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Category: Ego

The Laws of Human Nature – part 6 of 6

The Laws of Human Nature – part 6 of 6

Published August 24, 2023

Continuing the last 3 laws/takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Aimlessness – Without a clear purpose or direction, we drift through life. We must find our life’s aim and pursue it with determination.
  2. The Law of Self-Narcissism – Self-love can blind us to our faults. We need to be aware of our own narcissism and strive for a more balanced self-image.
  3. The Law of Rashness – Acting without thinking can lead to disaster. We should take time to reflect before making decisions, especially important ones.

    That’s a wrap – an excellent and big book of 18 laws summarized into a few lines. Hope you enjoyed reading, and find the applications useful in daily life!
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 3 of 6

The Laws of Human Nature – part 3 of 6

Published August 21, 2023

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Defensiveness – This chapter discusses the human tendency to become defensive when challenged. It advises us to be aware of this trait and to use it to our advantage in conflict and negotiation situations.
  2. The Law of Self-Sabotage – This law highlights the human tendency to sabotage our own success due to fear and insecurity. It encourages us to recognize and overcome these self-defeating behaviours.
  3. The Law of Repression – This law discusses the human tendency to repress uncomfortable emotions and memories. It advises us to confront and process these feelings to achieve emotional health and stability.

    Continued tomorrow…
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Selfish and awful

Selfish and awful

Published August 9, 2023

In the amazing new Christopher Nolan movie Oppenheimer, there are several outstanding scenes and dialogues. No spoilers here, but one particular dialogue was super.

In a moment of personal tragedy and difficulty, the protagonist approaches his friend for help. He knows his life is in a shambles, and he remarks, “We are selfish and awful people, but please help us.”

To which his friend counters, “Truly selfish and awful people never admit that they are selfish and awful.”

The power of words!

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The power of ‘I’

The power of ‘I’

Published August 8, 2023

In the realm of communication, the power of ‘I’ is often underestimated. In his insightful book “Magic Words”, Jonah Berger explores how the use of ‘I’ can shape our interactions and perceptions, turning it into a tool for ownership and authenticity.

Berger suggests that using ‘I’ can make communication more personal and authentic. When we say “I found that…”, it makes it clear who did the work. It’s a way of taking ownership of our actions and thoughts. It’s a way of saying, ‘This is my perspective. This is my contribution.’

However, Berger also notes that using ‘I’ can make the findings seem more subjective. It raises questions about the universality of our findings. Would anyone else have found the same thing, or are our findings based on the choices we made while conducting the project?

So, the use of ‘I’ is a double-edged sword. It can enhance the authenticity of our communication, but it can also introduce a level of subjectivity. The key is to use it judiciously, depending on the context and the message we want to convey.

Now, you might be thinking, ‘Isn’t the use of ‘I’ a sign of egotism?’ It’s a common perception, but Berger offers a different perspective. He suggests that the use of ‘I’ is not about promoting oneself but about taking responsibility. It’s about saying, ‘I am accountable for this.’

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Ego-less pursuit

Ego-less pursuit

Published July 14, 2023

We keep reading about and coming across this concept of “giving up the ego”. What does it really mean? How will we feel after the ego is gone? Does it mean we will not have any identity left?

Here is a take from Swami Niranjanananda Saraswati:

If you begin to carve a statue out of a stone, what self-identity is the stone losing? None; rather, it is developing a new identity that will be witnessed and appreciated by many people. Similarly, in spiritual life there is no loss of self-identity; rather the distorted perceptions are corrected, the aggressive ego expressions are redefined, the new wiser you, the new creative you, becomes the new identity.

Interesting, isn’t it? Now if I could just make my ego go!

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Learning by immersion

Learning by immersion

Published July 13, 2023

One of the best ways to learn a language is supposed to be by immersion. What does this mean?

Instead of learning the vocabulary first, memorizing from flashcards and studying the grammar and so on, imagine you are uprooted and placed in a remote village in the country of the language you are trying to learn! Even to get water or go to the loo, you’ll need to begin speaking the lingo – and hence the immersion!

Another lovely story on immersion (not in verbal languages, but the universal language of spirituality!). A pot with 5 holes needed to be kept full of water. What is the solution for this?

Everyone will answer that we need to plug or cover the holes with various materials. All correct no doubt.

But Sant Gurunanak had the best answer. To immerse the pot itself in water, as that is the only permanent solution! The spiritual analogy of course is that our 5 senses, if they truly need to become selfless and have no attachment, then immersion in the Lord is the only way.

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Kind is the new smart

Kind is the new smart

Published July 10, 2023

A recent graduation speech at Northwestern University by Gov. Pritzker caught my eye.

And it wasn’t because he was using funny lines from the hit TV sitcom “The Office”, blissfully unaware that the lead actor from the show was in the audience for his own daughter’s graduation (ya, true story!).

He made some lovely points, but the takeaway for me was on the importance of kindness.

Over my many years in politics and business, I have found one thing to be universally true: the kindest person in the room is often the smartest.
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Pride and Pride juice

Pride and Pride juice

Published May 1, 2023

Everyone knows pride and ego are bad. And yet there’s no dearth of these around us. It’s like everyone’s had a dose of pride juice for breakfast.

Some argue that they’ve “earned it”, “done all the hard work”, so what’s the problem with showing off their wealth and status and attitude?

Well, a few things. For one, pride is addictive. Like kids who are constantly only praised, do not know how to react to tough times in the future. And oh, tough times do come, to everybody!

Pride also clouds judgment. A know-it-all isn’t one who knows everything. He’s just someone who thinks he knows everything. Nobody knows eveything. Even Goddess Saraswati, the Goddess of Knowledge herself is said to know less than 1% of all Creation!

Pride also brings jealousy, and the constant need to look over one’s shoulder, afraid that someone else might do better.

Is there an antidote to pride? Yes indeed. And it’s very simple. All that is required is for us to remind ourselves, that we own nothing. Not the money, not the status, not the relationship, not even our own bodies! We are simply custodians, spending a few decades in this world. We go, the world stays, and not the other way around, like pride might have some believe.

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What’s bad is good for…

What’s bad is good for…

Published March 14, 2023

…none other than beloved Lord Shiva.

Shiva, as mentioned by Sadhguru of Isha Foundation in many of his talks, means “that which is not”.

We are always running after “that which is”…money, fame, relationships… But Shiva doesn’t need any of these.

He happily accepts the ashes from burnt dead bodies. How many of us can?

Everybody loves the full moon in all its beauty, but Shiva has the crooked crescent on his matted hair.

Few like slimy, creepy, crawly snakes, but Shiva adores them. Swami Chinmayananda once likened the snake to the ego – it is full of poison, from it emerges hatred, jealousy, fear and anxiety. It is always frightened and ever ready to attack. But Lord Shiva? Oh, he’s tamed the ego, and wrapped it around his neck!

And if he opens his third eye, all ego is decimated.

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It’s a holi-holi-day!

It’s a holi-holi-day!

Published March 7, 2023

Came across a super WhatsApp forward today – on Holi-day. The Indian festival of colors, and where a huge bonfire is lit.

Step out of home in the morning for a walk, and there’s a zero chance that you can come back without having some color splashed on your face, or clothes!

But what is all this color and the fire for?

The color put on one another helps us forget our differences. Once colored, everyone is the same.

The fire or bonfire, isn’t to burn material things, but rather to burn our ego and feelings of I, me, mine.

So profound, isn’t it?

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Risky business

Risky business

Published January 17, 2023

Many people look at risk from a financial perspective. If I make 100$ investment in a stock for example, then will my capital grow through time? Or would it get obliterated?

One could also look at risk from the perspective of losing something other than money, such as a job or a relationship. It’s always a worry for many employees. Should they open their mouths and speak up? Or is it too risky, potentially leading to a demotion or worse, a sacking?

While the risk of doing something, anything, is always large, there exists another very big risk. This is the risk of not doing anything at all. Optimists will gravitate towards doing something, while pessimists will prefer to watch from the sidelines.

Even in spirituality, risk exists. We are often saddled with the weight of the questions, “Am I good enough?” and “What will people think if I…?”

Coming out of this stage requires a lot of courage and self-compassion. The greatest risk is this: not letting go of what people think, and not standing up for how we feel, what we believe in and who we are.

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Here you ego

Here you ego

Published January 10, 2023

Ego is like a fire, waiting for someone to fuel it. A few nice comments from someone and our chests swell with pride. It’s also fuelled by illusions of our own grandeur, as though we achieved things all on our own!

Ego is bad. But is ego always bad?

Ego is needed for our growth, like when there is a challenge, or the need for creativity and we need to achieve something.

In failure, ego is a wonderful tool, because it doesn’t let you stay down. “Come on, get up, you can do it”, it says.

But in success? It would be best to drop the ego, the feeling that we are individually responsible for all the greatness around.

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Plus minus equal coincidence

Plus minus equal coincidence

Published December 17, 2022

Have been reading one interesting book by a Robert Greene called the Laws of Power. In that, he mentions that he trained a young protégé at one point – a Ryan Holiday – to also become an author. All good.

