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Category: values

Analogical – part 5 of 5

Analogical – part 5 of 5

Published October 24, 2023

Concluding post today – with another lovely set of outstanding analogies, enabling us to intimately understand the depths suggested by our scriptures:

25. The Mirror and the Reflection: Just as a polished mirror reflects accurately, a purified mind mirrors our true nature.

26. The Artist and the Artwork: Similar to artists crafting masterpieces, the divine orchestrates our lives with intricate care.

27. The Guest and the Host: Much like guests finding solace in hosts’ homes, our souls discover refuge in the embrace of the divine.

28. The Raindrop and Ocean: Just as raindrops merge into oceans, our individuality merges into the expanse of universal consciousness.

29. The Jewel and the Light: Similar to jewels sparkling in the light, the soul radiates brilliance in the presence of divine knowledge.

30. The Wind and the Sky: Just as wind moves through the sky, experiences flow through the canvas of our awareness.

These analogies, like facets of a diamond, reflect the sophisticated-yet-simplistic wisdom of our ancients. By embracing these insights, we can embark on a transformative journey towards self-discovery and everlasting contentment.

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Above and below

Above and below

Published May 11, 2023

Saw this superb video today where legendary Bollywood actor Amitabh Bachchan tells a lovely silly funny profound story in an episode of Kaun Banega Crorepati, or the Who Wants to be a Millionaire Indian adaptation.

So one day, number 9 gets up and slaps number 8. Why? Because number 9 says he’s greater than number 8. Number 8 is furious, but can’t do a thing to number 9. So he gets up and gives one tight slap to number 7 instead. Number 7 is stunned, but cannot do anything. Why? Because number 8 says he’s greater than number 7. So then 7 gets up and slaps 6, 6 slaps 5, 5 slaps 4, 4 slaps 3, 3 slaps 2 and 2 slaps 1. Phew!

1 gets up now, and menacingly walks towards 0. And poor 0 is cowering in fear. But 1 doesn’t slap 0, instead he goes and sits next to 0, and says don’t worry, we are together now, and you might be 0 and I might be 1, but together we are 10, and bigger than everyone else here!

Success doesn’t come from putting people down, but from propping people up. What a super message, isn’t it?

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Parental advisory

Parental advisory

Published April 1, 2023

Everyone wants advice on good parenting. Because it’s become infinitely harder to raise kids these days.

My cousin who’d visited me recently was explaining how his kids (aged 10 and 5) are just in their own world, no different from their other kid-friends.

The way they talk, what they focus on, the fact that at least the city-breds already have everything they could ever need etc.

Sadhguru’s advice on raising kids is sage.

Firstly he says, don’t “raise” kids, because raising them is like raising cattle. All you’ll get is a flock! We need to instead “cultivate” them, and then step back and watch.

He also says, that raising a child is a 20-year project if done well.

If done badly, it’s a lifelong project!

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In the quest for siddhis

In the quest for siddhis

Published February 4, 2023

A lot of people, especially atheists, look for proof that God exists. What they are really looking for, are the existence of deities. And the transfer of some Shakti or energy or supernatural power aka siddhis to them or those they know. This will finally “prove” to them the existence of a higher power.

But the existence of a higher power is already obvious no?

Look at creation. Can any one species on this planet, either alone or collectively build all of creation? Nope. Even the starting point would have to be to use creation itself to create. So, disqualified before the game even starts!

Even amongst us, each one of us already has siddhis. Compared to someone who is deaf or blind at birth, those who can hear or see are surely blessed with siddhis. Just the ability to breathe and be alive is a siddhi! Even beyond that, some people have outstanding oratorical skills, or acting skills, or cooking skills, or math skills, or soft skills and so on. These are all siddhis only. If we can devote ourselves to our ishta devatas in gratitude for what we are already good at, then more will come, but it won’t matter, because the mind will already be pure.

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Metered growth – part 2 of 2

Metered growth – part 2 of 2

Published February 3, 2023

This is a wonderful story about how Hermès controls their brand, and creates a pull factor, a synthetic demand, a craving, if you will. They had all the means to push for more and more growth, but they didn’t. Why?

This goes back about 15 years or so. In Japan. Hermès was selling a type of luxury canvas bag. The ones that would normally be say 10$, but this one sold for maybe 15 times that at 150$. It’s a Hermès after all, and a relatively more accessible one. And so these were flying off the shelves.

99.99% of company managements and Boards would have seen this and said, “Hey, double down, triple down, do whatever it takes, just sell more bags!”

But what did Hermès do? They pulled the bags. Completely took them off the shelves and stopped selling them. Why? Because they knew what they stood for. Ultra Luxury. They didn’t want everyone to own a Hermès and alter their perception of the brand.

The CEO and his team at the time apparently went to get the approval of the Hermès Board at the time to de-authorize selling this incredibly lucrative product, and guess what the Board did? Gave them a standing ovation! Imagine someone doing that today if they are told they will shut down their best selling product…

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Metered growth – part 1 of 2

Metered growth – part 1 of 2

Published February 2, 2023

In this hyper world of hyper startups running at hyper valuations, hyper losses and hyper growth, is there anything that can be metered? Limited? Set to a threshold? And that too growth?

Quite unlikely. Even in life itself, we are all running after something, we often don’t know what. Like a hamster on a wheel, running faster and faster, but mostly getting nowhere.

The guy who stands up and says, “Stop, enough is enough”, wins mental peace, but apparently loses in life.

Would we stand up like this? Or do we prefer to run with the herd?

One incredible (and unexpected!) example I came across recently is of the ultra-luxury brand Hermès. If there was any one entity to gain from hyper growth, it was Hermès, but they didn’t do it. Why? More tomorrow…

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El Genioso

El Genioso

Published November 21, 2022

Everybody wants to be a genius. But not everyone is. Most aren’t. Wikipedia actually doesn’t even have a proper definition. It says there’s no way to quantify any thresholds on who makes it to genius and who doesn’t. IQ 200, and hence confirmed genius? Nope, no such thing.

