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Month: September 2021

One at a time

One at a time

Published September 30, 2021

Sometimes there’s just too much to focus on. Like the rabbits that Jack Ma talked about once. He said that if you’ve got a room full of rabbits and you need to catch one, most people start with the rabbit closest to them. If that runs away, then they switch to the next nearest one. Momentarily another rabbit comes into view, and then they run after that one. And then another one. At the end, they are left with no rabbit.

The better way, is to just focus on one rabbit all along.

This can be extended to our daily ‘things to do’ checklist as well. We could focus on one newspaper, one podcast, one TV show, one book, one scripture, one chapter, one YouTube channel etc. Even within these, say one specific online course that we like, the focus can be on doing only the 10 minutes it requires per day. That would make it easy to execute as well as track.

If this is implemented with discipline, it can work wonders in the medium to long term. But if not, then at the end of the month, on one fine weekend, we are suddenly saddled with hours of work to catch up on, which then leads to anxiety and feelings of incompetence. 10 minutes a day. That’s all it takes. It’s a fine line!

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I swear

I swear

Published September 29, 2021

Here’s a cute scene on TV I saw recently.

A table had a small glass jar with a few coins in it. A label ‘Swear Jar’ is pasted across it. A mother is seen berating her 5 year old daughter’s use of swear words. Every time she says a bad word, the kid needs to put a dollar from her pocket money into the ‘swear jar’.

Like all kids, this one too tries to find loopholes, asking her teacher to “go to shell” and “what the muck” among other such cleverly hidden expletives.

The mother is initially irritated by this behaviour. But it dawns on her that the “swear jar” is not the right approach. If one were to create a rule such that the target person (the 5 yo) can’t even understand (because she is too young to), then of course said target would try to break the rule!

The mother then changes tactics and says something beautiful. “Baby, no more swear-jar okay? That is pointless. But I want you to understand why bad words are not okay. And that’s because bad words make other people feel bad. Now you are such a good girl – surely you don’t want other people feeling bad because of what you say do you?”

“No mommy.”

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TT extraordinaire

TT extraordinaire

Published September 28, 2021

This past weekend, a few of us from the extended family had a quick and wonderful outing. One of the cool things about technology is that it makes it easy to find independent bungalows for rent, which are financially pretty reasonable, because we can apportion the larger cost across more people.

The other advantage of having an independent house? An awesome games room! So we played a lot of table tennis, and of course it was fun blaming the table, the racket, the ball, the net and everything else!

The most important thing for table tennis though, is one’s arms / hands. That’s what we’ve to really be thankful for. No hands, no table tennis, right?

Nope! Meet Ibrahim Ahmadtou, who lost both his arms when he was just 10 years old in a train accident. He didn’t step out of his house for an entire year as he couldn’t bear the ignominy of his disability. But today at the age of 48, he is no less a world champion, representing Egypt in the Paralympics.

How can he play table tennis without hands? He uses his mouth of course! And he tosses the ball up with his feet. Do have a look at some YouTube videos. The technique is simply extraordinary, but what is even more so, is his iron will power.

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On priority

On priority

Published September 27, 2021

How does one who is completely devoted to and lost in the Lord behave? Maybe there’s more than one way – surely. But here’s what’s on the cover page of the Mukunda-mala-stotra book originally composed by King Kulasekhara and then of course expounded upon by various greats. This specific excerpt is from Srila Prabhupada’s commentaries:

When King Kulasekhara saw the breath-taking beauty of Lord Krishna in ecstatic trance, he lost all the desire to rule his vast kingdom. Later he wrote, "My mind cannot turn from Sri Krishna's lotus feet even for a moment. So let my dear ones and other relatives criticize me, my superiors accept me or reject me as they like, the common people spread evil gossip about me, and my family's reputation be sullied. For a madman like me, it is honour enough to feel this flood of love for Godhead, which brings such sweet emotions of attraction for my Lord"

The very things that we each are craving for – societal approval, name, fame, wealth, status – are being given up in an instant by a great King, simply because he tasted the true nectar of being one with the Lord. We are no kings, so it is all the more important that we have our priorities straight. But is that the case?

