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Category: motivation

The SHIELD to happiness

Was watching a video by an enthusiastic and energetic 75-years young Alvin Foo. The gentleman was asked how he maintains such good health. And his answer was golden. He said he lives his life by the acronym SHIELD. What is SHIELD?

“S” for Sleep: 7 hours. Prioritize rest, allowing the body and mind renewal for each day’s vigor.

“H” for Handling Stress: such as via meditation to conquer challenges with a calm mind.

“I” for Interaction: Cultivating relationships (friends and family) to uplift and dispel isolation.

“E” for Exercise: Keeping agile and energetic by embracing movement you enjoy.

“L” for Learn: Fueling your mind with new knowledge, keeping curiosity alive.

“D” for Diet: Nourishing your body with vitality-enhancing foods.

Simple and doable!

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Real reality

  • The recipe is not the dish.
  • The plan is not the journey.
  • The blueprint is not the building.
  • The script is not the performance.
  • The idea is not the execution.
  • The schedule is not the event.
  • The description is not the experience

What do these mean?

That at some point, no matter all the theory, it is only practice and execution that counts! A good lesson for me.

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Wrong-doer

Heard this in a cool TED talk clip. A very strong lesson and takeaway for me.

The speaker had observed children’s habits closely, and shared an anecdote.

In a drawing class, an otherwise uninterested-in-school 6-year-old was keenly drawing something. When the teacher went to the child and asked her what she was drawing, the girl replied, “I’m drawing God”.

To which the teacher said, “But no one knows how God looks like.”

Pat came the reply, “They will, in a minute!”

The takeaway?

Kids don’t care about being wrong. That’s why they learn so much in such a short time, like picking up new languages, without a care in the world of what others think!

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A spider’s tenacity

Stan Lee, the legendary comic creator, once faced skepticism when he pitched an unconventional superhero idea. “I saw a fly on a wall and thought, what if a superhero could stick to walls? And thus Spider-Man was born,” he reminisced.

But challenges awaited. Stan’s vision of a teenage superhero with personal problems was met with stark criticism. “People hate spiders. Teenagers are sidekicks, not protagonists. Superheroes don’t have personal problems,” his publisher retorted.

In a twist of fate, Stan decided to feature Spider-Man in a magazine on the verge of cancellation. The result? Overwhelming success. His publisher, once a critic, now wanted Spider-Man as a series.

Stan’s journey underscores a powerful message. That if we have an idea we genuinely believe in, don’t let naysayers get in the way. In Stan’s words, “Just do your thing. Do it as well as you can. That’s what truly matters.”

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The Pratfall Effect

Think perfection is good? Think others will like you if you are perfect?

In Jonah Berger’s insightful book “Magic Words”, he introduces us to a fascinating psychological phenomenon known as the “Pratfall Effect”. This concept revolves around the idea that our minor blunders and mishaps can actually enhance our likability.

Berger illustrates this concept through an intriguing experiment. A group of students were introduced to a trivia contestant (an actor in reality). This contestant was portrayed in two different scenarios – as highly competent, answering most quiz questions correctly, and as less impressive, answering only a few correctly. In both scenarios, the contestant clumsily spilled coffee on his suit.

The results were surprising. The competent contestant, despite his blunder, became more likable. His mistake humanized him, making him more relatable and endearing. This is the essence of the Pratfall Effect. It shows us that our imperfections can be our assets, making us more human and approachable.

So, the next time you stumble or make a mistake, remember the Pratfall Effect. It’s these little imperfections that make us who we are, and often, they make us more likable. So we can embrace our pratfalls oops I mean pitfalls, for they are a part of our unique charm, while always working on our competence of course!

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Tabling the conversation

Once upon a time, in the magical world of Pixar, there was a long, skinny table. This table, the silent observer of countless meetings, had a secret power. It shaped the dynamics of the discussions that took place around it.

The folks at Pixar, led by the visionary Ed Catmull, believed in the power of unhindered communication. But they soon realized that their table was playing tricks on them. Those sitting at the ends felt like their voices didn’t matter, while the ones in the middle seats seemed to have an unfair advantage. The table was creating a hierarchy that was contrary to Pixar’s core belief.

