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Tag: happiness

Best for worst swap

Published April 10, 2024

Would you trade your best day for someone else’s worst? Seems like such a stupid question isn’t it. Of course you wouldn’t. And it would be senseless to expect anyone else too either, right?

Picture this.

Here are your worst days. Followed by someone else’s best days. [But they will trade their best days for your worst!]

  1. When you made a bonus of only 100 in a year. The other person added 1 to bring their net worth to 10.
  2. When you didn’t get the promotion you thought you deserved. The other person got a clerk job 3 years after being laid off with no work.
  3. When you couldn’t travel to the country of your dreams for vacation. The other person got a chance to visit her family back home after 3 consecutive years of work as a maid in a foreign land.

When someone is willing to take our worst days and give us their best, what does that say about one’s attitude to life?!

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Happiest day of my life

Happiest day of my life

Published April 9, 2024

Sometimes I wonder if there aren’t already too many self help and self development books in the world. Hundreds if not thousands. And so many are bestsellers. Amazon is full of them. Many 5-star rated ones too.

All of these push and propel the readers towards hitherto unprecedented economic success.

“Happiest day of my life. I finally bought a Toyota Innova Crysta.”

This was what popped up on my Twitter feed, with the picture of a middle-aged man and his wife, standing next to a brown Toyota, holding on to an enlarged key, beaten in length only by the smile on his face.

Surely he cannot think that his happiness is linked to the car? We know this to be spirituality 101. But our man has probably not read any of the self development books. So he is forgiven.

But what about me? While I’m just a lurker in Twitter shadowland, in my mind, I’m getting super excited and super depressed, alternately, all day long. Some good news – wow super happy, some bad news, wow super sad.

As the wise ancients say, it is important to control one’s reactions in happiness, so that one can control one’s reaction in pain.

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Rural elite

Rural elite

Published March 21, 2022

So I met a nice guy recently, who owned a sizable plot of land.

It was an ancestral handover to him, so yes, free.

He had 3 cows, 6 dogs, 2 pigs, 4 hens, and a few other animals.

“I’m an animal lover!”, he exclaimed to me.

There was a lot of greenery on his farm, and he was growing a few vegetables at least. And he said he would sit a couple of hours daily, just taking in all the fresh cool unpolluted air.

All this seemed surreal, until he said that he was unhappy. That he wanted to move to the city, “for more opportunities”.

Here’s a fellow living my dream life, and I want to be where he’s at. But he wants to be where I’m at. Oh the irony.

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Two arrows

Two arrows

Published January 27, 2022

We’ve probably heard the phrase, “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”

The Buddha teaches this in another way as well, with the concept of the two arrows.

Any time we go through a rough patch, or a bad event occurs, it is like being hit with one arrow. That’s bad right?

Now imagine you yourself pickup the bow, and shoot another arrow, at yourself. That’s even worse, and that’s the second arrow.

The first arrow touches our skin, or body, physically in some way perhaps. Maybe we didn’t get the reward we thought we deserved, and so a pain in the neck, some tears, some lightness of the head etc. Okay gone. But then, if we continue to cogitate on this, we allow the second arrow to pierce much deeper – right into the mind and the heart.

Which is to say, that at any given point, even if things aren’t as messed up as we think, we prefer to tell ourselves that it is really really really messed up.

Best way out? Use the second arrow as a learning experience. Find a way to ascribe some meaning to the pain. And then we’ll realize that it wasn’t pain in the first place, but an opportunity in disguise.

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Thinking about thinking – part 2 of 2

Thinking about thinking – part 2 of 2

Published January 24, 2022

Now that we understand no one really is thinking about us, how can we use this to improve our lives? Easy. By ‘letting go’. By being sincere, but not serious. By taking things with a smile, but not lightly. Read this:

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.

—Lao Tzu

Isn’t this just phenomenal advice? For instance, we might feel tensed and anxious before an important meeting. We are already well prepared and know the outcome. But still, there are those butterflies – “what if it doesn’t go well?” And once the meeting is over? Almost instantly we feel better, no matter the outcome.

That’s why letting go is so important. Letting go of our need to be perfect in everything – looks, speech, writing, presentation, cooking, and everything else.

But letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. Letting go only means “okay if it happens, and okay if it doesn’t”. Once we ‘let go’, we stop focusing on the future, and how others may or may not perceive us (and we know most people don’t have the time to care!). Instead, we begin to enjoy and live in the present.

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Can we give up desires?

Can we give up desires?

Published January 9, 2022

A tough aspect of spirituality is not in reading what is said, but in actually understanding and implementing it.

For instance, Lord Krishna in the Gita often asks Arjuna to give up desires.

Is this practical? If I give up all my desires, I wouldn’t even be able to get up from my bed on a Sunday, let alone on a Monday morning!

Maybe there is something deeper and subtler. This is my Guru’s amazing interpretation.

When Krishna says ‘give up desires’, he actually means ‘give up the cravings in your mind’. Having dharmic desires is fine, but it is critical to cut the umbilical cord between desire and happiness.

Our happiness is always linked to the fulfilment of desires. “Think of a time when you were happy” tends to be accomplishments like “when I won the game, or topped the class, or got married, or had kids, or got promoted”.

But what if everything we did, could start from happiness, rather than end in it? This is possible, and it (too) starts with gratitude.

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Drive thru

Drive thru

Published November 28, 2021

A study recently found that the most stressful city in the world for driving is… you guessed it or maybe not… Mumbai!

Given that I’ve been living and driving here for years, I can only agree, somewhat. Only ‘somewhat’, because Mumbai is very stressful to drive in, but all of India can be really stressful to drive in too.

There’s just so many people, everyone as if waiting to just jump in front of your vehicle when you least expect it. There is also massive congestion, unexpected bovinity in the middle of highways, zero wiggle room, no rules, no lane discipline, no lanes, no signals and in general a lot of peril.

However, there are two things in my humble observation that keeps all this driving insanity remarkably orderly.

  1. Go slow (no scope for autobahn here!)
  2. But keep moving.

Going slow means you get to stop when required and not worry about hitting someone who unexpectedly shows up. By keeping on moving, you ensure that you get to where you want, slowly but surely.

In this hyper-fast age of advancement and spectacular wins and stress and everyone rubbing their own successes in everyone else’s faces, following these two maxims for life in general, could be really really rewarding.

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Running for what?

Running for what?

Published November 22, 2021

A podcast I was listening to recently had Allyson Felix as the guest of honour. I had not heard of her before, but she came across as a really nice human being. And that is not to say she’s not famous – she’s the most decorated US track athlete in Olympic history, having won 11 medals – breaking Carl Lewis’ record of 10.

What really struck me was how she found her passion. Most Olympians and sportspersons we meet seem to be born into their sport. Of course there will be a few exceptions (like Allyson), but by and large, it would appear like these exceptionally talented people found their calling very early on, like in their early school days.

And this is something many of us struggle with on a daily basis. We see start-up founders make hundreds of millions, while we feel aimless and lost. We see people who’ve found their calling, while all we seem to end up with are calls from spammers. How to find this passion then? Should we give up?

Here’s what Allyson said that I really liked. She said that most of her peers who found their passions early on, became such hardcore specialists (in a specific sport or activity), that by the time they turned 30, they were already burned out. Whereas in her own experience as a 35 year old medallist, she only entered her sport well into college! Till then, she was just enjoying other sports like basketball that she really liked, but was nowhere near good as in running. I think this is a great lesson for me – no need to struggle to find a passion and get burned out or stay dejected. Instead just enjoy the work I am doing, and live in the now, today, forever happy.

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The happiest animal

The happiest animal

Published November 15, 2021

In the much acclaimed TV show called Ted Lasso, there’s an amazing scene. Nay there are many many amazing scenes, and dialogues.

In one, a soccer player falls to the ground, is tackled and beaten, and then booed by the rest of the players. Clearly something isn’t right. The player on the ground is dejected. Coach Ted calls him to the side line, and asks him, “Do you know what the happiest animal in the world is?”

“What?!”, exclaims the player in disbelief, little expecting such trivia when there’s so much going on in his head already.

“A goldfish”, comes the answer from coach Ted, “Because it only has a 10 second memory. Be a goldfish.”