Then in the newspaper today, I saw an op-ed where someone quoted something written by – you guessed it – Ryan Holiday! Nice coincidence.

But that’s not the reason for this post. The newspaper article said Ryan had an interesting learning on “Plus, Minus, Equal”, that a martial arts trainer used.

To become great he says, each fighter needs to have someone better they can learn from, someone lesser who they can teach, and someone equal who they challenge themselves against. So a plus, a minus and an equal.

The unsaid conclusion of this amazing philosophy, is that one is constantly learning, as one is always a student. Even the best of Gurus, have their own Gurus. Humility is key.

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Hot or cold

Hot or cold

Published December 7, 2022

Winter is here, and we had to get our geyser fixed. Warm water was coming, but hardly. So we called the plumber, the same chap who had installed our geyser a few weeks back.

He said he wasn’t available, and to call the company for a replacement technician directly, which we did.

Said technician came over, took one look at the geyser, and immediately decalted declared that this installation suffered from the most basic of errors, i.e. incorrect positioning. It had been placed upside down – apparently the most rookie mistake possible.

Mistakes happen, and no harm done (except a nice bill of course).

We sent photos of the pre- and post- geyser setup to the plumber. His response? “I’ve been doing this job 25 years, and you tell me I’ve made a mistake? Impossible. I won’t even look at the photos you’ve sent.”

Nice lesson in overconfidence, ego, customer service, humility, and many other things I’m sure.

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Cry me a river

Cry me a river

Published November 23, 2022

Here’s a thought provoking para I read recently:

I also wasn’t used to being yelled at. My mother and father never raised their voices. If we did something wrong, they let us know about it, but they never screamed or shouted. I felt tears welling up and my face turning red and hot. I had to force myself not to cry. I said I understood, and we would do better in the future. As I found my way to the parking lot, I vowed to myself, This is never, ever going to happen to me again.

What is insane about this para is that it could happen to anyone. I’ve certainly felt like this before, and it almost feels shameful to think about.

But guess what? It is really common. This experience above? It’s taken from the autobiography of Blackstone’s founder Steve Schwarzman. This happened to him not when he was some just-studying lowly-intern who recently took up his first ever job. Nope. He’d already become very successful, and very rich, and had made an excellent name for himself. And still he had to face the ire of a client. Happens to the best.

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Cattywampus

Cattywampus

Published November 20, 2022

The Cattywampus was one of the fiercest animals to roam the planet during the Ice Age. I’d not heard of it before, but it was an interesting read. There was a professor who taught his students about the now-extinct animal, and also conduct a spot test thereafter, asking various questions such as the Cattywampus’ color, type of fur, size, diet and so on.

Given all the facts were fresh in their minds, every student answered each question exactly as the professor had just taught. Each student expected a nice 10/10 marks.

But they were shocked when they each got a 0 instead. And so they protested.

The professor’s response? “Yes you answered what I taught, but you did not verify if any of it was true. There is no such thing as a Cattywampus, it’s simply a figment of my imagination!”

This story was featured in a 1991 edition of Readers Digest. Pretty cool way to remind us to each ask questions of the things we see around us. Especially on social media, where there is a lot of fake nonsense. Even Arjuna constantly cross-questioned Krishna. There is nothing wrong in the approach, as long as the questioning is not done from arrogance, but rather a desire to learn.

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Center of the universe

Center of the universe

Published November 13, 2022

What is at the center of the universe?

Is it our sun? Or is it some other planet? Or is it a black hole? Or is the center the Big Bang from which everything has been ever-expanding? Or maybe it is some other unknown galaxy or matter, that science has yet to discover?

Who knows.

But for all practical purposes, we each are the centers of our own universes. Every single moment of our lives, every hour, every day, we are constantly weaving intricate stories around our lives that have only one protagonist – we ourselves. If we can keep ourselves in the background, and bring others around us into the main scene, then we would likely make good spiritual progress.

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Teacher taught

Teacher taught

Published November 9, 2022

Everything we learn in school is usually one-way communication.

Teacher teaches, student learns.

The more knowledge a teacher shares, the more knowledge a student learns.

In spirituality, it is a bit different.

The knowledge is already inside. Locked up and hidden. The teacher aka Guru comes about, and unlocks the hidden knowledge.

But for this, the Guru needs to be allowed near the student. Not necessarily physically, but especially mentally.

If the ego is a big wall, then no one can come near, not the Guru, not even God.

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What is this ego?

What is this ego?

Published November 6, 2022

“I” am the ego. And “I” am filled with pride and arrogance. This is what is ego, is what a simple Sanskrit to English translation would led one to believe.

But is that really it?

When our scriptures talk of ego, they are not referring to pride and arrogance at all. Yes those are bad qualities, but that is not the root cause.

When we say poornamadah poornamidam and give up all our ego to the Homa fire, what ego is that?

The ego here refers to the various identities that we have assumed. As father, as mother, as wife, as son, as daughter, as husband, as employee, as employer and hundreds of other such titles. Lord Krishna clarifies, there is no identity, only Brahman. The rest is maya.

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Rain rain come again

Rain rain come again

Published November 5, 2022

“How to get rid of attachments?” is an oft-asked question by spiritual seekers.

One senior satsangi recently said that we need to know what we are attached to in the first place, before we attempt to wean off them attachments.

So he provided a cool acronym called RAIN.

R for Results, so don’t be attached to the restults of whatever karma we do.

A for Action, so don’t be attached to the action either, like feeling very proud of oneself for going to satsang.

I for “I”, the real ego, putting myself above all else, which is the chief culprit.

N for Non-action, kind of like a counter-point to “A” above, because we can’t be attached to not doing something either. For instance, someone might not go to parties on weekends and feel great about themselves and begin looking down upon those that do go, and getting attached to that inaction.

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Ravana good or bad?

Ravana good or bad?

Published October 21, 2022

Was recently watching an interview of a Sri Lankan historian who said that Ravana to her and her people was a hero while Vibheeshana was a traitor. She supported her belief by saying the latter defected only because he felt insulted after being given the smallest and farthest of the 10 local kingdoms.

This would be completely the opposite view of anyone in India who has grown up reading the Ramayana. Ravana was obviously devout and skilled unlike any, but also supposed to have been brought down by his own ego. Vibheeshana however is eulogised for having stood by Dharma.

What to do in such cases where the stories themselves apparently contradict each other?

The answer is to not focus on the story or characters or who was the hero or villain but rather on the underlying message. Follow dharma, banish ego. This is the message of our scriptures, and the same is true of the mythological texts. That will be enough for us to know how to act when we are faced with tough circumstances and choices in life, because ultimately it’s all about our own inner transformation.

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What if learning causes problems?

What if learning causes problems?

Published October 9, 2022

Imagine a relatively young and new-at-his-field surgeon. Is that someone you want operating on your loved one? Absolutely not, isn’t it? Because what if he gets it wrong? He’s just a newbie, and you don’t want him using your loved one as a testing ground now!

How to think of this? By giving up the ego, it would seem! Here’s Master surgeon Atul Gawande in his own words in a superlative Adam Grant podcast:

Q: But one of the things I took away from that book was how important it is to be able to detach your ego from your mistakes and your failures. And you're now facing that at a much larger scale, knowing that if you fail to contain an outbreak, it could be thousands of people or hundreds of thousands of people who die. How do you navigate that?
A: This was during my training, where I had to learn on people how to do surgery. How do I claim that permission to have a learning curve? And the only way is by not pretending to be perfect, but instead to always be living up to the belief that I'm aiming for perfection and that I understand it's not just me, but a team of people that make it possible for me to learn effectively and safely and for a person who depends on the team to have confidence in the team in even if there is a learner on the team.
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Big boy

Big boy

Published September 22, 2022

Heard this in an amazing speech recently. A man was struggling with his child’s habit of scribbling on the walls in his home.

When the man caught his son doing it the first time, he shouted and said, “Are you stupid or what? Don’t you ever do that again!”

Sure enough, two days later, the boy was back to scribbling on the walls.

Why? Because his pride didn’t let him give it up. Nobody likes to be intimidated, not even a little boy.

The next day, the father tried a different tactic. When he caught the kid drawing on the wall again, he called him near and said, “Sweetie, come here, don’t do that, you are big boy now.”

And the boy never did it again.

What we say matters. But how we say it matters more.

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Here’s some feedback for you

Here’s some feedback for you

Published September 16, 2022

How many of us like to take feedback? Especially if it’s not good feedback?

We may have spent hours and days and weeks working on something, only for someone else to come and peepee all over it with their comments.

Obviously handling such a situation can be very hard.

But this is where successful basketball and NBA coach has the following to say:

Average Players want to be left alone. Good players want to be coached. Great players want to be told the truth.

This is surely applicable off the court as well. Do we want to be left alone? Or be told the truth, so that we have every opportunity available to improve?

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Hide it!

Hide it!

Published September 9, 2022

In a recent podcast on analyzing the traits of successful people, there was a radical point of view.