Ed decided to challenge the status quo. He replaced the long, skinny table with a more intimate square version, where everyone could interact equally. And just like that, the table lost its secret power, which was a great thing. The conversations became more inclusive, and the ideas flowed freely.

But old habits die hard. The place cards, symbols of the old hierarchy, still adorned the new table. It took the audacious act of Andrew Stanton, one of Pixar’s directors, to finally break this tradition. He shuffled the place cards, declaring, “We don’t need these anymore!” And with that, the last vestiges of the old hierarchy vanished.

This tale from Pixar’s early days is telling of how our environment subtly shapes our interactions. It also teaches us that solving a problem isn’t just about addressing the main issue. It’s about uprooting all the smaller problems that sprout from it.

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Does experience count?

Yes and no.

Not a good enough answer? I couldn’t agree more!

Someone asked this question on an Adam Grant podcast recently, and I thought the answer was brilliant.

Does experience matter? Of course it does. Someone with a few years of experience in pretty much anything will probably at least be less worse than if they were starting a job completely afresh.

But can this be extrapolated to mean that someone with say 20 years of experience is necessarily better than someone with only 5?

Here’s where the answer was outstanding. And the answer is “no”. How? Because as Adam concluded, it is not about the experience itself that matters, but reflecting on the experience which brings about the transformation. And that is all that counts.

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Chill to thrill

Feeling swamped under a pile of tasks? Experiencing stress from information overload? In such times, Cal Newport’s “Deep Work” suggests an inviting solution – let’s disconnect to reconnect. We can step aside, immerse ourselves in gardening, yoga, or cooking.

Such calming pursuits provide a necessary interlude, allowing our minds to recharge and reboot. When we return to the task at hand, it’s not unusual to find fresh perspectives dawning.

Remember Newton’s epiphany under the apple tree? A moment of leisure birthed a profound scientific insight.

Thus, we should not hesitate to step out of our routine grind. By opening ourselves to the unexpected (or even just setting aside time for the mundane walks and baths), we pave the way for creativity to flourish.

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The art of praising

Is praise always good? Yes it is, because it is better than criticising someone or complaining about someone.

But is there a good way and a bad way to praise someone? Yes there is apparently.

An example is while praising kids. Singling out one kid and praising that kid alone for a correct answer is a bad way. Why? Because the kid feels rewarded for his knowledge of that one answer. This is good, but no one knows everything. At the same time, the other kids who may not have have known that one answer will feel left out.

A better way of praising is to acknowledge and call out the behaviour and the effort. Such as commending them for participating in the class. Or praising the effort required to read up before the class. By focusing on the behaviours and efforts, the praise is far more sustainable too. Because it reinforces the need to continue such good behaviour, not just in that one person, but in everyone around them. And while one answer everyone may not know, a behaviour everyone can cultivate and effort – everyone can put in!

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Dancy dancy

Many toddlers love the idea of dancy dancy. Just dancing or prancing around or bum-shaking to some beats or music as though no one is watching. Ah, the bliss, even just for a watching passerby.

On the flip side, I can’t shake a leg even if held at gunpoint. The ear-limb coordination just does not exist. But my mind in this respect is as though of a different breed. It can dance all day and all night, and sway to pretty much any tune. Gossip somewhere? Okay let’s dance in that direction. Breaking news somewhere else? Okay let’s shimmy toward there now.

Indeed my mind might be the greatest dancer of all, never once sitting still. Which might sound like a contender for the Guinness Book of World Records, but on the path of meditation, it might score the lowest.

What is the solution? I have no idea. But maybe Osho’s thoughts below leave a clue?

Meditation is not anything of the mind, it is something beyond the mind. The first step is to be playful about it. It is a song to be sung, a dance to be danced. Take it as fun and you will be surprised: if you can be playful about meditation, meditation will grow in leaps and bounds... 
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Rejection dejection

All rejections are bad right? Maybe not…

The founders of Google wanted to sell the company for $1 million back in 1999. But they were rejected, and dejected. Today that company is worth some $1.5 trillion!

Netflix was to be sold to Blockbuster at $50m, but was rejected. Today it’s ~$200bn!

7 out of 7 investors rejected investing in Airbnb at an early stage. The company was worth not even a million. Today it’s some $100bn.

If these companies had not received their rejections, what would have happened?

Time to believe that rejections and suffering and pain are good, not bad, maybe even great. Because that is when the real growth happens.