Had a bad day today? No problem, be a goldfish.
Had a good day today? Also no problem, be a goldfish.

Only then can we live in the moment.

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Delightful

Delightful

Published November 8, 2021

Have you come across people who are always happy no matter what? Like if you just see them, you feel like smiling too?

Yes, I know, hardly anyone like that nowadays. Not all the time anyway.

One guy though is always happy. His name in fact has happiness inbuilt – one Mr. Ross Gay.

He did something called a Delight project, which was his own idea.

He made it his life’s objective to look for and document, daily moments of delight. He later wrote a book chronicling his experiences called The Book of Delights. You hear him on a podcast like I did here, you’ll immediately see how happy and delighted he sounds!

So where does delight come from? You go looking for it, and it appears in the most mundane of areas. Like our bodies functioning normally; seeing those around us happy; participating in social activities; spending time with loved ones; playing with pets, or babies; just breathing-in the cool morning air; feeling the breeze on our faces… and you get the drift.

It could be anything. One thing for each day. Just soaking in the delight. Feeling it for every single second of that experience. Feeling alive. And feeling deep amounts of gratitude, for even just having the ability to feel that delight. Wow!

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Inheritense

Inheritense

Published November 6, 2021

Had a client meeting recently after ages. It was an in-person meeting, at a café. And my word was the café full! Absolutely jam packed, teeming with people. Open air, yes, but still, hard to believe that just a few months ago, people were scared to so much as just get out of their homes, for fear of an invisible killer. Such is human memory. So short, not necessarily so sweet.

Another thing that we don’t remember too well? The price paid for luxury. The price paid for money. “For”, not “with”.

My client had this to say. He has 2 brothers. And his dad died some time back. Did the 3 brothers get an inheritance? Not even a dollar. Instead, it was the other way around. He had left some overdrafts and other dues which the 3 men only discovered after the man’s passing. They got together and paid off the balances.

Here’s my client’s thoughts after he recounted this. “I’m really thankful that my dad did not leave us any inheritance. Because if he did, then we brothers would have squabbled over who gets what. And no matter how fairly we tried to divide it, we’d still have ended up unhappy, and this would have broken the family. I’ve seen this in the case of so many families it’s not funny. I’m really glad we got nothing, because having money is a curse.”

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Fleeting

Fleeting

Published October 31, 2021

Here’s a Chinese proverb I came across:

1. If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap.
2. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing.
3. If you want happiness for a month, get married.
4. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune.
5. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody else. 

All of these are true. Point 3 is funny even. And these must be taken in the right spirit. It is not about the activities, but rather about the fleeting nature of happiness. This has even been studied by scientists, including the various chemicals released by the brain (endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin etc.).

The winner is always the last one. Point 5. Do more for others. In fact, do everything for others only. Because there is no difference deep down, from a spiritual point of view. Our scriptures say that if we do for ourselves only, we are only adding fuel to the fire which is our ego.

The challenge is, that even doing point 5 well is hard, because we look for some signs of acknowledgement from the people who have just benefitted from our help. When they don’t even say a thank you, that can get us really riled up. The real test of spiritual progress is how little such feelings impact us.

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Luck returns – part 2

Luck returns – part 2

Published October 24, 2021

Now that we know how to define luck, what can we do with it?

Said definition was pivotal in JimC’s research of companies that apparently “got lucky”. Even when we look at the most successful companies today, one might be forgiven if they jumped to such a conclusion. Oh Google? “Damn they got lucky when they started off. Imagine if they had to start today. They were first movers back then, and that makes them super lucky.” Or Microsoft. “They got so lucky to do some amazing deals in their early days, like with IBM – which completely changed their course.”

But is this true? You decide after reading their story. Back in the 1980s, IBM was looking for an Operating System (OS). They approached two companies – Digital Research, and Microsoft. The former already had an OS, the latter didn’t. But the outcome of the meetings? The meeting with DR was apparently handled in such a (bad) way that IBM preferred to work with Microsoft instead. Now what is the role of luck here? Did MS get luckier than DR? Not really. Both companies were presented with the exact same situations, or luck events, and it would appear DR actually had a leg up, given their ready OS. Yet, the outcomes were materially different.

