When we discuss Dale Carnegie’s (DC) amazing book How to Win Friends & Influence People in satsang, participants often ask certain types of questions. Maybe we can call these questions as extremities. Here are some examples:
- DC says we need to listen to the other person. But what if the other person keeps on talking and I don’t get to talk at all?
- DC says think from the other person’s point of view. But what if the other person doesn’t think from mine?
- DC says we need to smile as often as possible. But others aren’t smiling.
- DC says develop a genuine interest in the other person. But when do I then get to talk about my interests?
These are all valid concerns. However, our objective must be clearly understood. As the title on the book’s cover page states, this book is useful if you want to win the other person over, befriend them and / or influence them.
If this is the clear focus and objective, then we need to think: Does it matter whether I get to talk or not, or that the other person doesn’t smile or not, or that they don’t see the world from my point of view? Ideally, no!
This is DC’s decades and countless experiences’ worth of rare wisdom neatly encapsulated into a 200 page book. The real question we must be asking ourselves is – how better can I apply the learnings of this magical book to my life?