In a podcast hosted by author and optimist Simon Sinek, he talks about how the word genius was originally not even a trait. The word came from ancient Rome, where genius was actually a good spirit that every human being was thought to be protected and guided by. So it was never “you are a genius” but that “you have a genius”. Along the way of course all this got corrupted.

Simon also posted this once:

The genius at the top doesn't make the team look good. A good team makes the person at the top look like a genius.

There’s no need to be a genius and lose sleep over it. Instead, it’s more important to be ge-nice, i.e. a nice human being.

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Caste away

Caste away

Published September 5, 2022

There’s a lot of confusion about the caste system today as presented in the Gita.

My Guru’s purports, found in Chapter 18 verse 7, are very clear.

  • Traditionally prescribed duty is fixed by caste of birth.
  • Firstly, caste by birth has no validity today. Also changed times require changed interpretation.
  • Earlier, prescribed duty for women was cooking and household work.
  • Today both man and woman work and earn.

Isn’t this super clear? We are in a merit based society. We’ve to work and earn our successes.

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The essence of Krishna

The essence of Krishna

Published August 26, 2022

Krishna tells us to do and follow a lot of things via the Gita. But here’s how Krishna himself followed these (suggested) rules in such a cool manner:

  1. He is always cheerful. His life has been one chock a block full of problems – demons, enemies, asuras, his own people, his birth itself into a poor family etc. But he is ever smiling, even on the Kurukshetra battlefield!
  2. He has zero expectations. Why did the Pandavas fight the war? To get back their kingdom. Why did the Kauravas fight the war? To retain the kingdom they had usurped. Why did Krishna fight the war? Only for dharma, as he would have got no material possession either by winning or losing the war.
  3. He exemplified non-attachment. He was born in Mathura, raised in Vrindavan, lived later in Dwarka. He never kept cribbing that he misses his home town and that he wants to go back. So many people come and go from his life but he was always unattached.
  4. He personifies love. Never once would he not come to the rescue of his devotees.

Krishna led by example. We must only try to follow whatever little we can.

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Should you bribe?

Should you bribe?

Published July 2, 2022

In certain places and situations, it might seem like doing the so-called wrong thing (just a wee bit off the law) might actually be the right thing. Maybe giving a small bribe to move some papers for the benefit of others. Or jumping a red light to get someone to the hospital for an emergency and so on. Somewhat like a white lie.

But is this alright? What do the scriptures say?

Without getting into specific instances of what is right and wrong, here are some principles from the Gita, my Guru and senior satsangis.

1) Do what is dharmic. This message is clear and consistent. 2) Try to avoid doing what we know is explicitly wrong (adharmic). So if the emergency you are battling is a life or death situation, maybe you could be forgiven – but do you always only encounter life and death situations? Surely not. In fact, cutting a signal to avoid a life and death situation could end up actually making the situation a life and death one! 3) Prayaschittam, such as chanting 16 malas of a mantra, to atone for the error, and seek forgiveness. This is done not for the Lord, but for oneself, so that we register the mistake in our minds and try to avoid in the future.

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CEO skills you need to have

CEO skills you need to have

Published June 9, 2022

A few days ago, I had the opportunity to be part of a meeting with the senior leadership team of a large bank. A very very large one.

They were looking for a CEO. Nope they were not interviewing me for that role, but just that thought is itself funny 😂

In any case, the topic of how they would select the next CEO came up.

The leaders had the criteria for CEO super clear in their mind.

Requirements 1 and 2 had no mention of academics or achievements or credentials.

Requirement number 1 was humility. And requirement number 2 was alignment to their culture. Everything else, was quite literally, tertiary.

What abilities are we looking to build if we want to become CEO?

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VVP – part 2

VVP – part 2

Published April 27, 2022

We looked at Vyakti Vastu Paristhithi yesterday.

Today is another VVP. Something called a Value Validation Project.

I came across this awesome concept online. It’s amazingly helpful if you want to land a new job. It’s also amazing if you want to know if you want that job in the first place.

What does VVP involve? If you are applying for a job as a coder (say), the easiest thing is to click the ‘Apply’ button, ship your CV to the recruitment team, and hope for a response, just like a million other applicants.

But how to stand out? By validating your value, via a project. Use the opportunity to code something now itself for your prospective employer, so they see what you can do for them once you join.

This is not limited to coding of course, but can be used in any field. Value validation is not easy, but worth it. Shreyas over Preyas.

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Shouting for directions

Shouting for directions

Published March 1, 2022

Here’s a nice perspective I came across.

We’ve all used Google Maps. The turn by turn navigation has literally changed our lives. So much so, that we wonder how we ever managed to find our way around before it existed. It was launched in 2005, not that long ago, but those were probably very early builds. A really robust one on our phones was probably available 7-8 years later only, which is quite amazing, given it feels like we’ve been with it forever.

What’s awesome to learn from Google Maps is the guiding lady’s peace of mind.

If you ever missed a turn or a u-turn or took the wrong left or right, what does she do? Does she scream? Does she abuse you for not even understanding basic directions?

Quite the contrary isn’t it. She simply finds the best alternative route, re-routes you, and then proceeds to guide us on the new path.

Is there some learning for us from her mannerisms?

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12 and a half

12 and a half

Published February 15, 2022

A very interesting book I’m reading by Gary Vaynerchuk is called Twelve and a half. The author has identified twelve very critical emotional ingredients which he believes are absolutely essential for success. And then he identifies a 13th one as well, but since he believes he has much work to do on that last one, he only accords one-half the weight in the book’s title.

You would have heard of all these 12/13 items – like empathy, accountability, kindness, gratitude etc etc. But what I found very interesting is how the author emphasizes the need to combine these.

