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Month: June 2021

Angrrr

Angrrr

Published June 30, 2021

Here’s a thought on anger management. Many people believe they cannot stop being angry. However, when they scrutinize their own lives, they will realize that in front of their own family at home, they quickly fly off the handle every now and then. However the very same person, in front of his/her boss or an even higher superior – manages to stay calm, gritting and grinding their teeth, often in far worse circumstances than those presented at home.

One argument is that in the workplace, we are paid a salary, and a part of that goes towards handling such bouts of anger. That may be true to some extent. But imagine being put in front of the leader of your district / state / country / someone you respect. Of course you would not lose your temper in front of them – even though there is no payment!

The argument supporting anger-towards-one’s-family goes, “But hey they are my loved ones, and it’s only because I care so much that I get angry with them!” But think about it – if you truly loved them, why would you lose your temper on them? Would we want anyone to lose their temper on us? Also, if a cute little 3 month old baby pees or poops on us, do we lose our temper and beat the child up?

The Gita states definitively that anger comes from unfulfilled desire which in turn springs from attachment. The question is not about whether there is more anger when dealing with loved ones versus less when faced with others. If we can control anger in one case, surely we can control it in the other? The focus of all our scriptures and of spirituality itself, is always us – we ourselves. Of an internal transformation, not by chance, but by deliberate choice.

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Middleman

Middleman

Published June 29, 2021

There are so many messengers. So many intermediaries. So many so-called postmen.

Take the case of a delivery person from Dominos, Swiggy, Zomato or Grab. They take food from restaurant A to person A, and then restaurant B to person B and then restaurant C to person C. They carry the food with them, piping hot, tasty pizza, or lovely creamy pasta, or some tantalizingly cold ice cream sundaes. So yummy for the tummy. However, it is not for his tummy – for he is only the carrier, the messenger.

The same goes for a postman. He can carry letters of love and romance and adventure and delight. But none of them are addressed to him.

Likewise for the private secretaries of the king or queen. They may know all the intricate details, but cannot truly experience what their masters revel in.

This is the case for every single messenger there is – whether at home or at work or in politics or in society.

But there is one exception. And that is the Guru. He is the messenger of God, yes. But he is also completely dunked in the Bliss that is Consciousness, and therefore that makes him simultaneously both God and Carrier. Teacher and Creator. The Guru is the only one, who delivers the package as brand new, well after enjoying its contents. If such a messenger exists in our lives, we would do well to take in his message.

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AMP it up

AMP it up

Published June 28, 2021

Many of us think that money is a great motivator. It might well be, but when we think of money, we are usually thinking of our monthly salaries and quarterly or yearly bonuses. Maybe a 10% or 20% hike if things go well – somehow beat inflation, and keep the head above water. This should sufficiently keep us engaged and motivated at work shouldn’t it? But, does it? Don’t we all still have Monday morning blues?

In the 1970s, a psychologist ran an experiment requiring students to solve math puzzles. He paid some of them, and didn’t pay the others. Interestingly, he found that those who got paid actually showed lesser interest in solving their puzzles than those who didn’t get paid. Wow – what an unexpected outcome. This work brought to the fore the differences between extrinsic motivation (such as by money) and intrinsic motivation.

Daniel Pink in his book Drive mentions the 3 ingredients to intrinsic motivation:
1. Autonomy – this is what entrepreneurs love – doing what they want, not what someone else tells them to
2. Mastery – Being an expert in the chosen field
3. Purpose – Caring about the outcome means we will spring out of bed even on a Monday morning

Ideally, every workplace or employer should maximize opportunities for their employees’ A, M and P. But we know that rarely happens. Apart from gifting your boss and HR head a copy of this book, what else can we do? We can AMP it up on our own – to the extent possible. For instance, we can volunteer to take up mini-projects on our own, find niches to build skills in, and also attach a larger outcome to our work. Eventually, we may find that some amazing opportunities will find us. But we need to take the first step.

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ABCD work

ABCD work

Published June 27, 2021

Here’s a cool little snippet that popped up in my LinkedIn feed a few days ago. It was about how to prioritize things at work. Not that we need to take it too seriously, but the importance of prioritizing itself cannot be overemphasized.

