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Category: gratitude

Energetically yours

Came across a very interesting thought. It’s not radical or new. But a different perspective on the same thing.

Who is God?

Most will describe him as an old man with a flowing beard. No, not Santa Claus, although he does fit the description.

Said God apparently gets angry when we do bad things. And if we do good things, then he rewards us.

But is that how we have experienced God? Hardly.

A better way to think of this is that God is just energy. He is the energy that created all of Creation. He is also the one that sustains all of it, and eventually leads to destruction and recycling.

So if everything is God’s energy, what are we doing about it? If we do bad things, then God’s energy gets suppressed. But if we do good things, we practice gratitude, we are kind to others, we are empathetic and compassionate, then we automatically become free flowing channels of God’s energy. Isn’t that incredible?

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Work perk

On a recent trip to a beautiful but politically-charged place, I couldn’t help but notice the substantial presence of army officers and patrols.

They’ve been placed there for good reason of course.

But my heart went out to them – for their courage and sacrifice, all to keep the rest of the country safe and sound.

Are they different in any way? They too are human. But their postings are in far flung areas, often involving standing for hours together, holding heavy guns, ever ready to thwart a terrorist attack. Do they see family often? Not at all. Do they get to savour relationships? Hardly.

Yes, it is a job, and a very hard one that needs to be done. I cannot do it, as I wouldn’t be able to last a day in their grueling circumstances. But we can pray for them – as my Guru does – for their safety and well being, which is more critical than any other work perk.

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The art of praising

Is praise always good? Yes it is, because it is better than criticising someone or complaining about someone.

But is there a good way and a bad way to praise someone? Yes there is apparently.

An example is while praising kids. Singling out one kid and praising that kid alone for a correct answer is a bad way. Why? Because the kid feels rewarded for his knowledge of that one answer. This is good, but no one knows everything. At the same time, the other kids who may not have have known that one answer will feel left out.

A better way of praising is to acknowledge and call out the behaviour and the effort. Such as commending them for participating in the class. Or praising the effort required to read up before the class. By focusing on the behaviours and efforts, the praise is far more sustainable too. Because it reinforces the need to continue such good behaviour, not just in that one person, but in everyone around them. And while one answer everyone may not know, a behaviour everyone can cultivate and effort – everyone can put in!

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Rejected and dejected

Rejections happen all the time. Just ask any salesperson! Keeping oneself in silence and peace when faced with negative words is a sign of great wisdom. It’s tempting to seek praise and approval from others, but becoming dependent on it can be detrimental. In fact, relying on the applause of others to feel secure can lead to further insecurity.

It might even be worthwhile to be comfortable with being ignored or forgotten. This allows us the freedom to move about without any expectations from others. Rather than feeling the need for attention, we can remind ourselves of the wisdom of the mystics who know that the divine within us is all we need to feel fulfilled.

Even those who are sensitive to praise and appreciation can learn to be secure within themselves, so that rejection becomes a word that doesn’t exist in their vocabulary. Ultimately, it’s the divine within that will never reject us, and that’s enough to make up for any rejection we may experience from others.

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Rhyme or reason

Sleep is the foundation of our health,

But fear can steal our peaceful wealth.

Karma says what we do comes back,

Good deeds create the right sleep track.

Meditation, gratitude, and cheer,

These positive habits help us steer.

Toward an optimistic, happy mind,

Where fears and worries are left behind.

So let’s cultivate good karma each day,

And let our fears and anxieties sway.

For with positive habits, thoughts, and rhyme,

We’ll sleep better and feel sublime.

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1000

Sometimes it feels like there’s so much to write and say. And yet, when I pick my fingers up to type, I draw a blank. This has gone on for many many days, so much so, that today’s post is #1000! Pretty cool no? Can only thank you for it, for patiently reading day after day.

But the blanks still come. What to do about it I wonder sometimes? One answer came today in the form of a nice Simon Sinek podcast.

He spoke of one time when he was giving a speech – probably the most important one of his career at the time – and in front of a massive audience of thousands of people. Halfway through his speech, he completely lost his train of thought, and went dead silent, as did the room, expectantly looking at him, waiting for him to complete his thought. But nothing came. 5 seconds passed, and Simon narrates how afraid he was initially and what might happen thereafter.

But then he changed it up. He put himself in a position of vulnerability, and explained honestly to his audience that he was in one of those situations where one just blanks out, how it happens to everyone, and that he was not regretting it, but instead enjoying it and “feeling absolutely alive!”

Then he requested the audience to help remind him of what the last thing he said was. And someone did, and boom, he was back on track again. Simon says that the audience applauded so much at that point, that it was much more than the applause at the end of his speech. Why? According to him, it’s because instead of thinking about himself, he was thinking about the audience, how they would feel being left in the lurch, and to think of what the best way would be to make them feel comfortable again. Not thinking about himself or how foolish he would look, but entirely about how audience would feel. As Simon concludes on the podcast, selfless service is always the right answer.

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Desire? Or no desire?

There’s always this confusion while living in the material world. Should we achieve more? Or not?

If we should achieve more, we need to have lofty goals. If we have to have lofty goals, then we’d also need to desire those things.

But spirituality tells us to give up all desires and attachments. On the other side, self-help and motivational coaches talk about the importance of daily affirmations and creatively visualizing your goals, as if they already happened. Is there a way to bridge this disconnect?

There may be. If the desires are truly and solely for the benefit of others and to the exclusion of oneself, then there is perhaps no disconnect. And desires for one’s own kin so that it indirectly benefits us does not count!

The other plausible line of desires could be to improve one’s own good qualities – to affirm that we would be kinder, nobler, more generous, more compassionate human beings. These again ultimately help to serve creation, rather than leech from it.

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Can TGIF ever become TGIM?

Anyone who goes to office knows what TGIF is… Thank God it’s Friday! After a grueling week, the mental peace that Friday brings is just unparalleled.

But what of Mondays? They’re only ever associated with the color blue, as we well know.

Here’s two tips I got recently, to love work:

1. Work as a nimmita of the Lord, as an instrument. We are doing His grand work. So how can we feel tired, angry, frustrated or irritated? We have the opportunity to work for the Lord. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive for better pay or promotions and such. But whatever we are doing right now is but a prasad of the Lord.

2. Take the ego out of the work. Lose the identity. Not to be foolish, but prepared. This will inculcate risk taking ability, without worrying about whether you are presenting to a peer or a senior. How you can add value to your colleagues and your organization trumps the fear of what will happen to you if something doesn’t go well.

Of these two points, #2 done with #1 in mind can lead to outstanding results. It’s not whether TGIF becomes TGIM, but that there is always TG in our minds!

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Remembrance when?

Sant Kabir has this amazing couplet:

Dukh me sumiran sab kare, Sukh me kare na koi
Jo sukh sumiran kare, Dukh kahe ko hoye kabi

When do people look to the heavens? Only when things are going wrong of course.

Sant Kabir says, that if we remember God when we are happy instead, then there will be no sorrow in the first place!