We often hear and feel “Good people finish last.” We’ve seen this happen as well – where the nice ones get taken for a ride. But that’s why Gary argues it is important to combine the ingredients, depending on the situation. Here’s a nice example from his book:

Let's say you are the head of a law firm, and you've hired a kid who grew up on "the other side of the tracks". He or she doesn't know the protocols for a fancy dinner with a client, and you end up losing the deal as a result. This is where you have to pull 'gratitude' and 'accountability' from the "spice rack". You need to be thankful for even having the opportunity to own a business and land this new account. You show accountability by realizing that you're the one who hired but failed to properly train that person. All of a sudden, [there is no blame game], and everything becomes secondary.
Note: [my addition]
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Jumping high

Jumping high

Published September 16, 2021

In the Tokyo Olympics high-jump event, the competition was down to two finalists. Both of them jumped exactly the same height of 2.37 metres. And so it was a tie.

The officials had each of them jump again – three more times in fact. But neither Olympian was able to better the 2.37 number.

In the last and final attempt, one of the two contestants had to withdraw because of a leg injury. The other bloke now had a clear path to gold.

But in what would go down in history books as an outstanding example of parasparam bhavayantah (Gita chapter 3, verse 11, nourish one another), the healthy contestant before his final attempt, first checked if he could … wait for it … share the gold with his opponent!

The officials quickly checked and confirmed that it would be indeed be possible. He decided to forgo his final attempt, and in the video, both players are ecstatically seen hugging each other. How amazing is that? We are brought up with the notion that if we win, someone else needs to lose. But life is not a zero-sum-game. If everyone wins, that is the highest jump of them all.

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Growing up

Growing up

Published July 16, 2021

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

An innocuous question. with a range of possible answers.

For very young kids, immediate answers are postman, truck driver, ice-cream van driver or garbage truck driver.

The older ones will link this to some level of so-called professionalism – lawyer, doctor, engineer, scientist etc.

There are other specializations too – which do matter of course.

But the best answers to the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” are these:

Generous, patient, loving, kind, polite, dependable, responsible.

Agree?

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Tough times

Tough times

Published May 26, 2021

There are times when it might seem like everything is going against us. It is good to take on any adversity head-on though with this one thought that occurs to only the most spiritual of beings – “Thank you God/Universe for putting me in this position rather than anyone else. Because at least I will be able to bear this situation and it’s consequences, while those around me if subjected to the very same thing, may not survive.”

At other times, those close to you might be going through a tough time. This could be deep rooted karmic retribution at play. Who can really tell, except perhaps those who have truly Realized? In any case, it might seem like there is nothing we can do to help alleviate the pain. At least physically, yes.

But mentally, and emotionally? We can do many things. One, paramount, is prayer. A wonderful opportunity to not just pray, but pray for someone other than always selfishly for ourselves!

There’s a brilliant video I came across recently. A barber got to know that his client was diagnosed with cancer. The client’s hair had begun falling, thanks to chemotherapy. As the client begins to get his head shaved, the barber intermittently shaves his own head too. What a lovely way to show that he cares! The client is moved to tears.

The tag at the end of the video sums it up beautifully. “That’s not your barber anymore, that’s your brother.”

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P & C

P & C

Published May 13, 2021

In a recent Netflix comedy show called Derry Girls, there’s an interesting scene. A bunch of high school students from two different schools gets together. Not just two schools, but they are also divided by religion – one being Protestants (P) and the other Catholic (C).

The priest ‘Peter’ wants to bring them to all realize that P & C are just terms or outward labels, and that deep down we are all one and the same. He has two girls on either side of two blackboards, one blackboard titled ‘Differences’ and other ‘Similarities’.

Peter then goes on to ask the combined class what any one similarity could be between them P & C. The first answer is that P are richer while C are poorer. The next one says P are taller. The third one says P sing better, and so on. Soon enough, and much to the despair of the poor priest, the Differences board has completely filled up, with not a single word written on the Similarities one. He tries his best to hint (and then discuss openly) that everyone laughs, loves, lives, cries the same, no matter P or C or otherwise.

But his audience couldn’t care less – because they are completely usurped by their past experiences, having interacted with the other type. Of course the scene is mainly for comedic effect, but it is not too divorced from reality. It is hard to view people as human beings, and far easier to label them. The real magic happens when we tear off those labels though.

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Masculinity

Masculinity

Published May 11, 2021

There’s an excellent interview on Youtube of ex-US President Mr. Barack Obama. It’s a very short clip – hardly two minutes long. He is quizzed on what masculinity is, what it means to be macho. Mr. Obama’s response, as expected of him, is simple yet profound.

He says that “a man doesn’t need eight women around you twerking to show their masculinity”. When we see most music videos / ads / movies / magazines / item numbers in songs etc. – they all seem to capture this exact theme – machoism and womanizing.

Instead, Mr. Obama clarifies that what makes a good man, is “first and foremost being a good human being and that means being responsible, being reliable, working hard, being kind, being respectful, being compassionate. The notion that being a man is to put somebody down rather than lift them up is an old view.”

Such a lovely thought, isn’t it? In the spirit of equality, no doubt this applies to women as well – because at the core of this life of ours, we are all human beings first.

We become great when we make others around us great, and this starts by treating them as though they are already great.

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The right thing

The right thing

Published April 29, 2021

We discussed wax-on wax-off before from the blockbuster 1980s movie The Karate Kid. It was a good lesson on how focusing on a mundane training process would help Daniel LaRusso the protagonist pick up some cool Karate skills and ultimately beat the backside out of his arch nemesis Johnny Lawrence.

But this was in the past. Hollywood would never let a good story get away, would they? They’ve now (last 3-4 years) come up with a TV series Cobra Kai. This has the same Daniel and same Lawrence, only now 40 years later – with each having their own competing karate dojos – and boy does it make for some fun watching!

A very nice scene takes place after one of the kids get beaten up and the sensei wonders what he did wrong. He laments in fact that he taught them everything right, did everything right, no cheap tricks, no cheating even, and despite that they lost.

To which the sensei’s trusted friend replies, “It’s okay buddy, you’re doing great. Just because you did the right thing but didn’t get the result you desired, doesn’t mean you should now start doing wrong things. A good person does the right thing all the time, no matter the outcome!”

What a powerful lesson.

