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Pipe dream

Here are some wonderful takeaways from a recent youth satsang session I had the good fortune and pleasure of attending. The topic of discussion was Dale Carnegie’s excellent book How to Win Friends & Influence People:

  1. You can disagree in specific instances, but no need to become a disagreeable person.
  2. If your child is not eating, or making a fuss, don’t cajole him. Instead make him want to come to the table. Give him a “special seat”.
  3. Begin with the other person in mind. Real-life example that was shared: If the tenants want the landlord to take care of a major plumbing problem, don’t just begin by complaining to the landlord. The way that worked was to have the landlord and his wife over for a nice homecooked meal, a lot of genuine compliments about the house included, and a mention of the plumbing issue tossed in at the end. Needless to say, the problem was fixed – quickly and for free.
  4. It is possible to change the other person’s behaviour, by changing one’s own behaviour towards them first.
  5. Integrated thinking – build the patience to hold and analyse two conflicting ideas in your head at the same time. If this can be done, the solution is often a 3rd way, which is even better than the first two ideas.

    Quite good no?

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