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Tag: mind control

A tale of two-is-one – part 2

A tale of two-is-one – part 2

Published May 8, 2021

You have been practising meditation for a very long time. Many years in fact.

A guest in your house, one day sees you meditating. He comes up to you and says your posture is not right. Fold your palms this way, touch your fingers like this, and face this specific direction. How does he know you ask? He read it in a book.

You get irritated. And rightly so. Years of live meditation, versus reading from a book – really? Who does he think he is? You decide to give him a piece of your mind.

But you also think about it a bit more. “What am I doing all this meditating for? To control my mind, and my tongue, isn’t it?”

You mull over the learnings here. “The spiritual aspirant always has to face two sides of the coin. One, as a person making the suggestion, I do not know anything about the spiritual level reached by others. So telling anyone to do anything differently or to change their routine is not my place. And two, as the recipient of unsolicited advice, I can only control my reactions and responses. This way I gain mastery over my mind and tongue, and also ensure I do not hurt the other person.”

We can surely listen to advice, and even test it out, but if it is unsuitable, we can choose to ignore it. Why get angry, and mess up the rest of our day?

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Small to great

Small to great

Published April 23, 2021

We discussed recently how Yudhishthira and Duryodhana went around the kingdom to find good people, and how the latter couldn’t find even one good person, while the former found goodness in everyone.

Do we too become like Duryodhana sometimes?

If we do a self-audit, would we find ourselves cribbing a lot about others, gossiping, talking behind people’s backs, complaining about the company we work for and the bosses, putting down others who got promotions (especially if they didn’t seem to deserve it!) and so on? Oh and not to forget much of the bashing has actually moved online these days – with social media becoming nothing short of the Kurukshetra battlefield (no matter the topic, there will be enough armchair experts to give you a rough time). It’s fine – these are normal, and we are human, so it is bound to happen.

The real problem with such discussions and thoughts though, is that constantly talking about other people’s negative qualities will subconsciously cause us to also become more negative. We not only talk bad about others, but this mindset also pulls us into a deeply self-critical mode. We eventually begin to question our own looks (lack of hair, long nose etc.), our talents, our abilities and capabilities as well simply because that negativity has seeped right in. Having a positive view of things, and celebrating even small joys and victories each and every day is much better than being morose and picking out the losses, even if they outnumber the daily wins 10 to 1. So it all boils down to keeping the mind focused on the good.

As a former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas.”

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La casa de la mente

La casa de la mente

Published July 18, 2020

This weekend, my wife and I started watching Netflix’s amazing and highly acclaimed Spanish language TV show titled La Casa de Papel (aka Money Heist, with subtitles). No spoilers here, don’t worry!

Like in any robbery / hostage drama, a negotiator is always a key character. And if there is one dependable weapon a negotiator needs, it is a calm mind.

We are all negotiators in some sense, in our day to day lives. Things often do not go according to plan. And while we can cry and bawl about all of life’s quandaries, we cannot change external circumstances. The victor is one who has brought her/his mind under control, irrespective of the outside world.

This is no doubt easier said than done. But it is also not acquired solely by divine endowment either. There are 3 specific steps which will help control the mind (i.e. mente).

  1. Practise meditating everyday. Intentionally, purposefully. Setting time aside for it.
  2. Right Living. Including moderation in food intake, exercise and sleeping.
  3. Staying alert. This is to ensure continuity of 1 and 2. It is easy to fall off the path. Doing a spiritual audit, or being in a self-help group or ‘satsanga’ helps.

The end result? Mente tranquila!

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The waverer

The waverer

Published June 13, 2020

‘Sama’, an ancient word in the language called Sanskrit, refers to equal, match or plain. It is also very close to the English word ‘same’.

Hindu scriptures often talk of mind control through ‘sama’. Such as remaining mentally balanced or ‘sama’ – in the face of both success and failure. Both pleasure or pain. Both richness or poverty. And so on, for other such pairs of opposites.

Surely this is easier said than done.

Experience tells us that we prefer happiness to sorrow. ‘Good’ events, like having a shiny new car or a good bonus, make us happy. And we want more of these things. Whereas ‘bad’ events, like being stuck with a rickety old excuse for a car, or a so-close-but-i-missed-it promotion, leave us dejected.

But can we say with 100% conviction that what makes us happy momentarily, is what we seek in permanence? Because that shiny new car might be vandalised as it stands out among other older cars in the neighbourhood. Or that missed promotion might make one frustrated enough to quit their job and find their life’s calling in a unicorn- startup.

There is no such thing as good or bad. It is just our mind telling us so, based on its own assessment at that particular point in time. We all know how volatile our minds can be – feeling one way now, and completely opposite a few seconds later.

Why then do we leave the choice of being happy or joyful to such a wavering mind?

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