The conclusion is this. And this applies in our personal lives too, once we accept it and open our eyes to it. Luck doesn’t matter. But ‘return on luck’ matters! MS’ return on luck was way more elevated than DR’s. What we do with the luck we get, the opportunities we get, that’s the only thing that matters. And this is true for bad luck and good luck both. In fact, the luck itself is perhaps hard to categorize as either good or bad. What we do with that opportunity, how we use that to our advantage (or not), is what would likely brand it as either good or bad. Interesting isn’t it?

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Astral planes – part 3

Astral planes – part 3

Published October 21, 2021
  1. What then, about the patal lok, narak lok, various layers of hell, lower worlds, upper worlds, 14 worlds etc.? Maybe they exist, we can never know for sure. But for sure these are all also states of mind. When something nice happens, we are quickly transported to cloud 9, while we would like nothing more than to bury ourselves deep underground if we encounter failure.
  2. Even heaven is said to have an end date. To get moksha, our scriptures tell us we need to come back to human form, so we will have to leave heaven and thus: end date.
  3. Heaven is the greatest place ever no? But then even Indra, the king of heaven, is not one person, but just a position. There are stories of millions like him who have come and gone. So is heaven really the place of all awesomeness that we are thinking of?
  4. Even in said perfect heaven, there will be jealousy and promotions and favourites no? Because not all citizens of heaven are Indra or his consort. There will be people who work for them, and those who work for them and so on. Is it logically possible for everyone in heaven to be always happy? Then is this really a heaven?
  5. My Guruji’s point is very clear. We have to go beyond all this heaven/hell/duality/dwandvas. Krishna is very clear too, that if dwandvas exists, then there is no moksha there.
  6. The very fact that heaven and hell might exist at opposite ends of the spectrum means that dwandvas exists.
  7. The ‘desire’ to get the answer to such questions on astral planes is also a form of desire only. The ‘attachment’ to this very body, and to think whether this astral body will enjoy/struggle in heave/hell, that is also attachment only. So Guruji says we need to break out of the shackles of all our desires and attachments, as this is the only way to break out of this cycle of samsara.

Your thoughts please?

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In the well

In the well

Published October 10, 2021

Many conversations today go like this.

“Hey man. All well?”
“Yes, all well. And you, all well?”
“Yes, yes, all well here too.”

Could there be a more banal way to communicate? I’m probably the guilty-est of such conversations. Even just calling these ‘conversations’ itself is doing the word a disservice. 🙂

As anyone who has mastered the art of forging deep connections will tell you, the trick lies entirely in asking the right questions, and then sitting back and listening. That’s what makes an outstanding conversationalist. The ability to ask and listen, and not the ability to speak. Counterintuitive, isn’t it?

That is indeed the true power of questions. As Dale Carnegie famously said, “Don’t try to be interesting, try to be interested instead.”

Can we perhaps substitute “All well?” with: “How are you?”, “Where are you from?” (nice and open ended!), “What are you working on these days” (everyone is working on something), “What’s changing in your life?”, or “What are you learning these days?”. So many options!

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Hair pulling

Hair pulling

Published October 9, 2021

A very chubby baby I came across recently had the cutest baby laugh. Gurgling and chirping, it was just a joy to be around. Except when it would pull its own hair. Babies, as we know, do funny things sometimes. They don’t know the exact cause of pain, and because they tend to be fairly (very) uncoordinated, pulling their own hair with one hand satisfies the requirement of the hand to grab onto something. But it also simultaneously causes immense pain.

Now what to do? The only way is for the baby to leave its own hair alone. Even it’s parents can’t do anything at that point, because the grip of the baby is too tight. But it’s a matter of time, and the baby loosens the grip on its own.

Such is also our plight often in life. By keeping gargantuan expectations, we often invite misfortune into our lives. This self-inflicted pain is no different from the baby pulling its hair. And these expectations are not just milestones in professional setups, “achieve sales of x%”, or “drive costs down by y%”, but also expectations related to when happiness should be allowed to flow. It’s almost like we have a stop button inside us. “No, today I have a lot of work, and hence I will not smile even once.” Surely I’m guilty of that many times!