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Meditative living

Meditative living

Published September 26, 2021

Benefits of meditation for 15-20 minutes a day:

  1. More energy during the day
  2. Better mental health
  3. Better physical health
  4. Improved creativity
  5. Anger control
  6. and many others

Imagine life without any meditation – would we get these benefits?

Seen differently, once the meditation is over, we are back again into the same big bad world, and chasing after the same big bad things. Meditation calms us down, and then the world rakes us up all over again. That is the power of maya. It is a cycle. Meditation also doesn’t help beyond a point does it?

Only way is to break the cycle. To mentally give up attachments and desires, irrespective of how one lives physically. That is meditating 100% of the time, i.e. meditative living.

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Creator Groomer

Creator Groomer

Published September 25, 2021

Most of us are working our day jobs, doing mundane stuff, often not liking it much.

And many companies too do not expect their employees to grow beyond a point either.

Seniors want to ensure their own seats are secure, and often happy slave-driving their juniors – and to make sure they do not leave the firm for whatever reason. Everyone is just thinking about themselves all the time.

But I came across a startup recently. The founder wrote an open letter, which to me was quite a lovely way to think about work.

His point, was that there are so many problems to be solved in the world. And folks working with him were encouraged to take risks, to disrupt, to be fearless, and to build and scale products with impatient optimism.

He also said, that if any of his employees would leave to found another startup, then he would go out of his way to invest in that new business.

Not just that, he would also enable the new startup to access his own set of VC/PE investors. How awesome is that?!

Not just giving jobs, but funding a potential job creator. Not just being a leader, but being a leader groomer! The magic truly happens when one thinks selflessly about others.

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Tail wagger

Tail wagger

Published September 24, 2021

People nowadays don’t want to workout without a smart watch. It has to have a calorie counter – so that the exact calories expended are tracked accurately. People also like to have their heart rates reported. SPO2 monitored as well. And GPS enabled of course – how else would the running / walking path be charted?

Even weighing scales send electric impulses at two different frequencies which then measure not just a person’s weight but also report water levels, subcutaneous fat, visceral fat, protein levels, body fat percentage, skeletal muscle etc etc. I learned that this is called bio-impedance.

Technology is certainly super awesome for these things.

But all these gadgets, all this technology… these are merely enablers. They will still not do the workout for us. We still need to wake up, get up and move our bodies. Ultimately, it is our bodies that are the greatest technology ever.

But it has become a classic case of tail wagging the dog. If we exercise, we will be fit, irrespective of whether we wear smart watches or not. Exercise is critical, while the calorie counter is incidental. Technology needs us, not the other way around. We must keep reminding ourselves.

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What’s up doc

What’s up doc

Published September 23, 2021

During a recent visit to a hospital, I happened to look at the doctor roster.

Just a quick glance, nothing out of the ordinary here.

Many doctor names, many many more credentials, and then their practice timings.

9 am to 4 pm, Monday to Friday. 9 am to 12.30 pm on Saturdays.

Wow they work Saturdays too. And here I am cribbing about my never ending 5 day week. I need to change my perspective on life, and learn from these literal life-savers and life-givers.

And then a few names below, one doctor had a unique ending time for his practice. It read as follows:

“From 9 am, till the last patient is seen.”

Now isn’t that just an exceptional work ethic?

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The secret to success at work

The secret to success at work

Published September 22, 2021

We often struggle with delusions of grandeur. “How will it feel when I become CEO?”, “How will it feel when I buy my own BMW sports coupe?”, “How will it feel when I hit a 100 million in net worth?”, and so on. These aren’t delusions because they will not happen. Rather they are so, simply because they haven’t happened yet.

A very interesting book written by Anshul Chaturvedi called Vivekananda Handbook for Everyday Living is one I just finished reading. And here are 3 very relevant quotes from the great Swami himself. Perfectly applicable to such scenarios, where we are constantly in doubt: ‘what is my duty?’, ‘will I be successful in my current avatar?’, ‘am I good enough?’, or ‘will I ever make it?’. Grandeur … it just always seems out of reach.

  1. By doing well the duty which is nearest to us, the duty which is in our hands now, we make ourselves stronger. We find ourselves in the position for which we are fit, and if one has some capacity above another, the world will find it out too.
  2. He who grumbles at the little thing that has fallen to his lot to do, will grumble at everything. Always grumbling, he will lead a miserable life. But that man who does his duty as he goes, putting his shoulder to the wheel, higher and higher duties will fall to his share.
  3. When you are doing any work, do not think of anything beyond. Do it as worship, as the highest worship, and devote your whole life to it for the time being.

