Category: empathy

Haven’t come across this term until just reading it in the paper now. To “bomb” someone or smother them with so much love that they will completely forget their ill-intent.

Apparently this is being used by a supermarket chain in the UK. They had been seeing a rise in theft and shoplifting from their stores.

How did they combat this? By training their staff to be extra polite, extra helpful and extra caring towards every single customer that walks in.

Apparently it works, and it makes shoplifters think twice before squrrelling things out the store!

It’s absolutely irritating when you want to get to some place quickly, but there’s a guy on the road driving incredibly slowly in front. The pace of traffic on the sides is such that you don’t get even a chance to swerve onto another lane and zoom past the slowpoke.

While I’d wonder why people would go so slow ever, I got a taste of my own medicine recently, and boy was it an eye opener!

A relative had just had a surgery done, and it was my duty to drive said person back from the hospital to the home. Roads where I live are bad, to put it mildly, and so I was asked to drive not more than 20 kilometers per hour at best.

Any rough bumps meant my relative who had just got a number of stitches post-surgery would feel insufferable pain. It was my turn to be the slow coach on the road, as angry drivers-by honked their anger to me, no matter whether my hazard light was on or not. Oh what a lovely lesson in empathy it was for me!

Today is International Meatless Day. The 25th of November each year. I didn’t know about it till I read it in the paper. There was a thought provoking article by Dada JP Vaswani about this. Here are some excerpts, verbatim:

1. Reverence for nature is essential, including for the birds and bees, whom I love to call our younger brothers and sisters.

2. My vision of unity and fellowship and brotherhood is of a world in which the right to life is accorded to every creature that breathes the breath of life.

3. We cannot take away that which we cannot give and since we cannot give life to a dead creature we have no right to take away the life of a living one.

4. We cannot speak of dharma, we cannot speak of creation as one family until we stop the exploitation of animals – until we stop all killing! All killing must be stopped for the simple reason that if man kills an animal for food he will not hesitate to kill a fellow human being whom he regards as an enemy.

5. No nation can be free until it’s animals are free. We cannot call this world our own family until all forms of exploitation cease.

Heard a real-life experience from a friend who visited Singapore as a tourist with his family. The cabbie who picked them up was super friendly and a genuinely nice person. His only aim? To ensure his just-landed clients have a wonderful and memorable stay. Some of the things he did for this?

1. Going out of the way to suggest places to shop, visit, eat and sightsee.
2. Putting Hindi music in his car even though he himself couldn’t understand the language.
3. Gifting my friend’s daughters barbie dolls on the last day as they headed back to the airport. Why? Because the two girls had been chatting about Barbies a lot the prior few days!

To me, this is karma yoga, doing one’s duty to the best of their ability. It is very easy to be dull and morose and conclude that “I’m only a taxi driver, what can I do?”

Here are some common and seemingly innocuous questions one may be asking. All good until we think of possible but unexpected answers.

1. On someone’s physical features. [Maybe they have thyroid / other issues and have been on medication, what do we know?]
2. On someone’s employment status. [Maybe they have enough money saved / aren’t getting a job despite trying, what do we know?]
3. On someone’s house and car. [Maybe they do not wish to show off / maybe they wish to show off / in any case a US$ 1 million house or car only indicate that the person had 1 million, which they don’t now; what do we know?]
4. On someone’s kids. [Maybe the kids are autistic, maybe they have special needs, what do we know?]
5. On someone’s social media posts. [Those posts couldn’t be further from the truth, so best to ignore, and what do we know?]
6. On someone’s marital status. [Maybe they are unable to find the right person, or are headed for a divorce, what do we know?]
7. On someone’s education and career choices. [Maybe they came from a poor background, needed to start earning quickly, what do we know?]
8. On someone’s behaviour and biases. [Maybe they had a troubled upbringing, what do we know?]

Everyone is constantly fighting their own battles. Compassion and empathy rules the world – both material and spiritual.