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Get down

My Guru narrated an outstanding short story on Guru Purnima.

The head of Gita Press likened our lives and creation to that of a vast ocean on which a boat is floating.

We have each been various species of animals and maybe even plants one birth after another. Some 8 million times, maybe more.

Now we’ve finally got a human birth, and are as if on that boat which has come very close to the shore.

If we don’t get off the boat, we will drown, and possibly go back all the way, one specie to another, one birth after another.

All we need to do is to get off the boat. The land is Vaikuntha. We just need to get off. But are we able to?

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ThreEY

In a recent interview that I was reading, Carmine Di Sibio, the global chairman and CEO of the Big 4 Consulting firm EY, shared three valuable lessons from his own journey that I found quite useful:

1. Embrace Change:
Di Sibio emphasizes the importance of not being afraid to change paths, even if it means deviating from your original plan. Drawing from his personal experience, he reveals that he initially pursued a degree in chemistry with the intention of becoming a doctor. However, through an internship at a hospital, he discovered that medicine wasn’t the right fit for him. This realization led him to change course and embark on a career in business. Di Sibio advises us to remain flexible, acquire new skills, and keep an open mind as the evolving landscape of technology reshapes the future of work.

2. Foster Collaboration:
While competition often takes center stage in the business world, Di Sibio highlights the value of collaboration. He shares his own journey of studying business as a liberal arts graduate and how he learned the most from his classmates. Despite working for competing organizations during the day, they came together in the evening to study and collaborate on projects. Di Sibio believes that successful collaboration enhances one’s ability to handle challenges and seize opportunities. He illustrates this through EY’s collaborations with various organizations, including competitors, to create custom solutions and address pressing societal issues. Embracing collaboration can lead to personal and professional growth.

3. Challenge the Status Quo:
Questioning the status quo is a fundamental aspect of creating a better future, according to Di Sibio, who stresses the importance of asking bold questions throughout one’s career. He encourages graduates to challenge established norms, both within their organizations and in society at large. Di Sibio shared the story of EY’s ambitious initiative, Project Everest, which aimed to redefine the industry by splitting the organization into two separate entities. Although the project was eventually put on hold, valuable insights were gained, and the process sparked innovation and opened new conversations. Di Sibio believes that real change often requires persistence and a willingness to learn from setbacks.

Simple, but great points no?

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Outliving

In a super duper book called Outlive by Dr Peter Attia, he explores ways in which we can not just live longer but live longer healthily.

That’s key, isn’t it? Who wants to live to 120 but spend the last 40 years in a hospital?!

Apart from several eye openers for me, one finding in particular I found very interesting. The doc references and reviews all available and ongoing research on supercentenerians, i.e. those living above 100.

His aim? To find a gene or two that is common across all these people which leads to such ultra longevity. The result? There is no such gene. Why? Because the author says nature and evolution simply doesn’t want anyone to live forever, rather just enough to reproduce and pass genes on to the next generation! That’s why after a certain age, hair greys out or falls off, and wrinkles develop and what not. Nature realizes that by that time, finding a mate and procreation has likely already happened and there’s no need for the “parent” to continue.

It’s a sobering but realistic take on anyone who believes they have all the money and power in the world and expect to live forever. Nature has spoken. For the spiritual aspirants, it’s simply the quality of life one has lived and how much they have done for others that matters, nothing else!

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Titaning the noose

Some people love to live on the precipice of danger. The thrill of adrenaline. I’ve never understood it.

Why would one stuff oneself into a small tube and go down the depths of the ocean to see a sunken ship? There must be some good reason that my tiny brain is unable to process.

And it’s not like the ride was free. It was a cool quarter of a million dollars per head. Phew! It’s like a 1000x magnified version of paying crazy ticket prices to go see a horror movie – as if the horrors of daily life aren’t enough!

Many people routinely do this – climbing mountain peaks that are overly crowded, or parkour on top of skyscrapers with no safety harnesses, or surf in shark infested waters. Why voluntarily increase the probability of throwing away one’s life?

As our scriptures tell us, this human birth is incredibly rare. Why do we want to throw it away? But as my Guru points out, if we are not on the spiritual path and constantly focused on the Lord, then we are anyway throwing our lives away!