Taking myself too seriously can only end badly. It’s better to be sincere, than serious. As Swami Paramarthananda says, the disciple needs to first identify that a problem exists (with themselves). The Guru thereafter, needs to not only know the remedy, but also be free of the problem!

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I swear

I swear

Published September 29, 2021

Here’s a cute scene on TV I saw recently.

A table had a small glass jar with a few coins in it. A label ‘Swear Jar’ is pasted across it. A mother is seen berating her 5 year old daughter’s use of swear words. Every time she says a bad word, the kid needs to put a dollar from her pocket money into the ‘swear jar’.

Like all kids, this one too tries to find loopholes, asking her teacher to “go to shell” and “what the muck” among other such cleverly hidden expletives.

The mother is initially irritated by this behaviour. But it dawns on her that the “swear jar” is not the right approach. If one were to create a rule such that the target person (the 5 yo) can’t even understand (because she is too young to), then of course said target would try to break the rule!

The mother then changes tactics and says something beautiful. “Baby, no more swear-jar okay? That is pointless. But I want you to understand why bad words are not okay. And that’s because bad words make other people feel bad. Now you are such a good girl – surely you don’t want other people feeling bad because of what you say do you?”

“No mommy.”

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Securing the crown – part 2

Securing the crown – part 2

Published July 8, 2021

We all speak about happiness. Because we all want it. And we’re perennially looking for it – high and low.

And it’s relative too. What does that mean? Queen Elizabeth played by a brilliant Claire Foy in The Crown shares her take on… unhappiness, not happiness.

And what a lovely line it is.

That's the thing about unhappiness. All it takes is for something worse to come along and you realize what you were experiencing was actually happiness after all.

Much like man’s search for heaven up there in the skies. When he dies here on earth and goes up, God asks him, “So, how did you like your stay on heaven?”

We already have everything, if we choose to look within. If we stubbornly look outside only, constantly comparing and recognizing apparent gaps and holes, then we will be left with nothing. Years later, maybe we will realize that that state too was actually happiness – but it may be too late to realize it.

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Metabolic reversal

Metabolic reversal

Published April 1, 2021

There are only two things we need to do to be happy.

  1. Have a fit body.
  2. Have a fit mind.

Indeed this sounds very simple. It is, but it is not easy to achieve.

A fit body requires being active throughout the day. “Oh how I wish my metabolism would be better!” Contrary to popular perception, we do not move less because of low metabolism. We move less to begin with, and that leads to low metabolism!

A fit mind on the other hand, requires lesser movement and more stability. Meditation, or the ability to focus and concentrate is key. And this comes only with practice.

How contradictory! The body needs movement, while the mind needs stability.

For many of us, given all the developments in technology and instant deliveries, our bodies are mostly resting, while our minds are mostly exercising. Just reversing that, will make our lives infinitely better.

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Reply

Reply

Published March 5, 2021

Is there a way to make someone happy and praise them while also keeping the bar high? Here’s how my Guru did it once.

Many years ago, one of the satsangis went to him for advice. The satsangi was a bit nervous, as he told Guruji that this was his first time speaking in public on the Gita, and that he was a little scared. Guruji asked him which chapter was assigned to him. He said, “Chapter 7, Guruji.”

Guruji replied thus:
1. Wow, chapter 7, such a beautiful chapter, I’m so happy you got it! [infusing happiness]
2. You know what? My first talk too was on chapter 7. It is easy, and I know your capability, you can do it. [genuine praise]
3. I also prepared hard for it – I had read the chapter over 500 times, so that my session is worth my audience’s time. [setting the bar high]

Isn’t this such an inspiring reply, and something for us to learn?

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Right arrows

Right arrows

Published February 9, 2021

The relationship we are all used to:

Hard work   ---->   Success   ---->   Happiness

The relationship suggested in our scriptures:

Gratitude   ---->   Happiness   ---->  Hard work   ---->   Success

Which of these do you feel is more sustainable? Which is easier to practise?

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Running for your life

Running for your life

Published January 14, 2021

Life is like a treadmill. We just keep running all the time. But we never get anywhere, in the ‘real’ and ‘long-term’ sense. And what if we stop? Try stopping on a treadmill that is rolling fast!

