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Forever Happy Now! Posts

DTNT

No, this is not Dynamic TNT, although the message itself is far more explosive.

Someone analyzed the life of Abraham Lincoln. In one particular year, he was going through absolute hell. On the work front, he was absolutely being clobbered. His 11 year old son died. His wife went into depression.

And yet, Abe Lincoln came out successful.

How did he do it?

The answer lies in DTNT.

Do The Next Thing.

Stop being stuck to whatever problem is there, and move on. Do the next thing.

Such simple yet exceptional advice for me!

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Fun for fun’s sake

On a podcast that was discussing happiness, the speaker threw out two normal English words. One was ‘amateur’, and the other was ‘dilettante’.

The meanings of both words is somewhat similar, in that there is interest in a field, but perhaps limited expertise.

The podcast itself was all about how if we do more things that are new and experimental (such as learning a new sport, a new language, a new art or skill etc.), then the chances of being happy are very high. Why? Because while learning these activities, we become engrossed in the moment, and quit complaining about mundane issues.

What I loved then was the etymology of both those words.

Amateur apparently comes from amour, which is to love (your work), and dilettante comes from delight. What fun!

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Pray for what? – part 2 of 2

So what do we pray for then?

Perhaps many things, but what struck me as I was sitting quietly yesterday was the following:

1. Clarity. We are faced with innumerable choices all the time. How do we know which decision to make? Which choice is right? Hence I would pray for clarity, in all aspects of life.

2. Protection. There is so much of negativity all around us. So much of anger and hate and ego and malice. Who is protecting us all the time, if not the grace of the Guru and the blessings of God?

But what do the self-realized souls pray for?

Simply for the well being and happiness of others, always!

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Pray for what? – part 1 of 2

What should we really pray for? We mostly pray for money and promotions and good health and good marks and success in various tasks we set out to do.

Are these the things we should be praying for? Of course, we can pray for anything we want, and no one can force us otherwise.

But all of the above things are purely material and short term, aren’t they? Except health of course. But health too is largely in our hands. If we stuff ourselves with processed garbage that is ubiquitous today, then what will our health be like if not garbage?

So then what else can we pray for?

Concluded tomorrow!

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Wrong-doer

Heard this in a cool TED talk clip. A very strong lesson and takeaway for me.

The speaker had observed children’s habits closely, and shared an anecdote.

In a drawing class, an otherwise uninterested-in-school 6-year-old was keenly drawing something. When the teacher went to the child and asked her what she was drawing, the girl replied, “I’m drawing God”.

To which the teacher said, “But no one knows how God looks like.”

Pat came the reply, “They will, in a minute!”

The takeaway?

Kids don’t care about being wrong. That’s why they learn so much in such a short time, like picking up new languages, without a care in the world of what others think!

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8Rules (part four): The Everlasting Journey of Love

In the concluding chapters from Jay Shetty’s “8 Rules of Love,” we are introduced to a powerful and uplifting perspective on love’s boundless nature. The eighth rule, “Love Again and Again,” is a celebration of love’s infinite potential. Love isn’t a one-time experience or confined to a single chapter of our lives. It is not a finite resource. It’s an ever-evolving journey, filled with countless opportunities to love, learn, and grow.

Shetty encourages us to view love as a continuous process, not limited by past experiences or future apprehensions. Every interaction, every shared moment, and even every setback is an opportunity to practice love. It’s about opening our hearts, breaking down barriers, and embracing the world with renewed passion and hope. Whether it’s the love between partners, the love for a friend, or the love for oneself, every form of love is valuable and transformative.

This rule is a reminder that our capacity to love is limitless. No matter the challenges we’ve faced or the heartbreaks we’ve endured, there’s always room to love again. It’s about recognizing love’s boundless beauty and allowing it to guide us through life’s many twists and turns.

In this boundless journey, every day presents a fresh canvas, allowing us to paint a new chapter in our ever-evolving love story, filled with hope, passion, and endless possibilities.

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8Rules (part three): The Resilience and Renewal of Love

The sixth rule, “Win or Lose Together,” is a testament to the resilience and unity required in love. Relationships aren’t always about sunny days and calm seas; there are storms to weather and challenges to face. But it’s not the challenges themselves that define a relationship; it’s how we face them. Do we let them pull us apart, or do we face them hand in hand, united in our resolve? Jay Shetty emphasizes the importance of solidarity in love. It’s about standing together, supporting each other, and emerging from challenges stronger and more connected.

But what happens when, despite our best efforts, love takes a different turn? The seventh rule, “You Don’t Break in a Breakup,” offers solace and hope. Breakups, while painful, are not the end. They can be a new beginning, a chance for introspection, growth, and self-renewal. Shetty reminds us that endings can also be opportunities. They offer a unique chance to rediscover oneself, to reflect on the relationship, and to prepare for a brighter, more informed future in love.