The ABCD principle is Hindi-based and goes thus:

A – Apna kaam, i.e. one’s own work
B – Boss ka kaam, i.e. the boss’ work
C – Company ka kaam, i.e. the company’s work
D – Dusro ka kaam, i.e. other people’s work

Similar to “please put your own oxygen mask first before assisting others”, here too, first do your work, before trying to do great things for others. Of course, nothing is applicable 100% of the times, but this is certainly a good thumb rule to keep in mind.

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Doing the dishes

Doing the dishes

Published June 26, 2021

Here’s an example of applying learnings from spirituality to the real world.

You have a maid for cleaning utensils. You pay her a salary. You pay her even if she doesn’t come for a few days, like when she took time off to go back to her ancestral home, or when there was a lockdown etc. You also pay her kids’ school fees, and often buy chocolates for them. She knows you are a good person.

One day you need to go out urgently, maybe to the hospital or some such. It’s unavoidable, and so you ring up the maid and request her to come in earlier, only for today, and only by a couple of hours. She replies with some excuse (like she has to cook food at her home) and hence cannot come.

It’s easy to get angry at this point – even if only internally. “I’ve done so much for this maid, and the one day when I have an urgency, she can’t make it?” That she cannot come, is a fact. But how we react to the situation is not yet so, and entirely in our control. We could get angry and spoil the mood of the entire home for the day. Or we could don the kitchen gloves, put on our earphones and listen to music or a podcast while doing the dishes. Two birds with one stone. The solution is in our own hands.

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NWL

NWL

Published June 25, 2021

In the amazing Netflix show The Crown, there’s an interesting scene. The show itself chronicles Queen Elizabeth’s life and her ascension to the throne at a relatively young age. I don’t know if that’s what the entire show is about – we’re only on season 1, and there are three more to go at least. But soon after her coronation, her mother (now the ex-queen Mary) feels quite suffocated and heads off to Scotland to be with some friends and to get some air (riding horses by the seaside, hiking in amazingly scenic landscapes, you get the drift). In this particular scene, the ex-Queen is asked by her friends, “Has it been very difficult?” To which she replies thus:

"I don't want to sound self-piteous but loss has followed loss. First and foremost, the loss of a husband.
Then the loss of a home, having to leave the palace. The loss of motherhood, as daughters become adults.
Loss of a routine, a sense of purpose. The loss of a Crown. Imagine, 17 years' experience as Queen and being the head of the family. Bertie was a wonderful husband and father, but he needed a great deal of help as King.
And then we lose him and, at precisely the moment when they should be giving me more to do, stop me falling into despair, they take it all away... They put it all into the hands of a girl who's totally unequipped for it."

If this were to be on Twitter, people would tag it as #firstworldproblems. Of course, a bereavement is never easy. But it also shows that power – especially got from position – is impossible to let go of. What she went through, every human being must go through as they age – whether queen or not. It begs the question – do we even realize when our needs becomes wants, and our wants become luxuries?

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Attitude platitude – part 4

Attitude platitude – part 4

Published June 24, 2021

My Guru’s brilliant notes on the ‘importance of right attitude’, continues and concludes below:

5. Start the day and end the day with positive input into your mind. Inspirational messages cause the brain to flood with dopamine and norepinephrine, the energizing neurotransmitters; with endorphins - the endurance neurotransmitters; and with serotonin, the feel-good-about-yourself neurotransmitter.

6. Begin and end the day by reading or doing something positive.

7. Remember, success is a process, not an event.

8. Invest your time in your attitude, and it will pay off in your skills as well as your career. Think about it...

What a brilliant note written by the Guru isn’t it? We are all hankering after skills. But hankering after the ‘right attitude’ instead will in turn bring skills, luck, success, fame, fortune and whatever else one desires!

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Attitude platitude – part 3

Attitude platitude – part 3

Published June 23, 2021

Continuing again, my Guru’s typewritten message on the importance of the right attitude.

3. Read something informational or inspirational every day. Reading for 20 minutes at just 240 words per minute will enable you to read twenty 200-page books each year. That is 18 more than what the average person reads! What an enormous competitive advantage ... if you'll just read for 20 minutes a day.