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Turning the tables

In many parts of the Gita, Lord Krishna mentions that he is only the Watcher, not the Doer. He has only created the Nature around us to function based on certain laws (of nature), and whatever happens thereafter is upon creation, not Him.

Some people question this. How?

By asking why the Lord would not step in where required. Seems very easy to just say, “Okay, I’ve created, and so my part here is done.”. Why not interfere when things are going wrong? If crime is being committed, why would the Lord not come in and take charge? Why does he have to say that he has nothing to do with this?

The answer lies in karmic theory of course. That we each are responsible for what we do, and this karmic record spans multiple lifetimes. But there is another way to think of this as well.

What if the Lord questions us thus, “Hey I created this universe and world and have given each of you the most beautiful planet to live on. I’ve ensured everything is perfect, beautiful nature, bountiful resources and every reason for you to be happy forever. And yet, what have you people done? Are you really happy? Are the resources you’ve been given used properly? Sustainably? Are you all living together in love and harmony?”

The tables have been turned.

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Master feeder

There are many pious families in India that will not eat until the food has first been offered to the Lord (at their altars).

This is a phenomenal tradition, and not just for the sake of it.

Of course it is more symbolic than real, because one wouldn’t expect the food to actually be eaten. But that is irrelevant.

Even when you are really ravenous, if you are able to put someone else (the Lord) above yourself first in the hunger chain, that is amazing.

Further, the idea is that you are taking care of the Lord, providing him with food, and not vice versa, given that we are constantly praying for accumulating more and more.

This is a wonderful break from the usual selfish infinite list of “I want”s. If you think about it deeply, we really aren’t giving anything to the Lord. And how can we? We are the ones who have got everything from Him in the first place! But such actions still serve as an outstanding conduit for expressing our gratitude.

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Rich people

On a recent business trip, the cabbie was a chatty fellow.

Looking at where our hotel was (apparently in a posh locality, although the hotel itself wasn’t!), he said “Are you guys from the top of the food chain in your country?”

We tried to deflect, “No, no, no such thing, our travel agent just happened to find this hotel convenient for our meetings and such.”

To which he quickly replied, “Hey I have no problems with rich people, none of that inequality angle or the attitude or jealousy or anything. In fact I like rich people, because they’re the ones that keep my business running!”

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Holy Cow – part 4 of 5

Yet today, there is so much of cow torture and abuse, largely for commercial purposes.

Many cows are disposed of once they stop giving milk.

Do you know how many cows are slaughtered each year around the world?

300 million. Isn’t that shocking?

How insensitive is it, to chop off the hand that feeds us?

On the contrary, imagine the blessings one would get if provided with the chance to tend to this beautiful, peaceful and loving creature.

That chance is available, with the ability to participate (online in many cases, thanks to technology) in the seva of cows. Where gauseva is 100% seva, and 0% commercial. All cow products are either utilized within the premises or given away for free. And all cows are loved and cared for, no matter whether they continue to give milk or not.

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Mispriced asset

“I’m a mispriced asset”, is what a friend told me recently. He took up his job because he didn’t have a choice. He wanted to break into a specific market, and because he didn’t have the relevant work experience, he had to take a pay cut.

We know how this story ends right? The guy after 3 years in his ‘compromise’ job, managed to get another offer elsewhere, better pay, and before you know it, it was mispricing no more.

Each of us who is in the corporate world comes across this question often. How much am I worth?

The answer as the experts will tell you, is not your intrinsic value. Rather, what you are worth, is simply what someone is willing to pay you. Aka, the greater fool theory. It’s just like the stock market, or the market for art or collectibles, or cryptos or NFTs today. If someone will pay 10, then why settle for 6?

While this is great in the business world, it doesn’t matter in anything in life outside of economic comparisons. Keep wealth aside, and the equations change. If you pay for your house help’s kids’ education, they will likely shower you with more gratitude than any billionaire could hope to amass.

But even that, is looking outward. Your real value, only you can ascribe. And that too might be quite limiting, and mispriced.

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6 months to… part 1 of 3

There’s an outstanding short-book that I just finished reading.

It’s called 6 Months To Live, and written by Dr. Sangeeta Raman Girdhar.

The book is only about 70-odd pages long, and can easily be finished in one sitting, and within the hour.

But the convenient length of the book not the reason everyone should read it.

What the book captures so beautifully, is a combination of 4 things:

  1. What all a loved one goes through when faced with a terminal disease
  2. What the immediate family of this person goes through
  3. What life lessons and spiritual lessons we can each take away, especially if (God-forbid) put in such circumstances
  4. How to deal with cancer, and even make micro lifestyle changes to prevent it

I’m going to share a few powerful takeaways from the book over the next couple of days, but the book has much more than just these, so do consider reading it. The author is my cousin sister, who is an amazing human being. The least I can do is feature her work on FHN! The book is available here.

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Can we give up desires?

A tough aspect of spirituality is not in reading what is said, but in actually understanding and implementing it.

For instance, Lord Krishna in the Gita often asks Arjuna to give up desires.

Is this practical? If I give up all my desires, I wouldn’t even be able to get up from my bed on a Sunday, let alone on a Monday morning!

Maybe there is something deeper and subtler. This is my Guru’s amazing interpretation.

When Krishna says ‘give up desires’, he actually means ‘give up the cravings in your mind’. Having dharmic desires is fine, but it is critical to cut the umbilical cord between desire and happiness.

Our happiness is always linked to the fulfilment of desires. “Think of a time when you were happy” tends to be accomplishments like “when I won the game, or topped the class, or got married, or had kids, or got promoted”.

But what if everything we did, could start from happiness, rather than end in it? This is possible, and it (too) starts with gratitude.

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Thirsty fish

The poet Kabir has an outstanding line:

The fish in the water is thirsty, and every time I see that, it makes me laugh!

What does this mean?

Well, we are the fish!

Aren’t we always wanting something or the other? What we have, never seems to be enough. There are people who would do 2x our work at 1/10th the salary. And still we are unhappy and want more. Compared to the poor and destitute, we are nothing but kings and queens!

Yet we are thirsty for more. We have all the water around us, yet not a drop to drink will quench this thirst ?

Is there anything that can quench this thirst? Yes there is, and you know all about it already. It is called gratitude.

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Fool

A lovely point was expressed in a recent satsang by a satsangi who had watched a sermon on the Gita.

We are always hankering after the ‘results’ – we want more and more, and often for not even doing much.

The speaker said, that we should never consider ourselves as the ‘doers’. Are we really the doers? What are we really doing? We are at best only facilitating a grand plan that is already in motion. Even the CEO of a company isn’t really doing much – his outstanding vision itself might be borrowed and stitched together from many others. In any case, he is also dependent on all his employees, vendors, stakeholders, all those who invented things till this point, and so on. No one is truly indispensable. So are we really ‘doing’ as much as we think?

If we do not consider ourselves the doers, the benefit of this approach is that we will not demand results either. To be clear, this is for our own peace of mind and spiritual evolution, and not for use on the day of ‘annual performance evaluation’ at work.