Together, these rules teach us about the resilience of love and the strength that can be found in both togetherness and endings.

Rule 8, and conclusion tomorrow!

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8Rules (part two): Navigating the Depths of Love

In the continuation of Jay Shetty’s “8 Rules of Love,” we are introduced to the third rule, which challenges our very perception of love. What is love? Is it just a fleeting transient emotion, or is it something deeper, more profound?

Shetty prompts us to “Define Love Before You Think It, Feel It, or Say It.” It’s a call to introspection, urging us to articulate this complex emotion. Love transcends the physical passion and the initial fluttering butterflies. It’s about shared dreams, mutual respect, and a deep, unspoken bond that ties two souls together. Now what you expected no?

As we traverse this path, the fourth rule shines a spotlight on the role of our partners in our love journey. Titled “Your Partner Is Your Guru,” this rule is a testament to the invaluable lessons we glean from our significant others. They become mirrors to our souls, reflecting our strengths, highlighting our vulnerabilities, and constantly pushing us towards personal growth. Through the ups and downs, the joys and challenges, our partners teach us about love, life, and most importantly, about ourselves.

Embracing these lessons can transform our love life into a journey of continuous learning and growth, where every moment spent with our partner becomes an opportunity for self-discovery.

Continued tomorrow, and day after!

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8Rules (part one): The Foundations of Love

In Jay Shetty’s interesting book, “8 Rules of Love,” he delves deep into the intricacies of love, unraveling its many layers.

The first rule he introduces is the significance of solitude. Contrary to popular belief, solitude isn’t about feeling isolated or lonely. Instead, it’s about valuing introspection, taking time to understand oneself, and laying the groundwork for genuine love. Through self-reflection, we discover our deepest desires, confront our fears, and prepare ourselves for the love we truly deserve.

Shetty then introduces the second rule, emphasizing the role of karma in our love lives. Every action we take, every choice we make, and every relationship we’ve had leaves an indelible mark on our souls (across multiple janmas or births I’d think!). These past experiences shape our present and future, influencing how we approach love. Recognizing and understanding this karmic journey is essential. It’s a profound lesson in accountability, teaching us that our past actions, both good and bad, play a pivotal role in our current relationships.

Together, these two rules set the stage for a love that’s both introspective and expansive. They remind us that genuine love starts with understanding oneself and acknowledging the forces that have shaped our love journey.

More rules, tomorrow!

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Secret ingredient

Now I’m no cook. I know next to nothing about the kitchen. A few dishes to survive? Sure, I can whip something up so that I won’t starve. But serve my cooking to others? Wouldn’t do it to my worst enemy even! With that simple disclaimer out of the way, an interesting book is “Masala Lab” by Krish Ashok. And within it lies a tale that resonates with every culinary enthusiast. Readers are gracefully led into a traditional kitchen, where generations-old recipes are passed down with love and care.

As the author meticulously lists the ingredients for a crispy multi-lentil pancake – adai as it is known in South India and specifically in Tamil Nadu – a profound revelation emerges. The grandmother, a character brimming with wisdom, introduces a secret ingredient that transcends the tangible: Patience.

Through this narrative, Ashok captures the essence of cooking as an art, where patience isn’t just a virtue but a vital ingredient. In our modern world, where instant gratification is often sought, this story is a poignant reminder of the timeless values that form the foundation of great cooking, whether in the kitchen, or as a recipe for one’s own success!

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A spider’s tenacity

Stan Lee, the legendary comic creator, once faced skepticism when he pitched an unconventional superhero idea. “I saw a fly on a wall and thought, what if a superhero could stick to walls? And thus Spider-Man was born,” he reminisced.

But challenges awaited. Stan’s vision of a teenage superhero with personal problems was met with stark criticism. “People hate spiders. Teenagers are sidekicks, not protagonists. Superheroes don’t have personal problems,” his publisher retorted.

In a twist of fate, Stan decided to feature Spider-Man in a magazine on the verge of cancellation. The result? Overwhelming success. His publisher, once a critic, now wanted Spider-Man as a series.

Stan’s journey underscores a powerful message. That if we have an idea we genuinely believe in, don’t let naysayers get in the way. In Stan’s words, “Just do your thing. Do it as well as you can. That’s what truly matters.”

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Work perk

On a recent trip to a beautiful but politically-charged place, I couldn’t help but notice the substantial presence of army officers and patrols.

They’ve been placed there for good reason of course.

But my heart went out to them – for their courage and sacrifice, all to keep the rest of the country safe and sound.

Are they different in any way? They too are human. But their postings are in far flung areas, often involving standing for hours together, holding heavy guns, ever ready to thwart a terrorist attack. Do they see family often? Not at all. Do they get to savour relationships? Hardly.

Yes, it is a job, and a very hard one that needs to be done. I cannot do it, as I wouldn’t be able to last a day in their grueling circumstances. But we can pray for them – as my Guru does – for their safety and well being, which is more critical than any other work perk.