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Ritualistic pride

Ritualistic pride

Published April 26, 2021

When doing a puja, homa (havan) or other ritual, the doers often become conceited. “Oh look I just performed a huge yagna and see how many people attended, and see what amazing catering I arranged” etc. Even if the havan was done on a small scale, ego can creep in. But it’s helpful to really think what aspects of the homa or puja were done by “the doer”.

How about these?

  1. The deity we are praying to has to make him/herself available
  2. Agni, the fire God, has to function as the medium and carry one’s prayers to the deity
  3. The various ingredients – coconuts, walnuts, other inflammable items, flowers, ghee, water and everything else – does the yagna doer create these items?
  4. The priest who conducts the ceremony – is the organizer the priest? Soes s/he know every single mantra, shloka, chant – not just to recite, but to understand and to feel? Did s/he create those incantations?
  5. Or maybe if it’s a self-chanted self-conducted ritual, then gratitude to our own memory, vocal chords, the guru who taught us the mantras…
  6. How about the free time we were allowed by our family members to devote to the puja
  7. Also the attendees who showed up, and the cooks who prepared all the dishes
  8. A few other things I would have missed here for sure

Without any of these, how would the havan have been a success? Really is there much for us to be proud of then?

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Small to great

Small to great

Published April 23, 2021

We discussed recently how Yudhishthira and Duryodhana went around the kingdom to find good people, and how the latter couldn’t find even one good person, while the former found goodness in everyone.

Do we too become like Duryodhana sometimes?

If we do a self-audit, would we find ourselves cribbing a lot about others, gossiping, talking behind people’s backs, complaining about the company we work for and the bosses, putting down others who got promotions (especially if they didn’t seem to deserve it!) and so on? Oh and not to forget much of the bashing has actually moved online these days – with social media becoming nothing short of the Kurukshetra battlefield (no matter the topic, there will be enough armchair experts to give you a rough time). It’s fine – these are normal, and we are human, so it is bound to happen.

The real problem with such discussions and thoughts though, is that constantly talking about other people’s negative qualities will subconsciously cause us to also become more negative. We not only talk bad about others, but this mindset also pulls us into a deeply self-critical mode. We eventually begin to question our own looks (lack of hair, long nose etc.), our talents, our abilities and capabilities as well simply because that negativity has seeped right in. Having a positive view of things, and celebrating even small joys and victories each and every day is much better than being morose and picking out the losses, even if they outnumber the daily wins 10 to 1. So it all boils down to keeping the mind focused on the good.

As a former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas.”

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Super talented

Super talented

Published April 17, 2021

We often think that talent is key. So many amazing talents in American Idol or Britain’s Got Talent and the like. Sure, maybe talent might open a door or two. But at least in the professional world, here’s what I’ve noticed are some “talents” which any one can develop. Also, these are super critical, but also super rare.

  1. Being nice to others
  2. Getting along with people
  3. Intellectual curiosity
  4. Being unaffected by failure
  5. Simplifying the complicated
  6. Patience – with results, with people
  7. Impatience with self-effort
  8. Punctuality
  9. GUDUSUNGU

    These might seem simplistic but they are not easy, and certainly not glamorous. But ask any successful person, and they will tell you these are highly under-rated and way more important than education and degrees and the usual skills we associate with the word ‘talent’. These are not taught in schools or colleges or universities, but the best part is that they can be developed by anyone, for free, at any time, with some mindfulness and self-effort.

So, how talented are you?

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Swayed by action

Swayed by action

Published April 7, 2021

Are we swayed often by the sweet words of others? Or perhaps by their inspirational and motivational call-to-action words? It is natural to get swayed by those who speak well. But it would do good to separate the walkers of the their path from simply the talkers. And the world is full of the latter.

One such example is in the world of investing. Twitter is full of them, as is perhaps Reddit too in recent days. Recommendations fly fast and wide on which stocks to buy and which to sell. Newbie investors get easily carried away – often investing the entirety of their hard earned savings, only to realize it was either a ponzi scheme or worse.

As Nassim Nicholas Taleb of Black Swan fame says, “Never ask anyone for their opinion, forecast, or recommendation. Just ask them what they have – or don’t have – in their portfolios.”

This is easily extended to non-investment real life as well. As Rene Descartes put it, “To know what people really think, pay regard to what they do, rather than what they say.”

This simple principle can be used to find the right mentors, guides, friends, colleagues, business partners and any others with whom you need to build a long term relationship. If they do not walk the talk, then it is only talk.

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Robbing invaluables

Robbing invaluables

Published March 21, 2021

Here’s an interesting story I came across on the importance of living life by certain rules. This is apparently true even for those vocations where the work foundationally is built upon breaking rules!

A disciple of the great Chinese philosopher Lao Tsu recited thus “A youth joined a group of dacoits and asked their leader, “By robbing do we get Tao (will you get the way and its virtue)?”
The leader replied “Tell me is there any place where there is no Tao. Even while robbing one should have:
1. the knowledge to know where the treasure is hidden;
2. the courage to lead;
3. enough courage to come out last;
4. insight as to how to be successful even in robbery;
5. justice to equally distribute that which is stolen.
Such a successful robber who possessed these five qualities never existed. For every action in life including robbery we should know the rules and regulations.”

This post is obviously not about glorifying robbery – but that there are two sides to every coin. Even in our own work, whatever it may be, we can either look for the Tao and work in happiness and virtue. Or we can even the do the most pious of jobs, like being a temple priest – with greed and anger. What rules and values do we want to live by, and be known by? We decide…

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Kindness cycle

Kindness cycle

Published March 17, 2021

Here’s a real life story that was featured in one of the local newspapers . An old but very kind and selfless doctor, kept his medical consulting practise going despite the threat of Covid. His aim? To ensure that no one who deserved medical help is denied it.

While he did this for many months, unfortunately he also contracted Covid towards the end. This led him to be hospitalized, and even moved to the ICU, where he spent over a month. Needless to say, the hospitalization costs shot through the roof.