4. The University of Southern California reveals that you can acquire the equivalent of two years of a college education in three years just by listening to motivating and educational cassettes on your way to your job, and again on the way home. What could be easier?

A 2021 reference for point 4 above – we can replace ‘cassettes’ with ‘podcasts’. Many are yet to discover the amazing power of podcasts – but all you need to do is download any podcast player app from your app-store, and then search for and add your favourite channels / topics. It is like having the most successful people on earth talking to you in your ear, as you go about doing your housework or other activities.

Sorry for the digression. Continued (and concluded) tomorrow…

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Attitude platitude – part 2

Attitude platitude – part 2

Published June 22, 2021

Continuing from yesterday, my Guru’s typewritten message on the importance of the right attitude.

Perhaps if more people knew how simple it is to develop and maintain a positive attitude, they would invest more time doing so.

So here we go. Five steps to staying positive in a negative world:

1. Understand that failure is an event, it is not a person. Yesterday ended last night; today is a brand new day, and it's yours. You were born to win. But to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and then you can expect to win.

2. Become a lifetime student. Learn just one new word ever day, and in five years you will be able to talk with just about anybody on anything. When your vocabulary improves, your IQ goes up 100% of the time, according to Georgetown Medical School.

Continued tomorrow…

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Attitude platitude

Attitude platitude

Published June 21, 2021

Here are a series of posts which will simply cover what my Guru had written in a single typewritten note a few decades ago. It is so fine in its choice of words and intent, that any modifications I make to it will only worsen it. So here it is, with no further ado:

Harvard and Stanford Universities have reported that 85% the reason a person gets a job and gets ahead in that job is due to attitude; and only 15% is because of technical or specific skills. Interesting, isn't it?

You spent how much money on your education? And you spent how much money on building your positive attitude? Ouch! That hurts.

Now here's an interesting thought. With the 'right' attitude, you can and will develop the necessary skills. So where is your emphasis? On skill building? Or on attitude building?

Unfortunately, 'neither' is the real answer for many people.

Continued tomorrow…

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Standing tall

Standing tall

Published June 20, 2021

As a boy, one of the important things as you’d grow up to becoming an adult is your height. The magic 6-feet number is an elusive one for many, maybe most. It’s cool to be tall, you can see above most others in the room, and perhaps even be spotted by the ladies, head above the rest and all. But height is not what one has under their control. You can hang from pull-up bars, but there is no guarantee!

Over time, these views change.

You realize that being physically tall is irrelevant – but one is as tall as the problems they have overcome.

One’s actual figure on the weighing scale doesn’t matter much, but one’s influence in life – amongst their colleagues, peers, friends and family is what counts.

The fairness of the skin is not important, but one’s moral code, impartiality and treating everyone around them fairly is what could be a real differentiator in this world.

The strength of the muscles in the body is a good sign of physical health, but far more important perhaps is the strength of the mind – which would help one dominate fear, failure and self-doubt.

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Not just a librarian

Not just a librarian

Published June 19, 2021

We learn and discuss much about giving and its importance. Yet we may be gnawed by doubt at the time of the act. Are we giving away too much? Does the recipient really deserve my generosity? What if s/he uses it for the wrong reasons? What if they turn out to be a fake, a hoax amongst hoaxes?

Meet Mr Palam Kalyanasundaram from South India. Probably around 75 years old now, he worked as a librarian for 30 years, and donated every single rupee he earned from it to charity. 100% of his income – wow what a feat. How did he sustain himself? By waiting tables at a nearby restaurant, and doing other odd jobs.

He was awarded the title of Man of the Millennium by the USA, being the first person in the world to give away his entire earnings for social causes, and given a gift of INR 300 mn. All the money was of course immediately donated to orphanages and to children’s educational funds. He had earned INR 1 mn as pension, which too he donated to the needy.

Mr Kalyanasundaram in an interview has said that there is nothing in this world that is more fulfilling or brings more happiness than donating one’s own hard earned income to charity. When he can do 100%, despite not being a billionaire or millionaire, surely we can do 10%?

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Critiques

Critiques

Published June 18, 2021

Author Dale Carnegie of the bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People says “Criticize in private, but praise in public.” We saw this nearly a year ago here.