There is a concept called hedonistic adaptation. It too looks at life like a treadmill, and is in fact also called the hedonic treadmill. But not just life, but rather more the mind. That the mind is non-stop running after something or the other. Hedonistic refers to sense pleasures. ‘Adaptation‘ captures the fact that our happiness spikes when something we have been craving for is achieved or presented to us. This happy-spike though, is not permanent. It quickly begins to reduce, and soon disappears, i.e. the mind has already adapted to this new achievement/pleasure and that has suddenly become the new normal.

A key reason why this happens is because our desires are not absolute, but relative. I know a recent billionaire-club entrant, who has now started worrying about how her peers are in the multi-billions.

The ancients tell us that if we want to be happy, we just need to seek refuge in the consciousness seated deep within each of us. But that’s not what appeals to us. We don’t know to be happy, as we only seek to be happier than yesterday. That’s why despite having all the luxuries of life that even kings of yore couldn’t dream of, we are still left wanting.

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Green and brown

Green and brown

Published August 11, 2020

Since time immemorial, man has searched high and low, for the promised land, also known as heaven, paradise, swarga or elysium.

This search is no different from that suggested by the proverb “the grass seems greener elsewhere”. We are all looking for a heaven to go to, where our problems will be magically transformed into soft fragrant rose petals. But what if the grass were not green, but actually brown and dying weeds.

What if we were born in a country with no freedom, no rights and no voice? Or born in a concentration camp or a prison? What if we were age 1 and the only survivor in a plane crash that decimates an extended family of 12, all returning from an overseas vacation? What if we were age 4 and told that a rare medial condition would give us just 1 year to live? There are millions of kids with such conditions! What if we had no limbs, or had no eyesight? What if we were not born a human, but as an animal? No, not the pampered pets on Instagram – but those that have to be culled after suspected exposure to a virus?

We could have easily been any of the above, but by some quirk of fate, we are not. Is that not something to rejoice over and over? Even living beings put through the hardest and harshest of conditions, find a way to be happy. So why are we sad? Why are we constantly looking for a mythical land of magic and perfection?

We are already in heaven. We have the power to make our own heaven. Right here right now. We must open our minds and embrace it.

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Living optimally

Living optimally

Published July 30, 2020

Ask any scientist about the universe(s). S/he will tell you it is all based on the space time continuum. This term has also been made famous by sci-fi Hollywood movies.

The space-time continuum simply describes how space and time are relative and how objects that move at higher speeds experience time more slowly. That level of detail doesn’t matter much to most of us, as we are rarely going to be travelling at anything remotely close to the speed of light.

What is nice though, is that our ancients had this all figured out. They realised that our lives are impacted by these two critical aspects, i.e. time and space. They figured, that if we could optimise both time and space, then we could live our lives to our fullest potential.

How did they do this?

To optimise time, they used Jyotish (i.e. Vedic Astrology) to answer what the good and bad periods in one’s life were, which specific areas of life would be most impacted, and how one could make crucial decision using all this information.

To optimise space, they used Vaastu, i.e. the science of space, light, flow, architecture etc. to design ideal living spaces / homes.

The level of detail (available to anyone who is interested, please google!) in these sciences is unfathomable. Most people today unfortunately use these for fear mongering, as superstition or to make money unlawfully. These traditional sciences need to be revived and their benefits shared with everyone.

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Grace anatomy

Grace anatomy

Published July 16, 2020

‘Divine grace’ is often considered some kind of magical interference that will make problems go away. It is also viewed as something only a select group of people are bestowed with. But the reality is, that grace is there for everyone to tap into.

If we want to let the breeze in, we need to open the windows first.

Around 150,000 people died yesterday, and the day before, and each day before that, but not us. We are alive and well today. That is grace. Each step – one could be crushed by a falling object, swept away by a current, electrocuted by a live wire and what not. There are so many mishaps, so much uncertainty, and no idea if we will reach our destinations when we set off on our journeys. A few years ago, the local met department chief’s own daughter got stuck in the city’s rains-induced floods – so we can’t even predict the weather properly!

We only have an illusion of control of our lives – but in reality have no control at all.

Even so, we have managed to sidestep all of these disasters, for all these years. That is divine grace.