The other statement made was that we need to be grateful for whatever we receive. Always. Otherwise, we would each be a great fool!

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Mentorship

Ah what would we do without mentors? I have lost count of the number of times a mentor has benefitted me – be it my parents, my wife, my brother, my friends, my teachers, well-meaning colleagues, ill-meaning colleagues, good bosses, bad bosses, friends… you name it. Even though some learning experiences were brutal and demeaning at the time, looking back, those feedback loops are what helped into shaping the person I am today. Of course I’m not a successful billionaire, so this probably doesn’t count for much from a materialistic point of view.

But mentors are super important in life, and especially the specialist mentors, the 1-2 people you can rely on for non-technical guidance in your specialist domain. If you are lucky, such a person can double up as your boss too.

The logical next question is, what if I need to move (presumably to a better workplace), and if I consequently need to leave my mentor / boss as well?

This is summarized beautifully in a dialogue in the hit TV series called Ted Lasso:

A good mentor hopes you will leave.
A great mentor knows you will leave!

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Nimittas – part 3 of 3

Knowing now that being the nimitta of the Lord is the easy way to moksha, how exactly does one go about this?

Krishna himself gives a clue in verse 11.54, specifying a particular type of devotion or bhakti. Not any bhakti, but ananya bhakti.

Ananya, refers to no ‘anya’, i.e. no other. There is no other, apart from the Lord. This is not of some specific deity necessarily, but could also be of faith in the Creator. If there is such unconditional, indelible love towards the Lord, thinking of only Him 24×7, then that would be ananya bhakti.

Is this practical? Some research suggests we have nearly 40,000 thoughts a day. Where is the space for 24×7 ananya bhakti then!

My Guru says we can start small (remember ‘microsteps‘?). Offer gratitude to the Lord before sleeping, after waking up, before eating, after eating, before working, after working, before leaving the house, after coming back, after sneezing, after coughing, while yawning and so on.

Eventually, everything we do will automatically become associated with the Lord.

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Delightful

Have you come across people who are always happy no matter what? Like if you just see them, you feel like smiling too?

Yes, I know, hardly anyone like that nowadays. Not all the time anyway.

One guy though is always happy. His name in fact has happiness inbuilt – one Mr. Ross Gay.

He did something called a Delight project, which was his own idea.

He made it his life’s objective to look for and document, daily moments of delight. He later wrote a book chronicling his experiences called The Book of Delights. You hear him on a podcast like I did here, you’ll immediately see how happy and delighted he sounds!

So where does delight come from? You go looking for it, and it appears in the most mundane of areas. Like our bodies functioning normally; seeing those around us happy; participating in social activities; spending time with loved ones; playing with pets, or babies; just breathing-in the cool morning air; feeling the breeze on our faces… and you get the drift.

It could be anything. One thing for each day. Just soaking in the delight. Feeling it for every single second of that experience. Feeling alive. And feeling deep amounts of gratitude, for even just having the ability to feel that delight. Wow!

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Measuring excellence

Jim Collins is an author who needs no introduction. In one of his defining studies, he has distilled down the excellence factors for any company, to 3 core elements. These are:

  1. Superior results (the company can be amazing on paper, but it needs to win in the real world)
  2. Distinctive impact (if the company disappeared, would it matter?)
  3. Lasting endurance (not just a one-hit wonder)

While these are amazing insights for companies, I also couldn’t help but realize these are amazing ideals for anyone striving for excellence to try living up to.

  1. Superior results – irrespective of the profession, can our clients feel they always get the best only with us?
  2. Distinctive impact – of course no one is indispensable and all that; but even so, if we disappeared from the earth tomorrow, how many people would miss us? Would we have left behind a legacy? Not for the money we provide others, but the compassion, listening ear, love and warmth?
  3. Lasting endurance – it’s easy to be good to people once or twice, but to do that lifelong? That would be most beneficial, not just to those being helped, but to the doer. A non-stop selfless attitude is no different from the pinnacle of spirituality.
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TT extraordinaire

This past weekend, a few of us from the extended family had a quick and wonderful outing. One of the cool things about technology is that it makes it easy to find independent bungalows for rent, which are financially pretty reasonable, because we can apportion the larger cost across more people.

The other advantage of having an independent house? An awesome games room! So we played a lot of table tennis, and of course it was fun blaming the table, the racket, the ball, the net and everything else!

The most important thing for table tennis though, is one’s arms / hands. That’s what we’ve to really be thankful for. No hands, no table tennis, right?

Nope! Meet Ibrahim Ahmadtou, who lost both his arms when he was just 10 years old in a train accident. He didn’t step out of his house for an entire year as he couldn’t bear the ignominy of his disability. But today at the age of 48, he is no less a world champion, representing Egypt in the Paralympics.

How can he play table tennis without hands? He uses his mouth of course! And he tosses the ball up with his feet. Do have a look at some YouTube videos. The technique is simply extraordinary, but what is even more so, is his iron will power.

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Rejection notice

Here’s something I came across on my LinkedIn feed recently. A man who was in need of a job was giving some interviews.

During one such interview, the HR told him about the great practices followed in the company, the compassion, the empathy, the work life balance, the amazing culture, the camaraderie and so on. A wonderful HR marketing pitch if there was one.

A few days later, he got an email from the same HR. The email had no greeting, no salutation, no niceties, no ‘thank you for attending the interview’, no template-response either (‘thank you for interviewing with us, we appreciate your candidacy but regret to inform you…’).

Instead, the email from the HR had just one word. “Rejected”. Yes just this one word. Nothing else.

Maybe that HR didn’t have time, or was genuinely irritated by this applicant – who can say for sure. But it’s still basic courtesy isn’t it?

The learning for me was, that even though I don’t write ‘rejected’ emails, maybe I speak similarly – harshly and curtly at times. I may not even realize it, and I wouldn’t know the impact on the other person, but the other party might feel deeply hurt. Much care must be taken. Words once uttered, can seldom be taken back.

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Empavert

The world loves extroverts. These people are chatty, gregarious, always have stories to tell, and seem to get along so easily.

Introverts on the other hand, seem to struggle to get along with most, and prefer to be curled up with a book rather than the centre of attention in a pub.

A book called Quiet by Susain Cain explores how introverts are actually very powerful, can think deeply and make massive contributions to the world in their own ways.

But maybe extroverts and introverts as defined by outward behaviour is irrelevant, even though that is what catches the eye. Dig a little deeper, and what may really matter is empathy.

One can make quick and superficial judgements about people looking at how they behave in public (intro or extro). But when someone goes the extra mile, out of the way to do something for someone else, that is the true basis for a sustainable relationship. In this respect, even an introvert could be an extrovert, by thinking about the other person selflessly.

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Angrrr – part 5

Why so much anger? Part 1 2 3 4 and now 5! Maybe because it’s a question that gets asked and discussed so much. And the solutions all require hard work, effort and patience.

But once managed, it can be the most amazing experience.

And lessening of anger is probably one of those sure-fire ways to tell yourself that you are making progress on the spiritual path.

There are two very important points when it comes to anger that I always try to keep in mind.