It might seem like obvious advice, but do not be fooled by its simplicity. Just recently, I was part of a call, which had one senior person pulling up several others for something not done by them. The big boss of many of those being picked on was also present on the call.

To be sure, the person pointing the finger was by no means wrong – he had his facts straight – the accused had been tardy, they had not done their work well, they had not informed their superiors about gaps in the information and so on.

But did any of that matter? Not one bit. The call quickly morphed into a verbal brawl, with people supporting themselves, and proving why they were right and then heaping accusations back and forth. Could have just had some nice popcorn on the side and …

But really, it is so hard to put this advice into practise I suppose. It might seem like it takes longer to have 1-on-1 calls with five people rather than just lambaste 5 people on one call. But the negative effects of that one badly organized call can be far worse, as was the case. Preferably, never criticize at all, but if it must be done, then it can be done with empathy, in private, with examples from one’s own life as well, and also leading by example. That would be true leadership.

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Quattro-manageria

Quattro-manageria

Published June 17, 2021

According to Harvard Business Review, there are 4 types of Managers. These are Teacher, Cheerleader, Always-on and Connector.

Without knowing anything about these except their names, I’d have thought either the cheerleader or the teacher would be the best. Why? Because the cheerleader manager probably cheers you on, encourages you and appreciates your work. Great way to be motivated and move ahead don’t you think? While the teacher manager might be there to teach you whatever you need to know, and help in your learning process.

The definition of an always-on manager is one who available at any time for questions, feedback or even to just listen. But apparently it’s the connector manager who is the best of all the four.

The connector manager helps by making the most of his/her network – whether with another team member, partner, customer, friend etc. in order to expand the spectrum of teachers you have at your disposal. This is because such a manager realizes it’s impossible for one person to know everything.

The outcome? Apparently connector managers build the strongest, most effective teams, tripling the likelihood that direct reports will be high performers and boost employee engagement by 40%. Pretty impressive!

My takeaway is to try and live the life of a connector-manager for the benefit of everyone around me – irrespective of whether I manage a team at work or not. What do you think? How will you implement this? All suggestions welcome.

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Bubble territory

Bubble territory

Published June 16, 2021

The financial markets have gone crazy, is the view that many people share today. Excesses of all kinds have made their way to the fore. Bubbles and manias are in the pink-paper headlines often.

The base is always strong. It’s what piles up, that can be…way off. Say a company worth $100, has a 100 shares each worth 1$, and 99 of these do not trade. But that 1 remaining share that does trade, has now found a new buyer. That buyer is willing to pay 50$, for just that one share. You know the new value of the company now? Even though only that 1 new share was traded at $50, all the 100 shares are now implied to be worth $50 as well. This makes the value of the entire company = $50 x 100 shares = $5,000! All because of one trade. The same is true on the downside too. If just the one share was exchanged at $0.5, the company would be valued at $0.5 x 100 shares = $50. This is how extremes get created in the market. A few crazy trades, and suddenly the tide of sentiment has seen a tectonic shift.

It’s not too different with human beings. We too have a solid base. But we let the most recent events – like someone shouting at us, or not believing us, or our inability to clear an exam or such – to define our whole lives. These stray incidents should be seen exactly as that – one-offs. But we extrapolate this to our entire existence, and go into insane levels of depression and anxiety. The opposite is true as well, as we may extrapolate some recent success and take it to the moon, with no ego in check.

We are a sum total of all our life experiences, not just the ones we came across today or yesterday. This is good to keep in mind, so that our moods are always cheerful, and balanced.

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Need more prep

Need more prep

Published June 15, 2021

Generally when we invite a guest speaker over to the youth satsangs, we just share the topic and the date/time and then they are good to go.

A recent speaker we invited though, wanted to know a lot more of the details. How many attendees? What age group? What topics were already covered? What is the agenda? What is the exact sequence of the agenda? Many more questions…and then he also asked for past recordings of the sessions!

It immediately reminded me of an incident with Swami Chinmayananda. Once Swami ji’s flight got delayed by a few hours. His disciples there quickly gathered around him and requested him to give a talk. You know what Swami Chinmayananda said? He said, “I’m sorry, but I’m not prepared, and so I cannot give a talk now.”