How do we open the windows? True grace, is not some materialistic miracle, but the dispelling of our ignorance. Ignorance that we are the body and the mind – which is the cause of all sorrow and suffering. The divine truth we seek is embedded deep inside each one of us. To seek it actively, to become aware of it, to be grateful to it, is a reflection of divine grace.

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In reverse

In reverse

Published July 13, 2020

Enjoy your work, then you will love your job
Enjoy your workout, then you will love your body
Enjoy your food habits, then you will love your food
Enjoy your own company, then you will love your partner
Enjoy your moments, then you will love your day
Enjoy your connection, then you will love your family and friends
Enjoy your lifestyle, then you will love your life
Enjoy your happiness, then you will love your success

But we usually have all these backwards. We do! Check again. For instance, we let our jobs decide if we will enjoy our work. Or we look at our unshapely bodies and end up despising workouts. And so on.

Thus there is no happiness.

In reality, we already have everything we need. We just need to bring the enjoyment to the here and now. It is only a mindset shift.

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Inner peace, or pieces?

Inner peace, or pieces?

Published July 11, 2020

A news item caught my eye. It was about one of my favourite Hollywood actors. He is known for some amazing gangster movies that achieved cult status. He has apparently sought to reduce alimony payments to his ex-wife from US$ 100k to US$ 50k. Per month! This is more than most earn in a year or three.

It seems the coronavirus pandemic has damaged some of his investments in the hospitality sector. His net worth is still estimated at around US$ 500m! Needless to say, there are counter-cases and allegations from the other party.

By all conventional metrics, he is super successful. But is he happy? Who knows! But would a 75 year old rather chill in peace? Or be fighting cases in court?

Spirituality teaches us that peace is happiness. There is no mention of bank balance. Only mental and emotional balance.

Seek peace. Or make it. Happiness will come running.

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The prayer was answered

The prayer was answered

Published July 9, 2020

Someone prayed for a beautiful wife. The prayer was answered. The wife was so beautiful that all eyes were on her. Soon the affairs started.

Someone prayed for a million dollars. The prayer was answered. The friends got jealous. Many relationships were lost.

Someone prayed for having kids. The prayer was answered. A baby boy was born. But the mother died in labour.

Someone prayed for their dream job. The prayer was answered. It was unearthed that the company had committed massive fraud. A career was lost.

Someone prayed for that vacation to Hawaii. The prayer was answered. A shark attack and a surfing accident later, a limb was amputated.

We have no clue whatsoever about what the future holds. Therefore let us not pray for things that we believe will make us happy. Let us pray instead, that we always remain happy – no matter the circumstance.

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Do you / did you

Do you / did you

Published June 27, 2020
  • live on the pavement, with no roof over your head?
  • walk 50 kilometres daily in search of water?
  • skip 1 or more meals a day because you don’t have the money for it?
  • have no formal education because your folks couldn’t afford it?
  • grow up as an orphan in an orphanage a substantial part of your early life?
  • test positive for a terminal illness?
  • enter this world with a devastating physical disability?
  • immigrate to another country in an overcrowded boat with no possessions whatsoever?
  • live in the centre of a war zone with no visibility of survival?

No?

Then why are we sad today?

Even many of those who experience such adversities manage to be happy.

Be forever happy now!

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You’ve nailed it!

You’ve nailed it!

Published June 18, 2020

Two prosperous neighbouring kingdoms were ruled by two friendly but competitive kings. One day, one of them decided to renounce the world and lead life as a saint. Hearing this, the other king also decided to follow suit.

They each went their own way, with no possessions more than the ochre robes they were wearing. 20 years of hermit-life later, they simultaneously chanced upon a serene river. Both of them decided to take bath there at the same time.

There was only 1 tree in sight with only 1 nail on it, where they could hang their clothes. Both the king-saints started bickering over the ownership of that nail.

An old woman came by and said “Look and learn from the two great kings of these nearby kingdoms – they had renounced everything. And here you two fools are fighting over a silly nail!”

It doesn’t matter if one has physical possessions or not.

True renunciation happens only in the mind.

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The Shift

The Shift

Published May 16, 2020

A peculiar phenomenon happens in India.

