much. But every line is similar. It highlights a variety of things, and then concludes by saying that I know nothing to the exclusion of Bhavani.

Such outstanding devotion!

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The 18th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita begins with Arjuna questioning the true principles of renunciation and sanyasa. This line of questioning is fairly abrupt following the 17th chapter’s discussion on the three Gunas and Om Tat Sat. However, it addresses a crucial unresolved issue.

Despite the extensive teachings, Arjuna remains hesitant and doubtful about his duty. He faces the daunting task of fighting his own relatives, which intensifies his inner conflict.

Commentators suggest Arjuna’s query reflects his struggle, seeking an easier way to evade his responsibilities.

This moment reveals a profound headfake, redirecting focus to deeper spiritual truths and the essence of duty beyond superficial understandings.

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Sanyaas, or renunciation, is linked to Karma Yoga, where one performs duties without personal likes or dislikes. Acting with a prayerful attitude, we see every action as an offering.

True renunciation means doing our duties without attachment to outcomes. This mental shift helps us live freely and gratefully.

Focusing on  responsibilities with this mindset aligns us with a higher purpose, maintaining equanimity in success and failure.

Ultimately, renunciation leads to a more fulfilling and peaceful life, performing our responsibilities without emotional dependencies.

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Renouncing material possessions doesn’t mean giving them up physically. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna emphasizes that true renunciation is mental. It’s about detaching from desires for family, property, and wealth.

Guruji explains that we should see our possessions for their true purpose, like using a car just for transportation. By letting go of these attachments, we find inner peace.

Renouncing expectations from our children is also essential. This doesn’t mean we stop caring but the key would be to avoid emotional dependency.

By embracing mental renunciation, we live more harmoniously, reducing stress and fostering a balanced life.

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In Vedic astrology, the 12th house is a feared one.

Why?

Because it generally shows losses of various kinds. Loss of wealth, giving up of things, leaving one’s home, being hospitalized for long, going to jail etc etc.

As you can see, not a lot of good stuff.

Ketu happens to be a planet that signifies giving up things as well.

So when Ketu is in the 12th house in the native’s chart, it might seem like a deadly combination of an expurging planet in an expurging house!

But what’s bad for materialism is often spectacular for spirituality.

So much so that if one has Ketu in the 12th house, it signifies giving up of everything, including one’s ego. If that sounds familiar, then that it is because it is nothing but moksha or liberation!

Every cloud has a silver lining.

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We think we humans have it tough. Would be so much easier to be a God or Goddess, isn’t it?

But the rules don’t change, no matter what. Here are some examples:

1. Lord Rama endured 14 years of harsh exile and waged a deadly war to rescue Sita.
2. Goddess Sita was abducted, forced into exile, and had to prove her purity by walking through fire.
3. Lord Hanuman had to cross a vast ocean and battle powerful demons, driven by unwavering devotion to Rama.
4. Goddess Parvati subjected herself to intense years of severe penance to win Shiva’s love.
5. Lord Krishna served as nothing more than  Arjuna’s charioteer, guiding him through the bloodshed and chaos of Kurukshetra.

This is what the greatest of the great Gods had to endure. Who are we in comparison?!

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A lot of self-help Gurus say we should live in the present.

But what if the present truly sucks?

Like someone is in jail. Or stuck far from home laboring away somewhere? Or is being harassed by someone, or maybe find themselves in the center of a war zone?

Very hard to just “live in the present” then. So this needs to be applied sensibly and purposefully.

As the Gita in chapter 6 verse 5 says, we must use our minds to elevate ourselves. Maybe in tough times, we use elements in the present to envision and progress ourselves to a superlative future.

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Most of us have a love-hate relationship with our food.

We love food, especially the tasty unhealthy kinds. But then hate the after effects.

It’s so hard to keep the discipline of eating clean food going for very long.

Sunil Chhetri, a leading football player in India had some sane advice.