He said he was not prepared! Can you believe it? The great Swami Chinmayananda, who has given thousands if not tens of thousands of talks – was saying that he was not prepared!

This is a shining example of his humility, preparedness, diligence and respect for the audience – especially in today’s world, where for most people, once they open their mouth, it’s impossible to shut them up. And their speech is often neither relevant, beneficial or even true!

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Spirituality doubts

Spirituality doubts

Published June 14, 2021

Here are two simple questions (and answers of course) that can sometimes occur to anyone on the spiritual path.

  1. On the one hand, I’m expected to be spiritual, attain liberation etc. On the other, I’m expected to carry on my duties in my materialistic life? How can I reconcile both of these?

    As my Guru says, we are all filled with so much of rajasik guna that we cannot just relinquish everything, don ochre robes and sit in meditation forever. Instead, we are so much in love with the world around us (maya though it may be) that we leave ourselves no choice but to play in it. The way out (as Krishna told Arjuna as well) is to channelize that rajas in the use of greater good, maximum benefit for maximum people. This will break the cycle of selfish desires and actions, and eventually convert rajasik to sattvik. To summarize, doing one’s duty in life selflessly, will lead to spiritual evolution.
  2. The world is fleeting. Can I really make any changes to it? I’m anyway going to die. How does it matter?

    It is very easy to be fatalistic. But all our scriptures caution against exactly this. Just like a honeybee is not wired to roar like a lion, we too are not wired to be in this world without acting or doing something, i.e. we are not 100% sattvik and meditative by nature. Since we any way have to act in the world, why not do a good job of it, helping the greatest number of people? Certainly possible.
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Bed on it

Bed on it

Published June 13, 2021

There are some that don’t get sleep until their bodies hit the plush pillows and comfy quilts of a 5-star hotel.

But some have to make do with 3-star hotel arrangements.

Some sleep under the moonlight, on bamboo cots, maybe with mosquito nets.

Many sleep on the floor in their homes, on just a thin bedsheet.

Those in poverty, sleep under flyovers, with no one to care for them.

Some share beds with two others, oxygen cylinders supplementing their breathing efforts.

Some don’t get ICU beds, despite the criticality.

If we just have a bed at home to sleep peacefully – how unbelievable lucky are we?

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Score backwards

Score backwards

Published June 12, 2021

Think of everything you already have in your life. EVERYTHING.

What would you value it at?

Of course you’ve read this blog and many scriptures and the like, so the answer would be 100… out of 10. Well done!

Now think of everything you don’t have, but want.

That promotion, that net worth, that designation, that house, that car, that international vacation, that recognition from others…

What would you value it at? 1,000? 10,000? Maybe more? Isn’t that what we spend our entire days and nights working towards / stressing for?

So everything we have is 100, and everything we want is 10,000. Surely we’ve got this backwards? Why else would anything we obtain incrementally, not add to lasting happiness? Why are we still unhappy? To be pondered over…

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Art of Connecting

Art of Connecting

Published June 11, 2021

Just finished reading an interesting book by Susan McGregor called The Lost Art of Connecting. Indeed this is something most people are struggling with today. Not just because we live in a locked-down world, or an online-over-offline world, but also because we’ve become more and more self-obsessed. So much so that we rarely seek the need to go out and connect with people. Even at the dinner table, most family members connect only with their screens.

Susan’s premise is simple, and similar to what my Guru says about where success comes from. “It is the increased ability to deal with people, and studies have shown that 85% of success can be attributed to this ability, with only the balance 15% being technical education.”

The author suggests that every meeting or discussion with the other person, no matter how important to you, must always be approached with one and only one question in mind – “How can I be of help to that person?” Sounds counterintuitive at first. She says that if this question is answered, it will cement the relationship – because now even though you came in to the meeting for your own business requirement, you now leave with a valuable connection – one that transcends something simply transactional and ephemeral.

No doubt, it will take effort to answer this question – we cant just blaze into any meeting and say “Hey CEO, how can I help you” because we may not have much to help them with in the first place. So this will require thought, leaning on other connections, understanding what the other person really needs/wants etc. Listening is unbelievably important of course – and key to figuring out what others want. Good book, and certainly a refreshing way to think about conversations and relationships!

