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Month: August 2023

8Rules (part one): The Foundations of Love

8Rules (part one): The Foundations of Love

Published August 31, 2023

In Jay Shetty’s interesting book, “8 Rules of Love,” he delves deep into the intricacies of love, unraveling its many layers.

The first rule he introduces is the significance of solitude. Contrary to popular belief, solitude isn’t about feeling isolated or lonely. Instead, it’s about valuing introspection, taking time to understand oneself, and laying the groundwork for genuine love. Through self-reflection, we discover our deepest desires, confront our fears, and prepare ourselves for the love we truly deserve.

Shetty then introduces the second rule, emphasizing the role of karma in our love lives. Every action we take, every choice we make, and every relationship we’ve had leaves an indelible mark on our souls (across multiple janmas or births I’d think!). These past experiences shape our present and future, influencing how we approach love. Recognizing and understanding this karmic journey is essential. It’s a profound lesson in accountability, teaching us that our past actions, both good and bad, play a pivotal role in our current relationships.

Together, these two rules set the stage for a love that’s both introspective and expansive. They remind us that genuine love starts with understanding oneself and acknowledging the forces that have shaped our love journey.

More rules, tomorrow!

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Secret ingredient

Secret ingredient

Published August 30, 2023

Now I’m no cook. I know next to nothing about the kitchen. A few dishes to survive? Sure, I can whip something up so that I won’t starve. But serve my cooking to others? Wouldn’t do it to my worst enemy even! With that simple disclaimer out of the way, an interesting book is “Masala Lab” by Krish Ashok. And within it lies a tale that resonates with every culinary enthusiast. Readers are gracefully led into a traditional kitchen, where generations-old recipes are passed down with love and care.

As the author meticulously lists the ingredients for a crispy multi-lentil pancake – adai as it is known in South India and specifically in Tamil Nadu – a profound revelation emerges. The grandmother, a character brimming with wisdom, introduces a secret ingredient that transcends the tangible: Patience.

Through this narrative, Ashok captures the essence of cooking as an art, where patience isn’t just a virtue but a vital ingredient. In our modern world, where instant gratification is often sought, this story is a poignant reminder of the timeless values that form the foundation of great cooking, whether in the kitchen, or as a recipe for one’s own success!

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A spider’s tenacity

A spider’s tenacity

Published August 29, 2023

Stan Lee, the legendary comic creator, once faced skepticism when he pitched an unconventional superhero idea. “I saw a fly on a wall and thought, what if a superhero could stick to walls? And thus Spider-Man was born,” he reminisced.

But challenges awaited. Stan’s vision of a teenage superhero with personal problems was met with stark criticism. “People hate spiders. Teenagers are sidekicks, not protagonists. Superheroes don’t have personal problems,” his publisher retorted.

In a twist of fate, Stan decided to feature Spider-Man in a magazine on the verge of cancellation. The result? Overwhelming success. His publisher, once a critic, now wanted Spider-Man as a series.

Stan’s journey underscores a powerful message. That if we have an idea we genuinely believe in, don’t let naysayers get in the way. In Stan’s words, “Just do your thing. Do it as well as you can. That’s what truly matters.”

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Work perk

Work perk

Published August 28, 2023

On a recent trip to a beautiful but politically-charged place, I couldn’t help but notice the substantial presence of army officers and patrols.

They’ve been placed there for good reason of course.

But my heart went out to them – for their courage and sacrifice, all to keep the rest of the country safe and sound.

Are they different in any way? They too are human. But their postings are in far flung areas, often involving standing for hours together, holding heavy guns, ever ready to thwart a terrorist attack. Do they see family often? Not at all. Do they get to savour relationships? Hardly.

Yes, it is a job, and a very hard one that needs to be done. I cannot do it, as I wouldn’t be able to last a day in their grueling circumstances. But we can pray for them – as my Guru does – for their safety and well being, which is more critical than any other work perk.

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Hagglers

Hagglers

Published August 27, 2023

Often I’ve seen well-off folks haggle with poor roadside vendors and hawkers, even for chump change.

To an outsider, it might seem trivial, a petty argument over mere cents. But to the haggler, it seems like a battle worth fighting.

Why would someone do this? Maybe because when our lives lack significant worries, we inflate the importance of trivial matters? We focus on the loose coins of our lives, ignoring the wealth of happiness and peace that surrounds us.

The haggling with roadside vendors is simply a euphemism. There may be many such irrelevant and minor things which take up too much of our time, but which we should perhaps wean away from.