Even those one would consider to be from a very weak economic stratum – like drivers, maids, laborers and others – can often be seen donating to charity, in whatever capacity they can. Even if they may be able to save next to nothing for themselves.

It begs the question, what ‘rich’ really means. Is it measured by the size of one’s bank balance? Or by the size of one’s heart?

Our lack of happiness stems only from one thing. Our thinking that who we are, what we are, what we do and what we have, is all but inadequate.

Perhaps it is time to shift the frame of reference.

Instead of comparing what we do not have with others, we could compare everything that we have that others don’t. Such as family, work life balance, kids, friends, a spiritual support group, healthcare, a job, good food and countless other blessings, that others may be willing to give an arm and a leg for.

This shift is not for economic satisfaction. This is just for mental peace. Which should be infinitely more valuable.

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It’s Time To Party!

It’s Time To Party!

Published May 8, 2020

My Guru gave me a special invitation to his lavish Millennium Party.

He said, “Every person who attends the party, would be gifted a mansion worth US$ 10 million, two Rolls Royce cars, and US$ 25 million wired to their accounts.”

The catch? Each invitee must come in-person, to collect their gifts. The Millennium Party will happen (you guessed it) in the year 2120.

Everyone reading this today would be a 100 years older. Our kids would be great-great-grandparents, their kids would be great-grandparents, their kids would be grandparents, their kids would be parents and some from the youngest generation would have just started working!

Not even one person from today’s 8 billion population will be alive to make it to the party.

Our end is clear, yet we live a life full of one-upmanship.

As Mahatma Gandhi aptly put it, “There is enough in this world for everyone’s need, but not enough for even one man’s greed”.

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The Prayer

The Prayer

Published May 6, 2020

“Dear Lord, please give me a Ferrari, lots of money, a beautiful family, great power in society, top grades in my exams, and while you’re at it, some more money.”

We often synonymize prayer and demands.

How about, “Dear Lord, Good morning! How are you doing today? Hope you rested well. My heartfelt gratitude to you for everything you have given me!”, said with a smile?

If you were God, which would you like to listen to?

Prayer can just be a means to connect to a higher power, aka, the divinity within us.

The more we ask for in life, the greater the chances of us being disappointed.

“I want happiness” said a disciple to the Buddha. The Buddha replied, drop the ‘I’ (ego), drop the ‘want’ (desire), and you have what you seek!

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The Balancing Act

The Balancing Act

Published April 30, 2020

Rich industrialist, or poor farmer. We didn’t choose the family we were born into.

It must be pure chance – an arbitrary allocation.

But if so, would we be happy with such a code of justice, when applied to all aspects of our lives? Surely we do not want the results of our hard work to be arbitrarily assigned to someone else.

The ancients teach us, that life works on the principle of karma.

Karma is any (and every) action. Karmic law is action = reaction, i.e. a balance.

The pleasures we enjoy today – good health, a job, business, money, house, family, food, education – did we really do enough in this life itself to deserve any of them?

We are constantly taking. But it is giving that will (begin to) restore the balance.

The best things we can give? Our time, our wisdom (if any!) and our love. And none of them even cost anything 🙂

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The Happiness Toggle

The Happiness Toggle

Published April 26, 2020

No better way for me to start, than by being grateful to everyone and everything that has brought me to this point. If you are reading this, you too need to be grateful. Why? Because we are lucky to even be alive! So many babies didn’t make it past the fourth month in the womb. But here we are. Our organs are working, and limbs are fine, and we can see and hear and talk and laugh.

Sure, this is common across most other human beings you say – so what? So this, that the more we crave for something we don’t have, the more the anxiety and unhappiness.

Flip that around. Where does the happiness lie. In the object? Or inside us? If chocolate (the object) makes us happy, then why does that happiness not linger?

We do not need anything else. We are already complete. Let us strive to help others, instead of focusing on ourselves all the time. This happiness toggle is in our minds.

As the Buddha said, we don’t need money, to give. We can give compassion with our eyes, sweet words with our mouths, warmth from our touch, a listening companion with our ears and serve with our bodies.

Forget what society wants us to be. Let us be ourselves. If we want to be great, let us start by being grateful – let us be forever happy now!

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