He was talking about how he has just conditioned himself to eat certain foods. He doesn’t let his mind win. If he must boil bitter gourd and eat it because it’s good for him, he just does it. No complaining, no whining.

He ended with the awesome, “What we eat, reflects in what we think. And what we think, is what we become!”

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One of the greatest Chessmasters of all time is Norwegian youngster Magnus Carlsen.

He is clearly one of the smartest and most brilliant people ever, right? Right?

Well he himself doesn’t think so.

In a recent interview, he says that he too, suffers from imposter syndrome. Can you believe it?

So much so that he feels that people are perhaps even fooling him, playing an elaborate prank, artificially looking dumb in front of him.

His conclusion was my true takeaway though:

He’s met many people who are super smart, but-but-but, they aren’t better than him at chess. So just being smart isn’t enough.

I guess we just have to find our own niches, and keep getting better there!

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Got this super forward today. Yes yes, I don’t usually subscribe to these social media “Good Morning” forwards and such, but today’s was really nice!

Desire changes nothing.

Decision changes something.

But…

Determination changes everything!

How cool no?

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But is all of this teachable, and learnable? Yes!

Bezos believes high standards are teachable.

Exposure to a high-standard environment can elevate expectations and performance.

New team members quickly adapt and contribute at a higher level. Unlike height in basketball, which can’t be taught, high standards can be learned.

Building and maintaining high standards requires recognizing excellence, understanding scope, and fostering a culture that values quality.

Bezos’ insights offer a valuable framework for achieving high standards.

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Jeff Bezos points out that beyond recognizing excellence, it’s crucial to understand the scope of work needed to achieve high standards. For example, writing a six-page memo requires meticulous effort, including multiple revisions and peer feedback. Many mistakenly believe a high-standard memo can be crafted quickly, but truly excellent memos take about a week or more.

The same principle applies to other domains. Mastering a skill like a handstand requires consistent practice over months, not weeks. Unrealistic beliefs about the effort required can lead to frustration and eventual abandonment of the goal.

Understanding and communicating the scope of work is key to achieving high standards. Do we communicate well enough, whether at home or outside? It’s a question to ponder. Whether writing a memo or learning a new skill, recognizing the required effort and time commitment is fundamental. This understanding fosters persistence and ultimately leads to better results.

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There’s a superb interview of Jeff Bezof, founder of Amazon, where he discussed excellent pointers for excellence.

He emphasizes the importance of recognizing high standards and understanding the effort required to achieve them. To illustrate this, he shares a story about a friend learning to do a perfect handstand. Initially, she thought it would take a few weeks, but her coach corrected her, saying it would take about six months of daily practice. This example underscores the need for realistic expectations.

At Amazon, this principle is applied through their unique approach to meetings. Instead of using PowerPoint, they write detailed six-page memos. Not too many do that, do they?

Bezos says that achieving high standards is not just about recognizing excellence but also about realistic expectations. Understanding the time and effort required to produce high-quality work, like a perfect handstand or a detailed memo, is essential for success.

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It’s a natural part of life that relationships, no matter how profound, don’t last forever. This nudges us, or at least should nudge us, towards something timeless, something that transcends our everyday experiences.

That timeless element is often captured in the concept of Dharma, which can be seen as a pathway to understanding the eternal, helping us move beyond the temporal constraints that define our lives.

Dharma purifies, offering a clarity that other sciences might not. It helps us understand ourselves better by fostering a deeper connection with our inner being, rather than the external world. In embracing this spiritual discipline, even a brief moment can be more enriching than a lifetime spent in idle pursuits.

The idea of transcending death may seem paradoxical, but it involves a deep understanding of life’s fleeting nature. By recognizing and accepting the impermanence of life, we become more present and aware, making us less susceptible to life’s illusions.

When we start seeing things as they truly are, it opens up a new perspective where we can find vitality within the inevitability of death.

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Had the opportunity to observe some charity work recently from close quarters. It was interesting – the various types of “takers”.

When given money, some take it happily.