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AAAA

Came across an interesting speech today. The gentleman was speaking about “How to be a good subordinate”.

I said, what?

The whole world is running after how to be a CEO and a leader and a master and a winner. And here this fellow is giving a talk on how to be a good subordinate?

Yep, because he has a good point. As he notes, one cannot attain the corner office at the age of 25 or 30. Good things, like the wisdom of experience, take time.

So how to be a good subordinate? Follow the 4As.

A for Accomplishment, as one needs to deliver. A for Affability, as one needs to be able to get along with one’s boss. A for Advocacy, of ourselves, because we are all salesmen, even if we aren’t in sales. A for Authenticity, because that’s we always need to be.

If I had to add one more A, it would be A for the Almighty, because without Him, nothing is possible!

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Inferior knowledge

It’s always good to know more about everything. Being a voracious reader and consumer of information is great. It can certainly help one make a mark in relationships. If the group you’re with is talking about sports or art or literature or finance or movies or science – doesn’t matter – because you’re still going to be able to contribute to the conversation and sound intelligent!

This is fantastic. But what if you don’t read much. Maybe you don’t have the time. Or maybe you aren’t interested, just aren’t able to read a book cover to cover, or watch educational videos much. Or maybe you do some or all of these, but still are blessed with a terrible memory (like yours truly!) that nothing sticks. Does it mean such people will never be able to build relationships?

Not quite. It’s a fallacy to think that the smartest and most talkative guy in the room is the winner. Sure such persons will have the spotlight on them. But more than anything, what people like, is to talk. And if you give them that opportunity, and listen to them really well, you can build far better relationships than you ever would simply by consuming a lot of knowledge.

This is fabulous, because it is easy. Doesn’t require preparation or complexes of inferiority. All it needs is to be aware and present in the moment. And as long as you get the other person speaking, and you are listening, you will be fine.

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Imposters

Ever got the feeling that you are just faking it in life? As though most people around us are great, always acing their work, while we are struggling to fill our shoes?

We know that this is the imposter syndrome at play.

Is it normal? Absolutely. There’ll always be some level of self-doubt in us, which leads to this. A few famous personalities, nay Gods or superhumans, themselves had imposter syndrome!

1) Lord Rama when he was enlisted by Rishis Vishwamitra and Vashishta to fight some demons that were troubling them.

2) Lord Hanuman when he was asked to cross the ocean and go to Lanka in search of Sita.

3) Arjuna the greatest warrior of all, when he went to the Kurukshetra battlefield, was terrified of fighting.

4) Post the war, King Yudhishtira, Dharma raja himself went into depression and had to be reminded of his kingly duties!

If these maestros struggled with imposter syndrome, then why should we worry? Of course, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t prep well before a test or performance or interview and so on. It might also be okay for us to cultivate comfort in expressing our lack of confidence, which in turn displays true confidence and provides reassurance even in professional settings. This approach can help us stay humble and grounded.

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Unconditional

We all know what unconditional love is. Such as the love we have for our parents and spouses and children. There is no condition that is attached. They do not have to do anything for us for our love to exist. This love is not transactional.

Similarly, there is unconditional creation. When creation becomes conditional, we call it “work”, or after a lovely Sunday, we call it “Monday morning blues”.

If we want to make money, that’s good. But our goal of making money is never the end, only a means to an end. Because the money itself is useless. It is a means for us to buy what we want or earn status in society. Thus whatever we create in order to get money becomes conditional. We are creating something to get something else, and hence we can never enjoy the process.

In unconditional creation, we work because we want to. No conditions attached. No T&Cs. Just unconditional chill.

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Lights, camera, action

Have you ever been told that your idea is impossible? Remember the Chinese proverb: “The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.” In other words, don’t let the doubters hold you back from taking action.

In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna says (Chapter 2, Verse 47): “You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work.” So, our focus must be on putting in our best effort without getting hung up on the outcome.

But let’s be real – sometimes, despite our best efforts, things just don’t go as planned. In those moments: Karma Yoga to the rescue! This is the philosophy that teaches us to perform our duties with dedication and detachment, without getting too attached to the outcome.

So, next time someone tells us our idea is impossible, remember the Chinese proverb, channel your inner Karma Yogi, and go for it anyway. And if it doesn’t work out, well… at least we can say we tried!

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