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Karmic knowledge – part 4

Karmic knowledge – part 4

Published June 10, 2021

We’ve been discussing karma for a few days now. But given this is such a complex topic, it is worth exploring a bit more. Here’s another interesting example from the Sadhguru book on Karma I mentioned yesterday.

He talks of 5 related examples. In four of them, person A has a knife, and it results in the death of person B. Either the knife hit person B by mistake, or was struck in the heat of the moment, or was a well orchestrated murder and so on. Sadhguru says the karma of person A (knife-wielder) from each of these acts is totally different, even though the end result (death of person B) is the same.

The 5th example he gives does not even involve the killing of person B, but simply the detailed and repeated plotting of person B’s death. According to Sadhguru, the karma accrued in option 5 is far worse than any of the other options. Why? Because he says that it is not the act alone that causes karma, but the level of bitterness and hatred (that person A harbours in his mind), and the fact that the plotting is repeated a million times over. He summarizes by saying that the worst karma is accrued when someone combines negative thought + negative emotion + negative mental action.

What to do then? Simple – always have positive thoughts, and get rid of negative thoughts. And have positive thoughts that are all-inclusive, and not just focused on the three people we love the most (I, me, myself). This way you we not ‘identify’ with our actions – meaning that they are not just self-serving. He concludes decisively, “If your identification were all-inclusive, that would be the end of the karmic cycle.”

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Karmic knowledge – part 3

Karmic knowledge – part 3

Published June 9, 2021

What then of astrology, free will, destiny etc? Yes, these all exist, and do work – yes even astrology. But it is our own choice whether we wish to be bound by our karma or not.

Even the best of astrologers can only give you an outline of what you are likely to experience in your life at different points. This is a probabilistic science. It is also based on a chart that is drawn up when you are born, based on the place, time and date of birth. It is not re-drawn every day. Since birth, haven’t we each made so many different wide-ranging choices of our free will? Every single day, just the act of getting out of bed is one of free will!

There are indeed some long-standing tendencies / innate habits that have become so entrenched into our lives that we rarely change course. Any one can predict your reactions in such situations – no need for an astrologer, just as your close family members!

Here’s how Sadhguru of Isha puts it in his new book called Karma. “So karma is not some external system of crime and punishment. It is an internal cycle generated by you. These patterns are not oppressing you from without, but from within. Externally, it may be a new day. You may have a new job, a new home, a new life partner, a new baby. You may even be in a new country. But, internally, you are experiencing the same cycles—the same internal oscillations, the same behavioral shifts, the same mental reactions, the same psychological tendencies.”

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Karmic knowledge – part 2

Karmic knowledge – part 2

Published June 8, 2021

Continuing on from yesterday’s post on Karma – yes if we intend to harm someone, then we get bad karma. Conversely, if our intention is good, then we earn good karma. But what if we don’t intend anything? i.e. our action is unintentional, but has resulted in the other person taking it negatively.

One can only surmise, but here’s a thought experiment. Imagine you are a school teacher. Your intention is to ensure your students learn the most and become the best possible citizens. But let’s say the students have a different goal. They don’t want to study, or even attend class. No matter your good intention, they still harbour irritation and hatred for you. But your intention is still good – so you should ideally get only good karma?

If we step on an ant unknowingly, then will we accumulate bad karma? From the ant’s point of view, it has been a massive wrong-doing. From our point of view, we didn’t do anything at all – except take a step forward! Perhaps if we’d tortured the ant to death, then…

Does this also come back to choices and consequences? If you bite your tongue while eating, there is immediate pain – no matter the biting was unintentional or not. So the consequence of the action exists. But whether one incurs sin or not, is a different matter. The best saints are always mindful of their every action – living never for themselves, but always for all living beings around them. With selfish action and selfish intention out of the way, the spiritual path thus becomes clearer. More tomorrow…

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Karmic knowledge

Karmic knowledge

Published June 7, 2021

How exactly does karma work? We know the usual quotes about ‘an eye for an eye’, or ‘action = reaction’ and all that as it relates to our karma. But when we observe the world around us, it rarely seems as though those who deserve something (either good or bad) actually get it.