Simple, profound, and life changing!

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Reasonable

Reasonable

Published September 21, 2021

Here’s an interesting interview experience I came across recently. It was one of the early rejects of a person who is very successful today. Not everyone starts off with a golden spoon right?

His interview was with one of the best airlines in the world. He wanted to travel the world, and given he was young, what better way than to get the job of an air steward.

After a few initial group activity rounds that this gentleman breezed through, there was a personal interview round with just one question.

“What would you choose – food, or… service?”

Now this seems like the most obvious question and the most obvious answer for what is a business that thrives on providing the best service to all its fliers. Oops did I just drop a hint?

But this young man all of 18 years blurted out “food”, and was immediately shown the door. While it might seem like an idiotic answer, he came from a very poor background, with uneducated parents who struggled every single day to put food on the table. He had never even eaten at a restaurant till then. Of course “food” would be the first thing on his mind.

This is not about whether he should have been selected or not. Even this gentleman has no grudges. However for our own mental peace, it would help to cut people some slack for their weird ways. They may say or do crazy things, but there could be a good reason for it.

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Role reversal

Role reversal

Published September 20, 2021

Arjuna in the Mahabharata underwent a role reversal. He spent years and years training and performing as one of the greatest archers / warriors that ever lived. But on the day of the Kurukshetra battle, he underwent an unexpected role change.

He saw no foes or enemies, only brothers and uncles and teacher.

He was suddenly not a warrior on that battlefield, but only a family man. Can a doctor perform a high risk surgery successfully on his own child? Very difficult. Why? Because he has entered he operating theatre less as a doctor and more as a father. Can we clinch a business deal if we are constantly thinking about being with family or vacationing?

The pangs of attachment begin to play on the mind, leading to what Arjuna faced as well – delusion.

What is the solution? Before solution, must come acknowledgement of the problem. One the problem is located, the resolver is the Guru. But the resolution happens, only if the ego is surrendered to him.

As Swami Paramarthananda says, the disciple needs to first identify that a problem exists. And then the Guru needs to not only know the remedy, but also be free of the problem!

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Live in the moment (really?)

Live in the moment (really?)

Published September 19, 2021

Here’s something we hear often. And it is linked to spirituality too. “Live in the present”, “Live in this moment alone”, “Don’t live in the past or in the future”, “the present is a gift” and so on and so forth. There are many variations of these. And they all sound amazing. Liberating too. Marry these words with some spectacular visuals on Instagram or Facebook and that is enough to make even a corpse feel all charged up and alive.

Feeling charged up and alive is indeed a good thing. But ‘living in the present’ needs to be understood well. It is ultimately dependent on the internal qualities or gunas of a person.

If people are sattvik by nature, they are likely to work for others and for a greater cause. Therefore their focus while working – in the true sense – will not be focused on the results of their actions.

For tamasik people however, this is not so obvious. They too may appear to not care about the result. But this apparent lack of caring comes from a deep rooted centre of laziness, inertia and selfishness which precludes them from calling a spade a spade. Their very success comes from denying the truth, and from seeking to avoid the consequences of their actions.

In that sense, the rajasik folks may be better off – as they at least know there is a gap which they need to bridge.

And thus, it is important to understand well what it takes to live in the moment. If we are thinking only about ourselves, jumping from one desire to the next, we may already be many moments ahead, and certainly not in the present.

If one has transcended the ego however, and is working solely for the benefit of the greater good, then living in the moment will come automatically. It is a state of ‘flow’. Nothing needs to be done to achieve it.

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Working for what?

Working for what?

Published September 18, 2021

A scene from the hit movie Munnabhai MBBS shows a very disgruntled hospital janitor. No matter what the situation, he is always grumpy.

Why? Well of course, he makes very little money. But according to him, it’s not the money alone. It’s also the fact that so many people just keep coming in and leaving their dirty footprints and shoeprints all over the floors that he would have just then finished cleaning. This includes all the well-respected doctors and nurses, not just many pay grades above him, but also much higher on the societal respectability scale. No wonder he is unhappy.