Everyone says successful people and especially leaders, need to be humble.

The common question is, if someone is humble and soft spoken and down to earth and approachable and all that, that’s great, but does such a person have what it takes to really be aggressive and win in life? Effectively, this can be rephrased as, “Ego isn’t good for relationships, but ego is critical to success”. Because ego is what pushes people to succeed, so they feel like they achieved something, or that they achieved more than others and such.

Our scriptures say we should lose the ego altogether, which is important of course, but from a spiritual point of view. Would this work in the cut throat world we live in? Maybe not, especially if not used properly, because we can’t expect everyone in our work-environment also to have read the scriptures and abide by it. Hence the interesting view in the podcast, that successful people have egos. However, they keep their egos hidden. So it super charges them on the inside, while still keeping them approachable and down to earth!

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Smack

Smack

Published August 14, 2022

SMACS 0723 is the name of one of the galaxies in our universe. This was recently photographed by the much celebrated James Webb telescope.

SMACS 0723 sits a cool 4.6 billion light-years from our Earth. What does this mean? That the the light we see making up the photograph captured by the telescope was emitted shortly before our planet formed.

Think about that for a second. The size and scale of what is going on beyond our blue planet is just unimaginable.

And all this we see from the perspective of our tiny lives, typically just a 100 years end to end, no matter king of the world or pauper on the street.

Despite this, the ego inside has swelled up as though we are the centers of the universe itself. How ironic, isn’t it?

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Medi-what?

Medi-what?

Published August 4, 2022

In a recent podcast, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev was asked about meditation.

He clarified, that meditation is not an activity. It is not about sitting in a place and trying to do something specific. Really? It’s not?

He said that meditation is not something that can be done. But rather that it is a quality. How?

Because, he explained, that one of the qualities of a person, is to be meditative. That is the way to truly live one’s life. This is exactly what my Guru also says, and we have covered this extensively here on FHN.

How to build this quality? By reducing attachments and desires. Which we know, don’t we? 😀

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Give up yet never give up

Give up yet never give up

Published July 21, 2022

There is a lot the Gita asks us to give up. Fruits of our actions. Desires. Extremes. Attachments. And so on.

But there is also something that Krishna says (and my Guru strongly advocates) we should never give up. This comes up in chapter 18 verse 5.

What is this? It is SAC.

SAC? Yes, Sacrifice, Austerity and Charity.

Sacrifice is doing everything for the benefit of others. Austerity is living with simplicity and minimalism. Charity is providing for others who cannot provide for themselves.

Why do SAC? My Guru says it is to purify our minds. How so? By shifting our focus from ourselves always (ego) to those around us. And we know how the pinnacle of spirituality is achieved by giving up the ego. Such a beautiful connect, don’t you think?

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One Love

One Love

Published July 13, 2022

Back in the noughties (only 20 years ago!), the boy band Blue crooned, “One Love is all we need”, and that song became a massive hit.

While that song was about something else too, it is indeed One Love that is the common denominator across all religions.

People fight today in the name of religion, declaring that their own path is Supreme, in isolation, and to the exclusion of every other faith.

But no God ever said this. Only man did.

And humans do this why? Because of their ego.

It’s not about the Lord or the religion anymore, but about “their” God and “their” religion.

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Is God showing off?…

Is God showing off?…

Published June 14, 2022

…is a question some have on their minds.

What is the meaning of this question even, you might be wondering. Consider the Gita. Everywhere in the wonderful scripture, the Lord talks of his own greatness.

How He is the greatest amongst all Creation. How He is the thread underlying all manifestation. How He knows past, present and future, and everyone and everything, but none know him. How He is the best of the best (vibhuti) of all that we see around us. And on and on.

When this same Lord says that giving up our ego is the most important thing in spirituality, is it that he is showing off about His own abilities? Absolutely not, and here’s 2 key reasons why:

1. He is indeed the true Creator, Sustainer, Destroyer of life and everything around us. We weren’t there for even a fraction of a second, if we look at things from His time frame. If He doesn’t tell us the truth about His nature, then who will?

2. The second point is critical, because there is ego and showing off only if one keeps something to themselves, for selfish reasons. The Lord though has been shouting hoarse to Arjuna that deep down, there is no difference between anyone, i.e. Atman = Paramatman!

LHS = RHS, Hence proved!

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ABCs

ABCs

Published June 6, 2022

In JP Morgan’s recent quarterly commentary, I came across an interesting acronym.

If you read the title of this post, then no doubt you guessed it already.

ABC (duh!).

Here is the statement verbatim.

“We’ve always believed that ABC – Arrogance, Bureaucracy and Complacency leads to stasis and death.”

You don’t usually expect to find such lines in boring corporate commentary, but sometimes such gems do exist in the most unlikeliest of places!

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Sellers

Sellers

Published June 3, 2022

The most important trait to make money surely has to be IQ right?

Warren Buffet, the world’s foremost investor has a different view.

He says very clearly, that a high IQ is not necessary at all.

He is so sure, that he recommends selling 30 points of your IQ, if you’re at 160, because a 130 is more than enough.

You know what else happens when the IQ is too high? Self confidence morphs into over confidence, and the ego gets a boost like no other. And we all know the perils of an inflated ego…

If IQ doesn’t matter much, then what is important? Mr. Buffet thinks that “just being sensible” is key. Simple, but not easy.

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Thud

Thud

Published June 1, 2022

A few years ago, my grandmother set out for an early evening walk around the colony.

The area had a lot of trees, and so was nice and green, while also providing decent shade from the sun.

Midway into her walk… and a large branch from a tall tree above, broke off and grazed her hand.

She returned home immediately, and had to put some medication, but it was nothing serious.

It might seem like this was a small incident, but she herself knew it’s importance. Not that the branch broke off, but where exactly she was at the time. Just one step to the right or left, and the branch would have hit her on the head. And with such a hard blow…

We may egoistically think we are in full control of our lives. But we don’t even know what can fall from the sky when we step out for an innocuous walk.

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Elevator pitch

Elevator pitch

Published April 6, 2022

We all know the electricity analogy for Barhman or Arman right? We might not be able to see the Atman in us, but that’s the divine force driving everything. Just like we can’t see electricity, but that’s what powers all our appliances.

Here’s a short story. A villager came to visit his city cousin. They both got into an elevator, and they started moving up at a great speed. The villager was mighty impressed, “Wow at the touch of a button you are able to make us go so high!”

A few seconds later, there was a power cut and the elevator stopped midway. “Can’t you press the button again and do anything?”, the villager asked his city cousin. To which the latter remarked, “No sorry, it’s all ultimately driven by electricity only.”

This is no different from the Divine within us which is solely responsible for all our achievements and successes. So then, why this much ego?

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Netted

Netted

Published March 12, 2022

There’s a beautiful description of two of the greatest devotees of Sri Ramakrishna Paramhamsa as given by Swami Ranganathananda in his Bhagavad Gita exposition.

It was said that Maya could never catch either of them. Why? For two opposing reasons.

For the first devotee Narendra aka Swami Vivekananda, he had becomes just too big for the net of Maya. How? Through jnaana or knowledge. The jnaani knows he is the same as The Infinite One, and hence no net however large can contain such a person.

And the other devotee? He was Durga Charan Nag, a householder and a doctor. He was supposed to have been one of the greatest devotees of the Divine Mother. He was so humble, that he would say the Lord is everything and he is nothing. This made him so small that he could easily pass through the Maya net!

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Successhun – part 2 of 2

Successhun – part 2 of 2

Published March 4, 2022

There’s an amazing scene in Succession. Correction, there are several amazing scenes in this 8.9 IMDB rated show.

One in particular stood out for me. No spoilers don’t worry.

The kids (grown up of course) are all standing around papa Logan, the big man, the head honcho.

Everyone is looking for their own pound of flesh, trying to score brownies points, and put everyone else down while at it.

One narcissistic chap tries to sell himself golden, “Dad, remember how I did this and that and succeeded and cracked the deal last week and blahblueblee.”

To which the big kahuna replies curtly as only he can, “I don’t do ancient history.”

Finito. Trap wide shut. Nobody gives a damn about the past. It’s over. We shouldn’t either. The future, is in the present. That’s all that matters.

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Booster shot

Booster shot

Published February 28, 2022

The ego is a funny thing.

It just keeps on and on growing.

When we are babies, kids, there is hardly any ego.

But as we grow up and mature, and earn money, and attain fame and status, the ego swells bigger and bigger.

Oh a fat paycheck? Ego boost. A new car better than the neighbour’s? Ego boost. Double promotion at work? Double ego boost.

The more we apparently achieve, the more we think about ourselves, and greater the ego boost.

But funny it is then, that we achieve the foremost greatness, when we become One with all of Creation, when realization is attained i.e. the greatest of the greatest achievement, then the ego promptly falls to zero!