  1. The trigger for anger might be outside, but the emotion is entirely within us, on the inside. For the same situation, different people elicit different responses, and that means a very angry person can also learn to become less angry and eventually never angry.
  2. The quickest fix for anger is gratitude, even though it might seem unrelated. If you get angry at your parent or child or sibling for something they did, turn that around, i.e. be grateful for the fact that you even have a parent, child or sibling. So many people would give an arm and a leg to be in that position!

Concluded tomorrow…

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Bed on it

There are some that don’t get sleep until their bodies hit the plush pillows and comfy quilts of a 5-star hotel.

But some have to make do with 3-star hotel arrangements.

Some sleep under the moonlight, on bamboo cots, maybe with mosquito nets.

Many sleep on the floor in their homes, on just a thin bedsheet.

Those in poverty, sleep under flyovers, with no one to care for them.

Some share beds with two others, oxygen cylinders supplementing their breathing efforts.

Some don’t get ICU beds, despite the criticality.

If we just have a bed at home to sleep peacefully – how unbelievable lucky are we?

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Deconstruction

We hear the labourers chattering all day. The flyover near our house. It is getting constructed. It has been like this for two years now.

The daily noise – massive thuds, drilling machines ramming deep into the earth, the sounds of cranes and bulldozers, not to mention – the bright lights and sirens that flash even at 2 am. No matter the day – whether we have an important client call, or a Sunday morning off, or wish to sneak in a meditation session – the din sometimes is unbearable, chaotic and equally unloved by one and all.

But flip this over. These are men and women on a mission. Not to just construct a bridge, but to also construct their lives. Or rather to prevent it from deconstruction. How much can these daily wagers really earn? Hardly enough to make ends meet. And they need to send money back to their families in their villages too?

While we sleep in double glassed sound-proofed air-conditioned high-rises, these folks melt in the sun, puff in the dust, and sleep huddled in reprehensible accommodations. We can only think “When will this bridge get completed, so that my travel time in my luxury car can get cut in half.” They on the other hand, may never get a chance to use this bridge, or maybe only in an overcrowded bus in the sweltering heat. Soon after they are done here, they will be transported to yet another construction site, nearby, far away, who knows. It is always one day at a time.

Why could we not have been born into their place? We very well could have. We just got really lucky. Let us begin our day with gratitude for this fact.

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Lockdown

“Isolation” and “Quarantine” and “Lockdown”. Three words that have suddenly become commonplace, all thanks to the Covid situation. Most people everywhere seem to be cribbing big time. “I’m so sick of staying at home. Just can’t wait for things to open up. I hate this lockdown business. Can’t even go anywhere. I really miss my vacations and international trips.”

But a change in mindset is necessary. An entitled person may think sitting at home unable to travel for pleasure is bad. But how about those people who are isolated in hospital wards, separated from their loved ones, stuck on a hospital bed amongst hundreds of others, breathing into tubes attached to cylinders, with no indication of when their ordeal would end. Isn’t that infinitely worse? And then there are those that desperately need hospitals / ICUs / beds but these are all full. What of them?

As an Indian army jawan noted on his Linkedin post – “Don’t be scared of isolation. My longest spell was on Siachen glacier, lasting 138 days, with 98 days of intense firing. All 19 of us survived 100s of kilos of TNT. I lost 19 kilos of weight, and took bath after 138 days. The minimum temperature was -50-degrees Celcius.”

What are the rest of us cribbing about? We must be deeply cognizant that anyone stepping out for any reason could be the cause for someone else falling sick or losing a loved one. It is our duty to stay indoors and safe, until all this bad news passes.

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Tough times

There are times when it might seem like everything is going against us. It is good to take on any adversity head-on though with this one thought that occurs to only the most spiritual of beings – “Thank you God/Universe for putting me in this position rather than anyone else. Because at least I will be able to bear this situation and it’s consequences, while those around me if subjected to the very same thing, may not survive.”

At other times, those close to you might be going through a tough time. This could be deep rooted karmic retribution at play. Who can really tell, except perhaps those who have truly Realized? In any case, it might seem like there is nothing we can do to help alleviate the pain. At least physically, yes.

But mentally, and emotionally? We can do many things. One, paramount, is prayer. A wonderful opportunity to not just pray, but pray for someone other than always selfishly for ourselves!

There’s a brilliant video I came across recently. A barber got to know that his client was diagnosed with cancer. The client’s hair had begun falling, thanks to chemotherapy. As the client begins to get his head shaved, the barber intermittently shaves his own head too. What a lovely way to show that he cares! The client is moved to tears.

The tag at the end of the video sums it up beautifully. “That’s not your barber anymore, that’s your brother.”

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ig to IG

Here’s something that struck me and which I’ve been thinking about and trying to practice off-late.

I’m trying to consciously move from ig to IG. From instant gratification (which is everywhere in this digital age) to Instant Gratitude.

A few examples:

  1. When I feel like insta-ordering home delivery on Swiggy / Zomato, I try to replace the craving with a thought of gratitude for having a kitchen at home with loving family members who would happily cook a meal for me. Or even just having a kitchen, where I can cook for myself (rare, I know)
  2. When there’s a wish to get promoted quickly or to make a big bonus pronto followed by an inevitable loss of enthusiasm, one way is to be grateful for even having a job
  3. When wanting to desperately travel someplace just because I’m bored of home, I try to be extra grateful that I even have a home in the first place

Everything in life is about enjoying the process, unworried about the outcome. After all, the outcome of life itself is clear yet inescapable. Enjoying the process will happen automatically once we are grateful for what we have.

If I could have my own app, I’d call it Instagrat ?

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Ritualistic pride

When doing a puja, homa (havan) or other ritual, the doers often become conceited. “Oh look I just performed a huge yagna and see how many people attended, and see what amazing catering I arranged” etc. Even if the havan was done on a small scale, ego can creep in. But it’s helpful to really think what aspects of the homa or puja were done by “the doer”.

How about these?

  1. The deity we are praying to has to make him/herself available
  2. Agni, the fire God, has to function as the medium and carry one’s prayers to the deity
  3. The various ingredients – coconuts, walnuts, other inflammable items, flowers, ghee, water and everything else – does the yagna doer create these items?
  4. The priest who conducts the ceremony – is the organizer the priest? Soes s/he know every single mantra, shloka, chant – not just to recite, but to understand and to feel? Did s/he create those incantations?
  5. Or maybe if it’s a self-chanted self-conducted ritual, then gratitude to our own memory, vocal chords, the guru who taught us the mantras…
  6. How about the free time we were allowed by our family members to devote to the puja
  7. Also the attendees who showed up, and the cooks who prepared all the dishes
  8. A few other things I would have missed here for sure

Without any of these, how would the havan have been a success? Really is there much for us to be proud of then?

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Bharatha 600BC

There is an awesome board game called Bharatha 600BC, created and released by a company called GoIndia Games. It’s quite unique because such games that are made in India are rare. The map of the game itself is beautiful – featuring ancient India from – you guessed it – 600 BC!

