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Tag: give up desires

Conversion test

Conversion test

Published July 15, 2021

We know that we must curb our desires. Because desires are like itches. The more we scratch them, the more they itch.

So we must then reduce our desires. But can we really reduce them all the way to zero?

How can we live our lives if we have no desires at all? There are two ways, one advanced, and the other super-advanced šŸ™‚

  1. Here’s the advanced way – shubhecha = shubh + iccha = good desires. Desiring good for the country, for society, for others, for family, for the greater good.
  2. And here’s the super advanced way – Leaving all desires to the will of the Guru / God.

However, for most of us, desires will still be part and parcel of our daily lives. Here’s a quick tip. Try and see if the desire can be converted into a duty. If it can, then it is probably a good desire, and worth keeping.

Examples? Wanting to shop every weekend at a mall for luxury items. Desire? Indeed. Can it be converted into a duty? Not really. However, wanting to ensure the kids in your neighbourhood get a good education, and so you desire to organize weekly classes for them. Desire? Yes. Can it be converted into a duty? Most certainly, and your society will thank you for it.

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Angrrr

Angrrr

Published June 30, 2021

Here’s a thought on anger management. Many people believe they cannot stop being angry. However, when they scrutinize their own lives, they will realize that in front of their own family at home, they quickly fly off the handle every now and then. However the very same person, in front of his/her boss or an even higher superior – manages to stay calm, gritting and grinding their teeth, often in far worse circumstances than those presented at home.

One argument is that in the workplace, we are paid a salary, and a part of that goes towards handling such bouts of anger. That may be true to some extent. But imagine being put in front of the leader of your district / state / country / someone you respect. Of course you would not lose your temper in front of them – even though there is no payment!

The argument supporting anger-towards-one’s-family goes, “But hey they are my loved ones, and it’s only because I care so much that I get angry with them!” But think about it – if you truly loved them, why would you lose your temper on them? Would we want anyone to lose their temper on us? Also, if a cute little 3 month old baby pees or poops on us, do we lose our temper and beat the child up?

The Gita states definitively that anger comes from unfulfilled desire which in turn springs from attachment. The question is not about whether there is more anger when dealing with loved ones versus less when faced with others. If we can control anger in one case, surely we can control it in the other? The focus of all our scriptures and of spirituality itself, is always us – we ourselves. Of an internal transformation, not by chance, but by deliberate choice.

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Now, never, later

Now, never, later

Published August 27, 2020

A mother was extremely worried about her child. She prayed to God for him. “Oh my poor baby, he’s been having it so hard these days. He deserves so much more. And he’s so good at heart too!”, she thought to herself. The lady had just celebrated her 90th birthday, and her ‘child’, at the age of 68, was on the verge of retirement.

Granted, that parents are perennially worried about their children, and mothers more so. But to what extent is this warranted, one would ask? Especially because on the spiritual path, we are told to keep curbs on our desires and attachments. When should one start enforcing some control?

The right answer will always be ‘now’. Why now? Simple. Because ‘later’ never comes!

We were perfectly happy with our own toy cars and dolls. Until one day the neighbour’s kid showed off her bigger toy. And then we wanted that bigger toy. Then we went to school and found others with so many things we didn’t have. We lived through all that, and then wanted a good education – “top college”, we thought. Getting in wasn’t enough – we had to live up to the competition. Including getting a top job from campus placement, with the best salary. But even that wasn’t adequate, because there were others who were better. And then we started working, and a few peers started getting married and then their kids came about. “How about my own marriage? Will it ever happen?” And you kept hearing all those talks about all the kids in all the parties. Oh isn’t that a different tangent altogether? Kids kindergarten, kids nanny, kids playtime, kids this kids that. Now one would have to desire for them too! All too soon, you’re 65 and about to retire. “I’ll give my desires up soon. I’m almost at the end only. Just one last major one – once I get to see my grandson start going to school, that’ll be it. And my grand daughter too!” The 90 year old lady was going to give up her desires soon as well.

This is an endless loop. Remember, the answer is ‘now’, not later.

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Commonly uncommon

Commonly uncommon

Published August 10, 2020

At first, all this spiritual talk about everyone being the same, the Brahman, will seem like nonsense. This stage of denial is safe.

Close to the finish line – it will dawn – through the reality of experience. This exposure is safe too.

In between though, is the most dangerous. This is the stage of the half-truth. A seeker will under delusion apparently see himself in everything and everything in himself. And then calmly present his head between a crocodile’s jaws, or his entire body to a pack of hunting lions. Or side with murderers, or worse. “But they are all Brahman, aren’t they?” This is where common sense becomes so essential. Spirituality is only relevant when the aspirant is alive.

All of this talk of the soul deep down being the same, is certainly correct, but often incomplete in application. One must use the mind, and then go beyond it. Easier said than done, and largely just a play of words. In practical application, there are two things to focus on, to make the highest goal attainable:
1. Reduce, and eventually give up desires.
2. Reduce, and eventually give up attachments.

The rest will happen automatically, say those who have experienced.

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