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Granted genius

Granted genius

Published August 26, 2023

Many years ago, a young Angela Duckworth (today author of bestselling book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance) heard a phrase that would shape her life. Her father, in his candid manner, would often tell her, “You know, you’re no genius!” This statement, far from discouraging her, sparked a flame of determination. She only saw a challenge to prove him wrong.

Angela’s journey was not an easy one. She faced numerous obstacles and setbacks, but she remained undeterred. She pursued her passion for psychology, eventually becoming a professor at the University of Pennsylvania. There, she dedicated her work to studying grit and self-control, two attributes she believed were critical to success.

Her father’s words echoed in her mind as she delved deeper into her research. She realized that success was not solely dependent on innate talent or intelligence. Instead, it was the result of passion and perseverance, the very qualities she had demonstrated throughout her life.

Angela’s story is a testament to the power of grit. Despite being told she was “no genius”, she went on to win a MacArthur Fellowship, also known as the “Genius Grant” – how ironic isn’t it?

How do we each react in the face of adversity? That’s a good answer to have!

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GP when?

GP when?

Published August 25, 2023

When is Guru Purnima? Depends on the lunar calendar yada yada.

But in this year’s GP celebrations some time ago, a satsangi simply listed the following 3 conditions to figure out if we are on Guru Purnima day or not.

1. We feel the grace of the Guru around us

2. We feel gratitude for the blessings of our Guru

3. We are engaged in some activity which involves remembrance of the Guru

The beauty of these 3 conditions is that every single day can be Guru Purnima… and so it should!

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The Laws of Human Nature – part 6 of 6

The Laws of Human Nature – part 6 of 6

Published August 24, 2023

Continuing the last 3 laws/takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Aimlessness – Without a clear purpose or direction, we drift through life. We must find our life’s aim and pursue it with determination.
  2. The Law of Self-Narcissism – Self-love can blind us to our faults. We need to be aware of our own narcissism and strive for a more balanced self-image.
  3. The Law of Rashness – Acting without thinking can lead to disaster. We should take time to reflect before making decisions, especially important ones.

    That’s a wrap – an excellent and big book of 18 laws summarized into a few lines. Hope you enjoyed reading, and find the applications useful in daily life!
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 5 of 6

The Laws of Human Nature – part 5 of 6

Published August 23, 2023

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Flattery – Flattery can be a powerful tool, but it must be used wisely. Insincere or excessive praise can be seen as manipulative.
  2. The Law of Grandiosity – Overestimating our abilities can lead to dangerous overconfidence. We need to stay grounded and realistic in our self-assessment.
  3. The Law of Gender Rigidity – Gender roles can limit our understanding of ourselves and others. We must embrace the full range of human qualities within us, regardless of gender.

    Continued tomorrow…
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 4 of 6

The Laws of Human Nature – part 4 of 6

Published August 22, 2023

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Infection – Emotions are contagious. We are influenced by the moods and ideas of the people we spend time with. We need to be mindful of the company we keep and the ideologies we adopt.
  2. The Law of the Endless Chain – Every action has consequences that extend far beyond the immediate moment. If we understand the chain of cause and effect, we can better predict and control the future.
  3. The Law of Non-Engagement – Sometimes, the best way to win is not to fight. We can avoid getting emotionally entangled in other people’s problems and conflicts.

    Continued tomorrow…
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 3 of 6

The Laws of Human Nature – part 3 of 6

Published August 21, 2023

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Defensiveness – This chapter discusses the human tendency to become defensive when challenged. It advises us to be aware of this trait and to use it to our advantage in conflict and negotiation situations.
  2. The Law of Self-Sabotage – This law highlights the human tendency to sabotage our own success due to fear and insecurity. It encourages us to recognize and overcome these self-defeating behaviours.
  3. The Law of Repression – This law discusses the human tendency to repress uncomfortable emotions and memories. It advises us to confront and process these feelings to achieve emotional health and stability.

    Continued tomorrow…
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 2 of 6

The Laws of Human Nature – part 2 of 6

Published August 20, 2023

Continuing the takeaways from the book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene.

  1. The Law of Compulsive Behaviour – This law discusses the repetitive patterns in human behavior. It encourages us to recognize these patterns in ourselves and others, and to use this knowledge to predict future behaviour.
  2. The Law of Covetousness – This chapter discusses the human tendency to desire what others have. It advises us to be aware of this trait and to use it to our advantage in negotiations and power dynamics.
  3. The Law of Shortsightedness – This law highlights the human tendency to focus on immediate gains rather than long-term benefits. It encourages us to think ahead and consider the long-term consequences of our actions.