The game makes for fun family bonding time – especially offering a clean hour or three. ‘Clean’ meaning no screen diversions (mobiles, tablets, TVs etc) – wow is that even possible these days?

The board game has plenty of paths to victory – and one can use tact, strategy, battle, speed, rationing (i.e. hoarding) of resources, using special cards – you name it.

One interesting thing that happens when we play with my mother, is that she will never battle, and she will also always ‘give up’ resources for the rest of the family to win. “Oh, how can I battle my own son!”, or “You want resources, here take mine” – much to the groans of others “come on ma, this is supposed to be a competitive game – leave your familial bonds aside!”

While there are groans during the game, one must look behind the curtain. The motherly love kicks in with feelings of compassion overruling everything else – and not just during board games but even otherwise. What if we too can apply such compassion/empathy all the time. Just like the Guru does. Wouldn’t that be the true application of everything we learn in our scriptures?

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Miraculous (escape)!

We were sound asleep. Blissfully unaware of the goings on of the night. A sudden loud crash jolted us awake. What was that?

A slab of granite making up the top of the window sill had just crashed to the floor. No announcement, no warning. Through the darkness, we could see some more slab, hanging precariously.

We tried to go back to sleep. Hardly a few minutes passed, or was it an hour? Another deafening crash, a bigger slab fell this time.

This was a place where we would normally be sitting under in the daytime? Or certainly walking past at least – many times a day. But the slabs never caved in then. How infinitely lucky were we?

A sheer miracle, if there ever was one. Not just tonight, but every night and every day till today. Who knows what all unspeakable things could have happened, but by some divine grace, didn’t?

Life certainly seems to be crumbling around us from time to time, all the time. But if it doesn’t knock us out, and allows us to keep moving ahead, that is nothing less than a blessing and a miraculous escape.

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Habitual

There is always a lot of discussion about gratitude. People try to ‘do gratitude’, ‘show gratitude’ or temporarily ‘have gratitude’ for some specific person or event or thing. That’s a good start. But gratitude is not something that comes today and goes tomorrow.

Gratitude is a habit, and a way of life. If we can practise gratitude 24×7, that effectively means we are happy all the time. Happy about what? It doesn’t matter, but every second every instant we are able to find something or the other to be grateful about, and hence happy about.

Imagine how powerful that could make our minds? All negative thoughts would be banished forever.

Gratitude is important for both good and bad happenings in life. Why? For whatever good happens in our lives, we of course know how to be grateful. But if we practise gratitude in such good times, then our ego will always be kept in check. Whatever bad happens in our lives, we can be grateful that it wasn’t much worse than it could have been. Also, all bad experiences in life offer us a chance to learn and grow. Sometimes that is better that outright success.

The easiest way to start is by writing a gratitude diary or a miracle journal. Over time, writing will not be required anymore, and being grateful will become an integral part of every waking moment.

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Gateway to serve

There is no dearth of rich people in the world. But the number of poor, far outweigh the rich. If you are one of the lucky ones to be in the ‘rich’ group (or at least in the group where you do not need to struggle to make ends meet), then what can you do with your money? Our scriptures say that the only thing one must do is to serve others selflessly. As my Guru notes often, it is easy to find rich people – but very hard to find rich people who are also noble. Money is such a thing, that the more we have, the more it can control and corrupt us. Even the noblest of people can unravel in the clutches of money. The only way to remain noble then is to stay steeped in our scriptures, and consciously apply everything we learn in them and in satsang.

There are of course many rich people who are doing great work for society. One example is Bill Gates. Indeed there may be naysayers or those who feel he is doing this to benefit himself in some way – there is no way for me to know. However, his work has surely impacted poor people’s lives for the better, and he talks about this in his new book “How to Avoid a Climate Disaster”. He and his wife Melinda began working on global health many years ago, and experts would tell them often about how many kids were dying of diarrhoea. But they didn’t know the source of this diarrhoea. The couple were unable to figure out how to save these kids without knowing the underlying cause. Being rich, and having the ability to spend money as necessary, they were able to fund a variety of global studies to figure out the exact cause of this diarrhoea – which was then identified as pneumonia. And then Mr. Gates was able to further fund a much cheaper pneumonia vaccine than one that already existed and used only by developed countries, which in turn led to saving the lives of millions of kids.

Many times, those who get onto the spiritual path feel that they should not bother about earning money anymore. But money is one of the best ways to help people at scale. Hence a noble person shouldn’t shy away from becoming rich. But one must become rich and not hoard the money, but selflessly help those around in need.

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Luckiest

There’s a Sanskrit word for liberation called moksha. There’s also a Sanskrit word for wanting liberation called mumukshatwam.

Mumukshatwam signifies an intense burning desire for moksha. But even this has classifications – some have a really intense desire while others are more curious than desperate.

It is said that the Guru and the disciple meet when the disciple has a burning desire for moksha.

Many of us are indeed blessed to have a Guru in our lives. But how much mumukshatwam do we have? From my own experience I can say very very little, if any at all. Sad, but true – as I continuously struggle to keep materialism at bay, what with the vagaries of daily life.

But life happens, to each one of us. Despite that, despite not having an intense yearning for liberation, if we still have got a Guru in our lives, what did we do to deserve it? It will remain one of the biggest mysteries to me. It would also be foolish to look such a gift horse in the mouth. And such luck, like any luck, should not be wasted.

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Disastittude

  1. She had worked really hard on her presentation. All of last week. Little sleep and plenty of sweat, and tears.
  2. Now it was ready. All external dependencies, and myriad coordinations, checked and resolved, approvals sought.
  3. Mail drafted, and ready to send. This would put her in the upper leagues. People would take notice.
  4. And then came the phone call. Some of her data points in chapter 3 were incorrect. Taken innocuously from a defunct source.
  5. The correction would take time. Maybe a couple of weeks if not more.
  6. Oh what a bummer. She felt like the world came crashing down.
  7. Irritated. Frustrated. She hated delays. She also hated going back to the drawing board.
  8. Then she realized. This was not a disaster, rather, she was saved from one.
  9. Imagine if her email with the wrong presentation and data had gone out. What a mess that would have been!
  10. It was just a week from annual appraisal day too. Her bonus could have been slashed, and promotion rescinded.
  11. Her frustration abated momentarily, and her gratitude for Divinity’s mysterious ways gushed to the fore.
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How to be equanimous

One of the mainstays for a liberated life according to the Bhagavad Gita, is samatvam or equanimity. This is also called having sama darshanam or equity in vision, i.e. looking at everything as inherently the same, irrespective of whether it is good or bad, pleasure or pain, joy or sorrow and so on.

To live comfortably and mentally unblemished in the face of criticism, one must begin by eschewing praise. We cannot have the proverbial cake and eat it too. We want equanimity in hardship, but our pleasure receptors shoot through the roof in the slightest hint of praise and recognition.