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Great falls – part 2 of 2

Great falls – part 2 of 2

Published February 11, 2022

We discussed great falls just a few months ago. Another thought struck me, and so I wondered why not discuss this as well? It is another example of such a great fall. One that was experienced by a saint called Sri M. You can see his videos and lectures on YouTube. He was born as Mumtaz Ali Khan, but is highly fluent in Hindu traditions (maybe more than many Hindus themselves!), including being able to chant the Vedas etc.

I heard about him first a few years ago when I read his autobiography called Apprenticed to a Himalayan Master. There is plenty of other-worldly stuff going on in it – rebirths, remembering past lives, miracles, magic etc etc. The book is great, if you can stomach these many “happenings”.

The way the book starts, really drew me in. Of course everyone would wonder how a Muslim might be able to chant the Vedas with such ease. Sri M’s own explanation is that he was a devout Hindu in his previous life. Not an ordinary one, but one with quite some spiritual power.

Apparently when he was meditating in the Himalayan peaks back in that life, one old fakir approached him, begging. Instead of helping this person (as any spiritually evolved person should do), he reprimanded him for disturbing his meditation session. The fakir was heartbroken and proceeded to commit suicide by jumping off the cliff. Sri M’s Guru (in his past life) then told him he’d be reborn in the fakir’s religion in his next birth, but still find his way back, in the next one.

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Removing corruption

Removing corruption

Published January 17, 2022

“How can we get rid of corruption, and how can I prevent myself from becoming more corrupt, as I earn more money?”, was the question asked by a disciple to Sadhguru. I listened to this on a podcast, and found the answer enlightening.

Power corrupts. Isn’t this the famous statement we have all heard so many times? And we look nastily at bureaucrats and politicians as if they are solely to blame. Maybe some of them are, who knows.

However, Sadhguru’s take is different. What does he say?

That people are either corrupt, or not corrupt. It has nothing to do with power. How so?

He links this back to spirituality. Our corruption starts from the moment we identify with ourselves. Not just ourselves, but only ourselves. Because that means we favour only us over someone else. This is the seeds of corruption being sown right there. And then, we get married, have kids, have a large family to take care of and so on. Which means only one thing. More corruption.

The way out? To stop being so self-centered, and to be a citizen of the world. That’s why my Guru doesn’t pray for small small things anymore. His only objects of prayer? Desh (country) and dharma.

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Me me me

Me me me

Published January 12, 2022

No today’s post is not about meme stocks or meme cryptos or meme NFTs. Although it is interesting that the word meme was coined by Richard Dawkins in his 1976 book called The Selfish Gene, and the book title has a clue!

But here’s a really short story you may have come across.

An exceptional doctor was nearing his end. He didn’t want to die though. So he created another version of himself, right down to the tiniest detail. Both him and his alter-image were laid down on beds side by side, absolutely still, not a movement. When Death approach, it got confused, because the two were impossible to tell apart. So then Death played a trick. It said, “I know which of you is the real doctor, because the real one made a mistake.”

The real doctor blurted out, “That’s impossible, there’s no mistake.” And Death immediately said, “There you go, that’s the mistake!”, obviously referring to the man’s me-me-me, aka ego.

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Lingo creep

Lingo creep

Published January 4, 2022

“All well?” “Yes, yes all well.”
“What about you, all well?” “Yes, yes all well here too.”

This seems to be a very standard greeting exchange nowadays. Wasn’t like this say a decade ago. Wonder how it crept in.

“No worries” is another one that people use a lot. Probably came from hakunamatata as taught in Disney’s The Lion King.

A more recent one that I’m becoming increasingly exposed to is “Correct me if I am wrong.”

It might have started off on a nice note. Someone didn’t want to sound haughty or a know-it-all, and so prefixed their statement with ‘Please correct me if I am wrong.” All good till here.

Except that now everyone uses it all the time. I counted 10 of these in a 20 minute conference call yesterday! And the worst part?

People actually butt in and say “Yes you are wrong, let me correct you here.” <facepalm>. In a group of 10 people. Seniors, juniors middlers, everyone. Just unbelievable how self-obsessed people can be, never wanting to lose the opportunity to give someone a hard time, or make themselves look good.

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Laptop delivery

Laptop delivery

Published January 2, 2022

Here’s an incident which happened a while ago, but quickly taught me the importance of being humble.

In a previous avatar, I was once called by someone from the tech support team. This person told me that my superboss had asked for me to bring his laptop to him, from his desk, to a meeting room where he was sitting then.

Surely this was not my job – delivering laptops!

But (luckily) I didn’t think twice about it, walked across the room, picked up his laptop, and took it to the meeting room where he was. When I knocked and went in, my superboss was surprised too, and said, “Hey, you’re here? I’m so sorry, I didn’t ask you to bring my laptop over, I think the tech support guy misunderstood me. I told him to have someone get my laptop to me, and then have it sent to you for the specific task we discussed today morning.”

I quickly replied, “Not at all a problem sir…”, and then he cut me off and motioned towards another gentleman seated in the meeting room, “Please meet Mr. ABC, who is the owner of a large chain of jewellery stores.” And he invited me to sit down. Turned out that we both spoke the same mother tongue, which led to an interesting conversation. My superboss invited me back to the room a while later as his guest wanted to convey something only in the mother tongue, which he was unable to translate otherwise.

If I’d just thought “What the heck, why should I be the laptop courier?”, surely such an interesting experience wouldn’t have transpired!

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Dying opportunity

Dying opportunity

Published December 28, 2021

Here’s a trend I’ve been noticing on social media off-late.

If someone famous passes away (old age, disease etc.), people post condolence messages.

This is great – a wonderful way to remember someone who made a mark on society.

But the crazy part? These condolence messages are rarely about the one who passed away.

Rather, they start with a joint photo of the person posting the note along with the deceased, maybe a holiday they took together, or a business meeting or family dinner or such.

And then the focus shifts entirely to the one posting the condolence message! Starts with how they met that person, and then moves to how they built their own career, their own business, their own wealth, their own destiny, with links to their products and where to buy etc etc.

There’s so much of commerce in such posts, and even in the wake of someone passing away, these are only seen as an opportunity for self-promotion.

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Egota

Egota

Published December 22, 2021

Accepting any kind of feedback is hard. We’ve all been there, and we know it.

That’s why a statement a lady made on the venture-capital investment TV show called Shark Tank recently, really caught my attention.

Mark Cuban was giving her some feedback about her product’s packaging. He said that the packaging was good, but not self-explanatory. If a customer picked up that product, s/he just wouldn’t understand it and how to use it and what it’s benefits were.

He tells her he would be keen to invest with her, however, “are you okay with changing your packaging?”

To which the lady replies, “Data over ego. That’s what I believe in Mark.”

Such a cool thing to say! That I might have a view, an opinion, a stance, a preconceived notion even – but if data comes by, if the facts change, if the circumstances change, then I’m willing to open my mind and learn.

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Oh my I

Oh my I

Published December 20, 2021

Here is what my Guru wrote to me recently on ‘ego’:

The ego needs to be defined to be understood.

What is this ego? Simple.

My view. My idea. I think. I feel. I am sure. I myself. I alone. I have seen. I think I can. My house. My dog. My experience...

You can easily add another hundred more to such expressions.

As you can see, so much I and my.

My goals...

Might be a good reminder to finish the target, or maybe obliterate it.
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Divine eyes – part 3 of 3

Divine eyes – part 3 of 3

Published December 15, 2021

In most visual depictions of the Mahabharata and the Gita, Lord Krishna is shown as though expanding in size and form, until he becomes humongous. So large, that he opens his mouth, and many galaxies are seen inside it. He has myriad arms and legs and heads, and in general is representative of a supernatural being.

But this may not be fully accurate. Because the Lord in his own admission, states that everything is He, and He is everything. So all the empty space around us, all the filled space around us, all the objects, all the living creatures – everything is Him only.

And thus the Lord’s viswaroopa is to be seen as a wake up image for Arjuna (and by extension us). The whole of the 10th chapter where Krishna gives so many examples of his manifestations in the world around us (vibhutis) was not enough to convince Arjuna.

But when he did finally see the True form, not only was he amazed, but also terrified. Why?

Because he saw Krishna as the Creator, but did not expect to see his Destroyer side (all of creation was eventually being destroyed). He had forgotten the lessons he learned in chapter 2 on aham or ego. He was unable to reconcile his friend Krishna, as also the terrible Krishna. But as the Lord himself says, all this is a play of maya. As my Guru says, “Once we are out of ‘body consciousness’, all these will be taken care of”.

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Future memory

Future memory

Published December 11, 2021

Our world revolves around us. It is but natural. If we don’t exist, then it wouldn’t matter, but since we do, the world seen from our perspective has to obviously have us only as the protagonist.

Now extrapolate this to each of the approximately 8 billion human beings on earth. That is 8 billion movie scripts all running in parallel, at times even criss-crossing over other scripts. And then there are billions of other living organisms – animals, plants, microbes and so on. So billions and billions of movies all running simultaneously, with each having one main character, and everyone else in supporting roles and some villainous ones too.