As the doctor slowly recovered, the full realization of the exorbitant amount that would hit him on billing day became more and more apparent. How would he arrange to pay for such a large amount? What would his family say? Would he have to borrow, and at this age? The thoughts came fast and plenty.

A couple of days later, as he was getting ready to get discharged, the nurse walked up to him with the bill. Instead of a big 7-digit number, it was only a 3-digit number, just a token of having been there, as though he went to get a simple tummy ache checked. On seeing his confused look, the nurse told him that the head doctor at the hospital had recognized that this now-recovered doctor was his own professor from medical school from whom he had learned many things and also knew well about his selfless service. He and his staff immediately arranged to take care of all expenses and ensured only the best doctors attended to him.

Kindness begets kindness. We only need to learn to see it. Cheers and prayers to all the frontline healthcare workers!

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Reply

Reply

Published March 5, 2021

Is there a way to make someone happy and praise them while also keeping the bar high? Here’s how my Guru did it once.

Many years ago, one of the satsangis went to him for advice. The satsangi was a bit nervous, as he told Guruji that this was his first time speaking in public on the Gita, and that he was a little scared. Guruji asked him which chapter was assigned to him. He said, “Chapter 7, Guruji.”

Guruji replied thus:
1. Wow, chapter 7, such a beautiful chapter, I’m so happy you got it! [infusing happiness]
2. You know what? My first talk too was on chapter 7. It is easy, and I know your capability, you can do it. [genuine praise]
3. I also prepared hard for it – I had read the chapter over 500 times, so that my session is worth my audience’s time. [setting the bar high]

Isn’t this such an inspiring reply, and something for us to learn?

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Life changing thoughts

Life changing thoughts

Published February 13, 2021

In the book ‘How to Change Your Life by Changing Your Thoughts’ written by James Allen, there are some outstanding lines of thought provoking advice. A few highlights:

Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.
Not what he wishes and prays for does a man get, but what he justly earns. His wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they harmonize with his thoughts and actions.
Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but they are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.
Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results. This is but saying that nothing can come from corn but corn. Men understand this law in the natural world, but not in the mental and moral world.
Blessedness, not material possessions, is the measure of right thought. Wretchedness, not lack of material possessions, is the measure of wrong thought.
The world is your kaleidoscope, and the varying combinations of colours, which at every succeeding moment it presents to you, are the exquisitely adjusted pictures of your ever moving thoughts.
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Ear here

Ear here

Published December 27, 2020

What do we listen with? Our ears right? Of course, so obvious.

But that’s what we think. In one of his workshops to students many years ago, my Guru had posed this very question to his audience. They all replied “Yes, with our ears.”

To which he turned around, showed his back to the audience and continued his talk.

Needless to say, the crowd was completely disoriented. When my Guru turned around again, he smiled and said, “We listen with our ears, yes, but mostly with our eyes.”

This is a problem I’ve often encountered. Most people are always distracted, and when I speak, I’m not sure if what I’m saying is registering in their minds. Not because they don’t care. But because they are distracted. How do I know? Because I’m as guilty of this as the next person. When my spouse / child / family member / friend / colleague is speaking to me, the least I can do is to look them directly in the eye, and give them the attention they deserve. We can no doubt draw some boundaries – like letting the kids know that daddy’s going to be busy between 7 and 10 doing office work or such.

But if we aren’t 100% present in the moment, we must ask ourselves – what are we thinking about? The past that we cannot change? The future we have little control over? A social media post that is far less important than family?

Time to listen with the eyes.

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Praise the struggle(r)

Praise the struggle(r)

Published December 23, 2020

A new Tamil movie released directly-to-home, i.e. bypassing cinema theatres, as many of the latter are still pandemic-shut. The movie titled Soorarai Pottru translates to ‘Praise the Brave’. It loosely chronicles the life and successes of Capt. Gopinath who launched Air Deccan – India’s first affordable airlines for the common man, from back in the early 2000s.

There were a lot of learnings for me from watching the man’s incessant struggles. (Spoiler Alert!) He is driven by just one goal – to enable the common man to fly. While this might seem normal today, flying was only for the elites back then. The protagonist (an Indian Air Force pilot) himself is unable to reach home in time to see his father on his death bed as he is short of funds to buy his plane ticket. He ends up hitching rides of various kinds, reaching his village by road just as the funeral rites commence.

There is the obvious clique of villains, none of whom want competition for their own elite airlines. Despite all kinds of attempts to derail (or should it be deplane!) progress, the Captain never ever gives up. In the worst of times, he goes so far as to part-create a chance meeting with the President of the country resulting in a lifeline for his carrier. The film also showcases the importance of values, family bonding, goal setting and never giving up no matter the adversity.

While some parts of the movie seemed hyperbolic (probably for cinematic effect), there is no doubt Capt. Gopinath struggled his way to success. And as every struggler would attest to, it is the struggle alone that makes the victory sweet. Just ask the butterfly that came out the cocoon, as the struggle alone makes its wings strong enough for flight.

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Lending a ear

Lending a ear

Published December 21, 2020

Back in the 80s when the Internet was first created, people scarcely understood its potential. What is ubiquitous today, wasn’t obvious back then. Why did they think it was doomed to fail? Was it because technology was not ready yet? Not at all. It was because they assumed that creating content would be the work of the large corporations. So a Netscape or a Microsoft would have to create content and put it on the web.

Fast forward to today, and we know who the true content creators are, don’t we? Still unsure? Head over to YouTube, or the billions of blogs on Medium or WordPress, or the millions of webstores on Instagram or Facebook. Not just social media, but ‘social’ itself has become a thing. Stand up comedy has proliferated, as has 360 degree feedback processes. What is it that unites these? All of these are platforms that enable people to have a voice. They are so endearing because there is someone on the other side who is listening.

In the Kural, Thiruvalluvar says that the crown of all wealth a man can have is the art of listening. Despite knowing about the benefits of listening, people rarely listen. Group Discussions in MBA selection rounds are all ‘fishmarkets’ with the loudest prevailing over the rest. Is this the best way to select and groom future leaders? No surprise then that even in office calls today, most people end up cutting others mid-sentence. They also add, as if to sound cool, “Sorry to interrupt you, but here’s what I believe…”, or “Sorry to interject, but my view is…”. Would you like to be interrupted while speaking? Would anyone?

