Ask some youngsters how they would choose their life partners. “My girlfriend / boyfriend / fiancé / fiancée and I love the same movies / books / TV shows / music / food.” i.e. the answers tend to revolve around interests and hobbies.
Such match making could be disastrous.
Why? Because likes, interests and hobbies (can) change. The songs, movies and books we liked 10 years ago, 5 years ago and 2 years ago are not the same anymore. And 5 years down the line, not only will our tastes change, but our partner’s tastes will change as well.
Instead of trying to match likes and dislikes, what is most critical to match is values and value systems. If I’m soft spoken, value humility and honesty and have a charitable bent of mind, it is very difficult to get along with a spouse who is loud, boastful, cuts corners and is miserly. And liking the same type of action adventure movies is not a panacea for this wide gulf of a difference.
This is where some virtues of arranged marriages (advice from family/elders) and the use of astrology (to identify deep-seated character traits of an individual) can help. Not as tools to force people to marry against their will, as is commonly portrayed. But as a mechanism to ensure the ‘core’ wavelength matches, because the rest is just fluff.Leave a Comment