    As we can see, each law is relevant and power-packed, and the gist is contained above. It just needs some thoughtful reflection and conscious work for self-transformation. Continued tomorrow…
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The Laws of Human Nature – part 1 of 6

The Laws of Human Nature – part 1 of 6

Published August 19, 2023

There’s a very interesting book called the Laws of Human Nature by author Robert Greene. What is the book about? Well, the title is obviously a bit of a giveaway. And it is very detailed and profound. So I thought to summarize the takeaways from each of the 18 laws in it. And we’ll do it using another rule – the rule of 3s, because it is said that the human mind can’t remember or digest more than 3 things at once!

  1. The Law of Irrationality – This law emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and rationality. Our emotions make us irrational. So the law encourages us to understand our emotions and biases, and to use this understanding to make more rational decisions.
  2. The Law of Narcissism – This law highlights the human tendency towards self-obsession and the need for validation. It advises us to be aware of this trait in ourselves and others, and to use it to our advantage in social situations.
  3. The Law of Role-playing – This chapter discusses the importance of understanding the roles people play in society. It encourages us to see beyond these roles to understand people’s true intentions and motivations.

    Continued tomorrow…
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Shooting for the loon

Shooting for the loon

Published August 18, 2023

It’s outstanding that India was able to send a rocket and rover to the Moon for less than a hundred mil. This when other countries have done it for billions. Of course there are differences in the way the launch was planned and the time taken to reach the destination. But this is, after all, truly rocket science, and I’m surely not a rocket scientist, not even a scientist.

But what struck me as amazing was how all the rocket scientists at ISRO prayed at various temples before the launch.

Why should they pray? They are people of science no? They are more scientists than many other classes of scientists perhaps. They can’t get away from anything like I do by saying, “Hey this is rocket science!”

They pray perhaps because despite knowing so much about science, they still acknowledge that there is too much they do not know. And a billion things that they cannot control. The prayer gives them strength and hope. It may or may not give them a successful rocket mission. But it wouldn’t matter, because they would always be giving their best, no matter the outcome.

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Self studying or studying self?

Self studying or studying self?

Published August 17, 2023

Each life unfolds like a rich tapestry of truths, some steadfast and others transient, reflecting our evolving understanding. Wisdom from the Rig Ved encapsulates this beautifully— ‘Ekam sad vipra bahudha vadanti’, implying the truth is singular, but the learned describe it in countless ways.

Life, in essence, showcases our judgments— floating like transient bubbles on water’s surface— as reality. Yet, with time, we discern the difference between our ephemeral judgments and enduring truth.

This understanding paves the way for ‘swadhyay’, a profound practice of self-study. It’s not just about immersing oneself in scriptures, but about diving deep within, studying our own ‘self’. As we throw light on our inner consciousness, we unlock our true essence, realizing the singular truth within us.

Swadhyay aids our transformation, shedding light on our evolution— from past notions to growing wisdom, from rigid patterns to adaptive behaviors, from a defined sense of belonging to its dynamic expansion. It facilitates our blossoming, guiding us towards an enlightened state of existence.

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The Pratfall Effect

The Pratfall Effect

Published August 16, 2023

Think perfection is good? Think others will like you if you are perfect?

In Jonah Berger’s insightful book “Magic Words”, he introduces us to a fascinating psychological phenomenon known as the “Pratfall Effect”. This concept revolves around the idea that our minor blunders and mishaps can actually enhance our likability.

Berger illustrates this concept through an intriguing experiment. A group of students were introduced to a trivia contestant (an actor in reality). This contestant was portrayed in two different scenarios – as highly competent, answering most quiz questions correctly, and as less impressive, answering only a few correctly. In both scenarios, the contestant clumsily spilled coffee on his suit.

The results were surprising. The competent contestant, despite his blunder, became more likable. His mistake humanized him, making him more relatable and endearing. This is the essence of the Pratfall Effect. It shows us that our imperfections can be our assets, making us more human and approachable.

So, the next time you stumble or make a mistake, remember the Pratfall Effect. It’s these little imperfections that make us who we are, and often, they make us more likable. So we can embrace our pratfalls oops I mean pitfalls, for they are a part of our unique charm, while always working on our competence of course!