Some ask why the giver is giving them.

Others ask why certain people were given more.

Some try to refuse but happily accept with a little prodding.

Some ask how much others were given.

A few take it with gratitude and express sincere thanks.

Some doubt the giver’s intentions and look for hidden motives.

Others take it silently without a word of acknowledgment.

Vedic spirituality emphasizes the purity of intent behind giving (daana). The act of giving in Vedic traditions is not just a material transaction but a spiritual one, meant to benefit both the giver and the receiver. True charity aligns with the principles of selflessness and humility, fostering a deeper sense of connection and mutual upliftment.

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Recently read Swami Sukhabodhananda’s thoughts on “living wisely.” He contrasts Friedrich Nietzsche’s “live dangerously” by suggesting wisdom while living, or rather in living.

While living dangerously has its moments, it’s equally vital to find joy and contentment in calm times.

Swami Sukhabodhananda highlights that poor self-esteem limits us. We should “learn to be unreasonable,” pushing beyond these limits. Powerful people achieve this by surpassing their diffident minds.

Ultimately, we need a balance of past, present, and future, while living fully in the present.

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Of course every one knows that there are only 24 hours a day.

But guess what, scientists at the University of Wisconsin – Madison have discovered that the Moon is actually slipping away from the earth.

The click-baity article I opened said we’d have 25 hours a day soon.

Wow! Because I can now use that extra hour for sleeping!

Not so soon bubba. The scientists also add that this slow process will conclude in about – wait for it – 200 million years!

Reminds me of my Guru’s famous Millennium Party. You’re invited to the party too, and you get many free gifts including cars and houses and money and what not. The catch? The party will be 100 years from now…

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Here’s an interesting analogy I came across by spiritual leader and coach Chaitanya Charan.

He likens desires to pedaling on a cycle.

Say someone is pedaling too fast, and they lose control and fall into a ditch.

Oops, game over.

They are scarred for life now, after their cycling mishap, that they decide they will never pedal anymore.

This is super extreme isn’t it? Either pedal too fast, or not pedal at all?

This, according to Chaitanya ji, is how desires should be treated. Not at extremes. Neither is too many desires good. Nor is no desire at all good.

A bunch of healthy spiritual selfless desires would be ideal!

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Never heard of rawdogging before? Me neither.

Apparently this refers to a TikTok trend wherein folks record themselves taking long haul flights where one endures the entire journey without any form of entertainment or distraction. It means no music, no phone, no screen, no books or magazines, no food, no water, and no sleep.

Isn’t that crazy?

Not just crazy, but also highly unsafe!

But who cares about safety in this day and age of instant gratification, and more importantly, instant monetization!

Influencers from any part of the world with no degrees and credentials and nothing but a huge mass of followers (soemtiemd even fake!) can rake in the moolah.

But at what cost? Every day so many of them die simply from stretching too far for the perfect click. Falling off a cliff, getting hit by a train, or even drowning in the waves. The influencers need to be influenced first. Nothing is worth losing one’s life over.

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Success vs failure. Man vs child. Are these only about time and age?

Manhood isn’t about age; it’s about enduring life’s toughest trials. Pain, failure, rejection, loss, disrespect, and heartbreak shape a boy into a man.

Success requires relentless effort. Persistence, hard work, dedication, resilience, adaptability, and sacrifice are essential.

Embracing every struggle. The worst experiences are the true architects of greatness, refining character and strengthening resolve.

Life’s harsh lessons teach us to keep pushing forward, turning obstacles into stepping stones. Embracing the challenges—they lead to true strength, wisdom, and success. So we have no other option, but to keep moving forward!

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Ever noticed how saying “tyagi, tyagi, tyagi” continuously sounds like “Gita”?

This isn’t a dazzling invention of mine, but it’s worth pondering for sure.

The essence of the Gita is about being a tyagi—a selfless sacrificer.

We can reflect on this profound connection and discover the timeless wisdom guiding us towards spiritual growth.

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