We’re at the centre of our live movies only because of our egos. And we want to remain there, even after death. Which is why so many great kings and queens of lore took substantial pains to leave behind their monumental legacies. That’s also why people even today are doing everything it takes to leave their mark, and be chronicled in the annals of history.

This is all fine, except that mostly whatever is being done, is being done selfishly. It is being done not with the sole aim of helping someone else, but with the aim that if I do something, then my name will be etched in common memory for eternity.

Which is why the mystic Sadhguru’s answer to the question “How do you want the future generations to remember you?” is priceless. He says “I hope people of future generations are so happy and blissful, that they never have to remember me at all!”

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Deification

Deification

Published December 6, 2021

One of the misconceptions about Hinduism that even Hindus harbour is that they think there are 300 million Gods and Goddesses and hence so many different things to ask for from each one.

This might be true to some shallow extent. But from a spiritual point of view, all the asking and begging and pleading for materialistic perishables would be utterly meaningless.

Here instead are two better ways to think about deities.

  1. Instead of focusing on our own wants all the time, we move the spotlight to the deity. This reduces our ego – and by itself perhaps a pinnacle of achievement among spiritual milestones.
  2. Instead of focusing on our own weaknesses all the time, maybe there is a way to focus on strengths? The more we think of our limitations, the more self-reinforcing they become. But visualizing a deity and its superpowers? And 300 million deities? That’s easily several billion positive traits to focus our minds on. Imagine the self-reinforcing power of that in comparison!

Anyone can make use of the power of deities. It is not superstition, but a super decision!

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Chosen two

Chosen two

Published December 2, 2021

In a satsang session a few years ago, my Guru was asked to do a quick recap of the entire Gita.

What better way, than to do it in just 4 minutes? Wow a 4-minute Gita!

He recited 1 shloka per chapter, so 18 chapters, 18 shlokas, with their meanings and application, and all extempore. It was truly a sight to behold.

For only the 2nd chapter, he recited not one, but two shlokas. 2.71 and 2.72.

To say he thinks these are important shlokas would be a massive understatement.

2.71 is vihaaya kaamaanya sarvaan. Vihaaya is giving up, kaamaan is desires, sarvaan is all. And then he recited is backwards. Sarvaan kaamaan vihaaya – All desires give up.

2.72 is similar, stating that one who achieves such state of mind, achieves liberation even at the time of death.

Each chapter has only 1 shloka that he picked. But chapter 2 alone had two. Is it important? Yes, twice as important.

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L_t o_h_r p_r_o_ w_n

L_t o_h_r p_r_o_ w_n

Published November 23, 2021

Can you try to figure out the blanks in the title above? Somewhat like guessing the letters in that 90’s show Wheel of Fortune. Sadly, no prizes here though, not a monetary one anyway.

This title above, is what my Guru wrote to me recently. Absolute pearls of wisdom, and clearly I need it 🙂

We think degrees and education beget success. Not so. There is only one thing that is needed. And that is win-win mastery.

Here are his words:

The principle in win-win mastery is these 4 words. 'Let other person win'.

When? Once in a year on their birthday? Or every month? Or week? Or day? Hour? Minute? Second?

Yes every nano-second!

No one can defeat him/her who agrees with you. This appears to be the art of flattery. But it is the quickest way to win life's invisible gold medals, and have practically zero adversaries, zero enemies, even competitors. All gold medals of life will be yours.

An intelligent wife / husband / child / parent / grandparent each can' win, if they brush aside one major obstacle called ... Ego. Yes, the root cause is ego. Watch only one person in life, who's name is MY EGO.
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This is the biggest sin – part 1 of 2

This is the biggest sin – part 1 of 2

Published November 13, 2021

Look at the world around us. So many sins are committed by so many people on a daily basis. The aggregate of sins on a sin meter would hit infinity in no time.

Then look at ourselves. Are we any different?

The countless mistakes we’ve made, well, “by mistake”, those are probably not sins, and can perhaps be forgiven. But even though we made these mistakes unintentionally, they still could have hurt someone deeply right?

And the sins that are committed on purpose – what about those? No respite there.

My Guru though says there is only one real sin. The biggest sin of them all. And we have all committed it. And continue to commit it.

That sin is called aham in Sanskrit. The “I” feeling. The ego. The conviction that I am the body and mind and not the soul.

In front of this sin, all the others are meaningless. If this one sin is rectified, the concept of a sin itself becomes irrelevant.

Concluded tomorrow…

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Monk-ey business

Monk-ey business

Published October 30, 2021

In his book Think like a Monk, monk-turned-author (and many other things) Jay Shetty writes about competition. Not just normal competition like in sports, or at work.

But competition amongst monks. What? Monks have renounced the whole world right? What is there for them to compete on?

He says in their ashram, monks would aspire for such high levels of purity that they would compete as follows:

  1. I meditated longer than everyone else
  2. I ate lesser than that monk
  3. I outlasted all of them, etc.

He poses a valid question at the end. If a monk behaves like this, then what’s the point of, well, being a monk?

He also concludes beautifully with a reference from another book called The Monastic Way. “In a monastery, the only competition allowed is to outstrip each other in showing more love and respect.”

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Advanced beginner

Advanced beginner

Published September 12, 2021

As a kid, going to amusement parks meant having to size oneself up against a ‘bar’. If I was shorter than the bar, then sorry, that ride wasn’t for me, no matter how adventurous it looked.

We always want to be permitted to do what we want. To be what we want to be. No shackles, no limitations.

I came across a spiritual book recently, which needed some permissions to be read. To read a book? Really?

Here’s what the book cover said. “Only for advanced seekers or absolute beginners.”

What an amazing requirement. I don’t know what was in the book, but it certainly makes me want to read it (even though I don’t fulfil the requirements). I’m certainly not an advanced spiritual seeker. And unfortunately, I’m not an absolute beginner either. I’ve read some spiritual books and listened to some YouTube talks, and that means my ego has only risen, rather than crumbled, as would be ideal.

Krishna makes it explicitly clear in the Gita. He needs no status, wealth, name, education or credentials for granting a spiritual revolution unto Him. All he needs is a clean heart dedicated only to Him.

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Chocolate Olympics

Chocolate Olympics

Published September 10, 2021

’tis the season of the Olympics, and the medal tallies for each country are scrutinized keenly. In some sports, there are well known champions, while in others, new ones are created everyday.

One such champion is 24-year old American swimmer Katie Ledecky. She’s considered one of the best swimmers of all time, with 7 Olympic gold medals and 15 world championship gold medals.

Quite the feat. When I watch videos of her races, they are simply unbelievable because of the gap between her and number two. The focus and determination needed to not just swim 8 minutes at super speed with the whole world watching, but to also practice many many hours more on a daily basis, the capabilities of the human body are just mind boggling.

One practise video shows her swimming a lap in an Olympic pool while balancing a brimful glass of chocolate milk on her head with nary a spill. If there was a better demonstration of focus, stability and poise, I haven’t seen one. There’s another one where technology shows the World Record time as a line drawn across the pool as Katie swims, and the previous WR line is actually chasing her from behind!

Yet, as life shows us over and over, no matter the level of success, a new era will dawn where the incumbent is vanquished by an emergent victor. For Katie Ledecky, there is another Katie, a 15-year old Katie Grimes, who is already nipping at her heels. And hence for everyone in life, there is zero room for ego – which incidentally is the crux of all spirituality as well.

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Rejection notice

Rejection notice

Published September 8, 2021

Here’s something I came across on my LinkedIn feed recently. A man who was in need of a job was giving some interviews.

During one such interview, the HR told him about the great practices followed in the company, the compassion, the empathy, the work life balance, the amazing culture, the camaraderie and so on. A wonderful HR marketing pitch if there was one.

A few days later, he got an email from the same HR. The email had no greeting, no salutation, no niceties, no ‘thank you for attending the interview’, no template-response either (‘thank you for interviewing with us, we appreciate your candidacy but regret to inform you…’).

Instead, the email from the HR had just one word. “Rejected”. Yes just this one word. Nothing else.

Maybe that HR didn’t have time, or was genuinely irritated by this applicant – who can say for sure. But it’s still basic courtesy isn’t it?

The learning for me was, that even though I don’t write ‘rejected’ emails, maybe I speak similarly – harshly and curtly at times. I may not even realize it, and I wouldn’t know the impact on the other person, but the other party might feel deeply hurt. Much care must be taken. Words once uttered, can seldom be taken back.

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Humble prostrations

Humble prostrations

Published September 2, 2021

Here’s how my Guru began his address to the satsangis this year during Guru Purnima.

He called out a variety of different Gurus across all sorts of sects. He mentally and verbally prostrated before all the great Gurus of yesteryear and now.

He paid obeisance to all the great rishis and munis and saints of the past. He also prostrated to Swami Chinmayananda, Srila Prabhupad, Sri Sri Ravishankar, Sadhguru, Sathya Sai, Shirdi Sai and all the other divine personalities. He also said we are prostrating daily to them. Not just to them, but also to their followers!