How can we then practically be equanimous? When the boss says “Wow you’ve done amazing work here, you deserve this promotion!”, do we just scowl at him and walk away? Or do we say “No sir, it wasn’t me.” The boss is then likely to keep the promotion/bonus for himself 🙂

The way prescribed in the scriptures, is ‘surrender’. Surrender with faith, to the divine, or if that’s too abstract, then to the Guru. In Hindi, sur means head. So putting your head under the Guru or ishta devata, offering everything to him or her. Everything means all good and all bad without distinction. So grab that promotion by all means, but mentally prostrate and offer it to your deity of choice. This will keep us grounded, always. Difficult, but worth it.

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Ritualistic

There is only one true reason to perform rituals, as my Guru says. And that is, to purify the mind.

What does purification of the mind mean? At one level, it involves destroying the mind altogether. In a non-violent manner of course. We all know our monkey-minds are always going off on tangents, ever seeking more and more. What if this mind could come under control? Very difficult? I agree!

At another (and maybe more easier, and more tangible) level, purifying the mind involves broadening its scope. For most of us, our lives revolve only around ourselves – our wants, needs, desires. But what if we could include others, friends, family, acquaintances, strangers – eventually the whole world, especially all the good people – into our vision of goodness? What if we could desire good for all?

Herein lies the beauty of my Guru’s recommendations. Do the rituals you like, but perform them for the larger benefit of society. Chanting some shlokas? Excellent, chant for mother earth. Doing charity? Wonderful. Keep aside 10% of your income, no matter how small. Use the remaining 90% – invest it, let it compound – have it your way. But the 10% that you’ve decided to give away – that will begin to purify your mind. Because the human mind has been trained for countless generations to simply do everything it can to survive and sustain. There is more to life than that though. As the ancients tell us, the real magic happens when the ego melts away. That will happen when we truly believe that nothing belongs to ‘us’, and the mind merges with the universal mind.

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True greatness

Traditionally, we equate greatness to money, wealth, fame, riches, cars, bungalows, yachts, CEOs, Chairmen, senior management, foreign travel, foreign vacations, first and business class, limousines and a variety of other things.

But Martin Luther King Jr. had the final word on this.

Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.

He understood that greatness wasn’t about oneself, but how much one could use themselves for others.

No different from what Lord Krishna states in the Gita. As my Guru observes in the purport after chapter 13 verse 26 in his Amazing Simple Gita, “Many missions have realized that if we keep only the goal of realising the Lord we will tend towards laziness with only arguments and discussions. Prabhupad for example made it very clear that devotion means devotional service, chanting sixteen malas, trikala pooja etc is important but afterwards what will we be doing – we should be doing seva (service), spreading this knowledge, making more and more people noble and good.”

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Best friend, worst friend

Remember when as kids, we used to have things like katti and bacchi? Stick your thumb out and that would mean good friend. And stick your pinky finger out and that would become sworn enemy. And a friend of a friend is a friend, and enemy of an enemy is an enemy. But of course, we were kids, so allegiances would change mighty quickly! You want to play soccer and there is only one kid who owns the ball? Everyone wants to be bacchi with him. Kids also are very quick to say (often to the face) “That girl – she’s my friend, but this girl? She’s my best friend” much to the embarrassment of the parents!

Those days are past, and we have outgrown these best friend worst friend monikers. There is still one best/worst friend though for each one of us. And it is not only simultaneously both best and worst friend, but also the same for all of us! Guessed it? The mind!

As verse 6.5 in the Gita says, ‘Elevate yourself through the power of your mind, and not degrade yourself, for the mind can be the friend and also the enemy of the self.

How can we make sure that the mind remains our friend, and not enemy? By eventually replacing all desires and attachments with gratitude. If desire comes in between mind and intellect, then they squabble. If there are no desires, and work is done as a service to benefit mankind or at the instruction of the Guru, then the mind and intellect on the spiritual path are best friends!

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Giving advice

If someone comes up to you for advice, the best and only to way give any guidance, should be without expectations. Why?

Here’s someone who wants to know from you whether to do xyz or not. The following 4 outcomes are possible, assuming they follow your advice.

  1. You suggest they do xyz. They do it, and good happens. You were right, but they will attribute it to themselves.
  2. You suggest they do xyz. They do it, and bad happens. You were wrong, and they will attribute it to you.
  3. You suggest they do not do xyz. They don’t do it, and bad happens. You were wrong, and they will attribute it to you.
  4. You suggest they do not do xyz. They don’t do it, and good happens. You were right, but they will attribute it to themselves.

In all cases, you get no recognition. Does that mean we stop helping others? Absolutely not. But when we do so, we must have the best intentions in mind while guiding them, whilst having zero expectations. The end result is not in our control. And so expecting praise in return is foolhardy.

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536 AD

Did you just have the worst day, week or month ever? Yes, we’ve all had it bad – a terrible pandemic is wreaking havoc. And unfortunately, so many people have suffered immensely, many are dead too. But if you’re reading this, you’re at least alive. For many people, this year has been more of an inconvenience than anything worse. Still, there is no dearth of people cribbing despite the various conveniences they have got – including more time with family, more time with nature, lesser time spent commuting etc.

One way to remain mentally balanced, is to remember that things could have been much worse. How much worse, you ask? We need only look back to historian accounts of the year 536 AD. That is the year when a volcano in Iceland erupted. It sent such large volumes of ash into the atmosphere, that the whole earth was blanketed in smog – so much so that the sun could not be seen. Many parts of the world remained in darkness for two full years! Other consequences? The earth’s climate went for a toss resulting in droughts and starvation. The world economy went into depression. Enough already? This was then followed by a bubonic plague, wiping out 100 million people, nearly 50% of the world’s population at the time.

All this while not having TVs, computers, smartphones, internet and pretty much any technology. Today, we literally have everything, and have many many reasons to be happy. Yet many choose to isolate and focus only on the negatives. Let 536 AD be our wake up call.

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Take less stress

A simple principle to follow could be one of inversion. Continuing on from yesterday’s post titled ‘Take more stress’, here are some examples of useful inversion.

The things we are stressed about, and (how to invert them):

  1. landing a better job, (enjoying our current job to the fullest)
  2. earning more money, (living in contentment)
  3. finding a good spouse / partner, (being a good spouse/partner/person)
  4. having a good family, (loving the family you have, and being a dependable family person)
  5. going on a quality vacation, (living every moment like it’s a vacation)
  6. being recognized in society, (working for society)
  7. working to fulfil our kids desires, even if they don’t reciprocate, (allowing the kids to live their own lives, and taking care of your loved ones with no expectations)

On doing these, we will perhaps come to realize what Gandhi ji said, that peace is not a destination, but a path. Moksha is no different, and as my Guru says, available here and now to one and all.

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Lessons from letter writing

We would have all learnt to write formal letters in school. We would start with the date up top, then put a to address, then subject, then body of the letter and then finally sign off.

This last bit is where we were taught to end with “Thanking you; Yours Sincerely”, and that got me thinking. These two together summed up how to live life – peaceful and happy, with no place for stress or anxiety!

How? The first one is easy. ‘Thanking you’ is symbolic of gratitude. Just being grateful is enough to move our mind from a constant state of worry about the future, into happiness for the present.