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Love-it Post-it

Love-it Post-it

Published August 15, 2023

In the realm of innovation, sometimes the most groundbreaking ideas come from the most unexpected places. Take the humble Post-it note, for instance. This ubiquitous tool, found in offices and homes worldwide, was born out of a ‘mistake’.

Spencer Silver, a chemist at 3M, was on a mission to create a super-strong adhesive for the aerospace industry. But, as life would have it, he ended up with a weak, pressure-sensitive adhesive that could be easily removed. It was far from what he intended, but Silver knew he had stumbled upon something unique.

For five years, he championed his ‘failed’ experiment within 3M, sharing his discovery in formal presentations and casual water cooler conversations. Yet, no one knew what to do with it. It was a solution waiting for a problem to solve.

Enter Art Fry, another 3M scientist, who attended one of Silver’s seminars. Fry, a choir singer, was grappling with a minor yet nagging issue – his bookmarks kept falling out of his hymnal. Eureka! What if he could use Silver’s adhesive on his bookmarks? They would stick without causing any damage. He tried it, and voila, it worked!

The Post-it note was born, not out of a meticulously planned project, but from a ‘failed’ experiment and a choir singer’s frustration. Maybe making mistakes and getting frustrated could be our recipe towards the next great thing – who knows!

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Primal Desire

Primal Desire

Published August 14, 2023

In an enlightening podcast by Dr. Vineet Aggarwal, an expert on spirituality, he shares a profound explanation of life’s beginnings and the purpose of existence. It’s a journey into the heart of our ancient scriptures, the Puranas, which speak of a ‘Primal Desire’. This desire is not about possession or control, but a divine yearning to multiply, to expand.

Consider this – why is companionship sought? Or after finding companionship, why do couples decide to have children? The presence of another enriches life, allows the experience of love in its purest form. The scriptures say that God is the essence of love, not a stern taskmaster as often portrayed, but the embodiment of pure, unconditional love.

To experience this love, to truly revel in its depth and beauty, there needs to be ‘another’. Love is a salsa that requires a partner. It’s in this divine dance of love that individual beings come into existence.

God, in His/Her infinite love, manifests as multiple beings, each a unique expression of this divine love. This Primal Desire to experience love is at the heart of creation.

So, when pondering the purpose of existence, we might do well to remember this – born out of love, living to experience love, and in love, finding purpose. Not merely creations of the divine, but expressions of divine love.

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Tabling the conversation

Tabling the conversation

Published August 13, 2023

Once upon a time, in the magical world of Pixar, there was a long, skinny table. This table, the silent observer of countless meetings, had a secret power. It shaped the dynamics of the discussions that took place around it.

The folks at Pixar, led by the visionary Ed Catmull, believed in the power of unhindered communication. But they soon realized that their table was playing tricks on them. Those sitting at the ends felt like their voices didn’t matter, while the ones in the middle seats seemed to have an unfair advantage. The table was creating a hierarchy that was contrary to Pixar’s core belief.

Ed decided to challenge the status quo. He replaced the long, skinny table with a more intimate square version, where everyone could interact equally. And just like that, the table lost its secret power, which was a great thing. The conversations became more inclusive, and the ideas flowed freely.

But old habits die hard. The place cards, symbols of the old hierarchy, still adorned the new table. It took the audacious act of Andrew Stanton, one of Pixar’s directors, to finally break this tradition. He shuffled the place cards, declaring, “We don’t need these anymore!” And with that, the last vestiges of the old hierarchy vanished.

This tale from Pixar’s early days is telling of how our environment subtly shapes our interactions. It also teaches us that solving a problem isn’t just about addressing the main issue. It’s about uprooting all the smaller problems that sprout from it.

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Oh my G

Oh my G

Published August 12, 2023

We watched the Bollywood movie Oh My God or OMG again today, just like that. The movie is a profound exploration of our relationship with divinity. It challenges us to rethink our understanding of religion and spirituality, using the protagonist, Kanji, as our guide.

One of the most powerful dialogues in the movie is when Kanji says, “I don’t reject God, I reject the God that you have created.”

This is a stark reminder that God is not a commodity to be bought and sold, but a divine presence to be felt and experienced, and available to all.

Kanji’s journey is a testament to the power of faith, not in rituals or idols, but in the goodness of our hearts. As he says, “God is everywhere, but people say he is only in the temple.” This dialogue underscores the message that God is not confined to places of worship, but resides in every act of kindness and love.

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