When are our minds crystal clear for decision making? When we are making decisions for others!
Think about it. Your best friend is in deep trouble in his relationship. Your advice comes pat, “Leave her, she’s not the one for you. She does not share your core values.” Or the new neighbour who has been struggling to gel with the others in the society. “Hey, why don’t you invite them over for lunch this weekend? They will get to know you better, and it will cement your place in our group.” There are also the slightly obese ones to whom we are able to easily say, “Boss, your eating habits are terrible. You need to stop drinking 3 cans of coke a day, start including some salad in your meals, and go for a run.” If someone comes to us for business / job advice, our minds are quickly able to put together relevant and useful solutions. “My suggestion is, you write directly to the HR head. Reach out via Linkedin, not via email. Mention your years of experience upfront. Also speak to this guy I know from before – he will definitely connect you.”
Haven’t we all experienced this? Unimaginable clarity, when it comes to helping others.
Then why do we struggle to help ourselves the same way, when we are each so capable? Because of our desires and attachments to the end goals we think we deserve. These delude us, and prevent us from taking the right decisions. What is the way out? To remove the ego, and be honest to ourselves and those around us. Not honest from a ‘speaking the truth’ point of view. But honest from the view that ‘we must see the reality for what it is’.
It would also help to surround ourselves with people who will call a spade a spade. Because just like we so easily help others, others too will find it easy to help us. Win-win!