So what exactly is the formula? How does karma work? Is there really a Chitragupta, sitting with his book and pen recording every single action done by every single creature? Seems unlikely. I’ve been trying to find a book that can explain the exact process. Most books and Gurus wholly accept karmic law – and I do too, it makes sense intuitively. But what are the mechanics behind it? I don’t know.

However, there is one interesting book called The Science of Karma by Dr. Niruben Amin, who has catalogued her Guru Dadashri ji’s teachings. Here are a few of the things mentioned in it:

  1. Karma is not about action – but about intent. I might donate money, but if I’m doing it just to curry favour with someone else, rather than to help the needy, then this is bad karma, not good. Actions are only after-effects.
  2. For bad karma we have just created, we can immediately erase it, simply by begging for forgiveness (and never repeating the act) from whichever God one believes in. This is not a carte-blanche for reckless behaviour, but for genuine repentance.
  3. The intention of giving happiness to others binds good karma, while the intention of hurting others binds bad karma.
  4. Good karma is a shackle made of gold, while bad karma is made of iron. But both are shackles, and prevent liberation.
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Always on

Always on

Published June 6, 2021

Nowadays with work-from-home it feels like work never ends. No matter how early I start, the day always ends late. And no matter how much I try to squeeze in and make my day productive, the speed at which things get added to the to-do list is always greater than the speed at which things get struck off it.

What to do then?

It helps to think of two things.

  1. At the time of World War 2, the British government came up with a motivational poster / slogan which said “Keep Calm and Carry on”. In my day too, all I need to do is reflect on history. So many such days have passed where I thought I either wouldn’t be able to handle it, or that the world would end if I didn’t get my work done on time (because of lack of time ironically!). Neither has happened – to me, or to you.
  2. “Just do it” from Nike. Iconic. We all know it. Here’s what it means – Forget about the result or the assumptions of your boss’ feedback or anything else. Focus on the work alone, and just do it.

That’s it – two points for mental freedom. We just need to keep GUDUSUNGU-ing, and the rest will fall into place. As they say, overnight success comes after years of hard work and practice.

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Deconstruction

Deconstruction

Published June 5, 2021

We hear the labourers chattering all day. The flyover near our house. It is getting constructed. It has been like this for two years now.

The daily noise – massive thuds, drilling machines ramming deep into the earth, the sounds of cranes and bulldozers, not to mention – the bright lights and sirens that flash even at 2 am. No matter the day – whether we have an important client call, or a Sunday morning off, or wish to sneak in a meditation session – the din sometimes is unbearable, chaotic and equally unloved by one and all.

But flip this over. These are men and women on a mission. Not to just construct a bridge, but to also construct their lives. Or rather to prevent it from deconstruction. How much can these daily wagers really earn? Hardly enough to make ends meet. And they need to send money back to their families in their villages too?

While we sleep in double glassed sound-proofed air-conditioned high-rises, these folks melt in the sun, puff in the dust, and sleep huddled in reprehensible accommodations. We can only think “When will this bridge get completed, so that my travel time in my luxury car can get cut in half.” They on the other hand, may never get a chance to use this bridge, or maybe only in an overcrowded bus in the sweltering heat. Soon after they are done here, they will be transported to yet another construction site, nearby, far away, who knows. It is always one day at a time.

Why could we not have been born into their place? We very well could have. We just got really lucky. Let us begin our day with gratitude for this fact.

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Giving like this

Giving like this

Published June 4, 2021

It is one thing to talk about selflessness and empathy and caring for others etc. While it is something else altogether to put this into practice, especially with irredeemable consequences.

85 year old Narayanrao Dabhadkar was immortalized in the last week of April 2021. Having experienced complications from COVID, his family took him to a nearby hospital. As is perhaps well known, oxygen, beds, remdesevir and other important treatment necessities have been in very short supply in India.

