Here are some questions, both relating to the same fact. Which one is true in your view?
1. “Why is my manager so damn demanding?” versus “Why am I not courageous enough to express myself and my boundaries?”
2. “Why is my peer / colleague not trustworthy?” versus “Why am I not being collaborative enough?”
3. “Why is my friend / family member not driven enough?” versus “Why have I not been able to inspire my friends and family?”
4. “Why do my children not listen to me anymore?” versus “Why am I unable to understand my children’s needs anymore?”
Two sets of questions, with the target (aka blame) of one being external, while the other probes the self!