Listening needn’t just be about others. In today’s action-packed stress-laced world, we hardly listen to ourselves, our body and mind’s needs. This is not to say we must indulge ourselves, but we are mostly running after what will make us look good in the eyes of others. Instead, we could stop to listen to our hearts and evaluate what is right for us, rather than for thy neighbour.

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Good to Great, or the reverse

Good to Great, or the reverse

Published December 3, 2020

When Hanuman went to Lanka to rescue Sita, he laid eyes on Ravana for the first time. He described Ravana as “shining like a thousand suns”. He also remarked, “When it comes to greatness, Ravana might well be ahead. But when it comes to goodness, there is no match for Rama!”

Are good and great mutually exclusive? Not, but it is very difficult to combine both. These might explain the difficulty expressed by Scott Fitzgerald’s framework when he talks of having “Two opposing ideas but still retaining the ability to function”. Why? Because greatness gets to the head. The ego swells so much, that there is little room to think of others. Empathy and goodness are replaced by selfishness and greed.

Watching the superb Netflix series Scam 1992 depicts the protagonist Harshad Mehta going through the same conflict. Starting off humbly, and wanting to provide the best for his family, he gets sucked into the world of stock trading. Success after success fuels his ego to such an extent that no amount of wealth and fame is enough. Goodness gets thrown out the window, as fraud after fraud is committed in the quest for greatness.

We must strive for good. Whether great comes or not is irrelevant.

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Birthday of the truly timeless

Birthday of the truly timeless

Published November 30, 2020

Today marks Guru Nanak Jayanti. It is perhaps the most sacred festival in Sikhism. It commemorates the birth of the first Sikh Guru, Guru Nanak. During most of my childhood and youth, I would consider this birthday just another blessing – thanks to the additional holiday each year. But having read about Guru Nanak’s life and teachings in the book Ten Companions of God by J.P Vaswani, there are a lot of lessons for me to learn from.

Initially started as an offshoot of Hinduism, many core principles in Sikhism remain intact. The focus is on service, to humanity as a whole, and specifically to those in need. The underlying belief that the Supreme is One, is also similar. Many Sikhs greet each other by saying “Sat Sri Akal”. Sat is the Truth. Not like a spoken truth/lie, but referring to the only changeless Truth. Sri confers respect on Kal. And Kal refers to time, and a-Kal is the timeless. Thus there is only one True Timeless permanent fixture (aka God), and that is what Sikhs remember, when they greet each other.

There are 3 outstanding tenets Guru Nanak preached.

  1. Vand chako – Share whatever we have, and always be in the service of others
  2. Kirat karo – Be duty bound, work hard and and earn an honest living
  3. Naam japo – Meditate on God

So simple, yet so profound.

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Why I’m (not) incompetent

Why I’m (not) incompetent

Published November 16, 2020

As toddlers, when we wanted to speak better, we were surrounded by those who spoke well, and just kept repeating the same gibberish over and over. Today as an adult language learner, if we are in the company of a native speaker, we feel incompetent.

Where we previously studied and memorised many lists for many exams, today we feel incompetent. If someone at the workplace has better ideas than us, or gets promoted, we feel incompetent. Even at home, if a sibling or a cousin achieves more than us, we feel incompetent.

Incompetence is not jealousy, although it could stem from it. Incompetence is only an excuse to doing better, not a solution. It is this very same feeling of incompetence that leads to depression. Despite having everything, an unsolicited and unnecessary comparison to peers throws life off track.

What if we were to just accept the situation and let go? We are not very good at something? Okay so be it. If we can try to improve, then great, otherwise also great. In the long run, values matter more than skills, because skills can be outsourced and values cannot. Incompetence in values can and must be fixed. Peer comparison in skills is a waste of time, but trying to be the best most-humane person? Always a good thing!

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One-upmanship

One-upmanship

Published November 15, 2020

An article published recently talks of the most bankrupt man in London. He’s the brother of a steel magnate. The steel magnate himself is doing well. A few years ago, this steel magnate wedded his daughter off at a staggering cost of 40 million pounds. FORTY million pounds, for the wedding of just one person. Wow.

Not to be outdone, his brother and now the most bankrupt man, upped the ante. He married his daughter off at a cost of – wait for it – 50 million pounds. Surreal!

Most people could fund 6 generations with that much money. But fine, if someone’s got the money, they are free to spend it the way they want right? Sure they are. But if that person had 50 million to spend on a wedding a few years ago, and has somehow become bankrupt today, what does that tell us? Perhaps a few business decisions went wrong, some error in judgment, a few articles mention fraud as well. I have no idea of the specifics.

But I can’t help but wonder, why the basics are so hard to follow. We all know speed kills, and so does greed. Then why would someone spend so lavishly on something, especially when they can’t afford it. If social status is so important (throwing a big wedding), then doesn’t bankruptcy demolish that very same social status? Being wealthy is great, but why rub it in other people’s faces?

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What to look for in a partner

What to look for in a partner

Published October 31, 2020

Ask some youngsters how they would choose their life partners. “My girlfriend / boyfriend / fiancé / fiancée and I love the same movies / books / TV shows / music / food.” i.e. the answers tend to revolve around interests and hobbies.

Such match making could be disastrous.

Why? Because likes, interests and hobbies (can) change. The songs, movies and books we liked 10 years ago, 5 years ago and 2 years ago are not the same anymore. And 5 years down the line, not only will our tastes change, but our partner’s tastes will change as well.

Instead of trying to match likes and dislikes, what is most critical to match is values and value systems. If I’m soft spoken, value humility and honesty and have a charitable bent of mind, it is very difficult to get along with a spouse who is loud, boastful, cuts corners and is miserly. And liking the same type of action adventure movies is not a panacea for this wide gulf of a difference.