My Guru is 80+ years of age. He need not prostrate to anyone. But a self-realized soul understands that the age of the body is irrelevant, and that at our cores, we are all divine, and that there really is no difference. I’ve seen him physically fall at the feet of those who are much younger than him as well.

His prayer on Guru Purnima day was not for himself. Rather it was that we must all understand this divine unity within us, and love each other. And that the love must begin from each one of us, and spread outward. What humility, and what a thought!

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3-pointer

3-pointer

Published August 21, 2021

When we talk basketball, the first names that come to mind are usually Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Shaquille O’Neal or Stephen Curry. Each of these players has really proven themselves on the court, and have amazing records to boot.

But sometimes the magic can happen off-court too! Giannis Antetokounmpo, just 26 years old, has had a great run off late in the NBA. One wouldn’t call his background a very wealthy one – given his parents were Nigerian immigrants in Greece, and even making ends meet was a challenge.

He was asked recently at a press conference how he keeps his form in check, now that he has been playing so well. His answer is a 3-pointer that any basketball fan would be proud of.

  1. If I focus on the past, that’s my ego
  2. If I focus on the future, that’s my pride
  3. If I focus on the present, that’s my humility.

“And it’s not like I don’t set expectations for my game, but while playing, I enjoy myself and really give it my best shot”

Slam dunk!

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How to attain spiritual perfection

How to attain spiritual perfection

Published August 18, 2021

Here are three most important requirements which were discussed in a recent satsang.

  1. Humility
  2. Compassion
  3. Ananya bhakti (i.e. constant devotion to the Lord / God / Oneness / Consciousness / Paramatman / Supreme Being etc.)

If we attempt to analyse these a bit more:

Humility comes from accepting that neither do we know everything, nor are we the best at anything.

Compassion comes from accepting that there others more needy than us (usually we are the only centre of our attention).

Ananya Bhakti is harder to grasp and practise. It requires more alertness than the other two. It requires the spiritual seeker to bring God into every aspect of one’s life, into every waking moment, into every voluntary thought and action. A good way to begin, is with gratitude for everything that has already taken place and is currently taking place.

Seen differently, 1 and 2 chop away constantly at the seemingly infallible tree that is the ego. And point 3 replaces it with the only Truth that exists.

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Substantial

Substantial

Published July 24, 2021

My Guru was giving a discourse on the Bhagavatam recently. In that, sage Narada happens to be traveling and reaches the world in its current state, i.e. Kali yuga. What is the sum and substance of this age? That the substance has gone from everything. The Guru explained it beautifully thus.

The ‘substance’ has gone means the ‘purpose’ has gone.

Means people are not putting their hearts and souls into what they are doing. There is no love and enjoyment for work. There is no attention to work.

Not just office work. But to most actions.

If one is going to a temple to pray, the substance is lost, because the mind is not on the Lord, but on what we want from the Lord.

How profound! An important message for me, especially on this auspicious day of Guru Purnima. All glories to Him!

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Sacrificial – part 3

Sacrificial – part 3

Published July 21, 2021

Chapter 4 in the Gita is called Karma Sanyaasa Yoga, and talks of a variety of yagnas or sacrifices, as we’ve seen in the last couple of days.

The list of yagnas is beautiful, mesmerizing and sequenced to perfection.

It starts with physical items. Things like ghee, coconuts and other things one would normally offer into a fire ritual. But those are the easy ones.

Next come giving up the sense organs. What does this mean? Cut off my ears and put it into the fire? Certainly not :). Rather it is attachment to these organs and their perceptions that needs to be given up. What? How can I give up my organs. Seems illogical, until we come to terms with the scriptural end-game. Which is that all creation around us is simply maya, and all the sense organs are doing for us, is to bind us more to this world.

A question that is relevant here is – which part of all this is truly ours? All the money and material possessions we have – in some shape or form belong to the earth. We have maybe taken it, and processed it and converted it, but not truly created anything. If none of this is ours in the first place, what can we really sacrifice?

Oh yes, there is only one thing that is wholly solely ours. And it is called the Ego.

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Masculinity

Masculinity

Published May 11, 2021

There’s an excellent interview on Youtube of ex-US President Mr. Barack Obama. It’s a very short clip – hardly two minutes long. He is quizzed on what masculinity is, what it means to be macho. Mr. Obama’s response, as expected of him, is simple yet profound.

He says that “a man doesn’t need eight women around you twerking to show their masculinity”. When we see most music videos / ads / movies / magazines / item numbers in songs etc. – they all seem to capture this exact theme – machoism and womanizing.

Instead, Mr. Obama clarifies that what makes a good man, is “first and foremost being a good human being and that means being responsible, being reliable, working hard, being kind, being respectful, being compassionate. The notion that being a man is to put somebody down rather than lift them up is an old view.”

Such a lovely thought, isn’t it? In the spirit of equality, no doubt this applies to women as well – because at the core of this life of ours, we are all human beings first.

We become great when we make others around us great, and this starts by treating them as though they are already great.

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Twit quot 2

Twit quot 2

Published May 4, 2021

Here are some more simple yet profound quotes I came across on Twitter:

The way to forget insults is to not take compliments in the first place.
When in doubt, go for a walk.
Don't worry about being qualified. Everyone is learning as they go.
Reading 1-2 hours a day puts me in the top 0.00001%.
In the short term you are as good as your intensity. In the long term, you are as good as your consistency.

Link to Twit quot 1

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Ritualistic pride

Ritualistic pride

Published April 26, 2021

When doing a puja, homa (havan) or other ritual, the doers often become conceited. “Oh look I just performed a huge yagna and see how many people attended, and see what amazing catering I arranged” etc. Even if the havan was done on a small scale, ego can creep in. But it’s helpful to really think what aspects of the homa or puja were done by “the doer”.

How about these?

  1. The deity we are praying to has to make him/herself available
  2. Agni, the fire God, has to function as the medium and carry one’s prayers to the deity
  3. The various ingredients – coconuts, walnuts, other inflammable items, flowers, ghee, water and everything else – does the yagna doer create these items?
  4. The priest who conducts the ceremony – is the organizer the priest? Soes s/he know every single mantra, shloka, chant – not just to recite, but to understand and to feel? Did s/he create those incantations?
  5. Or maybe if it’s a self-chanted self-conducted ritual, then gratitude to our own memory, vocal chords, the guru who taught us the mantras…
  6. How about the free time we were allowed by our family members to devote to the puja
  7. Also the attendees who showed up, and the cooks who prepared all the dishes
  8. A few other things I would have missed here for sure

Without any of these, how would the havan have been a success? Really is there much for us to be proud of then?

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Ego wars

Ego wars

Published March 22, 2021

Ego is our enemy right?

It prevents us from seeing things as they really are. It blinds us from believing that we’ve made a mistake. It helps us beautifully and creatively come up with ways to put the blame on someone else. Ego is a sureshot way of making suboptimal decisions and repeating mistakes. Eventually it leads to stress and anxiety.

But is ego always bad?

Maybe not, because it is the force which makes us act, often with great confidence. Without ego, we wouldn’t even want to get out of bed, let alone send a man to the Moon or even strive for that promotion or bonus at work. Nobody would ‘start-up’ as the fear of failure would be too large a force to prevent any action.

Why does spirituality condemn the ego then, and is there a way to reconcile this?

Yes, but it would take some effort. Instead of the using the ego to focus only on ourselves, if we can use it to work for others, to ensure society at large is benefited, that would be a win-win. This is why one with ego is under one’s own will, but a realized soul without ego (i.e. ego surrendered) is under God’s/Guru’s will.

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How to be equanimous

How to be equanimous

Published March 3, 2021

One of the mainstays for a liberated life according to the Bhagavad Gita, is samatvam or equanimity. This is also called having sama darshanam or equity in vision, i.e. looking at everything as inherently the same, irrespective of whether it is good or bad, pleasure or pain, joy or sorrow and so on.

To live comfortably and mentally unblemished in the face of criticism, one must begin by eschewing praise. We cannot have the proverbial cake and eat it too. We want equanimity in hardship, but our pleasure receptors shoot through the roof in the slightest hint of praise and recognition.

How can we then practically be equanimous? When the boss says “Wow you’ve done amazing work here, you deserve this promotion!”, do we just scowl at him and walk away? Or do we say “No sir, it wasn’t me.” The boss is then likely to keep the promotion/bonus for himself 🙂

The way prescribed in the scriptures, is ‘surrender’. Surrender with faith, to the divine, or if that’s too abstract, then to the Guru. In Hindi, sur means head. So putting your head under the Guru or ishta devata, offering everything to him or her. Everything means all good and all bad without distinction. So grab that promotion by all means, but mentally prostrate and offer it to your deity of choice. This will keep us grounded, always. Difficult, but worth it.

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DK boss

DK boss

Published March 1, 2021

Look around you. At work, at the gym, in your social media feeds etc. How many people are really really successful and good at something? And how many just make a lot of noise? Okay, identifying this on social media could be hard, because everyone always puts their best foot forward. But is it really possible that everyone around us, is doing super duper amazing work, all the time?

