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Category: Ego

What’s bad is good for…

What’s bad is good for…

Published March 14, 2023

…none other than beloved Lord Shiva.

Shiva, as mentioned by Sadhguru of Isha Foundation in many of his talks, means “that which is not”.

We are always running after “that which is”…money, fame, relationships… But Shiva doesn’t need any of these.

He happily accepts the ashes from burnt dead bodies. How many of us can?

Everybody loves the full moon in all its beauty, but Shiva has the crooked crescent on his matted hair.

Few like slimy, creepy, crawly snakes, but Shiva adores them. Swami Chinmayananda once likened the snake to the ego – it is full of poison, from it emerges hatred, jealousy, fear and anxiety. It is always frightened and ever ready to attack. But Lord Shiva? Oh, he’s tamed the ego, and wrapped it around his neck!

And if he opens his third eye, all ego is decimated.

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It’s a holi-holi-day!

It’s a holi-holi-day!

Published March 7, 2023

Came across a super WhatsApp forward today – on Holi-day. The Indian festival of colors, and where a huge bonfire is lit.

Step out of home in the morning for a walk, and there’s a zero chance that you can come back without having some color splashed on your face, or clothes!

But what is all this color and the fire for?

The color put on one another helps us forget our differences. Once colored, everyone is the same.

The fire or bonfire, isn’t to burn material things, but rather to burn our ego and feelings of I, me, mine.

So profound, isn’t it?

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Risky business

Risky business

Published January 17, 2023

Many people look at risk from a financial perspective. If I make 100$ investment in a stock for example, then will my capital grow through time? Or would it get obliterated?

One could also look at risk from the perspective of losing something other than money, such as a job or a relationship. It’s always a worry for many employees. Should they open their mouths and speak up? Or is it too risky, potentially leading to a demotion or worse, a sacking?

While the risk of doing something, anything, is always large, there exists another very big risk. This is the risk of not doing anything at all. Optimists will gravitate towards doing something, while pessimists will prefer to watch from the sidelines.

Even in spirituality, risk exists. We are often saddled with the weight of the questions, “Am I good enough?” and “What will people think if I…?”

Coming out of this stage requires a lot of courage and self-compassion. The greatest risk is this: not letting go of what people think, and not standing up for how we feel, what we believe in and who we are.

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Here you ego

Here you ego

Published January 10, 2023

Ego is like a fire, waiting for someone to fuel it. A few nice comments from someone and our chests swell with pride. It’s also fuelled by illusions of our own grandeur, as though we achieved things all on our own!

Ego is bad. But is ego always bad?

Ego is needed for our growth, like when there is a challenge, or the need for creativity and we need to achieve something.

In failure, ego is a wonderful tool, because it doesn’t let you stay down. “Come on, get up, you can do it”, it says.

But in success? It would be best to drop the ego, the feeling that we are individually responsible for all the greatness around.

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Plus minus equal coincidence

Plus minus equal coincidence

Published December 17, 2022

Have been reading one interesting book by a Robert Greene called the Laws of Power. In that, he mentions that he trained a young protégé at one point – a Ryan Holiday – to also become an author. All good.

Then in the newspaper today, I saw an op-ed where someone quoted something written by – you guessed it – Ryan Holiday! Nice coincidence.

But that’s not the reason for this post. The newspaper article said Ryan had an interesting learning on “Plus, Minus, Equal”, that a martial arts trainer used.

To become great he says, each fighter needs to have someone better they can learn from, someone lesser who they can teach, and someone equal who they challenge themselves against. So a plus, a minus and an equal.

The unsaid conclusion of this amazing philosophy, is that one is constantly learning, as one is always a student. Even the best of Gurus, have their own Gurus. Humility is key.

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Hot or cold

Hot or cold

Published December 7, 2022

Winter is here, and we had to get our geyser fixed. Warm water was coming, but hardly. So we called the plumber, the same chap who had installed our geyser a few weeks back.

He said he wasn’t available, and to call the company for a replacement technician directly, which we did.

Said technician came over, took one look at the geyser, and immediately decalted declared that this installation suffered from the most basic of errors, i.e. incorrect positioning. It had been placed upside down – apparently the most rookie mistake possible.

Mistakes happen, and no harm done (except a nice bill of course).

We sent photos of the pre- and post- geyser setup to the plumber. His response? “I’ve been doing this job 25 years, and you tell me I’ve made a mistake? Impossible. I won’t even look at the photos you’ve sent.”

Nice lesson in overconfidence, ego, customer service, humility, and many other things I’m sure.

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Cry me a river

Cry me a river

Published November 23, 2022

Here’s a thought provoking para I read recently:

I also wasn’t used to being yelled at. My mother and father never raised their voices. If we did something wrong, they let us know about it, but they never screamed or shouted. I felt tears welling up and my face turning red and hot. I had to force myself not to cry. I said I understood, and we would do better in the future. As I found my way to the parking lot, I vowed to myself, This is never, ever going to happen to me again.