The second one ‘Yours sincerely’, represents how we must carry out our work / duties. What I’m guilty of though, is being too serious instead of sincere, i.e. ‘Yours Seriously’. How can I enjoy my work then? Of course I will feel anxious. Replacing seriousness with sincerity is the answer, focusing on enjoying the process without worrying about the result.

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Wake up

In their 2001 hit song Chop Suey, American band System of a Down crooned “Wake up wake up, grab a brush and put a little make up. Hide the scars to fade away the shake-up”. The song was intense to say the least, and while the rest of it is irrelevant, this portion well summarizes how many begin their day – stressed, anxious, shaken-up and somewhat empty inside.

“How do I get rid of stress and anxiety?” is the title of a YouTube video I recently watched. The question was asked by Indian Bollywood celebrity Suresh Oberoi to Shivani didi of the global Brahmakumaris movement.

Her response was crisp, simple, practical and immediately actionable.

  1. Our thoughts and words manifest into the reality around us, albeit with a time lag.
  2. Therefore, we must think and speak positive, not negative.
  3. This positivity can only be generated from within, as we do not have control over what goes on outside.
  4. Do not look at your phone for the first 30 to 60 minutes after waking up. This prevents us from falling into the clutches of the world, which tends to send all sorts of negative ideas and emotions.
  5. Start with gratitude. Before even opening your eyes, feel grateful for your life, healthy body, family, money, opportunities etc. This will over the course of a few days significantly reduce our complaining / criticising behaviour.
  6. Choose and repeat a few affirmations relevant to you. Like “I am enjoying my work, and am very successful”, or “I am very healthy and healed” or “I have amazing relationships” etc.

That’s it. Easy to practise? Found it useful?

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Foodies galore

Ah food. The thing that unites people. Across age groups and profiles, everybody loves to to eat tasty food. When the pandemic struck, it appeared that many restaurants would shut down, and delivery startups would be finished. While the ensuing months have no doubt been very hard on this industry, people’s love, nay craving for food has only gotten stronger.

Indeed at the first signs of unlock measures, restaurants and street vendors are teeming with people, almost revenge-binging. The Swiggys, Zomatos and Uber Eats of the world? Already back to pre-covid levels and beyond.

So what do our scriptures say about food? Here are three simple points to keep in mind:

1. The concept of bhiksha, i.e. eat whatever is given. This helps build self control.

2. Even if you don’t like the food, try to savour it and enjoy it. No complaints. The unfortunate soul who was starving would gulp down what is in your plate within seconds.

3. Mentally offer whatever food we receive to the Lord. This reinforces gratitude and reduces ego.

We are certainly lucky, that despite a very hard year, we still have food on our plates. That is more than many can hope for.

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2021

A simple but important blog post to ring in the new year. Here are five things for me to work on, so as to get the best from 2021.

  1. Every day, all day, be happy and grateful for everything we already have. Success, money, fame will come automatically.
  2. Zero compromise on health (i.e. proper nutrition and exercise) – for if there’s one thing an invisible virus from 2020 has taught us, it is that without a fit body and mind, everything else is pointless.
  3. Give / donate / help generously and selflessly. This is the only way to purify the mind and intellect. (Why? Because it removes the notion of ego / i-i-i)
  4. Join a satsang and / or actively participate in one. Repeatedly dunking the mind in scriptural knowledge as guided by the Guru and applying it in our lives will fast track our spiritual transformation.
  5. Enjoy every single moment, and look at every stumbling block as an opportunity to improve. As they say, there are no failures, only lessons.

Are these easy to follow? Do you have other things you would like to focus on? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below. All the best for 2021!

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Tireless

Here’s a miracle that happened to me recently.

We took on the 5.5 hour drive from Bangalore to Coorg in a self-drive car. The weather was good. Cold, but not chilling. A kind departure from the incessant heat of elsewhere. All was well, until about 3 hours in. We had just entered a little town seemingly in the middle of nowhere. The roads were narrow, with plenty of oncoming traffic. A few cows and buffaloes had stationed themselves strategically. A big Toyota Innova behind us, was unable to overtake and get ahead – thanks to all this ‘traffic’. Five minutes of several failed attempts and many horns later, his frustration was clear.

And suddenly, a window of opportunity. He quickly overtook us, and as he did, one of his co-passengers was rolling down his window. That person indicated with his hands that something was wrong. I quickly stopped my car on the side, only to find not one, but two flat tires. On the opposite side of the road was a petrol pump, so I went over to see if someone could help. Nope, no tire guys there. He did point me a few shops away though and asked me to check there. A quick U-turn later, that shopkeeper said a few kilometres away I would find a shop. I explained that I could in no way go that far with two flats. Another man present there suggested another shop just fifty meters away. What’s the name – I asked. “Guru steels”, came the reply. I quickly drove ahead, and lo and behold – a tire shop. It was empty though, and a young chap was manning the neighbouring store. I asked if he could help with the puncture – to which he pointed across the road and beckoned. A frail gaunt man was eating watermelon. He crossed over to our side, gave a big smile, and asked if these were tubeless tires. I said “yes”, to which he said, “don’t worry I will fix these for you.”

Sure enough, in 30 minutes, he had checked both tires, taking them off, dunking them in water, plugging the holes/changing the valves, and having us good to go. The 100 kilometres we drove thereafter to reach our destination, had practically no tire change shops. Okay there were a few, but were closed. And the immediate 40 kilometres after the flats? Absolutely barren land. No people even, let alone shops. It would have been such a mess. But right from the Innova to the watermelon-eating tire changer to the name of the shop to them having the required valves – it was all seemingly planned to divine perfection.

How can I ever repay Nature / God / my Guru / the Universe? I can’t, because nothing can ever parallel such miracles. I can only bow my head down in gratitude, and hope that some day I too get the chance to pay it forward.

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Wonderland to wasteland

We’ve seen previously how one of the definitions of Dharma is ‘the stabilization force’ or ‘balancing factor’. This weekend, I watched a documentary featuring none other than Sir David Attenborough, the 93-year-young foremost nature conservancy expert in the world. Freshly released on Netflix, the film is titled A Life on Our Planet. And boy was it an eye opener. The scenes are a mix of joy (unimaginable biodiversity), tragedy (this biodiversity is dying, or rather we humans are killing it), and hope (of restoring this balance).

Here are a few painful and mind numbingly hard-hitting facts recounted in this documentary:

  1. We cut down over 15 billion trees a year.
  2. In all, we have cut 3 trillion trees. This is half of all the trees on the planet.
  3. 90% of all large fish in the sea are gone, due to overfishing.
  4. As a consequence, a significant part of the marine ecosystem is dead.
  5. This has impacted the oceans ability to absorb carbon dioxide, which has led to warmer climates, and erratic seasons.
  6. In each of the past 5 mega extinctions, it took volcanic eruptions 1 million years to increase the temperature. Thanks to our industrialization, we have increased the temperature in under just 200 years.
  7. Of all the mammals on earth, all humans together weigh 56%. The food humans eat (cattle reared for meat etc.) makes up 40%. Just 4% – are all the other mammals put together – from mouse to blue whale.