There’s a principle called the Dunning-Kruger effect. It refers to cases where people significantly overstate their abilities, without realizing it, because they are too incompetent in the first place to even realize that they are incapable. Have you come across any such people? Many people? Maybe your boss? Your employee? Your colleagues? Most of your friends? There are so many people in the all talk and no do bucket.

A very simple mistake we can make here though is to solely evaluate others. Pointing fingers at others is too easy. But the above is meant squarely for each one of us, or definitely at least for me. I need to accept that there is much I do not know, much I am not good at – and being humble about it, I can attempt to bridge my ignorance with knowledge, and inability with practice.

Relevant here is one of Albert Einstein’s less referenced quotes. It is simple yet profound, and also a math equation!

1 / Knowledge = Ego

More the knowledge, lesser the ego, and vice versa. How cool is that?

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Compounding experience

Compounding experience

Published January 26, 2021

Here are some simple truths my Guru keeps mentioning. They are so easy to apply but we (or I) still do not.

  1. In Hindi, “Viveki ko anadar mat karna, warna zindagi bhar dukhi rahoge“. This means, if you disrespect a wise person, you will be sorrowful throughout your life. Is this easy to understand? Yes it is. His own example is, between a 2 year old and a 6 year old, who is better for life advice? The parent will always tell the 2yo to learn from the 6yo. But introduce a 10 yo, and automatically the 6yo will learn from the 10yo. Life experiences have a compounding effect, and hence an 80yo (especially a wise person like a Guru) will have a better world view than a 40yo.
  2. Benjamin Franklin’s statement on the same point, but just said differently. “Experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other“

My Guru was no doubt referring to me when he said these things. He continues to say them, which also tells me I have a long way to go. As Robert Frost would say, miles to go before I sleep.

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The Flow

The Flow

Published January 8, 2021

There is an interesting connection I’ve noticed first hand, between some masters and their science-crafts.

The best guidance from Gurus comes when their only goal is the benefit of those who seek their help.

The best readings from astrologers come when they have no ulterior motives.

The best suggestions from palmists come when they take no money in return.

The best nadi analyses from ayurvedic doctors comes when their sole aim is the patient well being.

The best healings from Reiki practitioners come when they tirelessly want their patrons to be rid of all negative energies.

All of these sciences / skills require a certain amount of intuition. Intuition is nothing but the Lord working through us. Said differently, it is the Consciousness within that delivers the appropriate messages utilising the body as an instrument. When the channel is pure, intuition flows. When the channel is blocked by ego / desire / selfishness, there is little room for anything else.

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2021

2021

Published January 1, 2021

A simple but important blog post to ring in the new year. Here are five things for me to work on, so as to get the best from 2021.

  1. Every day, all day, be happy and grateful for everything we already have. Success, money, fame will come automatically.
  2. Zero compromise on health (i.e. proper nutrition and exercise) – for if there’s one thing an invisible virus from 2020 has taught us, it is that without a fit body and mind, everything else is pointless.
  3. Give / donate / help generously and selflessly. This is the only way to purify the mind and intellect. (Why? Because it removes the notion of ego / i-i-i)
  4. Join a satsang and / or actively participate in one. Repeatedly dunking the mind in scriptural knowledge as guided by the Guru and applying it in our lives will fast track our spiritual transformation.
  5. Enjoy every single moment, and look at every stumbling block as an opportunity to improve. As they say, there are no failures, only lessons.

Are these easy to follow? Do you have other things you would like to focus on? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below. All the best for 2021!

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You are the best/worst

You are the best/worst

Published December 6, 2020

Since the day we were born, we have only been trying to please others. Why? Not necessarily for others’ sakes. But because it makes us feel good. We love the support, acknowledgement and adulation.

If we’d said the words ‘mama’ or ‘papa’ correctly, we would have been rewarded with big smiles and claps. If we built nothing more than a vertical tower of a few blocks of toys one on top of the other, we would have been showered with hugs and kisses “Wow! My baby is a genius!”.

In school and college as well, getting appreciated by our teachers and professors, and even by our friends and peers was a big thing. No great shakes then that this continues into professional life too. We don’t mind working weekends and late nights, so that we get the accolades from our bosses, in the hope we will be promoted this year or the next.

Think of any famous person – whether politician or actor or chef. How many people like them? How many people do not like them? Their fan following is often deeply divided.

So, is expecting praise wrong? Not at all. But we have become so conditioned by praise that the lack of it throws us into reverse gear. And even worse? We do not know how to deal with the other extreme, which is sharp criticism. Sure, we must not hurt or criticise others. But on the receiving end, we have no control over what others think or say. One bad comment can lead to fear of the future and in some cases even severe depression. We can help our cause by reminding ourselves that it is okay to receive flak. What is in our control – and hence what we can focus on – is our willingness and action to better ourselves and do good for society and the world.

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Clean up

Clean up

Published December 5, 2020

In the 1980s, my Guru and his wife visited Washington DC. They were staying at the local Iskcon chapter there, paying the 100$-odd fee. Despite no affiliation to that society, the karma yogis that they both were (and still are), they spent all their time being useful to the people there. Guruji’s wife cooked for over 100 people daily, while he washed utensils and cleaned all the toilets. Did anyone ask them to do it? Not at all. Would I do it if presented with the chance? When was the last time I washed utensils or cleaned toilets or cooked for someone else, when visiting a relative’s or friend’s place? Visiting a third-party establishment and performing selfless service is many steps higher. The then President of Iskcon was so impressed by the selfless couple that he beseeched them to move permanently to Washington. Of course that never happened, and thankfully so, else I may have never got to meet my Guru. Even in this matter I can only be selfish!

All spiritual texts carry the same message. Give up attachments and give up desires. If this is done, then ownership of your body and my body and your house and my house and someone else’s toilets ceases to be. Common sense applies of course, but this sort of mental re-programming would aid in spiritual growth as the ego gets progressively subdued.

How does one break free from attachments and desires? By seeing the futility of it all. By realizing that ‘enough’ is only theoretical. It will also help to carve out a part of our lives in the service of others. This physical and mental clean-up will at least partially allow the egotistic ‘I, me , myself’ to be replaced by altruistic thoughts and actions.

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Good to Great, or the reverse

Good to Great, or the reverse

Published December 3, 2020

When Hanuman went to Lanka to rescue Sita, he laid eyes on Ravana for the first time. He described Ravana as “shining like a thousand suns”. He also remarked, “When it comes to greatness, Ravana might well be ahead. But when it comes to goodness, there is no match for Rama!”

Are good and great mutually exclusive? Not, but it is very difficult to combine both. These might explain the difficulty expressed by Scott Fitzgerald’s framework when he talks of having “Two opposing ideas but still retaining the ability to function”. Why? Because greatness gets to the head. The ego swells so much, that there is little room to think of others. Empathy and goodness are replaced by selfishness and greed.

Watching the superb Netflix series Scam 1992 depicts the protagonist Harshad Mehta going through the same conflict. Starting off humbly, and wanting to provide the best for his family, he gets sucked into the world of stock trading. Success after success fuels his ego to such an extent that no amount of wealth and fame is enough. Goodness gets thrown out the window, as fraud after fraud is committed in the quest for greatness.

We must strive for good. Whether great comes or not is irrelevant.

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Accepting praise

Accepting praise

Published December 1, 2020

It feels so good when someone lauds us for something we did. It could be a boss praising us for good work, or colleagues for us getting a promotion, family for us clearing an exam or friends for us winning a match.

Praise is good, but more important is how we handle it. Some people handle it beautifully, graciously. Others – for even inconsequential wins – begin to gloat like they just conquered the universe.

Irrespective of external appearance, the best internal way to accept praise is to immediately attribute the success to someone else. There are two outstanding benefits to this approach.

1. Spiritually, one can attribute the praise to the Lord. We can think that without Him it is impossible to achieve anything. We have neither created nor designed anything here. We merely borrowed what is given by Him, and re-purposed it for our temporary requirements. This helps us because it subdues our ego, which is the single biggest hurdle on the path to liberation.

2. Materially, one can attribute the praise to creation/universe/Gurus/partners/parents/teachers/family/others – only because of whom such a conducive environment was made possible. This helps us because it de-stresses us for the future. We do not have to worry about ‘becoming unravelled as a one-trick pony’, or ‘not being able to replicate the success in future’. Why? Because the success was caused by others, we were only instrumental in it, and we have already passed on our heartfelt gratitude to them.

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Acronyms of a liberated soul

Acronyms of a liberated soul

Published November 29, 2020

Just a fun post this one (aren’t they all!). Here’s how a liberated soul might react to some common acronyms:

ICYMI – In Case You Missed It – “There is nothing to miss, because nothing ever was.”
BRB – Be Right Back – “How can you be so sure? It is all a play of the Supreme”
AFAIK – As Far As I Know – “We know nothing. Even Saraswati says she knows less than 1% of all creation.’
G2G – Got To Go – “What is the hurry? In a 100 years from now, none of us will matter”
BTW – By The Way – “All ways lead only to Him.”
YOLO – You Only Live Once – “Couldn’t be further from the truth.”
OMG – Oh My God – “Why do you exclaim only in times of need? There is nothing besides God”
IMHO – In My Humble Opinion – “I have no opinion, it is all God’s plan and His doing only”
IDK – I Don’t Know – “Yes, you are right on that one”
LOL – Laughing Out Loud – “I’ll join you, because life is fun.”
FAQ – Frequently Asked Questions – “What is Brahman, Aatman, Paramatman, Maya, Moksha?”
DIY – Do It Yourself – “Who else will? You came alone, you will go alone.”