That is until the protagonist comes along. He tell the janitor that sweeping floors is one of the most important duties to society, and more so to a hospital. He goes on to explain, that doctors and nurses can only attempt to cure sickness after a person has already fallen ill. But the janitor? He is in a unique position. He is able to prevent ailments by keeping his hallways and rooms spic and span. The janitor now has an elevated responsibility and higher purpose to live up to!

We too may feel we are doing janitorial duties sometimes. And even sitting in a plush corporate office can give us this feeling. It can also happen at any level of seniority. That is why, even successful CEOs and Heads of Businesses quit their jobs in order to find their calling. Quitting to find another job is certainly an option. But while we’re at the current job, we can keep the janitor’s lessons in mind, and look for the higher purpose.

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Tough life

Tough life

Published September 17, 2021

When life gets tough, we often just want to kick it all off and take a break. But few have this luxury. Here are some things we can do irrespective of whether life has gotten tough or not. It’s hard to practise, but this is what great and successful people have advised and continue to advise.

  1. Smile. That’s it. Easy peasy. But can we smile when we know the world around us seems to be falling apart? And “falling apart” is really taking things to the extreme. Often times it is just one of our life-long dreams hitting a minor speedbump. Many times even smaller and more inconsequential, but which we love to focus on and exaggerate.
  2. Don’t complain. As they say, “Don’t tell people about your problems, because 80% of the people don’t care and the rest 20% are happy you have them!”
  3. Learn. All of life is about growing and becoming better. One day at a time. If we can’t learn from our or other people’s experiences aka failures, then those would only be wasted opportunities.
  4. Give back. Living life for ourselves alone is a huge huge huge burden. But living for improving the life of others, for the country, for the world? While the tasks may be harder, the selfless nature of the assignment will make the burden feel weightless.
  5. ABCs. Attitude, Behaviour, Character – this is what differentiates the best from the also-rans.

Finally, as Guruji always says, modern education and material comparisons can only help us in the material world. But the material world is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Our ultimate goal as human beings should be moksha, i.e. realizing our true nature is not of the body but of the Soul.

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Jumping high

Jumping high

Published September 16, 2021

In the Tokyo Olympics high-jump event, the competition was down to two finalists. Both of them jumped exactly the same height of 2.37 metres. And so it was a tie.

The officials had each of them jump again – three more times in fact. But neither Olympian was able to better the 2.37 number.

In the last and final attempt, one of the two contestants had to withdraw because of a leg injury. The other bloke now had a clear path to gold.

But in what would go down in history books as an outstanding example of parasparam bhavayantah (Gita chapter 3, verse 11, nourish one another), the healthy contestant before his final attempt, first checked if he could … wait for it … share the gold with his opponent!

The officials quickly checked and confirmed that it would be indeed be possible. He decided to forgo his final attempt, and in the video, both players are ecstatically seen hugging each other. How amazing is that? We are brought up with the notion that if we win, someone else needs to lose. But life is not a zero-sum-game. If everyone wins, that is the highest jump of them all.

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Baby time

Published September 15, 2021

A lot of babies nowadays are raised not by their parents, but by their nannies.

Whether it’s feeding the baby, cleaning the baby, changing diapers, clothing the baby, carrying the baby, burping the baby, talking with the baby – you name it, and it’s done by the nannies.

The rationale is of course sound – couples in nuclear families have to manage the house and their office work. How can they possibly get time to fit a baby in as well?

Nannies get baby duties, while the parents continue to enjoy their favorite pastimes, whether sports, TV shows, movie outings, friend outings, eat outs, music concerts and a variety of other events. “We are still young. If not now, then when?”

Spending time with the baby is most critical during its first few years. If time is an issue, then why have a baby in the first place? As a wise elder in my family remarked, raising children is all about one and only one thing – Sacrifice. The parents would need to sacrifice their lives for the future of their kids. And when done well, when the sacrifice is out of love rather than lack of alternative, it earns the highest blessing.