What is insane about this para is that it could happen to anyone. I’ve certainly felt like this before, and it almost feels shameful to think about.

But guess what? It is really common. This experience above? It’s taken from the autobiography of Blackstone’s founder Steve Schwarzman. This happened to him not when he was some just-studying lowly-intern who recently took up his first ever job. Nope. He’d already become very successful, and very rich, and had made an excellent name for himself. And still he had to face the ire of a client. Happens to the best.

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Cattywampus

Cattywampus

Published November 20, 2022

The Cattywampus was one of the fiercest animals to roam the planet during the Ice Age. I’d not heard of it before, but it was an interesting read. There was a professor who taught his students about the now-extinct animal, and also conduct a spot test thereafter, asking various questions such as the Cattywampus’ color, type of fur, size, diet and so on.

Given all the facts were fresh in their minds, every student answered each question exactly as the professor had just taught. Each student expected a nice 10/10 marks.

But they were shocked when they each got a 0 instead. And so they protested.

The professor’s response? “Yes you answered what I taught, but you did not verify if any of it was true. There is no such thing as a Cattywampus, it’s simply a figment of my imagination!”

This story was featured in a 1991 edition of Readers Digest. Pretty cool way to remind us to each ask questions of the things we see around us. Especially on social media, where there is a lot of fake nonsense. Even Arjuna constantly cross-questioned Krishna. There is nothing wrong in the approach, as long as the questioning is not done from arrogance, but rather a desire to learn.

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Center of the universe

Center of the universe

Published November 13, 2022

What is at the center of the universe?

Is it our sun? Or is it some other planet? Or is it a black hole? Or is the center the Big Bang from which everything has been ever-expanding? Or maybe it is some other unknown galaxy or matter, that science has yet to discover?

Who knows.

But for all practical purposes, we each are the centers of our own universes. Every single moment of our lives, every hour, every day, we are constantly weaving intricate stories around our lives that have only one protagonist – we ourselves. If we can keep ourselves in the background, and bring others around us into the main scene, then we would likely make good spiritual progress.

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Teacher taught

Teacher taught

Published November 9, 2022

Everything we learn in school is usually one-way communication.

Teacher teaches, student learns.

The more knowledge a teacher shares, the more knowledge a student learns.

In spirituality, it is a bit different.

The knowledge is already inside. Locked up and hidden. The teacher aka Guru comes about, and unlocks the hidden knowledge.

But for this, the Guru needs to be allowed near the student. Not necessarily physically, but especially mentally.

If the ego is a big wall, then no one can come near, not the Guru, not even God.

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What is this ego?

What is this ego?

Published November 6, 2022

“I” am the ego. And “I” am filled with pride and arrogance. This is what is ego, is what a simple Sanskrit to English translation would led one to believe.

But is that really it?

When our scriptures talk of ego, they are not referring to pride and arrogance at all. Yes those are bad qualities, but that is not the root cause.

When we say poornamadah poornamidam and give up all our ego to the Homa fire, what ego is that?

The ego here refers to the various identities that we have assumed. As father, as mother, as wife, as son, as daughter, as husband, as employee, as employer and hundreds of other such titles. Lord Krishna clarifies, there is no identity, only Brahman. The rest is maya.

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Rain rain come again

Rain rain come again

Published November 5, 2022

“How to get rid of attachments?” is an oft-asked question by spiritual seekers.

One senior satsangi recently said that we need to know what we are attached to in the first place, before we attempt to wean off them attachments.

So he provided a cool acronym called RAIN.

R for Results, so don’t be attached to the restults of whatever karma we do.

A for Action, so don’t be attached to the action either, like feeling very proud of oneself for going to satsang.

I for “I”, the real ego, putting myself above all else, which is the chief culprit.

N for Non-action, kind of like a counter-point to “A” above, because we can’t be attached to not doing something either. For instance, someone might not go to parties on weekends and feel great about themselves and begin looking down upon those that do go, and getting attached to that inaction.

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Ravana good or bad?

Ravana good or bad?

Published October 21, 2022

Was recently watching an interview of a Sri Lankan historian who said that Ravana to her and her people was a hero while Vibheeshana was a traitor. She supported her belief by saying the latter defected only because he felt insulted after being given the smallest and farthest of the 10 local kingdoms.

This would be completely the opposite view of anyone in India who has grown up reading the Ramayana. Ravana was obviously devout and skilled unlike any, but also supposed to have been brought down by his own ego. Vibheeshana however is eulogised for having stood by Dharma.

What to do in such cases where the stories themselves apparently contradict each other?

The answer is to not focus on the story or characters or who was the hero or villain but rather on the underlying message. Follow dharma, banish ego. This is the message of our scriptures, and the same is true of the mythological texts. That will be enough for us to know how to act when we are faced with tough circumstances and choices in life, because ultimately it’s all about our own inner transformation.

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What if learning causes problems?

What if learning causes problems?