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1+1=?dominos pizza

1+1=?

Published November 18, 2020

Dominos Pizza recently launched a new pizza. My first reaction was “What kind of a weird combination is this?” The same reaction I observed in some of my colleagues / friends / family members as well when it came up for discussion.

The combo was that of pasta and pizza. Or rather pasta on top of the pizza. Who even came up with such an idea?

Of course we know things like “Do not judge a book by its cover” or “Beauty is only skin deep”. But I still couldn’t help but wonder who would have thought up putting this portmanteau of a dish together.

Having tried the pasta-pizza though, I was really surprised at how good it tasted. Not only did each individual dish retain its own flavour, but their synergistic convergence was drool inducing, and had me thinking about eating more slices long after the box had been emptied and thrown away.

So it is, that the whole can always be greater than the sum of its parts, as long as each ingredient gives its best to the mix. This is relevant for people as well. Instead of bringing up ego battles when two stalwarts come together, it is far more beneficial if they work together for mutual and wider benefit. The same goes for us. We each have many many wonderful things to contribute to the world. Why should our ego be one of them?

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Being nobody

Being nobody

Published November 17, 2020

There is only one difference between us and God. That difference, is the ego. The feeling that “I am”.

In material life, all success comes from “I am”. I am – an engineer, a charter holder, an accountant, an architect, a tennis champion, a saxophonist, a movie director, an Oscar winner, an artist, a photographer.

In spiritual life, only failure follows “I am”.

Swami Premananda, one of the foremost disciples of Ramakrishna Paramhamsa, was once told by a younger monk that Premananda was lucky because his Master had “made him great.”. To which Premananda immediately responded: “No! The Master did not make us great, he made us ‘nobodies.’ You also have to become ‘nobodies.’ Wipe out all vanity from the mind. The Master used to say, ‘When the ego dies, all troubles cease.’”

Practically for us, is it possible to live a life giving up our ego completely? Not at all. We will only be trampled underfoot. However, one can give their ego up to their Guru. This would mean doing as the Guru says, no questions asked. This path too is very hard, but at least the Guru is there to take care of us, acting as a safety net at all times. Practising this form of ego deposition at the Guru’s feet is not easy either, but it is perhaps the easiest of the various spiritual paths on offer.

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Why surrender?

Why surrender?

Published July 29, 2020

We often hear about the need to surrender the ego. Spirituality covets it as the highest achievement. Because once that is done, there is no I or me or my, and nirvana has been attained.

While that is indeed a lofty goal, there is one immediate and practical utility.

All our problems stem from the perception that the universe revolves around us. “Oh, if I do not dish out an amazing blog post day after day, then my fans will be disappointed.” Nope – what fans? “Oh, if I do not make the perfect presentation, my employer will shut down”. Nope – no deal was ever clinched solely because of one presentation. “Oh, if I do not top the class, my career will be finished.” Nope – everyone cannot come first, and there is infinitely more to life than firsts and seconds. “Oh, if I do not sing the lead part of this song, my streak will be broken.” Nope – if you give a chance to others instead of hogging the limelight all the time, you will get their blessings. “Oh, if I do not lose 5 kilos, my fiance will leave me.” Nope – because if 5 kilos was all it took for your partner to leave you…

While we must continue to do our best work (in every aspect) day after day, we must also tell ourselves that we are not that important, and that most things really don’t matter. This will help get rid of the insane demands we make of ourselves.

Life is much more than just us. Let us be happy – status quo.

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Oh what a sacrifice!

Oh what a sacrifice!

Published July 7, 2020

So many things in this world are misunderstood and mistreated, simply because we do not take the pains to delve deep enough. Many (pseudo) intellectuals today criticise palmistry, astrology, vastu, ayurveda and various other sciences, and conveniently twist certain extracts to suit their arguments.

“How dare you even call these sciences?!”

Nothing wrong with criticism, as long as the critic has studied the subject in sufficient detail. Chances are, and my personal experience attests to it, that by the time the period of study is complete, even the staunchest disbelievers become converts.

An example of such misunderstanding? The ancient Hindu tradition of animal sacrifices in temples during fire offerings.

In his book on Purusha Suktam, Swami Tejomayananda beautifully clarifies. Animals were never killed at temples. Rather, they would be tied to a pole at the start, and as an offering, they would be set free, i.e. the owner of the animal would ‘sacrifice their ownership‘.

This is key. It is not about the object. Rather it is about relinquishing ownership of the object. The animal would then be free to roam around the village, and would be fed by all villagers with equal reverence. Such a beautiful concept, but misunderstood!

The ultimate goal is to sacrifice our egos. This is considered the pinnacle of self-realisation.

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Wax on, wax off

Wax on, wax off

Published June 19, 2020

In one of my favourite movies The Karate Kid, Daniel comes to Mr. Miyagi to learn martial arts. The master however starts him off on seemingly meaningless chores – like waxing his car (a scene famously called ‘wax on, wax off’), sweeping the floor and painting his house. The student is miffed, what with no connection between karate and these actions. Later on though, he benefits from these repeated actions, having built muscle memory and these translating into excellent karate moves!

Yes this might be Hollywood hyperbole, but there is an important lesson for us.

We are always sure that we know best – for ourselves and those around us. And we think there is only one specific path that leads to the result we seek. So much so that we often stop noticing the signs and subtle hints the world gives us. After a break-up, friends come up and say, “Ya I was going to warn you about that guy – I never felt comfortable around him.” Or after being laid-off, “Hey, I always felt that company was shady – something just didn’t add up.”

The reason we do not catch on, is because our egos are so very inflated. We only hear what we want to. We must surrender the ego, but smartly.

We cannot be foolishly surrendering the ego to those who have no interest in our well being. Because we would then become a doormat and let the whole world trample upon us.

Instead, it would be instantly beneficial to surrender one’s ego to a master, a guru, to God, or to a higher power. This will allow the true divinity inside each one of us to come to the fore.

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King of the world

King of the world

Published June 5, 2020

Our beloved mother earth is rotating on its axis at an gut-wrenching speed of 1,656 km/h. Not just rotating, but at an angle too! With some of us on the sides, some at the top and some at the bottom. Try going 1/10th of that speed, in a merry-go-round – without feeling the gut wrench!

The earth is also moving at a ridiculous speed of 129,600 km/h around the sun. The sun itself (and the solar system) orbits the milky way galaxy at a mind-boggling speed of 828,000 km/h.

But we never feel an iota of this mad rush of the heavenly bodies towards who-knows-where.

Science can explain a lot of these phenomena, but we have no idea about why they happen this way in the first place.

Even at the speed of light, it would take us a 100,000 years to cross over the milky way. And some estimates peg the number of galaxies in our universe to be around 2 trillion. And then apparently there are other universes…

Even to the person with the largest and most inflated ego, these observable facts would lucidly remind them how little control really rests in their hands.

From birth unto death, we don’t spare a single chance to impress our superiority over others. Ironic, that we have created nothing here, but behave as owners.

Yet the true Creator doesn’t boast or gloat, never once even making an appearance. Something to learn perhaps.

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I’m confident. Does that make me egoistic?

I’m confident. Does that make me egoistic?

Published May 27, 2020
  • Self confidence: I can do this.
  • Ego: Only I can do this.
  • Self confidence: This is right.
  • Ego: I am right.
  • Self confidence: This is beneficial to many, including me.
  • Ego: This is beneficial to me alone.
  • Self confidence: My thoughts are more important than my body.
  • Ego: My body is more important than my thoughts.
  • Self confidence: Driven by gratitude of what already is.
  • Ego: Driven by fear of what may be.

Which one would you prefer in others? Which one would you prefer for yourself?

If our focus is on the well-being of others, we need not worry about such definitions.

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I, Me, Myself

I, Me, Myself

Published May 1, 2020

A woman and her 5-year-old son visited a saint. “Sir, I have told my son many times, but he just does not give up eating sweets. I would be forever indebted to you if you could cure him of this problem please”.

The saint remained silent.

The next week, the woman came back with the same request. The saint was silent again.

This repeated for 4 weeks.

On week 5, the saint told her that he would speak to her son. The woman asked him in surprise why it had taken 5 weeks for this. The saint replied, “It took me the last 4 weeks to give up sweets myself!”.

Who are we to pass judgements on others, when we have so little control over our own actions? The focus has to be on our own transformation, not others.

Let us strive daily to be the better husband, wife, mother, father, daughter, son, brother, sister, relative, friend, colleague, boss, employer, employee, teammate.

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