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Hagglers

Often I’ve seen well-off folks haggle with poor roadside vendors and hawkers, even for chump change.

To an outsider, it might seem trivial, a petty argument over mere cents. But to the haggler, it seems like a battle worth fighting.

Why would someone do this? Maybe because when our lives lack significant worries, we inflate the importance of trivial matters? We focus on the loose coins of our lives, ignoring the wealth of happiness and peace that surrounds us.

The haggling with roadside vendors is simply a euphemism. There may be many such irrelevant and minor things which take up too much of our time, but which we should perhaps wean away from.

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Granted genius

Many years ago, a young Angela Duckworth (today author of bestselling book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance) heard a phrase that would shape her life. Her father, in his candid manner, would often tell her, “You know, you’re no genius!” This statement, far from discouraging her, sparked a flame of determination. She only saw a challenge to prove him wrong.

Angela’s journey was not an easy one. She faced numerous obstacles and setbacks, but she remained undeterred. She pursued her passion for psychology, eventually becoming a professor at the University of Pennsylvania. There, she dedicated her work to studying grit and self-control, two attributes she believed were critical to success.

Her father’s words echoed in her mind as she delved deeper into her research. She realized that success was not solely dependent on innate talent or intelligence. Instead, it was the result of passion and perseverance, the very qualities she had demonstrated throughout her life.

Angela’s story is a testament to the power of grit. Despite being told she was “no genius”, she went on to win a MacArthur Fellowship, also known as the “Genius Grant” – how ironic isn’t it?

How do we each react in the face of adversity? That’s a good answer to have!

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GP when?

When is Guru Purnima? Depends on the lunar calendar yada yada.

But in this year’s GP celebrations some time ago, a satsangi simply listed the following 3 conditions to figure out if we are on Guru Purnima day or not.

1. We feel the grace of the Guru around us

2. We feel gratitude for the blessings of our Guru

3. We are engaged in some activity which involves remembrance of the Guru

The beauty of these 3 conditions is that every single day can be Guru Purnima… and so it should!

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The Laws of Human Nature – part 6 of 6

Continuing the last 3 laws/takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Aimlessness – Without a clear purpose or direction, we drift through life. We must find our life’s aim and pursue it with determination.
  2. The Law of Self-NarcissismSelf-love can blind us to our faults. We need to be aware of our own narcissism and strive for a more balanced self-image.
  3. The Law of RashnessActing without thinking can lead to disaster. We should take time to reflect before making decisions, especially important ones.

    That’s a wrap – an excellent and big book of 18 laws summarized into a few lines. Hope you enjoyed reading, and find the applications useful in daily life!
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 5 of 6

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of FlatteryFlattery can be a powerful tool, but it must be used wisely. Insincere or excessive praise can be seen as manipulative.
  2. The Law of Grandiosity Overestimating our abilities can lead to dangerous overconfidence. We need to stay grounded and realistic in our self-assessment.
  3. The Law of Gender RigidityGender roles can limit our understanding of ourselves and others. We must embrace the full range of human qualities within us, regardless of gender.

    Continued tomorrow…
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 4 of 6

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Infection – Emotions are contagious. We are influenced by the moods and ideas of the people we spend time with. We need to be mindful of the company we keep and the ideologies we adopt.
  2. The Law of the Endless ChainEvery action has consequences that extend far beyond the immediate moment. If we understand the chain of cause and effect, we can better predict and control the future.
  3. The Law of Non-EngagementSometimes, the best way to win is not to fight. We can avoid getting emotionally entangled in other people’s problems and conflicts.

    Continued tomorrow…
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 3 of 6

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of DefensivenessThis chapter discusses the human tendency to become defensive when challenged. It advises us to be aware of this trait and to use it to our advantage in conflict and negotiation situations.
  2. The Law of Self-SabotageThis law highlights the human tendency to sabotage our own success due to fear and insecurity. It encourages us to recognize and overcome these self-defeating behaviours.
  3. The Law of RepressionThis law discusses the human tendency to repress uncomfortable emotions and memories. It advises us to confront and process these feelings to achieve emotional health and stability.

    Continued tomorrow…
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 2 of 6

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Compulsive BehaviourThis law discusses the repetitive patterns in human behavior. It encourages us to recognize these patterns in ourselves and others, and to use this knowledge to predict future behaviour.
  2. The Law of CovetousnessThis chapter discusses the human tendency to desire what others have. It advises us to be aware of this trait and to use it to our advantage in negotiations and power dynamics.
  3. The Law of ShortsightednessThis law highlights the human tendency to focus on immediate gains rather than long-term benefits. It encourages us to think ahead and consider the long-term consequences of our actions.

    As we can see, each law is relevant and power-packed, and the gist is contained above. It just needs some thoughtful reflection and conscious work for self-transformation. Continued tomorrow…
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