Mother Earth has given us everything for free. But if we do not know how to receive graciously, She will not hesitate to rebalance the power. We must do our very best – living mindfully, both collectively and individually, in order to save the planet and ourselves. Otherwise, an unmitigated disaster is on hand.

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Why gratitude helps

We are always thinking about ourselves. Always. Maybe about how we move to the next rung in the career ladder. Or how we can diversify our income sources. Maybe how / when to find a partner. Or how to raise kids. Maybe how to make that important presentation at work this week. Or what to cook for today, tomorrow, day after. Maybe what the neighbours might say about what we might say to them. Or what our extended family might comment about our buying a new car. Or where we should plan a trip to in the coming festive season. Maybe about how I’m wasting time thinking about all these things, when I can better spend this time reading a book. But oh which book should I pick? Will this book help me in my work, and can I talk about it in my social circle? There’s also this party this weekend where I’ll be meeting all these people after so long – what should I wear? Have I become fat with so many days cooped up at home? Maybe no one will notice. But what if they do? And on and on and on it goes…

With so many random thoughts going on in our minds at all times, it is no wonder that we are anxious and stressed easily.

If we are on stage, and the spotlight is on us, can we see anything around us clearly? Not at all. Gratitude helps because it takes the spotlight off of us, and puts it onto someone or something else. It is that simple. And worth it. Next time we feel anxious or worried about something, we just need to thank our stars for what we already have, including our families, friends, employer, opportunities and everything else. We will tangibly notice the anxiety slipping away.

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‘Car’pe diem

It comes naturally to people with a finance / accounting background to try and compute an ‘intrinsic value’ for everything.

When I was looking to buy a car a few years ago, I was trying to understand how much of the car value would get struck off right out the showroom. This is why some people only buy used cars. A subsequent survey revealed to me that about 20% of the value of the car would get depreciated at the end of year 1 itself. As I was trying to get my hands around these numbers, I reached out to a very good friend for advice.

“Hey, I’m trying to figure this car purchase out. Seems like a sunk cost this thing. I put in money, and then a fifth gets wiped out in 1 year. This depreciation of the asset seems too high. What should I do?”

My friend said, “Dude, chill, you yourself are a depreciating asset. We all are! Do you realize that? Just do what you want, but enjoy the moment!”

It’s not like we do not know it. But the way he put it – it really opened my eyes. Why was I worrying about depreciating assets, while I myself was/am depreciating? This is not to say one must not be savvy about personal finances. Much the opposite in fact. But trying to save every last penny is likely to result in anxiety that negates the benefit from the savings.

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How to sleep like a baby

Here’s an amazing sleep trick we can all practise daily. Only 2 steps to it:

Step 1: When you hit the bed and are about to sleep, recall 2 or 3 things that happened in your day, that you are grateful for. It could be about some of your favourite food you ate, a friend who helped you, the affection your pet showered you with, the fact that you are alive, the fact that you have a home and a bed to sleep on, and / or any other thing.

Step 2: Feel light. Forget all the problems that that you need to deal with tomorrow and day after and thereafter. All those will take care of themselves in time. Just relax in the moment. Keep repeating to yourself that everything is fine. “As of this second, everything is fine. When I sleep, I am leaving behind all my problems.” Smile, and feel happy.

Very very simple things to try, and each one of us can do it, without exception.

Try it out, and see the difference in the quality of sleep!

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Can we stop accruing karma?

The law of karma is all encompassing. But since it is often difficult to come to terms with, we overthink, and this can be somewhat deleterious to us.

For instance, when we let extra water run while showering / brushing, couldn’t that water have been used by someone who has limited / no access to water, like maybe in a desert? Or when we devour an animal for food, wouldn’t we accrue bad karma for killing it? Same story for plants, as some non-vegetarians argue? How about when we land a job, get a degree, or secure an admission, sometimes through connections – aren’t these ‘victories’ of ours, depriving many others of what could have been theirs? And the times spent in a car for leisure travel so that one may de-stress, or a flight for a business meeting. Aren’t we polluting Mother Earth? And all those instances when we’ve competed with friends, relatives and others for who drives who where, who wins which sport, who plays what board game, who gets to keep what things, and all the slandering that happens thereafter? How about where we have an array of choices for what to eat, what to wear, what to speak etc. while so many people do not even have their basic rights and freedoms?

Does karma not accrue from all these things?

You can bet it does! The karma logbook is constantly updating itself – never to miss a thing.

The only way we can justify our actions then, is by devoting our actions for the greater good. Whatever we benefited from, it is our duty to give back to society, and this must always be our endeavour. And it always begins with gratitude.

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MJ can change your life!

No MJ is not Michael Jackson, or Michael Jordan, or even Mary Jane.

MJ stands for Miracle Journal. And MJ can indeed change your life – because it certainly did mine!

The concept is simple, but the magic is in the doing.

Pull out a notebook, either a physical one, or an online note-taking app, like Evernote.

Start listing down all the miracles that have happened in your life. Just one line each.

Irrespective of how tough our lives may have been, we have each had those magical moments. Like the time a friend saved you when you were in trouble. The time when you went on your first date with your partner. The time when ate your most favourite food. Or when the delivery guy came just in time as you were leaving on vacation. The vacation itself. The visa for the journey, that came through despite you not meeting all the criteria. Or the job you got when you needed one so badly. Or the promotion. When a stranger helped you with directions in an unfamiliar city. That one teacher in kindergarten who was extra kind to you. Getting a taxi just when you need it.

Yes, these are tiny almost unnoticeable events in our lives. But taken together, they are a gargantuan force that has shaped who we are today. On any day when things aren’t going that well for us, all we need to do, is to open up MJ, and relive what life has given us, and how gracious it has been.

Trust me, we will feel lucky instantly, and the rest of the day will be fantastic. Try it – MJ will not disappoint!

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If you’re happy and you know it

We function at our best when we are happy and motivated. There is no need to quote any scientific research on this, because we have each experienced this first hand.

We love going to work when we are involved in a meaningful project with much acknowledgement. But we hate going to work when we are at the receiving end of office politics.

For those who have work, the work is usually boring or irritating or frustrating or stupid or anxiety-inducing or unfulfilling or exhausting and/ or many other things. For those who don’t have work – the ones who have to support their families, who just got laid off, their companies were shut down etc. – all they can think of, is how and when their next paycheck would come.

In India, for the job of a ‘messenger’ in a State police department, there were over 93,000 applicants. These included 3,700 PHDs, 50,000 graduates and 28,000 post-graduates. The requirements of the job? Having cleared grade 5 in school, and being able to ride a bicycle. The benefits? A 250 US$ salary and job security. How does this make you feel about your job, if you already have one? Gratitude is a wonderful thing.

This is not to say, that we must never have goals and never aim for a promotion or a better job. Rather, we can do all these much better, if we are happy and motivated with what we are already doing. This approach will make us maximally efficient, freeing up mental and physical resources to work on our ambitions.

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