The family of this 85-year old man somehow got an ICU bed after running from pillar to post. But while waiting there, Mr. Narayanrao saw out the window and noted a young lady and her kids wailing and begging the hospital authorities to admit her 40-year old husband who was also infected by COVID and in a very bad state. Narayanrao immediately decided to relinquish his bed, and offered it to the lady. His thought process was, “I have lived a wonderful life to 85, now let the younger ones live.” He went home, no bed, minimal treatment, and passed away a few days later.

Many times we think twice about giving up an object that belongs to us. We don’t want to part with or share our living space, money, food, vehicles, books, cutlery, time and so many other things. This man parted with his life. If there is something to learn about selflessness, compassion and empathy, this is the real-life story that teaches it to me. May he rest in peace.

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Don’t take it personally

Don’t take it personally

Published June 3, 2021

One of the mental models that helps me a lot is to classify people into one of 3 buckets:

  1. Giver: The selfless one, always giving
  2. Taker: The selfish one, always taking
  3. Matcher: The middle one, bringing giver and taker together

This might seem simplistic. But look around us, and we will find that people invariably fall into one of these 3 types.

The crazy boss who is happy no matter what we do? Working on Friday night isn’t enough, neither is working on Saturday, or even Sunday. And at the end of it all? “So what, this is your job, you’re expected to pull these hours!” That’s a ‘taker’ for you right there! Givers on the other hand, are awesome to work with. They’ve always got your back. And always want to encourage your growth.

This model is not about categorising other people out of spite. Rather, it is to be able to objectively look at the people and situations we find ourselves with. Plainly put, a taker is likely to remain a taker for life. It’s a deeply integrated part of their personality and psyche. Trying to change that, makes no sense. If we are forced to be with such a person, we can mentally reassure ourselves, that this ‘taker’ is not showing some personal hatred against you. Rather, that’s just the kind of person s/he is. On the flip side, we can seek out more givers and matchers than takers – if we have the freedom and flexibility to!

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Lockdown

Lockdown

Published June 2, 2021

“Isolation” and “Quarantine” and “Lockdown”. Three words that have suddenly become commonplace, all thanks to the Covid situation. Most people everywhere seem to be cribbing big time. “I’m so sick of staying at home. Just can’t wait for things to open up. I hate this lockdown business. Can’t even go anywhere. I really miss my vacations and international trips.”

But a change in mindset is necessary. An entitled person may think sitting at home unable to travel for pleasure is bad. But how about those people who are isolated in hospital wards, separated from their loved ones, stuck on a hospital bed amongst hundreds of others, breathing into tubes attached to cylinders, with no indication of when their ordeal would end. Isn’t that infinitely worse? And then there are those that desperately need hospitals / ICUs / beds but these are all full. What of them?

As an Indian army jawan noted on his Linkedin post – “Don’t be scared of isolation. My longest spell was on Siachen glacier, lasting 138 days, with 98 days of intense firing. All 19 of us survived 100s of kilos of TNT. I lost 19 kilos of weight, and took bath after 138 days. The minimum temperature was -50-degrees Celcius.”

What are the rest of us cribbing about? We must be deeply cognizant that anyone stepping out for any reason could be the cause for someone else falling sick or losing a loved one. It is our duty to stay indoors and safe, until all this bad news passes.

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Train for this

Train for this

Published June 1, 2021

There’s a CCTV video recording that you must watch. It’s hardly 30 seconds long.

It shows one of Mumbai’s railway stations. A blind woman and her young son are walking on the platform next to the train tracks. The boy unfortunately falls onto the tracks, and the blind mother is seen to be screaming for help. A train can be seen approaching from the other side.

Mayur Shelkhe, a pointsman at the railway station, comes running at a pace that would make Usain Bolt proud. He reaches the boy, picks him up, shoves him back onto the platform, and then climbs back to safety, with just milliseconds to spare. A moment late, and this would be end-of-story not just for the child, but for him also. I don’t know which quality was more pronounced – his presence of mind, or his selflessness?

Watching the video is like watching a thriller movie – except that this was real life. What I found more thrilling though, was this. Mayur was awarded INR 50,000 (~670 US$) for his bravery. While it is a very small amount to start with, he still proceeded to donate a substantial portion of this amount to the blind lady and her son, in order that she use it for the child’s education.

How awesome is that? So much for me to learn from. A true hero he is, if there was ever one. Here’s the Video link.

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