Published October 9, 2022

Imagine a relatively young and new-at-his-field surgeon. Is that someone you want operating on your loved one? Absolutely not, isn’t it? Because what if he gets it wrong? He’s just a newbie, and you don’t want him using your loved one as a testing ground now!

How to think of this? By giving up the ego, it would seem! Here’s Master surgeon Atul Gawande in his own words in a superlative Adam Grant podcast:

Q: But one of the things I took away from that book was how important it is to be able to detach your ego from your mistakes and your failures. And you're now facing that at a much larger scale, knowing that if you fail to contain an outbreak, it could be thousands of people or hundreds of thousands of people who die. How do you navigate that?
A: This was during my training, where I had to learn on people how to do surgery. How do I claim that permission to have a learning curve? And the only way is by not pretending to be perfect, but instead to always be living up to the belief that I'm aiming for perfection and that I understand it's not just me, but a team of people that make it possible for me to learn effectively and safely and for a person who depends on the team to have confidence in the team in even if there is a learner on the team.
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Big boy

Big boy

Published September 22, 2022

Heard this in an amazing speech recently. A man was struggling with his child’s habit of scribbling on the walls in his home.

When the man caught his son doing it the first time, he shouted and said, “Are you stupid or what? Don’t you ever do that again!”

Sure enough, two days later, the boy was back to scribbling on the walls.

Why? Because his pride didn’t let him give it up. Nobody likes to be intimidated, not even a little boy.

The next day, the father tried a different tactic. When he caught the kid drawing on the wall again, he called him near and said, “Sweetie, come here, don’t do that, you are big boy now.”

And the boy never did it again.

What we say matters. But how we say it matters more.

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Here’s some feedback for you

Here’s some feedback for you

Published September 16, 2022

How many of us like to take feedback? Especially if it’s not good feedback?

We may have spent hours and days and weeks working on something, only for someone else to come and peepee all over it with their comments.

Obviously handling such a situation can be very hard.

But this is where successful basketball and NBA coach has the following to say:

Average Players want to be left alone. Good players want to be coached. Great players want to be told the truth.

This is surely applicable off the court as well. Do we want to be left alone? Or be told the truth, so that we have every opportunity available to improve?

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Hide it!

Hide it!

Published September 9, 2022

In a recent podcast on analyzing the traits of successful people, there was a radical point of view.

Everyone says successful people and especially leaders, need to be humble.

The common question is, if someone is humble and soft spoken and down to earth and approachable and all that, that’s great, but does such a person have what it takes to really be aggressive and win in life? Effectively, this can be rephrased as, “Ego isn’t good for relationships, but ego is critical to success”. Because ego is what pushes people to succeed, so they feel like they achieved something, or that they achieved more than others and such.

Our scriptures say we should lose the ego altogether, which is important of course, but from a spiritual point of view. Would this work in the cut throat world we live in? Maybe not, especially if not used properly, because we can’t expect everyone in our work-environment also to have read the scriptures and abide by it. Hence the interesting view in the podcast, that successful people have egos. However, they keep their egos hidden. So it super charges them on the inside, while still keeping them approachable and down to earth!

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Smack

Smack

Published August 14, 2022

SMACS 0723 is the name of one of the galaxies in our universe. This was recently photographed by the much celebrated James Webb telescope.

SMACS 0723 sits a cool 4.6 billion light-years from our Earth. What does this mean? That the the light we see making up the photograph captured by the telescope was emitted shortly before our planet formed.

Think about that for a second. The size and scale of what is going on beyond our blue planet is just unimaginable.

And all this we see from the perspective of our tiny lives, typically just a 100 years end to end, no matter king of the world or pauper on the street.

Despite this, the ego inside has swelled up as though we are the centers of the universe itself. How ironic, isn’t it?

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Medi-what?

Medi-what?

Published August 4, 2022

In a recent podcast, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev was asked about meditation.

He clarified, that meditation is not an activity. It is not about sitting in a place and trying to do something specific. Really? It’s not?

He said that meditation is not something that can be done. But rather that it is a quality. How?

Because, he explained, that one of the qualities of a person, is to be meditative. That is the way to truly live one’s life. This is exactly what my Guru also says, and we have covered this extensively here on FHN.

How to build this quality? By reducing attachments and desires. Which we know, don’t we? ?

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Give up yet never give up

Give up yet never give up

Published July 21, 2022

There is a lot the Gita asks us to give up. Fruits of our actions. Desires. Extremes. Attachments. And so on.

But there is also something that Krishna says (and my Guru strongly advocates) we should never give up. This comes up in chapter 18 verse 5.

What is this? It is SAC.

SAC? Yes, Sacrifice, Austerity and Charity.

Sacrifice is doing everything for the benefit of others. Austerity is living with simplicity and minimalism. Charity is providing for others who cannot provide for themselves.

Why do SAC? My Guru says it is to purify our minds. How so? By shifting our focus from ourselves always (ego) to those around us. And we know how the pinnacle of spirituality is achieved by giving up the ego. Such a beautiful connect, don’t you think?

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