This is where some virtues of arranged marriages (advice from family/elders) and the use of astrology (to identify deep-seated character traits of an individual) can help. Not as tools to force people to marry against their will, as is commonly portrayed. But as a mechanism to ensure the ‘core’ wavelength matches, because the rest is just fluff.

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Kid vs Wild

Kid vs Wild

Published October 21, 2020

Bear Grylls (from Man vs Wild, the amazing TV show) recently did a special episode with Indian actor Akshay Kumar. It was probably not as wild as his other episodes, but he did make AK drink fresh elephant-dung-tea. So full points for that.

The heart to heart conversations between the two were nice. AK spoke of his humble beginnings – serving as a waiter in Thailand, and simultaneously learning martial arts, and then getting a break in modelling and thereafter in acting. He also stressed upon the need to be good parents. To never build in his children a sense of entitlement, them having been born with a silver spoon.

This is an important point. Most parents today pamper their kids no end. It is not uncommon to witness 5 year olds in posh neighbourhoods throw tantrums while getting picked up from school by the household’s second car (Hyundai) because it is not as good as their first car (Mercedes). Parents too think “Oh my sweet little baby. Let him/her have all the best luxuries in life, because I struggled so much to become successful.” And then when the kids grow up and don’t listen to their parents or talk back, the parents are distraught. What else were they expecting? Success doesn’t come easy. If it does, then it is highly unlikely to be valued, and hence sustain.

The ancient Indian advice on raising kids is amazing. “From their birth to age 4, treat your kids like Gods. From 5 to 15, treat them like servants. From 16 onwards, treat them like your best friends.” The word ‘servant’ is one some may take offence to. But the world is a harsh place, and doesn’t care what one’s upbringing has been like. Getting kids to work their backsides off ensures they not only understand the importance of working hard, but are also physically attuned to putting in their blood, sweat and tears whenever required. Kids must be readied for survival, otherwise they are only being plumped up for sacrifice.

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How to think clearly

How to think clearly

Published October 13, 2020

When are our minds crystal clear for decision making? When we are making decisions for others!

Think about it. Your best friend is in deep trouble in his relationship. Your advice comes pat, “Leave her, she’s not the one for you. She does not share your core values.” Or the new neighbour who has been struggling to gel with the others in the society. “Hey, why don’t you invite them over for lunch this weekend? They will get to know you better, and it will cement your place in our group.” There are also the slightly obese ones to whom we are able to easily say, “Boss, your eating habits are terrible. You need to stop drinking 3 cans of coke a day, start including some salad in your meals, and go for a run.” If someone comes to us for business / job advice, our minds are quickly able to put together relevant and useful solutions. “My suggestion is, you write directly to the HR head. Reach out via Linkedin, not via email. Mention your years of experience upfront. Also speak to this guy I know from before – he will definitely connect you.”

Haven’t we all experienced this? Unimaginable clarity, when it comes to helping others.

Then why do we struggle to help ourselves the same way, when we are each so capable? Because of our desires and attachments to the end goals we think we deserve. These delude us, and prevent us from taking the right decisions. What is the way out? To remove the ego, and be honest to ourselves and those around us. Not honest from a ‘speaking the truth’ point of view. But honest from the view that ‘we must see the reality for what it is’.

It would also help to surround ourselves with people who will call a spade a spade. Because just like we so easily help others, others too will find it easy to help us. Win-win!

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Scaling up

Scaling up

Published September 25, 2020

A few sample expectations we have from others:
Perfection from spouse; quick and effusive approbation from employer; concurrence with our views; trusting us unconditionally; be non-judgemental towards us; respect us.

A few sample duties we typically (must) perform:
Daily chores at home; doing our jobs well; parenting; teaching; donating to society; working hard (office and otherwise) not wasting a single moment; progressing mindfully on the spiritual path.

Here below, on a scale of 0 to 100, with 100 being the best:

What an ideal world looks like according to us:
Have expectations worth 100
Do our duties worth 0

What the wise tell us:
Have expectations worth 0
Do our duties worth 100

Where would we rank ourselves on this scale? Where would we want to be?

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Discrimination is good!

Discrimination is good!

Published September 16, 2020

If someone shows off their shiny new US$ 1.2 million Ferrari, contrary to perception, it tells us nothing about that person’s real wealth. What it surely tell us though, is that today that person has US$ 1.2 million less in their bank account!

Why does that matter? Because we think wealth is a sign of success. It might be, but success is not happiness. According to the very interesting book ‘The Budget Deficit‘ by Stephanie Kelton, 40% of Americans can’t pony up even just US$ 400 if faced with an emergency situation – which is just unfortunate and sad. If this is the case for America, what about the developing world?

Okay, let us assume there is enough money for survival. But using that money well? That’s a different story! There are phones in the market today that cost US$ 2000! For just a phone. That number is the same as the annual per capita income of many countries. Unbelievable isn’t it? What would the value of the same US$ 2000 phone be 3 years from now? Most of the features would be totally outdated. Except calling – which is the real reason for buying a phone in the first place. Of course, duh, no one buys a phone for calling anymore. Cameras, gaming, computing power and myriad other reasons exist. Fair enough. But why are people falling over each other (and racking up credit card debt too) to buy 5G phones, when 5G networks aren’t even ready yet where they live?

There is a sanskrit word called vairagyam. It loosely translates to dispassion, detachment, or renunciation. As human beings, we have the ability, no, in fact the power, to discriminate. But we waste it in discriminating against our fellow humans. What if, we could instead discriminate among the things that are worth doing, worth knowing and worth gaining? Choosing experiences over objects. Choosing real relationships over phones. This is the true vairagyam! It is not about renouncing everything. Rather it is about ensuring that no matter what mobile phone we have or do not, or what car we drive or do not, internally we remain at peace.

And here is where ‘valuation’ – primarily a concept in finance and investing – can be applied in real life. If we learn to look objectively at everything around us in the world, and identify whether these really give us lasting happiness, we will not despise anything, but rather value those things. Do we really need that car? Or do we need it only to show off to our neighbours? Honest valuation will bring clarity, which will help us discriminate the necessary from the wasteful.