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Pipe dream

Pipe dream

Published September 14, 2021

Here are some wonderful takeaways from a recent youth satsang session I had the good fortune and pleasure of attending. The topic of discussion was Dale Carnegie’s excellent book How to Win Friends & Influence People:

  1. You can disagree in specific instances, but no need to become a disagreeable person.
  2. If your child is not eating, or making a fuss, don’t cajole him. Instead make him want to come to the table. Give him a “special seat”.
  3. Begin with the other person in mind. Real-life example that was shared: If the tenants want the landlord to take care of a major plumbing problem, don’t just begin by complaining to the landlord. The way that worked was to have the landlord and his wife over for a nice homecooked meal, a lot of genuine compliments about the house included, and a mention of the plumbing issue tossed in at the end. Needless to say, the problem was fixed – quickly and for free.
  4. It is possible to change the other person’s behaviour, by changing one’s own behaviour towards them first.
  5. Integrated thinking – build the patience to hold and analyse two conflicting ideas in your head at the same time. If this can be done, the solution is often a 3rd way, which is even better than the first two ideas.

    Quite good no?

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Working remotely

Working remotely

Published September 13, 2021

There’s a lot of people who want to work remotely these days. Work from the mountains. Work from the snow. Work from the riverside. Work from the beaches. Work from anywhere but home. All you need is a strong internet connection and some good homecooked food.

I know many people who’ve made this journey as well. From a few weeks to a few months, they’ve tried different combinations. And technology has certainly made things easier. No denying that. However, the feedback I’ve got (and it’s expected of course!) is that the work doesn’t magically become lighter. The sweet aroma of the flowers from the mountain top does little to change the deadline of an irate client.

Said differently, all that matters is what’s in our minds. If we train it to seek a rumbling waterfall or gurgling creek in order to do our work well, then that’s what it will keep demanding, regardless of whether it actually works well in that landscape.

Also, we hardly know what is good for us – but we always think we do. A recent tragedy is a case in point. So many wanted to work remotely from this idyllic place. But said place saw unexpected rains and subsequent landslides that resulted in quite a bit of destruction and loss of lives. Sometimes, if life doesn’t go the way we dream it too, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Does that mean we should never wish for anything? Not at all, but if it doesn’t go our way, then best to just take it in our stride.

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Advanced beginner

Advanced beginner

Published September 12, 2021

As a kid, going to amusement parks meant having to size oneself up against a ‘bar’. If I was shorter than the bar, then sorry, that ride wasn’t for me, no matter how adventurous it looked.

We always want to be permitted to do what we want. To be what we want to be. No shackles, no limitations.

I came across a spiritual book recently, which needed some permissions to be read. To read a book? Really?

Here’s what the book cover said. “Only for advanced seekers or absolute beginners.”

What an amazing requirement. I don’t know what was in the book, but it certainly makes me want to read it (even though I don’t fulfil the requirements). I’m certainly not an advanced spiritual seeker. And unfortunately, I’m not an absolute beginner either. I’ve read some spiritual books and listened to some YouTube talks, and that means my ego has only risen, rather than crumbled, as would be ideal.

Krishna makes it explicitly clear in the Gita. He needs no status, wealth, name, education or credentials for granting a spiritual revolution unto Him. All he needs is a clean heart dedicated only to Him.

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What do we know?

What do we know?

Published September 11, 2021

Here are some common and seemingly innocuous questions one may be asking. All good until we think of possible but unexpected answers.

  1. On someone’s physical features. [Maybe they have thyroid / other issues and have been on medication, what do we know?]
  2. On someone’s employment status. [Maybe they have enough money saved / aren’t getting a job despite trying, what do we know?]
  3. On someone’s house and car. [Maybe they do not wish to show off / maybe they wish to show off / in any case a US$ 1 million house or car only indicate that the person had 1 million, which they don’t now; what do we know?]
  4. On someone’s kids. [Maybe the kids are autistic, maybe they have special needs, what do we know?]
  5. On someone’s social media posts. [Those posts couldn’t be further from the truth, so best to ignore, and what do we know?]
  6. On someone’s marital status. [Maybe they are unable to find the right person, or are headed for a divorce, what do we know?]
  7. On someone’s education and career choices. [Maybe they came from a poor background, needed to start earning quickly, what do we know?]
  8. On someone’s behaviour and biases. [Maybe they had a troubled upbringing, what do we know?]

Everyone is constantly fighting their own battles. Compassion and empathy rules the world – both material and spiritual.

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