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What exactly is dharma? – Part 1 of 2

What exactly is dharma? – Part 1 of 2

Published August 30, 2020

This is probably one of the hardest questions to answer. Not because the answer is hard to find. But because there are so many answers and so many perspectives. We may have to assimilate all of them and apply to our lives if we truly wish to transform ourselves. Let us look at them.

The most common contemporary definition of dharma is ‘duty’. The question then becomes, what is my duty? If I hate my job, should I continue doing it, because that is my duty and that I have to provide for my family? Or is it my duty to then put all my efforts into finding myself a new job? How about my duty as a son, a father, a husband, a friend, an employee?

A more nuanced definition then is, whatever you are doing right now, that is your dharma. If I am driving, my dharma is to drive with full attention on the road, and not to listen to some meditative music that might put me into a trance. Ditto for any of the myriad roles we each assume everyday.

In Sanskrit, dharma is defined as dhaarayate iti dharma. Which means, “that which stabilises, is dharma”. We see this in the world around us – when one dictator becomes all too powerful and begins to oppress those around him, there is eventually a people’s revolt that brings him down. Or when the earth is too polluted, a cascading negative impact is felt on its citizens, leading to some cathartic upheaval (like Covid19 brought down pollution for a while).

Another way of looking at dharma, is from the viewpoint of decision making. While the Mahabharata was chock-a-block with the world’s greatest warriors, none of them were able to make the right decisions, as observed by Lord Krishna himself. He says, given the circumstances, grandpa Bheeshma should have broken his vow, while Pandava leader Dharmaraja should have never gambled with dice. So it is possible, the action itself (like killing the Kauravas) may not appear dharmic, but that the decision (to kill the Kauravas in order to uphold justice) behind them is dharmic.

More definitions, and how to apply these to our lives – coming up in part 2 tomorrow!

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The fan

The fan

Published July 20, 2020

Captain America just gifted his Shield to a fan.
Iron Man and Spider-Man are fighting to outdo each other on sending even better gifts to this fan.
This tiny 6-year old fan, has bowled all of The Avengers over!
But how?

A gnarling German Shepherd chased after a 4-year old girl.
The fan, her brother, with not a trace of hesitation, bravely stepped in between.
All he wanted, was to save his sister.
He succeeded, but also got in harm’s way.

90 stitches later, he still has a smile on his tiny face.

Makes me think – would I at his age – have been able to act so selflessly?
Makes me think – would I at this age – be able to act so selflessly?

Values come from the inside. And the inside has no connection to the size of the outside.
This little fan has a new fan!

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No firsts among equals

No firsts among equals

Published July 19, 2020

How can we see the Universal Spark / Brahman / Supreme Soul / God / Super-consciousness in everyone?

A disciple was once singing a devotional song in front of my Guru. All the other members in the audience including his co-disciples, just couldn’t take the screeching any longer. Most of them left the room. But my Guru? He just continued enjoying the praises of the Lord. When the song was over, he asked the disciple to sing the song again. And then again. And then he praised him, saying that it was a heartfelt rendition, and that practising more would make him better.

The disciple knew that his singing was terrible, to say the least. When he asked my Guru, how he could enjoy what no one else could, my Guru said, “That is because I look at you as my own child. If your 2-year old son or daughter were to sing, even if totally out of tune, would you not enjoy and revel in the moment?”

Before we can reach the final states of consciousness that Vedanta speaks of, we must first attempt to see those around us as equals. Not from a material status point of view, but as those worthy of our empathy and compassion.

Only if we can see people as our own, can we then treat them as our own. Without this, the higher concepts will remain just that. Conceptual.

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You’ve nailed it!

You’ve nailed it!

Published June 18, 2020

Two prosperous neighbouring kingdoms were ruled by two friendly but competitive kings. One day, one of them decided to renounce the world and lead life as a saint. Hearing this, the other king also decided to follow suit.

They each went their own way, with no possessions more than the ochre robes they were wearing. 20 years of hermit-life later, they simultaneously chanced upon a serene river. Both of them decided to take bath there at the same time.

There was only 1 tree in sight with only 1 nail on it, where they could hang their clothes. Both the king-saints started bickering over the ownership of that nail.

An old woman came by and said “Look and learn from the two great kings of these nearby kingdoms – they had renounced everything. And here you two fools are fighting over a silly nail!”

It doesn’t matter if one has physical possessions or not.

True renunciation happens only in the mind.

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Step aside

Step aside

Published May 19, 2020

When does one become ‘senior’ in an organization? Is it when one has 5 years of experience? Or 10, 20, or 30?

There is no right answer. And for good reason. 25-year olds can and do run companies, just as 65-year olds can and do too.

Everybody’s experience levels are different. Just as their skill sets and temperaments are.

Someone with 30 years of experience might be great in a banking role, but a recent graduate with 2 years of experience may far outweigh that experience in a technology role.

But it is good to treat everyone well, senior or junior. For, today’s reportee could well become tomorrow’s boss.

If someone thinks you are not fit to do a particular job, that is only their opinion. And opinions being free, may come and go. If our mental make-up is not strong, we can quickly feel inadequate.

Forget what others say. No Chairman or Founder or CEO was ever born for or accepted in a role de-facto.

We each have the capability to be anything we want to. As long as we don’t let ourselves stand in the way.

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Wooden gold

Wooden gold

Published May 18, 2020

A traveling storyteller once visited a village. Her story revolved around two men. One, Mr. Perfect, was the most righteous man ever born. And the other, Mr. Terrible, was a villain of the worst kind.

At the end of her narration, she offered the audience to come and pick for themselves from several wooden dolls of both, Mr. Perfect and Mr. Terrible.

No prizes for guessing. Everybody picked Mr. Perfect.

In a nearby village, she told the same story. However this time, she offered the same wooden dolls of Mr. Perfect, but 24-carat golden dolls of Mr. Terrible.

What do you think everyone picked?

Most of our choices are based on valuables, not values.

Is that how we want to be known?

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